This article is a comprehensive summary of a heartfelt conversation from the Giving Voice to Depression podcast, hosted by Terry McGuire. In Episode 367, Terry and former co-host Dr. Anita Sanz speak with J.J. Singleton, a 37-year-old colorectal cancer patient who has undergone more than 170 rounds of chemotherapy while battling not only terminal illness—but also the mental health toll that comes with it.
J.J. doesn’t just share his medical story. He shines a light on the emotional and psychological weight of cancer, depression, and masculinity in silence. His vulnerability, honesty, and refusal to isolate his experience makes his story both sobering and deeply inspiring.
Here are 9+ truths J.J. learned about mental health while navigating a terminal diagnosis.
1. Mental Health Is Part of the Cancer Battle
Most people focus on the physical devastation of cancer: the weight loss, hair loss, exhaustion, and invasive treatments. But for J.J., the real war was internal.
As J.J. candidly shared:
The physical part was horrible but what was going on in my head was so much worse. It’s what kept me in bed 22 hours a day for almost a year.
J.J. wasn’t prepared for the depression, PTSD, and anxiety that followed his second cancer diagnosis. He struggled with suicidal thoughts, hopelessness, and feelings of being a burden. His mental health challenges became just as life-threatening as his physical illness.
What made it even harder was that the emotional suffering was invisible. Unlike chemotherapy’s physical toll, no one could see the depth of J.J.’s psychological pain.
2. Silence Around Mental Health—Especially for Men—Is Dangerous
Growing up in the rural South, J.J. says emotional expression wasn’t encouraged—especially for men.
J.J. explained:
I come from a family deep in the South and you know it’s like we’re taught as a man to push it down, you can handle it all yourself — never really taught that but never told it’s okay to express it.
That ingrained belief—that strength means silence—led him to isolate himself during his darkest moments. J.J. had to learn, slowly and painfully, that sharing his emotional experience was not weakness. It was courage. It was life-saving.
Changing the conversation around masculinity and vulnerability is now one of J.J.’s missions. He wants men, especially those facing illness or grief, to know that silence isn’t strength—it’s suffering.
3. Therapy Is Not a Weakness—It’s Survival
Like many, J.J. had misconceptions about therapy.
As J.J. recalled:
All I knew about therapy is what I’d seen in popular culture, to where it was like a running joke where it’s like, “Oh, he needs therapy. He’s crazy. He’s out of his mind. He can’t handle this.”
But after reaching a terrifying low point—lying in bed with a chemo pump and not wanting to wake up—he realized he needed help.
J.J. shared the moment his perspective shifted:
I woke up that next morning and I was terrified. And that’s when I was like, “I got to get help” because I was like, I do not want to put the burden of me taking my own life on my family, all of my friends, because I couldn’t handle it.
Once J.J. began therapy, he learned that therapy isn’t about fixing you—it’s about finding safe space to express what you’re carrying, and help navigating the weight.
4. Admitting You’re Struggling Is the First Step Toward Healing
For J.J., the turning point wasn’t a miracle cure—it was an honest admission to himself and others.
J.J. reflected on how difficult it was to open up:
That was probably one of the hardest conversations I’ve ever had — to admit that out loud like instead of just in my head that I was having those thoughts but I didn’t think my life was worth there.
What helped most was realizing he wasn’t alone in his thoughts.
As J.J. added:
They let me know that that’s not uncommon and it does not make me pariah or different or weird or unique or anything… and we can work through that and get me the help that I needed.
Naming his thoughts in the presence of someone who didn’t judge them made all the difference.
5. Connection Heals: Peer Support Is Vital
In addition to therapy, J.J. credits connection with others as essential to his mental wellness.
- He sought out other cancer survivors who understood.
- He leaned on friends and family once he stopped hiding his pain.
- He even found comfort listening to mental health podcasts during chemo sessions—including Giving Voice to Depression.
J.J. emphasized the power of peer relationships:
Meeting really, really important friends that I’ve met that is in this same cancer and traumatic experiences where I can like talk to them and they understand where I’m coming from.
When he shared his burdens, the burdens became lighter.
6. Distraction and Escape Are Powerful Mental Health Tools
When your reality is saturated with suffering, stepping outside of it for even a moment matters.
As J.J. put it:
I was like inside my own head… cancer, death, everything 24/7 all the time. And for me my escape where I first started found that was watching Star Wars. It allowed me to leave this like world with cancer for 30, 45 — an hour a day.
That daily break gave him space to breathe and, eventually, to rebuild. Distraction wasn’t avoidance. It was restoration.
Over time, those tiny moments of mental relief added up to a form of resilience.
7. Being Told ‘You’re Not Alone’ Can Save a Life
What helped J.J. most in therapy wasn’t just advice—it was validation.
J.J. described the impact of being heard:
Just being able to say it out loud, talk on it and understand that I’m not losing my mind thinking those thoughts.
Knowing he wasn’t the only person who’d ever thought about ending his life brought relief. That moment—being seen without judgment—helped reframe his entire outlook.
8. Mental Health Support Should Be Built Into Medical Care
J.J. wasn’t warned about the psychological toll of cancer treatment. If he had been, he believes it would have changed everything.
When Terry asked if it would’ve helped to hear earlier about the mental toll, J.J. responded:
Yes, I would like to see that across the board with newly diagnosed cancer patients.
J.J. elaborated:
If I would have been aware of it, maybe it wouldn’t have blindsided me so much to where I would’ve been already talking about it and kind of just aware is my big thing.
He wants mental health check-ins to become a standard part of care—not an afterthought or a luxury.
9. Fighting for Mental Health Is as Important as Fighting Cancer
Even as a terminal patient, J.J. devotes part of his limited energy to mental health advocacy.
As J.J. explained:
If I’m going to advocate for the cancer part of this, I want to shine a light on the mental health, too, because for me, they’re one and the same. Like I can’t battle one without battling the other.
For J.J., managing his mental health is not optional—it’s essential for endurance.
10. Your Story Can Change a Life—Even If It’s Just One
Why did J.J. come on the podcast? Not to be seen as brave. Not for attention. But for connection.
J.J. shared his hope for impact:
If I could share my story or experiences and it hits one person while they’re laying in bed at night or in the car ride going through thinking they are all alone in these thoughts, that’s everything I want to do.
As Terry eloquently put it:
JJ’s story and spirit and just him, his self needs to get out into the world because “Wow.”
Final Thoughts
J.J. Singleton is living on borrowed time—but he’s using that time wisely. His story isn’t just about survival; it’s about transformation. It’s about letting go of the myth that suffering should be hidden and shouldered alone. And it’s about showing up authentically, even when life hurts.
As Dr. Anita Sanz insightfully noted:
We are mind-body-connected beings. And so if something is affecting us mentally and emotionally, it’s also likely going to have an impact on our physical health and abilities. And the reverse is also true.
There’s profound wisdom in J.J.’s journey: that it’s okay to admit pain, okay to ask for help, and okay to find purpose even when the future is uncertain. His voice adds to the growing movement that insists mental health matters—especially when we’re at our most vulnerable.
Key Takeaways
To recap, here are the most important mental health lessons from J.J. Singleton’s story:
Therapy is not a last resort; it’s a life-saving tool.
Talking to a professional can provide relief, clarity, and validation—especially when emotions feel too heavy to carry alone.
Depression can accompany physical illness—and must be treated too.
The emotional toll of cancer can be just as devastating as the physical. Addressing both is essential.
Talking about suicidal thoughts can release their power.
Speaking fears out loud in a safe space helps reduce their intensity and opens the door to healing.
You don’t need hundreds of supporters—just a few who understand.
Peer support, even from just one person who “gets it,” can be life-changing.
Distraction and simple joys, like movies or books, can offer real relief.
Creating mental escapes, even for an hour a day, can make survival feel more possible.
Real strength is in reaching out, not muscling through.
Vulnerability is not weakness—it’s wisdom and self-preservation.
Masculinity must make room for emotional expression.
Silence can be fatal. Men need to know it’s okay to talk about their struggles.
Mental health care should be a standard part of medical treatment.
Patients deserve to be informed about and supported through the psychological effects of illness.
Your story has the power to change lives—maybe even save one.
Sharing lived experience can help someone feel seen, heard, and less alone.