Tag: Family Therapy

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Chelsea Ocean on Losing a Loved One to Alcohol Addiction and Navigating Grief

“I used to call him Jekyll and Hyde because he was a perfect man when he was sober. Handsome and perfect and sweet and kind and loving and hardworking… And then when he was drunk, he was the worst human being on the planet, the most manipulative, conniving, careless…” These powerful words from Chelsea Ocean on Recoverycast paint a stark picture of the duality that often characterizes life with someone struggling with alcoholism. Her raw and honest account of loving and ultimately losing her partner, Dan, to this insidious disease offers invaluable insights for anyone navigating the turbulent waters of addiction in their relationships.

Chelsea’s story is a testament to love, resilience, and the heartbreaking realities of alcoholism. Through her journey, we can glean crucial lessons about recognizing the signs, understanding the progression, and coping with the profound impact of addiction on individuals and their loved ones.

The Illusion of Perfection and the Mask of Addiction

Chelsea recounts the early days of her marriage with Dan as “literally perfect.” This highlights a common phenomenon where individuals struggling with early-stage alcoholism can maintain a seemingly normal and even exceptional facade. As Chelsea notes, “people used to come over and be like, how do you guys have such a perfect marriage? Tell us.” This can make it incredibly difficult to recognize the subtle beginnings of a problem.

However, beneath this veneer of perfection, the insidious nature of addiction can take root. As Chelsea later realized, looking back with knowledge about alcoholism’s progression, they were already in the later stages of addiction by the time she recognized a significant issue. This underscores the importance of understanding the stages of alcoholism to identify potential problems early on.

The Gradual Progression and Missed Warning Signs

Chelsea’s initial unawareness of Dan’s increasing tolerance exemplifies how easily the early stages of alcoholism can be missed, especially by those unfamiliar with heavy drinking. “Before he left, we were in stage two, I would say, where he was building a tolerance. But to me who had not been around alcohol… I never noticed anything. He was fine. He never got drunk.” In a culture where social drinking is prevalent, and a high tolerance can even be seen as somewhat impressive, these early signs can be easily dismissed.

It’s crucial to remember that building a tolerance is a physiological adaptation to regular alcohol consumption and a key indicator of developing dependence. What might seem like simply holding one’s liquor well can be a sign of the body adjusting to increasing amounts of alcohol.

The Impact of Environment and Culture

Chelsea poignantly describes the drinking culture within the military and how it may have contributed to Dan’s early drinking habits. “Dan was that kid where he was drinking very young… he was in the military and they all drink in the military.” The high-stress environment, coupled with a bonding culture centered around alcohol, can create a breeding ground for problematic drinking.

The military has acknowledged the challenges of alcohol misuse within its ranks and has implemented programs aimed at shifting the culture and providing support. However, Chelsea’s experience highlights the potential disconnect between stated policies and the lived realities of service members.

The Isolation and Fear of Seeking Help

Chelsea’s account of the military’s unsupportive stance towards active-duty personnel struggling with addiction is deeply concerning. “If you’re active duty and you are an alcoholic or you’re struggling with some sort of addiction or mental health issue, you are afraid to tell anyone because you will lose your job.” This fear of repercussions can create a significant barrier to seeking help, trapping individuals in a cycle of secrecy and isolation.

This situation underscores the critical need for destigmatizing addiction and mental health issues within high-stakes professions and ensuring accessible and confidential support systems.

Recovery.com offers resources for finding support and treatment options.

The Strain on Relationships and the Burden on Loved Ones

Chelsea vividly portrays the emotional turmoil and practical challenges of living with someone whose personality drastically changes under the influence of alcohol. The “Jekyll and Hyde” analogy perfectly encapsulates this jarring contrast. The unpredictability, disappearances, and the constant state of worry take a significant toll on the mental and emotional well-being of the partner and family.

“And I’m home with a newborn baby without another vehicle and just kind of like, okay, well, if he dies, no one’s going to know because I have no clue where he is.” This desperate situation highlights the profound sense of helplessness and fear experienced by loved ones.

The Futility of Control and the Need for Boundaries

Chelsea’s early attempts to control Dan’s drinking – yelling, fighting, hiding credit cards – are common reactions from loved ones desperately seeking to stop the destructive behavior. However, as she learned, “none of that works. All it does is drive you insane.” Addiction is a complex disease, and the individual struggling with it must ultimately choose recovery.

Establishing healthy boundaries becomes crucial for the well-being of the non-addicted partner. This might involve detaching emotionally from the addict’s behavior and focusing on one’s own self-care and safety.

Read how to set healthy boundaries in relationships affected by addiction.

The Rollercoaster of Hope and Disappointment

The cycle of Dan getting “better and then spiral and then get better and then spiral” is a heartbreakingly common experience for families dealing with addiction. These brief periods of sobriety can offer a glimmer of hope, leading loved ones to believe that change is possible. However, without sustained recovery efforts and addressing the underlying issues, relapse is a significant risk.

“Just enough for me to, like, hold on, like, just enough for me to have hope. Well, okay, he was sober for four weeks this time. So he can be sober.” This highlights the emotional manipulation inherent in the cycle of addiction, where intermittent sobriety can reinforce the partner’s hope and commitment.

The Physical Dependence and the Struggle to Stop

Chelsea’s description of Dan’s physical withdrawal symptoms illustrates the powerful grip of physical dependence in later stages of alcoholism. “He wants to be sober. He doesn’t want to drink, but he can’t, he can’t say no… he has tremors or he would get sweats or he would, you know, get anxiety attacks.” This highlights the medical necessity of proper detoxification and medical supervision for individuals with significant alcohol dependence.

The Erosion of Trust and the Impact of Dishonesty

The lack of “rigorous honesty” that often accompanies active addiction erodes the foundation of trust in a relationship. Even seemingly small lies about drinking habits chip away at intimacy and connection. “How many beers did you have?” becomes a loaded question, and the constant deception creates a climate of suspicion and distrust.

The Cycle of Guilt, Shame, and Relapse

Chelsea astutely points out the vicious cycle of guilt and shame that can perpetuate addiction. The negative behaviors and consequences of being drunk lead to feelings of remorse when sober. However, these feelings can be overwhelming and difficult to manage, often triggering a return to drinking as a way to numb the pain.

“When they get sober, what do they have, like you said, you have the guilt and the shame and you don’t want to feel those things, especially as an alcoholic. You can’t manage it… So what do you do? You drink again because you don’t [want to feel it].” Breaking this cycle requires addressing the underlying emotional and psychological issues that contribute to both the addiction and the inability to cope with sobriety.

The Misguided Attempts to “Fix” and the Powerlessness of Love

Chelsea’s heartbreaking account of trying everything to help Dan, including having another child, reveals the desperate measures loved ones often take in their attempts to “fix” the situation. “You think if I could just give them more good, if I could just put more good in their life, it’ll be enough… I can fix it. I can fix it. But you cannot.”

This realization is crucial. While love and support are essential, they cannot force someone into recovery. The individual with the addiction must ultimately make the choice to seek help and commit to the challenging journey of sobriety. Al-Anon is a support group for families and friends of alcoholics that emphasizes detaching with love and focusing on one’s own well-being.

The Breaking Point and the Need for Self-Preservation

The devastating incident following the birth and open-heart surgery of Chelsea’s second child served as a profound breaking point. Dan’s disappearance during this critical time underscored the severity of his addiction and the threat it posed to the well-being of their family.

“So that happened and after that, I was like, Oh, this is it, like, this is the end. I will raise two children by myself. We are done.” This moment of clarity highlights the critical need for self-preservation when living with active addiction. Setting firm boundaries and being prepared to prioritize one’s own safety and the safety of children is paramount.

Choosing Light and Living Fully

Chelsea’s journey, though marked by profound loss, has evolved into a testament to resilience and healing. Today, she lives a full and meaningful life, carrying Dan’s memory forward with love and honesty. She openly speaks about him with her children, ensuring his place in their family narrative while also imparting the crucial lessons learned from his struggles.

Importantly, Chelsea emphasizes that she carries no burden of blame for Dan’s passing, understanding that addiction is a formidable disease. Her focus now is on living her truth, advocating for awareness, and supporting others navigating similar paths, transforming her personal tragedy into a source of hope and empowerment.

Finding Strength in Vulnerability and Sharing Our Stories

Chelsea Ocean’s courageous sharing of her personal story on Recoverycast offers a beacon of hope and understanding for those touched by alcoholism. Her journey underscores the complexities of loving someone with addiction, the importance of recognizing the signs and stages, and the vital need for support and self-care.

Chelsea’s vulnerability is a powerful reminder that by sharing our experiences, we can break the stigma surrounding addiction, raise awareness, and ultimately help others navigate their own journeys toward healing and recovery. If you or someone you know is struggling with alcohol addiction, please know that help is available.

Recovery.com offers a comprehensive directory of treatment centers and resources.

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Mastering the Gray Rock Method: A Guide to Detaching From Toxic Interactions

The emotional toll of toxic relationships can be immense. Interactions that routinely go poorly and violate your personal boundaries leave you feeling drained. 

That’s where the gray rock method comes in.

Think of a gray rock: dull, uninteresting, and unfazed. The gray rock method equips you to become just that—emotionally unresponsive—to someone’s negativity. 

This method isn’t about confrontation or revenge. It’s a strategic way to set boundaries and protect yourself from emotional abuse. If you’re constantly walking on eggshells around someone who doesn’t engage well, this method can be a lifeline. It allows you to minimize the harm and emotional exhaustion these interactions cause. 

Here’s how the gray rock method works, why some people choose to use it, and how you can apply it to your life.

Understanding Toxic Relationships

Toxic patterns are common in relationships with narcissists and other cluster B personalities.1 Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance, lack empathy, and thrive on manipulating others. All of these traits make for predictably poor interactions. 

“If you have ongoing exposure to controlling people,2 it’s a virtual certainty that you’re going to experience blurry boundaries,” says clinical therapist and narcissism expert Dr. Les Carter. 

But not all difficult interactions warrant the gray rock method. There’s a difference between the all-consuming conflicts that chronically occur in relationships with emotionally immature people and the smaller problems that naturally occur in “normal” relationships.

Note: Gray rock is often used for relationships involving narcissistic abuse. While the term is often used casually, narcissism is defined3 as “a personality disorder with the following characteristics:

  • A long-standing pattern of grandiose self-importance and an exaggerated sense of talent and achievements
  • Fantasies of unlimited sex, power, brilliance, or beauty
  • An exhibitionistic need for attention and admiration
  • Either cool indifference or feelings of rage, humiliation, or emptiness as a response to criticism, indifference, or defeat
  • Various interpersonal disturbances, such as feeling entitled to special favors, taking advantage of others, and inability to empathize with the feelings of others”

Signs of a Toxic Relationship 

Red flags that signal a toxic relationship are easy to overlook, especially if you haven’t learned to identify them, or if your childhood experiences tell you they’re normal. So how can you tell the difference between normal relationship conflict and emotional abuse? Start by asking yourself if you’re experiencing the following: 

  • A one-sided power dynamic: You feel belittled, manipulated, or criticized.
  • Walking on eggshells: You constantly dread their next episode and perform in ways you think will gain their approval.
  • Emotional manipulation: They use shame and guilt trips to control your behavior.
  • Energy drain: Interactions leave you feeling depleted and emotionally exhausted.
  • Disrespect: They chronically disrespect your humanity and personal boundaries.
  • Lack of empathy: They show little to no concern for your feelings or emotional well-being.
  • Isolating behavior: They try to control who you see, effectively limiting your social circle.
  • Rage: They have unpredictable outbursts or anger issues.
  • Gaslighting: They deny or twist reality to make you question your perception.
  • Pathological lying: They lie compulsively and without reason.

Gray rock doesn’t apply to healthy relationships, which benefit from working through problems using clear communication. It’s a coping strategy for people who need to minimize the damage that toxic relationships cause. 

Why People Choose to Use Gray Rock 

Narcissists lack empathy.4 They struggle to see things from your perspective and have little regard for your emotional well-being. As such, they use manipulative tactics like shaming, gaslighting, or outright lies to get what they want. As a result, you’re left feeling drained, unheard, and questioning your sanity.

Because of this, many people choose to go no-contact with narcissists,5 especially when leaving an abusive partner. But no-contact isn’t always possible—and isn’t always the best solution. Sometimes you need to maintain relationships with emotionally immature people (for example, to co-parent a child with an ex). Other times, stopping contact altogether involves more emotional labor than simply keeping it to a minimum.

Implementing the Gray Rock Method

Gray rocking is a way of protecting your energy by giving people who intend to manipulate you nothing to work with. This means not sharing inner thoughts and feelings. “Narcissists are data collectors,”6 says Dr. Carter. “The more you share your thoughts, they’re just collecting data to use against you later on.” 

The goal of gray rock is to put yourself in the most neutral position possible. By becoming emotionally unresponsive, you decrease narcissists’ interest in you as a target. Here are some ways you can use it: 

  • Minimize emotional reactions.  Avoid expressing strong emotions like anger, frustration, or sadness. This might feel unnatural at first, but remember, you’re aiming to be a dull rock, not a juicy target.
  • Limit conversation. Respond to questions with short, bland, factual answers. Avoid elaborate explanations or justifications. Opt for one-word answers like “okay,” “sure,” or “fine” when possible.
  • Maintain a neutral demeanor. Keep your body language neutral. Avoid making eye contact, crossing your arms, or fidgeting excessively. A calm and unbothered exterior further discourages engagement.
  • Keep it brief. Keep verbal exchanges as short as possible.
  • Don’t share your opinions or expand on ideas. Reveal the least amount of information possible about yourself.
  • Don’t make attempts to correct their thinking. If they start antagonizing you, don’t argue back. End the interaction.  

Gray rock also extends to digital communication.

  • Keep texts and emails short and to the point.
  • Don’t answer calls or messages until you feel emotionally ready. 
  • Mute, block, or use do-not-disturb mode as necessary. 

Examples: Using Gray Rock in Conversation 

When you know you’re stepping into a challenging interaction, it helps to have a plan. Here are some ideas: 

Replies 

Give bland, non-committal responses without expanding further on ideas. You can also use one-word replies like “okay,” “sure,” and “interesting,” in a neutral tone. 

Neutral Topics 

Likewise, it can be useful to have some topics in your back pocket in case you need to steer the conversation away from sensitive subjects. These might include: 

  • The weather: “I heard it’s supposed to rain tomorrow.” 
  • Non-controversial current events: “Did you hear about the [positive news story]?”
  • Your surroundings: “This coffee shop has a nice atmosphere.”
  • Food: “Have you tried that new Italian place downtown?” 

Redirecting the Conversation 

You can also (cautiously) steer the conversation away from things you’d rather not talk about using phrases like these: 

  • “I haven’t thought much about that lately.” (followed by a safe topic)
  • “That’s interesting, but I actually need to get going.” (if appropriate)

Keeping the Focus on Them

One Redditor, nospaceforyou, says to avoid disclosing too much personal information to a narcissist,7 “keep him talking about himself,” using questions like: 

  • “What have you been up to?
  • Are you still doing [insert hobby]?
  • Have you seen [insert movie]? I’m trying to decide whether or not to go. What do you think?
  • Have you had lunch/dinner yet?
  • How is [insert one of their friends] doing these days? Do you still talk?
  • Do you have plans to go anywhere this summer?”

The key is to keep responses brief, factual, and non-judgmental. Avoid getting drawn into emotional discussions or sharing personal details that could spark further conversation. Remember, your safety comes first. If the situation escalates or feels unsafe, remove yourself from the interaction.

With all of these techniques, proceed with caution. Your relationship dynamic is unique, and you know best what will escalate or deescalate a situation. 

Is Gray Rocking Narcissistic Behavior? 

Stonewalling8 (giving you the silent treatment, ghosting, or shutting down) is a common narcissistic tactic. So what’s the difference between this and gray rock? The answer is: the motive.

“There’s a difference between selfishness and self-preservation,” says Dr. Carter. Stonewalling is a narcissistic person’s way of punishing you for not going along with their agenda. Gray rocking, on the other hand, is not used for manipulation.

Boundaries and Self-Care

Boundaries keep us safe and set the standard for how we want to be treated. By using the gray rock technique, you’re placing a clear limit on how much emotional energy you’re willing to invest. But it’s not a solution in and of itself. It should be used alongside other self-care strategies to protect your emotional well-being.

If boundary setting has been difficult for you in the past, there’s no need to feel bad about it. In fact, many empathetic people struggle with setting boundaries. The good news is that boundary setting is a skill that can be learned.

As you navigate this relationship, prioritize activities that replenish your emotional energy. Keep doing the daily routines that make you feel well, and surround yourself with supportive people. Rest more if you need to and do things that nourish your spirit, like spending time in nature. 

Have Your Own Back 

It’s normal to feel a little guilty when setting boundaries—especially if you’ve been conditioned to believe that standing up for yourself is wrong. But deciding to put a stop to the emotional depletion you’ve experienced is a huge act of self-love. It’s also a brave acceptance of the situation for what it is. It’s your way of saying that the other person can think and act however they want, and you’re no longer invested in trying to make it different. Your job is not to internalize their opinions, but to live your life and be true to yourself.

“Some people just cannot engage well,” says Dr. Carter. “Gray rock is a way of practicing self-care and self-respect, and is a reasonable way to engage with someone who does not participate well.”

Note: Gray rock is a temporary strategy for managing difficult people. It doesn’t address the root cause of the toxicity. Toxic relationships give us a lot to unpack, and therapy can help us process, heal, and learn from what happened. 

Challenges and Considerations

Emotional detachment can feel awkward, especially if you’re used to expressing yourself openly. Suppressing your natural reactions might make you feel like you’re being fake. One Redditor, indulgent_taurus, says gray rock itself can be emotionally tiring:9

“Due to my fawn response, I’ve never felt comfortable saying ‘no’ or setting boundaries around certain topics…I’m grateful for the grey rock technique. BUT, it’s also exhausting. It’s hard for me to give those bland, boring answers without sounding defensive or angry…my hypervigilance is on overdrive when I’m in her presence.”

“I had every right to step away from people who had hurt me deeply.”

The decision to minimize contact with someone you were close to is never easy—especially if that person is a family member. Sara D, a child abuse survivor, describes her experience: 

“I know other child abuse survivors and I know of no one, myself included, who made the decision to go no or low contact or grey rock lightly—no one. My very personal decisions to limit contact with my abuser and my enabler and, at another point, to have no contact whatsoever with the both of them certainly weighed heavily on me. Those decisions were some of the most painful and difficult yet also most impactful of my life!… They came with costs—to everyone involved. But those decisions felt necessary, and right; they were self-preserving decisions. And I had every right to step away from people who had hurt me deeply, who had betrayed my trust early and often and shown no remorse and taken no accountability.”

Gray rock doesn’t solve all your problems—the idea is that it costs you less than engaging in conflict.

Risks of Using Gray Rock

Gray rock is growing in popularity, but as of yet, not much research has been done on this technique. It also carries some potential risks: 

  • Escalation: Narcissists crave attention, and if they’re not getting the reaction they seek through their usual tactics, they might respond by escalating their behavior.
  • Feeling emotionally drained: While the goal is to be emotionally neutral, constantly suppressing your true feelings can be draining. It’s important to have healthy outlets for your emotions outside of this dynamic.
  • Inadvertently enabling: In some cases, a narcissist may misinterpret your lack of response as permission to continue their bad behavior. It’s important to maintain clear boundaries, even if you’re not engaging emotionally.

Adjusting Expectations

It’s hard to acknowledge, but it’s just not possible to have healthy, fair relationships with certain people. With gray rock, we let go of the expectation that our exchanges are going to be rewarding, or that we can change their behavior. Instead, we adjust our behavior to best handle the situation at hand. 

Alternatives and Support

In some situations, it’s better to walk away completely. If you feel unsafe, talk to a trained support specialist about making an exit plan. 

  • National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
  • Crisis Text Hotline: text Home to 741741
  • Love Is Respect: 866-331-9474

Dealing with the fallout from a toxic relationship can be overwhelming. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Therapy and support groups provide a safe space to express yourself and connect with others who understand what you’re going through.

Take Charge of Your Interaction and Protect Your Well-Being

You deserve to feel safe and respected. You get to decide what’s in your best interest and how much emotional energy you want to spend. The gray rock method is just one tool you can use to maintain your personal boundaries. 

Even when using gray rock, managing these interactions takes an emotional toll. Be kind to yourself as you progress through your healing journey, and don’t hesitate to reach out for help when you need it. 

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Empowering Support: Resources and Strategies for Loved Ones in Mental Health and Addiction Treatment

Addiction and mental health conditions don’t only affect the individual—they affect the entire family unit. If you know someone in recovery, chances are you are a part of the healing process. 

Support from loved ones plays a critical role in the treatment journey, not just as a supplementary aspect of care but as a core component of successful recovery. Your help is a profound act of love, but it comes with challenges. Loved ones can face obstacles that test their resilience, patience, and emotional stability. Understanding these challenges is crucial for developing strategies to navigate them effectively. 

Understanding the Role of Loved Ones

Each person’s journey with recovery looks different, and so does the support of their loved ones. Regardless of when you joined their treatment journey, your help matters. 

When a person undergoes addiction or mental health treatment, support from loved ones can greatly improve their outcomes1. Family engagement can lead to fewer relapses, longer duration between relapses, reduced hospital admissions, shorter inpatient stays, and improved compliance to medication and treatment plans.

These massive patient benefits are likely why you want to help your loved one through recovery; however, witnessing their struggle with mental health issues or addiction can be emotionally taxing2. The constant worry and need to provide ongoing support can be physically and mentally exhausting. This can lead to emotional burnout3, where the supporter feels overwhelmed and unable to continue providing care effectively.

Assisting a loved one through treatment requires patience, understanding, and a compassionate approach. Your guidance during this time is invaluable; however, remember that you don’t have to do it alone. There are many resources to support you and your loved one during recovery.

Types of Resources Available

To support your loved one to the best of your abilities, you will need outside help. Fortunately, there are multiple avenues available.

Educational Resources

Substance use disorders and mental health conditions can be very complex. The more you know about the condition(s), and what your loved one is going through, the better equipped you both are to navigate recovery.

To learn more about different disorders, types of treatment, insurance coverage for rehab, and more, visit our Resource Library to explore comprehensive articles covering a variety of educational topics.

You may also do your own research and talk to medical professionals to stay informed. Reading up on the condition(s) can provide you with a basic understanding of the symptoms, treatments, and potential risks. Speaking with a doctor or your loved one’s care team can offer personalized insights and information. 

Support Groups

Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and Narcotics Anonymous (NA) groups use the 12-Steps program as their foundation. AA and NA hosts meetings for family members of people with substance or behavioral addictions to learn from the others’ shared experiences. They offer in-person or virtual groups across the country. Find an Al-Anon or Nar-Anon group near you. 

SMART Recovery also offers family support groups, however they differ from the 12 Steps by focusing on one’s resilience and ability to overcome addiction rather than a higher power.

For those with a loved one in mental health care, the National Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI) provides family support groups. During sessions, peers discuss their experiences to foster understanding and hope. You may work on coping skills, forgiving yourself for past mistakes, releasing judgment, and embracing resilience. Groups are free and confidential. Find a NAMI family support group near you.

Therapy and Counseling

Family therapy will likely be an option as part of your loved one’s treatment plan. Addiction and mental health treatment is more effective with family therapy4, helping both the person in recovery and loved ones. By making positive changes in family dynamics, therapy can reduce the stress of having a loved one in treatment and improve how families treat each other as a whole. In a family therapy session, you can set boundaries, work on communication skills, and resolve conflicts.

You may choose to seek professional 1:1 counseling. It can provide a confidential and safe space for you to process your feelings, develop coping strategies, and maintain your well-being while supporting your loved one. Your therapist might help you communicate your boundaries, prioritize self-care, and practice stress management techniques.

Strategies for Supporting Treatment

Supporting a loved one through treatment for mental health issues or addiction is a compassionate yet complex journey. It requires patience, understanding, and a proactive attitude to support your loved one and take care of your own well-being. A well-rounded approach, emphasizing helpful communication, is key. 

Effective Communication Techniques

Talking to someone who’s experiencing addiction or mental health issues can be an opportunity to show your empathy and understanding5. You can approach these conversations with a calm and non-judgmental attitude. Show that you genuinely care and want to listen. And be clear that you’re concerned about them.

Encourage them to share their feelings by asking open-ended questions like “Can you tell me what you’ve been going through?” or “How have you been feeling lately?” 

Try to make your loved one feel seen by acknowledging their experiences. You can say things such as “Tell me how you are feeling, I care about your feelings and well-being,” or “I am right here for you. Tell me how I can help you.” Empathize with what they’re experiencing—they’ll be more likely to trust you for help.

Your loved one is going through a challenging time, so try your best to be patient. Stay calm and collected when they tell you about their feelings. Make sure they know that they don’t have to go through this alone. Remind them that seeking help is a positive step.

Setting Boundaries and Practicing Self-Care

Setting healthy boundaries can help maintain a positive relationship dynamic and prevent enabling behaviors. Boundaries are essential for both your loved one and yourself, as supporting someone in recovery can be emotionally taxing.

For example, you can express that you won’t participate in activities or situations that enable their addiction, but you’ll support their recovery efforts. This could look like withholding money they would use to buy drugs or not bailing them out of jail. You can offer your help finding appropriate treatment and stay consistent with your support. 

Take care of yourself by setting healthy boundaries, seeking support from others, and practicing self-care. You cannot care for someone else if you are not taking care of your own needs first.

Encouraging and Reinforcing Positive Behaviors

Recognizing both big and small achievements propel the recovery journey. Your loved one is likely to sustain recovery by staying positive and motivated6. Conversations should stay optimistic and realistic—acknowledge their hard work and express your belief that they can overcome these challenges. You can offer regular support and words of affirmation with your love and confidence in their ability to recover. 

Milestones could look like attending therapy sessions regularly, reaching sobriety cornerstones,  or simply having a good day. You can personalize celebrations to what your loved one finds meaningful and enjoyable, such as a favorite meal or a small gathering with close friends and family. 

Establishing traditions around milestones can give your loved one something to look forward to. For example, for each month of sobriety, you might plant a new flower in the garden.

Ways to Help Loved Ones Help Themselves

One of the best ways you can help your loved one is by guiding them towards tools to effectively sustain recovery by themselves. Your loved one may deal with uncomfortable feelings for the rest of their life because of their condition(s). Creating healthy habits can manage discomfort during their journey.

Outside of professional treatment, your loved one can participate in multiple self-reflection and self-care techniques to support their recovery. Taking time to reflect on personal values and treatment goals can help your loved one stay aligned with their desires. Journaling can be therapeutic7, so encourage them to write responses to questions such as 

  1. What events or decisions led you to this point in your recovery journey? How do you feel about them now?
  2. What triggers have you identified that impact your mental health or addiction? What healthy coping mechanisms have you found effective?
  3. What are the most important lessons you’ve learned from your experiences before and during recovery?
  4. What achievements, big or small, have you made in your recovery? How did you accomplish them?
  5. What personal strengths have you discovered or strengthened through your recovery process? How have they helped you?
  6. How has your journey affected your relationships with family and friends? Are there relationships that need mending or strengthening?
  7. What are you grateful for today? How does gratitude impact your recovery journey?
  8. Write a letter to yourself expressing compassion and understanding for your journey. What would you say?

You could offer to engage in healthy activities with your loved one to support their recovery. You might take a walk or do yoga with them for exercise, and you could make healthy, nutritious dinners with them. Your loved one may enjoy creative outlets such as painting, so you could do a weekly paint night with them. And promote supportive relationships with family, friends, or support groups who understand and encourage their recovery journey.

By integrating these healthy self-care practices into daily life, your loved one in recovery can build a strong foundation for sustained well-being and resilience. You play a valuable role in their treatment journey, so be sure to give yourself the love and recognition you deserve. With your help and professional support, your loved one can create a healthier, more fulfilling life.

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Understanding Family Roles in Addiction: How to Break the Cycle

One person’s drug use can affect their whole community. That includes family, friends, colleagues, and anyone close to you. Whether you or someone you love is in treatment for addiction, understanding family roles in addiction can help you heal.

Addiction and Family Systems

Addiction always has a context. Most people turn to drugs and alcohol as coping mechanisms. You might be dealing with mental health symptoms, trauma, or just the stress of daily life. Any of these issues—including addiction itself—can relate to your family dynamic. 

To heal a dysfunctional family system, it might help to think about family roles. Family therapist Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse introduced this framework in her 1989 book Another Chance: Hope and Health for the Alcoholic Family. In it, she describes common ways that family members interact when one person has addiction. 

This model isn’t universal, and it might not describe your experience perfectly. But learning about these different roles can give you insight into your own behavior. That newfound understanding can empower you to communicate your needs, set clear boundaries, and build stronger relationships within your family.

The 6 Family Roles

Wegscheider-Cruse describes 6 different family roles that support addiction.1 Each one has specific emotions, needs, and patterns of behavior. 

The Person With Addiction

The person actively using drugs or drinking is at the center of this dynamic. Even if you feel isolated, your addiction can influence everyone around you. That doesn’t mean you’re responsible for everything that happens in your family. Sometimes, it’s just the opposite.

Successful addiction treatment addresses the underlying cause of your behavior. For example, your addiction might stem from childhood trauma. Your family may be the cause of that trauma or they may have survived it alongside you—or both. Sometimes, you’ll need to let go of these relationships to move forward. In other cases, rebuilding them can be vital to your recovery.

The Caretaker

The caretaker, or enabler, tries to protect their loved one with addiction. Because addiction and codependency go hand in hand, that can be counterproductive. It might feel like you’re keeping them safe. But in reality, you’re shielding them from the consequences of their own actions. And that makes it harder for them to realize they need help.

Enabling someone with addiction also puts the caretaker in harm’s way. You can find yourself bearing the brunt of someone else’s behavior. For example, imagine your loved one can’t pay their bills because they’re spending too much money on drugs. By lending them money, you risk your own financial security. 

The Hero

This person, often the oldest child, sets out to save the family’s reputation. They put on a brave face and work hard to achieve their goals. To outsiders, they appear stable and successful. While that’s sometimes accurate, it’s not always the hero’s primary goal. 

The hero feels responsible for their family’s safety and security. They may experience parentification,2 in which a child takes on the role of a parent. Sometimes that means caring for their siblings or earning money at a young age. Heroes might also provide emotional support to adults in the family. People in this role tend to feel overwhelmed, anxious, and depressed.

The Mascot

The mascot is like a class clown. This person tries to distract their family from the impacts of addiction. They use humor and kindness to keep everyone happy. In the short term, their behavior lightens the mood. But in the long term, it can lead to serious problems.

As a child, the mascot resolves conflict with jokes or distractions. As an adult, this can prevent them from building strong relationships. They may not know how to face communication issues or power struggles. And if humor is their primary coping mechanism, other people might not take them seriously. 

The Lost Child

Caught up in the whirlwind of addiction, family members ignore the lost child. This person might be “the quiet one,” or seem like they live in their own world. Perhaps they love reading, video games, or another kind of escapism. Without the emotional support they need, they look for other ways to cope.

The lost child is isolated, often feeling sad and lonely. Many develop an intense fear of abandonment. Data suggests lost children might be more vulnerable to personality disorders,3 especially avoidant personality disorder. 

The Scapegoat

Like the mascot, the scapegoat distracts their family from the person with addiction. But instead of using humor, they act out. This person might start using drugs themselves, or spending time with friends who do. They also take unnecessary risks, requiring other family members to solve their problems. 

This behavior can interfere with a child or teen’s social development. Scapegoats are at higher risk for educational, interpersonal and even legal problems as they get older. 

Finding Help for Families

These Family roles in substance abuse describe patterns of behavior, not permanent parts of your identity. Think of them as a tool for recovery, and not a way of justifying harmful dynamics. Understanding your relationships can help you improve them. 

Most rehabs offer some form of family therapy. Depending on your program, this could mean anything from virtual sessions to an intensive family program. Treatment can help each person understand their family role in the context of addiction recovery. 

Family therapy is available for families of every structure. You can look for a program that treats teens and their parents, married couples, or entire chosen families. Some providers have even more specific areas of expertise. For example, you can easily find a rehab program for LGBTQ+ clients.

Family involvement also empowers each person to heal on their own. In addition to group sessions, family members with and without addiction can benefit from individual therapy. This treatment offers you a safe, private space to explore your own feelings. You can also learn practical ways to improve your behavior, both for your family’s sake and your own. 

Search our list of rehabs to find programs with family therapy, treatment for loved ones, and other types of specialized care.

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7 Essential Coping Skills For Drug and Alcohol Use

Finding healthy coping skills for drug and alcohol use can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re already preoccupied with other stressors. Sometimes addictions form because they seem like means to deal with uncomfortable situations and feelings. And, as a result, substance use has the potential to turn into a coping mechanism; however, it’s a harmful one. 

Learning the tools to navigate recovery, and applying them, can be extremely rewarding. Through therapies, groups, and moments in between, you can apply the skills that reinforce sobriety. Building a long lasting recovery toolkit can help you on your journey. Exploring programs that include individual, group, and family therapies can also be beneficial to jumpstarting that journey and serve as the foundation to continued healing.

What are Coping Skills?

Coping skills are instruments and methods that we use to work through stressful situations. These can look different for everyone.

Adopting healthy coping strategies can help you regulate your emotions and behaviors, helping you live a more positive lifestyle. There is a wide range of opportunities, or pearls, if you will, that you can gift yourself to make the possibilities a reality. It’s all about finding what works best for you and your recovery journey. Here are 7 “pearls” for you to consider. 

7 Essential Coping Strategies: The “Pearls”

1.Talk Therapy 

One of the most important ways you can cope with and heal your addiction is by seeking professional help. Talking regularly with a therapist can help you develop healthier, more effective habits. Your therapist will help you in an objective, non-judgemental way. And you can talk about a variety of topics to get to the root cause of your substance use. 

Aside from how your addiction is physically affecting you, you can also explore its emotional impact. Ultimately, your explorations will help you understand how to incorporate and value the new tools you acquire.

2.Mindfulness

Mindfulness can be a powerful way to work through addiction. This practice can reduce cravings and help your sobriety journey. The goal of mindfulness is to increase awareness of yourself and your surroundings. In doing so, you enable yourself to be the observer of your own thoughts and behaviors, and you then have the opportunity to move past negative patterns. As you’re going through recovery, you can use mindfulness to reflect on your progress and give yourself more grace.

Different meditation and mindfulness apps are a good starting point for your mindfulness journey. They can guide you through meditations, focus on different areas of growth, and are easily accessible to practice on your own time. 

3. Fitness

Exercise creates positive structure and routines, which can help you stay on track with other sobriety aspirations. And the endorphins we release when we work out can boost overall mood and motivation.

Exercise can help you physically, mentally, and spiritually. It’s important to nurture the lifelong relationship that you have with your mind and body. And keeping fit can lower your chances of relapse. 

There are a variety of fitness apps that help you reach your goals. Some offer virtual classes, while others track your progress. Whatever your needs are, there are tools out there to help you on your journey.

4. Practice Gratitude

Finding gratitude through your recovery process is extremely empowering. Focusing on the positive and where you want your life to go will help you stay in line with your goals. Practicing gratitude also allows you to seek out healthy experiences and relationships instead of resorting back to old ways. And gratitude helps you develop a personal arsenal of strengths needed to live a sober and happy life. 

5. Support Groups

Emotional support can be part of the framework for healthy sobriety. Surrounding yourself with others who support your recovery, and those in recovery themselves, can help reinforce your goals and maintain morale. Identifying with and feeling accepted by a group can give us a greater purpose. 

Different support groups like AA allow you and others in similar situations to come together. You’ll dive into addiction topics and open up about feelings that are often universally experienced. 

6. Connecting with Loved Ones

Outside of groups, having supportive loved ones in your life makes all the difference. Psychoeducation for loved ones, family therapy and/or couples counseling are great options for finding common ground and working through the pervasive aspects of addiction alongside the important people in your life. Your loved ones will learn more about addiction, what you’re experiencing, and how to work through issues together. 

7. Accountability Partner

While it’s important to be self-reliant, having someone support you along your journey can be a gamechanger. Oftentimes, your accountability partner is someone from a support group that you’re a part of, like AA. 

You should first decide what your goals, expectations, and boundaries are for your recovery. Communicating clearly and honestly is important throughout this process. You’ll focus on moving forward together, and they can also encourage and reinforce self compassion and morale. Sometimes, others can have tips that open your perspective and scope for your own rehab journey.

How Do They Help?

Healthy coping mechanisms can help reduce cravings for drugs and alcohol. They can also prevent relapse by teaching you how to identify warning signs. 

Beyond the physical cravings, healthy coping skills benefit all areas of your life. You’ll discover a new positive life perspective, improve communication skills, and follow through with new goals. Professionals at Gateway Foundation describe even more benefits learned from healthy coping mechanisms:

  • Manage strong impulses and emotions
  • Increase confidence
  • Better resilience
  • Improve overall health and wellness

Building Skills to Last a Lifetime 

A strong foundation for your future is built day by day. By setting realistic goals and timelines, you can create an action plan. 

Creating your game plan can be easy. First, identify your inner narrative. Acknowledge your hurdles, and then shift the energy you would have used on the hurdles towards reinforcing the positive. In taking this mindful approach, you can be more aware of how your thoughts impact your actions. Finally, be your own best friend. Give yourself kindness and grace as you carve out your journey.

Once you lay that groundwork, there are many ways you can sustain the skills that you learn. Here are some ideas: 

  • Start a new hobby that feels fulfilling and reinforces your new lifestyle.
  • Maintain healthy relationships, in and outside the recovery community. 
  • Write your own narrative. Reflect on why sobriety is important to you, what challenges you have overcome, and what wins you have embraced. You can go back and read your story on days that are harder than others to remind yourself of how far you have come.

While life can be full of stressors as you navigate through your rehabilitative journey, the skill toolkit you build can be with you every step of the way. You can explore programs that help you build and enhance your coping skills, so you find a lifetime of happiness.

Download your free Self-Care Check-In below:

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Love the Outdoors? Consider Rehab in Canada

Canada’s beautiful landscape has seemingly endless mountains, lakes, beaches, and forests. As such, many addiction treatment centers in Canada offer outdoor activities like kayaking, snowshoeing, and fishing. The tranquil scenery lets you begin recovery in peaceful solitude.

Canadian rehab centers place a focus on holistic, individualized treatment, although 12-Step programs are also available. Social support plays a central role in many programs, through peer-to-peer relationships and family therapy. There’s also a strong focus on aftercare, helping clients transition back into daily life after treatment.

Canada’s Awe-Inspiring Landscape

There’s no shortage of beautiful natural areas in Canada.1 The country is home to vast mountain ranges like the well-known Canadian Rockies, and an abundance of lakes, rivers, beaches, and more. These areas offer exciting views of local wildlife and countless opportunities for recreation. Canada’s coastline stretches far and wide, giving visitors plenty of space for reflection by the seaside.

Many of Canada’s rehab centers are located in natural settings. Victoria Wellness sits on Rice Lake’s picturesque shoreline, only steps from the lake. Their program includes onsite activities like kayaking, paddle boarding, and fishing. In your free time, you can make your way along the winding path in the labyrinth. The rock-lined trail guides you to the center, and is meant to help facilitate mindfulness through walking meditation.

Cedars at Cobble Hill spreads out across 65 acres of land in the middle of one of British Columbia’s beautiful forests. Tall trees surround the log cabin-like buildings, and trails pepper the forest for clients to explore at their leisure.

Addiction Treatment in the City

You might choose to attend a rehab facility in a larger city if you want to stay close to home, or just prefer urban environments. But even the large cities in Canada aren’t far from nature. For example, Andy’s House in Montréal is only minutes from the St. Lawrence River.

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Nestled in a quiet neighborhood, Andy’s House is steps away from one of Montreal’s largest rivers.

Montréal also has a thriving movie scene, and has been the set for several major films—including The Notebook and The Life of Pi. Perhaps this is why Andy’s House offers cinema therapy. During this unique form of treatment, clients watch movies whose characters’ experiences are similar to their own. These films can help you confront your own issues in a safe and supportive environment.

Although Toronto is the largest city in Canada,2 it still has plentiful green spaces. There are more than 1,600 parks in the city, making up almost 20,000 acres of land. Bellwood Health Services is steps from the lush and green Sunnywood Park. The secluded location amidst beautiful views of tall trees, green grass, and snaking pathways makes it hard to believe you’re still in a busy city. If you decide to attend a rehab center in Toronto, you’ll be close to both an urban environment and plenty of natural ones.

The Bright Side of Cold Winters

If you’re considering rehab in any of these areas, remember to consider Canada’s climate.3 The country experiences all 4 seasons, and the farther north you go, the longer the winters are. Most parts of the country experience temperatures below freezing for the majority of winter. There’s a reason Canada’s nickname is “The Great White North!”

However, the cold season does have its perks—like snow sports! Several centers offer fun winter activities, like snowshoeing, skiing, and snowboarding. The short, quiet days of the time of year can also provide a much-needed respite from the world at large. You can watch the snow falling outside your window, or go for brisk winter walks to soak up the peace that this season can offer.

If cold winter days still don’t appeal to you, it may be better to attend rehab in a warmer climate. This is especially true if you prefer to participate in activities like swimming and biking, which may be harder to find in Canada.

Canada Rehab Centers Foster a Spirit of Adventure

Canada’s highly accessible outdoor activities make it a great destination for adventure seekers. And it’s not just fun—adventurous activities are also good for your mental health,4 especially when done in natural environments. According to research, these activities have several benefits:

  • improved resilience and self-efficacy
  • Increased confidence after completing challenges
  • connectedness to nature
  • physical fitness
  • opportunities practice emotion regulation

Numerous Canadian rehabs offer adventure outings and sports. At Valiant Recovery, for example, you can play golf, complete a ropes course, go ziplining, and more. They also offer rooftop therapy sessions, so clients can bask in the sunshine to release the stress of working through emotional traumas. Seabridge Foundation is just minutes from the coast in the beautiful Annapolis Valley of Nova Scotia. Among other outdoor adventures, they take clients whale watching, white water rafting, and skydiving.

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Activities offered at Valiant Recovery in Kelowna, British Columbia, make the most of the outdoors.

Building Community During Recovery

Community is extremely important during the healing process. In his now-famous TED Talk, journalist Johann Hari says that “the opposite of addiction is connection.”5 While Hari isn’t a medical professional, he’s definitely right about one thing: the people you surround yourself with can have a huge impact on your recovery.

The Social Model Program

The “social model” is an approach that emphasizes the importance of peer support in residential rehab.6 While many centers offer group therapy and support groups, it’s less common for peer support to be the primary focus of residential rehab. The social model aims to bridge that gap. It prioritizes interpersonal relationships over individual treatment plans. Most social model recovery programs are founded on the same basic principles:

  • Residents both give and receive mutual support, relying on each other and not just trained caregivers.
  • A positive environment promotes abstinence from drug use.
  • 12-Step or non-12-Step support groups provide a framework for the healing process.
  • Residents can learn from each other’s knowledge and experience of recovery.

The Last Door, a rehab center for youth and adult males ages 13-30, utilizes the social model approach. In this program, expert providers “guide but do not drive the management process.” This empowers clients to define what healing means for themselves. Peers play a crucial role in each other’s learning, healing, and rehabilitation processes. Clients can also participate in the community through volunteerism and social outings. This focus on interpersonal skills not only helps you build new relationships; it can also help repair existing ones.

Healing Family Dynamics in Rehab

You’re probably not the only person in your family who can benefit from therapy. Addiction can be difficult for loved ones, too, including parents, children, and partners. Family therapy teaches you how to handle conflicts in a healthy way. It can also help participants process trauma in a safe environment. Family members learn how to support each other and move forward with more sustainable, happier relationships. In many rehab programs, friends and chosen family can partake in this form of treatment.

Sue knew something was different about her husband, but wasn’t sure what was causing his drastic change in behavior. Even after she learned about his cocaine addiction, it was a long and emotionally taxing 3 years before he agreed to seek help. Fortunately for both Sue and her husband, the Last Door offers programs for loved ones affected by addiction.

“I lost a part of who I was during that time,” Sue says. But through a family group that she attended with her husband, and a support group just for partners, Sue found herself again. She acknowledges that both groups were instrumental in her personal healing process, and that of her marriage. “I was able to heal, and he was able to heal,” she says. “You can move on and live life past addiction. That’s one really important lesson that we’ve learned.”

In family therapy, you and your loved ones can begin to repair your relationships—with each other, and with yourselves.

Canada Treatment Centers Focus on Aftercare

For most people, the healing process continues after rehab. Aftercare, also called continuing care, is an extremely important part of recovery.7 Research suggests that longer periods of aftercare result in a higher likelihood of abstinence from drug use, and sustained positive effects from treatment.

Many rehabs in Canada place an emphasis on continuing care, and provide ample resources for alumni. Aurora Recovery Centre in Manitoba helps each resident create a personalized strategy for continuing care at home.

Some clients aren’t ready to go home right after treatment. If you need more support, Aurora Recovery Centre also offers stepped-down care following residential rehab. You can stay on their property in transitional housing, or move off-site to one of their partner sober living homes. These settings can help you slowly reacclimate to life outside rehab.

Aurora Recovery
Aurora Recovery Centre’s transitional housing is located on their vast property near the shores of Lake Winnipeg.

In our increasingly technological world, online aftercare is getting more and more popular. When you finish rehab at iRecover Addiction Treatment Centers, you’ll get a tablet that comes pre-loaded with program content. Clients keep the device after finishing rehab, and can attend any of the 4 online, live 12-Step meetings that happen each day. You can also use your tablet to stay in touch with fellow participants after the program ends.

How to Get to Canada

Traveling to and within Canada is simple. From the U.S., you can just drive across the border, or fly into one of Canada’s many airports. Because Canada is so large—by area, it’s the second biggest country in the world—you may prefer to fly, even if you already live there.

To make travel less stressful, most treatment facilities offer transportation directly to and from the airport. However, it’s important to check with your rehab’s admissions team before making any plans. They can help you choose the best way to get to their facility.

Canada’s Rehab Centers Utilize the Power of Nature to Aid in Healing

In Canada’s treatment centers, you’re never far from peaceful natural settings. That’s true whether you choose a rehab deep in the forest or in the middle of a bustling city. With an emphasis on building community and robust aftercare, addiction treatment here can be the right fit for a great many people.

Ready to take that first step? See pricing and insurance information, center photos, reviews, and more and connect directly with rehabs via our directory of rehabs in Canada.

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Spain’s Relaxed Pace Sets the Stage for Recovery

Spain is known for its warm weather and rich culture, full of history and art. You’ll find everything in this temperate climate, from peaceful countryside to picturesque mountain and seaside views. If you’re looking for a holistic approach to treatment with a beautiful backdrop, you may want to attend a rehab facility in Spain.

Spain Offers a Warm Climate and Beautiful Views

There’s a reason that Spain is the 2nd most visited country in the world1—or rather, there are several. People flock to Spain for its bright sunshine, mild climate, and beautiful landscape.

The Healing Power of Sunshine

Spain is known for its beautiful weather2 and abundance of sunshine, and is a destination of choice for many Europeans wishing to escape the colder months. Spain’s official slogan is: “Where the sunshine follows you through every season,” which makes sense, since the country receives about 3,000 hours of sunshine each year. It’s home to Alicante, the sunniest city in all of Europe,3 which gets about 349 hours of sun each month. Málaga comes in 4th place, with an average of 345 hours of sun per month, and several other Spanish cities make the top 30 list.

This beautiful weather isn’t just pleasant—it can also directly impact your recovery. Serotonin, a neurochemical best known for influencing happiness, is affected by your exposure to sunlight. A large body of evidence demonstrates the positive effects of good weather on mental health, including one study that found sunshine increased serotonin production4 in a sample group of men.

Spain’s relatively mild climate is warm year-round, although it’s generally colder and wetter the higher in elevation you climb and the further north you go. You may want to be mindful of this when choosing Spanish treatment centers in the best location for you.

Panoramic Views of the Sea, Mountains, and Countryside

This country is surrounded by the Mediterranean Sea on its eastern side, and the North Atlantic on the western side. Spain’s vast landscape5 is composed of several mountain ranges spread throughout the country, and its cliffsides offer unparalleled views of the gold-sand beaches below. Throughout the country, you’ll find small cobblestone villages and serene, peaceful landscapes dotted with orange, lemon, and olive groves.

Spain landscape
Spain’s serene and varied landscape promotes a deeper sense of connection to nature for many.

Clients at Camino Recovery, located in Vélez-Málaga on the southern coast, will live in a cortijo, a traditional rural farmhouse commonly found in that region. These historic Spanish homes are often surrounded by acres of land, and the Camino Recovery residence is no exception. The Sierra de Tejeda mountain range creates a beautiful backdrop, and clients are invited to explore the trails around the area and in the nearby Almijara and Alhama Natural Parks each Sunday.

The Mediterranean coast offers stunning views of the cliffs from The Bridge Marbella. You can take in the landscape from the tranquil outdoor seating areas, or from your room in this center’s Spanish villa.

At Ibiza Calm you can visit stunning neighboring beaches, namely Benirrás Beach with its amazing sunsets. The center’s main building is a 500-year-old Ibizan farmhouse surrounded by 8 private acres and lined with citrus orchards, and you can enjoy the stunning scenery during daily walks in the countryside.

These facilities aren’t set in natural areas by chance. Numerous studies have found that nature is an extremely important factor in a healing space.6 Research shows that the presence of gardens—and even just views of them—can reduce stress.

Vibrant Spanish Culture

Spain is chock-full of unique museums and art made by world-renowned artists like Picasso, Dalí, and Gaudí, set in historic towns and villages full of classic Spanish fare like tapas, or appetizers, and paella, a popular rice dish. Spain also has the 4th largest number of UNESCO World Heritage sites7 in the world, with famous cultural landmarks like the Sagrada Familia in Barcelona and the Alhambra in Granada.

Some rehab facilities, like Camino Recovery, organize trips to nearby cultural attractions, like the Picasso Museum in Málaga, the birthplace of this famous artist. You can also explore the nearby pueblos blancos, or white villages, of Frigiliana and Comares, which are known for their cobblestone streets, beautiful views, and whitewashed homes and buildings.

Malaga
Some rehabs in Spain include trips to historic sites as part of their program.

Solice in Marbella also encourages clients to explore the nearby cultural attractions, like the city’s old town. Clients are also welcome to try local food and tapas, stroll along the promenade, and visit other nearby historic towns like San Pedro.

Accessibility & Ease of Travel

There are over 40 international airports in Spain,8 which makes flying to your location of choice much easier. Most U.S. airports have flights to at least 1 Spanish destination, and many larger U.S. airports operate flights to more than 1 location. Once you arrive, it’s simple to take another flight within Spain to your final destination, if necessary.

Many treatment centers offer an airport pickup service. Although Spain has an extensive public transportation system, it might be difficult to navigate on your own in a foreign country. Make sure to talk to your facility’s administration office to determine the best way to reach your rehab center.

Remember that while many people prefer to travel for inpatient rehab, this isn’t the right choice for everyone. If you would be more comfortable staying closer to home, there are plenty of rehab facilities around the world—some of which are likely in your area. Wherever you choose to begin recovery, it’s important to find a program that suits your unique needs.

Treatment in Spain’s Rehabs Is Tailored to You

Many rehab centers realize that treatment is not one-size-fits-all, and often needs to be specific to the client’s needs. In addition, several centers in Spain favor a one-on-one treatment approach, which is perfect for those who value their privacy. Although anyone can benefit from individualized care, people with a dual diagnosis, executive professionals, and high-profile clients may find it especially helpful.

Secluded properties can give you much-needed space to focus on healing without distractions, in addition to providing a safe environment to heal. This, coupled with personalized care, can help you put emphasis on your recovery process. Treatment centers like THE BALANCE Luxury Rehab and Istana Jiwa Ibiza treat 1 client at a time in their own, private residence. Istana Jiwa Ibiza’s villas are scattered around the island of Ibiza, and are unbranded with no observable connection to the center. This makes them a great option for those who would prefer an extra layer of confidentiality in recovery. At both centers, treatment programs are tailored to each client with a private team of specialists. There are no group activities or shared facilities.

The Balance Spain
THE BALANCE Luxury Rehab offers an ultra-private experience on its secluded grounds in Mallorca, Spain.

Some treatment centers, like Phoenix Programmes S.L., also offer stepped-down care options. Clients at this center can choose from online and daytime-only programs, or stay in their in-house sober living program. They realize that not all clients are able to, or want to, attend an inpatient rehab facility, and try to offer programs that will work for anyone’s schedule. In addition, they create a personalized treatment plan for each client.

Unique Activities and Therapies

Family and equestrian culture have strong roots in Spain, and some rehab centers focus on these aspects in their treatment plans. Because of their proximity to the ocean, some facilities offer unique therapies like surf and dolphin therapy, as well as a variety of other beach activities.

Equine Therapy

Spain has a strong equestrian culture,9 and 1 region even has a horse named after it: the Andalusian horse. Although equine therapy is not unique to Spain, horses are a big part of their history and traditions.

Camino Recovery’s program director Don Lavender pioneered equine-assisted psychotherapy (EAP), and has used it in his work since the 1990’s.

“Through interactions between the horse and the client, a therapist can help the client work through issues, often more effectively than talk therapy.”

– Camino Recovery

Seaside Activities

Outdoor activities aren’t just a way to have fun; they can also be an important part of recovery. Studies show that exercising outside has positive effects on your health,10 both mentally and physically. These activities don’t just invite you to let off steam; they may also help you develop new skills and build confidence.

With this in mind, THE BALANCE Luxury Rehab encourages clients to attend unique outdoor therapies, like surf and dolphin therapy. Adolescent participants in one study reported that spending time in these “blue spaces,”11 or “environments characterized by the presence of water bodies” produced feelings of calmness and tranquility. In addition, they also offer more traditional outdoor activities like beach walks, yoga, horseback riding, fishing, and more.

Family Therapy

Family is an important component of Spanish culture, so it makes sense that so many treatment centers focus on family dynamics and include them in the rehabilitation process. And studies show that healthy close relationships contribute to your healing process.12 Relationships like these, such as those with family, are associated with improved health and well-being.

Camino Recovery exterior pool
Family members are invited to Camino Recovery‘s property in Vélez-Málaga, Spain as part of their family program.

Camino Recovery understands the positive impact that family support can have during and after a client’s recovery. They invite family members to attend a 4-5 day family program, during which the family discusses their own issues and learns about healthy relationships and coping mechanisms in group therapy sessions. Family members are also encouraged to learn more at educational lectures.

Depending on your specific relationship with your family of origin, this type of therapy may or may not be a good fit. Whether or not you invite them to participate in this aspect of your recovery, you can still use your time in rehab to hone your interpersonal skills, either in therapy or with other members of your cohort.

Starting Your Recovery in Spain

Traveling somewhere new can help you gain perspective on life at home. At a rehab in Spain, that perspective might be informed by the majesty of nature. The culture’s focus on the arts might inspire you to create a life you love, using the tools you learn in a program tailored to support your needs and goals.

Learn more about all that rehabs here have to offer, including amenities, activities, specialized programming, and more, in our searchable directory of Spain rehabs.

Frequently Asked Questions About Rehab in Spain

What are the benefits of rehab in Spain for addiction treatment?

Rehab in Spain offers serene scenes, warm weather, and is surrounded by historic sites. Centers may feature upscale amenities, personalized treatment plans, and a range of unique therapies, from equine therapy to seaside activities. Some ultra-luxury rehabs treat one client at a time.

What types of addiction are treated in rehab facilities in Spain?

Rehabs in Spain provide comprehensive treatment for various mental health and addiction concerns, including drug addiction, alcohol addiction, gambling addiction, depression, anxiety, and more.

What amenities and services can I expect in a luxury rehab in Spain?

Luxury rehab in Spain offers several amenities and services: 

• Luxurious accommodations
• Private rooms 
• Gourmet meals
• Spa services
• Pool
• Fitness facilities
• Beach access
• Business lounge
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Building Community in Rehab

Substance use disorders can be extremely isolating. These conditions are often related to difficult relationships with family, friends, or colleagues. In some cases, challenging relationships encourage unhealthy behavior. On the other hand, even the healthiest of dynamics can be undermined by untreated mental health concerns. In both cases, many people find that building community is an important part of recovery. This process can begin during residential rehab.

When you first enter inpatient treatment, you may be struggling with the idea of community. During your time there, you can work on your interpersonal skills and begin to define or redefine what social support means to you. Different facilities take various approaches to this aspect of healing. You may be getting to know a cohort of your peers, staying in touch with far-away loved ones, attending groups, or all of the above. Whatever therapeutic modalities you use, you’ll likely learn how to relate to the people around you in a healthier way.

The Impact of Substance Use Disorders on Relationships

Your illness is not your fault. It’s all too easy to blame yourself for factors outside of your control, including genetic predispositions and traumatic life experiences. No matter what, you are not to blame for simply having a substance use disorder. That being said, you can choose to change your behavior in ways that will make your relationships more sustainable. It can be very challenging to make those changes. But, with appropriate support, it is possible.

There is a complex association between social support and substance use disorders. For some clients, substance misuse feels like a solution to social isolation.1 On the other hand, previously healthy relationships may deteriorate when a person develops a substance use disorder. This often results in unsustainable social dynamics and interpersonal strife. Depending on how your community is structured, these difficulties may play out in a number of ways.

Family Dynamics

All Points North Lodge
All Points North Lodge in Vail Valley, Colorado, offers different forms of family therapy including virtual options.

Research has established that substance use disorders strongly impact immediate family members.2 Spouses and children, in particular, may experience psychological effects. This can result in codependent relationships, in which one partner tries to support a person with a substance use disorder, but unintentionally enables them instead.

If your family is struggling with issues like these, it’s important to focus on how you can heal, both individually and as a group. Family therapy may be especially beneficial here. Reconnecting with your loved ones may have a direct impact on the outcome of treatment. Research has found that “family support in the intervention process3…contributes to a higher rate of recovery success among addicts.”

Substance-Based Relationships

According to one study, “individuals with a substance use disorder (SUD) often have fewer social support network resources than those without SUDs4…these findings suggest that, to reach and maintain abstinence, it is important to maintain positive relationships and to engage self-agency to protect oneself from the influences of negative relationships.”

When you first begin healing—and especially if you start by attending inpatient rehab—you’ll probably take a break from certain relationships. And if there are people in your life who actively interfere with your recovery, your break from them might be permanent. One expert writes that even “thinking about people, places, and things associated with past [substance] use” may be associated with relapse.

As beneficial as it can be to let go of toxic dynamics, it can also be painful. Residential rehab can provide a buffer during this process. If you attend an inpatient program, you’ll be surrounded by trained professionals who have experience helping clients navigate this type of grief. In some programs, you’ll also be able to build relationships with the other people in your cohort.

Finding Comfort in Peer Support

The Hope House Scottsdale
The Hope House Scottsdale in Scottsdale, Arizona takes in just 10 clients at a time.

At most residential rehab facilities, you’ll be in recovery alongside a group of your peers. Some rehabs have an especially strong focus on these relationships. The Hope House Scottsdale, for example, hosts no more than ten clients at a time. Brenna Gonzales, Clinical Director, describes this environment as “a tight-knit community.” These settings give you more time with your providers and may foster stronger relationships between clients themselves. And there are numerous ways to build relationships during inpatient treatment.

Group Therapy

In a group therapy setting, you’ll have the opportunity to talk about your emotional experience in a protected environment. Some modalities encourage clients to speak directly to each other, offering insight and support during the session. And even if you’re instructed not to discuss much of your personal history during therapy—as is true in dialectical behavior therapy—you may still develop an emotional connection to the people around you.

Support Groups

Although more research is needed, “peer support groups included in addiction treatment5 show much promise in potentially reducing substance use.” Some programs include 12-Step groups, such as A.A. or N.A. Others offer non-12-Step support groups that serve a similar purpose, with a slightly different philosophy. Most of these groups are designed to help you connect with those who have similar life experiences. You may find that the people in your group can offer insights you simply wouldn’t reach in more traditional talk therapy.

Experiential Therapy

Sierra by the Sea interior
Sierra by the Sea in Newport Beach, California offers experiential therapies unique to their beachside location.

In experiential therapy, clients engage in a wide variety of activities, from skiing to visiting museums. Along with other therapeutic benefits, these experiences allow you to practice interpersonal skills in a new setting. For example, if you and your cohort go through a ropes course together, you may learn valuable lessons about communication, trust, and how to take risks in a healthy way.

Healing Past Relationships

Not every rehab will connect you with a cohort. Some facilities offer individual treatment, serving only one person at a time. This can be very important for well-known clients, who may require high levels of discretion in order to effectively begin healing. However, healing in private does not mean healing in isolation. These programs are extremely personalized, with treatment plans tailored to meet the unique needs of each individual client. Sometimes, that means staying in touch with your family, loved ones, and even your colleagues during treatment.

Family Therapy

Many rehab centers offer family therapy. “Family” may be defined in many ways, including people such as parents, children, partners, dear friends, and chosen family members. If this modality is right for you, you may participate in regular sessions, either in person or online. Some facilities also offer support groups that are only for family members, helping them heal from adverse experiences related to a loved one’s substance use disorder.

Family therapy isn’t right for everyone. Some clients may even decide to cut ties with family members to focus on recovery. There is no right or wrong way to approach this; only the way that works best for you. It’s important to remember that you get to decide who is part of your community. And if your family is included in that, they may be a valuable source of support both during and after rehab.

Forming a Sober Support Network

Recovery doesn’t end when you leave rehab. At this stage, you’ll find yourself in a new environment, and therefore, within a new community. This community may be made up of your family and old friends, or it may be something you haven’t experienced before.

For example, before returning home, you may choose to spend time in a therapeutic (or sober living) community. These programs provide less structure than inpatient rehab, while still supporting a healthy lifestyle for people with substance use disorders. These environments can be helpful for people who do not have strong support networks to return to. As one expert writes about the value of community in recovery,6 “Individuals with substance abuse problems who are living in a collaborative housing setting will have their addiction treated more effectively than [those] not residing in a community-based facility.”

If and when you do return home, community will continue to be important. You may find support from 12-Step or similar support groups, which will allow you to connect with peers in your area. Many rehab programs also have strong alumni programs, through which you can stay connected with your cohort.

And as important as these programs are, they aren’t everything. After rehab, you’ll also start to create a life that feels rich and meaningful, without relying on substance use. You may engage in new hobbies, meet people with similar interests, and find healthy ways to have fun. This may sound frivolous, but in fact, it is an absolutely essential part of recovery. Research has shown that “increasing recovery-supportive social connections can have a profound benefit for achieving and maintaining abstinence.”7

The Effect of Community Support on Long-Term Recovery

When considering the importance of community for people recovering from substance use disorders, many researchers refer to a study conducted in the early 1980s, commonly known as “Rat Park.”8

In his study, researcher Brian Alexander began by giving rats free access to water laced with opiates. He found that when given a choice between plain water and drugged water, solitary rats would continue drinking the opiate solution until they overdosed. Another group of rats was placed in an enclosure he called Rat Park. As it was later described by journalist Johann Hari, this environment was “basically heaven for rats. They’ve got loads of cheese, they’ve got loads of colored balls, they’ve got loads of tunnels. Crucially, they’ve got loads of friends.” Faced with the same choice between drugged and pure water, none of the subjects in Rat Park overdosed.

This research paints a clear picture. When a subject’s needs for food, enrichment, and— perhaps most importantly—community are met, then they’re able to create healthier habits. In light of this, it is absolutely essential for people with substance use disorders to build strong support networks.9

The Rat Park experiment is not without flaws.10 Some experts critique it as an oversimplification. And indeed, this theory of substance misuse focuses only on the idea of a subject’s current environment. It ignores genetics, life history, and the effects of long-term stress, all of which can contribute to a person’s mental health. However, more robust research continues to support one of its findings: that strong communities can help guard against substance misuse.

One study, conducted in 2021, analyzed several social factors as potential risk and protective factors for substance misuse.11 Researchers found that “those with a greater number of close friends had more strengths and fewer barriers” to addiction recovery. This suggests that one’s relationships, and not just one’s environment, support the process of healing.

Recovering Your Relationship With the World Around You

Much like the process of recovery, building community takes time. Many clients enter rehab with much to learn about how to engage in healthy relationships. You may need to practice setting boundaries, expressing your needs, or navigating group dynamics. And as much progress as you might make during rehab, you’ll find yourself learning a whole new set of skills after treatment.

Remember that a strong community is more than a checkbox. It is a complex, living, breathing, changing group of people, all of whom relate to each other in unique ways. And as you reconsider your relationship with substances, you may also redefine what you need in your relationships with other people. Your support network might look very different after rehab than it did earlier in your life. And for some people, that can be extremely healthy.

To learn more about the ways different facilities foster community, browse our list of rehab centers.

Frequently Asked Questions About Building Community in Rehab

Why is building community important in the rehab process?

Building community in rehab fosters support, connection, and a sense of belonging. It creates a safe environment for patients to share experiences, offer encouragement, and learn from each other. Strong interpersonal relationships help support the healing process.

What are the benefits of peer support in rehab?

Peer support in rehab offers several benefits:

• Fosters mutual understanding and empathy
• Enhances motivation and accountability 
• Creates a sense of shared journey  
• Provides inspiration 
• Reduces feelings of isolation
• Increases the likelihood of long-term recovery

How is community built in rehab?

Community is built in rehab through various activities including group therapy, support groups, experiential therapy, outings, and shared responsibilities. These activities promote social interaction, communication, and collaboration. They foster a supportive environment for people to share and learn from one another.

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Going to Family Therapy in Rehab

Substance use disorders don’t develop in a vacuum. They often develop due to genetics, trauma, or social pressures. Any of these factors may be caused by difficult family dynamics. Because of this, many people in rehab benefit from attending family therapy in rehab.

“Family” is a complex idea. For some people, it means only their family of origin, such as parents and siblings. Others use the term to refer to their spouses and children. Many people also have chosen families, which may include friends, collaborators, and even more complex relationships. And whomever you consider to be your family, you can be sure that your group dynamic is unique.

Depending on each specific family’s interpersonal relationships, commitment to healing, and availability, this type of therapy may or may not be a good fit. However, many people in recovery find it to be extremely beneficial.

Who Benefits From Family Therapy

When you first enter treatment, it may be difficult to disentangle your own behaviors from the behaviors of those around you. Many people benefit from traveling to rehab, putting both physical and emotional space between themselves and their loved ones while they begin recovery. Over time, you’ll likely reach a nuanced understanding of what caused your past behaviors. Through this process, many people with substance use disorders learn how to be accountable for their own behavior, without blaming themselves for the actions of those around them.

No matter what led you to misuse substances, it can be extremely helpful to examine the external and interpersonal circumstances of your life. This process empowers clients to make sustainable changes, with the goal of living a healthy lifestyle even when faced with challenging situations. By focusing on yourself, and staying in your lane, you can consistently make choices that support your own values.

The Person in Recovery

For many clients, family therapy is an essential component of recovery. As you learn more about the dynamics that enabled your past behavior, you’ll become better equipped to create more sustainable interpersonal relationships. This process can also help you come to terms with past traumas, such as growing up with an alcoholic parent, especially if those traumas were either shared with or caused by family members.

“Family work helps people achieve and maintain long-term emotional resolve and resilience.”

– Ameet Braich, Clinical Director, Camino Recovery
Camino Recovery exterior pool
Set on a lush campus in Vélez-Málaga, Spain, Camino Recovery‘s robust family program runs 4 to 5 days.

Significant data supports the idea that healthy family dynamics can help you commit to long-term recovery. Specifically, “Involving family members in substance use disorder (SUD) treatment1 can positively affect client engagement, retention, and outcomes. Positive social/family support is related to long-term abstinence and recovery, whereas negative social/family support (e.g., interpersonal conflict, social pressure to use) is related to increased risk for relapse”.

This modality not only helps clients do inner, emotional work; it can also be the first step in building a support network to help you navigate life after rehab. That network may ultimately include your family, friends, loved ones, and even work colleagues. Family therapy can help you bolster your closest relationships, giving you a strong base from which to cultivate a wider community.

One study on the effects of family therapy in addiction treatment2 found that “Family therapy enhanced family resilience, structure, and strong ties; the program improved problem-solving skills, coping skills, and family resiliency levels” of people with substance use disorders. Although this particular research focused on adolescents in recovery, the same theory may apply to adults in recovery. And these same skills may also improve the lives of the other people in your family.

Family of Origin

In most families, members play multiple roles at once. You might be a parent, a grandchild, and a spouse, all at the same time. These dynamics are always complex, even in the easiest and healthiest of circumstances. Family therapy is not only intended to help you heal; it’s also designed to help the people around you heal, and to heal the ways in which you relate to each other.

“Family members assume certain roles, which often relate to…cultural attitudes, family beliefs, gender, and overall family functioning. Some roles develop in response to stress or the underfunctioning of a family member.” When you attend rehab and begin recovery, the roles of your family members may begin to shift. Although this process can be extremely healthy, it can also be stressful and confusing. For example, if your spouse has learned to care for you in a certain way, you may no longer benefit from that specific kind of care. Family therapy creates a safe space in which you and your loved ones can process these changing relationships.

Loved Ones and Chosen Family

Not everyone considers their family of origin to be their family. And not everyone should. If your relationships with your original family were particularly traumatic or harmful, it can be healthy to surround yourself with people of your own choosing. Many rehab centers define this word much more broadly, inviting clients to focus only on loving and supportive relationships.

“‘Family’ means a group of two or more people with close and enduring emotional ties. Using this definition, each person in treatment for a behavioral health disorder has a unique set of family members. Therapists don’t decide who should be in family therapy. Instead, they ask, ‘Who is most important to you?’” By answering this question, clients can start to regain agency in their own lives. You have both the ability and the right to choose which relationships are healthy for you. Even before your loved ones start attending therapy, defining “family” for yourself may help you understand your core values and your deepest needs. “It is up to clients to identify whom they would like to include in family counseling.”3

Some rehab centers have a special focus on providing therapy for chosen families. In the LGBTQ+ affirming program at Caron Ocean Drive, for example, some clients may be estranged from their families of origin. The team at this rehab strongly believes that “family members, including people you identify as your family of choice, should be part of the treatment process. If you are dealing with rejection from your family because of your sexuality, our therapists can provide counseling for you and any family members you wish to include.”

Caron Ocean Drive OurCampus Grounds
Caron Ocean Drive in Boca Raton, Florida offers a warm, nurturing environment for family therapy.

However you define family, it’s likely that you can find a rehab program that can support you and your loved ones. Some rehab centers—especially those that offer personalized treatment—may work with you to create a specialized program that meets your exact needs, making family therapy as accessible as possible.

Making Family Therapy Accessible

Even if family therapy is the right fit for you, as an individual, it may or may not be accessible for your loved ones. This is especially true for clients who attend destination rehabs. When you’re located in a different city or country from your family, you may need certain accommodations in order to schedule group conversations. Fortunately, in this technological era, there are many options available.

Phone Calls

If family therapy sessions aren’t the right fit for you or your loved ones, you may still benefit from staying in touch. Some rehabs allow clients to use cell phones and other electronics to contact far-away family members.

Every program has its own regulations. In some facilities, you may have free access to your personal cell phone or computer throughout treatment. Others may allow you to schedule phone calls in advance. You may also be required to spend some time in therapy before you’re allowed to reach out to family, or to begin focused family therapy.

Virtual Family Therapy Sessions

Thanks to the growing popularity and accessibility of online medicine, you may be able to try family therapy even if your loved ones are far away. There are a number of HIPAA-compliant telehealth platforms4 that allow clients to safely meet with therapists, trusting that their conversations will remain private and protected.

Research suggests that virtual therapy may be just as effective as in-person therapy.5 David Mohr, Ph.D., director of the Center for Behavioral Intervention Technologies at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine, asserts that “telehealth is essentially just as effective as face-to-face psychotherapy—and retention rates are higher.” However, since the popularity of this format has grown so quickly, there is still much we don’t know about its efficacy.

Some programs also offer telehealth options that are only available to families, in addition to family therapy with the client. All Points North Lodge, for example, hosts weekly virtual support groups for people with a loved one in recovery.

All Points North Lodge theater room
Known for their cutting-edge facilities, All Points North Lodge in Vail Valley, Colorado, includes telehealth options specifically for families.

In-Person Family Therapy

If you attend rehab locally, you and your family may prefer to attend therapy together in person. This is an important option for people whose loved ones may not be comfortable using technology to discuss personal information, and those whose families include small children.

Many programs offer various versions of this modality, ranging from regular meetings to occasional visits. Aurora Recovery Centre offers a wide variety of robust programming for families, which people can attend either with a loved one in recovery or on their own. While these programs are therapeutic, they also share practical skills, teaching attendees “how family and community systems are affected by substance use disorder.” PROMIS London takes a different approach, hosting a family week during which your loved ones come together as a group for several days in a row.

Benefits of Family Therapy

Because every family is unique, every family is affected by substance use disorders6 in a slightly different way. These conditions can easily influence “breakdown in the ways in which family members get along, communicate, and bond with each other. A family is a system consisting of different ‘parts’ (the family members), so a change in one part can cause changes throughout the system.”

Family therapy is intended to heal not just the involved individuals, but the whole system. This process may teach you and your loved ones how to better support each other through hardships, encourage each other to use healthy coping mechanisms, and engage in activities you all find meaningful. Rehab is, among other things, a time for you to get to know yourself again. And you may find that you’ve changed. Family therapy invites your loved ones to get to know you again, too.

“Although family counseling may temporarily shake up the family system and activate intense feelings, these feelings are a normal part of counseling.” This process isn’t easy. However, for many clients, it is an extremely important part of recovery.

Aurora Recovery
Aurora Recovery Centre invites family members to their verdant campus in Manitoba, Canada.

Limitations of Family Therapy

There is no one-size-fits-all solution to healing from a substance use disorder. As helpful as family therapy can be, it may also be detrimental to certain clients. For example, some clients find that attending rehab—and especially traveling to rehab—is a helpful way to distance themselves from toxic interpersonal dynamics. In these cases, it may be better to take a break from communicating with loved ones until after you complete residential treatment.

In other cases, family therapy may be detrimental to a client’s loved ones. According to experts, “certain family members should not be included in SUD treatment and services. Such situations include when intimate partner violence has occurred, when child abuse or neglect has occurred, when individuals are currently withdrawing from substances, when clients with SUDs are also struggling with psychosis or are suicidal, and when clients have significant cognitive problems (like severe learning or memory problems).”

And even if you and your healthcare providers agree that family therapy would be beneficial for all involved, it may not be a realistic option. Your family may even be resistant to treatment,7 refusing to join you in the process of recovery. If this is the case, it’s best to focus on your own healing, and rely on your clinicians to provide you with more direct support. You may also benefit from attending support groups, and connecting with other members of your cohort.

Your Family and You

Family therapy is a way of healing not just your psyche, but also your relationships. By improving your communication skills, you’ll learn how to navigate stressful situations without losing much-needed interpersonal support.

It’s important to remember, though, that you are not your relationships. Working on your family dynamics can be extremely helpful. But regardless of their mental health, and regardless of their approval of your behavior, you have the right to be well. Whether or not you decide to attend family therapy, rehab is an opportunity for you to focus on your own personal healing process.

To learn more, view our collection of rehabs offering family programming.

Frequently Asked Questions About Family Therapy in Rehab

What is the role of family therapy in rehab?

Family therapy plays a vital role in addressing the impact of addiction on the family system. It promotes healing, communication, and understanding among family members. This process can teach members how to better support each other, building a foundation for lasting recovery.

How does family therapy benefit the addiction recovery process?

Family therapy benefits the addiction recovery process by fostering a supportive and healthy family environment. It helps identify and address enabling behaviors, improves communication skills, rebuilds trust, and provides a strong foundation for sustained sobriety and emotional well-being.

Who participates in family therapy sessions during rehab?

Family therapy sessions in rehab typically involve the person in treatment and their family members. This can include parents, siblings, spouses, and chosen family. The goal is to address dynamics within the family system and strengthen relationships for long-term recovery.

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Finding the Right Rehab for Your Teen or Young Adult

Anyone can struggle with substance use. Whatever your age, gender, job, or relationship status, you deserve to get the care you need. However, it can sometimes be hard to know what interventions would be most helpful. This is especially true for teens with substance use disorders.

Substance use during adolescence may have long-term effects on brain chemistry.1 For example, “cocaine exposure during adolescence may lead to miswiring in the developing brain and result in long-lasting behavioral problems, such as increased risk-taking, in adulthood.” Because of this, it’s especially important to get teens the help they need in order to begin recovery.

Young people may not always be able to recognize that they need help. And even when they do, they may not be legally or financially capable of seeking that help on their own. Whether you’re a teen or an adult caring for a teen with substance use disorder, the good news is that (specialized) treatment is widely available. Many rehabs offer programs created specifically for younger clients.

If you’re considering rehab for your teen, it’s important to understand the different options available. Depending on the client’s age and geographical location, there may be certain types of treatment that are more appropriate. This decision will also be influenced by your teen’s unique history, diagnoses, and treatment goals.

Reasons for Teen Substance Use

Research suggests that “the human brain is still maturing during the adolescent years.2 The developing brain may help explain why adolescents sometimes make decisions that are risky and can lead to safety or health concerns, including unique vulnerabilities to drug abuse.”

Beyond the simple fact of their age, there are many elements that impact a young person’s likelihood to misuse substances. Among them are risk factors, which make substance use more likely, and protective factors, which guard against these behaviors.

These external influences change with a person’s age. While that’s true for all clients, these changes occur more drastically in children, adolescents, and young adults. For example, middle school students who are too harshly disciplined are at greater risk for substance use disorders. Receiving support from extended family, on the other hand, makes substance abuse less likely in this population. Slightly older adolescents are at greater risk for substance misuse3 when they lack adult supervision, and at lower risk when family members set clear expectations.

Also, teens are experiencing heightened stress4 in this turbulent era of history. According to one study, even teens who had not experienced early life stress—such as neglect or abuse—were prone to “increases in anxiety and depression symptoms” during 2020. In this context, young people may be at a greater risk of developing mental health conditions than they once were.

It’s impossible to guard against every single circumstance that increases the risk of teen substance misuse. However, it can be helpful to familiarize yourself with some of the most prevalent risk factors. Whether or not you’re able to protect yourself or your teen from these stressors, knowing what they are may empower you to get help when it’s needed.

Parental Substance Use

If an adolescent is close to an adult who has a substance use disorder,5 they may be at a higher risk for developing one themselves. For some young people, this is simply a way of enacting the same behavior they’ve seen modeled. Others may use substances in order to cope with the stress of an unstable home life.

Strained familial relationships, financial insecurity, and similar issues can be hugely impactful. However, instability refers to more than these external circumstances. These teens may also have genetic predispositions to substance use disorders, as well as other mental health diagnoses.

Co-Occurring Disorders

Certain mental health concerns, such as depression and ADHD,6 make teens and young adults more likely to misuse substances. In some cases, this is an attempt to self-medicate. However, it’s not always that simple.

For teens with multiple diagnoses, the root cause of substance use can easily become a question of the chicken or the egg. As their brain chemistry continues to change, due to either normal development or unhealthy habits, they may begin to develop co-occurring disorders that make substance use even more appealing.

Whatever the cause of this behavior, few teens have the resources to pull out of this cycle without external interventions. In some cases, inpatient treatment is the most effective way to begin recovery.

Choosing a Rehab for a Young Adult

If you’re a parent or guardian supporting a struggling teenager, it can be difficult to know what’s best for them. And even if you’re confident that they should go to rehab, you may or may not be legally allowed to make that decision on their behalf

In some U.S. states, a parent can unilaterally decide to send a teen to rehab. In other areas, minors’ consent is also required. This varies widely based on the client’s exact age and geographical location. It’s best to learn what your family’s options are before making any specific plans regarding residential treatment.

The client’s age will also help determine which treatment program is best for them. For example, while it may seem that children and younger teens are more likely to grow out of a difficult phase, they may actually be in greater need of interventions. According to one study, “people are most likely to begin abusing drugs during adolescence,7 and the longer adolescents defer experimentation, the less likely they are to develop long-term drug abuse problems.”

Many rehabs often treat a wide variety of mental health concerns, not limited to substance use disorders. Teens and young adults may also benefit from rehab if they’re struggling with eating disorders, personality disorders, or even PTSD. Each of these diagnoses requires a slightly different approach to treatment, possibly including different levels of family involvement.

Some teens are able to live at home during treatment, receiving in-person support from family and friends while they begin recovery. Others may benefit from traveling to rehab. This gives clients both physical and emotional space from the challenges of daily life. It can also teach young people to set boundaries with those who enable their substance use. While this change of scenery may seem drastic, it has the potential to be extremely helpful. Remember that there is no one right way to heal; just the right way for each individual person.

Types of Teen Rehab Programs

If and when you’re ready to choose a rehab center, it’s best to learn as much as possible about the available options. Various programs specialize in treating different conditions, and each takes a unique approach to the process of healing. Because of this, it’s best to choose a facility that is qualified to meet your teen’s unique needs.

Substance Use and Eating Disorders

Eating disorders are extremely common among adolescents. As of 2018, as many as 10% of young women suffered from an eating disorder.8 What’s more, a growing body of research links eating disorders with addiction.9 One theory even suggests that anorexia nervosa is in fact “an addiction to the body’s endogenous opioids.” A number of rehabs focus on helping clients with one or both of these diagnoses.

Gender-Specific Treatment

For some clients, having space from people of different genders can feel like a much-needed break. This gender-specific approach to recovery may be especially helpful for adolescents. Studies show that young men and women exhibit “unique patterns of substance use,”10 and may therefore benefit from distinct approaches to treatment.

Some rehabs focus on treating young women. The program at Foothills at Red Oak Recovery, on the other hand, is tailored to meet the needs of young men, as well as non-binary and gender non-conforming teens. Although it is an LGBTQ+-affirming rehab, it is probably not the right fit for cis women.

Foothills at Red Oak
Foothills at Red Oak in Ellenboro, North Carolina has specialized programs for young men, non-binary and gender non-conforming teens.

In this protected environment, clients are invited to explore their developing identities. According to staff, “​​Adolescence is a time of self-discovery and identity formation…If one successfully navigates the tasks during this stage of life, one emerges with a solid sense of identity. This is a sense of knowing oneself despite the chaos and pressures of the world around them and is paramount to making healthy, value-based decisions.”

Experiential Therapy

Experiential therapy can be hugely beneficial for people of all ages. In this group of modalities, you may go skiing, river rafting, or rock climbing. Some rehabs even take their clients on adventure outings, where they might hike the lip of a volcano or swim with the dolphins.

These experiences aren’t just fun excursions; they’re also ways to practice the skills learned in talk therapy in a different context. They can also encourage clients to develop new hobbies, and help to restore the connection between mind and body. The latter is especially important for teens in recovery.

By surfing, horseback riding, or just playing sports, young people can get back in touch with their bodies and learn how it feels to be physically healthy. Experts theorize that this has a lasting impact on their continued sobriety and health. According to one study, “continued physical health for rehabilitated adolescent drug addicts is crucial…since it could enhance the effectiveness of rehabilitation.”11

With this in mind, some adolescent rehab programs have a special focus on physical activity. Pacific Quest, for example, is a wilderness therapy program located on Hawaii’s Big Island. Here, clients participate in outdoor programming which may include hiking, paddle boarding, swimming, sailing, and more. Participants also perform community service during their time in residence. Through this process, they are encouraged to learn how to engage with nature, their communities, and themselves in a healthy way.

Personalized Treatment

There are numerous ways to approach recovery. Although many teens benefit from highly structured rehab programs, others may require a more nuanced approach. For these clients, personalized treatment may be the best option.

Pacific Teen Treatment, for example, treats only six clients at a time. Each teen is assigned a primary, secondary, and family therapist. Their team of providers works together to carry out a highly individualized plan of care. This approach may not be appropriate for all clients—especially those who want to focus on improving their interpersonal dynamics within a larger cohort. But it can be extremely effective for families who are committed to healing their relationships with one another.

Family Therapy

Adolescent substance misuse impacts family dynamics.12 According to one group of experts, “every chemically dependent person has a significant impact on the lives of several other people.” Because of this, it’s important for the parents, siblings, and other relatives of these clients to engage in their own healing processes.

In many cases, family therapy is a productive way to approach this. Most adolescent rehab programs offer some version of family therapy. This may include in-person sessions, video chats, or regularly scheduled phone calls.

Pacific Teen Treatment
A peek inside the calming environment at Pacific Teen Treatment in Malibu, California, where family therapy is a key area of focus.

Some facilities may limit clients’ communication with people outside of their cohort. Often, these programs restrict cell phone use during rehab. Others may prohibit calls or visits at the beginning of the program, but encourage this type of contact after some time has passed. Every rehab has its own unique guidelines, and those guidelines may vary from one client to another.

Therapy isn’t easy. This process may bring up traumatic memories and shine a light on difficult family dynamics. Even so, it is often an essential component of helping a teen recover from substance misuse.

Growing Beyond Substance Use

Substance use disorders are serious conditions. At any age, and especially for teenagers, this behavior should not be dismissed as “just a phase.” That being said, it can be temporary. It’s always possible to heal and grow beyond unhealthy habits.

A person’s adolescent years are powerfully creative. Over time, teens will inevitably learn more about themselves, defining their identities and discovering their own needs, goals, and values. It’s extremely important to connect these clients with the help they need and deserve. It’s also important to trust the process.

To see reviews, virtually tour facilities, and more, see our curated list of adolescent rehab programs.

Frequently Asked Questions About Rehab Programs for Teens

Why are teen rehabs important for addressing substance abuse and mental health in adolescents?

Teen rehabs play a crucial role in providing specialized treatment for adolescents who face substance abuse and mental health issues. Through therapy, education, and support, these programs help teens and young adults overcome challenges and develop skills for long-term recovery.

What treatment approaches are used in teen rehabs?

Teen rehabs use a variety of treatment approaches:

• evidence-based treatment, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT); 
• individual and group counseling; 
• experiential therapies, like adventure outings;
• family therapy; 
• and more.

These approaches aim to address the unique needs of teenagers and support their physical, emotional, and psychological well-being.

How long do teens typically stay in rehab?

The duration of teen rehab programs vary depending on the severity of the issue, individual needs, and treatment plans. Most programs range from 30 to 90 days, while others extend for longer. The focus is to provide comprehensive support and equip teens with the tools for sustainable recovery.