Katlyn’s 9 Steps Towards Healing from Trauma, Abuse, and an Eating Disorder

In a deeply candid and moving conversation, Katlyn, a survivor in recovery from narcissistic abuse, Complex PTSD, and anorexia, shared invaluable insights into her journey. Her words offer a beacon of hope and practical guidance for anyone grappling with the aftermath of trauma and the challenging path of recovery.

Katlyn’s experience highlights the tumultuous nature of healing, emphasizing that it’s not a linear ascent but rather a complex dance of progress and setbacks. Yet, through vulnerability and the development of crucial coping mechanisms, a more grounded and present life is possible.

1. Recognizing the Need and Finding Inner Strength

Before recovery, Katlyn described emotional instability and chaos, feeling disconnected from the present. The turning point came when she recognized her strength in escaping a harmful situation. “Once I got myself out of that situation, it was a wake up call for me that I had the strength and resilience to remove myself from the situation to even identify the abuse as it is.” This acknowledgment of inner resilience is the crucial first step towards healing.

2. Seeking Support and Building a Foundation

A cornerstone of Katlyn’s recovery was actively seeking support from trusted individuals and professionals. “To help set myself on a path to recovery, I reached out for help, first of all, to people that I trusted with my vulnerable state. Um, I then got myself into some therapy specifically for what I am going through in recovering from.” Therapy, support groups, and even nutritional guidance create a vital network for navigating the complexities of trauma recovery.

Explore treatment options for trauma and eating disorders.

3. Establishing Structure and Self-Care Rituals

Creating daily routines provided Katlyn with stability and fostered self-care. “Just kind of establishing daily rituals for myself, kind of a container and structure for my day…made me feel healthy, clean, loved, and taken care of by myself.” Consistent rituals, even small ones, offer comfort and reinforce self-compassion.

4. Processing Emotions Through Expression

Katlyn found significant benefit in expressing her emotions, whether through journaling or talking. “I think journaling was something else that I started doing daily…my main advice would be to get it out, vomit out the emotion, however you need to do that.” Externalizing feelings prevents them from becoming internalized and allows for greater self-awareness and emotional regulation.

5. Rebuilding the Self with Compassion and Connection

Recovery involves redefining one’s relationship with oneself, moving away from being defined by trauma. “Seeing me for the first time with all of the things that I’ve experienced as a beautiful, strong person versus feeling like those things are me, are defining me.” Connecting with others who have similar experiences breaks isolation and reinforces that healing is possible. Group and family therapy can provide a safe place to foster meaningful connections. Cultivating self-compassion is also key.

6. Allowing Time and Embracing the Nonlinear Journey

Katlyn emphasized the importance of patience in the healing process. “That’s something else that I learned that helped me stay in recovery is that I need time. Time changes things. It gives us new perspectives.” Trauma processing is not linear; it involves ups and downs. Accepting this reality and allowing time for healing is crucial.

7. Cultivating Present Moment Awareness and Reclaiming Joy

Finding grounding in the present and rediscovering joy are vital aspects of recovery. “Having started my recovery journey, my life now is definitely a lot more present…my life is filled with…just a lot of good freaking food.” Engaging with the present and allowing oneself to experience pleasure, even in small ways, counteracts the negative impacts of trauma.

8. Setting Boundaries and Communicating Needs

Learning to identify fear, set boundaries, and communicate needs empowers survivors. “I have had to retrain myself to defend myself and recognize when I’m having, um, an intuition of fear…I have the tools and, um, capacity to communicate that versus being stuck.” Developing these skills is essential for self-protection and building healthy relationships.

9. Embracing Change and Recognizing Inner Strength

Katlyn offered a powerful message of hope and resilience. “The advice that I would give someone who is a survivor of anything traumatic is that things will change and that you deserve to see out the change…remind yourself how strong you are, how worthy you are.” Recognizing one’s inherent strength and the impermanence of difficult times fuels the ongoing journey of recovery. Even acknowledging the desire for change is a significant and brave first step.

Katlyn’s journey underscores that healing from trauma is a multifaceted process that requires courage, support, and self-compassion. By embracing these essential steps, individuals can begin to find their footing and move towards a more grounded and hopeful future.

Neurodivergent Symptoms: Insights and Resources for Enhanced Well-Being

Neurotypical people follow conventional paterns of thinking and behavior that align with societal expectations whereas neurodivergent brains function in unique ways. Neurodivergence is not a medical term, though some people with neurodivergence have a formal diagnosis of medical conditions like autism, ADHD, or dyslexia.

The idea of neurodiversity1 was introduced by Judy Singer in 1998 to highlight natural variation in brain development.

5 most common neurodivergent traits graphic

What It Means to Be Neurodivergent

Neurodivergent refers to individuals whose brains function differently from what is considered typical. This includes conditions like autism spectrum disorder (ASD), ADHD, dyslexia, and more.

These differences are not deficits, but rather natural variations in human brain function.

Neurodivergent individuals may face challenges2 in areas like communication, social interaction, or sensory processing, but they also possess unique strengths, such as creativity, problem-solving, or attention to detail.

People with neurodivergence can thrive by focusing on their abilities rather than limitations.

What are some effective strategies for supporting neurodivergent individuals in social settings, especially those struggling with social cues or anxiety?

When it comes to supporting neurodivergent people, it’s all about coming from a place of understanding and honoring neurocognitive differences. It’s not about teaching them how to socialize like a neurotypical person — it’s about guiding and supporting them so they can engage socially in ways that are meaningful to them.

When they understand their own sensory processing, they can begin to advocate for sensory-friendly environments when going out with friends. They may discover strategies or tools that support them socially, like fidgets, noise-dampening headphones, or choosing lower-stimulation settings.

Sarah Anderson, OTD, OTR/L | Elevated Wellbeing OT

Neurodivergent Conditions

The following are considered to be neurodivergent conditions:

  • Autism spectrum disorder (ASD)
  • Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
  • Dyslexia
  • Dyscalculia
  • Intellectual disabilities
  • Sensory processing disorders
  • Social anxiety

Notably, neurodivergence is not a medical term but a framework for understanding diverse ways of thinking and processing the world.

neurodivergence masking hidden self quote illustration

Recognizing the Symptoms of Neurodivergence

Neurodivergence encompasses a range of cognitive and developmental conditions that can manifest in various ways.

Common conditions under this umbrella3 include autism, ADHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, and dyscalculia. Each of these conditions presents a unique set of symptoms, but there are general patterns that may be signs of neurodivergence.

  • People with autism often face challenges with understanding social cues which can make social situations uncomfortable and lead to difficulty in forming relationships. Additionally, people with autism and may display repetitive behaviors, demonstrate sensory sensitivities, and/or show intense interests in specific topics.
  • ADHD is commonly associated with difficulty in sustaining attention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity, though individuals with ADHD may also exhibit periods of hyperfocus, especially on areas of interest.
  • Dyslexia primarily impacts reading, spelling, and writing, with individuals often struggling with word recognition and decoding skills.
  • Dyscalculia is often referred to as, “math dyslexia” and can make it challenging for individuals to understand number concepts, perform basic arithemtic, tell time, and/or estimate quantities.
  • Dyspraxia affects coordination and motor skills, making everyday tasks like tying shoes or writing challenging for those affected.

While these neurodivergent symptoms may be noticeable from an early age, it’s important to recognize that they can vary significantly in severity from person to person.

Additionally, many neurodivergent individuals also experience co-occurring mental health conditions, such as anxiety or depression, which can further complicate symptom recognition. By understanding these diverse traits and challenges, we can better identify when someone may be neurodivergent and offer the right support and accommodations.

Impact on Daily Life

Being neurodivergent comes with both strengths and challenges that impact daily living.

Neurodivergent individuals often experience the world in unique ways, which can influence how they interact with their environment, approach tasks, and manage social situations. For instance, people with ADHD and autism have difficulties with time management, completing tasks, or understanding social cues.

Neurodivergence is often linked to an increased likelihood of experiencing mental health conditions like anxiety and depression. At the same time, neurodivergent people may demonstrate exceptional creativity, problem-solving abilities, or hyperfocus in certain areas of interest.

Ultimately, understanding and embracing neurodiversity can lead to better support systems in schools, workplaces, and social settings, helping individuals thrive despite these challenges.

common neurodivergent types and symptoms

Mental Health, Addiction, and Neurodivergence

Neurodivergent individuals, particularly those on the autism spectrum, often face heightened mental health challenges, including higher rates of anxiety and depression. These difficulties are influenced by a range of neurodevelopmental, genetic, and environmental factors.

Personalized mental health support4 that is informed by neurodivergence, recognizes the unique ways brains work in neurodivergent individuals. It is crucial that healthcare professionals provide a personalized, holistic approach to treatment when supporting neurodivergent individuals in navigating their mental health struggles and fostering resilience.

While the connection between neurodivergence and addiction is complex, it’s essential to recognize that mental health challenges, and potential mental illnesses, faced by neurodivergent individuals can contribute to the risk of developing addictive behaviors. Co-occurring mental health conditions, such as anxiety or depression, may lead some individuals to turn to substances or other coping mechanisms as a way to manage their symptoms.

Understanding how neurodivergence and mental health challenges intertwine is key to developing effective strategies for addressing addiction in people with neurodivergence.

How can we best address the mental health challenges that often co-occur with neurodivergence, and what role do individualized support systems play in promoting well-being?

Many of the same evidence-based therapies that exist for anxiety, depression, PTSD, and other mental health challenges can be helpful for autistic and ADHD folks, as long as they’re provided in a neurodiversity-affirmative way. Dialectical Behavior Therapy, for example, can help many people who struggle with intense emotions or impulsivity, and it can be adapted to accommodate various sensory, learning, and executive functioning needs.

Therapy is always going to be most effective when the client believes the therapist understands them and is considering their unique preferences, values, and goals. Individualized support systems are so important for promoting well-being, for anyone, but especially for neurodivergent people.

Kiki Fehling, PhD, DBT-LBC

Embracing the Unique Strengths of Neurodiversity

Neurodivergent individuals are often misinterpreted and undervalued; there are many unique cognitive abilities that are frequently viewed as challenges rather than strengths.

Embracing neurodiversity means recognizing the value of the unique ways in which neurodivergent brains work such as exceptional creativity, attention to detail, and intense focus. These strengths can drive innovation and problem-solving in various fields, from technology to the arts.

By fostering inclusive environments that celebrate cognitive diversity throughout society including in schools, universities, and workplaces, we can unlock the full potential of neurodivergent individuals, benefiting both society and the economy. Understanding and embracing these differences in the ways people’s brains work helps create more inclusive spaces where everyone can thrive.

Tips for Promoting Inclusion

Promoting inclusion involves creating environments that recognize and embrace neurodiversity. For schools and workplaces, this means offering individualized support or reasonable accommodations, to ensure that neurodivergent individuals can fully participate and thrive. Encouraging neurodivergent individuals to share their unique perspectives can enhance creativity and problem-solving within teams, ultimately driving innovation.

Training staff and peers on neurodiversity, along with providing accessible resources, further empowers individuals to feel accepted and valued in their communities or workplaces.

It is crucial that all areas of society work to foster a culture of empathy and respect—where differences in thinking and learning are celebrated rather than viewed as deficits. This approach not only benefits neurodivergent individuals but enriches the broader environment by promoting understanding and reducing stigma.

What are some of the most common misconceptions about neurodivergence, and how can we work to challenge these misunderstandings in schools, workplaces, and society at large?

One of the biggest misconceptions about neurodivergence is that it only shows up as visible or disruptive behavior, when in reality, many people mask their differences to fit in, often at the cost of their mental health. Another is assuming neurodivergent individuals are either ‘too much’ or ‘not enough’, rather than recognizing their unique strengths. We can start to challenge these misunderstandings by listening to lived experiences, making room for multiple ways of thinking and processing, and shifting from compliance-based environments to connection-based ones.

Amanda Stretcher Lewis, MA, LPC-S | Crescent Counseling

Improving Well-Being

Improving the well-being of neurodivergent folks requires a multifaceted approach that focuses on enhancing personal strengths, developing appropriate coping mechanisms, and keeping executive functioning in check.

Key resilience factors,5 such as effective emotion regulation, self-determination, and self-understanding, play a crucial role in promoting mental health and quality of life. Neurodivergent individuals who develop strong emotional regulation and adaptive coping strategies are better able to manage stress, reduce anxiety, and improve their overall resilience.

Similarly, fostering self-esteem and self-efficacy—through a sense of agency and competence—has been linked to improved mental health outcomes, including better social functioning and reduced depressive symptoms.

Additionally, cultivating a positive self-identity, including embracing one’s neurodivergence, can contribute to a stronger sense of self-worth and resilience, buffering against the challenges that arise from societal stigma.

Participation in meaningful activities, including leisure, recreation, and community engagement, also plays a vital role in enhancing well-being. These activities not only improve social functioning and life satisfaction but also buffer against negative factors like depression and loneliness. Regular engagement in physical activities, in particular, has been shown to foster resilience, reduce stress, and improve both mental and physical health.

By focusing on building self-awareness, offering opportunities for growth, and ensuring access to supportive environments, it is possible to significantly enhance the well-being of neurodivergent individuals, promoting greater life satisfaction and emotional health.


FAQs

Q: What are 3 signs of being neurodivergent?

A: Neurodivergence can manifest in various ways depending on the individual and their specific condition. A person qualifies as neurodivergent if they process information differently from the general population. Three signs of being neurodivergent are:

  • Behavioral traits that reflect atypical cognitive processing, such as challenges in social interactions, learning, or attention.
  • Diagnosis of a neurodivergent condition (such as autism, ADHD, or dyslexia).
  • Experiencing co-occurring conditions like anxiety or depression.

Q: What makes you considered neurodivergent?

A: You may be considered neurodivergent if you have a neurological condition that leads you to think or behave in ways that are different from the general population.

Q: What is a low-support neurodivergent?

A: A low-support neurodivergent individual is someone who, despite having a neurodivergent condition is able to manage day-to-day tasks, maintain executive functioning, and navigate social situations with minimal support. Many people considered to be low-support face challenges that are not always visible. Note that in the past, this was referred to as “high-functioning.” There is a move away from this language as some with personal experience note that determining a level of functioning does not always match the actual persons internal experience of their needs level.

Q: What is neurodivergence?

A: Neurodivergence refers to the natural variation in how people’s brains work, leading to unique ways of thinking, behaving, and learning. Conditions such as autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and others fall under the neurodivergent umbrella, challenging the concept of a “one-size-fits-all” way of thinking.

Q: Are people born with neurodiversity?

A: Yes, neurodivergence is often present from birth or early childhood. Some conditions, like autism, ADHD, and dyslexia, can be detected early, while others may become apparent as individuals grow older.

Neurodivergence is typically believed to be part of an individual’s genetic makeup, though environmental factors can also influence how traits manifest.

Q: What is regressive autism?

A: Regressive autism refers to a form of autism spectrum disorder (ASD) where children appear to develop typically for a period of time before losing previously acquired skills, such as speech or social abilities. This regression is a subject of ongoing research.

Q: What skills do neurodivergent people have?

A: Neurodivergent individuals often have exceptional skills, particularly in areas like attention to detail, creativity, problem-solving, and pattern recognition.

For instance, people with autism may have intense focus on specific topics, while individuals with ADHD may exhibit creativity and the ability to think outside the box.

Q: What does neurotypical mean?

A: Neurotypical refers to individuals whose cognitive functioning and behavior align with societal norms or expectations. They don’t have conditions like autism or ADHD that lead to unique ways of processing information, learning, or interacting socially.

Q: What are neurodivergent symptoms in adults?

A: In adults, neurodivergent traits may include unique challenges with time management, organization, maintaining focus, or navigating social relationships. These differences are part of the unique way in which you engage with the world and approach daily tasks.

It’s also common for adults with conditions like ADHD or autism to experience co-occurring mental health challenges, such as anxiety or difficulty managing stress.

Understanding these traits allows you to develop strategies that work for you and seek the support that empowers your well-being and success.

Q: How can I tell if I’m neurodivergent?

A: If you find that you approach focus, learning, social interaction, or communication in ways that are unique to you, you may be neurodivergent. These differences are part of the rich diversity of human experience and thinking.

Tools for self-assessment or evaluations from professionals can help you explore whether you identify with conditions like ADHD, autism, or dyslexia. While these traits often become apparent in childhood, they can also evolve and become clearer in adulthood, offering opportunities for self-discovery and growth.

Understanding these traits can empower you to embrace your strengths and seek support in areas where you may need it.

Q: How can I recognize neurodivergent traits in children?

A: In children, neurodivergent traits can manifest as unique ways of engaging with the world, such as deep and focused interests, heightened sensory awareness, and a distinctive approach to social interactions.

These children may demonstrate a strong ability to focus intensely on subjects they are passionate about, often displaying remarkable expertise in those areas.

While they may face challenges with attention, adapting to routine changes, or navigating social situations, these traits are part of their incredible diversity of thought and perspective.

Teen Depression: 5 Ways to Recognize the Signs and Support Your Child’s Mental Health

Depression in teens is a growing concern and causes can vary, significantly impacting their emotional health, academic performance, and social relationships. As they navigate the challenges of adolescence, feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or withdrawal can sometimes go unnoticed or be mistaken for typical teenage mood swings.

However, untreated depression can lead to serious consequences, including declining school performance, strained relationships, and even self-harm. Understanding the difference between occasional moodiness and clinical depression is crucial in ensuring that struggling teens receive the help they need.

This article explores the key signs of depression in teens, practical ways for parents and caregivers to support them, and when to seek professional intervention. By fostering open communication and creating a supportive environment, caregivers can play a vital role in helping teens navigate their mental health challenges and build resilience.

Side-by-side infographic titled “Understanding the Difference” comparing typical teen behaviors vs. signs of depression. The left side lists: occasional irritability, seeking independence, minor sleep changes, school stress, and emotional ups and downs. The right side lists: persistent sadness, complete withdrawal, major sleep disruptions, declining school performance, and hopelessness or worthlessness. Decorative potted plants—healthy on the left, wilted on the right—highlight the contrast.

1. Recognizing the Signs of Depression in Teens

Emotional and Behavioral Signs

One of the most common symptoms of depression in teens is a persistent feeling of sadness, hopelessness, or irritability that lasts for weeks or even months. Unlike temporary mood swings that come and go, this emotional distress lingers and affects their overall outlook on life.

Teens struggling with depression may express feelings of worthlessness, despair, or a sense that things will never get better. They might also become more easily frustrated or lash out unexpectedly, even over minor issues, which can be mistaken for typical teenage behavior.

Another key indicator is a noticeable loss of interest in activities1 they once enjoyed or engage in risky behaviors. Whether it’s sports, hobbies, or social gatherings, they may withdraw from things that previously brought them happiness. This disengagement is often a sign that they are struggling to find motivation or pleasure in their daily lives.

Additionally, depressed teens tend to be more sensitive to rejection or perceived failure. Small setbacks—such as a poor grade, a disagreement with a friend, or not making a sports team—can feel overwhelming and trigger intense emotional responses. This heightened sensitivity can lead them to isolate themselves further, reinforcing feelings of loneliness and discouragement.

Illustration of a teen and adult exchanging puzzle pieces, symbolizing emotional support. The quote reads: “Teens don’t need you to fix them. They need your support while they learn to heal themselves.” The image promotes mental health awareness and highlights the importance of supportive relationships in teen healing.

Physical and Cognitive Signs

Depression doesn’t just affect a teen’s emotions—it also takes a toll on their physical health. One of the most noticeable signs is a disruption in sleep patterns, which can manifest as sleeping too much or struggling with insomnia.

Some teens may spend excessive time in bed, feeling exhausted and unmotivated to get up, while others may lie awake for hours, unable to quiet their racing thoughts. Poor sleep can further contribute to irritability, difficulty concentrating, and an overall sense of exhaustion, making daily tasks feel overwhelming.

In addition to sleep disturbances, depression often leads to unexplained physical issues,2 such as headaches, stomachaches, or body aches. These symptoms may not have a clear medical cause, yet they persist and interfere with daily activities, sometimes leading to frequent absences from school. The cognitive effects of depression can also be profound, with teens struggling to focus, retain information, or make decisions.

They may find it difficult to complete schoolwork, follow conversations, or even make simple choices, such as deciding what to wear or eat. These challenges can lead to frustration and self-doubt, further impacting their academic performance and overall well-being.

What are the most effective ways for parents to approach a teen who is reluctant to talk about their depression?

Make sure to approach your teen in a setting where they feel safe and comfortable, free from pressure or distractions. Stay calm and open—focus on listening with curiosity rather than reacting, and notice your own emotional responses in the moment. Validate their feelings without pushing for details, letting them know you’re there when they’re ready. When appropriate, gently offer treatment options to support their autonomy and sense of control.

Sarah Anderson, OTD, OTR/L | Elevated Wellbeing OT

Social and Academic Indicators

Depression can cause young adults to isolate3 themselves, avoiding friends, family members, and social gatherings. They may prefer to spend time alone, withdrawing from relationships that once brought them joy. For some, excessive time on social media replaces in-person interactions, leading to deeper isolation. Mental health problems like adolescent depression also interfere with self-confidence, making depressed teens hesitant to participate in group activities, sports, or clubs. Over time, this social withdrawal can increase the risk of suicidal thoughts or self-harm, especially if they feel unsupported by peers or loved ones.

Academically, teen depression can result in declining grades, missed deadlines, and overall disengagement from schoolwork. Teachers and school counselors may notice sudden changes in participation, attendance, or motivation. Struggling students may experience mental disorders like major depression alongside other health conditions including addiction, making it difficult to focus or retain information. In severe cases, academic failure can contribute to thoughts of suicide, reinforcing the need for early intervention.

what not to say what to say teen with depression.jpg

2. Creating a Supportive Environment

Open and Non-Judgmental Communication

One of the most important ways to support a teen feeling overwhelmed by depressive disorder is to create a safe space for open and judgment-free conversations. Many depressed teens struggle to express their emotions because they fear being misunderstood, dismissed, or seen as a burden. Family members and caregivers should encourage honest discussions about emotions without minimizing or invalidating what the teen is experiencing. Saying things like, “I hear you, and what you’re feeling is valid,” can help them feel supported rather than dismissed. It’s crucial to recognize that adolescent depression is more than just moodiness—it is a serious mental health problem that requires compassion and patience.

When a loved one opens up about their struggles, active listening is key. Instead of immediately offering solutions or trying to “fix” their emotions, simply acknowledging their pain can make a difference. Warning signs like expressions of hopelessness, thoughts of suicide, or feelings of worthlessness4 should never be ignored. If a teen expresses serious distress, it may be time to seek help from a mental health professional, such as a school counselor, therapist, or health care provider specializing in psychiatry.

How can caregivers differentiate between typical teenage mood swings and signs of clinical depression?

While mood swings are a normal part of adolescence due to fluctuating hormones and developmental changes, clinical depression has noticeable characteristics that impact more than just mood. Caregivers should pay attention to lasting changes in behavior such as isolation/withdrawal from family and friends, loss of interest in activities, changes in sleep or appetite, dramatic weight loss/weight gain, thoughts of hopelessness, or self-harm. If these symptoms last more than two weeks and interfere with daily functioning, it’s time to seek professional help. Trust your instincts! If something feels off, it’s always better to check in with a mental health provider as soon as possible.

Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP, CIMPH | Astute Counseling & Wellness Services

Building a Safe and Comforting Space

Maintaining a stable routine at home can provide a depressed teen with a sense of security and stability, which is especially important when they are struggling with mental health problems. Consistent meal times, a structured sleep schedule, and regular family interactions can help reduce feelings of uncertainty and stress. Additionally, encouraging positive coping mechanisms like journaling, art, or music can give them a healthy outlet to process their emotions.

These activities not only serve as forms of self-expression but can also support mental well-being by reducing anxiety and fostering creativity. Providing a nurturing and predictable environment can make a significant difference in helping a teen manage symptoms of depression and regain a sense of control over their life.

Promoting Healthy Habits

Encouraging regular physical activity, a balanced diet, and sufficient sleep can significantly improve a teen’s mental health, as exercise releases endorphins that help combat symptoms of depression. A nutritious diet supports brain function, while proper sleep is essential for emotional regulation and overall well-being.

Limiting excessive screen time and exposure to negative social media influences can help reduce anxiety, comparison, and isolation. Setting healthy boundaries around technology use encourages more meaningful real-world interactions and prevents mental health problems linked to social media overuse.

3. Encouraging Professional Help

Knowing When to Seek Help

If a teen’s symptoms of depression persist for more than two weeks and begin to interfere with their daily life, school, relationships, or overall well-being, it may be time to seek professional support. Signs such as ongoing low self-esteem, withdrawal from activities, and a decline in schoolwork could indicate the need for depression treatment. If they express suicidal thoughts, engage in self-harm, or talk about feeling hopeless, immediate intervention is crucial.

Types of Professional Support

  • Therapy Options: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) are effective in helping teens develop coping strategies,5 challenge negative thought patterns, and regulate emotions.
  • Medication: Health care providers or psychiatrists may recommend antidepressant medication to help balance brain chemistry, though it is important to monitor for any side effects.
  • School and Community Resources: Guidance counselors and support groups offer immediate assistance for teens in distress. Additionally, local mental health organizations and online resources agencies, such as the National Institute of Mental Health, provide valuable education and access to professional care. Suicide prevention resources, such as the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, can provide immediate support, while long-term depression treatment may include CBT, interpersonal therapy, support groups, or antidepressant medication.

Reducing the Stigma of Mental Health Treatment

It’s important to normalize therapy and medication as valid and effective forms of support for teen depression, just as we do for physical health conditions. Seeking help from a mental health professional, engaging in psychotherapy, or using antidepressant medication when prescribed by a health care provider should be seen as responsible steps toward healing rather than signs of weakness.

Sharing stories of public figures,6 role models, or even loved ones who have successfully managed depressive disorders can help reduce stigma and encourage teens to seek help without fear of judgment. Celebrities, athletes, and influencers who openly discuss their experiences with major depression, CBT, or interpersonal therapy can inspire young people to recognize that they are not alone and that recovery is possible with the right treatment options and support.

4. Strengthen the Parent-Teen Relationship

Balancing Support and Independence

Offering guidance to a depressed teen is crucial, but it’s important to do so without being overbearing or making them feel pressured. Providing gentle support, checking in regularly, and reminding them that help is available can make a significant difference in their mental well-being. At the same time, respecting their need for privacy is essential, as pushing too hard may cause them to withdraw even more. Staying engaged in their life—whether through casual conversations, shared activities, or simply being present—ensures they feel supported while maintaining a sense of independence.

Encouraging Social Connections

Supporting friendships and activities that boost self-esteem can help a depressed teen feel more connected and valued. Encouraging them to spend time with loved ones and engage in positive social interactions can counter feelings of isolation often associated with teenage depression.

Group hobbies like sports, clubs, or volunteering provide opportunities to build meaningful relationships while fostering a sense of accomplishment and belonging. These activities improve mental well-being and serve as healthy distractions from negative thoughts and mental health problems.

Monitoring Without Controlling

It’s important to stay aware of any noticeable shifts in a teen’s mood disorder symptoms, such as increased withdrawal, persistent sadness, or sudden behavior changes. Regular gentle check-ins can help them feel supported without making them feel pressured or scrutinized. Instead of invasive questioning, asking open-ended questions like, “I’ve noticed you seem a bit down lately—do you want to talk about it?” can encourage them to share their feelings in a safe and comfortable way.

What immediate steps should parents take if they suspect their teen is having suicidal thoughts?

Listen without judgment or emotional reactivity, as best you can–they need to be heard at this time without loud noises or raised voices. If the child is unsure that they can keep themselves safe, take them to the emergency room immediately for a psychiatric evaluation. If the child has self-harmed, calmly ask the following: Where? What did you use? Where is the weapon now?

Then, take steps to remove the weapon as well as potential weapons from the child’s reach by placing those objects in a lock box. This may seem inconvenient, but it is necessary to keep the child safe. Ensure the child will not act on any urges moving forward. Look into local Intensive Outpatient programs for mental health and schedule a screening as soon as possible. These 3-hour, daily therapeutic programs offer close monitoring, meetings with a psychiatrist, and individual plus group therapy offerings where the child will learn several skills to manage self-harm urges or suicidal ideation, and the family will learn how to best support their child during this difficult time.

Jennifer Chicoine, MA, LCPC, CCTP | Peaceful Healing Counseling Services

5. Address Crisis Situations

Recognizing Warning Signs of Suicide or Self-Harm

It’s crucial to recognize warning signs that may indicate a teen is struggling with suicidal thoughts or engaging in self-harm. Expressions of hopelessness, feeling like a burden, or frequently talking about death can be red flags that they need immediate support. Additionally, actions such as giving away personal possessions, saying goodbye in a meaningful way, or suddenly withdrawing from loved ones could signal an urgent need for intervention and professional help.

Taking Immediate Action

If a teen shows warning signs of suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it’s essential to stay calm and approach the conversation with empathy and openness. Creating a safe environment by removing access to harmful objects, substances, or anything they could use to hurt themselves can help prevent impulsive actions. If they express suicidal intent, seeking immediate professional help—whether by contacting a crisis hotline like the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, taking them to the emergency room, or reaching out to a mental health professional—can be life-saving.

Help is Available

Helping a depressed teen requires patience, empathy, and ensuring they have access to the right mental health resources. Providing early intervention and consistent emotional support can significantly improve their ability to cope with symptoms of depression and prevent their struggles from worsening. By fostering a safe, open, and nonjudgmental environment, we can empower teens to navigate teenage depression, seek help when needed, and build resilience for the future.

FAQs

Q: What is teen depression?
A: Teen depression is a serious mental health condition that affects how a teenager thinks, feels, and behaves. It goes beyond typical mood swings and involves persistent sadness, irritability, and loss of interest in activities, interfering with daily life and development.

Q: What are the symptoms of major depression in a teen?
A: Symptoms of major depression7 in teens include:

  • Persistent sadness or hopelessness
  • Irritability or anger
  • Withdrawal from friends and activities
  • Changes in appetite or sleep patterns
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Low energy or fatigue
  • Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
  • Thoughts of self-harm or suicide
    These symptoms must last at least two weeks and significantly impact functioning.

Q: What are the signs and symptoms of depression?
A: In addition to emotional changes, signs of depression may include physical complaints (like headaches or stomachaches), academic decline, social withdrawal, and changes in behavior such as reckless or risky actions.

Q: Is my teenager depressed or just moody?
A: It can be difficult to distinguish normal teenage moodiness from depression. If your teen’s sadness, irritability, or withdrawal lasts more than two weeks and interferes with school, relationships, or daily activities, it may be clinical depression and worth seeking help.

Q: What causes depression in teens?
A: Depression in teens can result from a combination of factors, including:

  • Genetic predisposition or family history
  • Hormonal changes
  • Traumatic experiences or adverse childhood events
  • Ongoing stress (e.g., academic pressure, bullying)
  • Co-occurring conditions like anxiety or ADHD

Q: What are the five main causes of depression?
A: The most common contributing causes of depression include:

  1. Genetics and family history
  2. Brain chemistry imbalances
  3. Environmental stressors
  4. Trauma or abuse
  5. Chronic illness or substance use

Q: What are the coping skills for depression?
A: Effective coping skills include:

  • Practicing mindfulness or meditation
  • Engaging in regular physical activity
  • Creating a consistent sleep schedule
  • Journaling or expressing emotions through art
  • Talking with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist
  • Limiting social media use and screen time

Q: How can I support my teenager who is struggling with depression?
A: Support starts with creating a safe, open environment for communication. Listen without judgment, encourage healthy habits, validate their feelings, and seek professional support if symptoms persist. Be patient and consistently present.

Q: How do you help someone with depression who doesn’t want help?
A: Begin by expressing concern calmly and compassionately. Avoid forcing treatment but gently offer support and encourage small steps, like talking to a school counselor or joining a peer support group. Sometimes involving a trusted adult or professional can help open the door.

Q: When should I call my teen’s healthcare provider?
A: Contact your teen’s provider if you notice:

  • Persistent sadness or hopelessness
  • Withdrawal from activities or people
  • Sudden changes in behavior or performance
  • Expressions of self-harm or suicidal thoughts
    Early intervention can make a significant difference in recovery and well-being.

Reclaiming Hope from Depression: 9+ Lessons for Moving Forward When You’re Stuck

This article summarizes a heartfelt conversation from the Giving Voice to Depression podcast, hosted by Terry McGuire. In Episode 357, “The Power of Yet: Reclaiming Hope,” Terry and co-host Dr. Anita Sanz revisit Lori’s deeply personal journey through persistent depression. With remarkable honesty, Lori shares the painful truths, small victories, and gentle shifts that helped her reclaim a sense of hope after nearly a decade of feeling stuck.

This article isn’t about “quick fixes” or magic solutions. It’s about the power of small steps, the importance of connection, and the courage it takes to remain open to the possibility of change—even when hope feels out of reach. Whether you are navigating depression yourself or walking alongside someone who is, these insights offer gentle reminders that healing is possible—even if you haven’t found the right path yet.


1. Understand That You Are Not Broken, You Are Stuck

The most profound realization Lori took away from her treatment experience was one that challenged the very foundation of how she saw herself:

Lori: You don’t need to be fixed because you’re not broken. You’re just stuck.

Those words softened years of self-blame. Because broken feels permanent. It suggests damage that cannot be undone. But stuck? Stuck means there’s still a way forward. Maybe not easily, maybe not quickly—but forward nonetheless.

Why this matters:

  • Stuck means temporary. Broken feels hopeless.
  • Stuck suggests there is a way through. Broken suggests there is not.
  • Stuck invites compassion. Broken fuels shame.

If you are struggling, please hear this: You are not broken. You are not beyond help. You are stuck—and stuck is something that can change.

2. Know That You Are Not Alone

For so many people living with chronic depression, one of the heaviest burdens is the belief that they are the only one who feels this way. Lori expressed this beautifully when she said:

Lori: I didn’t know anybody at all like me that just lived with that all-the-time depression.

That sense of isolation can deepen despair and reinforce the lie that something is uniquely wrong with you. But Lori’s experience at the treatment center introduced her to others who shared similar struggles. It was life-changing.

Lori: It maybe just took a little bit of the burden off of me just thinking that it was just me.

Ways to remind yourself you’re not alone:

  • Join a peer support group
  • Listen to stories like Lori’s and others on Giving Voice to Depression
  • Seek community through online mental health forums

Connection breaks isolation. It chips away at the lie that you are the only one.

3. Make Small, Consistent Shifts

One of the most powerful lessons Lori learned was the importance of small, manageable changes—what she calls “tiny shifts.”

Lori: They said, what if you’re willing to shift your thinking like one degree? Not 180 degrees—one degree.

It can be tempting to believe that healing requires radical transformation. But often, it’s the small, consistent adjustments that move us toward a better place.

Think of an airplane changing course by just one degree. Over time, that tiny shift leads to an entirely different destination. It’s the same with depression recovery.

Gentle suggestions:

  • Try one new coping tool
  • Adjust your inner self-talk by just one phrase
  • Commit to one small act of self-care each day

You don’t have to overhaul your life. You just have to be willing to try something different—even one degree different.

4. Embrace the Power of “Yet”

Throughout the episode, Terry and Dr. Anita reflect on the significance of one small word: yet. It’s a word that keeps the door to possibility cracked open, even when hope feels impossible.

Instead of saying:

  • “I’m not better.”

Try saying:

  • “I’m not better yet.”
  • “I haven’t found what helps yet.”

“Yet” acknowledges the reality of where you are without closing the door on where you could go. It’s an invitation to remain open to the possibility of change—even if that change hasn’t arrived today.

5. Recognize Depression’s Lies

Depression is more than sadness. It’s a master manipulator—a voice that whispers cruel, believable lies about your worth and your future.

Lori: I always wanted somebody to fix me. I’m like, why can’t somebody fix me? Why can’t meds fix me, why can’t a counselor? Why can’t I be fixed? And they said, you don’t need to be fixed because you’re not broken. You’re just stuck.

Depression lies when it tells you:

  • “You are worthless.”
  • “You will always feel this way.”
  • “Nothing will ever help.”

As Terry gently reminds listeners:

Terry: Of course, every message you’re getting is ‘Nothing will change and you’re not worth it,’ but that’s the lie.

To counter these lies:

  • Speak your truth out loud
  • Challenge the negative thoughts, even when they feel convincing
  • Surround yourself with people who remind you of your value

6. Honor Your Past Without Letting It Define You

Lori shared how easy it was to live in the story of her past—believing that the failures and pain behind her were proof that nothing could change.

But one small shift in thinking changed everything:

Lori: Your past is very important… but now what? How do you get through the rest of your life?

Acknowledging where you’ve been is vital. But staying stuck there keeps you from moving forward. Healing invites us to carry the lessons, not the weight.

Ways to let go of the past’s grip:

  • Mindfulness practices that anchor you in the present
  • Forgiveness work (especially self-forgiveness)
  • Compassionate self-reflection instead of harsh judgment

7. Lighten Your Load: From Backpack Person to Screen Door Person

One of the most memorable metaphors Lori shares is the idea of being a “backpack person” versus a “screen door person.”

Lori: I was a huge backpack person. Everything that happened to me—and to others—I put it in my backpack and carried it. It just got so heavy.

When we carry every hurt, every disappointment, and every responsibility like stones in a backpack, the load becomes unbearable. Lori learned to let go of that weight, choosing instead to let life’s experiences “blow through” like air through a screen door:

Lori: I don’t need to cling to it. I don’t need to judge it. I don’t need to carry it.

Visualize this:

  • Notice what you’re packing into your backpack
  • Ask yourself what you can let go of today
  • Picture yourself as a screen door—allowing life to flow through without trapping it inside

8. Redefine Your Worth: You Don’t Have to Earn It

A major shift for Lori came when she realized how much of her pain was tied to contingent self-worth—the belief that her value had to be earned through success, perfection, or selflessness.

But in treatment, she heard a truth that helped her begin to break free from that cycle:

Lori: My worth is a set point. It’s not changeable.

Your worth is not up for debate. It is not based on your productivity, your weight, your income, or how many people you please. It is inherent. It is constant. It is yours.

Daily reminders:

  • “I am worthy as I am.”
  • “My worth does not fluctuate.”
  • “I do not have to earn the right to take up space.”

9. Stay Open-Minded About What Might Help

Lori’s healing journey didn’t look like what she expected. In fact, some of the tools that made a difference were things she might have dismissed before.

As Terry observed:

Terry: There may be gourd painting, and it’d be real easy to be like, ‘Oh, hell no.’ But the act of doing that shifted something.

The truth is, we never know what might open a door, spark a shift, or offer relief. Sometimes, what seems silly or “not for me” turns out to be the thing that helps the most.

Stay open to:

  • Creative outlets
  • Mindfulness exercises
  • Group experiences you’ve never tried before

Remember Anita’s words of wisdom: “Never say never.”

10. Trust That Slow Progress Is Still Progress

Healing is not linear. There are no straight lines in this journey, and there is no timeline you “should” be on.

Lori: It took a lot of years—my whole lifetime—to get to where I was. I can’t just spin on a dime and everything’s different now.

But even with that reality, Lori noticed something beautiful: the dread that once met her every morning had begun to soften.

Lori: I don’t go to bed at night fearing having to wake up the next morning. I don’t wake up feeling severely disappointed because I wish I hadn’t. I’m slowly doing better, and I’m not in any rush to get better or be happy—but I’m noticing more contentment in my days. And that’s enough for now.

Let this be your encouragement:

  • Slow is okay
  • Small is meaningful
  • “Enough for now” is still enough

Final Thoughts: You Are Worthy of Hope and Healing

Lori’s story is a powerful reminder that even when depression feels like it has stripped away every ounce of hope, there are still paths forward—even if they are small, even if they are slow, even if you haven’t found them yet.

Terry: Depression is too dark a road to walk alone.

Please remember: you are not alone. You are not broken. You are worthy of support, compassion, and hope.

Healing may not happen overnight. But with each small step, each gentle shift, and each courageous act of staying open to the possibility of something new, you are moving forward.

And sometimes, that’s the bravest thing we can do.

Dependence vs. Addiction: 5 Holistic Healing Strategies to Break Free and Thrive

What’s the difference between dependence and addiction? It’s more than just cravings. Learn how your body and mind react to substance use, how to spot the warning signs, and how to break free from addictive behaviors using healthy, natural solutions.

Dependence vs. Addiction

Dependence1 happens when your body gets used to a substance like opioids and needs it to feel normal, like when people get headaches if they skip their morning coffee. Addiction2 goes a step further. It changes how the brain works, making someone feel like they have to keep using a substance like opioids even if it’s hurting them. 

While dependence is mostly physical, alcohol addiction or prescription drug use takes over a person’s thoughts, emotions, and choices, making it much harder to stop, resulting in loss of control and negative consequences without help.

Illustration of a woman standing with her head in her hand, tangled in blue-green vines growing from the ground, symbolizing the struggle of addiction and dependence. Text reads,

Why Understanding These Terms Matters for Your Well-Being 

Understanding the difference between physical dependence and addiction helps you make smart choices about your health. Physical dependence means your body has made adaptations to something, but addiction takes away control and can harm your mind, which may cause health issues with your body. 

Knowing the signs can help you recognize when a habit is becoming a problem. Then, you can take steps to stay in control and get help if necessary.

What are the key biological and psychological differences between dependence and addiction, and why is it important to distinguish between them?

Dependence is physical. When the body relies on a substance, often leading to tolerance, there develops a desire for continuous use, and the body will experience withdrawal symptoms when not using. Addiction goes beyond that. It’s a psychological condition marked by compulsive use, cravings, and continued behavior despite harm. While someone can be dependent without being addicted, addiction reflects a deeper disruption in behavior and brain function, it’s neurological. Understanding the difference is key to understanding substance use and providing the right treatment and support.

Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP (Neuroscience), CCFP, CIMPH | Astute Counseling & Wellness Services

Decoding the Signals

Your body and mind have ways of telling you when something isn’t right. If you have a substance use disorder, you might feel symptoms of withdrawal3 like headaches, fatigue, or irritability when you stop using it. With alcohol or drug addiction, the signs go deeper: constant urges, mood swings, trouble focusing, or feeling like you need something to feel normal. 

Infographic titled

These side effects are your body’s way of asking for balance, and paying attention to them can help you make healthier choices.

Here are five 5 holistic healing strategies to break free and thrive in your life, whether you identify with having a substance dependence, addiction, or you aren’t quite sure yet.

1. Mindful Awareness: Understanding Your Triggers

Identifying Triggers

Emotional and situational triggers can lead to substance use and make it harder to break free from addictive behaviors. Stress, anxiety, or even being around certain people or places can create cravings, pushing someone toward drug use, alcohol addiction, or other harmful habits. 

Practicing mindfulness for addiction recovery helps you recognize these triggers so you can make healthier choices and avoid the negative consequences of substance dependence.

Breaking Bad Habits with Meditation and Journaling

Meditation and journaling4 are powerful tools for breaking patterns of substance use and compulsive behaviors. Meditation helps calm the mind, reduce cravings, and improve mental health, making it easier to manage stress without turning to drug use or alcohol addiction. 

Journaling allows you to track emotions, identify triggers, and reflect on progress, which can be especially helpful during withdrawal symptoms or while working through an addiction treatment plan.

2. Nourishing the Body for Recovery

Foods that Support Brain Health and Balance Hormones

Eating the right foods5 can improve mental health, reduce cravings, and support recovery from substance dependence. The best diet for addiction recovery includes foods rich in omega-3s, like flaxseeds and walnuts, which help repair the brain after substance use disorder. 

Leafy greens, berries, and nuts provide essential vitamins and antioxidants that balance hormones and improve overall well-being, making it easier to handle stress6 and avoid addictive behaviors.

Hydration, Gut Health and Emotional Stability

Staying hydrated and maintaining a healthy gut play a huge role in emotional stability7 and overall well-being. Dehydration can lead to brain fog, mood swings, and increased cravings, making it harder to manage substance dependence and withdrawal symptoms. 

A balanced gut, supported by probiotic-rich foods like yogurt and fiber-filled vegetables, helps produce serotonin.8 This brain chemical boosts mental health and reduces the risk of compulsive behaviors linked to substance use disorder.

How can holistic approaches, such as nutrition, mindfulness, and movement, support recovery from both dependence and addiction?

Recovery isn’t just about abstinence; it is healing. You start reclaiming the life you deserve, finding balance again through simple but powerful tools such as regular physical activity, a balanced diet, and mindfulness. Physical activity releases endorphins, your brain’s natural mood boosters. It eases anxiety, improves sleep, and gives you a healthier way to cope.

Sorhaya Zamor, RN

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3. Movement as Medicine

Reset Brain Chemistry Through Exercise

Exercise helps reset brain chemistry9 by boosting dopamine10 and serotonin, the “feel-good” chemicals that improve mental health and reduce cravings. Regular movement can help people struggling with substance use disorder, opioid use, or alcohol addiction by providing a natural way to experience pleasure without relying on prescription drugs or other substances. 

Whether it’s walking, yoga, or strength training, exercise11 also reduces stress and helps with withdrawal symptoms, making it a key part of addiction treatment and long-term recovery.

Get Moving and Get Motivated

When motivation is low, even small movements can make a big difference in mental health and recovery from substance dependence. Start with simple activities like stretching in bed, taking a short walk, or dancing to your favorite song! These small steps can help reduce cravings and improve mood. 

Regular movement,12 even for just a few minutes a day, supports brain chemistry, eases withdrawal symptoms, and makes it easier to build healthier habits over time.

4. Building Healthy Coping Mechanisms

Replacing Harmful Habits With Positive Ones

Breaking free from substance dependence or addictive behaviors is easier when you replace harmful habits with positive ones. Instead of turning to drug use, alcohol addiction, or compulsive behaviors, try activities like yoga, painting, or spending time in nature to boost mental health and reduce cravings.

Finding healthy alternatives helps rewire the brain, making it easier to regain self-control and build a lifestyle that supports long-term well-being.

Creative, Healthy Ways to Support Healing

Breathwork,13 yoga, and creative outlets are acceptable tools for healing from substance dependence and improving mental health. Breathwork calms the nervous system, reducing stress and cravings that come with withdrawal symptoms. 

Yoga strengthens the body and mind, helping people regain self-control and manage emotions without turning to substance use. 

Creative activities like painting, writing, or playing music provide a positive way to express feelings, making it easier to replace compulsive behaviors with healthier coping strategies for long-term well-being.

5. Creating a Supportive Environment

Community and Connection

Having a strong community and connection is necessary for healing from substance dependence and improving mental health. Support groups, whether in-person or online, provide encouragement, understanding, and accountability for those recovering from substance use disorder or alcohol addiction. 

Surrounding yourself with positive influences, such as friends, loved ones, or a recovery group, reduces feelings of isolation and helps prevent relapse, making it easier to stay committed to long-term well-being.

Setting Boundaries and Creating a Space for Peace

Creating healthy boundaries is essential for maintaining long-term well-being and staying on track with recovery. By saying “no” to situations or people that trigger substance use or addictive behaviors, you create a safe space during healing. 

Establishing clear limits helps protect your peace, reduce stress, and make room for positive habits, like exercise or mindfulness, that support mental health and recovery from substance use disorder. Creating this space for yourself ensures you stay focused on building a balanced and healthier life.

What are the biggest misconceptions people have about addiction, and how can we better educate individuals and communities about prevention and healing?

We are still challenged with the idea that addiction is simply a moral issue and not a medical issue. If society viewed addiction more as the medical condition it is, there would be a shift in how individuals seek treatment as opposed to feeling shame, guilt, and isolation. We know there are physical, psychological, and spiritual components in the process of recovery from SUD, but one of the important things those in a position who encounter people with SUD need to change is the language we use. Words matter.

Robin Delaney, Director | Celebrate Recovery

Thriving Beyond Dependence and Addiction

Recap of Key Strategies

Breaking free from substance dependence or addiction takes time, but with the right strategies, it’s possible to heal naturally. Start by:

  • Practicing mindfulness to identify emotional triggers
  • Eating a brain-boosting diet
  • Staying hydrated
  • Getting active to reset your brain chemistry
  • Replace harmful habits with healthier ones like yoga or journaling
  • Connect with a supportive community through recovery support groups. 
  • Setting clear boundaries helps protect your progress and create a space for long-term well-being. 

By following these steps, you can learn how to heal from addiction naturally and build a fulfilling life.

Small, Sustainable Steps Toward Healing

Healing from substance dependence or addiction doesn’t need to be overwhelming. Start with small, sustainable steps that fit into your daily routine, like staying hydrated, getting a little exercise, or practicing mindfulness. 

Each step, no matter how small, helps you build momentum and progress. As you take these actions, you’ll start to notice changes in your mental health and well-being. Recovery from substance use disorder is a journey. With every positive choice you make, you’re creating a stronger, healthier future!

Additional Resources and Support

If you’re looking for extra help on your journey to healing from substance dependence or addiction, there are many resources available. Support groups, whether online or in person, offer a sense of community and guidance, helping you stay connected with others who understand what you’re going through. 

Recovery.com can connect you with healthcare providers and addiction specialists. 

For more hands-on support, consider looking into addiction treatment centers, detox programs, or inpatient care options. You don’t have to go through this alone. There are plenty of resources to help you take the next step in your recovery.

FAQs

Q: Are addiction and dependency the same thing?

A: No, although they’re related, addiction and dependence are not the same. Dependence refers to the body’s physical reliance on a substance, while addiction involves compulsive substance use despite harmful consequences, often tied to behavioral and emotional control issues.

Q: What is the meaning of drug dependence?

A: Drug dependence means a person’s body has adapted to a drug, leading to tolerance and withdrawal symptoms if they stop using it. Dependence can occur even when a drug is taken as prescribed.

Q: Is caffeine drug dependence or addiction?

A: Caffeine use is generally considered a form of physical dependence. While many people experience withdrawal symptoms like headaches or irritability when they stop consuming caffeine, it typically doesn’t involve compulsive use or harmful consequences, so it’s not classified as an addiction.

Q: What is psychological dependence or addiction?

A: Psychological dependence refers to the emotional or mental reliance on a substance to function or feel good. It’s often associated with addiction, where the person continues to seek out the substance for its mood-altering effects, even when it’s harmful.

Q: What is drug dependence?

A: Drug dependence is a medical condition where the body becomes used to a drug, leading to tolerance and withdrawal symptoms. It can occur with both prescription medications and illicit substances.

Q: What is a substance dependence?

A: Substance dependence is a type of drug dependence where a person needs a specific substance to avoid withdrawal symptoms and may prioritize using it over other responsibilities.

Q: What is the definition of physical dependence?

A: Physical dependence is when the body adapts to a drug, requiring more of it to feel the same effect (tolerance) and causing withdrawal symptoms when use is reduced or stopped.

Q: What are the criteria for diagnosing substance abuse disorders?

A: According to the DSM-5, substance use disorders are diagnosed based on criteria like cravings, continued use despite harm, inability to control use, tolerance, and withdrawal. Severity ranges from mild to severe depending on how many criteria are met.

Q: What is a substance use disorder?

A: A substance use disorder (SUD) is a medical condition where the repeated use of alcohol or drugs causes significant impairment or distress, affecting health, relationships, or daily responsibilities.

Q: What is the difference between opioid addiction and dependence?

A: Opioid dependence is a physical condition where the body needs opioids to function. Opioid addiction includes behavioral components, such as cravings and compulsive use, even when it’s harmful. A person can be dependent without being addicted.

Q: How can you tell if someone is dependent on a substance versus addicted?

A: Look for behavioral signs: someone who is dependent may use a substance without loss of control. Someone who is addicted often prioritizes substance use over responsibilities, relationships, or health, and struggles to stop despite consequences.

Q: How can you tell the difference between dependence and addiction?

A: Dependence is physical and often expected with long-term medication use. Addiction includes psychological and behavioral symptoms like cravings, loss of control, and continued use despite negative effects.

Q: How can you tell if someone is dependent on or addicted to a substance?

A: You can observe patterns like increased tolerance, withdrawal symptoms, cravings, unsuccessful attempts to quit, and neglect of responsibilities. A clinical assessment by a healthcare provider can offer a clear diagnosis.

Q: How can you tell if someone has a dependence or an addiction?

A: If the person uses a substance to avoid withdrawal, it may be dependence. If they also display compulsive behaviors and continue use despite harm, it’s more likely addiction. Both may require treatment, but approaches differ.

12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous: 5 Ways You Can Benefit From the Steps of AA, Whether or Not You’re an Alcoholic

Anyone seeking spiritual growth and/or mental health improvement can benefit from the 12 Steps of AA, as they rely on similar transformative mechanisms found in traditional psychotherapy.

Millions of people today attribute their ability to live life to the fact that they are committed to the 12 Steps. Some people discover the 12 Steps through addiction treatment, others may know about the 12 Steps because they have seen a loved one work through them, and still others stumble upon the 12 Steps seemingly by chance.

The 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous are a set of guiding principles designed to help individuals recover from addiction, build spiritual connection, and lead more honest and purposeful lives. Originally created for people struggling with alcohol use by founders Bill Wilson (Bill W.) and Dr. Bob Smith, these steps have since been adapted by various recovery programs and treatment programs addressing a wide range of issues—from drugs and food to relationships and emotional challenges.

Infographic titled 'Top 3 Myths of Alcoholics Anonymous'. Myths listed are: 1. Alcoholics Anonymous Is Only for Alcoholics, 2. Alcoholics Anonymous Is a Religious Program, and 3. You Have to Hit Rock Bottom to Join AA. Visual icons include a tilted wine glass, a cross, and crystals, all set against a light blue background.

How have 12-Step fellowships changed since the widespread use of virtual meetings?

Virtual recovery spaces, including AA meetings and other 12-Step fellowships, have removed barriers to recovery, connecting people across the world who might have been unsure or anxious about attending a meeting in person. More people than ever have discovered shared stories of hope and recovery through virtual platforms.

Caroline Beidler, MSW

How do the 12 Steps of AA fit into a recovery program?

A person may work the 12 Steps of AA while in a treatment center, in conjunction with an outpatient program, at the recommendation of a family member, or by seeking help through a helpline.

While it is possible to work through the 12 Steps on your own, the true benefits come when one works “the Steps” alongside others.

Though none of the following are requirements, doing step work often goes hand-in-hand with reading the Big Book, joining a support group, and attending step meetings.

For many people, addiction comes with isolation, and healing truly begins in connection with others. Therefore, joining AA groups and attending meetings are highly encouraged to support one’s Twelve Step work.

The 12 Steps outline action-based principles that help individuals address their addiction(s) and grow spiritually. These steps work in harmony with the Twelve Traditions, which are guidelines that ensure group unity and focused functioning.

Richard Rohr’s book Breathing Under Water: Spirituality and the Twelve Steps, captures the essence of the 12 Steps: “We do not think ourselves into new ways of living, we live ourselves into new ways of thinking.

Infographic titled '7 Different Challenges the 12 Steps of AA Can Help You Overcome'. Challenges listed include: Chronic Anxiety, Grief or Loss, Toxic Relationships, Shame or Guilt, Control Issues, Emotional Avoidance, and Spiritual Emptiness. Visual elements feature simple icons next to each challenge and a large blue tree growing from an open book on a light blue background.

5 Benefits of AA

The following are a list of benefits of working the 12-Steps that can benefit anyone.

1. Taking a Moral Inventory

Part of working the 12 Steps is taking a moral inventory of oneself, which involves looking deeply and honestly at oneself and becoming willing to let go of anything interfering with one’s spiritual growth.

This process is about acknowledging our flaws, which can be painful and tedious. But is essential for growth, change, healing and recovery. By humbly letting go of negative behaviors and beliefs, we create space for new growth and improved relationships with others.

As a result of this work, one develops greater tolerance, patience, kindness, and self-awareness ultimately opening oneself up to the healing power of a God, as one understands God. These benefits, based in the willingness to change, brings one a sense of peace and faith that touches all areas of one’s life.

2. Letting Go of Defects of Character

Another important part of the 12 Steps is the willingness to let go of character defects that hinder spiritual growth. Character defects often serve as coping mechanisms, ultimately preventing one from living authentically and practicing spiritual principles.

  • By becoming aware of one’s defects of character and developing an openness to change, one starts freeing oneself from self-destructive patterns and embraces a readiness to be transformed by a Higher Power.
  • This work is a lifelong commitment and practice that fuels one’s personal growth and connection with others.
  • By becoming aware of these defects and opening ourselves to change, we start freeing ourselves from self-destructive patterns. This step requires humility and faith, both of which prepare us for deeper personal growth and connection with others.

Is there anyone who would not benefit from, or who could potentially be harmed by the 12 Steps of AA?

As clinicians, it’s our responsibility to screen individuals for group appropriateness, including 12-Step groups, recognizing that while they help many, they may not be suitable for everyone. In community-based peer support like AA, there’s often no formal screening, so it’s important to help individuals explore whether the approach aligns with their needs and experiences. Individuals with a history of religious trauma or those who prefer secular, non-spiritual models may find the spiritual emphasis challenging. Others may struggle with the language around powerlessness or the focus on moral inventory if they are also navigating trauma or self-worth issues. Everything in treatment and support has the potential for both benefit and harm, and to deny that would be to overlook the uniqueness of each person’s journey. Ultimately, one size does not fit all, and honoring that helps us provide more personalized, compassionate care.

Andrew Schreier, ICS, CSAC, LPC, ICGC-II, BACC

3. Making Direct Amends

The importance of making amends to the list of all persons one has harmed is not meant to erase guilt, but rather to restore relationships and enhance spiritual growth. This practice is something all people can certainly benefit from.

  • Making direct amends might feel intimidating, but it is one of the most transformative parts of the 12-step program because it allows one to humbly practice forgiveness and accountability.
  • Healing can only happen once one has accepted what needs to be healed, and that includes accepting one’s past actions. Accepting the role that one played in straining a relationship is a sign of integrity that restores one’s self-esteem and strengthens one’s commitment to personal growth, moving us closer to greater freedom and peace.
Visual chart titled 'The 12 Steps of AA, Rewritten for Any Form of Personal Growth' from Recovery.com. Steps include: 1. Accept What You Can’t Control, 2. Be Open to Guidance and Hope, 3. Let Go of Control and Surrender, 4. Look Honestly at Yourself, 5. Speak Your Truth to Someone Safe, 6. Get Honest About What’s Holding You Back, 7. Ask for Help to Grow and Change, 8. Reflect on Relationships That Need Healing, 9. Make Things Right Where You Can, 10. Check In With Yourself Often, 11. Make Space for Reflection and Stillness, 12. Share Your Growth and Keep Showing Up. Light blue background with a small Recovery.com logo at the bottom.

4. Taking a Personal Inventory

Daily self-reflection and action are encouraged as part of the 12 Steps in order to maintain spiritual progress. One commits to identifying and correcting missteps before they escalate as well as fostering emotional balance and self-awareness.

  • By staying committed to a practice of taking personal inventory, one learns to promptly admit mistakes, learn from one’s behavior, and continue making necessary amends.
  • As a result, one continuously improves one’s relationships, strengthens one’s connection with a Higher Power, and cultivates humility, integrity, and peace.

Are there some principles or steps in AA that are challenging from a trauma-informed lens?

One core element of trauma-informed care is empowerment. This may seem at odds with Step One, where one is called to accept their powerlessness over substance, but I’ve learned that accepting powerlessness over alcohol and/or drugs enables us to become empowered in most every other important area of our lives.

Tim Lineaweaver, LMHC | Wreckage to Recovery

5. Having a Spiritual Awakening

Having a spiritual awakening is necessary and unavoidable for anyone seeking growth. Through this awakening, one gains access to qualities like patience, love, and honesty, which transform how one approaches life.

The Universal Invitation of the 12 Steps

The 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous may have been born from the struggle of addiction, but they offer tools that reach far beyond recovery from substance use. They provide a path toward integrity, accountability, spiritual connection, and healing—gifts that anyone, from any walk of life, can benefit from.

Still, important questions remain: When is the right time to introduce someone to the Steps? Are there circumstances where the Steps may not be beneficial—or even potentially harmful? And in a digital world, what’s the most effective way to engage with this process?

As we continue to explore and expand access to these powerful principles, let’s not lose sight of their deeper promise: to help us become more honest, connected, and alive. Whether in-person, online, or somewhere in between, the invitation remains the same—a spiritual awakening that transforms how we live, love, and serve.


FAQs

Q: Where are the 12 Steps in the AA book?

A: The 12 Steps are outlined in Chapter 5, titled “How It Works,” in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. You can find them on page 59 in most editions.

Q: What are the 12 principles of recovery in AA?

A: Each of the 12 Steps corresponds to a spiritual principle, such as honesty, hope, faith, courage, integrity, willingness, humility, and service. These principles guide personal growth and recovery.

Q: Where can I find the 12 Steps?

A: You can find the 12 Steps on the official AA website,4 in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, and in most AA meeting materials.

Q: What are the 12 Promises of AA?

A: The Twelve Promises describe the emotional and spiritual benefits that come from working the Steps. They include feelings of peace, freedom, and fearlessness, and are found in Chapter 6 of the Big Book.

Q: What are the 12 Steps of AA?

A: The 12 Steps are a set of principles designed to help individuals overcome addiction by fostering honesty, accountability, and connection with a Higher Power. They include admitting powerlessness, taking moral inventory, making amends, and helping others.

Q: Are there alternatives to the Twelve Steps and AA?

A: Yes. Alternatives include SMART Recovery, Refuge Recovery, LifeRing Secular Recovery, and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)-based programs. Each offers different approaches to sobriety and self-improvement.

Q: Does Alcoholics Anonymous work?

A: Studies show that participation in AA and 12-Step programs can significantly support long-term sobriety and emotional healing, especially when combined with professional treatment and ongoing support.

Q: What are the benefits of a 12-Step program?

Benefits include increased self-awareness, stronger coping skills, spiritual growth, reduced isolation, and lasting recovery through mutual support and service.

Q: How do the 12 Steps work and why?

A: The 12 Steps work by fostering honesty, accountability, and spiritual growth. They help people identify destructive patterns, make amends, and build meaningful connections, which promotes lasting change.

Q: How can I start working the 12 Steps of AA?

A: Start by reading the Big Book, attending AA meetings, and finding a sponsor who has experience with the Steps. Many people begin their journey in a treatment center or with the support of a recovery program.

Q: How can the 12 Steps help with addiction recovery?

A: The Steps provide structure, community, and spiritual guidance, helping individuals move through denial, heal past wounds, and build a new way of life rooted in purpose and service.

Honesty’s 8 Lessons to Thrive in Opioid Addiction Recovery

Honesty’s life before finding recovery from a debilitating opioid use disorder, specifically heroin, was a relentless cycle of physical agony from daily withdrawal, deeply fractured bonds with loved ones, and a desperate descent into criminal activity driven by the insatiable need for drugs. The weight of self-hatred was crushing, and the world around her felt hostile. In those dark days, the desire for oblivion was a constant companion. This is the story of Honesty’s journey and the profound lessons that illuminated her path to recovery.

1. A Glimmer of Hope and the Unexpected Lifeline

Honesty’s final attempt at seeking help felt like precisely that – her last chance. Entering the doors of the Chen Foundation, her initial intention was solely to endure the acute discomfort of detoxification and then leave. However, fate intervened, or perhaps it was an unconscious recognition of a deeper need, leading her to stay in their female recovery house for five transformative months.

Within those walls, she encountered an unexpected source of strength: the profound “peer-to-peer connection” forged with other women who intimately understood the torment of addiction. Sharing their experiences created a bond that became an essential lifeline.

Explore treatment options for heroin and opioid use disorder.

2. Finding Her Footing and the Enduring Power of Connection

In the initial, fragile days of recovery, Honesty’s primary focus was a primal one: navigating each day without succumbing to the debilitating grip of withdrawal. This immediate need for physical relief was what initially tethered her to the recovery process.

However, it was the burgeoning relationships with fellow travelers on this path – both women and men who carried the weight of shared lived experiences with addiction – that truly solidified her commitment. These connections offered understanding, validation, and a sense of not being alone in a seemingly insurmountable struggle.

3. The Gift of Giving Back and Discovering Purpose

As Honesty progressed in her recovery, a compelling inner prompting arose – the desire to extend the support she had received to others still navigating the challenging early stages. This innate drive to help led her to work for the very Recovery Community Organization (RCO) that had played such a pivotal role in her own healing. Through the act of service, by offering a hand to those still reaching, she began to uncover a deeper sense of purpose and the “pretty awesome” person she was capable of becoming.

4. The Profound Inner Journey: Cultivating Self-Love and Embracing Healing

Sustaining recovery has been an intricate process for Honesty, with the cornerstone being the cultivation of self-love. This journey inward has demanded that she learn to extend compassion and forgiveness towards herself, to confront and heal the deep-seated wounds of past traumas, and to acknowledge the profound pain she inflicted on her daughter, her family, and the broader community. It has been about a fundamental rediscovery, about “really digging into the inner core of the human being that [she] was meant to be on this planet,” stripping away the layers of addiction to reveal her authentic self.

5. Creating a Supportive Environment and Nurturing the Soul Through Daily Rituals

Maintaining her recovery necessitates a conscious effort for Honesty to cultivate a supportive and nurturing environment. This includes actively surrounding herself with “amazing women in recovery” who offer understanding and encouragement, immersing herself in the wisdom found in “lots of books, lots of podcasts, lots of step work,” and intentionally incorporating daily rituals that nourish her soul.

Practices such as meditation, the reflective act of journaling, and consistent engagement in self-care activities are not mere habits; they are vital threads in the tapestry of her ongoing commitment to “continually working on her soul.”

6. A Life Transformed and the Immeasurable Value of Her Present

Looking back nearly 18 years, the life Honesty now inhabits as a mother, a wife, the CEO of a nonprofit organization, and an author is almost beyond the realm of what her addicted self could have conceived. The crushing weight of self-loathing has been replaced by a genuine and growing sense of self-acceptance and love. The life she has painstakingly built, interwoven with the love of her husband, the support of her family, and the camaraderie of incredible individuals, is now immeasurably precious.

The insidious pull of drug use has faded, not merely as a conscious choice, but because the vibrant and fulfilling life she now lives far outweighs any fleeting illusion it once offered. “I value this one life that I have and it rocks. It completely rocks.”

7. The Imperative of Perseverance: Holding Onto Hope and Taking Action

For anyone currently grappling with the agonizing realities of active addiction or navigating the often-turbulent waters of early recovery, Honesty’s most fundamental piece of advice is this: “just hold on, never give up on yourself.” Even in the darkest moments when self-loathing feels all-consuming, it is absolutely crucial to cling to the inherent worth that resides within you and to persistently explore different pathways to recovery. “For sure don’t give up on yourself. Just keep trying, you know, and you are loved no matter what.”

8. Embracing the Fear of the Unknown and Exploring Diverse Paths to Healing

The apprehension and fear associated with embarking on the journey of recovery are entirely understandable. Honesty’s own path was marked by numerous attempts, including multiple detoxifications, trials with various medications, explorations of faith-based approaches, and engagement with 12-Step programs and traditional therapy, before she discovered the specific combination that resonated with her: the structure of a 12-step program coupled with the unwavering support of the recovery community, particularly within a peer-run RCO.

However, it is vital to remember that “that doesn’t have to be your story.” The key is to take that initial step, to “just try something…on a day-to-day basis.” Explore the diverse landscape of recovery options, whether it be 12-Step fellowships, SMART Recovery, harm reduction strategies, or other modalities, until you find the path that aligns with your individual needs and resonates with your inner self.

Honesty’s journey from the abyss of opioid addiction to a life brimming with purpose, profound love, and genuine self-acceptance has been a challenging yet ultimately transformative odyssey. It stands as a testament to the indomitable power of human perseverance, the vital importance of community and peer support, and the unwavering belief in one’s own inherent potential for profound healing and lasting recovery. Recovery is not a distant dream; it is an attainable reality, and you are never truly alone on this path.

Wes’s 7 Steps Towards Hope and Joy in Addiction Recovery

The journey of addiction recovery can feel isolating, filled with shame and guilt, especially in its initial stages. If you’re navigating the turbulent waters of substance use or mental health challenges, you might find yourself asking, “Why should I listen to yet another story?”

In a recent episode of the Giving Voice to Addiction Podcast by Recovery.com, Wes, a man in long-term recovery, offered a compelling answer: “Because I have something to share.” His candid account illuminates the arduous path from the depths of addiction to a life brimming with gratitude, humility, and, most importantly, hope and joy.

This article delves into Wes’s powerful narrative, extracting key insights and expanding on the crucial elements of finding recovery. It’s a testament to the fact that even in the darkest of times, a life worth living is attainable.

1. Recognizing the Descent: When Casual Use Turns Problematic

For many, the slide into problematic substance use isn’t a sudden plunge but a gradual erosion of control. Wes described his early experiences with alcohol as normalized within his family culture. However, the transition from casual drinking to a severe alcohol use disorder was marked by pivotal “light switch moments,” particularly the loss of his father and a confluence of stressful life events, including buying a business and the birth of his twins.

“There’s definitely a couple of like, light switches. Light switch moments or moments where I can point to and say, ah, this was some gas on a fire here,” Wes reflected. This highlights how significant life stressors can act as catalysts for escalating substance use as a maladaptive coping mechanism.

It’s crucial to recognize these turning points in your own life. Were there specific events or periods of heightened stress that coincided with an increase in your substance use? Identifying these triggers can be the first step towards understanding the roots of the problem.

2. The Illusion of Control: Secretive Use and Denial

One of the insidious aspects of developing a substance use disorder is the tendency towards secrecy and denial. Wes admitted to being a “very closeted sort of a drinker,” concealing his escalating consumption from his wife and colleagues. He would drink heavily in his car after work, masking his intake by using non-descript containers.

This behavior is often driven by a combination of shame and a desire to maintain a semblance of normalcy. However, as Wes pointed out, certain behavioral changes can be red flags for loved ones: “Eventually some mood changes…meaning anger…not being myself.” These shifts in personality and emotional regulation can be subtle at first but often become more pronounced as the addiction deepens.

If you find yourself going to great lengths to hide your substance use or experiencing significant mood swings, it’s a strong indicator that your relationship with the substance has become unhealthy.

3. The Futility of Willpower Alone: Addiction’s Grip

The point at which willpower alone is insufficient to break free from addiction is a critical realization. Wes recounted a two-year period of sobriety achieved through “white-knuckling it,” only to relapse because he lacked sustainable recovery tools and support.

“Eventually, I realized that, but I was at a point where I couldn’t stop. The addiction that had just taken hold and that chemical dependency…was more than I could…overcome by just willpower,” he explained. This underscores the neurobiological changes that occur with prolonged substance use, leading to cravings and dependence that require more than sheer determination to overcome.

If you’ve repeatedly tried to stop using substances on your own and found yourself unable to maintain sobriety, it’s a sign that professional help and a structured recovery program are necessary.

Explore alcohol addiction treatment options.

4. The False Promise of Moderation: A Common Pitfall

Many individuals struggling with substance use attempt to regain control by moderating their consumption. Wes shared his experience with this common pitfall: “One of the first things we will reach for is, is moderation…Alright. I can, I can cut back, right? I can do this. And…I have yet to meet any of my coachees or mentees um, myself, I have yet to meet somebody that can do that.”

While moderation may be a viable option for some individuals who do not have a substance use disorder, for those with a history of addiction, it often proves to be an unsustainable and ultimately triggering path. Recognizing this personal limitation, as Wes did, is a crucial step towards accepting the need for complete abstinence.

5. The Ripple Effect: Damaged Relationships

Addiction rarely exists in a vacuum; it profoundly impacts the individual’s relationships with family, friends, and colleagues. Wes poignantly described the deterioration of his relationships, including his long-term marriage and his connection with his children. His employees even had to intervene due to his drinking at work.

“My wife of 20 years asked me to leave the house…Walking away from, you know, a marriage of 20 years and four children was pretty hard, you know? So it affected the relationships pretty significantly,” he shared. The consequences of addiction can be devastating, leading to loss of trust, emotional distance, and fractured bonds.

Repairing these relationships is a vital part of the recovery process, requiring vulnerability, honesty, and time. Seeking family therapy or support groups can be instrumental in this healing journey.

6. The Power of Accountability and Readiness

Wes’s turning point came with the stark reality of potentially losing custody of his children. This external accountability, in the form of a monitoring device and regular testing, proved to be a significant catalyst for his sustained sobriety.

“That right there was like, that was a big light switch for me. And what I call that is accountability…I didn’t have a huge accountability piece in my early recovery…And that piece was instrumental for me,” he explained. While external accountability can be crucial, it must also coincide with an internal readiness for change. As Wes noted, “I think it also came at a point when I was ready.”

Finding sources of accountability, whether through support groups, sponsors, or structured monitoring, can significantly strengthen your commitment to recovery. However, this external support is most effective when coupled with a genuine desire for change.

7. Embracing Joy: Life Beyond Sobriety

The ultimate goal of recovery extends far beyond simply abstaining from substances. It’s about rediscovering a life filled with purpose, connection, and joy. Wes beautifully articulated this distinction: “I feel like in recovery you’re joyful…I’m fricking sober. Like, yeah, this, this is good.”

This sentiment echoes the understanding that true recovery involves a holistic transformation, addressing not only the physical dependence but also the underlying emotional and psychological factors that contributed to the addiction. It’s about building a fulfilling life where substances no longer hold power.

As Caroline Beidler aptly summarized, “The recovery journey and getting well in recovery isn’t just about stopping our substance use…It’s about discovering this new life this life of joy and purpose and hope.”

Finding Your Punchline: Comedian Andrew Barr’s 10 Insights on Addiction and Recovery

In the world of comedy, timing is everything. But what happens when life throws you a curveball that’s no laughing matter? On a recent episode of Recovery Cast, hosts Brittani Baynard and Tom Farley sat down with the incredibly funny Andrew Barr, a Canadian stand-up comedian, to explore his journey through addiction and into recovery.

His story, filled with sharp wit and raw honesty, offers profound insights into the insidious nature of substance use, the pivotal moments that lead to change, and the challenging yet rewarding path to sobriety. Get ready for an unexpected and deeply human conversation that goes beyond the punchlines.

1. The Gradual Descent: Understanding the Progression of Addiction

Andrew’s experience mirrors the reality for many struggling with substance use: it rarely begins with a dramatic plunge. For him, heavy drinking started around the same time he began his comedy career at 18, a seemingly natural accompaniment to the bar scene. However, this casual drinking gradually escalated, eventually leading to the use of MDMA, psychedelics, and, by his early twenties, cocaine. This slow and steady increase is a hallmark of addiction, making it difficult for individuals to recognize the danger until it’s deeply entrenched.

Yeah, I think it’s just the nature of the disease…They call it a progressive disease. It gets worse over time and it changes you ever so slowly, which I think is kind of its insidious nature. Like the change happens so slowly that you feel the same day to day, but you are just changing a little bit and a little bit and a little bit and it doesn’t seem like much.

This gradual shift can be attributed to several factors. The body develops tolerance, requiring more of the substance to achieve the same effect. Psychologically, reliance on substances as a coping mechanism strengthens over time. Furthermore, as Andrew points out, the environment can play a significant role, especially in professions where substance use is normalized or even encouraged.

2. Numbing the Pain: Addiction as a Maladaptive Coping Mechanism

For Andrew, like many others, substances became a way to manage or, as he aptly put it, “murder” emotions. The comedy world, while offering an outlet for expression, can also be high-pressure and emotionally taxing. Alcohol and drugs provided a temporary escape from underlying feelings, creating a dangerous cycle of avoidance.

And yeah, I think they’re good at managing emotions or just straight up murdering them. Yes. Just numbing them out completely so that you don’t have to deal with them at all.

While substances offer immediate relief, they ultimately hinder the development of healthy coping skills. Instead of addressing the root causes of emotional distress, individuals become increasingly reliant on external substances, leading to a deterioration of mental health and overall well-being. Learning healthy coping mechanisms for stress, anxiety, and other difficult emotions is a crucial aspect of long-term recovery.

3. The Influence of Environment and Normative Behavior

The environment in which an individual operates can significantly impact their substance use. For Andrew, the comedy scene, often centered around bars and late-night shows, created a culture where drinking was the norm. This made it easier to rationalize his own increasing consumption, as his behavior seemed to align with those around him.

Yeah, it also combined with if that’s what everyone’s doing, if that’s the normative behavior, you know, the fact that you might be the worst, yeah, doesn’t resonate with you because, but this is what everyone’s doing on this spectrum of people, but everyone’s doing like you’re going too far. You’re like, I’m doing what you’re doing.

This phenomenon highlights the power of social norms and peer influence on substance use. When problematic behavior is normalized within a group, it can be challenging for individuals to recognize the need for change.

4. Hitting Rock Bottom: The Turning Point

For Andrew, the turning point wasn’t a singular dramatic event but rather a series of interventions by concerned friends. These interventions, both “soft” and “hard,” served as a wake-up call, forcing him to confront the reality of his escalating substance use and its impact on his life and career.

I was intervened upon, I got sat down twice and I saw neither of them coming, which to this day annoys me.

These interventions, while uncomfortable and stressful for everyone involved, ultimately provided the necessary catalyst for Andrew to consider seeking help. Recognizing the concern and pain of loved ones can be a powerful motivator for change in individuals struggling with addiction.

5. The Fork in the Road: Choosing Treatment

Faced with the stark reality presented by his friends, Andrew agreed to consider rehab. However, the initial shock of the cost – a staggering $25,000 – triggered an immediate resistance. This reaction highlights a significant barrier to treatment for many individuals: the financial burden.

I was like, okay, you know, I guess like I can go to rehab. Immediately my brain is like, okay, we’re not doing that. I’ll figure out a cheaper way. I’m just like, where do you think $25,000 is coming from? And then they’re like, well, we talked to your parents, and I was like, you talked to my parents!?

The involvement of his parents and their willingness to help ultimately paved the way for Andrew to access treatment. This underscores the crucial role that family support can play in the recovery process. Exploring different treatment options and understanding the associated costs is an important step for individuals seeking help.

Explore centers treating cocaine and alcohol addiction.

6. Navigating the World of Rehab: Finding the Right Fit

Andrew’s experience of researching rehab facilities highlights the diverse range of options available, from luxurious centers with amenities like equine therapy to more basic, bare-bones programs.

Ultimately, Andrew and his family opted for a more affordable program, which, despite its lack of extravagant amenities, provided the essential support and guidance he needed. His positive experience emphasizes that the quality of staff and the individual’s commitment to recovery are often more critical than the fanciness of the facility.

7. The Science of Sobriety: Rewiring the Brain

During his time in rehab, Andrew gained valuable insights into the neurological impact of his substance use. He learned about the potential formation of “neuro links” between alcohol and cocaine, where the consumption of one triggers cravings for the other. This understanding provided a scientific basis for the need to abstain from alcohol, at least in the initial stages of recovery.

One thing they explained to me in rehab… basically I think when you use alcohol and cocaine together frequently over a long period of time, it forms like a neural link in your brain. Or anytime you have alcohol, you will also crave cocaine.

Furthermore, the concept of drugs and alcohol as “mind-altering substances” took on a deeper meaning. Andrew realized that prolonged and consistent substance use literally changes the brain, leading to a disconnect from one’s authentic self. This realization was a powerful motivator for him to embrace sobriety and reclaim his true identity.

8. Embracing Feelings: Beyond Humor as a Coping Mechanism

For Andrew, humor had long served as a primary coping mechanism, a way to navigate and often deflect difficult emotions. Sobriety meant confronting feelings he had long suppressed, a process that was initially challenging and unfamiliar.

Learning to identify, understand, and process emotions in a healthy way is a crucial aspect of emotional regulation in recovery. Therapy, support groups, and mindfulness practices can help individuals develop these essential skills.

9. Facing Fear and Vulnerability in Sobriety

One of the significant emotions Andrew had masked with humor and substances was fear. Sobriety stripped away these defenses, forcing him to confront underlying anxieties, including the fear of not fulfilling his potential.

What’s very comfortable about drinking and using drugs is it’s also an excuse for not fulfilling your full potential…Now I have no reason not to be achieving, which is super scary.

This vulnerability, while initially uncomfortable, ultimately opened the door to genuine self-discovery and growth. Facing fears without the crutch of substances allows individuals to build resilience and develop a stronger sense of self-efficacy.

10. Returning to the Stage: Performing Sober

For a comedian whose career was intertwined with the bar scene, the prospect of performing sober was daunting. Andrew had rarely, if ever, taken the stage without at least a couple of drinks. He worried about his ability to be funny without the perceived “booze muse” and the judgment of his peers.

The idea of performing sober was super stressful. I don’t know if I had ever really done it since high school. Like I always had at least one or two beers in me. And the thing is, as I was, especially for a long time, I was reasonably functional as an addict. Like my career was progressing. I was writing good jokes. Things weren’t going badly.

His decision to be open about his sobriety with his colleagues and the supportive response he received created a safety net and reinforced his commitment to recovery. He soon discovered that his comedic talent wasn’t dependent on substances; in fact, he felt even better and funnier sober.

I feel better on stage than I ever have. Some of the funniest writing that I’ve done, if not the funniest writing has happened since then.

Andrew Barr’s story is a testament to the fact that recovery is possible, even amidst the challenges and temptations of a demanding career. His willingness to share his journey with humor and vulnerability offers hope and valuable insights for anyone struggling with addiction or supporting a loved one through the process. Remember, you are not alone, and healing often begins with sharing your story.

Finding Your Way Back: Coda’s 8 Steps for Healing Depression and Anxiety

For anyone grappling with the heavy weight of depression and anxiety, the path to recovery can feel shrouded in mist, the first step an insurmountable climb. It’s a journey often marked by isolation, a sense of being trapped within oneself, and the daunting prospect of facing the outside world. Coda knows this terrain intimately.

In his candid account, Coda shares his personal battle with depression and anxiety, offering a beacon of hope and practical insights for those seeking their own path toward healing. His story underscores a powerful truth: recovery is possible, and it begins with taking that first brave step.

1. Recognizing the Depths of Isolation

Before embarking on his recovery journey, Coda found himself ensnared in the suffocating grip of isolation. “Before I started my recovery journey, I was in bed all day. I didn’t hang out with anybody. I didn’t talk to anybody. I was completely isolating myself because the thought of going outside was just so terrifying to me.” This profound isolation manifested physically, leading to bed sores from prolonged periods in bed and significant weight loss due to a lack of appetite.

This paints a stark picture of how deeply mental health struggles can impact not only our emotional state but also our physical well-being. The fear of the outside world, amplified by external circumstances like the COVID-19 pandemic, solidified a belief that retreating was the only safe option. This highlights how external events can sometimes exacerbate underlying anxieties and depressive tendencies.

2. The Wake-Up Call: Physical Manifestations

The turning point for Coda came with a stark realization of the physical toll his condition was taking. “I noticed it was time to make a change or get some help when I got up one day to shower after being in bed for two weeks And I noticed how skinny my face got. And I could see all of my bones through my body. I just didn’t look like myself.”

This moment of confronting his physical deterioration served as a powerful catalyst for change. Recognizing the tangible impact of his mental state provided the necessary impetus to seek help. This emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and acknowledging when our struggles begin to manifest physically.

3. The Power of External Support

While the journey of recovery is ultimately personal, the support of others can be instrumental. Coda credits his guidance counselor for helping him recognize the academic consequences of his isolation. “I was also falling very far behind in school, and I had a great guidance counselor who helped me realize, hey, if you don’t get up and do something about this, you’re gonna have to repeat your sophomore year of high school.”

This highlights the crucial role that supportive individuals can play in prompting us towards seeking help. Sometimes, an external perspective can provide the clarity needed to acknowledge the severity of the situation and motivate action.

4. Embracing Professional Guidance: The Role of Therapy

One of the most significant steps Coda took was seeking professional help. “One big thing I did to help set me up on the path to recovery, get in touch with a therapist. It’s always nice just to have somebody that you can vent to and give advice unjudged.” Therapy provides a safe and confidential space to explore difficult emotions and develop coping mechanisms.

Coda emphasizes the importance of having an unbiased listener, especially when feelings of shame or the fear of judgment prevent open communication with loved ones. The therapeutic relationship can offer validation and guidance without the perceived biases that might exist in personal relationships.

5. The Power of Small Beginnings

Overcoming the inertia of depression and anxiety often requires starting with small, manageable steps. Coda shares a simple yet effective strategy: “Just getting up lighting a candle, there were days where I would just sit in bed constantly and never move. And simply getting up and taking a shower to start your day. It helps kind of wake your body up and get you ready for things that you might not have been doing before. It kind of tricks your brain into being like, okay, we’re in go mode now.”

These small acts of self-care can create a ripple effect, gradually building momentum towards more significant changes. The act of showering, lighting a candle, or any small positive action can disrupt negative patterns and signal to the brain that change is possible.

6. You Are Not a Burden: Breaking Stigma

A common hurdle for individuals struggling with mental health is the feeling that their problems are insignificant or that they are burdening others. Coda articulates this struggle: “I was embarrassed to tell people. Oh, you know, I feel like nobody’s there for me, even though I had all these friends and all of these family members who would throw themselves in front of a train for me, and it made me feel like my problems were less significant than others. And that’s just not true because if these problems are affecting you in this way, they’re just as important as anybody else’s.”

This is a powerful reminder that everyone’s struggles are valid, regardless of how they might compare to others’ experiences. Acknowledging the legitimacy of one’s own pain is a crucial step towards healing. “One big thing that I learned, that helped me stay on the path to recovery is it’s okay to ask for help. There’s a lot of stigma around mental health and how everybody’s going through the same thing, so why should you feel this way? But that also opens up a new possibility that, you know, anybody could be going through what you’re going through. That’s why we need to talk about it.”

The fear of judgment and the misconception that one is alone in their struggles often prevent individuals from seeking the support they need. Openly discussing mental health can create a more understanding and supportive environment, encouraging others to seek help without shame.

7. The Empowering Truth: You Are Your Own Savior

Coda shares a powerful mantra that guides his continued recovery: “One major, major piece of advice I have, uh, that I currently live by is that no one’s coming to save you but you. Um, and what that means is no one’s gonna come and get you outta bed every day. No one’s gonna make you take a shower. No one’s gonna make you do things that make you feel happy. It’s all up to you to do those things.”

This emphasizes the importance of self-reliance and internal motivation in maintaining recovery. While external support is valuable, the sustained effort and commitment to one’s well-being ultimately come from within.

8. The Promise of a Brighter Future Through Help

For those hesitant about seeking help, Coda offers an encouraging perspective: “One thing I would say to someone on the fence about considering getting help is your life will turn around exponentially. You’ll start experiencing things that you haven’t experienced in a very long time.” He reiterates the importance of recognizing that one is not alone and that resources are available. Choosing to seek help is an investment in a better future, breaking free from the cycle of suffering and opening oneself up to new possibilities and experiences.

Coda’s story is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the possibility of finding light even in the darkest of times. His experiences offer valuable lessons for anyone navigating the challenges of depression and anxiety, reminding us that recovery is a journey of self-discovery, empowerment, and the courage to seek help and embrace change.