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Christy’s Story: I Quit a Toxic Relationship with Alcohol

By Christy Osborne, Senior Certified Sobriety Coach, Author of Love Life Sober, A 40 Day Alcohol Fast, Co-Host and Founder of “But Jesus Drank Wine, and Other Stories That Kept Us Stuck” – a podcast and community.

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To the outside world, it appeared I had it all—a loving husband, two children, a popular blog, and even a part-time role as a royal commentator on Sky News. As an American living in London, I often posted glossy photos of myself with a glass of rosé in hand. But behind the scenes, my reality was far from picture-perfect.

I was exhausted. Every evening, I drank wine—sometimes two glasses, sometimes more. I woke up most mornings nursing a hangover, yet no one told me I had a problem. Everywhere I looked, women my age were doing the same—drinking as a treat, to relax, to reward themselves, to have fun, and to connect with partners and friends. Alcohol everywhere was totally normalized.

One morning in March 2020, I woke up with a particularly awful hangover. As I scrolled through my Instagram feed, my life felt increasingly inauthentic. Outwardly, I appeared happy, but inwardly, joy only seemed accessible when alcohol was involved. My family life looked perfect, but my relationship with my husband was strained, and alcohol was becoming a priority over my children. I often chose the sofa and a glass of wine over reading them a bedtime story.

I knew something had to change. But the thought of giving up alcohol terrified me. I couldn’t imagine socializing, going on holiday, attending a party, or even unwinding without a drink. 

I decided to conduct an experiment—to remove alcohol from my life and see what happened. Then, the pandemic hit, and we were literally, locked inside.

Here’s what I learned from my first 40 days of sobriety:

Week 1: The Awakening

The first step was becoming aware that I needed a break. I didn’t declare that I’d never drink again. I simply wanted to see if life would feel better without alcohol.

The first week was tough. Intense cravings hit, but I managed them by playing the tape forward—a tactic I now use with my coaching clients. I asked myself, “What does the full picture look like if I have that glass?”

The tape always ended the same way: one glass would lead to two, then to finishing the bottle. I’d wake up at 3 AM with a pounding headache and spend the next day exhausted. By evening, I’d reach for another drink to undo the hangover, perpetuating a vicious cycle. Recognizing this loop helped me resist.

That first week, my sleep was erratic, but I held on to the hope that good-quality sleep would come.

Fun fact: After just one week without alcohol, your liver begins to heal, and you reduce your risk of cancer. I was shocked to learn that alcohol is a class 1 carcinogen linked to seven types of cancer, including breast cancer.

Week 2: Weathering the Storm

By the second week, I started getting proper sleep. I learned that while alcohol may knock us out, it disrupts the REM sleep our bodies need. Without it, I was finally sleeping through the night without waking up for water or bathroom breaks. I began waking up with more energy.

However, my body was still detoxing. I experienced headaches and felt achy, but I reminded myself that this was part of the healing process. I took extra care of myself—early nights, naps, and mocktails to curb cravings.

Fun fact: After two weeks, your glucose levels stabilize, your cholesterol can drop by 5%, and your cortisol and adrenaline levels begin to balance.

Week 3: Transitioning Towards Tranquility

One reason I drank was to manage stress and anxiety. Imagine my surprise when I learned that alcohol actually raises cortisol and adrenaline, making life more stressful. I realized I had been drinking to cope with the very problems alcohol was creating.

By week three, I felt calmer. Tasks like folding laundry or clearing my inbox no longer felt overwhelming. My energy increased, and my sleep became more consistent. Each day brought new clarity.

Fun fact: Three weeks without alcohol can significantly improve gut health and nutrient absorption. A healthier gut means better mood regulation, thanks to improved serotonin production.

Week 4: Reaping Physical and Mental Benefits

By the fourth week, the changes were undeniable. I was sleeping soundly every night, and my skin looked noticeably better. Alcohol dehydrates the skin and depletes vitamin A, which is essential for collagen production. Without it, my skin regained its glow.

More importantly, my sense of joy returned. Alcohol suppresses the brain’s ability to produce dopamine and serotonin naturally, which is why regular drinkers often need alcohol to feel happiness. Without it, my mood improved steadily.

Fun fact: After four weeks without alcohol, liver fat can decrease by 20%, hydration levels improve, and your resting heart rate lowers.

If you’re curious about trying a 40-day break from alcohol yourself, my book, Love Life Sober: A 40 Day Alcohol Fast to Rediscover Your Joy, Improve Your Health, and Renew Your Mind, offers daily guidance, practical tips, and faith-based encouragement to support your journey.

Weeks 5 & 6: Embracing the New Normal

By weeks five and six, I had found my stride. I didn’t declare that I’d never drink again; I simply told myself, “I’m not drinking today because I feel better without it.”

My cravings dissipated as I experienced the benefits of sobriety. I realized that the reasons I used to drink were myths. It didn’t help me sleep. It wasn’t a real treat, given how awful I felt afterward. And it wasn’t even that fun anymore when I considered the headaches and hangxiety.

Fun fact: By six weeks, you’ve saved thousands of calories and potentially hundreds of pounds. Your stomach lining begins to heal, and cholesterol levels continue to drop.

1,765 Days Later: A Life Transformed

The first 40 days were hard, but they were worth it. At the time of writing this, I haven’t had a drink in 1,800 days. I’ve saved £35,340 and countless hours of hangover-induced misery.

Today, I run a successful life coaching practice helping women take a supported break from alcohol. My approach isn’t about labels or declarations. You don’t have to call yourself an alcoholic or say you have a problem. You can simply see if life feels better without alcohol and decide from there.

If you want structured support, my book Love Life Sober is a great place to start. It’s available on Amazon and at major bookstores. You’ll find it packed with personal insights, neuroscience-backed facts, and encouragement to help you find freedom from alcohol.

If I can do it, you can too.

To learn more about 1:1 or group coaching with me, follow me on Instagram @LoveLifeSoberwithChristy or visit my website, lovelifesober.co.uk.

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Would you like to share your recovery story with Recovery.com? Contact Recovery.com Contributor, Caroline Beidler, today at carolinebeidler@gmail.com to learn more!

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Yoga for Depression: Rena Shoshana Forester

My Background, Personal and Professional 

I’m Rena Shoshana Forester. A Teacher, Healer, & Mentor. My healing and recovery journey includes Depression, disordered eating, Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), divorce, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Today we’re going to focus on depression.

I watched my Grandma suffer from depression for my entire childhood and find no relief in the medication she regularly took. So when I understood that I was suffering from depression, I did not believe taking antidepressants would magically make me feel better, certainly not sustainably.

One of the reasons that I became a Yoga teacher is because I understood that Yoga is a scientific method that has the potential for profound healing, including relief from depression.

The Issue or Challenge at Hand: Learning to Turn Towards Discomfort

First and foremost, it’s important for me to validate any tools and resources that you, your clients, or your family members may use to cope with depression. My intent with this piece is just to make it clear that Yoga can be a part of one’s toolbox for coping with and healing from depression.

Far too many people turn away from discomfort when it arises. I used to do the same. I’ve learned that discomfort generally arises to teach us something, and leaves once we’ve learned the corresponding lesson. In order to go through this learning process, one must first develop the capacity for holding discomfort; in other words: one must learn to turn towards discomfort rather than turning away from it.

Oftentimes, depression arises as an indicator that certain needs are not being met. Turning towards depression invites an opportunity for listening to what the body is asking for and finding ways to sustainably meet the need.

My Experience Tackling Depression

Before I was a Yoga teacher, I was a school teacher. I saw students, colleagues, parents of students, and myself experience depression on a regular basis. In my personal life, I saw multiple family members—not only my Grandma who I previously mentioned—suffer from depression. I basically saw people do one of two things when depression surfaced: either take medication as a way to carry on with day-to-day living, or hopelessly accept that their depression as is.

Neither of those options appealed to me.

I initially sought out meditation, in 2015, as a way for coping with my own depression, inspired by my father. I believed this would be a sustainable approach, but was a bit disheartened by the fact that it might take a number of years before I’d see the results of my efforts. Nevertheless, I committed to regular meditation and am glad I stuck it out to reap the benefits.

Before I found Yoga, I was a competitive swimmer; I’ve always found pleasure and relief from regular physical activity. But in 2015 I took a break from swimming and found my way to a Yoga class.

Was it a coincidence or a strike of fate that I found meditation and Yoga in the same year? Who knows. What matters is that I intuitively understood that there was a connection between the two. I kept up with both practices for about a year and a half before being introduced to The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali.

When I first began reading this foundational book on Yogic philosophy, I was blown away that it had taken me over 25 years to access this information. I started to understand that Yogic postures and meditation were two parts of the same system intended to relieve humans from internal sufferings.

I was working as a classroom teacher at the time, yet felt a strong passion to teach the science of Yoga, as opposed to the science of plants, basic math, and other general education topics I was teaching.

Not a year later, I found myself at an Ashram in India deep diving into the science of Yoga, and committing to becoming a certified Yoga teacher.

Now, nearly 7.5 years later, I can confidently say that the entire scientific method of Yoga, which includes meditation, can reduce symptoms of depression, when practiced regularly, in earnest.

Yoga as a Tool for Depression Recovery 

There are a number of specific Yogic postures, exercises, and techniques that supported me in addressing depression, and they may just work for you, too!  

Before I get to that, the way that one relates both to one’s depression and to the practice of Yoga are no less important than the tools themselves. In other words, the “how” is just as important as the “what.” One must first and foremost cultivate acceptance and compassion for one’s experience of depression, and simultaneously have a sincere openness to the potential power of Yoga. This acceptance, compassion, and openness are fundamental, and no relief will come if this subtle yet significant component is skipped.

One more note before we dive into the postures: the postures and exercises that I’ve included in this post are intended to be restorative. While they may be uncomfortable, especially if they are new for you, there should be no pain. The following three warning signs are indicators that you ought to come out of the pose, and take a moment to rest in whatever position is most comfortable for you:

  1. Strained breathing
  2. Sharp pain
  3. Numb tingling

Aside from these three warning signs, all other sensations are welcome, and a part of the process of letting go, in order to make space for fresh and new energy to enter your body.

Now let’s get into some of the specific postures, exercises, and techniques, written in the order that is recommended for practicing.

Balasana – Child’s Pose

Setting up for the pose: Start in a table tip position with your hands on the ground under your shoulders and your knees on the ground under your hips. Then, bring your big toes to touch and open your knees out wide. Draw your pelvis back towards your feet. If you’re able to, let your pelvis rest on your feet. If you need some support, place pillows or folded blankets/towels in the creases of your knees, so that your pelvis can have something to rest on. Extend your arms out in front. Feel free to place pillows or folded blankets anywhere else where you need to bring the ground up to you like under your forehead or below your hands. You may not need support and that’s fine too. Once you’re in the posture, hold for a minimum of 30 seconds, or up to five minutes. When you’re ready to come out, gently walk your hands towards your body and straighten your spine back up towards the sky. Pause for a moment to feel the effects of the posture.

How it supports depression healing: Balasana (Child’s Pose) is a very nurturing posture. Simply by holding the pose, one can access feelings of safety, protection, and nourishment, this alone can relax the mind and offer relief for symptoms of depression. Additionally, nowadays there’s a lot of research proving the connection between our mind and our gut. Improving gut functioning can also reduce symptoms of depression. While people often speak about nutrition as a way to heal the gut, Balasana is another way to improve gut functioning because it compresses the abdominal muscles and offers a sort of massage to the internal organs.

Prassrita Sukhasana – Seated Twist

Setting up for the pose: Start seated in a comfortable posture, which could mean with your knees crossed, or kneeling, or even on a chair. Engage your core by pulling your belly in towards your spine and up towards your chin while simultaneously feeling both sides and the back of your torso elongate up. Check that your shoulders are relaxed, the front of your chest is broad, ears are over your shoulders, and chin is parallel to the ground. On an inhale, once again feel into the length of your torso and spine and then continue feeling into that length as you stretch your arms up to the sky, with the palms facing each other. As you exhale, turn your body towards the right, placing your right hand close to your spine behind you and your left hand on your right knee. Take another inhale and feel the right hand supporting your spine and straightening up just a bit more. On the exhale, twist from your lower belly first, then your middle belly, next your chest, and finally your neck twists last. Once you’re in the posture, hold for a minimum of 30 seconds, or up to five minutes. With every inhale, use the back hand to support the spine in stretching up. With every exhale, use the front hand to twist a little deeper, always starting the twist from the lower belly, working up into the chest, and twisting the neck last. When you feel complete, on an inhale, engage the muscles in your core and twist your body back through the center. As you exhale, twist your body to the left, now bringing the left hand close to the spine behind you and your right hand on your left knee. Continuing on this side just as you did the prior, holding for roughly the same amount of time. Remember to maintain a sense of curiosity for this second side is essentially a whole new posture for the body. When you feel complete, on an inhale, engage the muscles in your core and twist your body back through the center. Take a moment to pause and feel the effects of this posture.

How it supports depression healing: As already mentioned, mental health is deeply connected to gut health. If you think of your body like a house, the spine is the foundation and the inner organs are the respective houses. So by twisting the spine, it gently massages the inner organs from the inside out, sending vital fluids and energy there, and also assisting with detoxing any gunk that needs to be cleaned out. Energetically, I like to think about how when we twist our body, we’re able to twist our perspective. Oftentimes, a person suffering from depression is stubbornly attached to a certain story, so this shift in perspective, which starts in the physical body, can be a beneficial way to bypass the mind.

Supta Baddha Konasana – Reclined Bound Angel Pose

Setting up for the pose: Start lying on your back with the sole of your feet on the ground, knees bent up towards the sky. Take a moment just to feel your body lying down, being held down by gravity. Once your breathing is calm and regulated, let your knees fall out to each side and bring the soles of your feet to touch. You may choose to place supports such as blocks or pillows below your thighs or your knees. Keep your chin centered and tucking in towards your chest. Let your hands come wherever it’s comfortable: either on your thighs, on your torso, or on the ground. Once you’re in the posture, hold for a minimum of 30 seconds, or up to five minutes. When you feel complete, place your hands under your knees and on an inhale gently bring the knees back up towards the sky. As you take a moment to feel the effects of this posture, you may feel your body calling out to move in a certain way. Listen to these callings. For example, you may want to wrap your arms around your knees as you hug them into your chest and rock and roll, or you may want to keep the sole of the feet on the ground as you let your legs sway from side to side like wind-shield wipers.

How it supports depression healing: Supta Baddha Konasana (Reclined Bound Angel Pose) is a hip-opener. Many people tend to unconsciously store emotions in their hips. Interestingly enough, depression itself can sometimes be a “mask” for other emotions lying underneath. So allowing the hips to open in this restorative way invites the release of deep, often unprocessed emotions. Because Yoga is built on the inherent understanding between the mind, body, and emotions, these emotions are released simply by holding the physical posture.

Three-Part Yogic Breathing

Setting up for the practice: If you are already lying on your back after the previous pose, you can continue lying on your back. If you wish to practice this exercise on its own, it can be practiced seated or standing, with the spine erect. It can be helpful to start by bringing one hand to the belly and the other hand to the chest. Then take a cleansing breath: deeply in through the nose and fully out through the mouth. With the next inhale feel the lower belly expand first, then the middle belly expands, and finally the chest rises. Fully fill up the lungs and at the top of the breath exhale through the nose letting the chest fall first, then the middle belly come in, and finally the lower belly come all the way in, pressing towards the spine. One round may be enough for you, or you can repeat, recommended up to five rounds. However, if you feel that five rounds is not enough, feel free to carry on until you feel complete. Once you do feel complete, relax your hands to wherever it’s comfortable, and observe the effects of this exercise as your breath returns to its natural rhythm.

How it supports depression healing: First and foremost, in Yoga, it is understood that if one can gain control of the breath, then one can gain control of the mind. So by simply controlling the breath, one may alleviate symptoms of depression. On a deeper level, Three-Part Yogic Breathing puts extra emphasis on the exhale. This has two specific benefits. The first is that it allows one to let go of old energy that has been pent up in the body, thus creating space for new energy to come in. Second, by pulling the belly in towards the spine while exhaling, one engages the diaphragm. The diaphragm is a muscle located between your lungs and stomach. The diaphragm is connected to the vagus nerve, located in the brain. The vagus nerve is responsible for many things including activating the parasympathetic nervous system, AKA, relaxation. So, simply put, engaging the belly in deep breathing is a simple tool that can actually relax the body.

Closing Thoughts and Envisioning the Future

I’d like to conclude with a little story, hopefully it will provide you with some inspiration.

When I was in the thick of Depression, I found myself wanting to use these tools often: Yogic postures, breathing techniques, among other things. I found myself needing to rely on these tools while walking down the street, sitting on buses, eating, and in other public settings.  

At first, shame stopped me. I thought people might judge me, think I was crazy, or even call the cops for doing arguably strange things in public.

But I found myself shifting my perspective one day while walking down the street in Tel Aviv. On bench after bench, I saw person after person sitting and smoking a cigarette. Something clicked for me as I felt immense compassion for these smokers: they were just like me. These were not just smokers, they were wounded humans, just like myself, suffering from their own mind-stuff, and leaning on whatever tool they had access to in order to find some relief. Unfortunately for them, their most accessible tool was a cigarette.

I had other tools, and thanks to this article (and probably other Recovery.com articles, too!), so do you.

I asked myself, “Why would I feel shame for using my tools for coping and healing in public?” Walking a fine line to not throw shame onto the smokers, I gently acknowledged that if those smokers felt comfortable publicly harming themselves as a way to cope with dis-ease, then I surely could also lean into feeling comfortable publicly healing myself. So I began, and continue to this day, proudly using my Yogic tools in public. 

My intent is never to draw unwanted attention or disturb anyone else, but I have easily been able to find spaces in airports, parks, restaurants, and offices where I could practice my Yogic tools and find the relief I needed, without needing to hind behind the closed doors of a Yoga studio or the privacy of my own home.

This is the world I envision: where all people coping with depression not only have the tools that they need to heal, but the confidence to use those tools wherever and whenever needed.

In life and in support of you,

Rena Shoshana

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Navigating the Tempest: Understanding Binge Drinking in College

As dusk settles on college campuses, a familiar scene unfolds. Throngs of students escape the confines of lecture halls, swapping textbooks for what might seem like harmless revelry. Yet, beneath the veneer of college nightlife lurks a more troubling ritual: binge drinking. This practice, often glamorized as a rite of passage, carries profound implications for health, safety, and academic success.

Binge Drinking in College: Understanding the Risks and Promoting Safer Choices

Binge drinking in college is a pervasive issue that threatens student health, academic performance, and safety. Understanding the risks associated with this behavior is crucial for developing strategies that promote safer choices. Defined as consuming an excessive amount of alcohol in a short period, binge drinking is alarmingly common among college students, often due to social pressures, a desire for acceptance, or as a misguided method for managing stress. 

The consequences can be severe, ranging from immediate risks like accidents and alcohol poisoning to long-term effects such as liver damage and psychological disorders. Addressing this issue requires a multi-faceted approach that includes education on responsible drinking, enhancing campus mental health resources, and fostering an environment where students feel supported in making healthier decisions. By raising awareness and providing practical interventions, colleges can help mitigate the dangers of binge drinking and guide students toward safer, more informed choices.

The High Tide of Binge Drinking

Binge drinking is defined as consuming five or more drinks for men or four or more for women1 in about two hours. However, these numbers are just a starting point for many college students. The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism reports alarming statistics: roughly 2 out of 5 college students admit to binge drinking within the past month.

Why do so many students find themselves caught in the current of excessive drinking? The reasons are as complex as the individuals themselves. Social pressure acts as a powerful undertow, pulling even the most steadfast into its depths. For others, alcohol serves as an anchor, steadying the tumult of stress and anxiety that often accompanies university life.

The Impact: A Ripple Effect

The consequences of binge drinking extend beyond individual health risks, such as injuries, alcohol poisoning, and long-term effects on brain function. Academically, it’s a storm surge that washes away potential. Studies link heavy episodic drinking to lower GPAs, missed classes, and delayed graduations. Socially, it can erode trust, fueling incidents of assault and impaired relationships.

Yet, it’s the hidden ripcurrents of mental health issues that are particularly concerning. Many students who binge drink may be attempting to navigate the murky waters of depression or anxiety, not realizing that alcohol, in reality, may pull them further from shore.

Changing Tides: Strategies for Navigating Safer Waters

Addressing binge drinking in college requires a multifaceted approach beyond mere policy changes and tapping into the heart of campus culture. Here are some strategies that can be implemented:

  1. Education and Awareness: Knowledge is the lighthouse guiding students away from dangerous waters. Comprehensive education about the effects of alcohol, tailored to college students’ realities, can demystify myths and highlight risks.
  1. Building Community: Creating strong, inclusive communities on campus can provide the social fulfillment many seek from alcohol. Clubs, sports, and other group activities can offer social connections without the need for binge drinking.
  1. Mental Health Support: Enhancing access to mental health resources can help address underlying issues that may contribute to binge drinking. Counseling, support groups, and wellness programs can provide lifelines to those struggling.
  2. Peer Intervention Programs: Training students to recognize the signs of alcohol abuse among their peers—and to intervene effectively—can act as a first line of defense against binge drinking behaviors.
  1. Parental Involvement: Engaging parents in discussions about alcohol providing them with strategies to open dialogues with their children, can reinforce healthy behaviors from a trusted source.

A Call to Action

As we chart the course for healthier collegiate environments, it’s crucial that all stakeholders—students, faculty, administrators, and parents—work collaboratively to alter the tide of binge drinking. No matter how small, each step taken is a step towards calmer, safer seas.

While the waters of college life are often turbulent, navigating them does not necessitate succumbing to the undertow of binge drinking. We can guide our students to survive and thrive in these formative years with concerted efforts and communal support.

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10 Signs You Need Anger Management and How to Find Help

Anger serves as a functional human emotion in the right circumstances, however, experiencing this in everyday life is not healthy. Anger can act as an outlet for deeper emotions such as shame, stress, and sadness1, and, when not regulated, strains work, personal life, and overall life satisfaction. Anger is usually rooted in stress, unresolved trauma, mental health conditions, and emotional dysregulation.

Anger management can help you navigate these emotions, leading to less explosive reactions. Addressing your anger can help you feel more fulfilled in all facets of your life, including your own internal world and well-being. If you exhibit some or all of these signs, anger management may be right for you.

1. Mood Swings

Experiencing and expressing extreme emotional highs and lows can be a product of anger. When someone has intense mood swings, they may react disproportionately to minor frustrations, leading to sudden outbursts. 

Frequent outbursts of anger can signal emotional regulation challenges and difficulty identifying and processing deeper feelings like hurt, sadness, or fear. Friends, family, and peers may distance themselves for fear of an unpredictable outburst. 

2. Easily Triggered

When someone is easily triggered, even minor hindrances or seemingly insignificant events can provoke an intense and disproportionately angry reaction. Their heightened sensitivity often reflects unresolved emotional struggles, stress, or trauma, where certain situations act as emotional “triggers” that activate feelings of anger.

Triggers vary by person and can include anything from perceived criticism, unfulfilled expectations, or reminders of past negative experiences. For those with anger issues, these triggers can cause them to quickly lose control, responding impulsively rather than processing the situation calmly. Sometimes, they do not fully understand why certain situations set them off, which can create a cycle of frustration and repeated outbursts. 

3. Short Temper

People with a short temper are quick to anger and react impulsively to situations that can be handled with patience and calmness. For example, someone with a short temper may lash out at a restaurant worker for getting their order wrong or be angry about typical traffic. These quick outbursts can occur over small annoyances due to a low threshold for frustration.

A short temper is often a sign that someone is struggling with underlying emotional regulation difficulties, which could be due to chronic stress, unresolved trauma, or mental health conditions like anxiety, depression, or mood disorders. Lacking the ability to step back and process emotions before reacting leads to a pattern of frustration quickly turning into anger.

4. Frequent Outbursts

Without emotional control, anger results in outbursts, meaning frustration, stress, or emotional distress builds up and releases through sudden, intense reactions that are excessive given the situation.

Many individuals who struggle with anger issues may not have effective coping mechanisms to handle stress, disappointment, and conflict. Instead, they quickly resort to anger as a way of expressing these underlying feelings. These outbursts can also be a response to stress or mental health conditions, where anger becomes the default emotional response. 

5. Blaming Others

Someone with anger issues may blame others for their frustrations or difficulties as a defense mechanism to deflect from guilt, inadequacy, or vulnerability. By shifting the blame, they avoid confronting the underlying issues that contribute to their anger, such as anxiety, insecurity, or emotional pain.

Blaming others can be a way to justify angry outbursts or aggressive behavior, too, as the person feels that their reactions are warranted by someone else’s actions. For example, they might say, “I wouldn’t be so angry if you hadn’t done this,” which shifts the focus away from their out-of-control temper. This habit of blaming others prevents them from developing self-awareness and emotional regulation skills, as they fail to recognize their own role in the situation or their responsibility for managing their emotions.

6. Trouble Calming Down

If someone struggles to calm down after an angry outburst, their anger may not just be an immediate reaction but a sustained emotional state. Being unable to return to a balanced state after anger indicates their body and mind remain in a heightened state of tension or agitation, making it harder to move on from the trigger. This usually stems from a lack of emotional regulation skills or coping mechanisms to de-escalate the intensity of their anger. 

In some cases, the person ruminates on the cause of their anger, mentally replaying the situation and fueling their frustration. Deeper psychological issues, such as trauma and chronic stress, often create a lower threshold for emotional distress (meaning once they become angry, it’s hard to self-soothe). 

7. Verbal or Physical Aggression

When anger escalates to the point of aggression, whether through hurtful words or violent actions, it indicates that the person is overwhelmed by their emotions and cannot express or process them constructively.

Verbal aggression, including yelling, insults, name-calling, threats, and using intimidating language, arises when the person feels emotionally out of control, leading them to lash out in frustration. Although verbal aggression doesn’t cause physical harm, it can be emotionally damaging, causing lasting harm to relationships. Resorting to verbal attacks to express anger shows a need for better communication skills.

When anger leads to physical aggression, such as hitting, pushing, throwing objects, or causing property damage, the person has likely lost control of their emotions entirely, turning to violent behaviors as an outlet. Physical aggression is specifically concerning because it can result in harm to others or oneself, legal consequences, and long-term emotional and psychological damage.

8. Emotional Dysregulation

Emotional dysregulation involves difficulty in managing or controlling intense emotions2, including anger. For someone with anger issues, even minor stressors can trigger an intense and uncontrollable surge of anger, often leading to outbursts or aggressive behavior.

When a person experiences emotional dysregulation, they find it hard to pause, reflect, and respond calmly. Instead, their emotional response to a situation is disproportionate to the actual event. For example, they might become extremely angry over a small comment that wasn’t meant to be a criticism, reacting as if they need to defend against an attack. 

Emotional dysregulation is often associated with underlying conditions such as anxiety, depression3, trauma, or personality disorders. For anger, emotional dysregulation prevents the individual from using healthy coping mechanisms, such as calming themselves down or communicating their feelings constructively. Instead, their emotions rapidly escalate, making it difficult for them to manage the situation on their own.

9. Difficulty Managing Stress

When a person struggles to cope with stress, it can leave them vulnerable to frustration, irritability, and anger. Stress enhances emotional sensitivity and lowers the threshold for triggers, meaning they are more likely to react angrily to situations when stress levels are high.

People with difficulty managing stress often feel overwhelmed by their responsibilities, challenges, or environment, making it hard to stay calm or rational in frustrating situations. Instead of responding to stressors with problem-solving or healthy coping strategies, they lash out or express anger as a way to release the built-up tension. In this context, anger becomes a default reaction to stress because it provides a temporary outlet for emotions that feel unmanageable.

10. Strained Relationships

When someone struggles with anger management, they can lash out at loved ones, friends, or colleagues in moments of frustration or stress, creating a cycle of hurt and mistrust where others feel unsafe and disrespected. In romantic relationships, this constant tension results in arguments, miscommunications, and emotional distancing, as the partner feels they need to protect themselves from the person’s unpredictable and hurtful anger.

For those with anger issues, their emotional reactions can feel justified in the heat of the moment, but the long-term effects can lead to deep resentment and isolation. Partners, friends, or family members might avoid difficult conversations or distance from the relationship to prevent triggering an angry response.

Additionally, in professional environments, anger issues can lead to strained relationships with coworkers. Angry outbursts can result in a lack of respect and career setbacks as colleagues avoid working with the person for fear of conflict.

What Causes Anger Issues?

Anger issues often stem from various underlying emotional, psychological, and environmental factors. Mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can significantly contribute to irritability and anger4. Feeling overwhelmed or frustrated while grappling with these mental health symptoms can cause anger to be an unhealthy emotional release. 

Past trauma and grief are also major contributors, as unresolved trauma and losses can manifest as anger5—acting as a defense mechanism or part of the grieving process. People with PTSD may be easily triggered, leading to angry outbursts when reminded of previous traumatic events.

Chronic stress from work, relationships, or ongoing life challenges can lower emotional tolerance and make it harder to manage anger (without emotional regulation strategies). Substance use, physical health issues, or even lack of sleep can also aggravate these tendencies by impairing impulse control and judgment.

Those with a naturally pessimistic or realist mindset may struggle with anger, too. Seeing situations in black-and-white terms or believing that others’ actions are personally directed at them causes frustration and defensiveness, leading to anger. Low self-esteem or insecurity further fuels anger, often as a defense mechanism to mask vulnerability. In some cases, anger can be a learned behavior from childhood, when anger was the primary form of communication. Understanding these underlying causes is essential for addressing and managing anger in a healthy, constructive way.

Try this guided meditation and visualization to find the root cause of your anger.  

Do I Need Anger Management?

If you came to this article, you may need some guidance. If your anger spirals out of control, there are ways to live happier. You may notice adverse effects on your relationships (especially romantic ones) and work life and decide enough is enough. Fortunately, there are solutions available—through personal growth and professional help. 

A general practitioner can be a good first point of contact when asking for directions. They can perform an initial assessment to evaluate potential care options. You can ask questions like:

  1. Is my anger related to an underlying mental health issue?
  2. ​​Could my anger be associated with any physical health issues?
  3. Are there medications that could help with my anger issues?
  4. How can I better manage stress or anxiety that are contributing to my anger?

They can refer you to specialists and programs that best suit your needs.

Finding Help to Manage Anger

Finding help to manage anger can be an empowering step toward improving emotional well-being, relationships, and overall quality of life. 

Therapy is one of the most effective tools for anger management. A therapist can help you address your anger and co-occurring trauma, grief, or mental health conditions. You can explore different types of therapy, like:

  • Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): This helps you understand the thoughts and behaviors contributing to your anger and teaches coping strategies.
  • Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT): Particularly useful if your anger is related to emotional regulation issues, DBT focuses on mindfulness and distress tolerance.
  • Individual counseling: A therapist can help you identify triggers, develop emotional regulation techniques, and work through past trauma that may fuel anger.
  • Family or couples therapy: If anger affects your relationships, involving loved ones in therapy can improve communication and resolve conflicts.

Joining an anger management support group allows you to share your experiences with others facing similar struggles. These groups provide a sense of community, accountability, and encouragement. Some organizations, such as Mental Health America or Rageaholics Anonymous, offer in-person or online support groups for anger management.

Many anger management apps and online resources provide guidance on the go. Apps like Calm or Headspace offer mindfulness exercises, while others like Quit Anger provide tailored anger control tools.

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Am I Experiencing Autistic Burnout? Know the Signs and Symptoms: Dr. Kiki Fehling

If you’re autistic, you face unique challenges as a neurodivergent person in a society designed for neurotypical people. When you’re forced to navigate these challenges day-in and day-out, you may eventually reach a point when you feel totally overwhelmed and unable to take care of your normal responsibilities. 

This point is “autistic burnout.” Learning more about autistic burnout can help you better understand how to recover if you’re struggling now, and how you can reduce the likelihood of autistic burnout in the future.

What Is Autistic Burnout?

Autistic burnout is a state of intense physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion experienced by autistic people, leading to social withdrawal and reduced functioning1. It often results from prolonged stress, sensory overload, and the effort to mask autistic characteristics in order to fit neurotypical expectations.

“Autistic burnout” is not a medical diagnosis, but it’s a common lived experience that autistic people have long discussed. Luckily, researchers have recently started to validate the topic. While the exact definition is still being explored, it’s clear that autistic burnout is a real (and very painful) phenomenon.

Importantly, autistic people and researchers describe autistic burnout as distinct from both depression and “typical” occupational burnout. For example, one study found that autistic burnout was not associated with whether or not a person was working3. Rather than being limited to sadness or anhedonia, and rather than being limited to overwhelm or resentment at work, autistic burnout is an all-encompassing fatigue and strain. Its distinct nature requires unique strategies to address.

Signs and Symptoms of Autistic Burnout

Although autistic burnout does not yet have “official” diagnostic criteria, there are some symptoms that autistic people and researchers repeatedly identify.

Physical and Mental Exhaustion

First and foremost, autistic burnout is experienced as complete exhaustion4. You may feel chronically physically tired and mentally fatigued, with very limited energy to spend on daily activities. In one research study, an autistic person described autistic burnout as “having all of your internal resources exhausted beyond measure and being left with no clean-up crew.5”

Social Withdrawal

Another common experience in autistic burnout is interpersonal withdrawal.1,4 You may ignore texts and phone calls, decline invitations to see your friends, or avoid conversations at work or school. In order to cope with exhaustion, you may self-isolate and avoid social interactions as much as feasibly possible.

Cognitive Symptoms

Cognitive difficulties are another sign of autistic burnout. You may have trouble concentrating, planning, making decisions, or remembering things. You may even experience intense confusion, dissociation6, or dream-like states. Relatedly, you may struggle with mental health symptoms, like irritability, emotional overwhelm, or emotional numbness. 

Intensified Autistic Experiences

During burnout, autistic people often notice their autistic characteristics intensify. For example, you may be more sensitive to sensory triggers, finding it more difficult to tolerate bright lights, loud noises, aversive smells, or particularly stimulating environments—including things that don’t usually overwhelm you. You may need to stim7 significantly more than usual. You may experience shutdowns or meltdowns8 more easily. 

Causes of Autistic Burnout

At its core, autistic burnout is viewed as a consequence of autistic people living in a world designed for allistic (non-autistic) and neurotypical people. While the exact causes differ from person to person, there are some common risk factors.

Chronic Stress and Lack of Support

Autistic people are likely to struggle with “normal” stressors (e.g., relationship conflicts, deadlines at work or school, health problems, etc) in a variety of ways. For example, most people are stressed by graduating, starting new jobs, moving, or becoming parents. For autistic people who have the autistic trait of thriving with routine and consistent structure, however, these life transitions can be incredibly challenging and precede burnout.

Autistic people often have unique communication styles, or they may struggle to understand allistic nonverbal communication. These differences can lead to more frequent conflict or rejection. Even when conflicts are avoided, autistic people often face repeated, daily social misunderstandings which are stressful and draining.

Notably, most schools, jobs, public spaces, and social events are catered to neurotypical people. Autistic people may need to work harder than others in order to meet occupational or social expectations. Furthermore, autistic people may not notice when they have exceeded their limits, because they are more likely to have alexithymia9 (difficulties recognizing, identifying, and understanding emotions) or difficulties with interoception10 (the ability to recognize and understand internal body sensations).

Sensory Overload

Autistic people usually have sensory sensitivities that make it easier for them to reach sensory overload11 (overwhelm caused by sensory over-stimulation). Many “normal” environments and daily activities require autistic people to be surrounded by noise, bright lights, or crowded spaces. They may not have time or space to regulate or recover after being sensorily overloaded, causing further stress and fatigue.

Prolonged Masking and Lack of Support

Many autistic people regularly engage in masking12, consciously or unconsciously hiding or suppressing their natural autistic traits in order to fit in. For example, they may conceal their sensory sensitivities, change their natural communication style, or socialize in ways that they hate. This masking is inherently draining, contributing to the fatigue of meeting neurotypical expectations.

Even when autistic people don’t mask and decide to assert their needs to others, they’re often invalidated. Neurotypical people may dismiss their fatigue or difficulties as “normal,” or they may not be able to change the autistic person’s environment or responsibilities. Over time, autistic people can burn out because they do not receive the accommodations they need to reduce or recuperate from fatigue.

How Does Autistic Burnout Affect Daily Life?

Due to all of the above problems, autistic burnout can negatively impact most aspects of daily lives.

Trouble with Functioning

In burnout, autistic people often feel like they’ve lost the skills they use to function or to mask. They may have difficulties remembering what they need to do, getting things done, or doing things as well as they typically do. They may even struggle to engage in favorite hobbies or special interests. At its worst, some people may not be able to get out of bed, verbally speak, or otherwise care for basic needs.

Strain on Relationships

Autistic burnout often causes relationship problems. The need for social withdrawal may lead to failing to meet social expectations, and exhaustion can lead to neglecting caregiving or house-sharing responsibilities. Loved ones may be disappointed or frustrated by an autistic person’s change of behavior. Neurotypical friends and family may not understand the severity and validity of autistic burnout.

Impact on Mental and Physical Health

Accordingly, autistic burnout is often accompanied by a variety of mental and health struggles, such as loneliness, anxiety, depression. It may also exacerbate physical health problems, such as insomnia, chronic pain, or gastrointestinal issues. Autistic people in burnout may turn to harmful coping strategies, such as substance use, disordered eating, or self-harm.

Strategies for Managing and Recovering from Autistic Burnout

Luckily, if you’re suffering from autistic burnout, there are ways to get through it.

Rest and Gradual Recovery

To address exhaustion, rest. Reduce social and occupational commitments as much as possible. Keep in mind that autistic people may need more sleep, rest, and alone time than neurotypical people need! When returning to typical activities (even special interests), be sure to return slowly and gradually, practicing self-compassion.

Sensory Regulation

Recovery often includes better understanding and respecting your sensory processing and needs. Manage your sensory input by avoiding sensory triggers (e.g., using noise-canceling headphones) and by incorporating sensory self-soothing (e.g., using weighted blankets). Engaging more in stimming or with special interests can also be helpful for regulation.

Self-Advocacy

While very difficult during autistic burnout, asserting your needs can support recovery. Possible options: saying “no” to social engagements, taking time-off from work, requesting sensory accommodations, or expressing desires to unmask more within supportive relationships. 

Seek Professional Support

Seeing a mental health professional may be supportive, as long as they understand and respect neurodiversity. A neurodiversity-affirming therapist who specializes in helping autistic people will be able to help you learn new coping skills and (when you’re ready) problem-solve the causes of your burnout.

Build a Support Network

Connecting with other autistic people can be emotionally validating and tangibly helpful. Organizations like the Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) or the Autistic Women and Nonbinary Network (AWN), or autistic online forums, offer resources, information, community, and social support that can aid recovery.

Preventing Autistic Burnout in the Future

Beyond recovery now, there are strategies that may help prevent autistic burnout.

Recognizing Early Warning Signs

Self-knowledge is powerful. Autistic people will likely benefit from identifying what it feels like for them when stress, over-stimulation, or fatigue are building up. An occupational therapist or psychotherapist can help determine triggers, and can address alexithymia or interoception limits if needed.

Balancing Activities, Rest, and Autistic Needs

Autistic people often benefit from purposefully including regular breaks or downtime into their days and weeks. Implementing “pacing systems13,” requesting accommodations when possible (e.g., asking a supervisor for more time for breaks between work meetings), and finding safe spaces where they can unmask are all useful options.

Developing Coping Mechanisms

Some therapies, such as dialectical behavior therapy, teach dozens of skills for coping with stress, overwhelm, and painful emotions. It’s also important that autistic people lean into the unique, autistic coping mechanisms they already have, and intentionally ensure their downtime includes sensory self-soothing, stimming, engaging in special interests, or ample alone time.

Conclusion

Autistic burnout is a real and very important mental health issue for autistic people. Learning the signs and symptoms, and the ways to recover, is essential for autistic mental health.

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Imposter Syndrome: Do I Belong Here?: Andrew Schreier

Imposter Syndrome is a pervasive issue that impacts professionals across fields. It can lead to debilitating self-doubt, anxiety, and the persistent fear of being “found out” as a fraud. As someone who has experienced and worked to overcome Imposter Syndrome both personally and professionally, I hope to share insights into its challenges and offer strategies to help others build confidence and thrive.

My Background: Personal and Professional

As a counselor, podcaster, and presenter, I’ve dedicated my career to fostering safe spaces where people can grow, heal, and challenge themselves. My approach is rooted in harm reduction and an openness to exploring disruptive methods that drive meaningful change. My professional journey is deeply intertwined with my personal experience of overcoming Imposter Syndrome.

Early in my career, I constantly questioned whether I belonged in the field, despite my education and training. I wondered if my successes were due to luck or if I had somehow deceived others into believing I was competent. As a counselor, I did not have lived experience and was often challenged with whether I could help those impacted by substance use because I didn’t experience it.

These feelings were compounded by the high expectations I set for myself and the comparisons I made to others who appeared more confident and accomplished. It wasn’t until I began confronting these thoughts and reframing them that I started to see the value I brought to my work and others. This transformation inspired me to help others facing similar struggles.

The History of Imposter Syndrome

The term “Imposter Syndrome” was first introduced in 1978 by psychologists Dr. Pauline R. Clance and Dr. Suzanne A. Imes in their groundbreaking study, The Impostor Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention1. The research focused on high-achieving women who attributed their accomplishments to external factors like luck, timing, or even deceit, rather than their competence and abilities. Clance and Imes described it as a psychological pattern characterized by chronic feelings of self-doubt and fear of exposure as a fraud.

Since its introduction, the understanding of Imposter Syndrome has evolved, with research recognizing that it affects individuals across genders, cultures, and industries. Although initially associated with women in professional settings, later studies revealed that men also experience similar doubts but are less likely to vocalize them due to societal expectations around masculinity.

Today, Imposter Syndrome is widely studied in organizational psychology, mental health, and leadership development as a common experience that can significantly impact individual well-being and career growth.

Statistics on Imposter Syndrome

Imposter Syndrome is more widespread than many realize. Here are some recent statistics that highlight its prevalence:

  • 70% of individuals2 are estimated to experience Imposter Syndrome at some point in their lives, according to a study published in the International Journal of Behavioral Science.
  • A survey by KPMG found that 75% of executive women3 across industries have experienced feelings of self-doubt about their work performance and abilities.
  • Research from Asana’s Anatomy of Work Index in 2021 reported that 63% of workers4 admitted to experiencing Imposter Syndrome, with younger employees (Gen Z and Millennials) being the most affected.
  • People of color and underrepresented groups in professional environments are disproportionately impacted, as systemic biases and microaggressions amplify feelings of inadequacy.

These statistics underscore the widespread nature of Imposter Syndrome and the importance of addressing it through awareness, conversation, and practical strategies.

The Challenge of Imposter Syndrome

Imposter Syndrome5 is defined as “a behavioral health phenomenon described as self-doubt of intellect, skills, or accomplishments among high-achieving individuals.” It is an internal experience of believing you are not as competent as others perceive you to be. It often manifests as chronic self-doubt, fear of failure, and attributing success to external factors rather than personal ability. Though initially identified in high-achieving women, Imposter Syndrome affects people of all genders, ages, and backgrounds.

Several factors contribute to the prevalence of Imposter Syndrome:

  • Perfectionism: Setting unrealistically high standards and berating oneself for falling short.
  • Comparison Culture: Constantly measuring one’s achievements against the curated successes of peers.
  • Societal Expectations: Pressures to excel, often exacerbated by systemic biases that question the legitimacy of underrepresented individuals in certain fields.

The impact of Imposter Syndrome can be profound. It often leads to:

  • Anxiety and depression.
  • Reluctance to seek opportunities or promotions, leading to career stagnation.
  • Overworking to “prove” oneself, which can result in burnout.
  • Difficulty trusting others, including mentors or colleagues, due to fears of being judged.
  • Procrastination or avoidance of tasks to delay the possibility of failure.
  • Impaired decision-making, driven by a lack of confidence in one’s judgment.
  • Diminished satisfaction with personal and professional achievements, as successes are undervalued or dismissed.

Despite its challenges, addressing Imposter Syndrome can lead to significant personal growth and a renewed sense of purpose. Understanding its roots and effects is the first step toward overcoming it.

My Experience Tackling Imposter Syndrome

My journey with Imposter Syndrome began with a harsh realization: I was my own worst critic. No matter how much positive feedback I received from others, I dismissed it as unwarranted. I started as a counselor working directly with those impacted by substance use. Earlier in my career, people would often ask if I had lived experience. This ranged from individuals in treatment, colleagues, supervisors, and other professionals. 

Even after working as a licensed counselor for several years, I questioned whether I could be of any service in the field without the experience. When I was initially introduced to doing counseling for those impacted by gambling I actually hesitated to pursue it further. I thought, “If I don’t belong in substance use because of lack of lived experience then I won’t belong in gambling either. I need to wait until I know my place here.” And so I did. I waited a few more years before deciding to specialize in gambling counseling.  

For years, I continued to feel like I didn’t belong in the helping profession because of lack of lived experience. I avoided talking about it and relied heavily on my training, academic focus, and most importantly, what I learned from those sitting in the room with me who shared their struggles and challenges. One particular moment brought the focus of tackling imposter syndrome head on when I became a licensed clinical supervisor.

Now, I was working to help others develop as counselors and noticed many of them struggled with feeling like they were an imposter. They questioned whether they belonged in the field despite their academic success, obtaining licenses, receiving proper supervision, and ongoing training development. When I began working with larger organizations I also saw it in other roles I interacted with: front desk staff, clinic managers, and nurses.  

A substance use professional with no experience using substances. A licensed professional counselor with their own history of mental health issues. A peer support specialist working their own recovery program. A marriage and family therapist who is currently dealing with their own separation from their spouse. A nutritionist who continues to have their own challenges with food consumption. An administrative staff member who started working at the front desk. The core question many of these professionals will have when it comes to their role is, “Do I belong here?” 

People questioned their place in the field they have passionately chosen to be a part of with a fear that they would be discovered as a fraud because of lacking “perfection.” As helping professionals, we viewed ourselves as needing to have the lived experience, having no issues with mental health, a perfect marriage or relationship, and ultimately having all the answers to life’s questions. It doesn’t help when others say, “you are a counselor; don’t you know everything” or “you are a marriage therapist; so you must have a perfect marriage.”

Through these experiences, I’ve learned that I was not the only one questioning my belonging in this profession of helping others. There were friends, colleagues, and others who I assumed knew their place and felt confident in what they were doing. It was comforting to know that I was not alone; and these experiences led me to addressing it head on for myself and those I was supervising.  

Solutions Based on My Expertise

Addressing Imposter Syndrome requires a combination of introspection, external support, and actionable strategies. Here are the approaches I’ve found most effective, both personally and professionally:

1. Reframe Negative Thought Patterns

Our thoughts shape our reality. By identifying and challenging irrational beliefs, we can begin to shift our mindset. For example:

  • Replace “I only succeeded because of luck.” with “My hard work and skills contributed to this success.”
  • Use evidence-based thinking: List your accomplishments and the specific actions that led to them.

2. Embrace Vulnerability and Open Conversations

Sharing feelings of self-doubt can be liberating. In my counseling sessions, I’ve seen how group discussions help individuals realize they’re not alone in their struggles. Similarly, being open with colleagues about Imposter Syndrome can foster connection and mutual support.

3. Cultivate Self-Compassion

Perfectionism and self-criticism often go hand in hand with Imposter Syndrome. Learning to treat oneself with kindness—as you would a close friend—can counteract these tendencies. For instance, rather than dwelling on a mistake, focus on what can be learned from it and how it contributes to growth.

4. Seek Professional Guidance

Therapeutic modalities like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) are effective in addressing the underlying thought patterns associated with Imposter Syndrome. As a counselor, I’ve seen how these approaches help clients build confidence and resilience.

5. Celebrate Achievements: Big and Small

Taking time to acknowledge accomplishments, no matter how minor they seem, can help build a sense of competence. Keeping a “success journal” to document wins is a practical way to reinforce positive self-perception. One important area of development for me was recognizing why some teammates and colleagues didn’t like public celebrations.  

If someone is struggling with Imposter Syndrome, celebrating them publicly casts more light on their performance. If they are worried about being discovered as a fraud, the spotlight will likely cause more distress. It does not mean we can’t celebrate the success of others. We should focus more on understanding how individuals like to be celebrated and even exploring that for ourselves.  

Closing Thoughts and Future Directions

Imposter Syndrome is a deeply ingrained challenge for many, but it is not insurmountable. By recognizing its presence, sharing experiences, and implementing effective strategies, we can begin to dismantle the self-doubt that holds us back.

Looking ahead, I envision a world where conversations about Imposter Syndrome become more normalized, reducing the stigma and isolation it often brings. In my work, I plan to continue exploring this topic through counseling sessions, podcast discussions, and professional presentations, offering tools and insights to empower individuals to embrace their worth.

If you’re struggling with Imposter Syndrome, remember: You are not alone. Your feelings, while valid, do not define your value or capabilities. With time, effort, and support, you can overcome self-doubt and step into the confidence you deserve. Do you belong here? We are all a part of the card-carrying human race. It’s our connection with one another that makes a great impact on our ability to help and be present for someone.  

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How Poetry Saved Alexander Schotten’s Life

It was snowing the first time Alexander read a poem he had written aloud…

He was in treatment then, a center made up of two old Victorian-style homes, planted in the middle of downtown. Outside, drug dealers moved through the alleyways like ghosts—lost souls, as he described them—meandering through a world that felt so close yet so far away. Sirens pierced the night, echoing the chaos in his mind, while inside, the creaking of stairs filled the air. Alexander often felt profoundly alone, even surrounded by the murmur of others. He spent nights stepping into the cold, lighting cigarette after cigarette, inhaling poison to survive the suffocating darkness.

To get to the group therapy center, he had to cross the street. It was winter in northern Wisconsin, and the small building where they met was barely heated. The old furnace would take half the session just to make the room livable, but that day, Alexander never stopped shivering. Partly, it was the cold—but mostly, it was fear. 

Not the reckless fear of using dangerous drugs or committing crimes to survive. This was a different kind of fear. It was raw, vulnerable, heart-gripping fear.

But he walked through it. For the first time in his recovery, Alexander chose to face it. He doesn’t remember much about the poem now—just that it had something to do with a mirror and the reflection he couldn’t bear to see. At the time, he thought it was Shakespearean-level genius, though he laughs about it now. What mattered wasn’t the words but the act of writing them and sharing them. It was the first time he allowed himself to be intentionally vulnerable and connected with others through art.

In the short term, that moment didn’t change his life. Alexander left treatment, relapsed, overdosed multiple times, and nearly didn’t survive. He threw away every opportunity to recover, until finally, prison became his reality.

Prison is where Alexander rediscovered poetry. It was also where he learned to count cards and gamble, an odd juxtaposition that still amuses him. In the early hours of the morning, while the institution slept and his cellmates dreamed of freedom, Alexander filled notebooks with his trauma. 

It became his secret, a small rebellion of self-expression in an environment so stuffed with pain that he says, “A single storm could have broken the dam.” Others in the prison who used art to cope taught him how to sharpen his craft. Through this, he began to gather the artistic tools that, one day, would help him paint a new path for himself on a canvas he never expected to find.

But again, this change didn’t happen overnight. After his release, Alexander didn’t touch a pen for four years. This time, he didn’t relapse—but recovery brought its own set of challenges. He traded drugs for alcohol and convinced himself he was doing fine because he wasn’t hitting rock bottom anymore. But deep down, he was stuck.

Where Things Began to Shift

After four years, Alexander finally picked up a pen again.

It wasn’t for poetry, not at first. The words were jagged, scattered—his mind was in pieces. But each sentence brought a new sense of clarity, and with that, a spark of something he hadn’t felt in a long time: hope.

He started carrying a notebook everywhere. Work, the bar, his car—it didn’t matter.

“I had to face myself on paper,” he would later say. “It was the only way I could hear my own voice over the noise of my past.”

Writing wasn’t just cathartic—it was his rebellion. Against the numbness. Against the mistakes. Against the years of silence. It was his way of reassembling the broken parts of himself.

When he finally started performing his poems, it wasn’t about getting applause. It was about being real. And the audience felt it. The vulnerability in his words spoke to them, and they responded. Alexander wasn’t the only one healing.

At a poetry slam one night, someone asked, “How did you make it out?”

He smiled softly. “I didn’t find peace. I found a pen. And with it, I found my voice.”

At that moment, it clicked.

Healing wasn’t about forgetting the past—it was about learning to live with it. Through poetry, Alexander had found a way to make his past a part of his story, not a weight holding him back.

For the first time in his life, he wasn’t just surviving. He was living—fully, authentically, at peace with his past and the person he had grown to be.

Would you like to share your recovery story with Recovery.com? Contact Recovery.com Contributor, Caroline Beidler, today to learn more!

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How to Stop Procrastinating: A Guide to Getting Things Done: Dr. Sarah Anderson

We’ve all experienced it—the clock ticking, the deadline looming, and instead of diving into the task at hand, we’re doing everything in our power to avoid it. It’s a struggle for many—procrastination. Whether it’s delaying a work project, avoiding studying for exams, or putting off a household chore, procrastination affects us all. But what exactly is procrastination? Why do we do it? And most importantly, how can we stop?

Procrastination is more than just a bad habit—it often stems from psychological and emotional factors that make it difficult to stop. However, there are effective strategies that can help you regain control. By adopting these techniques, you can improve focus, productivity, and time management, leading to reduced stress and more effective action. 

What Is Procrastination?

Procrastination is the deliberate avoidance of tasks. While everyone procrastinates from time to time, chronic procrastination can lead to stress, guilt, and anxiety. It’s important to note that procrastination isn’t a sign of laziness; rather, it’s a complex psychological phenomenon.

Procrastination is often seen as a failure in self-regulation (Steel, 2007). It involves engaging in activities that provide short-term satisfaction—like watching TV or scrolling through social media—rather than focusing on tasks with long-term benefits. This leads to a buildup of pressure as deadlines draw near, and over time, chronic procrastination can contribute to increased stress, poor performance, and decreased self-confidence. Ultimately, this cycle can negatively impact mental health.

Why Do We Procrastinate?

Procrastination often has deeper psychological roots than what appears on the surface, and understanding these underlying factors can help us break the cycle. Here are some of the most common reasons people procrastinate:

Fear of Failure or Perfectionism

One of the biggest reasons for procrastination is a fear of failure. When confronted with a challenging task, we may avoid starting it entirely because we’re so focused on not doing it perfectly. Perfectionists, in particular, tend to procrastinate because they are afraid of making mistakes, and this fear of imperfection often leads to complete avoidance of tasks (Flett et al., 1992).

Perfectionists tend to set unrealistically high standards for themselves, which can create a fear of inadequacy and result in avoidance. They often delay work because they worry they won’t meet their own expectations. Research has shown that perfectionism is strongly correlated with procrastination, especially when individuals feel the need to achieve flawless results (Flett et al., 1992). As a result, procrastination becomes a coping mechanism to avoid facing the potential for imperfection or failure.

Low Motivation or Lack of Interest

Sometimes, we procrastinate simply because we don’t want to do the task. If the task feels boring, overwhelming, or uninteresting, it can be difficult to find the motivation to start. Van Eerde (2003) found that individuals are more likely to procrastinate on tasks that are perceived as unpleasant, tedious, or lacking in immediate rewards. If a task doesn’t excite us, it’s easy to push it aside in favor of more stimulating activities. For example, instead of working on a long-term assignment, you may find yourself distracted by social media or texting. This is especially true for tasks that feel unrewarding, like studying for a far-off exam or working on a large project that won’t pay off immediately.

Poor Time Management

Procrastination is often linked to poor time management. Without a clear plan or sense of urgency, it’s easy to delay tasks until the last minute. Effective time management also involves prioritizing tasks. When someone struggles to determine what’s most important or urgent, they may have difficulty deciding what needs to be done immediately and what can wait. 

Additionally, if we don’t allocate enough time for each task or misjudge how long something will take, procrastination becomes even more tempting. Without a clear structure, it’s easy to push tasks aside until the pressure of a looming deadline creates unnecessary stress.

Avoidance of Discomfort

Procrastination often functions as an avoidance strategy. Tasks that feel mentally taxing or anxiety-inducing—like writing a report or filling out paperwork—tend to be delayed. This avoidance can provide temporary relief from uncomfortable emotions such as anxiety, frustration, or boredom (Sirois et al., 2013).

However, procrastination only worsens the situation. Although it may offer short-term relief, the underlying stress and anxiety will eventually accumulate, leading to an even more overwhelming experience in the long run.

The Consequences of Procrastination

While procrastination might feel like a temporary escape, it can lead to several negative long-term consequences:

Increased Stress

Procrastination typically results in higher levels of stress and anxiety as deadlines draw near. The longer we delay a task, the more pressure we feel to complete it last-minute. This creates a cycle of stress that worsens with every delay.

Lower Quality of Work

Procrastinators often rush to finish tasks at the last minute, which compromises the quality of their work. Steel (2007) found that procrastinators tend to perform poorly on tasks because they are rushed or distracted by the anxiety that comes with looming deadlines.

Negative Impact on Mental Health

Chronic procrastination can contribute to feelings of guilt, shame, and low self-esteem. The cycle of avoidance and stress gradually erodes self-confidence, resulting in a diminished sense of well-being (Sirois, 2014). These negative emotional experiences can ultimately impact mental health.

Relationship Strain

Procrastination can also strain relationships, especially in work or personal settings. If you’re constantly delaying tasks or missing deadlines, it can create tension with colleagues, family members, or friends who depend on you to fulfill commitments.

Methods to Stop Procrastinating

Stopping procrastination is not easy, but it is entirely possible with the right strategies. Below are several evidence-based techniques that can help you take control.

Break Tasks into Smaller Steps

One of the most effective ways to combat procrastination is by breaking large tasks into smaller, more manageable steps. Complex tasks can feel overwhelming, but when divided into bite-sized chunks, they become much more achievable. Instead of thinking, “I need to write a 10-page paper,” focus on one small part at a time—like writing a single paragraph or creating an outline. This makes the task feel less intimidating and helps you build momentum.

Use the Two-Minute Rule

The two-minute rule is a simple technique that helps you get started on tasks. The rule is straightforward: if something takes less than two minutes to complete, do it immediately. This principle helps prevent small tasks from accumulating and reduces the mental resistance to starting a task. David Allen, creator of the Getting Things Done productivity method, advocates for this approach as a way to prevent procrastination (Allen, 2001). Tackling quick tasks immediately builds momentum and makes larger tasks feel more manageable.

Time Blocking and the Pomodoro Technique

Time blocking involves setting aside specific periods of time to focus on tasks, creating a structured schedule that fosters a clear sense of priority and helps reduce procrastination. Similarly, the Pomodoro Technique—while a form of time blocking—offers a more structured approach by having individuals work in 25-minute intervals followed by a 5-minute break (Cirillo, 2018). 

Create a Reward System

Rewarding yourself after completing tasks can help keep motivation high. When tasks are boring or unpleasant, offering a reward afterward can make them feel more rewarding. For example, treat yourself to a break, a favorite snack, or a fun activity after completing a task. Self-reward can boost motivation and reduce procrastination by reinforcing productive behaviors, which increases the likelihood of forming better habits.

Practice Self-Compassion

Practicing self-compassion is a key strategy for overcoming procrastination. Instead of criticizing yourself for delaying tasks, practice kindness and understanding. Studies show that individuals who are self-compassionate tend to procrastinate less because they don’t experience the same level of guilt and shame that fuel procrastination (Sirois, 2014). Instead of berating yourself for procrastinating, recognize that it’s a normal part of life and focus on taking small steps to move forward. 

Why Common Strategies Might Not Work for Individuals with ADHD

While these strategies are effective for many, individuals with ADHD face unique challenges that make traditional procrastination techniques less effective. While pretty much everyone procrastinates from time to time, individuals with ADHD often experience chronic procrastination. Understanding the neurocognitive differences that contribute to procrastination in ADHD is crucial when it comes to finding effective solutions.

1. Impaired Executive Functioning

ADHD is associated with impairments in executive functions, such as planning, organizing, and task initiation (Gustavson & Miyake, 2017). These deficits make it challenging for individuals with ADHD to break tasks into smaller, manageable steps or develop detailed plans for completing them. As a result, strategies like task breakdowns may not be effective unless individuals are specifically taught how to make the process easier and more engaging. 

While procrastination is inherently tied to issues with executive functioning, it’s important to note that individuals with ADHD do not always respond well to typical strategies for overcoming procrastination. For example, standard techniques like setting deadlines or using time management tools may not provide the same level of effectiveness, as they do not account for the unique ways ADHD affects attention, motivation, and task initiation.

2. Skewed Time Perception

People with ADHD often struggle with “temporal discounting”—a tendency to underappreciate the amount of time a task will take and how imminent the deadline truly is (Thomas et al., 2007). This skewed sense of time makes it difficult to use time-based techniques like time blocking effectively. People with ADHD may feel that they have “plenty of time” until the deadline arrives, causing them to delay work unnecessarily.

3. Emotional Dysregulation

People with ADHD experience heightened emotional responses to tasks, especially those that feel overwhelming or uninteresting. This emotional sensitivity increases the likelihood of procrastination, as individuals with ADHD may avoid tasks to escape negative feelings such as anxiety or frustration (Van Eerde, 2003).

Tailored Approaches for ADHD

For individuals with ADHD, more tailored and personalized strategies are necessary. Here are some techniques that can be particularly effective:

1. Finding the “Why”

Connecting tasks to personal interests or long-term goals can increase motivation. Because individuals with ADHD often struggle to generate intrinsic motivation for boring tasks, linking them to a bigger “why”—such as future career benefits or personal goals—can help increase engagement (Gustavson & Miyake, 2017).

2. Gamifying Tasks

Making tasks more engaging by turning them into games or challenges can increase focus. For example, challenge yourself to complete a task in a set amount of time and track progress to add an element of competition. Gamification increases dopamine release, making tasks feel more rewarding.

3. Using Visual Cues

Visual reminders such as sticky notes, to-do lists, or color-coded calendars are especially effective for people with ADHD. These visual cues provide constant reminders, helping to trigger attention and prioritize tasks (Van Eerde, 2003).

4. Flexible Time Blocks

Rather than using rigid time blocks, allow for flexibility in work periods. People with ADHD often experience fluctuating energy and focus levels, so alternating between work and breaks can make time blocking more effective. When taking breaks, set a timer to help you get back on track. I recommend using a simple timer, separate from your phone, as this reduces the risk of distraction and prevents getting further off task.

5. Novel Rewards

Rewards are more motivating for people with ADHD when they are novel or aligned with personal interests. Instead of generic rewards like snacks, opt for activities that are personally engaging, such as watching a favorite TV show or dedicating time to a hobby. Additionally, changing up rewards regularly can help maintain their novelty and excitement.

6. Urgency

For individuals with ADHD, creating a strong sense of urgency can be crucial to overcoming procrastination (Barkley, 2015). Without a clear deadline or immediate pressure, tasks can feel endless, leading to avoidance. Setting internal deadlines that are earlier than the actual due date or breaking tasks into smaller, time-limited segments can help create that necessary sense of urgency. Additionally, having external pre-deadlines can be particularly helpful. 

For example, if you need to complete a paper for a class by a specific date, joining a writing group with an earlier deadline can create added urgency. This strategy helps ensure you finish your paper on time by giving you a deadline that’s sooner than the final due date. This approach prevents the tendency to delay work until the last minute and can increase focus by encouraging quicker decision-making and action. Creating time constraints also taps into the heightened focus people with ADHD may experience under pressure, motivating them to complete tasks efficiently.

7. Body Doubling

Body doubling is a strategy that can be particularly effective in reducing procrastination, especially for individuals with ADHD or those who struggle with focus. The concept involves having another person present while you work—whether in person or virtually. This “body double” doesn’t need to actively participate in the task, but simply their presence can create a sense of accountability and reduce the temptation to get distracted. The idea is that the act of having someone else in the room can provide the necessary external structure to stay on task and help combat feelings of overwhelm or isolation (Dittner, 2004).

8. Self-Compassion

As with anyone struggling with procrastination, practicing self-compassion is key for people with ADHD. Acknowledging the unique challenges posed by ADHD helps to reduce self-criticism and guilt. Self-compassion creates a more supportive mental environment for tackling procrastination (Sirois et al., 2013).

Final Notes

Procrastination is a challenging habit, but it’s one that can be broken. Understanding the psychological and emotional factors at play, and implementing targeted strategies, can help you regain control over your tasks and improve productivity. For individuals with ADHD, additional modifications and a more individual approach may be necessary to address unique neurocognitive differences. 

Whether it’s breaking tasks down, using time blocks, or practicing self-compassion, these strategies can help you reduce procrastination and unlock your potential.

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What Happens When You Quit Drinking Alcohol “Cold Turkey”

While the idea of immediately cutting off alcohol may seem like a fast path to recovery, it can actually be very dangerous, especially for those with long-term dependence. The body and brain become accustomed to alcohol’s presence, and suddenly removing it can trigger severe physical and psychological withdrawal symptoms. 

Safe recovery begins with knowing when to seek medical supervision and creating a plan that prioritizes your health and well-being.

Understanding Alcohol Dependence

Alcohol dependence, or alcohol use disorder (AUD), is defined by a loss of control over drinking habits1, leading to a need for alcohol and compulsive drinking. What may begin as social or stress-related drinking can cause a cycle where alcohol becomes the central part of life, regardless of its negative impact on health, relationships, and responsibilities. 

Key signs of alcohol addiction include

  • Increased tolerance
  • The inability to cut back or stop drinking
  • Withdrawal symptoms like tremors, nausea, or seizures

At large, alcohol dependence is a widespread issue, affecting around 283 million people worldwide2. It’s not confined to a specific demographic or region, but actually a global issue that affects young and old, rich and poor alike.

Alcohol dependence affects both the mind and body, creating a dual grip of addiction that makes it challenging to break free. Psychologically, alcohol becomes a coping tool. Many struggling with dependence may drink to manage underlying mental health issues3 like anxiety, depression, and trauma. 

Regular drinking interferes with the brain’s neurotransmitters4, especially those related to pleasure and reward, such as dopamine. Eventually, the brain begins to expect and depend on alcohol to maintain this pleasant state, and without it, the person experiences discomfort and distress. As the body adapts to the constant presence of alcohol, tolerance builds, requiring more to achieve the same effects. As the body becomes used to the presence of alcohol, suddenly removing it can be dangerous. 

What Does Quitting “Cold Turkey” Mean?

Quitting alcohol “cold turkey” refers to abruptly stopping alcohol consumption without safely tapering off or using any form of medical assistance—which can cause serious health consequences or be fatal. 

Brain chemistry changes when the body adapts to chronic alcohol use5. Alcohol depresses the nervous system6, so in response, the brain creates more receptors to stimulate the system. When alcohol is quickly removed, these receptors become hyperactive, leading to severe withdrawal symptoms.

Sudden alcohol cessation can trigger tremors, seizures, or even delirium tremens, a life-threatening condition. For this reason, it is vital to taper off alcohol under medical guidance. Medical professionals can monitor your vital signs, assess the severity of your withdrawal, and provide prescribed medications such as naltrexone if appropriate7 (this helps safely manage withdrawal symptoms). While quitting cold turkey may seem like a quick fix, the dangers outweigh the supposed benefits.

Immediate Risks of Quitting Alcohol Cold Turkey

When alcohol is abruptly removed from the body, common withdrawal symptoms often emerge within hours to a couple days8, including tremors, sweating, nausea, vomiting, and headaches. Many people also experience rapid heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and restlessness.

The brain, accustomed to the depressant effects of alcohol, can become hyperactive and dysregulated, making it difficult to manage emotional responses. Quitting drinking cold turkey can cause heightened anxiety, depression, irritability, and mood swings. For some, these distressing feelings can be overwhelming and lead to agitation or panic. 

Severe Complications of Alcohol Withdrawal

In the worst case scenario, seizures and delirium tremens (DTs) are the most severe and potentially life-threatening risks of suddenly quitting alcohol. Without immediate medical treatment, both seizures and delirium tremens can be fatal, which necessitates detoxing under medical supervision. 

Delirium tremens is a severe withdrawal condition that can lead to confusion, hallucinations, agitation9, and in extreme cases, heart failure. This medical emergency is characterized by sudden and extreme confusion, agitation, hallucinations, and severe changes in nervous system function. DTs usually appear 48 to 72 hours after the last drink.

The rebound effect of hyperactivity that the brain experiences after alcohol cessation leads to the intense symptoms associated with DTs.

Not everyone who experiences alcohol withdrawal will develop DTs, but some factors increase the likelihood including:

  • Chronic heavy alcohol use: Long-term, high-volume drinkers are at higher risk.
  • Previous episodes of withdrawal or DTs: Those who have gone through alcohol withdrawal before, especially if they’ve experienced DTs previously, are at greater risk.
  • Other medical conditions: Underlying health issues, particularly related to the heart, liver, or nervous system, can increase the risk of developing DTs during withdrawal.
  • Older age: Older individuals are more susceptible due to the cumulative effects of alcohol on the body and the slower withdrawal recovery rate.
  • Co-occurring substance use: Using other drugs in conjunction with alcohol, such as benzodiazepines or opioids, increases the risk of severe withdrawal symptoms like DTs.

DTs are fatal in 5-15% of untreated cases, due to complications like heart failure, severe dehydration, or head injuries from seizures. For those who survive, uncontrolled seizures can lead to permanent brain damage, cognitive impairments, or other neurological complications.

Medical Supervision and Detoxification

Detoxing under medical supervision is essential for your safety and well-being. Medically supervised detox programs provide proper care and attention to help individuals safely withdraw from alcohol, offering professional support every step of the way. 

These programs are usually held in hospitals or recovery facilities where compassionate medical staff closely monitor your condition to ensure the process is as safe as possible. The first step is a thorough assessment to understand your medical history, alcohol use patterns, and any co-existing mental or physical health issues. From this, a personalized detox plan is crafted, tailored specifically to meet your needs.

During detox, medical professionals may provide medications to help ease withdrawal symptoms and prevent serious complications. Throughout the process, they regularly check your vital signs to catch any potential concerns. In this supportive environment, any complications can be immediately managed, ensuring your safety in a way that isn’t possible when trying to detox alone.

The most effective way to manage withdrawal is a gradual tapering approach to alcohol detox, meaning slowly reducing alcohol intake or using medications to ease symptoms. This method allows time for your body to adjust, reducing both physical discomfort and emotional distress. With gradual tapering, the detox process becomes more manageable and less overwhelming. 

Psychological and Emotional Support

Therapy offers a safe space to explore the underlying reasons behind alcohol use and helps address the emotional struggles that often accompany recovery. Whether through 1-on-1 therapy sessions or group counseling, these services provide tools for managing cravings, coping with stress, and developing healthier thought patterns. A trained therapist can guide you through the ups and downs of recovery, offering encouragement and strategies to help you maintain your progress, even when challenges arise.

Support groups, such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), also play a vital role in long-term recovery. These groups offer a sense of community and belonging, providing a space to share experiences, struggles, and successes with others who understand what it’s like to overcome alcohol addiction. Regular meetings help keep you grounded in your commitment to sobriety and remind you that you’re not alone in this process.

Building a support network of family and friends is equally important. The people closest to you can offer emotional support, encouragement, and accountability, helping you stay focused on your goals. Surrounding yourself with loved ones who understand your commitment to recovery makes a significant impact, as they can provide a shoulder to lean on during tough times and celebrate your milestones with you. 

Long-Term Recovery and Relapse Prevention

Long-term recovery from alcohol dependence extends well beyond detox—it’s a journey that requires ongoing effort, self-awareness, and commitment. After detox, you can develop a plan with practical steps to stay on track, such as attending regular therapy sessions, continuing with support groups, and setting clear goals. These tools help provide structure and accountability, giving you the resources needed to navigate life without alcohol.

A critical part of relapse prevention is learning to recognize and manage your triggers (situations, emotions, people, or environments that may prompt the urge to drink). Understanding what triggers you and developing coping strategies—such as breathing exercises, reaching out to a trusted friend, or practicing distraction techniques—can help you manage these moments of vulnerability. 

Long-term recovery isn’t just about avoiding alcohol; it’s about creating a life you don’t want to escape from. With the right strategies, support, and self-care, you can maintain sobriety and build a future full of promise and possibility.

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What Comes Next? Kristi’s Journey to Building a Purposeful Life

When Kristi Younkin first became sober, she faced a self-reflective question: “What comes next?”  

Recovery had given her a new beginning, but filling that blank area she had never known with purpose required focus, effort, and vision.

Kristi knew she had to start smaller. She started with a simple yet effective self-task: writing down her goals. One of her primary goals was to regain her physical health. As a member of the Air Force, she always struggled with the annual physical training test, often just barely making her way through it. Sobriety offered a chance to regain her strength

On a small notepad, Kristi began documenting her daily workouts. 

Every day, she journaled her progress: Push-ups, sit-ups, jumping rope without stopping, running. For Kristi, tracking her progress became a ritual and a way to stay accountable to herself.

“It felt so good to be motivated and to be working towards something positive, instead of against what was unhealthy for me.”

Over time Kristi saw the improvement, not only in her physical appearance, but in her mindset too.

“I lost 15 pounds during that process, and it made such a difference—not just physically, but mentally too,” she said “Seeing my progress on paper reminded me that I was capable of change and growth.”

Looking Into The Future

Sobriety was not just about letting go of the past; it was about looking into her future self. She encourages anyone in recovery to start visualizing their better self. 

• What goals excite you?

• What’s something you’ve always wanted to achieve?

Kristi realized early on that focusing on the possibilities ahead could help quiet the pull of old habits. “I stayed so busy pursuing my goals that I didn’t have time to think about using or drinking,” she explains. “Your future is this amazing opportunity—you just have to step into it.”

For some, those goals might be their relationships at home, or getting a degree. For others, it might mean finding a fulfilling career, traveling the world, or simply creating a life founded in stability theyve never had. Whatever the vision is, Kristi believes the key is to focus on realistic, and manageable goals. 

“Don’t waste your energy rehashing the past,” she advises. “Instead, pour everything you have into building something beautiful. Your future is yours to create.”

Navigating the Journey

Recovery is not an easy journey. Kristi is the first to acknowledge that the emotions of early sobriety can feel overwhelming and scary. But over time, she has learned to view feelings as temporary waves—intense but fleeting. 

“Feelings are just feelings,” she says. “They come and go, and that’s okay. Don’t let them derail you.”

For her, connecting with others in a recovery community is another ongoing and vital part of her journey. She finds strength and stability in the friendships she intentionally cultivates at her church, in recovery spaces, and in the greater community. By focusing on relationships and being an active participant in her community, she not only supports her own sobriety journey, she also finds joy and meaning in helping others on their path to wellness.

“Just because you’re starting your recovery journey doesn’t mean you can’t support someone else along the way,” she explains. “Sometimes, sharing your story or lending a hand is exactly what you need to stay grounded.”

A Life Transformed

Today, Kristi reflects on her journey full of gratitude. Sobriety not only helped her get back into shape but also gave her the tools to build an impactful life for herself and others. From setting goals to making new connections, she’s found purpose in the process she wouldn’t have otherwise.

“This time in your life is so exciting,” she says. “You’re building something incredible, one step at a time.”

Her advice to others is to start simple: Dream big, start small, and don’t be afraid to ask for help along the way. 

Kristi now travels the world in her retirement, a dream she once thought was out of reach. She hopes her recovery story will inspire others to embrace their own recovery journey with hope and determination.