Tag: Alcohol

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Brittany Jade: 9 Hard-Won Lessons from Addiction, Motherhood, and Starting Over

If you have ever wondered what it takes to rebuild a life from the rubble of addiction, custody battles, and public scrutiny, you will want to hear from Brittany Jade. The Recoverycast guest and viral creator does not sugarcoat anything, she talks about blackouts and blood draws, courtrooms and character witnesses, relapse and grace. She also talks about what comes next, the steady daily work of staying sober, parenting with honesty, and making amends in action, not words.

Below are nine of the most powerful, practical lessons from Brittany’s story, shared for anyone navigating sobriety, supporting a loved one, or simply trying to be a little braver today.

1) Recovery is not a straight line, it is a daily choice

Brittany opens with the reminder many of us need, recovery has peaks and valleys. She celebrates more than five years sober, then immediately grounds it in reality, some days are still hard, the point is that you keep choosing. That frame matters because it takes shame off the table. When you expect ups and downs, you are more likely to call your sponsor, get to a meeting, or text a friend when a low hits, instead of hiding.

2) Postpartum is vulnerable, watch for the “managed” drink that snowballs

After welcoming twins, Brittany describes the slide that started as a “two drink max,” then crept to every other night, then every night. She tried swapping wine for spirits, but secrecy crept in, bottles hidden in cabinets and closets. For partners and friends, this is a red flag checklist, increasing frequency, rationalizing rules, hiding evidence. For new parents, it is permission to say out loud, postpartum is a high risk season, support and structure are not optional.

3) Court can be a cliff, not a wake-up call, so line up help before you fall

One of the rawest moments, Brittany walks into court hungover, alone, and unprepared. She thinks the old 50,50 custody will stand, the order says supervised visits only. The shock was so crushing that she walked out and decided to drink herself to death, until a friend intervened and said, what are you willing to do to get your kids back. If you are approaching legal proceedings, assume it is a cliff. Bring counsel, bring proof of meetings and tests, bring a support person, and have a treatment plan ready in writing.

4) When the window opens, jump, even if it looks impossible

A detox center agrees to take her without insurance, but there is a catch, $1,800 in cash the same day. Brittany literally had $1,850 in her account, withdrew it, grabbed two tall cans in a last hurrah, then walked into detox. On the hospital’s follow up call, she learns her blood alcohol content was 0.457, the nurse says, you should be dead. The window opened, and she jumped through it. If a bed opens or a scholarship appears, take it. Do not wait for a perfect plan, take the lifeline in reach.

5) Accountability beats punishment, build your own paper trail

Sobriety after detox was not magic. Brittany started testing herself, four to six breathalyzers a day with photo verification, plus weekly drug screens, all logged. No judge ordered this at first, she did it because she knew a judge might someday. That proactive trail later mattered in court, an attorney told her he had never seen someone do so much ahead of time. Lesson, do not wait for a mandate, document your recovery like your future depends on it, because it might.

6) Substitution is still relapse, and it can turn darker, fast

In early separation and loneliness, she started taking slivers of someone else’s Suboxone, telling herself it was fine because opiates were not her drug. Within weeks she was nodding out, then a restraining order, then a two-week disappearance that ended in an overdose, and daily heroin and meth use during that window of despair. It is a stark caution, switching substances is not harm reduction when it is secret, non-prescribed, and destructive, it is relapse.

7) Early sobriety can be medically dangerous, treat it like it is

At one low point, Brittany experienced acute psychosis, hearing convincing voices and music from ordinary sounds. Doctors believed it was day four alcohol withdrawal, and stabilizing medication resolved it. Her point is not to scare, it is to underscore the medical reality, if you have been drinking heavily, do not quit cold turkey alone. Get medically supervised detox to reduce the risks of seizures or psychosis, then step into ongoing care.

8) You can rebuild trust with consistent action, honesty, and living amends

There is a turning moment that sounds almost impossible on paper, after twentyeight days apart, the restraining order is dropped and Brittany regains legal custody, thanks to relentless documentation and a mother who moved across the country to help her establish stable housing. The rebuilding did not end there. With her oldest child, she focuses on showing up, telling the truth about addiction as an allergy, getting her therapy, and making living amends by staying sober today. Trust is not a speech, it is a pattern she is still making, day after day.

9) Build a sober life you actually want, not just a list of things you avoid

In year one, Brittany did at least one meeting a day and skipped events with alcohol. Over time, her program evolved, she finished the Twelve Steps in year five and now sponsors other women. She reshaped friendships so most close friends are in recovery, and she leans on faith and service. The big theme, make a life that supports sobriety, community, purpose, and structure, not just white knuckle avoidance.

Bonus Lesson, Support systems matter more than speeches

Brittany is candid about the pain of feeling punished rather than supported. In hindsight, she and her husband see how distrust and fear drove choices. Today, she is vocal about helping families learn how to support without enabling, finding meetings and therapists, and staying present. If you love someone who is struggling, be the person who drives to intake, not the person who only drives them to court.

Memorable moments you will not forget

  • “Your BAC was a 0.457, you should be dead.” That sentence, and the way Brittany said she walked into detox anyway, will stick with you the next time you think you have gone too far to turn around.
  • “Each day that I stay sober is a living amends to my kids.” Put that line on a sticky note. It reframes sobriety as an act of love, visible in calendars and carpools, not just chips.

Why this episode matters

This is not a tidy after-school special. It is messy, human, and hopeful. You will hear about a mom who lost almost everything, then did unglamorous, repeatable things, testing, logging, meetings, calls, therapy, amends, until life got bigger and steadier again. You will also hear about the pitfalls many of us minimize, managing drinking rules, swapping substances, walking into court alone, ignoring medical risk in withdrawal. And you will hear what helps, radical accountability, a plan before the panic, a support person who can physically get you where you need to be.

The bottom line

The biggest lesson from Brittany Jade is simple, you are not ruined by your worst day, you are rebuilt by your next one. If you are drinking more than you mean to, if you are hiding it, if you are scared by how much it takes to feel normal, tell someone today and make one accountable move, call a detox, text a friend to drive you, or order a breathalyzer and start a log. Your future self, your family, and your body will thank you.

Listen to the full episode, share this post with someone who needs a nudge, and take a minute to reflect, what is one small, concrete step you can do today that your tomorrow will recognize as courage.

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Healing from Childhood Trauma: Caitlyn Boardman’s 12 Lessons from Alcoholism and Borderline Personality Disorder Recovery

In a world that often demands perfection, especially when it comes to recovery, the story of Caitlyn Boardman—a mental health and sobriety advocate—is a powerful testament to the messy, non-linear reality of healing. As a guest on the Recoverycast podcast, Caitlyn shared her deeply personal journey through adoption trauma, the early loss of a parent, a turbulent relationship with alcohol and substances, and a complex interplay of mental health conditions, including Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and an eating disorder. Her path, marked by relapse, divorce, and the grief of losing both adoptive parents, is a striking example of persistence over perfection.

Her message, distilled from years of struggle and eventual triumph, offers a crucial anchor for anyone feeling lost: “Just to not give up hope. And that, you know, despite all the things life throws at you, there is hope on the other side, even when it feels like there is none at all.” Caitlyn’s willingness to embrace the imperfections of her journey—from being the “girl with the alcohol in her closet” to a public advocate—shows that true strength lies not in avoiding the fall, but in constantly choosing to get back up. This comprehensive article delves into the core challenges Caitlyn faced and builds on her story to offer 12 critical takeaways for navigating co-occurring disorders, trauma, and the continuous fight for a better life.

1. Recognizing the Indirect Impact of Childhood Trauma and Adoption

Caitlyn’s childhood, while seemingly stable, was underpinned by the indirect trauma of early life experiences. Adopted from South Korea and raised in a white family, she initially believed her adoption didn’t affect her. It wasn’t until she reached adulthood and sought therapy that the deeper emotional roots of her struggles began to surface.

Caitlyn’s therapist posed a critical question that unlocked a deeper understanding: “You’re adopted, but where were you the first four months of your life?” This led to the discovery that she had been in a foster home, a separation that her therapist linked to her adult trust issues. This experience highlights a crucial aspect of trauma: it doesn’t have to be a direct, dramatic event to leave a lasting impact. The pre-verbal separation from her birth mother and subsequent placement created an emotional blueprint that affected her ability to form secure attachments later in life.

Compounding this was the loss of her adoptive father at the tender age of six. She recalls: “I remember running away as a kid. I was just really upset and my mom, she let me cry, but you know, then it was just, we never really talked about it.” The lack of open communication about grief meant that she and her brother “suffered in silence,” a common experience in families where emotional expression is suppressed.

Explore trauma treatment options.

2. Early Onset Alcoholism and the Search for Numbing

The seeds of addiction were planted early for Caitlyn, fueled by a combination of easy access to alcohol and an internal struggle to cope with her feelings of loneliness and grief. She recounts starting to drink around age 13 and drinking alone. Access was made easy because her mother kept alcohol in the house “all the time.”

Her habit quickly progressed from experimentation to a pattern of isolation and concealment: “I remember I would take alcohol from my mom, I’d put it in water bottles… and stuff it in my closet. Like my friends used to joke around, like they’d be like, oh, you’re the girl with the alcohol in her closet.” This early reliance on alcohol to numb difficult emotions is a classic red flag for a developing substance use disorder.

The interviewer rightly pointed out the heartbreaking realization in hindsight: “That’s a kid really struggling, grabbing for alcohol and substance to try and numb that, that’s extremely tough.” This pattern of self-medication would continue for years, culminating in a period where she felt destined to suffer: “I feel like I’m meant to suffer. So that’s why I drank. I was like, I, I feel like I’m just not meant to be happy.” This belief—that she was unworthy of happiness—drove her substance use, highlighting the deep connection between self-worth and addiction.

3. Navigating the Complexities of Co-Occurring Disorders

Caitlyn’s journey is a powerful case study in comorbidity, or the co-occurrence of substance use disorders with mental health conditions. She battled alcoholism alongside an eating disorder and was later diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

The Eating Disorder and Body Image

Her struggle with the eating disorder intensified after having her children, driven by a hyper-focus on weight loss. This pursuit of “skinny” led to severely restrictive behaviors, eventually causing her to view herself as overweight even at a critically low weight of 98 pounds. This distorted self-perception is a hallmark of eating disorders, where the underlying issue is not truly about food or weight, but about control, self-criticism, and emotional regulation.

See eating disorder treatment options.

The Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Diagnosis

Caitlyn pursued psychiatric help after feeling “off” her whole life due to severe mood swings. She was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), a condition that the clinician linked directly to her trauma. BPD is characterized by unstable moods, behavior, relationships, and self-image, often leading to impulsive behavior, intense emotional responses, and difficulties with secure attachments—all of which factored into Caitlyn’s self-destructive patterns. The self-harm that started in middle school evolved into physically hitting and bruising herself, particularly when alcohol was involved, demonstrating the volatile synergy between her substance use and mental health struggles. She noted that BPD, unlike some other disorders, “you get it from trauma.”

4. The Deepening of Addiction and Rock Bottom

The full severity of Caitlyn’s addiction surfaced after her third child, following a messy breakup with the children’s father. The intermittent drinking of her early motherhood quickly escalated to drinking “all day, every day”. The day-to-day struggle was marked by extreme self-harm and an inability to maintain stability. She lost one job and narrowly avoided being fired from another after showing up to work “blackout drunk” and messing up “every table’s order.”

The turning point—or “rock bottom”—was a dramatic, frightening moment in 2021, a month after the birth of her fourth child. A volatile argument with her partner while both were drinking led to a frightening climax that resulted in the police being called for the third time. The police’s warning about the potential involvement of Child Protective Services served as a stark and terrifying wake-up call.

Find integrative alcohol addiction treatment options.

5. Choosing Sobriety and Embracing New Habits

After the incident with the police, Caitlyn embarked on her recovery journey. Despite having no formal treatment or therapy at the time—a testament to her sheer willpower and underlying resilience—she stopped drinking daily. She noted that while she didn’t experience the severe physical withdrawals many do, she was immediately plagued by intense cravings, which often manifest as a craving for sweets in early sobriety.

To fill the void left by alcohol, she actively jumped into new habits and tools:

  • Fitness Shift: She completely changed her focus in the gym, moving from working out “to be skinny” to working out “to be strong, not skinny.” This complete mindset switch reflected a fundamental move toward self-care and health, resulting in a healthy weight gain of 15 pounds.
  • Mindfulness and Meditation: Overcoming the initial difficulty of sitting with a “sober brain” and a head full of trauma-driven thoughts, she credits meditation as a “key to so many things,” especially for managing her BPD symptoms. She also highlighted the importance of breathwork to calm her nervous system in daily situations.

6. The Necessity of Environmental and Relational Changes

Maintaining sobriety demanded a complete overhaul of her social life. Since her entire friend circle drank, she had to stop going out, which inevitably led to losing many friends. While this loss hurt, she adopted a mature perspective: “I was like, you know what? They weren’t my friends in the first place.” This realization is a vital lesson in recovery: true friends support your health, while drinking companions only support the addiction.

This principle was painfully tested in her marriage, which had begun and was largely fueled by alcohol during the COVID-19 pandemic. She eventually found herself navigating a divorce from a partner who repeatedly lied about his own sobriety. “I found out later on that he had drank and lied to me about it… that was hard to deal with.” The pain and harassment from the dissolution of that toxic relationship made her “want to drink so bad,” but she persevered.

The anchor that kept her from drinking during the immense stress of divorce and the grief of her mother’s passing was her children. She intentionally chose to provide them with a different, more emotionally available experience of grief than the one she had as a child: “I wanted to be strong for them. And, you know, not go down that dark path.”

7. The Power of Advocacy and Vulnerability on Social Media

In an age where public figures often curate perfect narratives, Caitlyn’s decision to share her raw journey publicly has been a source of healing and connection. Starting with a single TikTok post about being “one month sober” in 2021, her vulnerability resonated with a massive audience.

What’s interesting is the contrast she found in sharing: she describes herself as a private person in her day-to-day life, yet an “open book” on social media. This distinction is common for advocates who find safety and connection in a digital community. The feedback and messages she received affirmed that her story was making a difference, transforming her personal struggle into a source of public hope.

8. Understanding the Nature of Relapse: A Non-Linear Journey

Caitlyn’s most recent experience highlights a key message: recovery is not linear, and relapse is often a process that begins long before the first drink is taken.

In a situation that many in sobriety fear, she was mistakenly served a full-alcohol beer instead of the non-alcoholic (NA) beer she ordered. While she noticed the strong taste, she initially rationalized it. Her therapist offered a profound concept: “Relapse before you relapse.” Caitlyn realized that for a month beforehand, she had been “looking for something,” having bought and kept a miniature bottle of liquor in her fridge. This pre-relapse mental softening meant that the accidental exposure became a justification: “I was like, gotcha. This is the perfect opportunity. You know? You were justifying in your head.”

The Three-Day Wake-Up Call

The accidental slip quickly spiraled into a full, short-lived relapse. The severity of the incident—which involved her being so drunk she ended up in the hospital after friends reported her banging her head on the floor—served as a definitive reminder of where her addiction leads. After a brief period of continued drinking for three days, the physical illness from dehydration and the shame of the behavior quickly brought her back to the clarity of sobriety: “This is not it. Like we didn’t do this. We can go back now.”

The non-linear nature of recovery means a slip doesn’t erase the progress made. It’s a data point, not a destination.

9. The Importance of an Open Dialogue on Grief

The most moving part of Caitlyn’s story is the conscious choice to heal her own past by changing her present and future. Reflecting on the silent suffering after her father’s passing, she made a deliberate choice to be “very open” with her children following the loss of her adoptive mother: “I was like, we need to talk about it.”

This act of providing emotional space for her children is profoundly healing. As she put it, “It feels really good to be able to like, have those tools from that experience to like give that to my kids while they’re going through this.” This breaks the generational cycle of emotional avoidance and is a powerful act of self-compassion directed at the child version of herself.

10. The Simple Power of Persistence

Caitlyn’s entire narrative is summed up by her core message: persistence. She didn’t have a magical, instant recovery. She battled on and off for years, from her early teens until she got sober in 2021, a five-year period of severe struggle after her third child. Her persistence was not a sudden burst of perfect effort, but the quiet, daily commitment to “keep fighting every day, kept showing up until one day I was like, I’m sober.”

This relentless showing up, even when things felt utterly hopeless, is the essence of her success. For anyone feeling overwhelmed by the length and difficulty of their own recovery journey, Caitlyn’s story is proof that showing up for yourself is the single most important action you can take.

11. The Protective Role of Parenthood in Sobriety

While a challenging relationship with her children’s father fueled some of her heaviest drinking, her children ultimately became her most powerful protective factor. When faced with the immense grief and stress of her mother’s passing, they were her anchor, keeping her from drinking.

She is honest about this reality: “I feel like if I didn’t have my kids, I probably would’ve drank.” For many parents, the desire to provide a stable, loving environment becomes the “reason” that outweighs the addiction’s pull. It transformed her motivation from self-loathing (“I’m meant to suffer”) to service (“I wanted to be strong for them”).

12. Never Give Up Hope: A Final, Powerful Word

Caitlyn’s journey from a self-harming, isolated child with a hidden stash of alcohol to a strong, vulnerable mother and advocate is a roadmap for those navigating the darkest of paths. Her entire message hinges on this simple, profound instruction: Don’t give up hope.

The most compelling quote from her experience encapsulates the dark mental state of addiction and the breakthrough of recovery: “I’ve been in such a dark place, I’ve been like that in that area of my life where I’m like, things will never get better. I’ll never be happy… And that’s why I kept drinking.” Her eventual turn—the decision to keep fighting despite this deep-seated belief—is the persistence that turned her life around.

Her story is a living example of a fundamental truth: no matter how complex the mental health issues (BPD, eating disorder, alcoholism, trauma) or how difficult the circumstances (loss, divorce, relapse), the persistence to show up every day leads to the other side. Healing is messy, but it is always possible.

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High-Functioning Alcohol Use: 10 Lessons from Sober Coach Courtney Anderson to Escape the Moderation Cycle

“From 19 to 29 was my, my decade-long career with alcohol. A love affair. Yes. A very toxic one.”

For many, the journey into sobriety isn’t a sudden fall but a slow, creeping realization that a habit once seen as fun or a rite of passage has become a toxic, decade-long career. Courtney Anderson, a sober coach, author, and podcast host, spent ten years navigating what is now often referred to as gray area drinking—where alcohol use causes significant distress and negative consequences without fitting the traditional, high-severity picture of alcoholism.

Courtney’s story, shared on Recoverycast, is a powerful testament to the fact that change is possible and a life beyond the moderation cycle is within reach, even for the high-functioning individual. Her experience moving from a shy teen who found freedom in booze to a high-achieving woman building a sober life offers a vital roadmap for others seeking to break free.

1. The Deceptive Allure of Alcohol for the Shy and Reserved

Courtney’s initial interactions with alcohol were marked by caution due to a family history of alcoholism and mental health issues. Her first heavy drinking experience at age 17 was “violently ill.” Yet, a trip across the border to Canada on her 19th birthday fundamentally shifted her perspective. She described this moment as falling in love with the drinking culture and how it made her feel.

“I was a shy kid… And so I felt like that first night of drinking at a bar, it loosened me up. I was able to dance with dudes. Like I just, it felt like I was finally free.”

For many who struggle with social anxiety or shyness, alcohol acts as a quick, albeit deceptive, social lubricant. This feeling of being “finally free” can create a powerful association between alcohol and self-confidence, setting the stage for a dependency that often goes unexamined for years. This is especially true in cultures, like the one she described in the Midwest, where heavy drinking is an ingrained social norm and “a natural evolution” in a young person’s life.

2. Understanding the Gray Area Drinking Spectrum

Courtney’s active drinking period, from age 19 to 29, was an evolution from “fun” to “something darker.” This decade showcases the full spectrum of alcohol use disorder (AUD), which wasn’t widely discussed as a spectrum when she was going through it. At 25, she recognized the internal voice telling her, “You’re gonna have to quit drinking one day,” yet she spent the next four years attempting to moderate.

Key elements of her gray area drinking included:

  • Blackouts: Losing hours or nights of memory.
  • Mixing Substances: The use of alcohol led to cocaine use, which she noted she “would not have done… if I wasn’t drinking.”
  • Functional Exterior: She “always held a job,” “always paid my bills,” and held it together, which is characteristic of high-functioning alcohol use. This outward appearance of control often delays seeking help because the individual, and those around them, minimize the internal struggle.
  • The Moderation Cycle: A four-year period of making rules for herself—”stick to beer only,” “only drink on the weekends”—only to slowly move the goalposts and “always going back to how it’s ended.” This constant bartering with yourself is exhausting and breeds shame.

3. The Shift from Hangovers to Panic Attacks

One of the most defining and terrifying shifts in Courtney’s drinking was the onset of extreme anxiety following a night of heavy use. After she turned 25, her “hangovers turned to panic attacks.” This is a common and critical progression in heavy drinking, often referred to as alcohol-induced anxiety or hangxiety.

“It was not just like a little teensy bits of anxiety. It was like full blown. I am thinking I’m going to die.”

The physical and psychological stress alcohol places on the central nervous system leads to a rebound effect when it leaves the body. The brain, attempting to rebalance from the depressant effects of alcohol, becomes hyper-excitable, leading to intense fear, racing heart, and the feeling of impending doom. This experience was so severe that it led her to an urgent care visit where, in her words, she genuinely felt she was “gonna die and have a heart attack.” This escalating consequence makes the cycle more difficult to maintain and often serves as a significant motivator for change.

4. The Cat-alyst: Finding Your Non-Self-Love Reason

Courtney’s ultimate decision to quit came after a dramatic blackout that resulted in her losing her cat, Fiona, by leaving a sliding glass door open. For three agonizing days, she was in the “worst hangover of my life,” crippled by guilt and shame, while her boyfriend was furious.

In a moment of desperation and clarity, she made a pact: If I find her, this is my sign to give up alcohol.

When Fiona emerged on the third day, the world went silent—a true “universe, god slash movie moment.” The cat, a rescue and the heart of her partner, became the catalyst for her change.

“A lot of people wanna debate this one where it’s like, well, you shouldn’t get sober for something else. But it’s like, but something’s gotta be the catalyst. And at, at that beginning, I did not love myself.”

While the eventual goal of sobriety is self-love, the starting line often involves a deep connection to something or someone else: a child, a partner, a pet, a career, or a health crisis. This external motivation provides the necessary leverage when self-worth is low. Her husband’s clear boundary—”You can continue to drink. I’m not gonna partake in this anymore… it’s too much”—also forced a choice: keep the drinking life or keep the loving partner.

5. Prioritizing the Single, Crucial Goal in Early Sobriety

After her “day one” on August 18, 2012, Courtney’s first year of sobriety was focused on one thing: not drinking today. She recognized the danger of trying to overhaul her entire life at once.

“That first year for me was just like, I’m not drinking today, and that is all I’m gonna focus… It’s too much [to take on everything at once].”

This foundational principle is critical for sustainable recovery. It involves:

  • White Knuckling: The first two years were admittedly a lot of “white knuckling”—pushing through cravings and discomfort with sheer willpower.
  • Holding onto Gratitude: Starting every morning with: “Thank you for another day sober.”
  • Radical Self-Care: Allowing herself to “eat cupcakes,” “nap if I need to,” and take time away from the world. This is the opposite of the perfectionism and people-pleasing that often fuel addiction.
  • The Ugly Process: Acknowledging the raw, unfiltered emotions that surfaced, including “driving around… like crying and screaming in my car.” This is the natural, messy, and necessary process of feeling the feelings she had been numbing for a decade.

Courtney also made an important distinction about traditional recovery programs: she found the 12 Steps overwhelming initially (“How the hell am I gonna stay sober for 10 years?”). This highlights the importance of finding a recovery path that resonates with the individual’s mental and emotional state at the time, which may not always be a one-size-fits-all approach. For those struggling to find the right fit, it’s important to explore various options and resources. Recovery.com offers tools to filter and find mental health and addiction treatment specific to your needs, including therapy types and levels of care.

6. The Three-Year Blueprint for Rebuilding a Sober Life

After prioritizing sobriety in year one, Courtney built upon that foundation with an intentional, phased approach. Her first year was all about stopping the drinking, focusing only on being sober today, and embracing radical self-care.

In her second year, she moved on to address her physical health, integrating “fitness and nutrition” now that her mind wasn’t clouded by alcohol.

Her third year was dedicated to personal development. This is when she started developing her “morning routine” of meditation and reading and actively returned to therapy to work on underlying emotional issues.

This phased approach prevents burnout and allows the individual to develop self-trust and confidence incrementally. Each day, week, and year sober builds a sense of “I can do hard things,” which replaces the shame and self-hatred of active addiction. This slow but steady process is how you develop the “new version of me.”

7. The Surprise Realizations of Early Sobriety

When asked about the biggest surprises in her first year, Courtney pointed to two major insights:

  1. The Overwhelming Surge of Emotion: Addiction is often about numbing. When the substance is removed, all the feelings—past trauma, present anxiety, sudden joy, and crushing guilt—come “to the surface” at once. This is the hardest part, but also the most essential for true healing.
  2. The Discovery of Inner Strength: “I’m a lot tougher than I thought… I can do hard things.” The courage it takes to get sober reveals a resilience that was hidden beneath the addiction. This newfound strength becomes the engine for long-term recovery.

8. Nurturing Recovery Long-Term: The Non-Negotiable Routine

Over a decade into sobriety, the work isn’t over—it evolves. Courtney’s continued sobriety relies on awareness and action to avoid becoming “stagnant” in recovery, which she calls “the dangerous thing.”

  • Getting Help When Needed: When she developed postpartum OCD after her son’s birth, she immediately went back to therapy, demonstrating that asking for help is a sign of strength, not failure.
  • Continuous Self-Regulation: A major challenge, even over a decade later, came in the form of motherhood. “I understand why mom’s drink. I get it. I have been humbled.” In that moment of intense stress, her awareness kicked in.
  • The Non-Negotiable Morning Routine: Her established year-three habits became her bedrock: “I had to get back onto my gratitude list, my 10 to 15 minutes of just reading personal development and get back onto my meditation.” Even on vacation, this routine is a non-negotiable tool for grounding herself. “At least I can control this,” she noted.

9. Coaching for the Highly Sensitive and Perfectionist

Courtney’s coaching practice, Sober Vibes, focuses on high-achieving women dealing with gray area drinking. She recognized a pattern: many of the women she works with are empaths and highly sensitive people (HSPs), often with tendencies toward perfectionism and codependency.

  • Empathy and Anxiety: Highly sensitive people feel everything deeply, and alcohol becomes a tool to “make it stop.”
  • The Codependency Trap: The relentless cycle of people-pleasing and over-booking themselves leads to depletion. “You gotta allow yourself some rest, you have to allow yourself, you time before you give all to others.” This continuous pouring from an empty cup leads to burnout and a “F it, what’s the point?” mindset that drives them back to the bottle.

Her coaching gives these women “permission just to be” and encourages radical rest and boundaries, breaking the cycle of self-sacrificing behavior that underlies their drinking.

10. The Power of Personalization in Healing

Courtney waited six years to become a coach to ensure she had worked through her own codependency and had a solid foundation. Her core philosophy is that “there’s no one way to heal because it’s so personalized. It’s not one size fits all.” This is why she works one-on-one with clients, meeting them where they are and building a bespoke plan based on their unique personality and challenges.

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Suzanne Warye’s 9 Candid Lessons on Sobriety, Motherhood, and Calling Out Mommy Wine Culture

If you have ever wondered whether you “qualify” for sobriety without a dramatic rock bottom, this conversation is for you. In a wide ranging interview on Recovery Cast, Suzanne Warye, host of The Sober Mom Life and author of The Sober Shift, lays out a compassionate, modern path to alcohol free living that is honest, practical, and deeply hopeful. She talks about chasing connection, wrestling with shame, navigating OCD in motherhood, and why mommy wine culture is not an accident. Her message is simple and powerful, you do not have to lose more to choose yourself. “You qualify for sobriety,” she says, even if the outside looks fine.

Below are the biggest takeaways, pulled straight from her story and phrased so a busy reader can skim, reflect, and act.

1) You qualify for sobriety, period

Suzanne opens with the line many of us need to hear most. You do not need to count losses to count yourself in. You do not need a DUI or an arrest or a partner’s ultimatum. Choosing a full life without alcohol is available to you right now. Her North Star, repeated with warmth, you do not have to wait to lose more.

That reframe dissolves the old gatekeeping around recovery. It also challenges the idea that sobriety is a punishment. As Suzanne later explains, treating sobriety like a penalty is “so dangerously wrong,” because the gift on the other side is presence, trust, and peace of mind.

2) Moderation is not a character test, it is a mental load

Before she quit, Suzanne did what many smart strivers do, she “rocked moderation,” stacked with rules and vigilance. It looked responsible from the outside, it felt exhausting on the inside. “You say moderation and I cringe,” she admits, because alcohol is a highly addictive substance that changes your brain on contact.

Sobriety removed the noisy calculus. No more waiting to see if a friend orders another round, no more water then wine then maybe one more. “Do you know how much brain power I have freed,” she says, calling the first days a felt sense of relief.

3) A wake up call can be quiet and still count

Suzanne does not tell a catastrophe story, she tells a clarity story. The moment that changed everything arrived with a question no mother wants to face, could she trust herself to get her kids home safely if alcohol was invited, and with the memory she could not shake, nursing her 3 month old while in a blackout the night before. That was enough. She chose to be done.

When her husband assumed it was another next day vow, she heard her own voice and decided to make it true, then and there. She opened Audible, searched for sobriety, and started learning. This Naked Mind by Annie Grace was first, which gave her words and science she never got as a teen.

4) Mommy wine culture is a business strategy, not a wink and a meme

The glamorized reels and cute stemless glasses did not just happen. “It is not by accident that moms have been targeted by big alcohol,” Suzanne says. When a market needs new customers, it packages ethanol as empowerment and positions wine as the fix for exhaustion, anxiety, and the chaos of caregiving. That is not support, that is sales.

She has seen the mechanics up close from her earlier life as a lifestyle influencer. She shot pretty pictures for a “botanical” vodka campaign, poured the liquor down the drain, then posted the aesthetic. The image sells, the reality harms, and the mom in Wisconsin or Iowa is the collateral.

5) Sobriety is presence, not punishment

We have been taught to count down to 21 like alcohol is a rite and to treat abstaining like a timeout. Suzanne flips that script. Drinking is not a privilege you earn, she says, and sobriety is not the penalty box when you mess up. It is a pathway to being fully here, feeling your feelings, and trusting yourself again.

That trust shift is the whole point. She wanted to be the same mom at the pool party at 5 p.m. that she was at 9 a.m., the safe person anxious kids can run to, the adult who remembers the conversations and keeps the promises. That is not a downgrade in joy, it is the upgrade.

6) Romance the reality, not the martini

Ask yourself what day drinking actually gives you. Suzanne calls it like she lived it, day drinking meant you are blacked out by 7 p.m., or hungover by 7 p.m., neither is the golden hour we romanticize. Naming that gap between glossy fantasy and gritty reality helps break the spell.

She also points out how pop culture primed us. Reality TV and aspirational feeds show the party, not the price. When you compare your next day to their edited night, shame grows. The fix is not better hiding, it is better honesty, with yourself and with each other.

7) OCD, intrusive thoughts, and why thoughts are not orders

Suzanne did not know she had OCD until after becoming a mother. Intrusive thoughts flooded in, not just what is the worst that could happen, but the terrifying twist, what if I did it. Therapy and medication gave her language and distance. The key lesson for early sobriety, your thoughts are not you. There is space between what your brain offers and what you choose.

She now teaches women to treat alcohol thoughts like any other odd brain blip, notice, normalize, and do not assign them mystical meaning. You are not a bad spouse because you noticed the UPS driver is attractive, and you are not doomed to drink because your brain suggested it. There is a lot of room between thought and action, thank goodness.

8) Grief will test you, community will carry you

About a year into sobriety, Suzanne’s father died. Everyone around her was drinking, and she understood the pull to blunt the edge. Instead, she cried, she told her kids the truth about her sadness, she let her husband hold her on the closet floor, and she felt the hard thing with clarity. She calls that endurance a gift she gave herself.

Her takeaway is not moral superiority, it is honest compassion. Grief can sideline anyone. Do what you can. And also, notice the beauty that arrives when you let a feeling complete its arc. That experience convinced her she could handle social anxiety, FOMO, and nerves too. She had walked through fire, puddles would not scare her anymore.

9) Connection is the cure, not the wine

Suzanne founded The Sober Mom Life Cafe, a daily Zoom community where women raise hands, share shame, and get seen without judgment. The rule of the room is simple, tell the truth, even if your voice shakes, and keep coming back. That kind of belonging repairs the exact hurt alcohol promised to soothe.

She has watched relationships deepen too. Her husband tried a year without alcohol, then decided not to go back, her mom and brother quit as well. In sobriety you often start friendships at sixty, not at zero, because you skip small talk and step into the good stuff, the messy, human, real.

Bonus, a few practical moves Suzanne used early on

  • Anchor to your truest memory, she kept returning to one clear image, that morning on the couch when she decided she was done. She revisited the feeling in her chest often, especially when her brain tried to romanticize the past.
  • Make mornings the vacation, her first alcohol free trip came only three weeks in, and she discovered the joy of sunrise runs and long days she could fully feel. Make the morning your event, not the evening.
  • Feed your mind, she started with This Naked Mind and kept going, audiobooks in one ear while wrangling a five year old, a two and a half year old, and a three month old. Education built healthy fear and confident language.

The bigger shift

Suzanne’s story reframes the entire cultural script. Alcohol is not a mandatory accessory to adulthood. Sobriety is not the scarlet letter you wear when you fail. For many women, especially mothers, the marketing rose colored the harm, and the solution is not tighter rules, it is a cleaner lens and a kinder room. If you crave deep connection, if moderation has become an Olympic sport, if your thoughts scare you and you want space to breathe, you are allowed to choose something different, today.

“Hop on a meeting, turn on your camera, raise your hand, even if your voice shakes.” Keep telling the truth about your doubts and your shame, and keep coming back. On the other side, there is hope and freedom.

Listen, share, reflect

If this resonated, give the full Recovery Cast episode a listen, then pass this post to someone who needs the permission slip. For a deeper dive, check out Suzanne’s book The Sober Shift, she shares her story along with other women who did not wait to lose more, calls out the myth of moderation, and names the marketing that targets moms. The book “comes out September 30,” and you can find it wherever you buy books.

Biggest lesson, you are not behind, you are right on time. Sobriety is not about what you have lost, it is about what you are ready to gain, presence, trust, connection, and a life you do not need to numb.

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Signs of a High Functioning Alcoholic: 3 Ways to Recognize Patterns Before They Get Worse

When most people picture alcohol addiction, they imagine someone whose life has fallen apart. But the reality is often far more complex. Plenty of people with alcohol use disorder maintain successful careers, strong relationships, and outward appearances of having everything together.

What society often terms “high functioning alcoholics” are simply people with alcohol use disorder who continue to manage their day-to-day responsibilities. With more than 29 million Americans having alcohol use disorder,1 many of these people are managing to keep up appearances while privately struggling.

For many people, this can be confusing. When you’re still showing up for work and handling your responsibilities, it’s easy to think everything’s fine. You (and even your loved ones) might not even realize there’s a problem—until a consequence arises that’s too big to ignore. Rather than waiting for things to get worse, it’s best to spot the patterns and work on changing them before they become more serious.

Let’s take a look at what constitutes alcohol disorder, how to spot the subtle warning signs of high-functioning alcoholism, and what you can do if you think your drinking has become a problem.

What Does “High-Functioning Alcoholic” Actually Mean?

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR) defines alcohol use disorder2 as “a problematic pattern of alcohol use leading to clinically significant impairment or distress.” You might hear people use the term “high-functioning alcoholic,” but that’s not a medical diagnosis. It’s just a way to describe someone who has an alcohol addiction but still manages to keep up with their work, family, and personal life.

Alcoholism is a prevalent condition.

“According to the 2024 National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH),3 27.9 million people ages 12 and older (9.7% in this age group) had AUD in the past year.”

Many people with drinking problems look completely normal on the outside. They go to work every day, pay their bills, and seem to have it all together. But just because someone is functioning doesn’t mean they’re healthy. These are often people who have learned to use alcohol as their go-to coping mechanism for stress, anxiety, or just getting through tough days. If you’re someone who works hard and puts a lot of pressure on yourself, you might be more likely to fall into this pattern.

How It Develops Over Time

It usually starts small. Maybe you have a glass of wine to unwind after a stressful day. Over time, you might need 2 glasses to get that same relaxed feeling. Before you know it, what started as occasional stress relief becomes something you feel like you need every day.

What makes this so tricky is that our culture makes a lot of drinking seem totally normal. Having drinks at work events, unwinding with cocktails after a long day, or drinking on weekends are all things society tells us are just part of being an adult. So it can be hard to tell when you’ve crossed the line from normal social drinking to something more concerning.

Wondering whether your habits fall into that murky middle ground between normal and problematic drinking? See our guide to gray-area drinking to help you figure out where you stand.

What to Look For: Signs That Drinking Might Be a Problem

The signs aren’t always dramatic—in fact, they’re often subtle things that are easy to explain away. Here are some signs to watch for,3 whether you’re concerned about yourself or someone you care about.

Changes in Behavior and Physical Health

Shifts in drinking patterns:

  • Needing more alcohol than before to feel relaxed or “normal”
  • Drinking every day, even if it’s just “one glass of wine with dinner”
  • Always having alcohol around or suggesting activities that involve drinking
  • Having a drink in the morning or drinking to get rid of a hangover

Physical signs your body is adapting to regular alcohol use:

  • Getting headaches, feeling tired, or getting sick more often
  • Feeling shaky, sweaty, or having trouble sleeping when you haven’t had alcohol
  • Changes in appetite, drinking instead of eating, or gaining weight from alcohol calories
  • Generally not feeling as healthy as you used to

Behaviors that might indicate hiding or controlling drinking:

  • Keeping alcohol in unusual places around the house or office
  • Drinking alone or being secretive about how much you’re actually drinking
  • Getting defensive when someone mentions your drinking habits
  • Planning your day or social activities around when you can drink

Emotional and Psychological Patterns

Emotional patterns that might signal a problem:

  • Saying you “need” a drink to unwind after work, feel comfortable at social events, or fall asleep
  • Getting moody or anxious when you can’t drink when you planned to
  • Feeling like alcohol is your main way to deal with stress or difficult emotions
  • Making jokes about your drinking when people bring up concerns (it’s often easier than having a serious conversation)

Mental health changes that can sneak up on you:

  • Feeling more anxious or depressed than usual, even though you’re drinking to feel better
  • Getting stuck in a cycle where you drink to cope with bad feelings, but then feel worse the next day
  • Noticing that problems you used to handle fine now feel overwhelming without alcohol

Memory issues that are more serious than they might seem:

  • Having gaps in your memory after drinking (not remembering parts of the night or conversations)
  • Experiencing “brownouts” where things feel fuzzy or unclear after drinking
  • Brushing off memory problems as just “having too much fun,” when they’re actually warning signs

These emotional and mental patterns can develop so gradually that they’re not very noticeable. You might not realize that you’re having mood swings when you can’t have your usual drink, or that you’re using alcohol as your go-to solution for everything from work stress to social anxiety.

Social and Professional Indicators

Signs can also show up in how you approach work and social situations.

Work and social patterns that might raise concerns:

  • Planning your schedule around when you can drink (like choosing lunch spots with bars or timing meetings so you can have drinks after)
  • Needing alcohol to feel confident in work situations like presentations or networking events
  • Working extra hard to make up for times when drinking alcohol affects your performance
  • Only enjoying social activities that involve alcohol, or feeling awkward at events where there’s no drinking
  • Losing interest in hobbies you used to love if they don’t include drinking

Signs that maintaining your responsibilities is getting harder:

  • Calling in sick more often than you used to (especially on days after you’ve been drinking)
  • Having your work quality slip occasionally after nights of heavier drinking
  • Driving when you probably shouldn’t, but telling yourself you’re “fine” because nothing bad has happened yet
  • Finding that relationships are getting strained because people are starting to comment on your drinking

What’s challenging about these patterns is that they can look like normal adult behavior from the outside. Having drinks after work or choosing restaurants with good wine lists seems totally reasonable—until you realize you’re planning your whole life around when and where you can drink.

Why This Matters: The Hidden Risks

It’s important to understand that just because you’re still managing your daily life doesn’t mean your health isn’t at risk. When you drink more than the recommended limits4 (that’s more than 2 drinks a day for men or one for women), you increase your chances of serious health problems like liver disease, heart issues, stroke, and certain cancers.

Your mental health takes a hit, too. Even though a lot of people drink to deal with mental health conditions like stress or anxiety, alcohol actually makes mental health disorders worse over time.5 It also interferes with your sleep, which affects everything from your mood to how well you can concentrate.

What makes alcohol use hard to manage is that its consequences often get worse gradually. But just because something feels manageable today doesn’t mean it will stay that way. Eventually, work performance can slip, relationships get strained, and health problems become unavoidable. 

The Denial Trap: When Functioning Feels Like Proof That You’re Fine

Perhaps most concerning is that when you’re still functioning, it’s easy to think you don’t need help. Research backs this up: a major study found that 67% of people who met clinical criteria for alcohol use disorder still described themselves as just “light” or “moderate social drinkers.“6 Even when they were drinking 9–11 drinks at a time and experiencing real problems from alcohol, they didn’t see themselves as having a drinking problem. When doctors asked them general questions about their drinking, they gave answers that completely missed the seriousness of what was happening.

This means high-functioning alcoholics are less likely to seek professional treatment, while still being at risk for alcohol’s health consequences. But getting support early is usually much more effective than waiting until there’s a crisis.

When It Might Be Time to Get Help

If several of these signs feel familiar, you don’t need to wait until everything falls apart to reach out for support. Getting professional help early is usually easier and more effective.7

Take a moment to think honestly about your relationship with alcohol. 

  • Do you often end up drinking more than you planned? 
  • Feel anxious when you can’t have your usual drink? 
  • Have you tried to cut back but struggled to stick with it? 

These are all signs that it might be worth talking to someone.

If you’re worried about someone else, approach the conversation with care. Focus on specific things you’ve noticed rather than making it about labels. Something like “I’ve noticed you seem stressed when you can’t have wine with dinner” works better than “I think you’re drinking too much.”

If you’re concerned about someone you care about and aren’t sure how to bring up the topic of treatment, our guide to talking to your loved one about going to rehab can help you approach this difficult conversation with compassion and clear boundaries.

Your Options: Finding the Right Path Forward

The good news is there are lots of different ways to get help, and it’s easier than ever to find treatment programs that work with your life and schedule.

Less Intensive Options That Let You Keep Your Routine

More Intensive Support When You Need It

  • Alcohol detox: Safe, supervised withdrawal from alcohol with medical monitoring (usually 3–7 days)
  • Residential (inpatient) alcohol rehab: Stepping away from daily life for focused, round-the-clock treatment (usually a combination of evidence-based and holistic treatments over 30–90 days)

Ongoing Support for the Long Haul

  • Continuing care and lifestyle changes: Building sustainable habits, stress management skills, healthy routines and support system, and attending ongoing support groups (including Alcoholics Anonymous, SMART Recovery, or other non-12-Step Groups)

Many people start with less intensive options and adjust as needed. The key is finding something that feels doable for your situation. You don’t have to commit to the most intensive option right away—your healthcare provider can help you figure out what level of support works best.

Feeling overwhelmed by all the alcohol addiction treatment options out there? Our guide to understanding levels of care in addiction treatment breaks down everything from outpatient therapy to residential programs, so you can figure out which type of healthcare might work best for your situation.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

Recognizing these patterns is the hardest part. You don’t need to wait for things to get worse before reaching out for help. Recovery is entirely possible, and getting support early often makes the process smoother and more successful. 

Search alcohol treatment centers near you to explore your options and start making changes that support our well-being.

FAQs

Q: What are the characteristics of a functioning alcoholic?

A: High-functioning alcoholics may maintain jobs, relationships, and daily responsibilities while struggling with alcohol dependence. Key signs include daily drinking, needing alcohol to cope with stress, high tolerance, and getting defensive about drinking habits. They may appear successful outwardly while privately battling cravings and an inability to control consumption.

Q: Do high-functioning alcoholics know they have a problem?

A: Usually not, especially early on. Since they’re still meeting responsibilities and haven’t hit “rock bottom,” they rationalize their alcohol abuse as normal stress relief. Denial is common because acknowledging an alcohol problem threatens their self-image and lifestyle.

Q: Is being a high-functioning alcoholic dangerous?

A: Yes. Regular heavy drinking increases risk factors for liver disease, heart problems, stroke, and cancer regardless of functioning level. The condition typically worsens over time, and behaviors like impaired driving create immediate dangers.

Q: How can I identify if someone is a high functioning alcoholic?

A: Watch for daily drinking, always having alcohol available, needing drinks to relax or socialize, making jokes about drinking, irritability when they can’t drink, blackouts after drinking, and needing increasing amounts of alcohol.

Q: What is substance use disorder?

A: Substance use disorder is a condition in which alcohol or drug use causes significant life problems. Symptoms include an inability to your control use, continued use despite consequences, tolerance, withdrawal symptoms, and spending excessive time obtaining or using substances. Severity ranges from mild to severe.

Q: What is heavy drinking?

A: The CDC defines excessive drinking8 as 15+ drinks per week for men or 8+ for women. Binge drinking is 5+ drinks in one session for men, 4+ for women. Any alcohol consumption carries risk for health complications that increase with the amount consumed.

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Lauren Welch’s 11 Signs That It’s Time to Reevaluate Your Relationship with Alcohol

In a world where “mommy wine culture” and social drinking are not only normalized but often celebrated, it can be incredibly difficult to recognize when a casual habit crosses the line into something more. For many, the progression is a slow, almost imperceptible burn, a gradual shift from social experimentation to a nightly ritual. It’s not always a dramatic rock bottom, but rather a quiet realization that something isn’t working anymore.

In a recent episode of Recoverycast, host Brittani Baynard sat down with Lauren Welch, a salon owner, hairstylist, and the founder of Sober Curious Society. Lauren’s journey is a powerful testament to this reality—a story that moves from a “normal” childhood and typical adolescent partying to a sober-curious life sparked by a series of pivotal, deeply personal events. Her experience sheds light on the subtle signs that can signal a need for change, even when your life appears to be “together.”

1. Recognizing the “Slow Burn” of Alcohol Use

Lauren’s story begins like many others: with early experimentation in high school. “I had a quote unquote normal childhood,” she shares, a statement that underscores the seemingly harmless beginnings of her relationship with alcohol. She describes a social life centered around parties in rural Land O’Lakes, Florida, where she first noticed a difference in her own drinking habits compared to her peers. “I even like knew back then that I overdid it more than other kids did,” she admits. This early awareness is a crucial sign—an internal red flag that many people, including Lauren, initially dismiss.

This slow progression continued through college and her early career as a hairstylist. While she was able to maintain her studies and professional life, drinking remained a central pillar of her social identity. “Everything we did involved drinking,” Lauren said. This is a common theme for many people, where alcohol becomes the foundation of friendships and social activities. The identity of being the “fun” or “party” person can become so intertwined with drinking that the thought of stepping away feels like losing a piece of yourself.

2. When Drinking Shifts from Social to Solitary

A significant turning point in Lauren’s story occurred after she had her children. The social party scene was replaced with the quiet solitude of home life, and her drinking habits adapted to match. The glass of wine she started with became a nightly ritual—a way to unwind after a long day of motherhood and work.

“It switched from going out to bars to drinking on my couch,” she explains. This transition is a key indicator that alcohol is no longer just a social lubricant but has become a coping mechanism. The public affirmation of being a “fun” partier is replaced by a private, often lonely, reliance on alcohol to manage stress and anxiety. For Lauren, this was exacerbated by the pandemic, a period she describes as a “never ending hurricane party” that made it feel acceptable to drink more heavily. The stresses of a newborn, a business shutdown, and her husband’s furlough created a perfect storm of anxiety, and alcohol became the only tool she felt she had to cope.

3. The Unpredictability of Your Body’s Reaction

As Lauren’s drinking progressed, she began to notice a startling inconsistency in how her body reacted to alcohol. She describes a feeling of being “freaked out” by her own behavior. “I could have a glass of wine and be like blackout drunk sometimes,” she shares, “or I could have like several drinks and be up and talking and you wouldn’t know that I drank a lot.” This unpredictability is a serious warning sign. It suggests that your body’s tolerance and response to alcohol have become dysregulated, making it impossible to control the outcome of a single drink. This lack of control is a major characteristic of alcohol use disorder.

This phenomenon of a shifting tolerance is often a sign of increased physiological dependence. As the body adapts to regular alcohol intake, the brain’s chemistry is altered, leading to unpredictable and sometimes dangerous reactions. The simple act of having a drink is no longer a guaranteed outcome; it becomes a gamble with your own behavior and well-being.

Explore alcohol addiction treatment centers.

4. When Alcohol Becomes a Daily Craving

For Lauren, the habit became so ingrained that it triggered a psychological response similar to Pavlov’s Bell. The sound of a cork popping or a bottle opening would send a signal to her brain that it was time to drink. “I’m not joking, like the cork like opening, it would send this like response, like the sound of it. It was very weird,” she says. This is a classic example of classical conditioning, where a neutral stimulus (the sound of a cork) becomes associated with a desired outcome (the feeling of drinking alcohol). This craving is not just a passing thought; it’s a part of a daily routine, “like clockwork” that dictates her actions.

This behavioral pattern indicates that alcohol is no longer a choice but a compulsion. The brain has been rewired to anticipate and seek out the substance, making it incredibly difficult to break the cycle without addressing the underlying psychological and physical dependence.

5. Using Alcohol to Numb Traumatic Loss

The most significant event that fueled Lauren’s drinking was a series of personal tragedies that struck her family in quick succession. After opening her new salon suite, she experienced the sudden death of her husband’s brother, followed by her own father’s stroke just two weeks later. This double blow left her feeling overwhelmed and powerless. “I was just so sad and so angry,” she recalls. In the face of such immense grief, alcohol became her primary coping tool—a way to numb the pain and escape the reality of her loss.

While it is natural to seek comfort during a time of grief, turning to alcohol can create a cycle of avoidance and dependence. It prevents the brain from processing emotions in a healthy way and can exacerbate feelings of depression and anxiety in the long run. Lauren notes, “I was just so depressed and sad and anxious and, you know, you put on like a good face for like your family and your kids and all that kind of stuff. But I felt like I was like crumbling inside.” This external strength, combined with internal turmoil, is a dangerous combination that can lead to isolation and deeper reliance on alcohol.

See grief treatment options.

6. Arguments Stemming from Alcohol Use

One of the most telling signs of a problem, for Lauren, was the conflict it created in her marriage. Her husband, who is a recovering addict himself, became concerned about her drinking habits. “A lot of our arguments would be stemmed from when I was drinking,” she admits. Alcohol lowered her inhibitions, giving her “liquid courage” to bring up long-held frustrations, which often escalated into arguments.

This is a common issue for couples where one partner is struggling with alcohol use. Alcohol can impair judgment, increase aggression, and lead to communication breakdowns. The partner who is not drinking may feel they are walking on eggshells, while the one who is drinking may feel judged or controlled. This dynamic can erode trust and intimacy over time. Lauren mentions that her husband was “supportive, but stern,” which is an important balance for loved ones to strike. Offering support while also setting firm boundaries can be a crucial step in helping someone acknowledge and address their alcohol use.

7. When Your Defense Mechanisms Are Stronger Than Your Honesty

Despite the obvious signs, Lauren was in a state of denial about her drinking. When she and her husband went to see a therapist, she framed the issue as “He thinks that I drink too much, but I only have a couple glasses of wine.” This attempt to rationalize her behavior and shift the blame is a powerful defense mechanism. The therapist, wisely, did not take a side, instead allowing Lauren to come to her own conclusions.

This illustrates the challenge of addressing alcohol use. The individual must be willing to confront their own denial, which can be a slow and difficult process. Lauren acknowledges this, saying she “was still grasping to like, make other people realize, ‘Yeah, she’s fine.'” This need for external validation, to be told that her behavior was normal and acceptable, was a significant barrier to her recovery.

8. Putting On a Brave Face While “Crumbling Inside”

Lauren’s story is a powerful reminder that addiction doesn’t always look like what we see in movies. She was a successful business owner, a mother, and a wife who appeared to have it all together. However, underneath the surface, she was struggling deeply. “I felt like I was like crumbling of like,” she says. This is often the case with high-functioning alcohol use disorder. People who are able to maintain their jobs, relationships, and responsibilities may not fit the stereotype of an “addict,” which can make it even harder for them to seek help.

The act of “compartmentalizing” life is a common coping strategy. Lauren used her work to distract herself from the grief and stress she was experiencing. While this can be effective in the short term, it prevents true emotional processing. The pressure to appear strong and in control can be immense, especially for women and mothers who are often seen as the emotional anchors of their families. For Lauren, this meant she had to put on a “good face” for everyone, while internally she felt like she was falling apart.

9. The Fear of Being a Burden and Feeling Alone

When asked why she didn’t open up to others about her struggles, Lauren and Brittani both spoke to a common feeling of not wanting to be a burden. “I just felt like how, how? Like, how do I say it? Yeah. And like if I say that something’s wrong, what’s gonna happen?” Lauren shares. This fear of vulnerability can lead to profound isolation. People may feel that their problems are too big for anyone else to handle, so they keep them to themselves.

This sense of isolation is a key factor in the cycle of addiction. When people feel that they have to carry their burdens alone, they are more likely to turn to substances to cope. The shame and stigma associated with addiction can make it feel impossible to reach out for help. However, as Lauren’s story shows, the turning point often comes when you finally admit that you can’t do it alone and start the journey toward healing.

10. The Breaking Point: From “One Week” to a New Way of Life

For Lauren, the epic “meltdown” that became the catalyst for her sober journey didn’t happen in a dark, lonely place. It happened at a “black-tie, very fancy” family wedding where she was a bridesmaid. While holding a glass of wine, she “start screaming and yelling and acting like a total lunatic.” In that moment, she realized she had no one left to blame but herself. This public, undeniable display of her loss of control became her moment of clarity. “I was like, I think I’m gonna not drink for a week,” she remembers telling herself. This small, seemingly manageable goal was the first step toward a complete lifestyle change.

This is a powerful example of what is often called a “rock bottom,” but it’s a personal one. It doesn’t have to be a major catastrophe; it can be an event that forces you to confront the reality of your behavior and its consequences. From that week-long break, Lauren never looked back. Her “sober curious” journey was sparked, and it has since led to the creation of the Sober Curious Society, a community dedicated to exploring all aspects of sobriety.

11. Creating a New Life and Finding Genuine Connections

Today, Lauren is a testament to the fact that a life without alcohol is not a life without fun. She works with younger people who have found creative, sober ways to socialize and connect. “The amount of activities that they all do that don’t involve drinking is so cool,” she says. This is a stark contrast to her own youth, where every activity was centered around drinking.

She emphasizes the importance of building “bonds not based around like substances,” and reflects on her past friendships. “I think I had a million acquaintances, but I don’t know if I could have like, counted on someone to open up to.” Sobriety, for Lauren, has been about replacing those surface-level connections with genuine, meaningful relationships. It’s about finding joy in life’s simple moments and learning to be present, rather than constantly seeking to escape.

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From the Streets to Sobriety: Deonte’s 7+ Ways to Find Purpose in Addiction Recovery

Life in the streets, for many, promises a path to wealth, respect, and a certain kind of freedom. Yet, as countless stories of struggle and redemption show, this path often leads to a different reality—one of addiction, incarceration, and a profound disconnection from one’s true self. This is a journey intimately understood by Deonte, a man whose life was defined by the street hustle until a series of humbling events forced him to confront his truth. In a powerful conversation on the Giving Voice to Addiction podcast, Deonte shares his raw, unfiltered story of moving from a life of crime and substance abuse to one of purpose, authenticity, and leadership within the recovery community. His journey is a testament to the idea that you are more than your mistakes, and it offers a blueprint for anyone seeking to reclaim their life from the shadows of their past.

The common misconception is that a past filled with misdeeds and addiction disqualifies a person from a meaningful future. Deonte challenges this notion head-on, proving that the same experiences that once held him captive are now the foundation of his advocacy. He’s transformed his past from a source of shame into a source of strength, inspiring others to do the same. His story is not just about overcoming addiction; it’s about a complete lifestyle reform, moving from a criminal mindset to a purpose-driven life. Through his narrative, we’ll explore how his lowest moments became the catalysts for his greatest transformation, and how his unwavering commitment to his authentic self has paved the way for a powerful new purpose.

1. Reforming Your Lifestyle is the First Step

When Deonte talks about his recovery, he doesn’t just mention overcoming opiate addiction; he speaks of “lifestyle reform.” This distinction is crucial. For him, the drug use was a symptom of a larger problem—the chaotic, draining, and criminal lifestyle of the streets. He explains, “The lifestyle that we’re exposed to, it plays a huge part in feeding… substance use, chemical dependency.” The constant hustle of selling drugs, the violence of gang life, and the need to always be on guard spiritually and emotionally drained him. This lifestyle, while offering a false sense of freedom and control, actually took him away from his family and community, chipping away at his authentic identity.

The environment we inhabit and the choices we make within it have a profound impact on our well-being. For Deonte, the criminal environment not only fueled his addiction but also distorted his sense of self. He found himself making choices that were “probably not true to [his] authentic self,” and this internal conflict left him feeling exhausted and hollow. His recovery, therefore, wasn’t just about quitting drugs; it was about completely overhauling his life—changing his environment, his relationships, and his mindset. This holistic approach is often the key to lasting recovery.

2. The Link Between Trauma, Grief, and Addiction

Deonte’s drug use escalated dramatically after a devastating personal loss—the death of his brother while he was in prison. This tragedy, combined with the lack of support he expected upon his release, left him vulnerable and seeking a way to numb his pain. He found himself “really just trying to shield the pain of my brother passing.” This highlights a critical, often-overlooked aspect of addiction: its deep connection to trauma and unresolved grief.

Upon his release from prison, Deonte was met with competition instead of the brotherhood he had anticipated. The absence of his brother, who was meant to be his support system, created a void he desperately tried to fill. He describes how the addiction began to “catch on and just get worse and worse and just… trying to deal and cope with that.” This is a common pattern; without healthy coping mechanisms, individuals facing intense emotional pain may turn to substances to escape or suppress their feelings. The lack of accountability he experienced after cutting off his supportive friends further enabled his spiraling use, demonstrating the importance of a strong, healthy support network in navigating grief and recovery.

Explore treatment options for grief and trauma.

3. The Illusion of Control: From Dealer to User

Deonte’s story takes a compelling turn as he describes his transition from a drug dealer to an addict. For him, selling drugs was about “the idea, let’s get rich… get a certain number and then get out the game.” This is a classic example of the illusion of control—the belief that one can engage in a dangerous activity without succumbing to its pitfalls. He never intended to become a user, but as his circumstances changed and his emotional pain grew, he became vulnerable. As he eloquently states, “money is really what fed it.” With access to money and drugs, the lines between business and personal use blurred.

“I was actually, I had intentions on being, you know, a big mech, you know, or just trying to get, a certain number and then get out the game. It never goes that way, you know, it is, it is never enough. Or you get to that number and then it’s more.”

This slippery slope is a powerful warning. The false sense of security that comes with having money and access can quickly lead to an amplified use. What began as a taste of Percocets in prison evolved into a full-blown dependency on heroin after his finances and emotional state took a hit. His descent from a respected dealer to a desperate user looking around his room to see what he could sell was his rock bottom. It was a humbling experience that forced him to confront the truth of his situation.

See heroin treatment centers.

4. Hitting Rock Bottom and the Call for Change

Deonte’s lowest point wasn’t a dramatic overdose or a violent confrontation; it was the quiet, humiliating moment he stood in his room, contemplating what he could sell to get his next fix. He reflects, “I had all this access, all these connections, to now I’m somebody looking around they room like, what could I sell? That’s when I knew like, this is, this is my rock bottom.” This moment of profound vulnerability was a turning point. It stripped away his ego and forced him to see himself for what he had become—the very person he used to look down on.

This rock bottom experience led him to seek help through medicated assisted treatment (MAT), specifically Suboxone. He describes MAT as what “helped me… address it and really start to like, get a plan and be able to manage it.” Medicated assisted treatment, which combines medication with counseling and behavioral therapies, has been proven to be highly effective in treating opioid use disorder and reducing the risk of overdose. This was a crucial first step, but his journey was not linear. Like many in recovery, he experienced relapses, but each slip-up taught him something new. It wasn’t until a second incarceration—which he calls “the best thing that ever happened to [him]”—that he found true, lasting sobriety.

5. Finding Path, Plan, and Purpose

Deonte’s final incarceration was the moment God “sat him down,” as he puts it. It was a bizarre twist of fate—being set up by an acquaintance over a stolen car he didn’t even know was stolen—that landed him back in prison. He could have been bitter, but instead, he saw it as an intervention. It was in this moment that he found his path, plan, and purpose. The motivation to change was multifaceted: the birth of his second daughter, his mother’s plea, and the realization that he was tired of being part of a cycle of loss and violence.

“I was just looking around like, I’m tired of being a part of this. I’m tired of what this done did to me and my people. And I think that’s really just, it sparked something in me to take action.”

This newfound purpose became his driving force. He decided to become the one to “narrate this story,” taking his past and turning it into a tool for change. His path is now advocating for others, speaking out about his experiences, and getting involved in community organizations. This act of service not only helps others but also reinforces his own recovery. The sense of purpose and the opportunity to give back fills the void that drugs and the streets once occupied.

6. The Power of Community and Shared Experience

One of the most powerful messages Deonte offers is the importance of surrounding yourself with people who are on a similar path. He tells people who feel “too far gone” to “get around recovery, people get around success stories, feel it, touch it, you know, get involved.” He emphasizes that while everyone’s journey is different, seeing someone who has walked a similar path and succeeded can provide the spark of hope needed to start.

As a peer provider, Deonte works with incarcerated individuals, sharing his story and showing them that recovery is possible. His visibility—on podcasts, on the news, even on billboards—is a powerful tool for hope. When they see a person who is “similar to me… being accepted and celebrated,” it challenges the stigma and encourages them to believe in their own potential for change. This sense of belonging and shared experience is a cornerstone of effective recovery. A meta-analysis published in the Journal of Substance Abuse Treatment confirmed that peer support services are effective in improving substance use outcomes.

7. The Liberation of Living Your Authentic Self

For Deonte, the ultimate reward of recovery is authenticity. He describes his former self as a “lost, confused, broken man,” but the man he is today is “purpose driven” and “liberated.” He explains that his street identity was something he “built… because I thought that I had to be this guy.” In reality, his authentic self was the person who loved riding horses with his grandfather.

“the man in front of you is somebody who’s took accountability. Also not perfect by any means, just open and transparent about that, but also making that real effort and and you know, just taking that initiative really be that change that I wanna see in the world.”

This liberation from a false identity is the true essence of his recovery. He’s no longer operating in “fear, shame, and guilt.” By embracing his past, taking accountability, and openly sharing his story, he has found a freedom that the streets could never offer. His journey serves as a beacon for anyone who feels trapped by their past, demonstrating that the truest form of freedom comes from within, through the courageous act of self-reclamation.

Conclusion: A New Blueprint for Life

Deonte’s story is a compelling narrative of transformation. He moved from a life of fleeting, false freedom to one of enduring, authentic liberation. His path was not easy or linear, marked by setbacks and moments of despair, but each challenge became a catalyst for growth. He learned that a criminal lifestyle is not a life at all, but a constant state of spiritual and emotional exhaustion. He discovered that true strength lies not in the ego of the streets, but in the vulnerability of admitting you need help.

His experience offers a new blueprint for those struggling with addiction and a criminal past. It starts with recognizing the need for a lifestyle reform, acknowledging the deep roots of trauma and grief, and understanding that the illusion of control is a dangerous trap. The path to recovery is paved with community, peer support, and the courage to live an authentic, purpose-driven life. Deonte’s message is a powerful one: you are more than your mistakes, and your story has the power to not only change your life but to inspire others to find their own path to freedom.

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Addiction Recovery: Harry’s 5+ Signs It’s Time to Take the Leap

When you’re struggling with addiction, life can feel chaotic, unmanageable, and hopeless. You might feel stuck in a cycle of substance use, debt, and strained relationships, unable to see a way out. However, as one man’s story shows, breaking free from the cycle is possible. Harry, a former patient at Ocean Bay Recovery, shares his journey from feeling completely broken to building a life he’s proud of. His story offers a powerful message of hope and provides valuable insights into the signs that indicate it’s time to seek professional help.

“My life before I started treatment was obviously pretty chaotic,” Harry says. “I couldn’t really do anything… I was making people in my life unhappy.” This feeling of being unable to function is a common thread for many individuals in active addiction. What begins as a coping mechanism or recreational activity can quickly spiral into a condition that consumes every aspect of your life. It’s not a moral failing or a lack of willpower; it’s a medical condition that requires professional intervention.

While it may seem daunting, understanding the signs and symptoms of a substance use disorder is the first step toward recovery. Harry’s experience highlights several key indicators that it’s time to seek help. By recognizing these signs in yourself or a loved one, you can begin to move toward a healthier, more fulfilling life.

1. You Feel a Sense of Hopelessness or Desperation

One of the most profound signs that it’s time for a change is a feeling of hopelessness. For Harry, this was a constant sense of being stuck in a negative loop. He knew his actions were causing problems, but he felt powerless to stop. “I was just sick, like just tired of the same, the same things always happening,” he recounts. This sentiment of being at the end of your rope is often referred to as the gift of desperation—a turning point where the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the fear of change.

This feeling of desperation can manifest in various ways, such as:

  • A loss of control: You feel like you can no longer manage your substance use, and it’s controlling you.
  • Recurring negative consequences: You continue to use despite financial problems, legal issues, or damaged relationships.
  • A deep sense of exhaustion: You’re simply tired of the cycle of using, hiding, and dealing with the fallout.

This is a critical moment. While it feels like the worst place to be, it’s also a powerful motivator. It’s the point where you acknowledge that your current path is unsustainable and that a new way of life is the only option. “I got to a point where I was finally done,” Harry says. “I knew that I can’t do this on my own.”

2. Your Life is Unmanageable

A hallmark of a substance use disorder is the deterioration of your daily life. What was once routine becomes a monumental struggle. For Harry, this meant he could “barely get to work” and could “barely do anything.” His life was no longer his own, consumed by the demands of his addiction. When your life becomes unmanageable, you may experience:

  • Inability to hold a job or meet work obligations: Your performance suffers, you miss deadlines, or you’re frequently absent.
  • Financial instability: Money is spent primarily on drugs or alcohol, leading to debt and an inability to pay for basic necessities.
  • Neglect of personal hygiene or responsibilities: You stop taking care of yourself, your home, or your family.

This unmanageability is often a key indicator that the problem has moved beyond a simple habit. Addiction hijacks the brain’s reward system, making the substance the central focus of your life. All other priorities—work, family, health—fall by the wayside. Seeking help allows you to regain control and learn the skills needed to manage your life effectively.

3. Your Behavior Harms Yourself and Others

Addiction doesn’t just affect the individual; it creates a ripple effect of destruction that touches everyone around them. Harry spoke of his past self as someone who “kept moving forward with no care for any destruction I was causing behind me.” He recognized that his actions hurt not only himself but also his loved ones. This harm can be:

  • Emotional: Lying, manipulation, and broken promises erode trust and damage relationships.
  • Physical: Substance use can lead to reckless behavior, accidents, and health problems.
  • Financial: Stealing or borrowing money from family and friends to fund the addiction.

When your actions consistently cause pain and damage, it’s a clear sign that you need help. Acknowledging this harm is a crucial step in the recovery process. It’s an act of courage to face the pain you’ve caused and take responsibility for it. Treatment provides a safe space to address these behaviors and learn how to make amends.

4. You’ve Tried to Quit on Your Own and Failed

The struggle with addiction is often marked by repeated attempts to quit that end in relapse. This was something Harry experienced firsthand. He had been to treatment before and knew the difficulty of the journey. He says, “I knew that I couldn’t do on my own.” This realization is a powerful one. Many people believe they can beat addiction through sheer willpower, but this is a common misconception. As the American Addiction Centers note, addiction is a chronic disease that requires comprehensive, long-term treatment.

Trying to quit on your own without professional help can be incredibly dangerous, especially with substances that cause severe withdrawal symptoms. For example, suddenly stopping alcohol or benzodiazepine use can lead to life-threatening complications. Professional medical detox and treatment provide a safe, monitored environment where you can manage withdrawal symptoms and begin the recovery process. If you’ve repeatedly tried to stop using and failed, it’s not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign that you need professional support.

5. The Fear of Change is Holding You Back

Change is scary, even when you know it’s for the best. Harry admitted that part of him didn’t want to go back to treatment because “there was a lot of fear.” He was content with his chaotic life because it was familiar, even if it wasn’t good. This fear of the unknown is a major barrier to seeking help. You might worry about:

  • Losing your sense of identity
  • The pain of withdrawal
  • What life will be like without the substance
  • Failing again

Harry’s advice to anyone on the fence is simple: “Just do it.” He emphasizes that the fear you feel is a sign that change is necessary. He now recognizes that the fear was far worse than the reality of treatment. “It was an amazing environment, amazing people and so much support, and patient as well,” he said of his experience at Ocean Bay Recovery. This kind of supportive environment can help you face your fears and build a new, sober life.

The Path Forward: From Broken to Rebuilt

Harry’s story is a testament to the transformative power of recovery. He went from a chaotic, unmanageable life to one of stability, purpose, and gratitude. “My life now compared to before I started treatment is… black and white. It’s two completely different things,” he says. He now has a job where he feels valued, manages his finances, and practices gratitude daily.

The key to his success, he explains, wasn’t just talking about change but taking action. “People can tell you all the things you want to hear, but unless you implement things, nothing will change,” he shares. In treatment, he learned concrete, actionable steps like practicing gratitude, being mindful, and living the principles of recovery. These lessons helped him become an “asset to pretty much all aspects” of his life, a profound shift from the liability he once felt he was.

If you recognize these signs in your own life or the life of a loved one, remember that you’re not alone. The first step, however difficult, is reaching out for help. Harry’s advice is simple yet powerful: “If you’re considering it, there’s not much else to lose.”

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Addiction Recovery: Mariah’s 6 Ways Finding Help Can Transform Your Self-Worth

For many people, the journey into addiction begins with a promise—a promise of escape, a release from pain, or a momentary thrill. Yet, as the years go by, that promise fades, leaving behind a life that feels broken and lost. This was the reality for Mariah, whose path through drug and alcohol addiction led her to a pivotal moment of decision. Her story is a powerful reminder that while addiction can be a deeply isolating experience, the path to recovery is paved with connection, compassion, and the life-changing realization that you are worthy of a better life.

Before seeking help, Mariah described her life as “very broken, lost, and very painful.” Her experience is a common one, as substance use disorders often create a cycle of self-sabotage and despair that can leave a person feeling completely shattered. The initial excitement of drug use gives way to a grim and relentless need, and the individual can find themselves trapped in a state of emotional and physical turmoil. This constant struggle becomes an all-encompassing reality, making it difficult to imagine a life free from the cycle of addiction.

1. The Point of No Return: When the High Fades

There comes a point in active addiction when the substance no longer provides the desired effect. The chase becomes a desperate obligation, and the fleeting moments of escape are replaced by an unyielding sense of emptiness and pain. This is often the moment of clarity, the “rock bottom,” where the illusion of control shatters and the individual realizes they are completely powerless. For Mariah, this moment was marked by a chilling realization that her addiction had stopped serving its original purpose.

“I knew it was time for me to go to treatment when the drugs no longer served me as they used to,” she explains. “I no longer got the same high, got the same excitement. I was just broken. My life was in shambles and I needed help.”

This sentiment is shared by many who enter recovery. The initial euphoria is replaced by a crippling tolerance, forcing the individual to use more just to feel “normal.” The drugs no longer provide the same excitement; instead, they are a desperate attempt to stave off the crushing pain of withdrawal and the profound emptiness that addiction creates. This realization is often the catalyst for seeking help, as the pain of staying the same finally outweighs the fear of change. It signifies a turning point from a life of active substance use to a search for true healing.

2. Overcoming Fear and Stigma

For someone contemplating treatment, the decision to seek help is often met with a wave of fear and uncertainty. The stigma surrounding addiction can make a person feel like a failure, a burden, or “just another number.” Society often portrays people with substance use disorders in a dehumanizing way, which can lead to a powerful fear of being judged or misunderstood. Mariah experienced this firsthand when she first considered treatment.

“When I was going into treatment, I expected to just be treated as another number, just like another drug addict coming off the streets,” she recalls. This fear is a major barrier to seeking help for many people. They anticipate a cold, sterile environment where they will be reduced to a diagnosis rather than treated as a human being in need of care. However, modern, evidence-based treatment centers are designed to challenge these fears by providing a compassionate and person-centered approach. Instead of being just another number, individuals are met with a team of professionals who understand the complexities of addiction and are dedicated to providing personalized care.

3. The Power of a Supportive Environment

The environment in which recovery takes place is crucial to a person’s success. An environment of support and genuine care can completely change a person’s mindset and ability to heal. In treatment, a person is given the opportunity to feel safe and seen for the first time in a long time. They are surrounded by people who understand their struggles and professionals who are trained to help them navigate the complexities of their addiction. Mariah’s experience highlights the profound impact of this type of setting.

“The environment was super supportive, full of love, and just full of people that really wanted to help me genuinely and really wanted the best for me and my life,” she says.

This kind of environment is foundational to the recovery process. It allows an individual to let their guard down and begin to address the underlying issues that fuel their addiction, such as trauma, mental health conditions, and self-esteem issues. The group therapy sessions and one-on-one counseling provide a space for vulnerability and honesty, where a person can share their story without fear of judgment. This sense of community and unconditional support is a powerful antidote to the isolation that addiction fosters. In a supportive environment, people in recovery learn that they are not alone and that their struggles are valid. For more information on what to expect from a quality treatment program, you can explore this guide to addiction treatment centers.

4. The Revelation: Deserving a Better Life

Perhaps the most significant and transformative aspect of Mariah’s journey was the realization that she deserved a better life. Addiction often operates on a foundation of low self-worth. People with substance use disorders frequently feel unworthy of happiness, love, or success, and they may use drugs or alcohol as a form of self-punishment or self-sabotage. Treatment, therefore, is not just about abstaining from substances; it’s about rebuilding a person’s core sense of self and instilling the belief that they are worthy of a fulfilling life.

This was the pivotal lesson that stuck with Mariah. “The one thing that has stuck to me from my experience at Simonds is that I don’t have to live the life I was living anymore,” she shares. “I learned that I truly deserve a better life, and I deserve a lot more. But most of all, that I don’t have to be treated the way I was treating myself. I began my self-love journey.”

This profound shift from a mindset of punishment to one of self-love is the cornerstone of lasting recovery. By learning to treat themselves with kindness, understanding, and acceptance, individuals in recovery can break the cycle of self-hatred that often fuels their addiction. This revelation is not just a passing thought; it’s a fundamental change in how a person views themselves and their potential. It’s the first step in creating a new identity, one that is not defined by their addiction but by their resilience and their capacity for growth. To read more about how to develop a healthier relationship with yourself, you can explore resources on coping skills for anxiety and addiction.

5. Conscious Choices and a New Reality

Recovery is not a single event; it’s a continuous, daily process of making conscious choices. Once a person has had the revelation that they deserve a better life, they must then learn to practice the skills that will build that life. The self-destructive habits of addiction must be replaced with new, positive behaviors that reinforce self-worth and well-being. This is where the hard work of recovery begins, and it’s a process Mariah has embraced.

“I now live a much better life. I have practiced self-compassion, self-acceptance, and self-love as I said. I no longer feel the need to punish myself or self-sabotage,” she says. “Instead, I try my best to make the right choices consciously every day and build my life up the best I can.”

The shift from self-sabotage to conscious, deliberate choice is a monumental change. For someone in active addiction, choices are often dictated by the need for the substance, leading to a life of broken promises and unfulfilled potential. In recovery, a person learns to pause, reflect, and make decisions that align with their new goals and values. This might mean choosing to attend a 12-step meeting instead of isolating, seeking professional help for mental health, or simply engaging in a hobby that brings joy. These small, daily choices add up to a new reality—a life built on a foundation of self-respect and intentionality.

6. The First Step: Believing You’re Worth It

Mariah’s story is a testament to the power of one person’s decision to change their life. Her journey from being lost and broken to living a life filled with self-love is a powerful beacon of hope for anyone struggling with addiction. While the initial fear of treatment may be overwhelming, her advice is simple yet profound.

“If you are considering treatment, the best advice I can give you is just give it a shot. Give yourself a shot,” she urges. “We all deserve a much better life than we’ve been living in our addiction. If you’re considering treatment, it must mean your life was somewhat like mine, broken maybe, maybe lost, maybe even in shambles. Going to treatment, it can really change your mindset and you deserve it.”

This is the central message of Mariah’s journey: you deserve it. You deserve to heal, to find peace, and to build a life that is fulfilling and free from the chains of addiction. The decision to enter treatment is not a sign of weakness; it is an act of incredible strength and a declaration that you believe in your own potential. To take the first step towards recovery, exploring different treatment options can be a great place to start.

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Navigating Addiction: Chris’ 5+ Ways Recovery Can Reclaim Your Career and Family

A person’s career and family are two of the most important things in their life. When addiction takes hold, it can damage both. For Chris, his life was on a hectic cycle of working, doing household chores, and doing drugs, with no time for a social life or family activities. As a result, his career stalled, he was passed over for promotions, and his family relationships were strained. He knew something had to change, and that change came in the form of seeking treatment for substance abuse.

Chris’s experience highlights how addiction can erode the foundational pillars of a person’s life, from their professional aspirations to their most intimate family connections. It serves as a powerful reminder that addiction isn’t just a personal struggle; it’s a force that can disrupt and dismantle every aspect of a person’s world. In this article, we’ll explore the specific ways addiction can impact your career and family and how treatment can help you reclaim your life.

1. How Addiction Sabotages Your Career

Addiction can have a significant, detrimental impact on your career. When you’re using Addiction can have a profound and damaging effect on your professional life. As a person’s focus shifts from work to their next opportunity to use, job performance inevitably declines. For Chris, this meant his career was “at a halt” and he was consistently “passed over for promotions.” This kind of professional stagnation is a common consequence of substance use.

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) highlights the significant impact of substance use on the workplace, including increased accidents, absenteeism, and lower productivity1. These issues can not only harm your professional reputation but can also put you and your colleagues at risk. Over time, these behaviors can lead to disciplinary action, job loss, and a significant derailment of your career.

Common signs that substance abuse is impacting work performance include:

  • Decreased productivity: You may find it difficult to concentrate, complete tasks, or meet deadlines.
  • Increased absenteeism: You might start calling in sick more frequently or showing up late.
  • Poor decision-making: Substance use can impair judgment, leading to bad decisions on the job.
  • Strained relationships with colleagues: Irritability and mood swings, which are common symptoms of substance abuse, can make it difficult to work with others.
  • Financial problems: The cost of supporting a drug habit can lead to financial instability, which can, in turn, affect your work performance.

The good news is that many employers are now more equipped to support employees struggling with substance abuse. The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) provides certain protections, and many companies offer Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) that can provide confidential support and resources.

2. The Impact of Addiction on Your Family

Addiction doesn’t just affect the person using substances; it creates a ripple effect that touches everyone in their circle. Chris’s experience with his family “arguing and just wasn’t good” is a familiar story for many. The trust, communication, and emotional bonds that hold families together can all be severely damaged.

Addiction’s effects on families can include:

  • Emotional distress: Family members often experience feelings of helplessness, anger, and betrayal.
  • Financial strain: Money that could be used for household expenses or savings is often diverted to support the addiction.
  • Breakdown in communication: Family members may become secretive or dishonest to hide the extent of the problem, leading to a breakdown in open and honest communication.
  • Role reversal: Children may be forced to take on adult responsibilities, such as caring for younger siblings or managing household finances.
  • Increased conflict: Arguments become more frequent and intense as family members struggle to cope with the chaotic and unpredictable behavior of the person with the addiction.

Families often fall into a cycle of enabling behavior, where they unknowingly support the addiction by making excuses or covering up for the person using. This can prevent the individual from facing the consequences of their actions, delaying their decision to seek help. However, as Chris’s story shows, a crisis point, such as losing out on a promotion or experiencing family strife, can become the catalyst for seeking change.

3. The Unexpected Benefits of Treatment

Chris’s expectation of treatment was that it would simply be a “30 day to dry you out,” but he quickly learned it was much more than that. Treatment, especially at a center like Simonds Recovery Centers, is designed to address the underlying emotional and psychological needs that fuel addiction. It provides a comprehensive approach to healing, not just from the substance but from the behaviors and thought patterns that led to its use.

Treatment programs offer a variety of tools and therapies, including:

  • Individual and group therapy: These sessions help individuals explore the root causes of their addiction and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): This therapy helps individuals identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors that contribute to substance use.
  • Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): DBT focuses on teaching skills for mindfulness, emotional regulation, and distress tolerance.
  • Family counseling: This is a crucial component that helps rebuild trust and communication within the family unit and provides family members with the support they need to heal.

These tools are not just for the time spent in treatment; they are for a lifetime of recovery. Chris learned this firsthand, as the lessons from his treatment “still stick with me.” He now has a foundation to build a new, sober life.

4. Learning to Sit with Uncomfortability

One of the most profound lessons Chris learned in treatment was the importance of “sitting with the uncomfortability.” This is a core concept in recovery. For many people, substance use is a way to escape or numb uncomfortable emotions, such as stress, anxiety, or sadness. In recovery, you learn to face these feelings head-on without resorting to drugs or alcohol.

This is a skill that takes practice and resilience. It means allowing yourself to feel difficult emotions without letting them lead to destructive consequences. As Chris wisely states, you must “don’t let short term emotions make long lasting consequences.” This advice applies to everything from a fleeting craving to a frustrating day at work or a disagreement with a loved one. Learning to tolerate discomfort is a sign of immense personal growth and a cornerstone of long-term sobriety.

Ways to practice sitting with uncomfortability in recovery:

  • Mindfulness and meditation: These practices can help you observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment, creating a space between your emotions and your reactions. A study published in the journal Substance Abuse and Rehabilitation found that mindfulness-based interventions can significantly reduce cravings and improve emotional regulation in people with substance use disorders2.
  • Journaling: Writing down your feelings can help you process them and gain perspective.
  • Distress tolerance skills: These are specific techniques, often taught in DBT, to help you get through difficult moments without making them worse.
  • Connecting with your support system: Talking to a sponsor, therapist, or a trusted friend in recovery can provide the encouragement and perspective you need to get through a difficult moment.

5. Taking the First Step: Just Go for It

Chris’s final piece of advice is perhaps the most important: “Just go ahead and do it. Give it a shot.” The decision to seek treatment can be intimidating, but the rewards are immeasurable. It’s an investment in your future, your family, and your overall well-being.

Taking the first step can feel overwhelming, but remember that many people have walked this path before you. There are resources available to help you navigate the process, from finding the right treatment center to understanding your insurance coverage. Your recovery journey starts with a single, courageous choice to ask for help.