Tag: Depression

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Addiction and Depression: Aaron’s 8 Ways to Find Hope and Transform Your Life

The journey through addiction and depression can feel like an unending night, where the light at the end of the tunnel is a cruel mirage. Yet, as countless individuals have discovered, and as Aaron eloquently shares, hope is not merely a wish; it’s a tangible outcome of courage and connection. His story, born from the depths of personal struggle and illuminated by the devastating loss of a loved one, offers a profound testament to the power of vulnerability, community, and unwavering commitment to self-care. It’s a journey from hidden shame to open acceptance, demonstrating that even when the path ahead seems impossible, there are guiding lights to lead the way.

1. The Unexpected Catalyst for Change: Finding Hope Amidst Loss

For many grappling with substance abuse, the realization that change is necessary often comes from a deeply personal and painful place. For Aaron, that catalyst arrived in the most tragic form: the overdose death of his cousin. “The day after Thanksgiving,” Aaron recounts, “I found out my cousin had overdosed on heroin and he died… Sunday I woke up and I said, I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to be the next one to die in our family.” This harrowing experience, while devastating, became the turning point that propelled him toward seeking help, despite his prior reluctance to admit his struggles.

Before this pivotal moment, Aaron, like many, held onto the belief that his drinking was merely a coping mechanism for sleep, an ingrained habit rather than a serious problem. He made “a million excuses why I wasn’t an alcoholic” and was “scared to admit that I was an alcoholic.” This internal conflict is a common thread in addiction, where denial acts as a powerful barrier to recovery. The loss of his cousin, however, shattered this denial, providing a stark and undeniable reflection of his own precarious situation. It was a wake-up call that forced him to confront the potential consequences of his unchecked substance use.

In a poignant admission, Aaron shares, “I didn’t think I was ready to be done drinking, but he was my hope.” This highlights a crucial aspect of recovery: sometimes, the impetus for change isn’t a sudden desire for sobriety, but an external force that, however painful, illuminates the urgency of the situation. His cousin, though absent, became a spiritual guide and a “higher power” in his recovery journey through Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). This unexpected source of hope underscores the profound impact that even difficult experiences can have in setting individuals on a path toward healing and self-discovery.

2. Unpacking the Intertwined Nature of Addiction and Mental Health

Aaron’s journey powerfully illustrates the inseparable link between substance use disorder and mental health challenges, specifically depression. While he initially sought help for his alcohol abuse, he readily acknowledges that depression played “a huge part of my story as well.” This duality is a common reality for many, where one condition often exacerbates or conceals the other. As the podcast host aptly puts it, “you can’t separate them… it’s trying to take the salt out of the stew to act like they’re different things.”

Aaron’s struggles with depression began at a young age, around 13 or 14, when he “didn’t feel normal” and even contemplated suicide. He initially sought therapy, but the discomfort of confronting his internal struggles led him to prematurely discontinue treatment. “It’s not comfortable feeling uncomfortable,” he admits, explaining how he told his parents he was no longer suicidal, even though he continued to struggle internally. This avoidance of discomfort later fueled his reliance on alcohol.

His drinking evolved from social high school experimentation to a deeply ingrained coping mechanism for his worsening depression. He describes a pervasive internal struggle, where his mind “doesn’t shut off” at night. Alcohol became a means to silence the relentless thoughts and induce sleep, a desperate attempt to find peace. “I just thought it was easier just to pick up a bottle and start drinking and eventually I would pass out,” he explains. This insidious cycle, where alcohol provided temporary relief while simultaneously deepening his depression, is a hallmark of co-occurring disorders. It wasn’t until he fully committed to addressing both his addiction and his mental health in rehab that he began to find genuine and sustainable relief.

Explore treatment options for alcohol addiction and depression.

3. The Progression of Addiction: From Social Drinking to Secret Shame

Aaron’s narrative provides a clear illustration of how addiction can insidiously take root and escalate. What began as casual social drinking in high school and college, where he “would get hungover and hated drinking,” gradually transformed into a pervasive and secretive habit. The shift occurred during his ten years living in Chicago, particularly while working at Cook County Juvenile Detention. The immense stress of his job, coupled with difficulties in his personal relationship, created fertile ground for his substance use to intensify.

His routine evolved into stopping at the grocery store for a pint of Fireball before even reaching home, a clear sign of escalating dependence. This marked the beginning of a descent into closet drinking, a common behavior among those struggling with addiction who wish to conceal the extent of their problem. He became “embarrassed of myself” and actively sought to avoid social situations where his drinking might be exposed. This clandestine consumption led to a life of constant deception.

The internal monologue of an active addiction is vividly portrayed by Aaron: “You would wake up and that’s kind of what was on your mind is when can I get my next drink?” During work, he would eagerly anticipate five o’clock, the moment he could escape to the liquor store. Even on weekends, his mornings began with immediate drinking, often leading to passing out by late morning and then resuming consumption in the afternoon. Despite this extreme pattern, he rationalized his behavior by pointing to his ability to maintain a job and avoid calling in sick. The perceived normalcy of his weekday drinking, which he believed “was only to help me sleep,” further masked the severity of his addiction. This deep dive into the inner workings of his addiction underscores the deceptive nature of the disease, where rationalization and secrecy become powerful tools for self-preservation, even as the addiction consumes one’s life.

4. The Transformative Power of Rehab: A Safe Haven for Vulnerability

Despite his initial apprehension, Aaron’s decision to enter rehab after his cousin’s death proved to be a pivotal turning point in his recovery. Within days of making the call to his sister, he was “flying out to California to go to rehab.” What he found there was a stark contrast to any preconceived notions he might have held about such facilities. Instead of a punitive or isolating environment, rehab became a “safe bubble” where vulnerability was not just accepted but encouraged.

“I didn’t know what rehab was going to be like,” Aaron explains, “And so when I went to rehab, it was just completely eye-opening that people were talking about their problems and that it was okay to be vulnerable and it was okay to share your story.” This revelation—the power of shared experience—was deeply impactful. As he listened to others’ stories, he found himself recognizing his own struggles reflected in their narratives, prompting the realization, “I need to be here.”

Rehab also served as his introduction to Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). Initially shy and unfamiliar with the program, he quickly embraced the principles of honesty and openness. The environment fostered a sense of belonging and understanding that had been sorely missing in his isolated existence. It was in this space that he learned fundamental truths that continue to guide his recovery: “That it’s okay to talk about being an alcoholic. It’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay to cry.” This profound shift from hiding his shame to embracing his truth was a cornerstone of his healing process, laying the groundwork for a life of authenticity and sobriety.

5. Building a Robust Recovery Toolbox: Strategies for Long-Term Sobriety and Mental Wellness

Recovery, as Aaron’s experience demonstrates, is an ongoing process that requires a multifaceted approach. He emphasizes the importance of having a diverse “toolbox” of strategies and resources to navigate the complexities of daily life while maintaining sobriety and managing mental health. At the core of his toolkit is the community and unwavering support of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). “The community of AA and the people that are in recovery,” he states, “have saved my life.” He fondly recalls the powerful message he received in early recovery: “We will love you till you can love yourself.” This unconditional acceptance and support proved vital in a time when he struggled to believe in his own worth.

Beyond the vital role of AA meetings and his sponsor, Aaron incorporates specific practices into his daily routine to combat depression. He highlights the importance of simple yet impactful actions, such as opening his shades immediately upon waking and making his bed. These seemingly small acts represent a deliberate rejection of the darkness and stagnation that characterized his depressed state. He actively seeks sunlight and outdoor experiences, recognizing their positive impact on his mood. “I need to go outside or I need to call one of my friends,” he explains, understanding the importance of connection and breaking cycles of isolation.

Crucially, Aaron emphasizes the proactive management of his depression through medication, a step he initially resisted but now embraces as essential. He also communicates openly with his wife about his mental state, ensuring he has support to prevent spiraling into negative thought patterns. This awareness of his triggers and the implementation of preventative measures are critical for his well-term mental wellness. His dedication to “running a program” for his alcohol recovery—attending meetings, staying in touch with his sponsor, and prioritizing his family—shows a comprehensive commitment to a healthy, sober life. These combined strategies underscore the fact that sustained recovery is not a singular event but a continuous journey of self-awareness, proactive care, and reliance on a supportive network.

6. Embracing the Present: Living 24 Hours at a Time

A fundamental principle guiding Aaron’s recovery is the practice of living “24 hours at a time.” This approach, deeply ingrained in AA philosophy, shifts the focus from overwhelming projections about the future to managing the present moment. For someone who once grappled with suicidal ideation and the constant obsession of addiction, this daily focus provides a manageable framework for sustained sobriety and mental well-being. “I don’t look too far ahead,” Aaron explains. “If I hit my head on the pillow at night and I’m sober, it’s a good day.”

This philosophy allows him to appreciate the simple joys and accomplishments of each day, rather than being burdened by anxieties about the distant future. It’s about finding gratitude in the small victories: “I got to give my son a kiss goodnight. I got to give my kiss, uh, wife a kiss goodnight.” These moments, once overshadowed by the darkness of addiction and depression, now represent the profound beauty of his recovered life.

Living in the present also empowers him to actively engage with his mental health. While he acknowledges that negative thoughts will “constantly come” due to his long history with depression, he has developed a strategy to counteract them: “Once a negative thought comes, I need to say a hundred positive things.” This demanding but essential practice reinforces his commitment to self-care and mental resilience. By staying present and continually working on himself, Aaron ensures he can “show up for myself” and, by extension, for his family. This mindful approach to life stands in stark contrast to his past, where he was consumed by shame, secrecy, and the relentless pursuit of his next drink.

7. The Liberation of Openness: Breaking the Chains of Shame and Isolation

One of the most transformative aspects of Aaron’s recovery has been the ability to shed the pervasive shame that once defined his existence. For years, he hid his struggles with both depression and alcohol, creating a dual life where his outward presentation masked intense internal turmoil. He would drink lightly with friends, only to return home and “always had a bottle at home” to satiate his anxiety and addiction. This constant deception was a heavy burden, fueled by embarrassment and a reluctance to admit his problems.

The contrast between his former isolated self and his current openness is striking. In AA, he finds a space where “I can go and I can share what’s on my mind, and you leave the meeting feeling a million times lighter.” This stark difference highlights the power of shared vulnerability and the supportive community that AA provides. He expresses a profound desire for a similar space for mental health journeys, recognizing the “so beneficial” impact it would have for “so many people just to let the slightest thing off their mind.”

Now, he talks freely and comfortably about being an alcoholic and managing his depression. This newfound openness is not only liberating for him but also serves as an inspiration to others. He is no longer “ashamed anymore” and understands that his past experiences have led him to a place of gratitude and authenticity. By sharing his story, Aaron actively works to prevent others from walking “in the shoes that I did for so many years.” The act of admitting his struggles has dissolved the shame, replacing it with a sense of purpose and a desire to help others find their own path to liberation and recovery. This profound shift from secrecy to transparency is a testament to the healing power of honesty and connection.

8. The Hopeful Horizon: A Life Reimagined

Aaron’s journey culminates in a life that, just a few years prior, seemed utterly unattainable. His addiction and depression had led him to a point where he genuinely “didn’t think that I was gonna be here when I was 35 years old.” Now, at 38, he celebrates his sobriety as a rebirth, likening it to “turned three years old.” This metaphor encapsulates the profound transformation he has undergone, a complete recalibration of his existence.

He reflects on the tangible blessings that have entered his life since embracing recovery: a wife, a two-and-a-half-year-old son, and a rekindled relationship with his family. During the depths of his addiction, he constantly “lied to ’em” and kept his distance, driven by a misguided desire to protect them from his self-destructive behavior. “I wanted to keep my distance because I didn’t wanna hurt him,” he recalls. Now, trust has been rebuilt, and he can confidently say he will “show up and they know that I’m gonna be there and I’m not lying about anything.” This honesty and reliability are gifts not only to his loved ones but also to himself, allowing him to “just live an honest life where it’s just not constant. Did I do this or did I do that?”

The internal shift is equally profound. While he continues to work on his depression in therapy, the “obsession of alcohol has been lifted,” allowing him to dedicate his energy to mental well-being. He recognizes that his negative thoughts are a battle he will face lifelong, but he now possesses the tools and the will to confront them. His gratitude for his current life is palpable, a stark contrast to the despair he once felt. Aaron’s story is a powerful reminder that even from the darkest depths, a life rich with purpose, love, and authenticity is not only possible but within reach for those willing to take the courageous step towards help.

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Kat Sorensen Journey from Chaotic Addiction to Thriving Powerhouse

The path to recovery is rarely straight. For many, it’s a winding road filled with detours, unexpected turns, and moments of profound clarity. Kat Sorensen, CEO of Laguna Shores Treatment Center, founder of Chains to Change, and content creator known as SoCalKattt, embodies this journey. With nearly a decade of sobriety, Kat’s story is a powerful testament to healing with compassion, structure, and integrity, highlighting the transformative power of community in achieving lasting recovery.

Kat’s story, shared on Recoverycast with host Brittani Baynard, offers invaluable insights into the insidious nature of addiction and the profound liberation that comes with confronting it head-on. From a high-performing tech sales executive and competitive bodybuilder battling alcohol and prescription drug addiction to a beacon of hope in the recovery community, Kat’s experiences illuminate key aspects of addiction and the recovery process.

Unraveling the Roots of Early Addiction

Kat’s journey began not in a tumultuous home, but in a stable, middle-class environment with loving parents. Yet, from a young age, a profound sense of loneliness and discomfort in her own skin shadowed her. This internal struggle became the fertile ground for addiction to take root.

Her first experience with alcohol at age 12 was a revelation. While her friends sipped, Kat “gulp[ed] as fast as [she could].” The immediate effect was a powerful sense of peace and belonging. “As soon as I started to feel this, like, it was like this piece,” she recalls. “It was like, oh my god. I’ve been waiting for this for like 10 years. Like, I have needed this for like 10 years, and I started to really feel okay in my own skin.” This early experience, coupled with a fantastical first kiss, cemented alcohol’s association with ultimate relief and desire fulfillment.

This narrative highlights a critical point: addiction often stems from an attempt to self-medicate underlying emotional pain or discomfort. Even in the absence of overt trauma, feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, or an inability to cope with intense emotions can drive individuals toward substances that offer temporary solace. Kat’s story underscores that a seemingly perfect upbringing doesn’t inoculate against these internal struggles.

The Chameleon Effect: Mastering High-Functioning Addiction

A hallmark of Kat’s early addiction was her ability to maintain a double life. As a varsity athlete who also frequented parties, she became adept at being a “chameleon,” seamlessly blending into different social circles and managing her substance use while excelling in other areas of her life. This early mastery of high-functioning addiction allowed her to rationalize and conceal the growing problem.

She learned to manage her alcohol consumption alongside her responsibilities as an athlete and student. This ability to appear functional, even successful, on the surface is a common characteristic of high-functioning addicts. It often delays intervention because the outward signs of struggle are not immediately apparent. Kat’s experience demonstrates how early in life, individuals can develop sophisticated coping mechanisms that, while allowing them to navigate daily life, simultaneously entrench their addictive behaviors. This period of her life underscores the deceptive nature of addiction – it can thrive in the shadows of apparent normalcy.

The Illusion of a “God-Shaped Hole” and the Reality of Untreated Addiction

In her late teens, Kat experienced a profound spiritual transformation. Attending church and embracing a new community, she found a sense of belonging and peace that initially mirrored the relief she sought from alcohol. She married young, eschewed drinking, and for a time, found solace in her faith. However, this period also revealed a critical insight into untreated addiction: it often manifests in other behaviors.

Kat stopped drinking in college but began running “insane” distances—10, 12, even 15 miles a day. This seemingly healthy activity became a new outlet for her unaddressed inner turmoil. As she aptly puts it, “I just transferred my addiction to that.” This phenomenon, known as cross-addiction or addiction transfer, is common in untreated individuals. If the underlying spiritual, emotional, or psychological issues driving the addiction are not addressed, the addictive energy will simply find a new outlet.

The Misconceptions of Alcoholism: Beyond Daily Drinking

When her first husband suggested she was an alcoholic, Kat dismissed it. Her understanding of alcoholism, like many, was narrow: “people imagine an alcoholic is somebody who drinks daily, someone who, um, gets DUIs. Someone who can’t hold a normal job, someone who can’t graduate from school, somebody who can’t be in a normal relationship.” She could go months without drinking, seemingly disproving his assertion.

This common misconception underscores the subtle and pervasive nature of the disease. Alcoholism isn’t solely defined by the frequency or quantity of consumption, but by the mental obsession and loss of control once drinking begins. Kat’s frustration with only having “one glass of wine” and the subsequent “mental gymnastics” she underwent to get more perfectly illustrate this point.

“That is the allergy of alcoholism is that one drink sets off the mental obsession,” Kat clarifies. This “allergy,” unlike a physical reaction to shellfish, manifests in the mind, making self-diagnosis crucial. Only the individual truly understands the compulsive thoughts and behaviors triggered by that first drink.

Explore alcohol addiction treatment options.

The Progression of the Disease: From “College Thing” to Catastrophe

After a period of sobriety, Kat returned to drinking during a sales conference, rationalizing it as a way to fit in with her new corporate environment. This return, however, was not a gentle reintroduction but a re-ignition of the “allergy.”

“That thing that has been waiting for me because my disease of alcoholism is progressive. It’s fatal. It wants me dead, but it will settle for me drunk,” Kat powerfully states. This progressive nature meant that her addiction picked up precisely where it left off, quickly escalating. What began as an innocent “open bar” soon led to blackouts, infidelity, and the breakdown of her marriage. The consequences mounted, proving that once the “allergy” is triggered, it reasserts its power, often with greater intensity.

Kat’s repeated attempts to externalize the problem—blaming her job, her marriage, even her age—are characteristic of addiction. The thought of stopping drinking was never an option, even in the face of devastating consequences.

Geographical Cures and the Persistence of the Problem

In a desperate attempt to salvage her marriage and escape the spiraling consequences of her drinking, Kat quit her job and moved to a small mountain town, believing a change of scenery would solve her problems. This concept of a “geographical cure” is a common but ultimately futile strategy in addiction.

As Kat quickly discovered, “we believed that a move would change me and within like, I don’t know, maybe the first two months of being there, I’m doing cocaine with my client.” The external change failed to address the internal struggle. Addiction isn’t about location; it’s about the individual’s relationship with substances and their underlying coping mechanisms. No matter where Kat went, her untreated addiction followed, only escalating in severity, from alcohol to cocaine and eventually Molly. This illustrates that true recovery requires an internal shift, not just an external relocation.

Lowering Standards and the Deceptive Nature of Active Addiction

As Kat’s addiction progressed, her moral compass began to spin wildly out of control. Her candid admission, “lowering my standards faster than I could violate them,” perfectly captures the destructive trajectory of active addiction. The values and boundaries she once held dear eroded, replaced by a relentless pursuit of the next high.

“The things that I said I would never do, I was doing on a daily basis,” she recounts. This includes running off to Mexico with a stranger, using drugs daily at work, and even transporting illegal substances on planes. The sheer recklessness and disregard for personal safety highlight the profound cognitive distortions that occur in active addiction. The disease’s grip becomes so strong that it overrides reason, self-preservation, and personal integrity. Kat’s ability to maintain a veneer of functionality while engaging in increasingly dangerous behaviors underscores the deceptive power of addiction.

The Necessity of Confrontation and the Power of External Intervention

Even as her life spiraled, Kat’s cunning enabled her to navigate increasingly perilous situations, from driving intoxicated to transporting drugs. She believed a move to California and a fresh start would finally be the answer. Yet, even as she unloaded her belongings, the lure of old habits presented itself.

What finally broke the cycle wasn’t self-will or another geographical cure, but the intervention of someone who forced her to slow down and confront her reality. “Someone made you slow down. Yes. Someone made you slow down. Yes. And do something I didn’t want to do,” Kat admits. This external push, often from a sponsor, therapist, or loved one, is frequently a catalyst for change. It’s a moment where the addict is no longer able to outrun or rationalize their disease and is compelled to look inward. For Kat, this meant confronting the deeply ingrained patterns of self-will and beginning the rigorous process of self-inventory.

The Role of Community and Compassion in Healing

Kat’s journey through the 12-Step program and her current role in the recovery community underscore the vital role of community, compassion, and integrity in lasting recovery. When she initially sought help, her instinct was to escape her marriage. But her sponsor, recognizing the self-will driving this decision, urged her to pause and do the hard work of inventory. This gentle yet firm guidance prevented a rash decision and initiated a deeper healing process.

Today, Kat leads Laguna Shores Treatment Center and has founded Chains to Change, an online community dedicated to recovery. These initiatives highlight her commitment to providing the same support and structure that were instrumental in her own sobriety. Recovery is not a solitary endeavor; it thrives in environments of shared experience, mutual support, and non-judgmental guidance. The ability to connect with others who understand the struggle and to give back to the recovery community is a powerful aspect of maintaining sobriety and fostering sustained well-being.

Recovery: A Continuous Journey of Small, Consistent Steps

Kat Sorensen’s story is a powerful reminder that recovery is a dynamic, lifelong process built on small, consistent steps. From the initial “24 hours at a time” to the ongoing commitment to self-reflection and community engagement, each decision contributes to a life of sobriety and fulfillment. Her transformation from a high-functioning addict to a compassionate leader in the recovery field demonstrates that even from the darkest places, healing and transformation are possible.

Recovery.com is a valuable resource for anyone seeking mental health or addiction treatment options. You can filter by location, price, insurance coverage, therapy type, mental health condition, levels of care, and more, making it easier to find the right support for anyone, anywhere.

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The Path to Peace: Asia’s 5+ Steps to Embracing Your Mental Health Recovery Journey

Life can be chaotic. We may find ourselves entangled in a web of emotional dysregulation, strained relationships, and internal battles. For many, this tumultuous existence feels like an inescapable cycle, leaving them questioning if genuine happiness is even possible.

However, as Asia, a woman in recovery from mental health challenges, depression, anxiety, food addiction, and domestic violence PTSD, powerfully articulates, “My life before I started my recovery journey was extremely chaotic. I had problems with just about every family member of mine. I had problems in my relationship. I was emotionally dysregulated. Life was not fun, and I had realized that something had to give and something had to change. And I guess that something had to be me.” Her journey from chaos to clarity offers a beacon of hope, demonstrating that a commitment to self-discovery and intentional action can pave the way for a more peaceful and purposeful life.

1. The Power of Educating Yourself: Illuminating Your Inner Landscape

The initial spark for change often ignites with a moment of stark realization. For Asia, this moment arrived when her personal struggles began to impact her professional life. “When I realized like I’m losing control, I might lose my job based on my lack of being able to deal with the things that I have going on in a healthy way,” she recalls. This turning point propelled her toward self-education, a foundational step that laid the groundwork for her entire recovery. She discovered Emotional Chaos and Clarity by Phillip Moffitt, a book that profoundly resonated with her experiences. “It was nothing but emotional chaos and I wanted clarity,” she explains. This act of seeking knowledge allowed her to identify and understand the intricate patterns of her emotional life, providing a roadmap for change.

Self-education in recovery goes beyond simply reading a single book. It involves actively seeking out information, resources, and perspectives that shed light on your specific challenges. This could include:

  • Reading books and articles: Explore topics related to your mental health conditions, trauma, addiction, and emotional regulation. Look for reputable sources, including academic texts, self-help guides by qualified professionals, and memoirs of individuals who have successfully navigated similar journeys.
  • Listening to podcasts and webinars: Engage with content that offers expert insights, personal stories, and practical strategies for managing your symptoms and fostering well-being.
  • Attending workshops and seminars: Participate in educational programs that provide structured learning environments and opportunities to connect with others who share similar experiences.
  • Journaling and self-reflection: Regularly documenting your thoughts, feelings, and experiences can help you identify triggers, patterns, and areas for growth. This introspective practice complements external learning by fostering a deeper understanding of your internal landscape.

By investing in self-education, you equip yourself with the knowledge and vocabulary to articulate your experiences, challenge unhelpful thought patterns, and develop a more informed approach to your recovery. It empowers you to become an active participant in your healing process, rather than a passive recipient of circumstances.

2. Navigating the Therapeutic Journey: Persistence Pays Off

While self-education provides a crucial foundation, professional guidance often proves indispensable on the path to recovery. However, as Asia’s experience highlights, finding the right therapeutic fit can be a challenging, multi-step process. “I sought out therapy and the first time felt good, but I only went once. And then years later, more things were happening to me and I found another one virtually, and I went for a while, but I didn’t really feel the most comfortable with that person. And I think that’s why people give up on recovery… My third time didn’t even work out because I felt connected, but I didn’t feel like I was getting questioned enough to get to the root of what would help me change my mind about my issues.” This candid admission underscores a common hurdle in recovery: the temptation to abandon the process when initial attempts don’t yield immediate results.

Asia’s persistence ultimately led her to a fourth therapist who proved to be a transformative force. “Now I’m on my fourth therapist and she has been one of the best things ever on my journey of mental recovery, of defeat and depression, anxiety, food addiction and PTSD from domestic violence. She connects with me. She understands me. She digs deeper. She asks me questions that forces me to really connect with how I’m feeling and figure out, you know, how to stand on my boundaries, how to be a stronger person, how to be more resilient.” This powerful endorsement emphasizes the importance of a therapist who not only provides a safe space for expression but also actively challenges and guides you toward deeper understanding and actionable change.

When seeking therapy, consider the following:

  • Be patient and persistent: It’s rare to find the perfect therapist on the first try. Don’t be discouraged if you need to try a few different professionals before finding someone who aligns with your needs and goals.
  • Communicate your needs: Be open and honest with potential therapists about what you’re looking for, your concerns, and your preferred therapeutic approach.
  • Prioritize connection and trust: A strong therapeutic alliance built on trust and mutual respect is crucial for effective treatment.
  • Look for a therapist who challenges you: While support is important, a good therapist will also gently push you to confront uncomfortable truths, explore underlying issues, and develop new coping mechanisms. They should ask insightful questions that encourage self-reflection and deeper understanding.
  • Consider different modalities: Various therapeutic approaches exist, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) for trauma, and psychodynamic therapy. Researching these options and discussing them with potential therapists can help you find a suitable fit.

The commitment to finding the right therapeutic support, even when the path is winding, is an investment in your long-term well-being and a testament to your dedication to recovery.

3. Recovery is a Marathon, Not a Sprint: Embracing the Ongoing Journey

A fundamental truth of recovery, as Asia eloquently states, is that “recovery is a marathon and not a sprint. Recovery is an ongoing thing. There is no finish line to recovery because we’ve been through absolutely so much in life is so much to recover from that. It’s an everyday ongoing process of just healing those wounds.” This perspective shifts the focus from a finite destination to a continuous process of growth, healing, and self-discovery.

Embracing recovery as an ongoing journey means understanding that:

  • Setbacks are a normal part of the process: There will be days when you feel overwhelmed, experience old patterns resurfacing, or face new challenges. These are not failures but opportunities for further learning and refinement of your coping strategies.
  • Self-compassion is paramount: Be kind to yourself during difficult moments. Acknowledge your efforts and progress, even when things feel challenging.
  • Consistency is key: Regular engagement with your recovery practices, whether it’s attending therapy, practicing mindfulness, or utilizing coping skills, builds resilience over time. Asia’s commitment to weekly therapy sessions, even when she initially felt she didn’t need them, highlights the importance of consistent effort. “I know I need her every week because recovery is ongoing. I think I can handle things that sometimes I’m more overwhelming than I thought.”
  • Growth is layered: Asia beautifully describes recovery as peeling back the layers of an onion: “I’m proud and excited to be able to continue to pull back layers of myself, which I call an onion, because maybe sometimes it stinks, but you know, we still use it to spice up that food. It makes you who you are, it makes the dish what it is, and we need it, and we need to keep pulling back more and more to discover what is it gonna take for us to live our most healthy lives?” This metaphor encapsulates the idea that healing is not linear; it involves continually uncovering and addressing deeper wounds and unconscious patterns.
  • Adaptability is essential: As you progress, your needs and goals may evolve. Be open to adjusting your recovery strategies and seeking new forms of support as required.

Understanding recovery as a lifelong commitment liberates you from the pressure of perfection and allows you to appreciate the continuous unfolding of your personal growth.

4. Life Transformed: The Fruits of Intentional Recovery

The rewards of embarking on a dedicated recovery journey are profound and far-reaching. Asia’s transformation is a testament to this, as she describes a life now characterized by greater peace and purpose. “My life now compared to before I started my recovery journey is a lot more peaceful. I believe that I can handle difficulty in a way that will not destroy me.” While acknowledging that life isn’t perfect and challenges still arise, she emphasizes a newfound capacity to navigate adversity without being consumed by it.

The benefits of intentional recovery often manifest in several key areas:

  • Enhanced emotional regulation: Learning to identify, understand, and manage your emotions in healthy ways reduces emotional dysregulation and reactivity.
  • Improved relationships: As you heal internally, your relationships with others often become more positive, authentic, and fulfilling. You develop stronger boundaries and communication skills.
  • Increased self-awareness and understanding: Delving into your past and present experiences helps you understand “what happened to me and how it affected me.” This self-knowledge provides clarity and empowers you to make conscious choices. Asia notes, “My life has a better sense of purpose and understanding due to how I’ve educated myself like I am this way because I went on a recovery journey to figure out what happened to me.”
  • Greater resilience: The tools and insights gained through recovery equip you to face life’s inevitable challenges with greater strength and adaptability. You learn to “fight better and always become the winner and the conqueror of any hard situation.”
  • A sense of purpose and joy: Moving beyond the constant fight with internal demons allows you to connect with your values, pursue meaningful goals, and experience genuine happiness and peace. Asia articulates this beautifully: “I know how it feels to feel amazing and at peace and go to sleep every night, grateful and thankful, and wake up the same way the next morning.”

The transformation is not about eradicating problems but about developing the capacity to respond to them with greater wisdom and strength. It’s about shifting from being defined by your struggles to being defined by your resilience and capacity for joy.

5. Self-Compassion and Intentionality: Your Daily Commitment

At the heart of a sustainable recovery journey lies the twin pillars of self-compassion and intentionality. Asia’s advice to those facing similar challenges is direct and compassionate: “My advice would be to dive deeper into yourself. Cut the distractions that you so easily create in your life, whether it be work, relationships, kids, family, family, everyone else but you. I know so many people that focus on everything and everyone else but themselves.” This powerful statement underscores the critical need to prioritize your own well-being.

Key aspects of self-compassion and intentionality include:

  • Accepting that “it’s okay to not be okay”: This is a crucial first step. Acknowledging your struggles without judgment opens the door to healing. As Asia advises, “Be okay with the fact that you’re not okay. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s human to not be able to withstand so much trauma. That’s all right. What’s not okay, is ignoring it like it’s not there. Like it didn’t happen, like it didn’t affect you.”
  • Prioritizing self-care: This involves consciously dedicating time and energy to activities that nourish your mental, emotional, and physical health. It’s about setting boundaries, engaging in stress-reducing practices, and ensuring adequate rest.
  • Daily intentionality: Recovery is not something that just happens; it’s a choice made daily. This means actively engaging in practices that support your well-being, even when it feels difficult. “I have to be aware about it every day. I have to be intentional about my recovery. I have to be intentional about my mental health,” Asia emphasizes.
  • Shifting your identity: Recovery is about recognizing that your struggles do not define you. While you may have experienced depression, anxiety, or addiction, you are not those conditions. “Your depression is not something that should be a part of your identity. Your depression should not rule over your happiness and your joy. What has to be the winner is you genuinely being okay with yourself, with your life, and doing whatever it takes to be healthy, mentally, physically, emotionally,” Asia powerfully states. This reframe allows you to step into a more empowered and authentic version of yourself.
  • Don’t delay seeking help: For those on the fence about getting help, Asia’s message is clear: “Get off the fence because this is your life and we don’t have a lot of time. Every single day is so precious that I truly believe that every human being deserves to genuinely be happy, genuinely not have to be fighting demons daily.”

Ultimately, the journey of recovery is a profound act of self-love and courage. It demands honesty, perseverance, and a willingness to confront discomfort. However, the peace, purpose, and joy that await on the other side are immeasurable. By embracing self-education, pursuing consistent therapeutic support, understanding recovery as an ongoing process, and committing to daily self-compassion and intentionality, you too can unmask your path to lasting peace and well-being.

A Brighter Tomorrow, Today

Asia’s recovery journey is a powerful testament to the human capacity for healing and transformation. Her story underscores that while life may present immense challenges, it is within our power to cultivate a life of purpose, peace, and genuine happiness. By taking the courageous steps of self-education, seeking appropriate professional help, embracing the ongoing nature of recovery, and committing to daily self-compassion and intentionality, anyone can embark on their own path toward a brighter tomorrow. Remember, your journey is unique, but the promise of a more fulfilling life is a universal truth worth fighting for.

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Spot the Signs, Save a Life: 11 Lessons from a Teacher Who Helped Stop a Suicide

This article summarizes a deeply moving conversation from the Giving Voice to Depression podcast, hosted by Terry McGuire. In Episode 364, we meet Chloe, a courageous young woman whose life was dramatically altered—and ultimately saved—by a teacher who noticed she was struggling and dared to speak up. Through Chloe’s lived experience, we explore the importance of emotional support, early intervention, and the quiet power of paying attention.

1. Depression Can Start Early—and Be Invisible

Chloe first began experiencing symptoms of depression at age 11. She describes her younger self as outgoing and high-achieving, yet internally consumed by sadness and suicidal thoughts. Like many young people, Chloe assumed her pain was just part of growing up.

As Chloe explained:

I thought that everyone my age was feeling the same way that I was… I never really spoke about it because I guess it was such a taboo subject for me growing up.

She masked her distress with humor and popularity, performing well in athletics and maintaining a full social life. But beneath the surface, she was silently suffering. Her experience reminds us that depression doesn’t always look like sadness from the outside.

2. Emotional Bottling Can Lead to Explosive Crisis

For years, Chloe internalized her pain. She was never taught how to express or manage difficult emotions. This emotional bottling came to a head at age 16 after a disappointing soccer performance.

As Chloe recalled:

I remember running to the locker room and punching a wall and just not being able to breathe… I think that was the first time I’d ever had a panic attack before.

Unfortunately, it also marked the beginning of a steep downward spiral. As the pressure to succeed mounted, her mental health deteriorated.

3. The First Attempt: What Chloe Needed Was Understanding

Four months after her panic attack, Chloe attempted to take her own life. Her memories of that day include the grayscale world she saw and the overwhelming emotional pain she wanted to escape—not because she didn’t love others, but because she felt hopeless.

As Chloe described:

I remember looking in the mirror… and I just said, what’s the point in living when I’m not even enjoying being alive?

Sadly, the reactions she received initially were more judgmental than supportive.

Chloe shared:

I remembered [the nurse] shook her head at me and she said like why would you do that to yourself and why would you do it to your family.

She also recounted her mother’s initial response with heartbreak.

Chloe added:

Again she was like how could you do this to me… And all I really needed to hear was that it was going to be okay.

4. Suicide Is Not a Desire to Die—It’s a Desire for the Pain to End

One of the most powerful takeaways from Chloe’s story is that suicidal ideation often stems from a desperate need to escape relentless emotional pain, not a true wish to die.

As Chloe candidly put it:

I think that was the only thought that was going through my head. I just want the pain to end.

Depression convinces people that the pain is permanent and relief is impossible. Chloe’s story challenges that illusion and offers hope to anyone who feels trapped.

5. Asking Directly Can Save a Life

After Chloe’s hospitalization, her pain continued. Around Christmas that same year, she made a second plan to end her life. But this time, someone stepped in.

Chloe recalled the moment her PE teacher intervened:

He pulled me into a classroom and said to me I know exactly what you’ve got planned and I’m not going to let you do it. You’ve got so much to live for. You’ve so much to give to this world.

This moment proved pivotal. The teacher not only noticed the warning signs but used direct and honest language.

As Chloe emphasized:

No one ever asked me before if I had thoughts of suicide… I think the reason that people didn’t ask me that question was because they were scared of the answer themselves.

6. Noticing Changes Can Be a Lifeline

Chloe’s teacher was able to intervene because he noticed behavioral changes:

  • She was dressing differently
  • She was withdrawing from her regular friend group
  • She had lost interest in sports

These may seem like small shifts, but they can be significant red flags.

As Terry eloquently put it:

Most likely is that they’re going to tell you they’re fine. Worst case scenario is probably, “Mind your own business.”

But initiating the conversation matters. It shows someone that they are being seen, that they matter, and that someone cares.

7. Thoughtful Conversations Matter More Than Perfect Words

Many people worry they’ll say the wrong thing. But what Chloe needed most wasn’t a perfect script—it was care and presence.

As Chloe reflected:

He made me realize that people do care and people do want me in this world… my thoughts aren’t necessarily facts.

Even small gestures of concern can counteract depression’s message that you’re alone and unloved.

8. Finding Purpose Helps Anchor Recovery

After surviving her suicide attempts, Chloe began to find new meaning. She embarked on a 220-mile walk across England to raise money for mental health awareness.

Chloe shared what changed:

I didn’t really feel like I had purpose before… Then all of a sudden I had a purpose and I had reason to get up every morning.

Having a purpose—however small—is one of the strongest protective factors against depression and suicide.

9. Life After Crisis Can Be Brighter Than You Imagined

Chloe eventually moved to the U.S. to fulfill her childhood dream of playing soccer on scholarship. While she wasn’t fully healed when she arrived, the journey of self-reflection and growth helped her transform.

As Chloe explained:

I see the world in color again now… I love being alive and I appreciate every single small thing.

Her story proves that even the darkest realities can change. The pain isn’t forever. With the right support, healing is possible.

10. Healing Becomes Powerful When It Comes Full Circle

Today, Chloe is a coach—guiding and supporting young athletes, just as her teacher once supported her.

Chloe described her new role:

My main role on the coaching staff right now is to be someone who’s there for the players mentally and emotionally… I feel like the players know that if they need something or they need to talk to someone… I’m the person to come and speak to.

In this role, she’s closing the healing loop and offering others the same lifeline that once saved her.

Chloe added:

I want to make sure that those players… know that suicide is never the way out and that they always have someone to talk to.

11. Everyone Can Make a Difference—Including You

As the episode concludes, Terry and Carly reflect on how many types of school staff—not just teachers—can play a vital role.

As Carly pointed out:

Young people interact with a ton of adults in any given day. And it’s really just important that one or more of those adults is sort of checking on them out of the corner of their eye.

It’s not just adults, either. Chloe had this realization as a teenager:

Chloe recalled:

There are so many people in this room who are going through something right now that is unimaginable and I have no idea about it… I need to do something to turn this around, not only for myself, but for the people around me.

As Carly explained about today’s youth:

We are each other’s emotional support right now… We are getting each other through the day.

Everyone—regardless of role or training—can be a caring adult or peer who notices, steps in, and helps save a life.

Final Thoughts: The Healing Power of Being Seen

Chloe’s story is a testament to how even one caring conversation can be life-changing. A high school teacher who dared to ask a direct question gave her not only safety, but a sense of worth, hope, and renewed purpose.

Many of us may not consider ourselves mental health professionals. We may not have the perfect words, the right training, or all the answers. But we don’t need to. What we do need is to care enough to notice, brave enough to speak up, and committed enough to listen with compassion.

As Chloe offered this encouragement:

All you have to do is get through the day and survive the day. And then you can start again tomorrow.

Whether you’re a teacher, a coach, a friend, a parent—or just someone in another person’s orbit—you have the ability to make a life-affirming difference. Chloe’s story teaches us that showing up, saying something, and staying connected is sometimes all it takes to redirect someone from despair toward healing.

Key Takeaways

To help you apply the lessons from Chloe’s story, here are some essential points to remember:

Pay attention online too: Today’s warning signs may show up on social media before they show up in person.

Depression can be invisible: High-achieving and happy-looking people may still be struggling.

Trust your gut: If you notice a change in someone, speak up. It’s always better to say something than nothing.

Ask directly about suicide: The most helpful question is also the most uncomfortable. Don’t dance around it.

Listen without judgment: If someone confides in you, meet them with empathy—not fear, shame, or blame.

Stay present: You don’t need to fix someone. Sometimes your consistent presence is enough.

Purpose helps heal: Small goals, acts of service, and meaning-making activities can shift a person’s outlook.

Recovery is not linear: People may revisit difficult emotions, but from new, more resilient vantage points.

Circle it forward: If someone once helped you, consider becoming that person for someone else.

Everyone has a role: Cafeteria staff, bus drivers, and classmates can all be lifesavers.

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Gabbie Egan’s Journey Through Bipolar Disorder and Alcohol and Marijuana Addiction Recovery

Gabbie Egan’s story is a powerful and candid exploration of the interconnectedness of mental health and substance use. Her journey, marked by early exposure to drugs and alcohol, a teenage pregnancy, and an eventual diagnosis of bipolar I disorder, offers a deeply personal insight into the complexities of recovery. Gabbie’s unflinching honesty about her struggles and triumphs serves as a beacon of hope, demonstrating that even through multiple setbacks, sustained effort can lead to profound healing and self-acceptance.

The Early Seeds of Struggle: Childhood and Adolescent Experiences

Gabbie’s introduction to substance use began at a remarkably young age, rooted in a combination of environmental factors and personal vulnerabilities. Growing up in a part of North Carolina with limited recreational outlets, drug and alcohol use became a prevalent coping mechanism among her peers. “I’m from a part of North Carolina where it’s like there’s nothing to do,” Gabbie recounts, “And so the only thing that people are really doing to keep themselves occupied is like getting messed up.”

Her home environment, while loving, also contributed to a sense of unmonitored freedom. With parents deeply engrossed in their careers, Gabbie, an only child, was often left to her “own devices.” This lack of direct parental supervision, combined with a pre-existing sadness, created fertile ground for experimentation. She began with cough medicine in sixth grade, quickly escalating to marijuana and prescription pills like Vicodin by the age of 11 or 12. This early exposure to various substances at such a formative age significantly shaped her developing brain and laid the groundwork for future struggles.

Beyond the external influences, Gabbie also grappled with internal battles. She describes herself as “a very sad kid” who experienced bullying and felt she never truly fit in. Her expulsion from Christian school in sixth grade after piercing her belly button further isolated her and plunged her into an environment where she was “in a pretty low place ever since I was a child.” Her mother, a loving but misguided figure, dismissed her emotional struggles, attributing them to a lack of gratitude or a “made-up” mental illness. This invalidation of her feelings compounded Gabbie’s internal turmoil and prevented her from seeking the help she desperately needed. As Gabbie poignantly shares, “My mom doesn’t believe in mental illness. And so that’s tough because then, yeah.”

The Unveiling of Bipolar Disorder: A Diagnosis and a Family Legacy

The first hint of Gabbie’s underlying mental health condition emerged at 16, following a severe alcohol-related incident. After blacking out and requiring a stomach pump, she was court-ordered to see a mental health specialist. It was during this session that a therapist suggested she might have bipolar I disorder. The therapist explained that bipolar I is characterized by “high highs of extreme mania and then extremely low lows that last and extended like a certain amount of time.” This explanation deeply resonated with Gabbie, as it accurately described her volatile emotional landscape. “I’m either extremely low, like, you know, on the verge of like wanting to literally end my life or, um, you know, extremely high thinking, I am Jesus, you know?” she candidly admits.

Despite this crucial insight, her mother’s continued denial of mental illness led Gabbie to dismiss the diagnosis at the time. “My mom’s like, this is just how they get you in the system. They’re trying to medicate you,” Gabbie recalls. This dismissal, coupled with a lack of proper follow-up, meant that Gabbie continued to navigate her life unmedicated and without professional support for her burgeoning mental health challenges.

Years later, a more definitive diagnosis of bipolar I disorder would come after another significant incident in Las Vegas. During what she believes was a manic episode, Gabbie experienced a blackout and woke up in jail in a straightjacket, unable to recall the events that led her there. This terrifying experience, combined with the intense public scrutiny and hate she received online, propelled her to seek help on her own terms. It was through this process that she received an official diagnosis and began to truly understand the nature of her condition.

This second, undeniable encounter with her diagnosis allowed her to confront the reality of her mental health, a reality her grandmother had hinted at, revealing a family history of untreated mental illness. “I had went to my grandmother, who I’m really close with, and I had told her and she said, I think that that’s what my mom had,” Gabbie shares, adding, “My grandmother’s mom actually ended up jumping off of a bridge or off of a building in France when she was growing up and committed suicide because she had so many untreated mental health conditions.” This generational understanding provided a crucial piece of the puzzle, helping Gabbie contextualize her own struggles and recognize that her experiences were not merely “crazy” but rooted in a legitimate medical condition.

Explore bipolar disorder treatment options.

The Intertwined Paths of Substance Use and Mental Health

Gabbie’s narrative vividly illustrates the intricate relationship between substance use and mental health. Her early experimentation with drugs and alcohol served as a form of self-medication for her untreated depression and the chaotic emotional swings of undiagnosed bipolar disorder. The substances provided a temporary escape from the pain, isolation, and overwhelming feelings she couldn’t articulate or understand.

Her pregnancy at 13, giving birth just before turning 14, further intensified her struggles. As a teen mom, Gabbie faced immense pressure and isolation. She juggled high school, childcare, and the emotional burden of being an outcast among her peers. While she excelled as a mother to her son, other aspects of her life crumbled. “Everything else in my life would be completely falling apart. And every aspect. I was a horrible friend. I was a horrible partner. I was a horrible daughter to my parents. Just ’cause I was just like so just like in the trenches, but I was a great mom to my son,” she reflects.

During periods when her son was with his grandparents, Gabbie would resort to heavy drinking, often to the point of blacking out. These episodes were a desperate attempt to cope with the immense emotional distress and the deep void she felt. The incident at 16, where she was found unconscious and her stomach pumped, was a direct consequence of this self-destructive pattern.

Even joining the military at 17, an attempt to “fix” herself, didn’t provide the escape she hoped for. “Substance abuse just followed me into the military,” she admits. Her ability to function, even at the height of her addiction, is a testament to the high-functioning nature often seen in individuals with underlying mental health conditions. She graduated high school a year early, maintaining her academic responsibilities while engaging in significant substance abuse. “People don’t think that you can be functioning, but you can, you can do everything that you’re supposed to be doing and you can show up in every single way,” Gabbie emphasizes, recounting how she would complete school papers while “tripping balls” on acid. This period underscores the dangerous dance between her mental health challenges and her substance use, where each exacerbated the other, creating a vicious cycle.

Navigating Mania and Depression: The Bipolar Experience

Gabbie’s account of living with bipolar I disorder provides a raw and honest glimpse into the extremes of the condition. She describes her manic episodes as periods of intense energy and productivity, often accompanied by a feeling of invincibility. “I have all these ideas and I’m just like, I can stay up for days straight working on a project, a new project, a new business idea, a new something,” she explains. However, these highs are often accompanied by erratic and risky behaviors, including her two arrests, which she believes occurred during manic states. “The things that I have gotten myself into when I feel like I’m the hottest shit. I mean, I’ve gone to jail two times and I, I do believe that both of the times that I went to jail, I was like in a manic episode,” she reveals. During these manic phases, sleep becomes minimal or nonexistent, and she often reaches a state of “blackout” where she has no recollection of her actions.

The crash that follows these manic highs is equally debilitating. Gabbie describes it as a complete physical and emotional collapse, leaving her “completely debilitated.” The overwhelming feeling of paralysis, the inability to move forward with the projects started during mania, is a common experience for individuals with bipolar disorder. “It’s like now I’m halfway through all these projects and I have no energy for anything anymore, and I can’t do anything. And I just feel stuck,” she articulates, likening it to ADHD paralysis where the sheer volume of tasks leads to an inability to start any of them.

Gabbie’s journey with medication also highlights the complexities of treatment for bipolar disorder. While acknowledging that medication is beneficial for many, she shares her personal struggles with various prescriptions like Seroquel and Abilify. These medications, while addressing some symptoms, often left her feeling “like I wasn’t even human anymore,” turning her into a “zombie” or making her feel “boring.” This experience underscores the importance of individualized treatment plans and the ongoing search for the right balance between managing symptoms and maintaining a sense of self.

The Path to Recovery: Resilience, Acceptance, and Self-Worth

Despite the numerous setbacks and deep troughs of despair, Gabbie’s story is ultimately one of remarkable resilience and a profound journey toward self-acceptance. Her early and repeated failures in attempts at sobriety ultimately paved the way for a lasting recovery. “It doesn’t matter how many times you’re trying to recover, as long as you’re putting in the effort one day, it will stick if you really want it,” she advises, a testament to her own experience. She has learned to reframe failures not as endpoints, but as integral parts of her process, emphasizing that “you can fail a million times and still try again.”

Gabbie’s recovery extends beyond sobriety; it encompasses a deeper understanding and management of her bipolar disorder. She has learned to recognize the onset of her manic and depressive episodes, developing coping mechanisms to navigate them. This self-awareness allows her to mitigate the impact of the extreme highs and lows, recognizing when she needs to slow down or when she needs to push through the paralysis of depression by taking small, actionable steps.

Crucially, Gabbie has learned to distinguish between understanding her diagnosis and using it as an excuse for harmful behavior. While acknowledging that bipolar disorder explains certain aspects of her actions, she asserts, “it doesn’t excuse all my actions.” This mature perspective allows her to take accountability for her behavior while still working to manage her condition. She recognizes that the goal is not to eliminate the “crazy” but to “learn to manage that rather than make excuses for that.”

Today, Gabbie is a recovery advocate who openly shares her story, creating a space for others to find solace and understanding. She is a testament to the power of authentic vulnerability, demonstrating that healing is not about becoming a perfect version of oneself, but about embracing all facets of one’s experience. Her journey of “coming undone and rebuild[ing], to tell the truth out loud, and to never let go of your own becoming” serves as a powerful inspiration for anyone navigating the complexities of mental health and addiction recovery. Her story emphasizes that true recovery is a continuous process of learning, adapting, and ultimately, loving the person you are becoming, flaws and all.

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Depression Test: Free & No Personal Information Required

Are you feeling down, hopeless, or just not yourself? It can be tough to know when it’s time to seek help. This simple test is a starting point to help you understand if you might be experiencing symptoms of depression. It’s free, requires no sign-up, and can give you some initial insights.

Important Note: This test is not a diagnostic tool. It’s designed for informational purposes only and does not replace the expertise of a mental health professional. If you’re concerned about your mental health, it’s crucial to consult with a qualified healthcare provider.

Interrupting Your Results

  • If you answered “Yes” to two or more questions: This suggests that you may be experiencing mental health conditions consistent with depression. It’s strongly recommended that you consider reaching out for support. This test is not a substitute for professional help, so scheduling an appointment with a health care professional, mental health professional, or healthcare provider is an important next step.
  • If you answered “Yes” to question #9 (suicidal thoughts): This requires immediate attention. Please call or text the Crisis Lifeline at 988 for immediate help. You can also seek help from local emergency services. Suicide prevention is critical, and there are people who want to support you.

Disclaimer: This depression test is for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care professional with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or health problems. The questions are inspired by evidence-based screening tools like the PHQ-9 (patient health questionnaire), developed by Kroenke and Pfizer, and the Beck Depression Inventory, but this specific test is a simplified version.

Understanding Depression: More Than Just Feeling Sad

Clinical depression is a serious mental health condition that affects millions of people. It’s different from temporary sadness or feeling “blue.” It’s a persistent problem that can significantly impact your daily life.

Common Symptoms of Depression (Beyond the Test):

  • Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” mood
  • Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism
  • Irritability
  • Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness
  • Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities
  • Decreased energy or fatigue
  • Changes in appetite or weight
  • Changes in sleep patterns (insomnia or oversleeping)
  • Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions
  • Physical aches or pains that have no clear cause
  • Thoughts of death or suicide (suicidal thoughts)
  • For women, postpartum depression is a concern after giving birth.

Impact on Well-being: Depression can affect every aspect of your life, including your relationships, work, school, and overall well-being. It can also contribute to physical health problems.

When to Seek Professional Help

If you’re experiencing several symptoms of depression that are persistent and interfering with your daily life, it’s time to seek professional help.

Who to See:

  • Mental health professional: This includes therapists, counselors, psychologists, and psychiatry professionals.
  • Your primary medical professional or healthcare provider: They can assess your symptoms and refer you to a specialist.

What to Expect During a Depression Screening: A depression screening typically involves a discussion of your symptoms, medical history, and sometimes the use of standardized screening tools like the PHQ-9.

Importance of Early Intervention: Seeking help early can improve outcomes and reduce the stigma associated with mental health care.

Treatment and Support Options

Depression is treatable. There are many effective options available.

  • Therapy (Psychotherapy/Counseling): This can include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and other approaches.
  • Medication (Antidepressants): These medications can help regulate mood and are prescribed by a doctor.
  • Lifestyle Adjustments: Exercise, a healthy diet, and good sleep hygiene can significantly improve your mood.
  • Support Systems: Connecting with support groups (like those offered by NAMI), family members, friends, and caregiver support can provide invaluable help.

Crisis Resources: If you are in crisis, please call or text the Crisis Lifeline at 988.

Remember, recovery is possible. Prioritizing self-care and ongoing wellness is essential for maintaining good mental health.

Resources and Next Steps

FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions)

Q: Is this test a diagnosis?
A: No, it’s a screening tool to help you understand if you should seek further evaluation.

Q: Do I need to sign up to take the test?
A: No, it’s free and no sign-up required.

Q: What if I don’t have health insurance for mental health care?
A: Many community clinics and public health initiatives offer services on a sliding scale fee basis.

Q: Can depression be cured?
A: While there may not be a “cure,” depression is highly treatable, and symptoms can be managed effectively.

Q: What is the PHQ-9?
A: It’s a common patient health questionnaire used for depression screening.
Each question is scored on a scale from 0 to 3:

0 = Not at all
1 = Several days
2 = More than half the days
3 = Nearly every day

Respondents are asked:
“Over the last two weeks, how often have you been bothered by any of the following problems?”

  1. Little interest or pleasure in doing things
  2. Feeling down, depressed, or hopeless
  3. Trouble falling or staying asleep, or sleeping too much
  4. Feeling tired or having little energy
  5. Poor appetite or overeating
  6. Feeling bad about yourself—or that you are a failure or have let yourself or your family down
  7. Trouble concentrating on things, such as reading the newspaper or watching television
  8. Moving or speaking so slowly that other people could have noticed
    —or the opposite—being so fidgety or restless that you have been moving around a lot more than usual
  9. Thoughts that you would be better off dead or of hurting yourself in some way

Score Range: 0 to 27

Severity Levels:

  • 0–4: Minimal or none
  • 5–9: Mild
  • 10–14: Moderate
  • 15–19: Moderately severe
  • 20–27: Severe

A score of 10 or more is commonly used as a threshold for identifying possible major depression, but clinical follow-up is always necessary.

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Did Trump Cut the Suicide Hotline? What’s Happening With 988

When you’re in your darkest moment, the last thing you should have to worry about is whether help will be there when you call. Yet recent changes to funding for the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline have left many wondering if this life-saving resource still be there when people need it most.

The short answer is yes: 988 is still active and available 24/7. But the longer story involves budget cuts that could affect how quickly you get help and what kind of support is available, especially for communities that already face higher needs—and—barriers to mental health care.

Infographic explaining the 988 Crisis Lifeline—call, text, or chat 988 for free, confidential support 24/7. Designed for those experiencing suicidal thoughts, anxiety, substance use issues, trauma, or loneliness. Includes contact options and highlights messages of hope and help.

What Is the 988 Lifeline?

The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline launched in 2022 as a game-changer for mental health support in the U.S. Instead of remembering a long phone number, anyone in crisis can simply dial 988 to reach trained counselors who provide immediate support and connect people to local resources.

The lifeline is managed by SAMHSA (the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) under the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). It serves everyone, but it has specialized services for groups at higher risk, including LGBTQ+ youth and veterans. 

Robert Gebbia, CEO of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention explains:

Suicide remains a serious public health concern in the U.S.,1 and we know from research that certain groups have higher risk, including veterans and LGBTQ+ youth. This is why these groups have dedicated services within the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, where uniquely trained counselors help prevent suicide in these disproportionately impacted populations.

Infographic showing key statistics about the 988 Crisis Lifeline, including 13,700 daily contacts, 11% of calls and 15% of texts going unanswered, a 22.7% usage increase since launch, and that less than half of U.S. states provide stable funding for 988 services.

What’s Changed With Funding

In early 2025, a leaked budget proposal2 draft revealed troubling news: the federal government has proposed to eliminate all funding for the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline’s LGBTQ+ Youth Specialized Services. The proposed cuts would take effect October 1, 2025.

The news comes at a time when suicide rates among LGBTQ+ youth are a clear concern: The Trevor Project estimates that more than 1.8 million LGBTQ+ young people (ages 13-24) seriously consider suicide3 each year in the U.S., and at least one person attempts suicide every 45 seconds.

While the lifeline itself remains operational, defunding affects the system’s ability to meet increasing demand. This doesn’t mean 988 is shutting down, but it does mean fewer resources for hiring staff, training specialized counselors, and expanding outreach programs.

Infographic timeline showing the history and challenges of the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, from the launch of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline in 2005 to the official rollout of 988 in 2022, highlighting increased call volume, federal funding boosts, and ongoing financial support gaps.

Who Gets Hit Hardest

Unfortunately, funding cuts rarely affect everyone equally. According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, “Certain populations uniquely at risk continue to be underrepresented in suicide research and face disproportionate inequities in accessing the care,4 support, and services needed to improve mental health and prevent suicide.” 

The communities most likely to feel the impact include:

  • BIPOC communities who already face barriers to accessing culturally competent mental health care 
  • LGBTQ+ communities, especially youth, who have significantly higher rates of suicidal thoughts 
  • Rural residents who have limited access to mental health resources to begin with 
  • People without insurance who rely heavily on free crisis services

How do recent cuts to the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline affect access to care, especially in underserved or marginalized communities? What are the potential long-term implications?

The Suicide & Crisis Lifeline helps reduce suicide, mental health hospitalizations, and reduces healthcare costs overall because people are less likely to turn to higher levels of care that are more expensive. For marginalized communities, it provides access to someone who can listen and provide support as well as resources they may not have access to otherwise, which saves lives. The long-term implications of the recent cuts include staffing shortages, which lead to longer response times, diminishing the effectiveness of the Lifeline during crises. Without adequate funding, more individuals in crisis may end up in emergency rooms or encounter law enforcement—situations that the 988 Lifeline aims to prevent. Underserved communities may experience greater barriers to accessing mental health support, exacerbating existing inequalities and increasing health disparities. Inconsistent funding and availability can lead the public to feel less trusting of mental health resources, potentially discouraging individuals from seeking help.


– Jack Bartel, PsyD | The Evergreen Initiative

Real-World Impact: What This Means for You

These funding reductions create staffing shortages, which lead to longer response times and reduce how effectively the Lifeline can help during crises.

Here’s what you might experience:

  • Longer wait times when calling for help
  • Fewer culturally competent counselors available
  • Reduced outreach programs in underserved communities
  • Less specialized support for high-risk groups

The broader concern is that without adequate mental health crisis support, more people may end up in emergency rooms or encounters with law enforcement—exactly the situations 988 was designed to prevent.

Why This Matters Beyond Individual Calls

The 988 lifeline doesn’t just save lives in the moment. It reduces overall healthcare costs by preventing more expensive interventions like psychiatric hospitalizations. For marginalized communities especially, it provides access to support and resources that might otherwise be unavailable.

Other Crisis Resources Still Available

While concerns about national suicide prevention lifeline funding are serious, it’s important to know that other crisis support options are still available. If you can’t get through to 988 or need specialized support, these resources can help:

  • National Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 for free, confidential support 24/7. This service operates independently of 988 and connects you with trained crisis counselors via text message.
  • The Trevor Project: Provides crisis support specifically for LGBTQ+ youth through phone (1-866-488-7386), text (START to 678-678), and online chat. Available 24/7 with counselors trained in LGBTQ+ issues.
  • Veterans Crisis Line: Call 988 and press 1, text 838255, or chat online. This specialized service for veterans, service members, and their families has dedicated funding and staff.
  • Crisis Text Line en Español: Text HOLA to 741741 for Spanish-language crisis support. Many local crisis centers also offer bilingual services.

Many communities also have local crisis hotlines, mobile crisis teams, and walk-in crisis centers. Your local 211 service (dial 2-1-1) can help you find nearby mental health resources and crisis support options.

The Advocacy Response

Mental health advocates nationwide are actively responding to the threat of funding cuts to the national suicide hotline. Leading organizations have issued press releases and public statements urging Congress and the White House to restore and expand funding, emphasizing that access to crisis services is a matter of life and death for vulnerable communities.

Advocates stress that mental health is a bipartisan issue. “Suicide prevention is about risk, not identity,”5 says Jaymes Black, CEO of The Trevor Project. But Black also reminds affected communities that not all hope is lost:

I want to be clear to all LGBTQ+ young people: This news, while upsetting, is not final. And regardless of federal funding shifts, The Trevor Project remains available 24/7 for anyone who needs us, just as we always have.6

What You Can Do

If you’re concerned about these changes, here are ways to help:

  • Contact your elected officials to express support for 988 funding
  • Support nonprofit organizations working on mental health advocacy
  • Share accurate information about available resources in your community
  • Learn the warning signs of suicide and how to help someone in crisis

Moving Forward

For now, 988 remains available around the clock for anyone in crisis. The system’s long-term capacity, however, depends on sustained and equitable investment from federal and state governments.

If you or someone you love is struggling, remember that help is still available. Aside from crisis support, you can also search for treatment centers that specialize in treating suicidal thoughts and behaviors for comprehensive care. 

Make a safety plan, connect with support, and remember—your story isn’t over yet.

FAQs

Q: Did Trump administration budget cuts affect the suicide hotline services? 

A: Funding reductions were proposed in early 20257 as part of broader budget constraints from the Office of Management and Budget during the current administration. While the 988 hotline remains operational, the cuts will affect crucial services for LGBTQ+ youth as well as affect expansion and capacity-building.

Q: Did Trump’s suicide helpline cuts push Canada to step in for Americans? 

A: There’s no evidence that Canada has stepped in8 to provide crisis services for Americans due to these funding changes. This false claim stems from a viral social media post. The 988 lifeline continues to operate in the United States, though with reduced capacity.

Q: Did President Trump make any changes to the national suicide prevention hotline? 

A: The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline itself wasn’t changed or eliminated. However, federal budget for expanding the program were proposed in early 2025, which will affect the system’s ability to meet increasing demand.

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Recovery After Depression’s Darkness: 11 Hopeful Reminders from Someone Who Made It Through

This article is a longform summary of a powerful episode of the Giving Voice to Depression podcast, hosted by Terry McGuire. In this conversation, guest Cara McErlain shares what it’s like to live with long-term depression, the profound lessons she’s learned through therapy, and why the fleeting moments of happiness after darkness are so deeply meaningful. With insight, warmth, and hard-won wisdom, Cara offers hope for anyone struggling to hold on in their darkest moments.

The podcast continues its mission to reduce stigma and normalize conversations about mental health by amplifying the voices of those who live with these experiences every day. This particular episode resonates not just because of the pain described, but because of the unmistakable humanity, humor, and insight Cara brings to her recovery journey. Whether you live with depression yourself or love someone who does, this episode offers vital reminders that healing is possible and that no one is ever truly alone in their struggle.

1. Depression Isn’t Just Sadness — It’s a Whole-Body Experience

Many people associate depression with sadness, but as Cara explains, it can show up in many ways:

  • A deep numbness or emotional “nothingness”
  • A sinking feeling in your stomach
  • Grayness tinting your view of life
  • Dread of the day ahead

As Cara described:

You don’t think you’re ever going to feel the happiness again… your surroundings are almost like tinted as gray.

Cara emphasized that the experience of depression is not simply about feeling blue; it can completely consume your thoughts, energy, and sense of self.

2. It’s Easy to Mistake Depression for Normalcy

Cara began experiencing symptoms of depression as a teenager. But like many, she didn’t recognize it at the time:

  • Emotional numbness felt like her natural state
  • She thought everyone lived without joy or hope
  • She didn’t grow up surrounded by happiness, so sadness felt normal

As Cara reflected:

I thought that’s how we lived, really.

When we grow up in emotionally difficult environments, it’s hard to realize our suffering isn’t normal. Naming depression is the first step to healing.

3. Depression Can Cloud Your Will to Live

Cara bravely opened up about experiencing suicidal thoughts and attempts. This wasn’t about wanting attention — it was a desperate attempt to escape unrelenting pain:

  • Depression told her life wasn’t worth living
  • The darkness felt endless and absolute
  • These thoughts went unspoken for years

As Cara candidly shared:

There were times where I just didn’t want to be here… that thought was there for quite some time.

Her story reinforces the urgency of talking openly about suicidal ideation and the critical importance of early intervention.

4. Therapy Can Get Worse Before It Gets Better

Cara says starting therapy again in 2021 was the best thing she ever did — but it wasn’t easy:

  • Unpacking trauma made her feel worse at first
  • Naming her past experiences as trauma was painful but validating
  • Therapy involved facing uncomfortable truths

As Cara explained:

It made me feel worse in a sense. But I had to do this… It was the first time where we validated the word trauma.

Healing doesn’t follow a straight line. Sometimes it means making a bigger mess before putting things back together.

5. Validation Is a Critical Part of Recovery

One of Cara’s most profound turning points was when her therapist helped her realize that what she experienced was trauma:

  • She had minimized her pain for years
  • Being told she didn’t deserve what happened to her helped shift her self-perception
  • She began to appreciate how her struggles shaped her growth

As Cara noted:

I actually didn’t deserve that… There’s a sense of paying gratitude to my difficulties because of how it’s made me grow.

This kind of validation can break the shame cycle that keeps so many stuck.

6. Rock Bottom Isn’t Always the End

Cara describes a night in 2021 when she broke down crying while driving. She felt hopeless. Lost. But somehow, she reached out:

  • She Googled nearby counselors and sent an email
  • She went to her first session and spoke her truth
  • Her therapist told her, “You’re on to something amazing here”

As Cara recalled:

I was so proud of myself that session. It was the wee bit of light I needed in a very, very dark time.

You don’t have to be fully ready to heal to take the first step. Sometimes, survival is enough.

7. Recovery Is Never Linear

Cara’s story highlights the unpredictable nature of mental health recovery:

  • One week she felt amazing
  • The next, she sobbed uncontrollably in therapy
  • She kept going anyway

As Cara shared:

It just shows the bumpiness of it… knowing that in the really dark times, you felt happiness the week before.

Recovery isn’t a straight line. It’s a winding road filled with both setbacks and breakthroughs.

8. Light Can Appear in Small, Beautiful Moments

Cara finds hope in what she calls “snippets of happiness”:

  • Watching strangers hug
  • Drinking coffee without racing thoughts
  • Noticing 10 seconds of contentment

As Cara described:

I was actually content there for 10 seconds. I never thought I would actually be able to just enjoy coffee.

These glimpses remind us that healing is not only possible, but already happening.

9. Document the Good Days

To help her remember that light exists, Cara journals on good days:

  • She writes about moments of joy
  • She snaps pictures of coffee or her dog
  • She stores proof of happiness for future dark days

As Cara advised:

Let’s also journal whenever we’re feeling good… It’ll remind us that it’s possible.

In moments of hopelessness, that proof can be a lifeline.

10. Peer Support and Reassurance Carry Special Weight

Hearing hope from someone who’s been hopeless can be transformative:

  • Cara reminds us not to believe everything depression tells us
  • She urges people to hold on until tomorrow, not forever
  • She emphasizes taking tiny steps, not big leaps

As Cara encouraged:

You are a human being and you deserve to live and you deserve to live a happy life.

That message lands differently when it comes from someone who’s lived the truth of it.

11. Don’t Forecast Misery Forever — Focus on the Present

Dr. Anita Sanz offers a powerful reminder:

  • Depression often convinces us the future holds only pain
  • But we can survive the present
  • Like a flu or a cold, this will pass

As Dr. Anita Sanz explained:

Force yourself… as hard as it is, to stay in the present moment when the present moment is awful.

Staying present doesn’t mean pretending things are fine. It means trusting that this too shall pass.

Final Thoughts: Choosing Hope, Even When It’s Hard

Cara’s story serves as a vivid reminder that light often follows darkness — not in fairy-tale ways, but in deeply real and often subtle ones. Her lived experience affirms something essential: even in our lowest moments, even when we feel broken or empty, we still hold the power to make the smallest of choices — to hold on, to speak up, to reach out. And those choices can lead us back to the light.

As Terry McGuire beautifully reflected:

We as humans — not even just humans with depression — tend to find what we’re looking for. So if we look for reasons and ways that our value in the world is affirmed, we can usually find something.

We’re not guaranteed a life free of struggle, but we can create one rich with meaning, connection, and resilience. We can build it one small step, one deep breath, one whispered reminder at a time: hold on. Light is possible.

Moments of hope may feel fleeting at first, but with time and attention, they can multiply. They may begin as brief flashes — a sip of coffee savored, a comforting hug, a moment of peace on a quiet walk — but those flashes matter. They are proof. And they are the very building blocks of recovery. For anyone in darkness right now, take heart in knowing that you do not have to wait for a full cure or transformation to start feeling better. You only have to start by holding on — until tomorrow, until the next moment of light, and then the next.

Key Takeaways

Here are a few essential lessons from Cara’s story to carry with you or share with someone in need:

  • Depression is more than sadness — it impacts every part of our being.
  • Validation matters — especially when it comes from others or from within.
  • Therapy can feel worse before it feels better — but it’s worth it.
  • Recovery is not linear — ups and downs are part of the process.
  • Small moments of joy are powerful — even 10 seconds of peace counts.
  • Documenting the good helps you remember hope during the hard times.
  • Peer support is uniquely powerful — lived experience builds trust and connection.
  • You don’t need to hold on forever — just hold on for today.
  • You deserve to live — and not just survive, but to feel happiness, too.
  • The stories we tell ourselves shape what we believe — choose self-compassion over self-criticism whenever you can.
  • Even when happiness feels out of reach, it still exists — and it is not reserved for others. You are worthy of it.
  • Reaching out is an act of strength — asking for help doesn’t mean you’ve failed, it means you are still fighting.

If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, consider sharing this episode of Giving Voice to Depression or reaching out to a trusted support resource. There is no shame in needing help. And there is always hope — even when we can’t yet see it.

As Cara urged:

Don’t believe everything that your depression tells you. Please don’t believe it.

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Depression and Recovery: Sabra’s 7 Ways to Find Your Path to Feeling Good

Battling depression can feel like being stuck in a deep pit with no way out. The weight of sadness, lack of energy, and loss of interest in life can be overwhelming, making even simple daily tasks feel impossible. But what if there were not just one, but many paths to finding your way back to feeling good?

In a recent episode of the Giving Voice to Mental Health Podcast by Recovery.com, Sabra, a woman navigating career transitions and significant grief, shared her powerful journey through depression and recovery. Her story highlights a crucial message: options are beautiful, and not having options can be dangerous.

Sabra’s experience underscores the multifaceted nature of depression and the importance of a personalized approach to healing. From navigating seasonal affective disorder and deep depressive episodes to exploring different medications and ultimately finding profound relief through ketamine treatment, her story is a testament to resilience and the evolving landscape of mental health care.

1. Recognizing the Nuances of Depression

Depression isn’t a one-size-fits-all experience. It can manifest in various forms, from persistent low-grade sadness to severe, debilitating episodes. Sabra’s narrative beautifully illustrates this spectrum. She openly discussed her diagnosis of seasonal affective disorder (SAD), a type of depression linked to changes in seasons, typically in winter. However, she also spoke of “deep depressions” triggered by significant life events, such as a traumatic divorce, a devastating breakup, and the compounding grief of losing her father and beloved dog.

For Sabra, a self-proclaimed “type A person, artist who has hustled and worked and been doing all of the things all of the time,” depression brought her to a jarring halt. She describes it as slowing her down, making her feel like “nothing is functioning.” Even when she appeared “normal” to others, internally, she felt a profound loss of energy, passion, and drive.

“It may look normal, but it’s not your normal,” she powerfully stated, emphasizing the internal struggle that often goes unseen. This highlights a critical aspect of depression: its impact is often deeply personal and may not always be evident to those around you. Recognizing this internal disparity is a vital first step toward seeking help.

Life throws curveballs, and for individuals prone to depression, these curveballs can act as powerful triggers. Sabra’s story is a prime example. The end of a challenging marriage, a subsequent heartbreak, and then the successive losses of her father and dog plunged her into deep depressive states. These external factors exacerbated her underlying tendencies toward depression and SAD.

“I knew that there were other factors involved, like having tried a few different medications within the year and that they didn’t work. And just being triggered more and saying, yeah, this is more than just grief. This is uncontrollable grief, this is depression,” Sabra recounted.

Recognizing triggers is an essential part of managing mental health. Whether it’s seasonal changes, significant life stressors, relationship difficulties, or grief, understanding what might precipitate a depressive episode allows for proactive strategies and seeking support before symptoms become overwhelming. It’s about understanding that while grief is a natural response to loss, when it becomes “uncontrollable” and leads to a significant decline in functioning, it may have transitioned into depression.

3. The Journey Through Different Treatment Paths

The path to recovery is rarely linear, and Sabra’s experience with various treatments perfectly illustrates this. Her initial attempts with traditional antidepressants, Zoloft and Lexapro, yielded mixed results. While they offered some support, the side effects and lack of significant improvement led her to discontinue them. This highlights a common reality: finding the right medication and dosage often requires patience and collaboration with a healthcare provider.

Sabra’s candidness about the challenges she faced with these medications—sleep disturbances, headaches, and a general feeling of not receiving enough support—is a crucial reminder that not every treatment works for everyone, and it’s okay to advocate for yourself and explore alternatives.

“I did not respond well to the Zoloft. I didn’t sleep well. I had headaches all the time. It was making me very unhappy and uncomfortable. And so that was not the right thing,” she explained.

Explore treatment options for depression.

4. Embracing Novel and Emerging Treatments: Ketamine

When traditional approaches weren’t providing the relief she desperately needed, Sabra was introduced to ketamine treatment through a friend who is an ER doctor and co-owns a ketamine clinic. This marked a significant turning point in her recovery journey. Despite her initial fear and unfamiliarity with psychedelic drugs, the structured, clinical setting and the presence of a supportive nurse helped alleviate her anxieties.

Ketamine-assisted therapy is an emerging treatment for severe depression, PTSD, and other mental health conditions, often used when other treatments haven’t been effective. Administered in a controlled environment, it can rapidly reduce depressive symptoms and offer a new perspective for individuals struggling with persistent mental health challenges.

“She said, it’s okay to cry. There’s nothing wrong with that. Just experience what you can and I’ll be right here with you the whole time,” Sabra shared about her nurse, highlighting the compassionate support that made a difference.

After six sessions of ketamine treatment, Sabra experienced a profound shift. Less than a month later, she was “smiling and laughing and telling the story and out and about and feeling great.” While she still grieves her dog, the debilitating depression that consumed her had lifted.

This transformative experience underscores the importance of staying open to evidence-based, newer interventions when conventional methods fall short. It’s a reminder that the landscape of mental health treatment is continually evolving, offering new avenues for healing and recovery.

5. The Power of Community and Support

Beyond formal treatments, Sabra emphasized the critical role of community and support in her recovery. Her best friend, who advocated for ketamine treatment and provided a vital connection, played a significant role in her journey. Having someone who could see her suffering and offer a concrete solution was invaluable, especially when Sabra felt too overwhelmed to seek help herself.

“My best friend is married to an ER doctor and they own a ketamine clinic here in town, and she had been telling me, I wish you hadn’t gone on those antidepressants. I really think the ketamine would help,” Sabra explained, showing the pivotal role her friend played.

This highlights a universal truth in mental health recovery: you don’t have to go through it alone. Whether it’s friends, family, support groups, or peer communities, having a network of people who understand and care can make a profound difference. As the podcast hosts discussed, mental health challenges can be incredibly isolating, and having someone simply listen without judgment can be a powerful form of healing.

“When we can just listen, that alone can be like a treatment. That alone is one of the things that helps us get through, get past or find a little bit of peace in whatever pit we happened to be stuck in at the time,” one reflected.

6. The Evolving Nature of Recovery and Self-Compassion

Recovery from depression isn’t a destination; it’s an ongoing journey. As Sabra and the hosts discussed, what works today might not be what’s needed a year from now. Our needs change, and so too should our approach to mental well-being. This calls for a flexible mindset and a willingness to continually reassess and adapt our coping mechanisms and treatment strategies.

The idea that “all of those things that maybe felt like they didn’t work, they were leading us somewhere,” is a powerful perspective. Each attempted treatment, even if seemingly unsuccessful, provides valuable information and nudges us closer to what does work. It’s about building a comprehensive toolkit of strategies and resources rather than relying on a single “fix.”

Furthermore, self-compassion is key. Depression often comes with intense self-criticism and feelings of inadequacy. Sabra, as a “type A” individual, struggled with feeling “substandard” when her energy and drive diminished. Learning to extend grace to oneself during these challenging periods is vital for healing.

7. The Importance of Options and Accessible Resources

Perhaps the most resonant takeaway from Sabra’s story is the profound importance of having options and access to resources. When depression takes hold, the ability to seek out and evaluate different pathways to healing can be severely impaired. This is where comprehensive, accessible resources like Recovery.com become invaluable.

“I think to know that there are many options, but you have to find the one that works for you because there’s not one right solution and it might be a multitude of things,” Sabra wisely advised.

A platform that allows individuals to explore various treatment modalities, filter by location, insurance, and specific conditions, can significantly reduce the barrier to seeking help. When someone is at their lowest, the thought of navigating complex healthcare systems can be overwhelming. A streamlined resource that presents available options empowers individuals to take that crucial first step.

“Because having options is a lot better than not having any options,” the hosts concluded, summarizing the core message of Sabra’s empowering narrative.

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Memory, Mood, and Mental Health: 13 Strategies to Outsmart Depression’s Lie

This article is a summary of a conversation from the Giving Voice to Depression podcast, hosted by Terry McGuire. In this episode, Terry and her daughter and co-host Carly speak with mental health advocate and writer Natasha Tracy about how depression distorts and even erases our happy memories, making recovery more difficult.

1. Understand That Depression Can Literally Steal Your Memories

It’s not just in your head. Research has shown that depression can interfere with memory, particularly memories of positive experiences. This cognitive symptom is often overlooked, but it plays a powerful role in deepening depressive episodes.

As Natasha explained:

In a profound depression, it’s almost like someone has erased my memory from all of the good experiences. Or to put it another way, they’ve taken good experiences and made them feel like they were depressed, even when they weren’t.

Why it matters: When we can’t access proof that we’ve been happy before, it becomes much harder to believe we can be happy again. That absence of memory feeds hopelessness and prolongs suffering.

2. Learn the Concept of “State Memory”

Natasha explains a psychological phenomenon known as state-dependent memory: when you’re depressed, your brain better recalls other times you felt depressed. When you’re happy, you remember happier experiences.

This means:

  • Depression reinforces itself.
  • Memory becomes emotionally filtered.
  • Positive memories feel distant or even untrue.

As Natasha said:

That’s called state memory… When you’re happy it’s great… but when we’re really profoundly depressed that particular propensity is very negative.

Key takeaway: Depression distorts your sense of time and history. It tricks you into thinking you’ve always felt this way.

3. Talk Back to Depression

Natasha offers a powerful cognitive behavioral approach: externalize your depression and then argue with it.

She suggests imagining a split between your mind and your brain:

  • Your brain is where depression lives.
  • Your mind is your truest self, beyond the illness.

As Natasha shared:

My brain says to me, you are very depressed, you should kill yourself. But my mind says to my depression, you are lying to me. Yes, I am depressed. But the world would not be better off without me.

Practice it:

  • Name the depression.
  • Speak to it in your own voice.
  • Call out its lies and reclaim your truth.

4. Use Your Own Voice as a Lifeline

One of Natasha’s most profound strategies is to record a video to yourself when you’re not depressed. No production needed. Just talk to yourself.

As Natasha suggested:

Hello, I know you’re feeling really depressed right now… but I am sitting here on this very day, sitting in front of the camera and I’m talking to you and I am doing it while I am not depressed.

Why it helps:

  • We believe our own voice more than anyone else’s.
  • Watching ourselves in a healthy state creates visual, emotional proof of better times.

As Terry eloquently put it:

Even if where I am right now is not perfect by any means, it is so much better than where you are and you’ll get here because you’re me and I’m here.

5. Borrow the Memories of Loved Ones

Depression might block your access to good memories, but others can help you remember.

One listener, Dina Marie, contacted friends and family and asked them to write down joyful memories they shared with her. She saved these letters and rereads them during depressive episodes.

Additional ideas:

  • Ask for a voice message or photo.
  • Create a memory scrapbook.
  • Store these reminders where you’ll see them.

As Natasha said:

When your memory’s not working properly, count on other people.

6. Build a “Hope Kit” of Tangible Memories

Several guests on the podcast have suggested assembling a box of reminders that you can turn to when depression sets in.

What to include:

  • Photos of happy times
  • Concert or travel ticket stubs
  • Notes from friends
  • Mementos from places that brought you peace

Carly also created a phone album called “Happy Things” with images she finds comforting.

As Carly explained:

These are each evidence of something good about my life that right now isn’t stirring up those good feelings in me, but that’s the filter of depression, not the reality.

7. Ask Trusted People to Describe You

When depression dulls not only your memories but also your identity, ask friends to reflect your best traits back to you.

Carly once texted 12 friends asking them to share three words they’d use to describe her. She saved the responses in a note for low days.

Why it helps:

  • Reconnects you to your identity
  • Counters negative self-talk
  • Grounds you in truth from people who love you

As Carly shared:

It was something I could hold on to, to prevent myself from going under.

8. Choose Uplifting Over Depressing Stimuli

When you’re depressed, the temptation might be to match your mood with sad songs, bleak movies, or isolating behaviors. But Natasha urges listeners to do the opposite.

Swap in:

  • Music that makes you smile
  • Nature sounds or favorite movies
  • Bright, sensory-rich environments

As Natasha advised:

If you’re depressed, you don’t put yourself in further depressing situations, if at all possible.

Remember: Even a small lift matters. Tiny joys can interrupt deep spirals.

9. Accept That Hope Might Be Fragile, But It’s Still Powerful

Hope, as Natasha says, is tricky. It can feel like a risk. Especially when you’ve had treatments or strategies fail in the past.

As Natasha reflected:

You need a kernel. You need something. You need a tiny little flame inside of you that says there is hope.

But even if it’s only enough hope to feed the cat or get out of bed, it’s still real. It’s still yours.

What to hold onto:

  • Hope doesn’t need to be huge.
  • It just needs to be enough for today.

10. Remember That Depression Lies

Finally, the most essential reminder: depression lies. And it lies in your own voice.

As Natasha explained:

Depression knows the worst way to say something to you. It knows the way to hurt you the most because it lives in your brain.

The lies sound real. They sound like truth. But they are part of the illness, not your identity.

So what can you do?

  • Externalize the depression.
  • Use tools like video messages, photos, letters.
  • Practice separating your truth from the illness’ voice.

As Terry poignantly observed:

If we were watching this in some movie and there was some mad scientist doing this, we’d be like, ‘Oh, that’s a little far. Really, they can’t have their happy memories?’ But here we are.

11. Recognize How Depression Isolates You from Gratitude

Many well-meaning people remind those who are struggling to “count their blessings,” but depression blocks access to that sense of appreciation. It filters out even obvious, meaningful positives.

As Carly pointed out:

You’re reminding me of something I already know… I know that, I can’t feel that. And that can almost feel like an added level of despair.

Acknowledging this gap between knowledge and emotional access can help reduce shame and judgment.

12. Try a Shoulder-to-Shoulder Approach with Yourself

Rather than setting aside special time to record affirmations or journal, Carly suggests using small, daily moments—like a solo drive—as opportunities to connect with yourself gently and honestly.

As Carly shared:

I did it while I was in the car driving. And so… shoulder to shoulder with myself. It really felt like it was for me.

Creating space for self-compassion doesn’t have to be formal. It can be woven into everyday routines.

13. Build a Toolkit of Options That Change Over Time

Not every strategy works every time. That’s why it’s important to experiment with different supports and know that your needs may evolve.

As Terry reflected:

If you say you access A, B and C and you go, well, they’re not working this time… how many do I have to try before I get to the ‘I’ve got to call my doctor.’ But at least I recognize it as medical now.

Keep a wide variety of supports on hand: videos, notes, apps, therapy, medication, or community.

Key Takeaways

  • Depression can erase or distort memories of joy and identity.
  • Tools like letters, photos, and video messages can help reconnect to truth.
  • Speaking back to depression—verbally or mentally—is powerful.
  • Gratitude and positive thinking are inaccessible, not absent.
  • Your voice may be the most trusted voice you can hear in dark moments.

Final Thoughts

The effects of depression go far beyond sadness. As this episode with Natasha Tracy highlights, one of its most heartbreaking traits is the way it severs us from our past joy—and the possibility of future joy.

But there are ways to fight back. Whether it’s recording a message to your future self, building a collection of happy reminders, or asking loved ones to reflect the truth when you can’t see it—these tools offer a way to hold on.

And when hope feels fragile or memory fails, let this be your reminder: the joy you’ve known hasn’t vanished. It’s simply hidden. And with support, self-kindness, and time, it can be remembered again.