Tag: Alcohol

Posted on

Addiction and Depression: Aaron’s 8 Ways to Find Hope and Transform Your Life

The journey through addiction and depression can feel like an unending night, where the light at the end of the tunnel is a cruel mirage. Yet, as countless individuals have discovered, and as Aaron eloquently shares, hope is not merely a wish; it’s a tangible outcome of courage and connection. His story, born from the depths of personal struggle and illuminated by the devastating loss of a loved one, offers a profound testament to the power of vulnerability, community, and unwavering commitment to self-care. It’s a journey from hidden shame to open acceptance, demonstrating that even when the path ahead seems impossible, there are guiding lights to lead the way.

1. The Unexpected Catalyst for Change: Finding Hope Amidst Loss

For many grappling with substance abuse, the realization that change is necessary often comes from a deeply personal and painful place. For Aaron, that catalyst arrived in the most tragic form: the overdose death of his cousin. “The day after Thanksgiving,” Aaron recounts, “I found out my cousin had overdosed on heroin and he died… Sunday I woke up and I said, I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to be the next one to die in our family.” This harrowing experience, while devastating, became the turning point that propelled him toward seeking help, despite his prior reluctance to admit his struggles.

Before this pivotal moment, Aaron, like many, held onto the belief that his drinking was merely a coping mechanism for sleep, an ingrained habit rather than a serious problem. He made “a million excuses why I wasn’t an alcoholic” and was “scared to admit that I was an alcoholic.” This internal conflict is a common thread in addiction, where denial acts as a powerful barrier to recovery. The loss of his cousin, however, shattered this denial, providing a stark and undeniable reflection of his own precarious situation. It was a wake-up call that forced him to confront the potential consequences of his unchecked substance use.

In a poignant admission, Aaron shares, “I didn’t think I was ready to be done drinking, but he was my hope.” This highlights a crucial aspect of recovery: sometimes, the impetus for change isn’t a sudden desire for sobriety, but an external force that, however painful, illuminates the urgency of the situation. His cousin, though absent, became a spiritual guide and a “higher power” in his recovery journey through Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). This unexpected source of hope underscores the profound impact that even difficult experiences can have in setting individuals on a path toward healing and self-discovery.

2. Unpacking the Intertwined Nature of Addiction and Mental Health

Aaron’s journey powerfully illustrates the inseparable link between substance use disorder and mental health challenges, specifically depression. While he initially sought help for his alcohol abuse, he readily acknowledges that depression played “a huge part of my story as well.” This duality is a common reality for many, where one condition often exacerbates or conceals the other. As the podcast host aptly puts it, “you can’t separate them… it’s trying to take the salt out of the stew to act like they’re different things.”

Aaron’s struggles with depression began at a young age, around 13 or 14, when he “didn’t feel normal” and even contemplated suicide. He initially sought therapy, but the discomfort of confronting his internal struggles led him to prematurely discontinue treatment. “It’s not comfortable feeling uncomfortable,” he admits, explaining how he told his parents he was no longer suicidal, even though he continued to struggle internally. This avoidance of discomfort later fueled his reliance on alcohol.

His drinking evolved from social high school experimentation to a deeply ingrained coping mechanism for his worsening depression. He describes a pervasive internal struggle, where his mind “doesn’t shut off” at night. Alcohol became a means to silence the relentless thoughts and induce sleep, a desperate attempt to find peace. “I just thought it was easier just to pick up a bottle and start drinking and eventually I would pass out,” he explains. This insidious cycle, where alcohol provided temporary relief while simultaneously deepening his depression, is a hallmark of co-occurring disorders. It wasn’t until he fully committed to addressing both his addiction and his mental health in rehab that he began to find genuine and sustainable relief.

Explore treatment options for alcohol addiction and depression.

3. The Progression of Addiction: From Social Drinking to Secret Shame

Aaron’s narrative provides a clear illustration of how addiction can insidiously take root and escalate. What began as casual social drinking in high school and college, where he “would get hungover and hated drinking,” gradually transformed into a pervasive and secretive habit. The shift occurred during his ten years living in Chicago, particularly while working at Cook County Juvenile Detention. The immense stress of his job, coupled with difficulties in his personal relationship, created fertile ground for his substance use to intensify.

His routine evolved into stopping at the grocery store for a pint of Fireball before even reaching home, a clear sign of escalating dependence. This marked the beginning of a descent into closet drinking, a common behavior among those struggling with addiction who wish to conceal the extent of their problem. He became “embarrassed of myself” and actively sought to avoid social situations where his drinking might be exposed. This clandestine consumption led to a life of constant deception.

The internal monologue of an active addiction is vividly portrayed by Aaron: “You would wake up and that’s kind of what was on your mind is when can I get my next drink?” During work, he would eagerly anticipate five o’clock, the moment he could escape to the liquor store. Even on weekends, his mornings began with immediate drinking, often leading to passing out by late morning and then resuming consumption in the afternoon. Despite this extreme pattern, he rationalized his behavior by pointing to his ability to maintain a job and avoid calling in sick. The perceived normalcy of his weekday drinking, which he believed “was only to help me sleep,” further masked the severity of his addiction. This deep dive into the inner workings of his addiction underscores the deceptive nature of the disease, where rationalization and secrecy become powerful tools for self-preservation, even as the addiction consumes one’s life.

4. The Transformative Power of Rehab: A Safe Haven for Vulnerability

Despite his initial apprehension, Aaron’s decision to enter rehab after his cousin’s death proved to be a pivotal turning point in his recovery. Within days of making the call to his sister, he was “flying out to California to go to rehab.” What he found there was a stark contrast to any preconceived notions he might have held about such facilities. Instead of a punitive or isolating environment, rehab became a “safe bubble” where vulnerability was not just accepted but encouraged.

“I didn’t know what rehab was going to be like,” Aaron explains, “And so when I went to rehab, it was just completely eye-opening that people were talking about their problems and that it was okay to be vulnerable and it was okay to share your story.” This revelation—the power of shared experience—was deeply impactful. As he listened to others’ stories, he found himself recognizing his own struggles reflected in their narratives, prompting the realization, “I need to be here.”

Rehab also served as his introduction to Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). Initially shy and unfamiliar with the program, he quickly embraced the principles of honesty and openness. The environment fostered a sense of belonging and understanding that had been sorely missing in his isolated existence. It was in this space that he learned fundamental truths that continue to guide his recovery: “That it’s okay to talk about being an alcoholic. It’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay to cry.” This profound shift from hiding his shame to embracing his truth was a cornerstone of his healing process, laying the groundwork for a life of authenticity and sobriety.

5. Building a Robust Recovery Toolbox: Strategies for Long-Term Sobriety and Mental Wellness

Recovery, as Aaron’s experience demonstrates, is an ongoing process that requires a multifaceted approach. He emphasizes the importance of having a diverse “toolbox” of strategies and resources to navigate the complexities of daily life while maintaining sobriety and managing mental health. At the core of his toolkit is the community and unwavering support of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). “The community of AA and the people that are in recovery,” he states, “have saved my life.” He fondly recalls the powerful message he received in early recovery: “We will love you till you can love yourself.” This unconditional acceptance and support proved vital in a time when he struggled to believe in his own worth.

Beyond the vital role of AA meetings and his sponsor, Aaron incorporates specific practices into his daily routine to combat depression. He highlights the importance of simple yet impactful actions, such as opening his shades immediately upon waking and making his bed. These seemingly small acts represent a deliberate rejection of the darkness and stagnation that characterized his depressed state. He actively seeks sunlight and outdoor experiences, recognizing their positive impact on his mood. “I need to go outside or I need to call one of my friends,” he explains, understanding the importance of connection and breaking cycles of isolation.

Crucially, Aaron emphasizes the proactive management of his depression through medication, a step he initially resisted but now embraces as essential. He also communicates openly with his wife about his mental state, ensuring he has support to prevent spiraling into negative thought patterns. This awareness of his triggers and the implementation of preventative measures are critical for his well-term mental wellness. His dedication to “running a program” for his alcohol recovery—attending meetings, staying in touch with his sponsor, and prioritizing his family—shows a comprehensive commitment to a healthy, sober life. These combined strategies underscore the fact that sustained recovery is not a singular event but a continuous journey of self-awareness, proactive care, and reliance on a supportive network.

6. Embracing the Present: Living 24 Hours at a Time

A fundamental principle guiding Aaron’s recovery is the practice of living “24 hours at a time.” This approach, deeply ingrained in AA philosophy, shifts the focus from overwhelming projections about the future to managing the present moment. For someone who once grappled with suicidal ideation and the constant obsession of addiction, this daily focus provides a manageable framework for sustained sobriety and mental well-being. “I don’t look too far ahead,” Aaron explains. “If I hit my head on the pillow at night and I’m sober, it’s a good day.”

This philosophy allows him to appreciate the simple joys and accomplishments of each day, rather than being burdened by anxieties about the distant future. It’s about finding gratitude in the small victories: “I got to give my son a kiss goodnight. I got to give my kiss, uh, wife a kiss goodnight.” These moments, once overshadowed by the darkness of addiction and depression, now represent the profound beauty of his recovered life.

Living in the present also empowers him to actively engage with his mental health. While he acknowledges that negative thoughts will “constantly come” due to his long history with depression, he has developed a strategy to counteract them: “Once a negative thought comes, I need to say a hundred positive things.” This demanding but essential practice reinforces his commitment to self-care and mental resilience. By staying present and continually working on himself, Aaron ensures he can “show up for myself” and, by extension, for his family. This mindful approach to life stands in stark contrast to his past, where he was consumed by shame, secrecy, and the relentless pursuit of his next drink.

7. The Liberation of Openness: Breaking the Chains of Shame and Isolation

One of the most transformative aspects of Aaron’s recovery has been the ability to shed the pervasive shame that once defined his existence. For years, he hid his struggles with both depression and alcohol, creating a dual life where his outward presentation masked intense internal turmoil. He would drink lightly with friends, only to return home and “always had a bottle at home” to satiate his anxiety and addiction. This constant deception was a heavy burden, fueled by embarrassment and a reluctance to admit his problems.

The contrast between his former isolated self and his current openness is striking. In AA, he finds a space where “I can go and I can share what’s on my mind, and you leave the meeting feeling a million times lighter.” This stark difference highlights the power of shared vulnerability and the supportive community that AA provides. He expresses a profound desire for a similar space for mental health journeys, recognizing the “so beneficial” impact it would have for “so many people just to let the slightest thing off their mind.”

Now, he talks freely and comfortably about being an alcoholic and managing his depression. This newfound openness is not only liberating for him but also serves as an inspiration to others. He is no longer “ashamed anymore” and understands that his past experiences have led him to a place of gratitude and authenticity. By sharing his story, Aaron actively works to prevent others from walking “in the shoes that I did for so many years.” The act of admitting his struggles has dissolved the shame, replacing it with a sense of purpose and a desire to help others find their own path to liberation and recovery. This profound shift from secrecy to transparency is a testament to the healing power of honesty and connection.

8. The Hopeful Horizon: A Life Reimagined

Aaron’s journey culminates in a life that, just a few years prior, seemed utterly unattainable. His addiction and depression had led him to a point where he genuinely “didn’t think that I was gonna be here when I was 35 years old.” Now, at 38, he celebrates his sobriety as a rebirth, likening it to “turned three years old.” This metaphor encapsulates the profound transformation he has undergone, a complete recalibration of his existence.

He reflects on the tangible blessings that have entered his life since embracing recovery: a wife, a two-and-a-half-year-old son, and a rekindled relationship with his family. During the depths of his addiction, he constantly “lied to ’em” and kept his distance, driven by a misguided desire to protect them from his self-destructive behavior. “I wanted to keep my distance because I didn’t wanna hurt him,” he recalls. Now, trust has been rebuilt, and he can confidently say he will “show up and they know that I’m gonna be there and I’m not lying about anything.” This honesty and reliability are gifts not only to his loved ones but also to himself, allowing him to “just live an honest life where it’s just not constant. Did I do this or did I do that?”

The internal shift is equally profound. While he continues to work on his depression in therapy, the “obsession of alcohol has been lifted,” allowing him to dedicate his energy to mental well-being. He recognizes that his negative thoughts are a battle he will face lifelong, but he now possesses the tools and the will to confront them. His gratitude for his current life is palpable, a stark contrast to the despair he once felt. Aaron’s story is a powerful reminder that even from the darkest depths, a life rich with purpose, love, and authenticity is not only possible but within reach for those willing to take the courageous step towards help.

Posted on

How Do I Know if I Need Mental Health and Addiction Treatment?

If you’re reading this, you might be wondering, “Do I need help?”

That question alone takes courage, and it could be the most important first step in your healing journey.

Acknowledging the need for mental health or addiction treatment is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of wisdom. It means you know something isn’t right, and that you might be open to change. 

Change is where healing begins.

When stress, anxiety, substance use, or feeling lost becomes overwhelming, it can be hard to know if you need professional help. This guide will help you recognize when it’s time to seek treatment and how to take that first step.

Illustration of a person with raised arms standing on a small island with a palm tree, accompanied by the text 'Asking for help isn't weakness—it's awareness.

Recognizing Signs and Symptoms

Recognizing when you need help is the first, and often hardest, step toward healing. 

It can be challenging to recognize the signs and symptoms of addiction1 and mental health conditions. But behavioral health experts say there are common indicators. Often, our loved ones or family members are the first to notice and point out changes. 

These warning signs typically fall into 3 main categories that affect how we act, feel, and function physically.

Behavioral, Emotional, and Physical Indicators

Mental health and substance use issues often show up in subtle ways at first. You might not even realize how much they affect your life until someone else points it out—or until it starts interfering with your peace. Over time, consequences can get more severe and start to impact your quality of life.2

Here are some red flags to watch for:

  • Withdrawing from friends, family, or favorite activities
  • Ongoing mood swings, anxiety, irritability, or deep sadness
  • Trouble sleeping, or sleeping too much
  • Significant weight loss or gain
  • Neglecting hygiene
  • Using substances (like alcohol, drugs, food, or even social media) to escape
  • Difficulty concentrating, staying motivated, or feeling hopeful
  • Feeling like life is overwhelming or not worth living

If you’re experiencing several of these symptoms, your mind and body may be signaling that it’s time for support.

Infographic showing 9 common signs you might need mental health or addiction treatment, displayed in a 3x3 grid with icons. Signs include: withdrawing from people or activities, hiding how you really feel, sleeping too much or too little, mood swings/anxiety/sadness, using substances to cope or escape, struggling to focus or feel hopeful, feeling overwhelmed or emotionally numb, loved ones noticing a change in you, and falling behind on tasks and routines. Illustration of a concerned person appears on the right side with exclamation points around them.

Self-Assessment Tools and Questions

If you’ve noticed potential warning signs, specific assessment tools can help you evaluate whether your symptoms warrant professional attention.

Note: These assessments should not replace a formal diagnosis, but your results may indicate whether it’s a good idea to seek a clinical evaluation. If your answers point to possible signs of addiction or mental health concerns, consider speaking with a professional for support or further evaluation.

Clinical Screening Tools for Self-Assessment

Healthcare providers commonly use the following evidence-based screening tools3 in treatment settings, but they’re also available for self-assessment. 

GAD-7: Generalized Anxiety Disorder 7-Item Scale

What it’s for: Screens for generalized anxiety disorder and assesses severity. Also effective at detecting panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, and PTSD.

How it’s used: Rate how often you’ve been bothered by anxiety symptoms over the past 2 weeks. Takes 2-3 minutes to complete.

Sample questions:

  • Feeling nervous, anxious, or on edge?
  • Not being able to stop or control worrying?
  • Trouble relaxing?

Where to find it: The GAD-7 is available online4 or through your healthcare provider.

Chart titled 'When Patterns Shift from Normal to Concerning' showing four examples of how behaviors can escalate on a spectrum from green (normal) to red (concerning). Examples include: occasional drinking to getting drunk daily, feeling down for a day to persistent hopelessness, losing focus sometimes to can't function at work or home, and needing alone time to withdrawing from everyone. Each row features an icon and a gradient bar showing the progression.

PHQ-9: Patient Health Questionnaire-9

What it’s for: Screens for depression based on DSM-5 criteria and assesses severity, including suicidal ideation.

How it’s used: Rate how often symptoms have affected you over the last two weeks. Takes 3-5 minutes to complete.

Sample questions:

  • Little interest or pleasure in doing things?
  • Feeling down, depressed, or hopeless?
  • Thoughts that you would be better off dead or hurting yourself?

Where to find it: The PHQ-9 is available online5 or through your healthcare provider.

CAGE Questionnaire (Cut Down, Annoyed, Guilty, Eye-Opener)

What it’s for: Brief screening tool to identify alcohol misuse.

How it’s used: Four yes-or-no questions that take about one minute to complete.

Sample questions:

  • Have you ever felt you should cut down on your drinking?
  • Have people annoyed you by criticizing your drinking?
  • Have you ever felt guilty about your drinking?
  • Have you ever had a drink first thing in the morning (eye-opener) to steady your nerves or get rid of a hangover?

Where to find it: The CAGE Questionnaire6 is available online or through your healthcare provider.

These self-assessment tools offer a quick, confidential way to evaluate whether you may benefit from professional support. While they don’t provide a diagnosis, they can identify concerning patterns and help guide your next steps.

Of course, taking an honest self-assessment requires acknowledging that there might actually be a problem, which isn’t always easy.

The Role of Denial and Minimization

Let’s be honest. It can be easy to talk yourself out of needing help.

Maybe you have said things like:

  • “It’s not that bad.”
  • “I can handle this on my own.”
  • “Other people have it worse.”

Minimizing or denying a problem is a common part of struggling with addiction or mental health concerns. It’s a way the mind tries to protect itself from pain by pretending things are fine. But most people underestimate how much their struggles are actually affecting their lives. Denial helps you feel in control, while minimizing sounds like “It’s not that bad” or “I can stop anytime”—but both can keep you from getting help when you need it most.

These thought patterns can delay help until a crisis occurs. But it’s important to remember that you don’t need to be in crisis to deserve support.

When “Functioning” Doesn’t Mean “Healthy”

You don’t need to lose your job, home, or relationships to require treatment. Many people with mental health or substance use disorders are still meeting their responsibilities at work or school. This is known as “high functioning.”7

Busting the Myth of the High-Functioning Addict

Not everyone struggling with addiction:

  • Drinks or uses in the morning
  • Gets a DUI
  • Misses work regularly

Not everyone with a mental health condition:

  • Experiences suicidal ideation
  • Has difficulty in social situations
  • Needs hospitalization

These things can and do happen for many people. However, addiction and mental illness look different for everyone. “Functioning” doesn’t mean your mental well-being is intact. High-functioning alcoholism, drug addiction, anxiety, or depression can fly under the radar for years. But that doesn’t mean you couldn’t benefit from treatment to improve your physical, mental, or spiritual well-being.

What Loved Ones Might Notice First

Sometimes, the people closest to us can see the signs before we’re ready to. It’s not because they’re trying to judge, it’s because they care. They know your usual patterns, and when something shifts, they notice.

Here are some common changes or warning signs8 loved ones or others closest to you, like family members or employers, may notice:

  • A drop in mood or energy: You may seem tired, irritable, or not yourself—even if you don’t realize it.
  • Changes in routine or motivation: Maybe you’re skipping work, sleeping all day, or losing interest in things you used to love.
  • Avoiding responsibilities or isolating: Pulling away from family, missing events, or spending long hours alone can be a red flag.
  • Unusual behavior or secrecy: Loved ones might notice you’re being vague, avoiding eye contact, or hiding parts of your day.
  • Increased substance use: They may comment on how much you’re drinking or using—and how it’s affecting your mood or relationships.
  • Emotional outbursts or numbness: Whether you’re snapping easily or seem checked out, they may sense something’s off emotionally.

Sometimes, these observations come as gentle concern. Other times, they may sound like frustration. Either way, don’t dismiss what your loved ones say, even if it’s hard to hear.

Why this matters:

When you’re in the middle of a mental health or addiction struggle, your view can get clouded. You might not notice how your habits or emotions have shifted. That’s why outside perspectives are valuable—they help you see what you might be missing.

What to do next:

  • Ask someone you trust: “Have you noticed any changes in me lately?”
  • Listen without defending. Just take it in with an open heart.
  • If several people have expressed concern, it’s worth exploring.

Remember: A loved one noticing a change in you or family members sharing a concern isn’t an accusation. It’s an invitation to check in with yourself and consider if help could make things better. Reaching out for support, including peer support, can be another helpful way to bring other people into what is going on in your life.

Next Steps if You’re Unsure

Olivia Mueller, VP of Research at Recovery.com, shares:

Trying to find substance abuse and mental health treatment that meets your needs can be overwhelming. Why? Well, one main reason is we often don’t know where to begin and we have misconceptions about ‘rehab’ and recovery. When someone breaks a bone, most of us laypeople have common knowledge about treatment protocol: See a doctor, get an X-ray, get a cast or sling to hold things in place to allow healing, go to follow-up appointments, and so on.

Yet, it’s not as simple when it involves questions about treatment for addiction or mental health. The journey ahead can feel overwhelming, but there can be a clear path forward and guidance when you feel unsure about the next steps for treatment.

If you’re still unsure whether you need help, consider talking to a mental health professional or health care provider. A diagnostic evaluation typically includes:

  • A review of your medical history
  • A mental health screening
  • Questions about alcohol use disorder, drug use, trauma, and mood
  • Referral to treatment programs, psychotherapy, or support groups

These assessments can be conducted through outpatient mental health services, inpatient programs, or telehealth.

If you’ve read this far, something inside you is reaching for hope—and that matters.

You don’t need to have it all together to ask for help. You just need to be willing to take one small step.

No matter where you are in the process, you’re not alone. Recovery is possible and there’s a community here to help you take the next step. Find qualified addiction treatment programs in your area that offer personalized care when you need it most.

FAQs

Q: What are the signs that a person may need addiction or mental health treatment?

A: Everyone struggles with their health from time to time, but if your symptoms persist for more than 2 weeks, interfere with your work or relationships, or you find yourself using substances to cope with daily stress, you may need professional addiction or mental health treatment. A professional assessment can help you accurately determine your treatment needs. Also note that you don’t have to be in severe distress or crisis to benefit from professional support: many people see therapists for maintenance, additional support through growth phases, or to work through less severe (but still important) issues.

Q: When should someone seek help for addiction or mental health?

A: If symptoms last more than 2 weeks, worsen over time, or affect your ability to function at home, work, or school, it’s a strong sign to reach out to a mental health professional or treatment provider. It is always recommended to seek outside support for symptoms of substance use disorder or mental health conditions. Determining risk factors or other symptoms through assessments can also be a helpful way to learn if you need outside support.

Q: How do I know if I need help with my mental health?

A: Ask yourself: Am I coping in healthy ways? Have others expressed concern? Am I feeling overwhelmed more often than not? If the answer is yes to any, consider taking a self-assessment or speaking to a provider.

Q: What qualifies as a serious mental illness?

A: Serious mental illnesses (SMIs) include conditions or mental disorders like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders, eating disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder, and major depression that significantly impair daily functioning. A formal diagnosis is made by a licensed mental health professional.

Q: How do I get addiction or mental health treatment?

A: You can start by talking to your therapist, healthcare provider, using a non-biased treatment finder like Recovery.com, or calling a helpline. Treatment may include talk therapy, medication, support groups, or outpatient services.

Q: What are the types of substance use disorder?

A: Substance use disorders can involve alcohol, opioids, stimulants, or other drugs. They range in severity and may include physical dependence, compulsive use, or co-occurring mental health conditions. The DSM-5-TR outlines criteria for specific mental health and substance use diagnoses. To better understand what you’re experiencing, you can take a self-assessment, complete a formal evaluation, or talk with a licensed treatment provider or health care professional. These steps can help clarify whether treatment would be beneficial.

Q: Can substance abuse treatment fail due to untreated mental health issues, or vice versa?

A: It’s common for mental illness and substance use to be interconnected. If one condition goes untreated, it can undermine recovery from the other. Integrated treatment is often the most effective. Talking to your treatment provider or health care provider about your concerns about co-occurring mental health and addiction is an important first step in preparing a comprehensive and effective treatment plan. 

Q: How can I tell if I need treatment for addiction?

A: Warning signs of addiction include cravings, loss of control, using despite consequences, a relapse or recurrence of use, or hiding your substance use. If you’re unsure, talk with a provider or complete a screening tool as a first step. Just asking the question may be an indicator that you already know something is not quite right, and that you want to change.

Q: How can I tell if my addiction requires professional treatment?

A: If your self-control is slipping, your health or relationships are suffering, or you’ve tried to stop and cannot, professional addiction treatment can provide structure, support, and lasting results. You have options: intensive residential programs, flexible outpatient treatment, family therapy, evidence-based behavioral therapies, and other specialized approaches that can be tailored to your specific situation and goals.

Posted on

What Kind of Treatment Do I Need? Understanding Levels of Care for Addiction and Mental Health Treatment

Trying to figure out what kind of treatment you need can feel like stepping into a maze. You might be asking: Do I need to detox first? Is inpatient too much? What even is PHP? If you’re feeling unsure or overwhelmed, you’re not alone—and you’re not doing anything wrong.

This guide is here to help you understand what your options actually look like in practice. From round-the-clock care to flexible weekly therapy, different levels of care are appropriate for different situations. Knowing how they work can make it easier to take the next step, whatever that looks like for you.

Infographic showing six treatment levels arranged around a compass: Medical Detox (24/7 medical care for withdrawal), Inpatient/Residential Treatment (live-in treatment with round-the-clock therapy), Partial Hospitalization Program (daytime outpatient care with high structure), Intensive Outpatient Program (part-time therapy balancing treatment with daily life), Outpatient Therapy (weekly one-on-one flexible support), and Virtual Care/Telehealth (online access to therapy and medication management).

Levels of Care Explained

Addiction treatment takes place on a continuum of care, with various levels of care designed to meet people where they are. Some offer 24/7 medical support. Others give you space to keep working or caring for family members while getting help. Stepped-down treatment options allow you to gradually introduce more and more responsibilities into your life as your mental health and confidence improve.  

Here’s what each one involves, so you can get a better sense of what best fits your life right now.

Medical Detox

  • Typical duration: 5–10 days
  • Hours per week: 24/7 care
  • Time of day: Day and night

If you’ve been using substances (especially alcohol, opioids, or benzodiazepines) regularly, stopping suddenly can result in severe, or even fatal, symptoms. Medical detox gives you a safe place to withdraw with trained staff on hand. A qualified treatment team will monitor your symptoms, help you manage pain or discomfort, and step in if any complications arise. 

This is often a preliminary step, prior to starting a comprehensive addiction treatment program, for people who are physically dependent on substances.

Learn more about what to expect in the detox process: See our detox FAQs.

Pie charts showing time commitment by treatment level: Inpatient/Residential Treatment requires 100% of time, Partial Hospitalization Program requires 18% of time, Intensive Outpatient Program requires 7% of time, and Outpatient Therapy requires 2% of time.

Residential or Inpatient Treatment

  • Typical Duration: 30–90 days
  • Hours per Week: 24/7 care
  • Time of Day: Day and night

In residential rehab, you live at a treatment facility while focusing entirely on recovery. It offers a structured environment and full daily schedule of therapy, group support, mental health care, and activities that help you build new coping tools. Many residential programs also incorporate family therapy. 

Because your meals, housing, and daily routine are all taken care of, you can put all your energy into getting better without juggling the pressures of work, school, or family obligations. It’s a space where your only job is to focus on your healing.

This level is a good fit if you need more acute care such as dual diagnosis or eating disorder treatment, or need space away from issues at home that may complicate your recovery.

Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP)

  • Typical Duration: 15–30 days
  • Hours per Week: 25–30 hours
  • Time of Day: Primarily during the day

A PHP (also known as day treatment) is one of the most intensive available outpatient services. You’ll spend most of your day at a treatment center for therapy, psychiatric care, and medical check-ins, then go home (or to sober housing) in the evening. For most people, the time spent at a PHP feels like the equivalent of a full-time job.

PHPs are a step down from inpatient care but still offer a high level of structure and support, especially if stabilization is still a concern.

Timeline showing progression through addiction treatment levels: Medical Detox (1 week) for safe opioid withdrawal, Inpatient Treatment (30 days) for space away from triggers, Intensive Outpatient Program (8 weeks) for continued support while returning to daily life, and ongoing Outpatient Therapy for stress management while staying connected to care.

Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP)

  • Typical Duration: 8–12 weeks
  • Hours per Week: 9–15 hours
  • Time of Day: Day or evening options

IOPs give you solid support without requiring you to put your life on hold. You’ll attend several individual and group therapy sessions each week, and may have access to medication management. The time commitment here is similar to a part-time job.

An IOP works well if you’re stepping down from a higher level of care, or if you’re juggling recovery with work, school, or family responsibilities.

Outpatient Therapy

  • Typical Duration: Ongoing or as needed
  • Hours per Week: 1–5 hours
  • Time of Day: Flexible

Outpatient therapy can be as simple as seeing a therapist once a week. Some people start here if their symptoms are mild; others continue therapy after completing a more structured program. It’s a space to keep working through triggers, rebuild relationships, and stay grounded in your recovery over time. You can choose a schedule that fits your daily life.

Warning signs indicating need for higher level addiction treatment: worsening symptoms, impaired daily functioning, relapse or increased use, failed outpatient attempts, social withdrawal, frequent crises or emergencies, inability to cope, and unsafe home environment. Illustrated with a figure climbing stairs representing treatment progression.

Sober Living or Transitional Living

  • Typical Duration: 1–12 months
  • Hours per Week: Independent, with optional meetings
  • Time of Day: Mostly daytime routines

Sober living homes are group environments where people in early recovery live together under shared rules. There’s no formal therapy, but you’ll usually have curfews, house meetings, and drug testing, as well as attending meetings and recovery-friendly activities outside the home. It’s a helpful bridge between structured treatment and living completely on your own—especially if your home environment poses challenges to your recovery.

Learn more about length of stay in different types of treatment in our article on how long rehab lasts.

Virtual Care (Telehealth)

  • Typical Duration: Varies by program
  • Hours per Week: 1–15 hours
  • Time of Day: Day or evening availability

Virtual care lets you access therapy, support groups, and even medication management from home. It’s especially useful if you live in a rural area, have mobility issues, or just need more flexibility. Some people use it to start treatment; others use it to stay connected to a sober support network after in-person care. As long as you have a phone or internet connection, you can access high-quality behavioral health care.

How to Know What’s Right for You

Choosing a treatment program is about finding what fits your circumstances and resonates with your approach to healing. Start by thinking about how withdrawal affects you, whether you’re also dealing with anxiety, depression, trauma, or other mental health disorders, and if you’ll have any specific needs while in treatment.

If you’re in crisis, can’t stop using on your own, or feel unsafe at home, inpatient care might be the most supportive place to begin. If you’re more stable or have responsibilities you can’t step away from, outpatient care may give you the balance you need.

There’s no wrong place to start. The most important thing is to start somewhere.

Do I Need Medical Supervision?

If you’ve ever had severe withdrawal symptoms (or you’re worried you might), it’s important to talk to an addiction specialist before you try to stop using on your own. Symptoms like seizures, hallucinations, or heart issues can be dangerous without medical support.

You might also need supervised care if you have certain medical needs such as a health condition that affects your recovery, or if you’re taking medications that could interact with withdrawal. Medical detox or inpatient treatment can give you safety and stability while your body adjusts.

Dual Diagnosis or Co-Occurring Disorders

If you’re struggling with both mental health and substance use, you’re not alone—and you’re not a problem to solve. A lot of people use substances to cope with depression, anxiety, trauma, or other emotional pain. But over time, that coping can create its own set of challenges.

When both are happening at once, it’s called a  co-occurring disorder. These situations often need integrated care: treatment that addresses mental health and substance use at the same time, not in separate silos.

Dual diagnosis treatment is available at most higher levels of care and some outpatient programs. If this applies to you, look for programs that offer addiction treatment, psychiatry, and trauma-informed support under one roof.

What an Intake Assessment Looks Like

Most treatment centers begin with an intake or admissions assessment to better understand your needs. This process typically includes two parts:

  1. A brief phone screening with an admissions advisor. This initial conversation covers basic information about your substance use, mental health, and immediate needs to determine whether the program is a good fit. It’s also your chance to get your questions answered.
  2. A more in-depth assessment once you arrive at the treatment center. This is usually conducted by medical and clinical staff and dives deeper into your medical history, substance use patterns, mental health conditions, living situation, and any safety concerns.

The goal is to get a full picture of your situation so the team can recommend the most appropriate level of care and build a personalized treatment plan. Clinicians often use tools like the ASAM Criteria1 (developed by the American Society of Addiction Medicine) and a biopsychosocial assessment to guide your treatment plan.

You don’t need to have all the answers going in, just be as honest as you can.

Adjusting Treatment Over Time

You don’t have to commit to one level of care forever; you’ll likely move through several stages of treatment as your needs change. For example, you might start with inpatient rehab as your primary care, then step down to a lower level of care like an IOP, then continue with weekly therapy while living in sober housing.

Recovery isn’t linear. You might go forward, take a step back, or ramp up your meetings or therapy sessions when you’re going through a hard time. That’s normal. What matters most is staying engaged and open to support, even when your path looks different than someone else’s.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

If you or your loved one are thinking about treatment, you don’t have to figure it all out alone. Rehab admissions advisors are usually happy to walk you through your options and help you find a level of care that fits your individual needs.

Use Recovery.com to explore treatment centers near you. You can compare programs, read about their services, and reach out directly.

The right kind of support is out there—you just have to ask for it.

FAQs

Q: What are the levels of care in addiction treatment?

A: Levels of care in addiction treatment include medical detox, inpatient or residential rehab, partial hospitalization programs (PHP), intensive outpatient programs (IOP), sober living, individual therapy, and virtual or telehealth services.

Q: When do you need inpatient treatment?

A: Inpatient addiction treatment is best when you need 24/7 support, can’t stay sober on your own, or are dealing with complex mental health or medical issues.

Q: How does outpatient substance use treatment work?

A: Intensive outpatient programs (IOPs) offer therapy and support on a set schedule—often a few times a week—so you can keep living at home while receiving a high level of therapy and support.

Q: Who needs residential treatment?

A: Residential care is ideal for people who need structure, distance from triggers, or support for a co-occurring substance use disorder and mental health condition.

Q: How long do you need to be in outpatient treatment?

A: It varies. Some people stay for a few weeks while others find long-term support helpful. Your treatment team can help you determine your timeline based on your needs and healing progress.

Q: How do I choose the right level of care for my treatment needs?

A: Your treatment provider can help you determine what level of care you need via an intake assessment. How much support you need will likely depend on your daily functioning, withdrawal risk, mental health, and living environment. When it comes to addiction and mental health treatment, your safety and well-being come first.

Posted on

Kat Sorensen Journey from Chaotic Addiction to Thriving Powerhouse

The path to recovery is rarely straight. For many, it’s a winding road filled with detours, unexpected turns, and moments of profound clarity. Kat Sorensen, CEO of Laguna Shores Treatment Center, founder of Chains to Change, and content creator known as SoCalKattt, embodies this journey. With nearly a decade of sobriety, Kat’s story is a powerful testament to healing with compassion, structure, and integrity, highlighting the transformative power of community in achieving lasting recovery.

Kat’s story, shared on Recoverycast with host Brittani Baynard, offers invaluable insights into the insidious nature of addiction and the profound liberation that comes with confronting it head-on. From a high-performing tech sales executive and competitive bodybuilder battling alcohol and prescription drug addiction to a beacon of hope in the recovery community, Kat’s experiences illuminate key aspects of addiction and the recovery process.

Unraveling the Roots of Early Addiction

Kat’s journey began not in a tumultuous home, but in a stable, middle-class environment with loving parents. Yet, from a young age, a profound sense of loneliness and discomfort in her own skin shadowed her. This internal struggle became the fertile ground for addiction to take root.

Her first experience with alcohol at age 12 was a revelation. While her friends sipped, Kat “gulp[ed] as fast as [she could].” The immediate effect was a powerful sense of peace and belonging. “As soon as I started to feel this, like, it was like this piece,” she recalls. “It was like, oh my god. I’ve been waiting for this for like 10 years. Like, I have needed this for like 10 years, and I started to really feel okay in my own skin.” This early experience, coupled with a fantastical first kiss, cemented alcohol’s association with ultimate relief and desire fulfillment.

This narrative highlights a critical point: addiction often stems from an attempt to self-medicate underlying emotional pain or discomfort. Even in the absence of overt trauma, feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, or an inability to cope with intense emotions can drive individuals toward substances that offer temporary solace. Kat’s story underscores that a seemingly perfect upbringing doesn’t inoculate against these internal struggles.

The Chameleon Effect: Mastering High-Functioning Addiction

A hallmark of Kat’s early addiction was her ability to maintain a double life. As a varsity athlete who also frequented parties, she became adept at being a “chameleon,” seamlessly blending into different social circles and managing her substance use while excelling in other areas of her life. This early mastery of high-functioning addiction allowed her to rationalize and conceal the growing problem.

She learned to manage her alcohol consumption alongside her responsibilities as an athlete and student. This ability to appear functional, even successful, on the surface is a common characteristic of high-functioning addicts. It often delays intervention because the outward signs of struggle are not immediately apparent. Kat’s experience demonstrates how early in life, individuals can develop sophisticated coping mechanisms that, while allowing them to navigate daily life, simultaneously entrench their addictive behaviors. This period of her life underscores the deceptive nature of addiction – it can thrive in the shadows of apparent normalcy.

The Illusion of a “God-Shaped Hole” and the Reality of Untreated Addiction

In her late teens, Kat experienced a profound spiritual transformation. Attending church and embracing a new community, she found a sense of belonging and peace that initially mirrored the relief she sought from alcohol. She married young, eschewed drinking, and for a time, found solace in her faith. However, this period also revealed a critical insight into untreated addiction: it often manifests in other behaviors.

Kat stopped drinking in college but began running “insane” distances—10, 12, even 15 miles a day. This seemingly healthy activity became a new outlet for her unaddressed inner turmoil. As she aptly puts it, “I just transferred my addiction to that.” This phenomenon, known as cross-addiction or addiction transfer, is common in untreated individuals. If the underlying spiritual, emotional, or psychological issues driving the addiction are not addressed, the addictive energy will simply find a new outlet.

The Misconceptions of Alcoholism: Beyond Daily Drinking

When her first husband suggested she was an alcoholic, Kat dismissed it. Her understanding of alcoholism, like many, was narrow: “people imagine an alcoholic is somebody who drinks daily, someone who, um, gets DUIs. Someone who can’t hold a normal job, someone who can’t graduate from school, somebody who can’t be in a normal relationship.” She could go months without drinking, seemingly disproving his assertion.

This common misconception underscores the subtle and pervasive nature of the disease. Alcoholism isn’t solely defined by the frequency or quantity of consumption, but by the mental obsession and loss of control once drinking begins. Kat’s frustration with only having “one glass of wine” and the subsequent “mental gymnastics” she underwent to get more perfectly illustrate this point.

“That is the allergy of alcoholism is that one drink sets off the mental obsession,” Kat clarifies. This “allergy,” unlike a physical reaction to shellfish, manifests in the mind, making self-diagnosis crucial. Only the individual truly understands the compulsive thoughts and behaviors triggered by that first drink.

Explore alcohol addiction treatment options.

The Progression of the Disease: From “College Thing” to Catastrophe

After a period of sobriety, Kat returned to drinking during a sales conference, rationalizing it as a way to fit in with her new corporate environment. This return, however, was not a gentle reintroduction but a re-ignition of the “allergy.”

“That thing that has been waiting for me because my disease of alcoholism is progressive. It’s fatal. It wants me dead, but it will settle for me drunk,” Kat powerfully states. This progressive nature meant that her addiction picked up precisely where it left off, quickly escalating. What began as an innocent “open bar” soon led to blackouts, infidelity, and the breakdown of her marriage. The consequences mounted, proving that once the “allergy” is triggered, it reasserts its power, often with greater intensity.

Kat’s repeated attempts to externalize the problem—blaming her job, her marriage, even her age—are characteristic of addiction. The thought of stopping drinking was never an option, even in the face of devastating consequences.

Geographical Cures and the Persistence of the Problem

In a desperate attempt to salvage her marriage and escape the spiraling consequences of her drinking, Kat quit her job and moved to a small mountain town, believing a change of scenery would solve her problems. This concept of a “geographical cure” is a common but ultimately futile strategy in addiction.

As Kat quickly discovered, “we believed that a move would change me and within like, I don’t know, maybe the first two months of being there, I’m doing cocaine with my client.” The external change failed to address the internal struggle. Addiction isn’t about location; it’s about the individual’s relationship with substances and their underlying coping mechanisms. No matter where Kat went, her untreated addiction followed, only escalating in severity, from alcohol to cocaine and eventually Molly. This illustrates that true recovery requires an internal shift, not just an external relocation.

Lowering Standards and the Deceptive Nature of Active Addiction

As Kat’s addiction progressed, her moral compass began to spin wildly out of control. Her candid admission, “lowering my standards faster than I could violate them,” perfectly captures the destructive trajectory of active addiction. The values and boundaries she once held dear eroded, replaced by a relentless pursuit of the next high.

“The things that I said I would never do, I was doing on a daily basis,” she recounts. This includes running off to Mexico with a stranger, using drugs daily at work, and even transporting illegal substances on planes. The sheer recklessness and disregard for personal safety highlight the profound cognitive distortions that occur in active addiction. The disease’s grip becomes so strong that it overrides reason, self-preservation, and personal integrity. Kat’s ability to maintain a veneer of functionality while engaging in increasingly dangerous behaviors underscores the deceptive power of addiction.

The Necessity of Confrontation and the Power of External Intervention

Even as her life spiraled, Kat’s cunning enabled her to navigate increasingly perilous situations, from driving intoxicated to transporting drugs. She believed a move to California and a fresh start would finally be the answer. Yet, even as she unloaded her belongings, the lure of old habits presented itself.

What finally broke the cycle wasn’t self-will or another geographical cure, but the intervention of someone who forced her to slow down and confront her reality. “Someone made you slow down. Yes. Someone made you slow down. Yes. And do something I didn’t want to do,” Kat admits. This external push, often from a sponsor, therapist, or loved one, is frequently a catalyst for change. It’s a moment where the addict is no longer able to outrun or rationalize their disease and is compelled to look inward. For Kat, this meant confronting the deeply ingrained patterns of self-will and beginning the rigorous process of self-inventory.

The Role of Community and Compassion in Healing

Kat’s journey through the 12-Step program and her current role in the recovery community underscore the vital role of community, compassion, and integrity in lasting recovery. When she initially sought help, her instinct was to escape her marriage. But her sponsor, recognizing the self-will driving this decision, urged her to pause and do the hard work of inventory. This gentle yet firm guidance prevented a rash decision and initiated a deeper healing process.

Today, Kat leads Laguna Shores Treatment Center and has founded Chains to Change, an online community dedicated to recovery. These initiatives highlight her commitment to providing the same support and structure that were instrumental in her own sobriety. Recovery is not a solitary endeavor; it thrives in environments of shared experience, mutual support, and non-judgmental guidance. The ability to connect with others who understand the struggle and to give back to the recovery community is a powerful aspect of maintaining sobriety and fostering sustained well-being.

Recovery: A Continuous Journey of Small, Consistent Steps

Kat Sorensen’s story is a powerful reminder that recovery is a dynamic, lifelong process built on small, consistent steps. From the initial “24 hours at a time” to the ongoing commitment to self-reflection and community engagement, each decision contributes to a life of sobriety and fulfillment. Her transformation from a high-functioning addict to a compassionate leader in the recovery field demonstrates that even from the darkest places, healing and transformation are possible.

Recovery.com is a valuable resource for anyone seeking mental health or addiction treatment options. You can filter by location, price, insurance coverage, therapy type, mental health condition, levels of care, and more, making it easier to find the right support for anyone, anywhere.

Posted on

How Do You Help Someone With an Addiction? 8 Actionable Steps to Support Recovery

Recognizing when a loved one is struggling with substance use can be confusing, heartbreaking, and overwhelming. You may feel desperate to help, but unsure of how to do so without enabling their behavior or pushing them away. 

Fortunately, with patience, compassion, information, and evidence-based strategies, it’s possible to support someone through the recovery process.

1. Recognize the Signs of Addiction in Others

Addiction isn’t always obvious. While some people display clear warning signs, others—especially people with high-functioning addiction—may mask their struggles with problematic drug use or addiction behind a facade of normalcy.

Common signs of addiction1 include:

  • Behavioral red flags: Secrecy, denial, impulsivity, lying, or missing obligations
  • Emotional signs: Mood swings, irritability, anxiety, or depression
  • Physical indicators: Weight changes, bloodshot eyes, slurred speech, or poor hygiene

In people with high-functioning addiction,2 drug or alcohol use may remain hidden due to career success or social engagement. However, you might still notice subtle patterns related to behavioral health like isolation, frequent “bad days,” or noticeable shifts in demeanor. Many also exhibit a cycle of justification, denial, or defensiveness.

For children or young adults,3 these common signs can also include changes in friend groups, a decrease in participation in school functions or extracurriculars, or changes in grades and academic performance.

Two people walking together with one holding a flashlight that creates a beam of light on the path ahead, illustrating supportive companionship in addiction recovery

2. Understand There Is a Why Behind Substance Use

People don’t usually turn to drugs or alcohol just because they’re bored, they use substances to cope with pain, trauma, or emotional overwhelm. Addiction often starts as a form of control of a seemingly uncontrollable situation. 

Substances may offer short-term relief from anxiety, depression, loneliness, or past wounds. In the beginning, the ability to change how you feel with a drink or a pill can seem empowering. But over time, that temporary sense of control, however, can turn into dependency and eventually, loss of control.

Understanding this doesn’t mean you’re excusing the behavior, but it does help you meet your loved one with greater compassion. It shifts the conversation from:

  • “Why don’t you just stop?” to “What are you trying to escape or manage?” 
  • “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened?”

Most people with substance use disorder are carrying deep emotional burdens. Recognizing the underlying why behind their substance use can guide more effective, empathetic support and help you focus not just on the behavior or coping mechanism,4 but the pain beneath it.

3. Educate Yourself About the Science of Addiction

Addiction may not have a one-size-fits-all cure, but with the right knowledge and support, you can be better prepared to support a loved one. One of the most empowering steps you can take is to understand what addiction really is.

Addiction is a chronic brain disease,5 not a moral failing or a lack of willpower. Long-term substance use changes how the brain communicates, especially in areas related to reward, decision-making, and impulse control. This disruption often stems from changes in neurotransmitters like dopamine, which plays a major role in pleasure and motivation.

At first, for your loved one, using substances may feel like a choice, but over time, the brain rewires itself, increasing tolerance and craving while decreasing natural dopamine production. That’s when people often feel “trapped”—not weak, but physically and mentally hooked.

Understanding these biological realities6 helps reduce blame and increases compassion. It also reminds us that support, grace, and education are crucial parts of the healing process.

Infographic showing 5 steps to support a loved one through addiction: 1) Educate yourself, 2) Choose the right moment, 3) Express concern, 4) Offer options not ultimatums, 5) Take care of yourself too. Includes illustration of two people embracing in support.

4. Learn the Dos and Don’ts of Supporting Someone in Addiction

Loving someone with an addiction requires empathy, education, and strong boundaries. You might be feeling helpless, but there are things you can do. Here are some practical ways to offer support:

Do:

  • Listen with compassion. Let them talk openly and acknowledge what they’re feeling without judgment.
  • Set healthy boundaries. Set clear limits around what you’re able to offer and follow through.
  • Learn about addiction and recovery. Understanding substance use, withdrawal, and treatment options can help you support them better.
  • Celebrate progress. Encourage small steps forward and remind them that change takes time.

Don’t

  • Don’t enable or protect them from consequences. Covering up, making excuses, or giving money can unintentionally prolong the problem.
  • Don’t give ultimatums before they’re ready. Lasting change usually starts with internal motivation, not outside pressure.
  • Don’t blame yourself. Their choices are not your fault, even when it’s hard to watch.
  • Don’t expect them to quit cold turkey. Sudden withdrawal from substances like alcohol or benzodiazepines can cause death without medical support.

Supporting someone who’s struggling with addiction7 can be emotionally draining. It’s important to keep in mind that you matter, too. It’s important to care for your own heart and well-being as you walk alongside your loved one.

You won’t be able to fix everything and that’s okay. Healing is a long road, and it’s not your job to carry it all.

Set boundaries that protect your peace. If a conversation becomes too intense, give yourself permission to step away. A simple pause can make space for clarity, calm, and compassion. Come back when you’re ready with a clearer mind and a softer heart.

And remember: you don’t have to be involved in every part of their journey. Showing up consistently in small, healthy ways often speaks louder than trying to do it all.

Infographic comparing enabling vs. supporting someone with addiction. Enabling behaviors include giving money, ignoring warning signs, taking on their obligations, and making excuses. Supporting behaviors include encouraging treatment, listening with empathy, setting healthy boundaries, and celebrating recovery wins.

5. Understand How to Talk to Someone About Their Addiction

Confronting someone about their substance use is difficult, but it can also be a turning point. To have the best outcome, choose a calm, private setting and use non-threatening language.

Pam Lanhart, Founder and Director of Thrive Family Recovery Services shares:

First, we need to listen to our loved ones well and listen for language that might indicate that they are getting tired of the way things are. Then we validate that and ask them what it might look like to do something different. ‘What step do you think you might be able to take to move forward?’

We need to be patient and let them feel like they have agency in these decisions.  Walking with them while they figure things out is critical. And of course, we can’t do that if we don’t have boundaries. I love language such as ‘say more about that,’ or ‘Can you tell me more?’ or ‘I’m trying to understand. Can you explain?’ Just listen and be curious because they know what they need and will often come to the conclusion themselves.

Here are a few brief conversation tips that can help you as you communicate with your loved one who may be struggling with an addiction.

Conversation Tips

  • Start with an “I” statement: “I’ve noticed you seem stressed lately, and I’m worried about you.”
  • Express concern, not control: “I care about your well-being and want to help.”
  • Avoid labels like “addict” or “junkie,” which can cause shame or defensiveness.

Timing matters. Choose a moment when they’re sober and not in a state of crisis or withdrawal.

6. Decide When and How to Encourage Treatment

Suggesting treatment should be a compassionate invitation, not a demand. If the person is open to help, present options like:

  • Speaking with a mental health professional or healthcare provider
  • Considering inpatient or outpatient addiction treatment programs
  • Exploring evidence-based options such as behavioral therapy, medication-assisted treatment, detox, or other types of medical treatment
  • Encouraging holistic wellness and recovery support services

It’s normal for people to resist the idea at first. Ambivalence doesn’t mean they’re not willing—it often means they’re afraid or unsure of what recovery entails.

How do people change? Over time. With stops and starts, along a crooked line. With practice. With ambivalence. More often than not, without formal help. When the trade-offs seem worth it. With a little help—sometimes a lot of help—from friends and family. With anguish. With effort. With joy.

― Jeffrey Foote, PhD., Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change8

7. Know What to Do if They Refuse Help

Refusal doesn’t mean you should give up. Harm reduction strategies9 can keep your loved one safer, sometimes easing cravings, while leaving the door open for change:

  • Encourage safer practices (like not mixing substances and using clean supplies)
  • Stay emotionally available without enabling
  • Know your limits and take care of yourself

You might need to seek your own mental health support or attend family therapy to cope with feelings of guilt, anger, or helplessness. That’s okay. Recognizing that addiction impacts the entire family and not just the person struggling is key to a healthy recovery journey for everyone.

8. Get Familiar With Resources for Families and Friends

Support services exist for those affected by a loved one’s addiction.10 You are not alone.

  • Al-Anon and Nar-Anon: Peer-led groups for family and friends
  • SMART Recovery Family & Friends: Offers tools based on cognitive behavioral therapy
  • SAMHSA resources that define and discuss recovery principles and supports
  • Books and podcasts that explore addiction and family dynamics
  • Helplines that provide 24/7 support
  • Therapy with a mental health professional familiar with substance use disorders

Helping someone with drug use, drug addiction, or alcohol use isn’t about fixing them—it’s about walking beside them, with compassion and hope. Whether they’re seeking professional help or resisting treatment options, your role matters. Take steps to protect your own well-being, stay informed, and know that recovery is possible for your family member—even when the road is long.

Connect With Professional Support

Ready to connect your loved one with professional help? Find qualified addiction treatment programs in your area that offer personalized care and proven recovery methods.

FAQs

Q: What should you not say to someone who has an addiction?

A: Avoid blaming, shaming, or using stigmatizing terms like “junkie” or “addict” when talking to or about your family member.  Phrases like “just stop” or “you’re ruining everything” often shut down communication. Focus instead on expressing care and concern while encouraging effective treatment options.

Q: How can I help without enabling?

A: Helping without enabling means supporting their recovery, not their addiction. Avoid giving money, covering up consequences, or making excuses. Instead, offer emotional support, resources, and healthy boundaries.

Q: What are some ways to help people who are suffering from addiction?

A: You can help by listening without judgment, offering treatment options, and encouraging small steps toward change. Support groups, harm reduction strategies, and family therapy can also make a difference.

Q: What is substance use disorder (SUD)?

A: A substance use disorder is a medical condition characterized by an uncontrollable urge to use drugs or alcohol despite negative consequences. It affects brain function and behavior and often requires comprehensive treatment.

Q: How do I get a loved one to admit they have a problem?

A: Use “I” statements to express concern, avoid confrontational language, and choose a calm moment to talk. Understand that denial is common and change takes time.

Q: How do I know if someone needs help for their drug or alcohol use?

A: Warning signs of alcohol addiction or other drug abuse include neglecting responsibilities, changes in mood or behavior, secrecy, physical deterioration, and an inability to stop despite consequences. A professional assessment can clarify their needs.

Q: Is there a good way to convey addiction concerns to a family member or friend?

A: Yes. Speak from a place of compassion using statements like, “I’ve noticed some changes and I’m worried.” Choose a quiet time, avoid judgment, and be prepared for resistance.

Q: Are you covered for addiction treatment?

A: Many insurance plans cover addiction treatment, including inpatient, outpatient, and therapy options. Check with your insurance provider or rehab admission team for guidance on available coverage.

Q: What are effective ways to support someone in recovery from addiction?

A: Offer encouragement, celebrate milestones, be patient during setbacks, and avoid substances around them. Attending support groups together and staying informed can strengthen your role in their recovery. Encouraging effective treatment plans that address not only substance use, but also co-occurring mental health conditions, is important.

Q: What steps can I take to support someone seeking addiction recovery?

A: Help research treatment options, provide transportation or childcare if needed, and support attendance in therapy or peer groups. Remind them that recovery is a journey, not a destination.

Posted on

Gabbie Egan’s Journey Through Bipolar Disorder and Alcohol and Marijuana Addiction Recovery

Gabbie Egan’s story is a powerful and candid exploration of the interconnectedness of mental health and substance use. Her journey, marked by early exposure to drugs and alcohol, a teenage pregnancy, and an eventual diagnosis of bipolar I disorder, offers a deeply personal insight into the complexities of recovery. Gabbie’s unflinching honesty about her struggles and triumphs serves as a beacon of hope, demonstrating that even through multiple setbacks, sustained effort can lead to profound healing and self-acceptance.

The Early Seeds of Struggle: Childhood and Adolescent Experiences

Gabbie’s introduction to substance use began at a remarkably young age, rooted in a combination of environmental factors and personal vulnerabilities. Growing up in a part of North Carolina with limited recreational outlets, drug and alcohol use became a prevalent coping mechanism among her peers. “I’m from a part of North Carolina where it’s like there’s nothing to do,” Gabbie recounts, “And so the only thing that people are really doing to keep themselves occupied is like getting messed up.”

Her home environment, while loving, also contributed to a sense of unmonitored freedom. With parents deeply engrossed in their careers, Gabbie, an only child, was often left to her “own devices.” This lack of direct parental supervision, combined with a pre-existing sadness, created fertile ground for experimentation. She began with cough medicine in sixth grade, quickly escalating to marijuana and prescription pills like Vicodin by the age of 11 or 12. This early exposure to various substances at such a formative age significantly shaped her developing brain and laid the groundwork for future struggles.

Beyond the external influences, Gabbie also grappled with internal battles. She describes herself as “a very sad kid” who experienced bullying and felt she never truly fit in. Her expulsion from Christian school in sixth grade after piercing her belly button further isolated her and plunged her into an environment where she was “in a pretty low place ever since I was a child.” Her mother, a loving but misguided figure, dismissed her emotional struggles, attributing them to a lack of gratitude or a “made-up” mental illness. This invalidation of her feelings compounded Gabbie’s internal turmoil and prevented her from seeking the help she desperately needed. As Gabbie poignantly shares, “My mom doesn’t believe in mental illness. And so that’s tough because then, yeah.”

The Unveiling of Bipolar Disorder: A Diagnosis and a Family Legacy

The first hint of Gabbie’s underlying mental health condition emerged at 16, following a severe alcohol-related incident. After blacking out and requiring a stomach pump, she was court-ordered to see a mental health specialist. It was during this session that a therapist suggested she might have bipolar I disorder. The therapist explained that bipolar I is characterized by “high highs of extreme mania and then extremely low lows that last and extended like a certain amount of time.” This explanation deeply resonated with Gabbie, as it accurately described her volatile emotional landscape. “I’m either extremely low, like, you know, on the verge of like wanting to literally end my life or, um, you know, extremely high thinking, I am Jesus, you know?” she candidly admits.

Despite this crucial insight, her mother’s continued denial of mental illness led Gabbie to dismiss the diagnosis at the time. “My mom’s like, this is just how they get you in the system. They’re trying to medicate you,” Gabbie recalls. This dismissal, coupled with a lack of proper follow-up, meant that Gabbie continued to navigate her life unmedicated and without professional support for her burgeoning mental health challenges.

Years later, a more definitive diagnosis of bipolar I disorder would come after another significant incident in Las Vegas. During what she believes was a manic episode, Gabbie experienced a blackout and woke up in jail in a straightjacket, unable to recall the events that led her there. This terrifying experience, combined with the intense public scrutiny and hate she received online, propelled her to seek help on her own terms. It was through this process that she received an official diagnosis and began to truly understand the nature of her condition.

This second, undeniable encounter with her diagnosis allowed her to confront the reality of her mental health, a reality her grandmother had hinted at, revealing a family history of untreated mental illness. “I had went to my grandmother, who I’m really close with, and I had told her and she said, I think that that’s what my mom had,” Gabbie shares, adding, “My grandmother’s mom actually ended up jumping off of a bridge or off of a building in France when she was growing up and committed suicide because she had so many untreated mental health conditions.” This generational understanding provided a crucial piece of the puzzle, helping Gabbie contextualize her own struggles and recognize that her experiences were not merely “crazy” but rooted in a legitimate medical condition.

Explore bipolar disorder treatment options.

The Intertwined Paths of Substance Use and Mental Health

Gabbie’s narrative vividly illustrates the intricate relationship between substance use and mental health. Her early experimentation with drugs and alcohol served as a form of self-medication for her untreated depression and the chaotic emotional swings of undiagnosed bipolar disorder. The substances provided a temporary escape from the pain, isolation, and overwhelming feelings she couldn’t articulate or understand.

Her pregnancy at 13, giving birth just before turning 14, further intensified her struggles. As a teen mom, Gabbie faced immense pressure and isolation. She juggled high school, childcare, and the emotional burden of being an outcast among her peers. While she excelled as a mother to her son, other aspects of her life crumbled. “Everything else in my life would be completely falling apart. And every aspect. I was a horrible friend. I was a horrible partner. I was a horrible daughter to my parents. Just ’cause I was just like so just like in the trenches, but I was a great mom to my son,” she reflects.

During periods when her son was with his grandparents, Gabbie would resort to heavy drinking, often to the point of blacking out. These episodes were a desperate attempt to cope with the immense emotional distress and the deep void she felt. The incident at 16, where she was found unconscious and her stomach pumped, was a direct consequence of this self-destructive pattern.

Even joining the military at 17, an attempt to “fix” herself, didn’t provide the escape she hoped for. “Substance abuse just followed me into the military,” she admits. Her ability to function, even at the height of her addiction, is a testament to the high-functioning nature often seen in individuals with underlying mental health conditions. She graduated high school a year early, maintaining her academic responsibilities while engaging in significant substance abuse. “People don’t think that you can be functioning, but you can, you can do everything that you’re supposed to be doing and you can show up in every single way,” Gabbie emphasizes, recounting how she would complete school papers while “tripping balls” on acid. This period underscores the dangerous dance between her mental health challenges and her substance use, where each exacerbated the other, creating a vicious cycle.

Navigating Mania and Depression: The Bipolar Experience

Gabbie’s account of living with bipolar I disorder provides a raw and honest glimpse into the extremes of the condition. She describes her manic episodes as periods of intense energy and productivity, often accompanied by a feeling of invincibility. “I have all these ideas and I’m just like, I can stay up for days straight working on a project, a new project, a new business idea, a new something,” she explains. However, these highs are often accompanied by erratic and risky behaviors, including her two arrests, which she believes occurred during manic states. “The things that I have gotten myself into when I feel like I’m the hottest shit. I mean, I’ve gone to jail two times and I, I do believe that both of the times that I went to jail, I was like in a manic episode,” she reveals. During these manic phases, sleep becomes minimal or nonexistent, and she often reaches a state of “blackout” where she has no recollection of her actions.

The crash that follows these manic highs is equally debilitating. Gabbie describes it as a complete physical and emotional collapse, leaving her “completely debilitated.” The overwhelming feeling of paralysis, the inability to move forward with the projects started during mania, is a common experience for individuals with bipolar disorder. “It’s like now I’m halfway through all these projects and I have no energy for anything anymore, and I can’t do anything. And I just feel stuck,” she articulates, likening it to ADHD paralysis where the sheer volume of tasks leads to an inability to start any of them.

Gabbie’s journey with medication also highlights the complexities of treatment for bipolar disorder. While acknowledging that medication is beneficial for many, she shares her personal struggles with various prescriptions like Seroquel and Abilify. These medications, while addressing some symptoms, often left her feeling “like I wasn’t even human anymore,” turning her into a “zombie” or making her feel “boring.” This experience underscores the importance of individualized treatment plans and the ongoing search for the right balance between managing symptoms and maintaining a sense of self.

The Path to Recovery: Resilience, Acceptance, and Self-Worth

Despite the numerous setbacks and deep troughs of despair, Gabbie’s story is ultimately one of remarkable resilience and a profound journey toward self-acceptance. Her early and repeated failures in attempts at sobriety ultimately paved the way for a lasting recovery. “It doesn’t matter how many times you’re trying to recover, as long as you’re putting in the effort one day, it will stick if you really want it,” she advises, a testament to her own experience. She has learned to reframe failures not as endpoints, but as integral parts of her process, emphasizing that “you can fail a million times and still try again.”

Gabbie’s recovery extends beyond sobriety; it encompasses a deeper understanding and management of her bipolar disorder. She has learned to recognize the onset of her manic and depressive episodes, developing coping mechanisms to navigate them. This self-awareness allows her to mitigate the impact of the extreme highs and lows, recognizing when she needs to slow down or when she needs to push through the paralysis of depression by taking small, actionable steps.

Crucially, Gabbie has learned to distinguish between understanding her diagnosis and using it as an excuse for harmful behavior. While acknowledging that bipolar disorder explains certain aspects of her actions, she asserts, “it doesn’t excuse all my actions.” This mature perspective allows her to take accountability for her behavior while still working to manage her condition. She recognizes that the goal is not to eliminate the “crazy” but to “learn to manage that rather than make excuses for that.”

Today, Gabbie is a recovery advocate who openly shares her story, creating a space for others to find solace and understanding. She is a testament to the power of authentic vulnerability, demonstrating that healing is not about becoming a perfect version of oneself, but about embracing all facets of one’s experience. Her journey of “coming undone and rebuild[ing], to tell the truth out loud, and to never let go of your own becoming” serves as a powerful inspiration for anyone navigating the complexities of mental health and addiction recovery. Her story emphasizes that true recovery is a continuous process of learning, adapting, and ultimately, loving the person you are becoming, flaws and all.

Posted on

Ben Fisher’s Recovery and Redemption: 11 Ways to Find Your Purpose After Addiction

“You know, but some of us need to speak out because too many people are dying. And there’s these, you know, back in the day when AA started, there weren’t these drugs that were killing people first time. Yes. And it’s a scary place. So we need a few soldiers out there that are willing to do this.” – Ben Fisher

The journey of addiction and recovery is deeply personal, often marked by profound challenges and ultimately, immense triumph. For many, the path to sobriety is not just about abstaining from substances, but about rediscovering purpose, rebuilding connections, and transforming past experiences into powerful tools for change. Ben Fisher, the creative force behind “A String of Hope,” embodies this transformation, channeling his own battles with addiction into a platform that resonates with millions seeking mental health and addiction recovery.

1. The Genesis of a Troubled Connection: Music, Identity, and Early Exposure

Ben Fisher’s journey with addiction began at a surprisingly young age, interwoven with his passion for music and the perceived glamour of the rock and roll lifestyle. At just 12 years old, while playing guitar at a family gathering, he was handed a Budweiser by a “drunk uncle.” The experience was immediate and profound. “That wave hit me of, you know, feeling that for the first time at 12. And my 12-year-old brain was like, this is it. This is what I need to feel normal. It was like a switch flipped in me.”

This pivotal moment, however, wasn’t an isolated incident but rather a culmination of earlier influences. At seven, watching Jimi Hendrix at Woodstock, Ben was captivated, feeling a deep connection to the artist’s ability to move people through music. He began to idolize musicians who, despite their artistic brilliance, were also known for their struggles with addiction and alcoholism. This early association between rock stardom and substance abuse became a dangerous blueprint in his young mind. “I idolized them and I’m like, okay. So I have to live that lifestyle if I want to be that person. So I leaned into that at an early age.” This narrative highlights how formative experiences and environmental factors can inadvertently lay the groundwork for future struggles.

2. The Illusion of Control: Balancing Dual Lives

As Ben grew older, his addiction progressed, but so did his ability to compartmentalize. He maintained a starkly contrasting dual life: the party-hardy musician embracing the “rockstar lifestyle” and the dedicated worship leader at his church. “My entire drinking career and drinking and drug career, I was living two different people,” he recounts. “One was the party rockstar lifestyle and the other was the guy playing music at church.”

This ability to hide his struggles, particularly his burgeoning addiction to opiate pain medication, became a defining characteristic of his early adult life. He meticulously concealed his substance use from his girlfriend, who would later become his wife. “She knows nothing about it,” he said of his wife’s unawareness of his opiate addiction. “I was really good at hiding it and I hid it all, all through my life.” This functional addiction, where individuals maintain a semblance of normalcy despite severe substance use, can prolong the denial phase and delay seeking help. The façade of functionality can be incredibly isolating, as the individual carries the immense burden of their secret.

3. The Progressive Nature of Addiction: From Beer to Opiates

Ben’s story serves as a stark reminder of addiction’s progressive nature. What began with underage drinking escalated significantly in college, where he engaged in heavy pot use and occasional cocaine use. The turning point, however, came after a painful breakup when a coworker introduced him to opiate pain medication. “I tried them and they made me feel better. They made me feel way better.” This moment marked a new and more insidious phase of his addiction, as opiates offered an even more potent escape from emotional discomfort.

His reliance on opiates became so entrenched that he eventually sought Suboxone, initially buying it on the street before obtaining a legitimate prescription. The fear of his then-fiancée discovering his secret prompted a dangerous decision: cold-turkey withdrawal from Suboxone. This decision, made without medical supervision, led to a grueling, month-long withdrawal period that he endured alone, further illustrating the desperate lengths individuals will go to hide their addiction. “If you know anything about that, I know it’s a medication that’s great for helping people get off, but you have to taper down, step down very slowly. I went cold Turkey. It was the worst experience I’ve ever gone through. And nobody knew I was going through it. I went through it alone.” This dangerous self-detoxification further entrenched his alcohol use as a coping mechanism.

4. The Crushing Weight of Secrecy: Hiding in Plain Sight

The emotional toll of leading a double life, particularly from the person he loved most, was immense. Ben’s wife was unaware of his opiate addiction for seven years, even as they fell in love, got engaged, and bought a house. “That’s gotta be heavy on you,” the podcast host observes. “To not only just going through that addiction, but to hide such a huge part of you and what you’re going through from the person that you care so much about.”

The constant vigilance required to maintain this deception, coupled with the escalating demands of his addiction, undoubtedly contributed to his internal suffering. The pressure to maintain a “functional” exterior, even as his internal world crumbled, is a common theme in addiction. This sustained psychological burden can lead to increased anxiety, depression, and a deeper sense of shame.

5. The Fall from Grace: Losing Purpose and Community

A crucial turning point in Ben’s descent was the exposure of his addiction to his church community. His daily ritual of buying and consuming cheap vodka, even while driving, highlights the pervasive nature of his alcohol dependence. The moment of reckoning came when his eight-month pregnant wife found him passed out in his car, a bottle of vodka beside him. Her call to a friend at the church, whose husband was in recovery, ultimately led to Ben being pushed out of his role as worship leader.

“I ended up later in life becoming a worship leader, music director at a church… That broke me in my drinking. Then I was already at blackout stage. So then we were at the point where it’s like treatment, like what are we gonna do here?” This loss of his perceived identity and community, a place where he had found a sense of purpose through music, was devastating. While initially harboring resentment, Ben later recognized the complex dynamics at play, acknowledging that the church, in its vulnerable state, was also trying to protect itself. This incident underscores the profound impact addiction can have on relationships and one’s sense of self-worth.

6. The “Rock Bottom” That Changed Everything: His Daughter’s Safety

Ben’s true rock bottom arrived on Easter Sunday, 2016. After blacking out while caring for his infant daughter the day before, he woke up on his parents’ couch with no recollection of the events. The realization that his addiction had jeopardized his daughter’s safety was the jolt he needed.

“What she told me, just, it absolutely scared the life outta me because again, my daughter is everything to me. I, I love her more than the world. And, um, like I, I get emotional just thinking about it because, you know, something bad could have happened and, and I, if I didn’t go to jail, if something bad happened, I, I can tell you I probably wouldn’t be here ’cause I wouldn’t wanna live after that.” This moment, devoid of grand dramatic consequences like incarceration or near-death experiences, was nonetheless profoundly impactful. It demonstrates that “rock bottom” is subjective and deeply personal; for Ben, the threat to his child’s well-being was enough to trigger a fundamental shift. The immediate consequence of being asked to leave his home until he sought help further solidified his resolve.

7. The First Steps of Recovery: 90 Meetings in 90 Days

With his marriage on the line and the terrifying realization of his actions, Ben committed to recovery. His first concrete step was embracing the “90 meetings in 90 days” approach, a common recommendation in 12-Step programs. Despite his introverted nature, he dedicated himself to attending meetings daily. “I was going to meetings every day. I was sitting there and I never talked at any meetings. Like, you would’ve never seen me doing anything like this.”

This initial immersion in the recovery community, even without active participation in sharing, provided a crucial foundation of support and exposure to the principles of sobriety. It allowed him to absorb the experiences of others, gradually eroding the isolation that had characterized his addiction. This structured approach to early recovery provides consistency and a sense of routine, which can be invaluable in navigating the initial turbulent stages of sobriety.

8. Redefining Higher Power: A Personal Journey of Spirituality

Ben’s past role as a worship leader presented a unique challenge in his recovery journey, particularly concerning the concept of a “higher power” in 12-Step programs. He admitted to holding resentment towards organized religion. However, the flexibility of “God of your understanding” resonated deeply. “I loved how they said God of your understanding. And I latched onto that ’cause I’m like, I don’t understand the God that I have been leading worship too for other people. I don’t understand him right now.”

This willingness to redefine his spiritual beliefs on his own terms allowed him to engage with the spiritual aspect of recovery without feeling constrained by traditional religious dogma. This personal interpretation of a higher power is a cornerstone of many recovery programs, allowing individuals from diverse backgrounds to find a spiritual path that supports their sobriety.

9. Finding New Obsessions: The Power of Purposeful Action

Beyond attending meetings, Ben recognized the vital need to actively engage in something meaningful. He embraced the idea of finding “new addictions” or, more accurately, healthy obsessions. “I gotta, I gotta do something with myself. Yeah. You have to find something to kind of like dive into. That’s a huge part of my recovery story and what I..tell people is like, get busy doing something. Find something you love and do it. Find a new addiction, really obsession.”

This proactive approach to filling the void left by substance use is crucial for sustained recovery. For Ben, this translated into tangible projects, like building a playhouse, which provided a sense of accomplishment and a healthy outlet for his energy.

10. A String of Hope: Connecting Through Vulnerability

Ben’s journey eventually led him to create “A String of Hope,” a platform dedicated to mental health, addiction recovery, and personal growth. This endeavor is a powerful manifestation of his core desire, recognized only in recovery, to connect deeply with others. “I thought when I saw Jimi Hendrix that day, I thought what I wanted to be was a rockstar. And what I really wanted to do is harness what he had to connect to people.”

Through candid storytelling and motivational insights, Ben fosters a community of support and resilience, turning his past struggles into a beacon of hope for others. This act of service, of sharing his vulnerability and insights, has become his ultimate purpose, allowing him to impact millions. “I know now, today with the cute little videos that I do, I’m able to do that… Now I’m realizing like it was never about being a rock star and like performance, it was about connecting to people.” This demonstrates the profound healing that can occur when individuals transform their personal pain into a source of inspiration for others.

11. The Ongoing Journey: Life Beyond Addiction

Ben Fisher’s story is a testament to the transformative power of recovery. His life, now marked by sobriety and purpose, is rich with opportunities to connect and inspire. From a young boy captivated by a rockstar’s image to a man who understands the true meaning of connection, Ben’s journey highlights the continuous process of growth and self-discovery in sobriety. His story underscores the importance of seeking help, even when the path is difficult, and the profound impact that finding a new purpose can have on long-term recovery.

“Here I am today and life is so much better. And I’ve had so many opportunities like this to do.” His ongoing commitment to sharing his story, even as an introverted individual, showcases the strength and conviction that can emerge from overcoming adversity. Recovery is not a destination but a continuous process of self-improvement, resilience, and a commitment to a life lived fully and authentically.

Posted on

Roger’s Road to Recovery: 7+ Ways Hope Can Overpower Addiction

On this episode of the Giving Voice to Addiction Podcast, we sit down with Roger, a man who has not only navigated the treacherous waters of addiction but has emerged with a profound message of hope and resilience. Roger’s story is a testament to the human spirit’s capacity to overcome immense challenges, offering invaluable insights for anyone struggling with addiction or supporting a loved one through it.

1. The Overpowering Force of Hope: A Counter to Addiction’s Grip

Addiction often feels like an insurmountable force, an overpowering entity that leaves individuals feeling trapped and hopeless. However, Roger’s journey reveals a crucial truth: hope can be an even more potent force. For those entrenched in the depths of addiction, the very concept of hope can seem elusive, a forgotten dream. Yet, Roger, having lived through decades of active addiction and trauma, emphasizes its transformative power. He states, “It’s possible. It’s possible to find hope, and it’s possible that that hope can overpower everything that tries to stop us, and we can move towards the life that we’re trying to have.“

This isn’t a naive optimism but a hard-won conviction born from personal experience. Roger understands that addiction often leads to a sense of undeserving suffering, a belief that one is inherently flawed and destined for failure. He candidly shares his own past struggles with mental health and suicidal ideation, revealing that he once believed, “My addiction, my poor mental health, my time messing around with suicide. It’s a lie. I’m worth something. And for a long time I didn’t think I was.” This realization, that one’s worth is not diminished by addiction, is a cornerstone of true recovery.

The idea of standing “a millimeter taller” than one’s pain is a powerful metaphor Roger uses to illustrate the incremental victories in recovery. It signifies that even the smallest shift in perspective or effort can create a foothold, a spark of possibility that can ignite a larger transformation. This resonates deeply with the understanding that recovery is not a single event but a continuous process of small, deliberate steps.

2. Unpacking a Lifetime of Trauma and Addiction

Roger’s narrative is a stark reminder that addiction rarely exists in a vacuum. His story begins at a tender age, with his mother’s incarceration due to mental health issues when he was just four, followed by her subsequent homelessness. This early exposure to instability and profound loss laid a fertile ground for trauma. He began using drugs at 12, a rapid escalation from marijuana to speed, acid, and cocaine within a year. For Roger, drugs were initially a form of self-medication, a perceived source of comfort and safety in a chaotic world. He describes them as “my mother and my father all at the same time. It was comfort, nature, nurture. It was an escape. It was warm, especially when I started shooting heroin. It was warm, felt good. It was safe until it tried to kill me.“

The allure of drug dealing, though dangerous, provided a perverse sense of purpose and engagement that was otherwise lacking. This highlights how addiction can fulfill unmet needs, even in destructive ways. However, this illusion of safety and purpose eventually shattered. The constant threat of violence, including having a gun to his head multiple times, coupled with a cocaine overdose, signaled a turning point. The realization that his lifestyle was not only endangering himself but also his innocent family members became a powerful motivator for change. “Now I’m putting other people at risk,” he recalls, a clear indication that his addiction’s reach extended far beyond himself.

The journey to discontinue drug use was not immediate but a five-year “de-escalation,” starting with breaking free from the needle and gradually tapering off harder substances. This gradual process underscores that recovery is often a marathon, not a sprint, requiring sustained effort and commitment.

3. The Power of a Vision: Turning Point to Recovery

One of the most profound catalysts for Roger’s initial sobriety was a vivid dream of his own funeral, where he witnessed the devastation it wrought on his father and sister. This dream, coupled with a subsequent “day vision,” solidified his resolve to change. “I had a dream and the dream was my funeral. Then I looked around the funeral scene and I saw my dad and my middle sister, who I’m very close with, and they were just wrecked.” This powerful emotional experience transcended his love for being high, offering a clear and devastating consequence of continuing his path. It shifted his motivation from self-preservation to protecting those he loved.

This deeply personal turning point illustrates that while external pressures can play a role, true and lasting change often stems from an internal shift in values and priorities. Roger’s decision was not driven by a desire to simply stop using, but by a profound realization of the impact his addiction had on his loved ones.

After finally quitting drugs, Roger channeled his addictive tendencies into a new, healthier pursuit: professional mountain biking. While this brought its own set of challenges, including head injuries, it was a significantly less destructive path than his previous drug use. This demonstrates the concept of addiction transfer, where individuals in recovery might replace one addictive behavior with another. While not ideal, it can sometimes be a stepping stone towards healthier coping mechanisms, provided it doesn’t lead to equally destructive outcomes.

4. The Continuous Journey: Sobriety, Clean Time, and Recovery

Roger’s commitment to his recovery is evident in his meticulous counting of clean time: “36 years, one month, and four days.” This unwavering awareness of his sobriety date is not a burden but a source of strength, a tangible representation of his dedication. He explains, “I have to count the days. The days give me strength if I let myself go, I’d be dead tonight because if I’m gonna give up that time, I’m going all the way.” This highlights the ever-present temptation for those in recovery and the importance of recognizing the significant investment made in staying clean.

However, Roger’s journey also includes a relapse with alcohol after his first divorce, underscoring that recovery is not a linear path. Despite being clean from drugs for 15 years, the emotional devastation of his divorce led him to heavy alcohol use, consuming a fifth of tequila daily and later two to three bottles of wine. This period of alcohol abuse lasted five years. His experience demonstrates that past sobriety from one substance doesn’t grant immunity from addiction to others, especially during periods of intense emotional distress.

His eventual cessation of alcohol came after a work trip in Spain where he drank himself unconscious and missed a flight, followed by his second wife being hospitalized for alcohol poisoning. This dual crisis, coupled with the realization of the impact on their three young children, spurred him and his wife to quit drinking together. This collective decision highlights the power of shared commitment and accountability in recovery, especially when children are involved. Roger now differentiates between his “clean” time from drugs and his “sober” time from alcohol, emphasizing that true recovery encompasses addressing all addictive behaviors and underlying issues. He states, “I’m 14 years sober. 14 years, and 21 days, April 17th. So I count that too.”

5. Beyond Abstinence: The Essence of True Recovery

For Roger, being “clean” and “sober” is distinct from being “in recovery.” His past experience with suicidal ideation, even years after achieving drug sobriety, revealed that abstinence alone isn’t enough. He discovered that his suicidal thoughts were a side effect of antidepressant medication, emphasizing the complex interplay between mental health and substance use. Roger’s current recovery hinges on a structured life built on connection, engagement, and introspection. Living in a cabin in the woods without internet, cell service, or TV forces him to actively seek human connection. He elaborates, “I need structure. I need engagement. I need connection… I have to consciously get outta the house every day, or it puts me in trouble. But that connection is key for me and facing my truth.“

This active pursuit of connection and self-awareness through journaling, writing, and maintaining relationships with friends and family is central to his ongoing well-being. He also finds purpose in mentoring others, understanding that helping others strengthens his own resolve. This highlights the altruistic nature of recovery, where sharing one’s experience can create a virtuous cycle of support.

6. Understanding Addiction from the Family’s Perspective

Addiction’s ripple effect extends far beyond the individual, deeply impacting families who often grapple with immense pain, confusion, and a desperate desire to help. Roger offers crucial insights for families struggling to understand their loved one’s addiction. He emphasizes that judgmental attitudes towards behavior miss the underlying suffering. “For many people there is a mental health component that goes along with substance abuse. And more than anything, I think as a people, as humanity, we’re quick to judge the behavior. The behavior is the person people think. It’s not that person’s in trouble. That person’s hurting.“

This distinction between the person and their behavior is fundamental to fostering empathy and effective support. Roger advises families to “love the person no matter what” while simultaneously establishing healthy boundaries. He acknowledges the fine line between tough love and enabling, urging understanding that individuals, even in addiction, are often doing what they believe is best, however misguided it may seem.

Roger asserts that genuine change must come from within: “If we want to go to rehab, we have to want to go to rehab. If we want to quit, we have to want to quit.” This speaks to the limitations of external pressure and the necessity of internal motivation. His personal experience of his mother’s homelessness serves as a poignant example of how societal judgment can dehumanize individuals struggling with addiction and mental illness, reminding us that “that’s somebody’s mother. That’s somebody’s sister. That’s somebody’s kid.”

7. The Role of Support and the Evolution of Treatment

While Roger’s journey was largely self-directed due to the limited resources available at the time, he acknowledges the critical role support plays. He recalls how two close friends intervened when he was desperate to quit the needle, physically preventing him from using and offering unwavering support. “I just told ’em, this is my life and this is how I’m gonna die. I was crying and they said, well, we’re gonna help you.” This demonstrates the profound impact of genuine care and intervention when an individual is ready to receive it. His move to Colorado, away from the triggers of Baltimore, also provided a crucial “break” from his active addiction.

Roger’s early attempt to seek professional help was met with a devastating response: “What’s your insurance? I don’t have any. And they’re like, sorry, we can’t help you.” This highlights the significant barriers to treatment that existed in the past, particularly for those without financial means. It underscores the vital progress made in the addiction treatment landscape, with increased access to resources like harm reduction strategies, needle exchange programs, and a greater emphasis on integrated care for co-occurring mental health disorders. While Roger didn’t attend his first 12-Step meeting until six years ago, he now recognizes their immense value: “They are helpful ’cause it’s a community that you don’t find elsewhere. You need people that can accept you as you are.”

8. Roger’s Enduring Message of Possibility

Roger’s ultimate message is one of unwavering hope and the boundless possibilities of change. He implores anyone struggling to believe in the potential for a different future: “It is possible. It’s possible for something else. It’s possible for change. Change is actually a given.” He challenges the ingrained cynicism and self-deprecating labels that often accompany addiction, such as “loser, low life piece of shit, junky, alcoholic, dropout.” Roger powerfully asserts, “No matter our worst behavior, we’re more than that. We can be anything we wanna be. We can start over every single morning.”

His call to action is simple yet profound: “Just get started. Try to try start there.” This emphasis on taking the first, often daunting, step resonates with anyone facing a significant challenge. Roger’s journey from a childhood marred by trauma and a devastating 13-year drug addiction to a life of profound purpose and continuous recovery is a powerful testament to the fact that even in the darkest moments, possibility exists.

Roger’s story is a beacon of hope for countless individuals. It underscores that recovery is a complex, non-linear journey often intertwined with trauma and mental health challenges. Yet, with internal motivation, external support, and an unwavering belief in the possibility of change, individuals can not only overcome addiction but also build lives of purpose and profound meaning. His message is a powerful reminder that “you’re beautiful. I love you, and you can do it. I know it. Absolutely know it. ‘Cause it is possible.”

Posted on

Riley Whelan’s Alcohol Addiction Journey: 7 Ways “Uniquely Broken” Led to Lasting Recovery

The journey to sobriety is often paved with isolation, shame, and the daunting belief that one’s struggles are singular and insurmountable. Yet, as Riley Whelan, a prominent TikTok creator and sober advocate, eloquently shares on Recoverycast, the path to healing often begins with the liberating realization that you are not, in fact, “uniquely broken.” Her candid account of battling ADHD, addiction, and relapse offers a powerful narrative of resilience, highlighting the transformative power of self-acceptance, community, and professional support.

1. The Genesis of a Problem: Early Exposure and Self-Medication

Riley’s story begins in Louisville, Kentucky, a place where, as she describes, drinking at a young age was “very normal.” Starting at 13, her initial encounters with alcohol were seemingly innocent—a means to “fit in, have fun,” and emulate what she perceived as normalcy. However, even from the outset, her consumption patterns diverged significantly from her peers. “I never drank normally,” she recalls, “like the first time I ever drank it was in excess and I don’t even really remember that much of it, but I knew that I wanted to keep doing it.”

This early immersion quickly escalated. By high school, drinking became the anticipated weekend ritual, and marijuana entered the picture as a daily “maintenance” tool. What started as a desire for connection subtly transformed into a dependence, an unconscious attempt to fill a void. Riley later identified this void as stemming from undiagnosed depression and anxiety, coupled with ADHD. The substances, particularly marijuana, served as a crude form of self-medication, quieting the relentless noise of her mind and offering a fleeting sense of calm.

Explore treatment options for depression, anxiety, and ADHD.

2. The Illusion of Control: The Isolation of a Secret Battle

As her substance use progressed, so did its insidious grip, fostering a profound sense of isolation. While early use involved social settings, Riley increasingly preferred to use alone, retreating into a private world fueled by addiction. This solitary consumption further cemented the belief that her struggles were unique, a secret burden she carried. “Those things really isolated me too,” she reflects. “Like just from the world in general. I thought I was uniquely, I thought I was unique…Uniquely broken. Yeah…and it just turns out I was an alcoholic and it’s okay.”

This feeling of being “uniquely broken” is a common thread among those battling addiction. The shame and stigma associated with substance use often prevent individuals from seeking help or even acknowledging their struggles to others. This internal battle can exacerbate mental health symptoms, creating a vicious cycle. The inability to articulate or even recognize these feelings at a young age, as Riley explains, further compounded her isolation. She “had no idea what I was experiencing,” only that it was “unsettling.”

3. The Family Dynamic: Unintended Enabling and the “Playbook” of Discipline

Riley’s high school years were marked by escalating challenges, as her family grappled with her increasingly concerning behaviors. Despite her parents’ love and efforts, their approach to her substance use largely followed a traditional “playbook” of discipline rather than open dialogue about underlying issues. “It was never, and like, this is no, no shade to like my parents or anything because I have no idea what it’s like to be a parent to me,” Riley clarifies, acknowledging the difficulty of parenting an adolescent struggling with addiction.

She describes how her parents’ response was primarily disciplinary – “if you get caught drinking when we catch you drinking, when they would catch me drinking, it was like, you’re grounded. Like, we don’t even understand. We don’t know why you’re doing this.” This common parental response, while well-intentioned, often falls short in addressing the complex nature of addiction, especially when coupled with a genetic predisposition. Alcoholism ran on both sides of Riley’s family, a crucial factor that often goes unaddressed in early interventions.

4. The Geographical Cure: A Cross-Country Illusion

By her early twenties, Riley’s life was spiraling. Kicked out of her parents’ home and facing eviction, she impulsively embarked on a cross-country journey to California, driven by the misguided belief that a change of scenery would solve her problems. “I told myself if I just made a geographical change that I… don’t think I’m the only person that’s ever like fall fallen victim to that,” she admits. This phenomenon, often termed the “geographical cure,” is a common, yet ultimately ineffective, coping mechanism for individuals struggling with addiction. The underlying issues that fuel addiction are internal, and simply changing one’s environment rarely addresses them.

Her time in California, coinciding with the onset of COVID-19, only exacerbated her addiction. “Things did not get better. They got worse,” she states, emphasizing that addiction, like a shadow, follows wherever one goes. This period was marked by increasingly reckless behavior and a growing dependence on alcohol, further isolating her from her family, with whom she had minimal contact, primarily reaching out only “when I needed something.”

Explore treatment options for alcohol addiction.

5. The Turning Point: Rock Bottom and the Call for Help

The illusion of the “geographical cure” shattered when Riley, after six and a half months in California, was gently nudged back to Kentucky. Stripped of distractions and in constant confrontation with her addiction, she hit rock bottom. “I was like in survival mode. And it was just me and my alcoholism,” she recalls. The pain became unbearable, a daily yearning “just wishing the pain would go away.”

The true catalyst for change came from her sisters, who confronted her with a heartbreaking truth: “we love you so much, but this is, this is like not our sister that we know… we have looked up to you our whole lives and this is what you’ve become.” This raw honesty, delivered by those she held dearest, penetrated the denial and shame, finally breaking through her resistance. At this point, she was “willing to do whatever was necessary” to get help, marking a crucial shift from unwilling participant to active seeker of recovery. This willingness, as Riley emphasizes, is paramount. Even with all the facts and support, true change only occurs when the individual is ready.

6. Entering Treatment: The Reality of Recovery, Not a “Normal Drinker”

Riley’s first foray into treatment was born out of desperation and a fundamental misunderstanding of what recovery entailed. Still under the influence upon arrival, she harbored the misconception that treatment would teach her “how to drink better.” This highlights a common initial expectation among those entering recovery – the desire to control their substance use rather than abstain entirely.

However, treatment quickly dispelled this illusion. It was the first time she truly confronted the definition of alcoholism and recognized herself in every symptom. “I had such an idea, locked in idea of what I thought an alcoholic was. That was like an older adult who had lost everything… and I thought I was way too young to be an alcoholic.” This self-realization, coupled with exposure to other individuals in recovery, proved to be a profound turning point. Connecting with others who shared similar experiences, even those much older, fostered a sense of belonging and dissolved the intense isolation she had felt. “It was cathartic,” she explains. “Because I had never, I had not grown up with anybody that I knew, or that I felt like experienced what I experienced and only it, it only an alcoholic can really get through to another alcoholic.”

This shared experience in a supportive environment, as she points out, is crucial for breaking down the shame and self-blame that often accompany addiction. Seeing others who had engaged in similar behaviors but were now getting healthy provided a powerful sense of hope and validation.

7. The Enduring Truth: “It Gets Better”

Riley’s most poignant piece of advice, shared at the beginning of her interview, encapsulates the essence of her journey: “It gets better.” This simple yet profound statement, while initially seeming generic, has been undeniably proven true throughout her sobriety. For her younger self, struggling with unidentifiable anxieties and a pervasive feeling of being “less than,” such a concept would have been incomprehensible. But through the arduous process of confronting her addiction, seeking help, and building a life in recovery, the meaning of “better” has become tangible.

Her story is a testament to the fact that addiction is a complex disease, not a moral failing. Recognizing this distinction is fundamental to fostering self-compassion and seeking appropriate care. While the path to recovery is often messy and challenging, it is undeniably “beautiful, and absolutely worth it.” The journey out of isolation and into a supportive community is not only possible but essential.

Riley’s advocacy, through her TikTok platform, now helps countless others navigate their own journeys, offering a vibrant voice of hope and reminding everyone that “none of us have to do it alone.” If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, remember Riley’s words: “It really does get better.” Help is available, and finding the right support can make all the difference.

Posted on

Tanya’s Path to Drug and Alcohol Recovery: 5+ Steps to Reclaiming Your Life

 

Addiction is a complex journey, often misunderstood as solely a struggle with substances. However, as one individual’s powerful story reveals, the path to recovery is often a multifaceted healing process from deeper wounds. Tanya, a guest on the Giving Voice to Addiction Podcast by Recovery.com, shares her remarkable journey, highlighting that recovery is frequently about addressing underlying issues like grief, loss, abandonment, and trauma. Her experience underscores a vital truth: addiction is a symptom, and true healing involves confronting the root causes.

1. Recognizing the True Nature of Addiction

Tanya’s story begins with an early exposure to alcohol in a home where drinking was normalized. By the age of 11, she experienced intoxication, and at 14, she discovered cannabis, which provided a feeling of solace and belonging she desperately sought. Unlike alcohol, which she associated with her mother’s struggles, cannabis became her preferred escape. This early attachment to substances wasn’t seen as a problem, but rather a coping mechanism for a turbulent childhood marked by abandonment and instability.

For Tanya, drug use was a “reasonable reaction to the life you were living and ways of managing it versus a problem.” This sentiment resonates with many who turn to substances to cope with overwhelming emotions or difficult circumstances. It highlights a critical aspect of addiction: it often serves as a maladaptive coping strategy. Recognizing this distinction—that the substance use is a symptom rather than the sole issue—is a crucial first step in understanding and addressing addiction comprehensively.

2. Unmasking the Illusion of Control

A common thread in addiction narratives is the belief in one’s ability to control substance use, even in the face of escalating negative consequences. Tanya, despite periods of sobriety and academic success, found herself repeatedly returning to drugs. Her intravenous drug use at 17, followed by her brother’s suicide and an abusive relationship, pushed her to a desperate point where she sought to use enough to not wake up. Yet, even after this harrowing experience and facing multiple felony charges, she maintained the illusion of control.

“I still was convinced that I was in, I was in control that I can stop.” This persistent denial is a hallmark of addiction. The brain’s chemistry is altered, making it incredibly difficult to simply stop, despite intentions or external pressures. The belief that one can stop at will often delays seeking professional help, perpetuating the cycle of use. Tanya’s realization that her “brain was hijacked” and she wasn’t truly in control marked a significant shift in her perspective.

3. Embracing the Power of Community and Connection

For many years, Tanya felt isolated in her struggles, believing no one understood her experience. This sense of being alone is a common barrier to recovery. However, a turning point came when she was mandated to treatment and discovered recovery communities like Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous.

“I didn’t even know there was like a whole like community of people in recovery. I felt so alone. I felt really like no one understood. And I went to my first meeting and it was a speaker meeting and it was like that gentleman was telling my story up there.”

This realization that others shared similar experiences provided a profound sense of belonging and hope. Building a “community of support” became a foundational element of Tanya’s long-term recovery. A co-host of the podcast, points out, “The opposite of addiction is connection.” This connection can be found in various forms: mutual support groups, outpatient programs, therapy groups, or through peer support specialists. These communities offer a safe space for sharing, understanding, and mutual encouragement, combating the isolation that often fuels addiction.

4. The Role of Trauma Therapy in Healing

While community support and addressing substance use are vital, Tanya emphasizes the transformative impact of trauma therapy. She began trauma therapy while pregnant with her daughter, a period when she still struggled with active addiction. This concurrent focus on healing past wounds alongside addressing substance use proved to be a powerful combination.

“I’d also started trauma therapy when I was pregnant with my daughter… I think by far that has been the, the biggest contributor to who I am as a person today, as the work that I’ve done in that space.”

Many individuals turn to substances as a way to self-medicate unresolved trauma. Addressing these underlying traumatic experiences through therapy can dismantle the very foundation of addictive behaviors. Trauma-informed care recognizes the profound impact of past experiences on current coping mechanisms and provides strategies for healthy emotional processing and resilience building. This holistic approach is often crucial for sustainable recovery, as it tackles the root causes of distress that might otherwise lead to relapse.

5. Resilience, Perseverance, and Self-Love

Tanya’s journey was not linear. Despite her initial period of sobriety, she experienced a relapse six and a half years into her recovery, triggered by the belief that she could control alcohol. This experience, though painful, ultimately deepened her commitment to sobriety and led her back to residential treatment. It highlights that recovery is a continuous process, and setbacks, while challenging, can also be opportunities for growth and renewed dedication.

Today, Tanya celebrates over 11 years of long-term recovery from all substances. She has built a life filled with “profound and deep and meaningful and loyal and trustworthy” relationships. She has established her first truly “safe space” in her home and dedicates her professional life to supporting others on their recovery journeys as a clinical substance use counselor—a dream she held since childhood.

Her story is a testament to the power of “hard work, perseverance, courage, bravery, accountability.” For those in the depths of despair, Tanya offers a message of profound hope: “You matter. You are enough, you are lovable despite what you are doing because that is just it, it’s actions. It’s not who you are.” This message of self-love and inherent worth is often lost in the grips of addiction but is fundamental to reclaiming one’s life.

6. Inspiring Hope and Reducing Stigma

Tanya’s willingness to share her story publicly contributes significantly to reducing the stigma associated with addiction and recovery. By “recovering out loud and proud,” she helps to illuminate the commonalities in human struggles and foster a more compassionate understanding of addiction.

“I think the stigma is reducing. We still have a long ways to go, but I think the more that we recover out loud and proud and talk about, you know, our struggles and bring more stuff into the light and out of the darkness, um, the more healed communities that we do have, because we will see that we have many more similarities than we do differences.”

Her journey exemplifies that recovery is not just about abstaining from substances but about profound personal transformation and building a life of meaning and purpose. By sharing these stories, individuals like Tanya offer a beacon of hope, demonstrating that even from the darkest places, a remarkable life is possible.

Finding Your Path to Recovery

If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, remember that hope is within reach.

Recovery.com: Offers a comprehensive directory of treatment centers and resources.

Recovery is a deeply personal journey, but you don’t have to walk it alone. As Tanya’s story powerfully illustrates, with resilience, support, and a commitment to healing, a life of profound joy and self-love is not just a dream, but a tangible reality.

What step will you take today to begin or continue your journey towards recovery and a more fulfilling life?