Tag: Heroin

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Overdose & Addiction Grief: Adriana Sansam’s Insights on Coping with Loss, Shame, and Stigma

Addiction is often portrayed in media as a visibly destructive force, leading to immediate chaos and collapse. But for countless individuals and families, the reality is far more subtle, insidious, and heartbreaking. The life of a “high-functioning addict” can exist in a parallel world: one where they successfully run a business, raise a family, and maintain sobriety for years, all while wrestling in private with a relentless, life-threatening disease.

This devastating duality is at the core of the story shared by Adriana Sansam on the Recoverycast podcast. In 2023, she lost her 30-year-old husband, Eric, a devoted father and business owner, to an accidental overdose. Her journey through love, addiction, resilience, and agonizing grief reveals the urgent need to dismantle the stigma surrounding substance use disorder and to understand the immense pressure and isolation felt by both the person struggling and their closest loved ones.

1. The Love Story and the Unexpected Revelation

The beginning of Adriana and Eric’s relationship was a whirlwind of connection and certainty. They met as neighbors, and for Adriana, the attraction and sense of future were immediate. “We just knew,” she said. “When you know, you know.” Their life together moved fast, anchored by a deep mutual affection.

However, the foundation of their relationship was built before Adriana fully understood the hidden chapters of Eric’s past. As she recounted, her initial exposure to hard drugs and addiction was minimal, leading to a naive, movie-like perception of what an “addict” looked like. This perception was shattered one day while innocently rummaging through a desk with Eric.

The discovery of a needle in an old instrument case prompted a serious discussion that would forever change her life. Eric confessed: he was a recovering heroin addict. Adriana’s first reaction was to laugh—she genuinely thought he was joking, as it seemed so incongruous with the man she knew. Eric, however, was serious, explaining he had been in recovery for a year or two. He had already completed treatment and was sober, making the reality feel distant and manageable at first.

The early years of their relationship, while happy, were also a period of “white-knuckling sobriety” for Eric. He continued to drink heavily, a factor Adriana later realized was a significant, unaddressed trigger. For a recovering addict, alcohol can lower inhibitions and judgment, making the decision to use the original drug of choice feel less consequential. A powerful moment highlighted this danger: after a night of heavy drinking, Eric once turned to her and said, “I’m craving. I need to go home because I’m craving drugs. And don’t let me leave.” This was a terrifying first look at the relentless struggle beneath the surface of his successful facade.

See heroin treatment centers.

2. The Internal Demons Driving the Disease

To truly understand Eric’s addiction, one must look into the deep-seated pain and trauma that fueled his struggle. Addiction is rarely about a simple lack of willpower; it’s often a complex response to unresolved psychological and emotional distress. As Adriana explains, Eric was a loving, empathetic person who felt things deeply—a common trait among those who grapple with internal demons.

Eric’s childhood was marked by immense loss and harmful influences. His father died the day before his fifth birthday, leaving a gaping wound. Compounding this, he endured a troubled relationship with a stepfather who was also an addict and who, tragically, introduced Eric to substance use. This environment of early trauma and exposure set a dangerous stage for his future.

The four and a half years of initial sobriety were a testament to Eric’s strength, but the underlying issues were never fully silenced. The relapse came in 2020, during the unique stress landscape of the COVID-19 pandemic. This period brought a convergence of stressors that can be exacerbating factors for addiction, including:

  • Financial Pressure: Eric owned and operated a moving company, which was severely impacted by COVID-related lockdowns and restrictions. He felt the intense pressure of being the sole provider for his growing family.
  • Mental Health Struggles: The pandemic was a global mental health crisis. For Eric, the isolation, uncertainty, and disruption to routines were a perfect storm.
  • Family Stress: Adriana was battling severe postpartum depression following the birth of their first daughter and was pregnant with their second child. This stress, while shared, weighed heavily on Eric, contributing to his feelings of inadequacy and failure.

This perfect storm culminated in Eric’s relapse while Adriana was away. The disease, which had been dormant, reasserted its presence, preying on his mental and emotional vulnerabilities.

3. Recognizing the Mask: Signs of a High-Functioning Addict

When Adriana returned from her trip, she noticed subtle differences in Eric’s behavior, though she didn’t connect them to drug use initially. The relapse of a high-functioning addict is often not signaled by a sudden dramatic breakdown, but by small, almost imperceptible shifts. Eventually, Adriana discovered heroin in his car—a devastating find that Eric initially tried to deny, but confessed to upon seeing her attempt to dispose of it.

For loved ones of high-functioning individuals, recognizing the signs can be incredibly difficult because the core responsibilities of life are still being met. Eric successfully hid his addiction from even his closest family members, including Adriana’s parents, whom he lived with for a year and a half.

Tell-Tale Signs of Hidden Addiction:

  • Excessive Time Away from Home: Eric’s work trips became longer, and he invented reasons to be out for extended periods. This distance provided an opportunity to use away from his family.
  • Increased Frequency of Normal Trips: Eric became “a gas station guy,” multiplying his short trips out. Adriana later realized this was a cover for when he would go get high.
  • Sudden “Sweetness” or Over-Compensation: Eric began offering to go out and get Adriana her favorite coffee, a gesture that seemed loving but was actually a mechanism to get her to let him leave the house. “I didn’t catch on until later is, oh, you wanna get me a coffee so you can go get high?”
  • Emotional Withdrawal and Embarrassment: He would isolate himself while using, often going to work to get high. As Adriana noted, this was out of embarrassment—an attempt to shield his family from witnessing his struggle.

This ability to manage a business and maintain the facade of a “really good husband, really good father” is what makes high-functioning addiction so frighteningly dangerous. It allows the disease to progress out of sight until it’s too late.

4. The Unconventional Path to Support: ‘I’m Not Against You’

When faced with Eric’s relapse, Adriana’s initial reaction was pain and confusion: “Why are you doing this to me? Why do you hate me?” This mindset is common for partners, stemming from the deeply ingrained belief that love should be enough to overcome the addiction.

However, as she researched and talked openly with Eric, her perspective shifted from one of personal offense to one of team-based support. Eric played a crucial role in this transition, helping her understand that his actions were not a malicious choice against her, but a symptom of his disease.

The shift in their approach was profound:

  • Disappointment vs. Abandonment: Adriana learned to separate her disappointment in the relapse from her commitment to Eric. She was honest about her anger but firm in her stance: “I am on your team.”
  • The Power of Staying: Eric often told Adriana to leave him, believing she deserved better, but she consistently refused. Her unwavering presence became a lifeline. Addiction often pushes people away out of shame and a desire to protect loved ones from the inevitable pain. Her refusal to be pushed away countered his deep-seated trauma.
  • The Desire for Help: Unlike many who fight the idea of sobriety, Eric always wanted to be clean. He would often call Adriana in distress immediately after using, begging her to come home and throw away his stash for him because he lacked the willpower to do it himself. This shows the addict’s true desire fighting against the compulsion of the disease.

Adriana’s “crazy” actions—the constant checking, location sharing, and accountability—were born out of love and fear, not malice. They were a form of survival. Eric himself later validated her vigilance: “If you weren’t as crazy as you were, I would’ve been dead a very long time ago.”

This validation was essential, highlighting that for a high-functioning addict, extreme accountability from a loved one can sometimes be the only thing keeping them tethered to life.

5. The Isolation of Shame and Stigma

Perhaps the most tragic aspect of their journey was the profound isolation Adriana endured. For years, she kept Eric’s addiction a complete secret from her family, friends, and community. This silence was driven by Eric’s fear of judgment and the pervasive stigma attached to substance use disorder.

This wall of secrecy forced Adriana into “survival mode,” making her feel like a “crazy wife” to the outside world because they couldn’t see the real threat she was fighting. The emotional burden of monitoring, fearing, and keeping silent while living with two small children took a severe toll on her mental health.

The silence broke devastatingly on the day Eric died. In her frantic call to the hotel, yelling that her husband was an addict and needed help, her parents finally heard the truth. This moment underscores a horrifying reality: stigma kills. The fear of being judged prevented Eric from seeking consistent, community-based support, and it prevented Adriana from accessing her own support network, such as Al-Anon, which provides crucial resources for the family members of addicts.

6. The Inevitable Tragedy and the Ongoing Fight Against Stigma

Eric’s death occurred on a work trip in March 2023. Though he was not in a period of active, sustained addiction at the time—Adriana had been drug-testing him and could tell by his behavior—the nature of his death pointed back to the disease. For Eric, the work trips were a time away from accountability, and tragically, a moment of isolation was a moment of vulnerability.

His death revealed a further layer of societal judgment. When Adriana shares how her husband died, she is often met with instant judgment from those who view addiction through the narrow, stereotyped lens of popular culture. They cannot reconcile the image of a loving father and successful businessman with an accidental overdose.

This experience highlights the critical need to view addiction as a chronic disease, not a moral failing. The countless thousands of accidental overdoses are not happening to “nobodies”—they are happening to people like Eric: neighbors, fathers, business owners, and loving partners. This is why conversations like Adriana’s are vital. They humanize the disease and fight the pervasive stigma that keeps people silent and isolated, often with fatal consequences.

7. Finding Hope and Voice: Moving Just for Today

Adriana’s resilience in the face of this incomprehensible loss is a testament to her strength. She now channels her experience into her podcast, Just for Today, a phrase she found in Eric’s recovery journal. It is a philosophy that embraces the idea of coping with the immense weight of grief and the past by focusing only on the present moment.

For those struggling with addiction or supporting a loved one, Adriana’s story offers crucial lessons:

  • Acknowledge the Disease: Recognize that addiction is a chronic, relapsing disease, not a lack of love or moral character. This shift in perspective is the first step toward effective support and reducing your own feelings of disappointment or guilt.
  • Seek Your Own Support: Family and friends need support just as much as the person using. Organizations like Al-Anon or individual therapy can help loved ones process their grief, fear, and anger. Resources for families can be found at Recovery.com’s resource center.
  • Embrace Accountability (With Love): For high-functioning individuals, a strong support system that provides consistent, non-judgmental accountability can be life-saving.
  • Talk About It: Break the cycle of secrecy. Sharing Eric’s story is Adriana’s way of ensuring his life—and his struggle—serves a greater purpose: saving others by normalizing the conversation.

Eric’s life, filled with love, success, and profound internal pain, is a powerful reminder that addiction wears many masks. By confronting the stigma head-on and understanding the complex reality of the high-functioning addict, we can better support those who are struggling just for today and perhaps prevent future tragedies.

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From the Streets to Sobriety: Deonte’s 7+ Ways to Find Purpose in Addiction Recovery

Life in the streets, for many, promises a path to wealth, respect, and a certain kind of freedom. Yet, as countless stories of struggle and redemption show, this path often leads to a different reality—one of addiction, incarceration, and a profound disconnection from one’s true self. This is a journey intimately understood by Deonte, a man whose life was defined by the street hustle until a series of humbling events forced him to confront his truth. In a powerful conversation on the Giving Voice to Addiction podcast, Deonte shares his raw, unfiltered story of moving from a life of crime and substance abuse to one of purpose, authenticity, and leadership within the recovery community. His journey is a testament to the idea that you are more than your mistakes, and it offers a blueprint for anyone seeking to reclaim their life from the shadows of their past.

The common misconception is that a past filled with misdeeds and addiction disqualifies a person from a meaningful future. Deonte challenges this notion head-on, proving that the same experiences that once held him captive are now the foundation of his advocacy. He’s transformed his past from a source of shame into a source of strength, inspiring others to do the same. His story is not just about overcoming addiction; it’s about a complete lifestyle reform, moving from a criminal mindset to a purpose-driven life. Through his narrative, we’ll explore how his lowest moments became the catalysts for his greatest transformation, and how his unwavering commitment to his authentic self has paved the way for a powerful new purpose.

1. Reforming Your Lifestyle is the First Step

When Deonte talks about his recovery, he doesn’t just mention overcoming opiate addiction; he speaks of “lifestyle reform.” This distinction is crucial. For him, the drug use was a symptom of a larger problem—the chaotic, draining, and criminal lifestyle of the streets. He explains, “The lifestyle that we’re exposed to, it plays a huge part in feeding… substance use, chemical dependency.” The constant hustle of selling drugs, the violence of gang life, and the need to always be on guard spiritually and emotionally drained him. This lifestyle, while offering a false sense of freedom and control, actually took him away from his family and community, chipping away at his authentic identity.

The environment we inhabit and the choices we make within it have a profound impact on our well-being. For Deonte, the criminal environment not only fueled his addiction but also distorted his sense of self. He found himself making choices that were “probably not true to [his] authentic self,” and this internal conflict left him feeling exhausted and hollow. His recovery, therefore, wasn’t just about quitting drugs; it was about completely overhauling his life—changing his environment, his relationships, and his mindset. This holistic approach is often the key to lasting recovery.

2. The Link Between Trauma, Grief, and Addiction

Deonte’s drug use escalated dramatically after a devastating personal loss—the death of his brother while he was in prison. This tragedy, combined with the lack of support he expected upon his release, left him vulnerable and seeking a way to numb his pain. He found himself “really just trying to shield the pain of my brother passing.” This highlights a critical, often-overlooked aspect of addiction: its deep connection to trauma and unresolved grief.

Upon his release from prison, Deonte was met with competition instead of the brotherhood he had anticipated. The absence of his brother, who was meant to be his support system, created a void he desperately tried to fill. He describes how the addiction began to “catch on and just get worse and worse and just… trying to deal and cope with that.” This is a common pattern; without healthy coping mechanisms, individuals facing intense emotional pain may turn to substances to escape or suppress their feelings. The lack of accountability he experienced after cutting off his supportive friends further enabled his spiraling use, demonstrating the importance of a strong, healthy support network in navigating grief and recovery.

Explore treatment options for grief and trauma.

3. The Illusion of Control: From Dealer to User

Deonte’s story takes a compelling turn as he describes his transition from a drug dealer to an addict. For him, selling drugs was about “the idea, let’s get rich… get a certain number and then get out the game.” This is a classic example of the illusion of control—the belief that one can engage in a dangerous activity without succumbing to its pitfalls. He never intended to become a user, but as his circumstances changed and his emotional pain grew, he became vulnerable. As he eloquently states, “money is really what fed it.” With access to money and drugs, the lines between business and personal use blurred.

“I was actually, I had intentions on being, you know, a big mech, you know, or just trying to get, a certain number and then get out the game. It never goes that way, you know, it is, it is never enough. Or you get to that number and then it’s more.”

This slippery slope is a powerful warning. The false sense of security that comes with having money and access can quickly lead to an amplified use. What began as a taste of Percocets in prison evolved into a full-blown dependency on heroin after his finances and emotional state took a hit. His descent from a respected dealer to a desperate user looking around his room to see what he could sell was his rock bottom. It was a humbling experience that forced him to confront the truth of his situation.

See heroin treatment centers.

4. Hitting Rock Bottom and the Call for Change

Deonte’s lowest point wasn’t a dramatic overdose or a violent confrontation; it was the quiet, humiliating moment he stood in his room, contemplating what he could sell to get his next fix. He reflects, “I had all this access, all these connections, to now I’m somebody looking around they room like, what could I sell? That’s when I knew like, this is, this is my rock bottom.” This moment of profound vulnerability was a turning point. It stripped away his ego and forced him to see himself for what he had become—the very person he used to look down on.

This rock bottom experience led him to seek help through medicated assisted treatment (MAT), specifically Suboxone. He describes MAT as what “helped me… address it and really start to like, get a plan and be able to manage it.” Medicated assisted treatment, which combines medication with counseling and behavioral therapies, has been proven to be highly effective in treating opioid use disorder and reducing the risk of overdose. This was a crucial first step, but his journey was not linear. Like many in recovery, he experienced relapses, but each slip-up taught him something new. It wasn’t until a second incarceration—which he calls “the best thing that ever happened to [him]”—that he found true, lasting sobriety.

5. Finding Path, Plan, and Purpose

Deonte’s final incarceration was the moment God “sat him down,” as he puts it. It was a bizarre twist of fate—being set up by an acquaintance over a stolen car he didn’t even know was stolen—that landed him back in prison. He could have been bitter, but instead, he saw it as an intervention. It was in this moment that he found his path, plan, and purpose. The motivation to change was multifaceted: the birth of his second daughter, his mother’s plea, and the realization that he was tired of being part of a cycle of loss and violence.

“I was just looking around like, I’m tired of being a part of this. I’m tired of what this done did to me and my people. And I think that’s really just, it sparked something in me to take action.”

This newfound purpose became his driving force. He decided to become the one to “narrate this story,” taking his past and turning it into a tool for change. His path is now advocating for others, speaking out about his experiences, and getting involved in community organizations. This act of service not only helps others but also reinforces his own recovery. The sense of purpose and the opportunity to give back fills the void that drugs and the streets once occupied.

6. The Power of Community and Shared Experience

One of the most powerful messages Deonte offers is the importance of surrounding yourself with people who are on a similar path. He tells people who feel “too far gone” to “get around recovery, people get around success stories, feel it, touch it, you know, get involved.” He emphasizes that while everyone’s journey is different, seeing someone who has walked a similar path and succeeded can provide the spark of hope needed to start.

As a peer provider, Deonte works with incarcerated individuals, sharing his story and showing them that recovery is possible. His visibility—on podcasts, on the news, even on billboards—is a powerful tool for hope. When they see a person who is “similar to me… being accepted and celebrated,” it challenges the stigma and encourages them to believe in their own potential for change. This sense of belonging and shared experience is a cornerstone of effective recovery. A meta-analysis published in the Journal of Substance Abuse Treatment confirmed that peer support services are effective in improving substance use outcomes.

7. The Liberation of Living Your Authentic Self

For Deonte, the ultimate reward of recovery is authenticity. He describes his former self as a “lost, confused, broken man,” but the man he is today is “purpose driven” and “liberated.” He explains that his street identity was something he “built… because I thought that I had to be this guy.” In reality, his authentic self was the person who loved riding horses with his grandfather.

“the man in front of you is somebody who’s took accountability. Also not perfect by any means, just open and transparent about that, but also making that real effort and and you know, just taking that initiative really be that change that I wanna see in the world.”

This liberation from a false identity is the true essence of his recovery. He’s no longer operating in “fear, shame, and guilt.” By embracing his past, taking accountability, and openly sharing his story, he has found a freedom that the streets could never offer. His journey serves as a beacon for anyone who feels trapped by their past, demonstrating that the truest form of freedom comes from within, through the courageous act of self-reclamation.

Conclusion: A New Blueprint for Life

Deonte’s story is a compelling narrative of transformation. He moved from a life of fleeting, false freedom to one of enduring, authentic liberation. His path was not easy or linear, marked by setbacks and moments of despair, but each challenge became a catalyst for growth. He learned that a criminal lifestyle is not a life at all, but a constant state of spiritual and emotional exhaustion. He discovered that true strength lies not in the ego of the streets, but in the vulnerability of admitting you need help.

His experience offers a new blueprint for those struggling with addiction and a criminal past. It starts with recognizing the need for a lifestyle reform, acknowledging the deep roots of trauma and grief, and understanding that the illusion of control is a dangerous trap. The path to recovery is paved with community, peer support, and the courage to live an authentic, purpose-driven life. Deonte’s message is a powerful one: you are more than your mistakes, and your story has the power to not only change your life but to inspire others to find their own path to freedom.

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How Zac Clark Found Addiction Recovery: 7 Lessons from a Journey of Hope

In the landscape of addiction and recovery, few stories resonate with as much raw honesty and hope as that of Zac Clark. Known as a mental health advocate, entrepreneur, and the founder of Release Recovery, Clark’s journey from struggling with substance use to becoming a beacon of purpose-driven leadership is a powerful reminder that recovery is possible.

His story, shared on the Recoverycast podcast with host Brittani Baynard, delves into the complexities of childhood, the insidious nature of addiction, and the resilience required to build a new life. As Clark himself states, “I think when I tell my story, what I want to give people is permission to ask for help and permission to be curious about the way they’re living and if there’s an easier, softer way to live.” This permission, he believes, is where “miracles start to happen.”

At its core, Clark’s narrative is a testament to the idea that recovery isn’t just about sobriety; it’s about rebuilding a life from the ground up, one day at a time. It’s a message that extends beyond the confines of substance use, reaching anyone grappling with a struggle and searching for a way forward.

1. A Childhood of Unnoticed Traumas

Growing up, Clark’s childhood appeared idyllic—the classic “white picket fence” scenario. He describes a loving family and a supportive environment, yet as he reflects on his past, he uncovers a more nuanced reality. His perspective is shaped by a deeper understanding of trauma, which he defines as “something that happened to you that shouldn’t have, or something that hasn’t happened to you that should have.” While he didn’t experience overt abuse or neglect, he began to recognize the subtle patterns that shaped his adult behaviors.

Specifically, he noticed how his parents’ dedication—his father working tirelessly and his mother always putting herself last—influenced him. He adopted his mother’s self-sacrificing nature, often running around “trying to help everyone in the room and forget[ting] about myself,” a behavior that eventually led to his own exhaustion and burnout. These early experiences, though seemingly benign at the time, laid the groundwork for a pattern of seeking external validation and neglecting his own needs, a common thread in many addiction stories.

Explore trauma treatment centers.

2. The Unseen Seeds of Addiction

Clark’s journey with substances didn’t begin with a dramatic rock-bottom moment. Instead, it started subtly, with behaviors that provided a small hit of dopamine. He recalls playing video games for hours or practicing basketball until he made a certain number of shots, chasing that feel-good sensation. These were not considered dangerous behaviors, but they were early signs of a brain wired to seek external rewards.

His first experience with alcohol in seventh or eighth grade wasn’t a wild, blackout moment. It was much more insidious. He had a few drinks, went home, and lied to his parents about what he was doing. The lie, and getting away with it, gave him a sense of control and a blueprint for future behavior. “For the next 15 years,” he explains, “I knew that I could manipulate and lie [about] certain situations [to] the people closest to me.” This pattern of deception became as central to his addiction as the substances themselves, highlighting a key aspect of addiction that often goes unaddressed: the manipulation and secrecy that isolate the individual from their support system.

3. A Life-Altering Diagnosis: The Brain Tumor

A pivotal moment in Clark’s story occurred in 2007 when he was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Despite his family’s concerns that his symptoms were a result of his drinking, he had an intuition that something more was wrong. The diagnosis and subsequent emergency surgery at the University of Pennsylvania Hospital were sudden and traumatic. However, instead of serving as a wake-up call, the experience became a new gateway for addiction.

Following the surgery, he was prescribed Dilaudid and morphine to manage the intense pain. As he recovered, he realized with chilling clarity that his first thought was not about his health or the new lease on life he had been given, but about getting out of the hospital so he could drink again. This moment was his first realization that he had a substance use issue, as he was physically separated from alcohol for the first time.

The pain medication, combined with his existing predisposition, cemented a new path for his addiction. He found himself telling himself, as many people do, that he needed the pills to function, even after the initial physical pain had subsided, a sentiment echoed in many stories of the opioid crisis.

Explore prescription pill addiction treatment options.

4. From Prescription Pills to Heroin: The Progression of Addiction

After his prescribed painkillers ran out, Clark’s self-deception continued. He began buying pills illegally, a sign that the addiction had taken hold. He was a “walking science project,” a mix of uppers and downers that allowed him to get through the day while maintaining the facade of a successful young man. He was still showing up to work and getting things done, but the cost was astronomical.

“I was a freight train,” he said, “I was able to show up. I was able to get things done. But, but at the end of the day, if I didn’t have my thing, I, if I didn’t have my fix, it’s not gonna come crumbling down. I’m just gonna, you know, I’m gonna feel like garbage and then I’m gonna have to work even harder the next day to try and figure it out.” The tolerance he built eventually made prescription pills less effective, leading him to a desperate and devastating choice: heroin. He explains that for many, heroin becomes the logical next step because it is “cheaper and it’s just as effective.” His descent was rapid and total, a powerful example of how the disease of addiction progresses from one substance to the next, with increasing intensity.

Explore heroin addiction treatment centers.

5. The Family’s Struggle: An Invisible Battle

Throughout his active addiction, Clark’s family was left in a state of confusion and worry. He explains that his parents, like most, simply didn’t have a playbook for this situation. They knew something was wrong, but they couldn’t pinpoint that it was a substance use disorder. A parent’s first instinct, he notes, is not to suspect addiction, but to worry about other issues like mental health, physical ailments, or relationship problems. This is a common struggle for families. They want to believe their loved ones and they struggle with the guilt and shame that come with realizing they missed the signs.

Clark, now an advocate who works with families through his organization, Release Recovery, understands this deeply. He says it’s important to remember that families are not to blame. “That’s putting way too much pressure” on them. This is a topic explored by many organizations that offer family support in addiction recovery, such as Al-Anon, which provides resources and meetings for the friends and family members of alcoholics.

6. The First Attempt at Treatment and the Relapse

Clark’s first foray into recovery was an unplanned, desperate walk-in to a treatment center in South Jersey. He had been outed by a friend, and a confrontation with his mother led him to admit he needed help. His 28-day stay was a mixed bag. While the experience planted the seeds of recovery by exposing him to therapy and 12-step programs, it also exposed him to new dangers. “I went to treatment the first time and learned about heroin,” he reveals, underscoring the reality that treatment can sometimes be a place where individuals are exposed to more severe substance use.

After leaving treatment, he was given an aftercare plan, but he wasn’t ready to fully commit. He tried to moderate, believing he could just drink and not use drugs. It was a common and dangerous experiment for many in early recovery. The relapse was swift and brutal. Within a short time, a single pint of vodka led him back to the streets of Camden, New Jersey, to buy heroin. The speed of his return to active addiction illustrates the powerful nature of the disease and the critical importance of a committed recovery plan.

7. A New Beginning: The Journey to True Recovery

This second relapse was the beginning of Clark’s lowest point. His life became a blur of substance use, deceit, and desperation. He was no longer living; he was “just waiting to die.” He finally reached a point where he stole one of his father’s checks, and as he tried to cash it, a bank teller intervened, calling his father and holding him there until he arrived. This moment, which he recounts at the start of the podcast, was his final wake-up call. “My dad walked in and I saw him…He got to me and he’s just like, he put his arm, my arm, and he’s like, son, we’re going home.”

This moment of grace and intervention marked the start of his true recovery journey. Clark’s story reminds us that recovery is not a linear process. It is often filled with relapses, mistakes, and painful lessons. His journey highlights the importance of asking for help, recognizing the subtle traumas of our past, and understanding that addiction affects not just the individual, but everyone around them. Today, through his work at Release Recovery, he helps others find their own path to an “easier, softer way to live,” offering hope and a powerful example of what is possible on the other side of addiction.

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How to Stage an Intervention: 9+ Steps to Take with an Addicted Loved One

If you have a loved one struggling with addiction, it’s easy to feel lost, scared, and powerless. You may find yourself constantly worrying about their well-being, wondering what you can do to help, and questioning if your actions are making the situation better or worse. It’s a painful and confusing experience, but you’re not alone. The first and most crucial step in this journey is to understand that you have more power than you think. While you cannot control your loved one’s choices, you can control your response and, in doing so, create the necessary environment for change.

The Giving Voice to Addiction podcast, hosted by Terry McGuire, delves into this very topic with seasoned interventionist Sam Davis, who has facilitated over a thousand interventions. Davis emphasizes that families are often “wandering around on this roadmap… with no destination” because they don’t truly understand the nature of addiction. The key to moving forward is to get educated, build a unified team, and approach the situation with a clear, loving, and firm strategy. The following steps, inspired by their conversation, can help you navigate this difficult path toward recovery and healing for your entire family.

1. Acknowledge and Address Your Fear

The first thing to recognize is the profound fear that often paralyzes families. This fear stems from a lack of understanding. When you don’t know what addiction is, you become terrified of its effects—watching your loved one “unravel,” as Davis puts it. It’s a natural reaction to a crisis you don’t understand. However, letting fear dictate your actions can lead to enabling behaviors and a cycle of pain and hope. The solution isn’t to ignore the fear but to confront it by seeking knowledge. As Davis states, “A lot of the fear comes from if I don’t understand something, I’m gonna be afraid of it.” By educating yourself, you can replace fear with a clear-headed strategy.

2. Educate Yourself About the Disease of Addiction

Many families operate on misconceptions about addiction. They may believe it’s a moral failing, a lack of willpower, or something their loved one can simply “snap out of.” However, addiction is a complex disease with emotional, mental, and physical components. Davis defines it as an “emotional and mental crisis.” It’s often rooted in underlying pain or trauma, which a person tries to numb with substances. The mind then starts to lie, creating a cycle where the substance is seen as the only solution, even as it causes more damage.

To effectively help your loved one, you must understand the insanity of the disease. This means recognizing that their choices are not logical and that reasoning with them is often “non-productive.” Understanding this will help you shift your expectations from hoping they will make the “right” decision to taking proactive steps to guide them toward a solution. Start by learning the difference between a casual user and someone who is truly addicted, and seek out reputable resources from scientific journals and government websites to deepen your understanding.

3. Build a Unified Family Team

Addiction affects the entire family, but often, each person has a different idea of what the problem and solution are. This lack of unity leaves the family vulnerable and ineffective. Davis stresses that to confront addiction, you need a team. “Everyone has a different idea what the problem is. Everyone has a different idea what the solution should be,” he explains. To get a successful outcome, the family must be on the same page.

The goal is to unify everyone around a single, informed plan. This starts with a family meeting where you all commit to learning about addiction together. You can invite concerned family members, close friends, or anyone else who has influence in your loved one’s life. This team forms a “corral” around the individual, creating a secure environment where they have less room to maneuver or manipulate. This unified front is essential for implementing boundaries and presenting a clear path to recovery.

4. Create a Plan with a Specific Solution

One of the biggest mistakes families make is approaching their loved one without a concrete plan. Vague questions like, “Will you agree to go to treatment?” are easily deflected. Instead, you need to have a specific solution ready. This means doing the research beforehand to find a suitable treatment facility and ensuring a bed is available. The solution should be a place you believe will provide the best possible care for your loved one, not a place you think they will agree to go. “Families need to understand is like, pick a program where you feel like your loved one is going to get the best care possible, not where you feel like your loved one will agree to go to,” Davis advises.

When researching programs, consider the following:

  • Length of Stay: Is it a 30-day program, or is there an option for a longer, more intensive stay?
  • Admissions Team: Do they sound compassionate and knowledgeable, or like a “used car salesman”?
  • Clinical Approach: Do they offer 12-step immersion or just a basic introduction? Do they provide trauma-informed care or more comprehensive trauma healing?
  • Family Involvement: Do they have a family program that keeps you informed and involved in the process, or is it just a brief visitation period?
  • Continuum of Care: What happens after the initial program? Do they offer resources for sober living or aftercare?

Choosing the right program is a critical step, and it should be a decision made by the unified family team, not a negotiation with your loved one’s disease.

5. Learn to Communicate Effectively

Once you have a plan, the next step is to communicate it to your loved one. This is not the time for emotional pleas or blame. It’s about clear, firm, and loving communication. As Davis points out, the more families understand the “manipulation tactics and the thought process of an addicted individual,” the easier it will be to navigate these conversations. The goal is to present the situation and the solution without judgment, focusing on how their addiction has affected you and the family as a whole.

This communication often takes the form of an intervention, which is not about forcing someone into treatment. An intervention is a structured conversation where the family team presents their observations, outlines how the addiction has affected them, and states what they are willing to do (offer treatment) and what they will no longer do (enable the behavior). This approach protects the family’s peace while offering a clear path to recovery.

6. Set and Enforce Boundaries

A crucial part of effective communication is setting clear boundaries. These boundaries are not punishments but a necessary way to protect your well-being and stop enabling your loved one’s addiction. This is often the hardest part for families, who may fear that setting boundaries will cause their loved one to hit “rock bottom.” However, as Davis notes, “As long as families continue to keep them off their emotional bottom… what you’re really doing is removing desperation from an individual that will drive willingness for them to want to change their life.”

Boundaries might include:

  • Not providing financial support.
  • Not allowing them to live in your home.
  • Limiting contact if they are actively using.

The key is to follow through on these boundaries. If you offer a solution and your loved one refuses, you must be prepared to let them experience the natural consequences of their choices. This is the most loving thing you can do, as it allows them to feel the desperation that can lead to genuine willingness to change.

7. Understand and Break the Trauma Bond

Families dealing with addiction are often caught in a “cycle of pain and hope.” You see your loved one struggling, you hope they will change, they make a promise, and you believe them, only to be disappointed again. This cycle creates a trauma bond, a powerful emotional attachment that makes it difficult to make logical decisions. This is why you might find yourself doing things you later regret, like giving them money or bending boundaries you’ve set.

Breaking this trauma bond is essential for your own healing and for your loved one’s recovery. This may require seeking professional help for yourself through therapy, family counseling, or support groups like Al-Anon. By addressing your own emotional needs, you can stop being a “burnout candle trying to light their candle.” You must “light your own candle,” as Davis puts it, so that your light can shine on your loved one and inspire them to seek a better life.

8. Be Willing to Do the Work Yourself

The recovery journey is not just for the person with the addiction; it’s for the entire family. Everything you want your loved one to do—seek help, be honest, and work on themselves—you must be willing to do as well. This means being a model of health and recovery. It means addressing your own pain, attending support groups, and seeking therapy to understand your role in the family dynamic.

Your personal growth is the most powerful tool you have. By focusing on becoming the best version of yourself, you create a healthy and stable environment that your loved one will eventually want to be a part of. This is a journey of self-improvement for everyone involved, and your willingness to do the work can be the catalyst for positive change.

9. Don’t Wait for Rock Bottom

A common misconception is that you have to wait until your loved one hits “rock bottom” before you can intervene. However, as soon as you suspect there’s a problem, it’s time to act. Davis says, “If you think there’s a problem, there’s more than likely a problem. And it’s serious. More serious than you are ready to admit.” Your gut feeling is a powerful indicator that something is wrong.

The sooner you educate yourself and your family, the sooner you can get ahead of the problem. This early intervention may prevent things from escalating to a full-blown crisis. By addressing the issue head-on, you show your loved one that you are committed to their well-being and are ready to create a path toward recovery, no matter how difficult it may be.

Final Thoughts

The path of a loved one’s addiction is filled with pain and uncertainty, but families have more power than they realize. By educating yourself, unifying your family, setting clear boundaries, and being willing to do your own healing work, you can shift from being a passive victim of the disease to a proactive force for change. The most loving thing you can do is offer a clear path to recovery and then step back to allow your loved one to make their own choice. This process is not about “tough love” but about “tough truth,” grounded in a deep love that says, “I will not stand by and watch you destroy yourself, but I will stand by you if you choose to get well.”

To find a treatment center that fits your loved one’s needs, check out Recovery.com.

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Corey Warren’s Path From Addiction to Advocacy: 10+ Lessons for Sobriety

Recovery, a journey often misunderstood, is a testament to resilience, self-discovery, and the profound power of human connection. The path to sobriety is rarely linear; it’s a complex tapestry woven with triumphs and setbacks, moments of clarity and periods of struggle. Yet, as exemplified by Corey Warren, founder of Rise Recovery Community and a beacon in the recovery world, perseverance and a willingness to confront one’s deepest insecurities can transform pain into profound purpose. This article delves into the multifaceted aspects of addiction and recovery, drawing insights from Corey’s remarkable story to illuminate the path forward for those grappling with substance use.

1. The Deceptive Allure of Validation: Understanding the Roots of Addiction

Corey Warren’s journey into addiction began not with a craving for substances, but with a profound yearning for acceptance and belonging. “I was so lost internally. I didn’t know who I was. I just wanted to fit in somewhere. I wanted somewhere to belong. I wanted people to like me because if you like me, then I like me.” This poignant admission highlights a critical, yet often overlooked, aspect of addiction: it frequently stems from underlying emotional voids and a desperate search for external validation. For Corey, this search led him to heroin in high school, a substance that, at the time, was alarmingly prevalent and seemingly less deadly than it is today. He wasn’t pressured by peers; instead, he actively sought out the drug, believing it would earn him the “cool” status he so desperately craved. He even became the provider, using his family’s financial comfort to buy drugs for his friends, further cementing his perceived value within the group.

This early experience underscores the powerful psychological draw of addiction. It’s not just about the substance; it’s about what the substance, or the behaviors surrounding its use, promises to deliver – be it acceptance, an escape from reality, or a temporary boost in self-esteem. When these perceived benefits become intertwined with a person’s sense of self-worth, breaking free becomes exponentially more challenging. Understanding this fundamental link between internal struggles and the initiation of substance use is crucial for effective prevention and treatment strategies. It emphasizes the need to address the emotional and psychological well-being of individuals, particularly during formative years, to build resilience and a strong sense of self that isn’t contingent on external approval or artificial highs.

Explore heroin addiction treatment options.

2. From Heroin to Alcohol: The Shifting Sands of Addiction’s Disguise

Corey’s initial foray into recovery after a stint in jail led him to believe that “drugs were the problem.” He meticulously avoided illicit substances, even earning his GED and attending Michigan State University. However, the underlying need for validation persisted, merely shifting its focus. “I realized check this out, if I bring a case of beer and I bring a fifth of vodka to the party, then everybody, it’s the same feeling. It is so happy to see me. It was the same as when I was doing, I’m getting the same reward that I was with heroin, but now I’m doing it with alcohol.” This realization is a stark reminder that addiction is not solely defined by the substance, but by the compulsive patterns of behavior and the underlying psychological drivers. Alcohol, being “a fraction of the cost” and “socially acceptable,” became his new vehicle for external validation, perceived as a “win” because it wasn’t heroin.

This phenomenon of cross-addiction or substance substitution is common in recovery. Individuals may stop using one substance only to develop a dependence on another if the root causes of their addictive behaviors are not addressed. Alcohol’s pervasive presence in society, its normalization in media, and its acceptance in social settings often make it a particularly insidious replacement. Many people, like Corey’s mother, may view alcohol use as less problematic than illicit drug use, inadvertently enabling a new form of addiction. This highlights the critical need for a holistic approach to recovery that goes beyond simply eliminating a specific substance and instead focuses on understanding and transforming the individual’s relationship with all mood-altering substances and behaviors.

3. The Body’s Alarm Bells: Recognizing the Physical and Behavioral Warning Signs

Corey’s rapid descent into severe alcohol dependence saw him consuming “two fifths of vodka every single day” by the age of 21. His body, in turn, began to sound urgent alarms. “My skin was kind of turning yellow. I could feel like my kidneys, my liver, I could feel my body kind of shutting down.” These are classic signs of severe alcoholic liver disease and organ damage, indicating the devastating toll chronic heavy drinking takes on the body. Beyond the physical deterioration, Corey also recognized the behavioral and social indicators of his deepening addiction. He was “drunk by 10 o’clock in the morning,” his “life’s just tanking in all areas,” and he was “putting distance between the people that really care about you.” He found himself in “sticky situations, drinking and driving, being places you shouldn’t be,” and “doing things that are against your character,” all while justifying his actions.

Recognizing these physical and behavioral signs is paramount for intervention and seeking help. The body often provides clear warnings before catastrophic events occur, such as Corey’s alcohol-induced seizure. Similarly, changes in social circles, isolation from supportive relationships, and engagement in risky or out-of-character behaviors are strong indicators that a person’s substance use has become problematic. Early recognition of these signs, both by the individual and their loved ones, can be life-saving.

Explore treatment options for alcohol addiction.

4. The Alcohol-Induced Seizure: A Rock Bottom Moment and a Call to Action

Corey’s attempt to quit drinking cold turkey by watching Finding Nemo on repeat tragically culminated in an alcohol-induced seizure. Waking up to a team of EMTs and being told, “Corey, don’t try to talk. Don’t try to move. You just had an alcohol induced seizure,” marked a terrifying turning point. Despite the severity of the situation and his mother’s plea to go to rehab, his immediate, mumbled response was, “I don’t need rehab. I’m fine.” This denial, even in the face of life-threatening consequences, powerfully illustrates the grip of addiction. “That’s the stronghold that substances in general, but let alone alcohol has on somebody. It’s really hard to say. I know I use a little bit of cocaine. I know I use a little bit of heroin, but I don’t have a problem. That’s an awkward statement to make. But it’s so easy with alcohol. Yeah. Because again, it’s so normalized.”

Alcohol withdrawal seizures are a severe and potentially fatal complication of alcohol dependence. They can occur when individuals with a history of heavy, prolonged alcohol use suddenly reduce or stop their consumption. This acute withdrawal can lead to a range of symptoms, including tremors, hallucinations, and seizures, as the brain struggles to rebalance itself after prolonged exposure to alcohol. Corey’s experience underscores the danger of attempting to detox from severe alcohol dependence without medical supervision. Medically assisted detox is often necessary to safely manage withdrawal symptoms and prevent life-threatening complications.

5. The Transformative Power of Self-Reflection: “Corey, You’re the Problem”

Corey’s third attempt at rehab, a brief but impactful 14-day stay, proved to be the catalyst for genuine change. It was there that a therapist delivered a jarring but ultimately liberating truth: “Cory, alcohol’s not the problem. Cory drugs are not the problem. Corey, you’re the problem.” This direct challenge forced Corey to confront the uncomfortable reality that his struggles weren’t merely external (the substances) but internal (his own behaviors, beliefs, and unaddressed emotional needs). This moment of radical self-honesty, while initially difficult to accept, marked the true beginning of his recovery journey.

This concept, that the individual, rather than the substance, is the “problem,” is central to many recovery philosophies. It shifts the focus from external blame to internal responsibility and empowerment. It recognizes that addiction is often a symptom of deeper issues, such as low self-esteem, trauma, mental health disorders, or dysfunctional coping mechanisms. True recovery involves a journey of self-discovery, introspection, and healing these underlying wounds. It requires individuals to take ownership of their choices and actively work on developing healthier ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving. This process is rarely quick; as Corey notes, “It took years to figure that out.”

6. Community Over Isolation: Finding Belonging in Recovery

Upon leaving rehab, with his mother unwilling to let him return home, Corey found himself living with his alcoholic father. The constant presence of alcohol, with his father cracking a beer at 6 AM, was a painful reminder of his past. This challenging environment propelled him to seek out Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings and volunteer at the central AA office in Lansing, Michigan. He was drawn to the “sense of peace” and “fellowship” he observed in others. “I was looking for that validation in high school. Yeah. I was looking for that validation in college and now I’m seeing that they have this group that seems to have that.”

This discovery of a supportive community was a pivotal moment. The shared experience of not wanting to drink, regardless of age, background, or substance of choice, created a powerful bond. His anecdote about reluctantly going bowling with a group of older AA members, only to experience “some of the first like heartfelt laugh” and “genuine happiness,” perfectly illustrates the transformative power of connection in recovery. This fellowship provides a sense of belonging, reduces feelings of isolation, and offers a safe space for individuals to share their struggles and triumphs without judgment. Peer support groups like AA and Narcotics Anonymous (NA) are cornerstones of recovery for millions worldwide, offering ongoing support, guidance, and accountability.

7. Beyond the Walls of Treatment: The “Rubber Meets the Road” in Real Life

Corey offers a controversial but insightful perspective on the role of inpatient treatment. While acknowledging its vital function in breaking the cycle of active addiction and providing a safe detox environment, he questions the long-term efficacy of extended stays. “I don’t find value in much more than 30 days of rehab. I just don’t… You gotta get on the streets. You can’t be sheltered for that long. Or else it becomes custom, it becomes too comfortable.” His argument is that true learning and sustained recovery occur when individuals re-enter the “real world” and learn to navigate triggers and challenges outside of a controlled environment. “That’s when the rubber beats the road. That’s when you start to… In a confined area, we do great. When we are out in the real world. Yeah. That’s a whole different ball game.”

This perspective emphasizes the critical importance of aftercare planning and continuum of care in recovery. While inpatient treatment provides a necessary foundation, it is the ongoing support, skill-building, and integration into a sober lifestyle that ultimately determine long-term success. This includes participation in outpatient programs, therapy, peer support groups, and, as Corey discovered, recovery housing. Learning to cope with cravings, manage triggers, and deal with life’s inevitable stressors without resorting to substances are skills best developed through real-world application and consistent support.

8. Rise Recovery Community: Turning Pain into Purpose

Driven by his own experiences and the recognized gap in post-treatment support, Corey, with the invaluable help of his mother, founded Rise Recovery Community in 2014 or 2015. Starting with a small apartment and a vision for a “clubhouse” where sober individuals could connect and find fellowship, Rise quickly blossomed. His mother, an accomplished financial officer, took a “gamble” on her son’s dream, eventually leaving her corporate job to become the executive director. “She really took a gamble on us. It was like me and a bunch of other alcoholics, and we’re like, we want, can you start a business with us? And she’s like, why not? Okay, yeah. Here we go.”

Today, Rise Recovery Community boasts over 70 beds, offering various levels of recovery housing, including long-term sober living apartments. They’ve established a 3000-square-foot clubhouse with amenities like pool tables, TVs, and even a “sober bar” where individuals can socialize in a safe, substance-free environment. Rise’s success is not only measured by its expansion but by its impact on the recovery landscape in Michigan, having secured one of the first recovery housing contracts with the regional Medicaid distributor. This innovative approach to providing affordable, community-based sober living environments addresses the vital need for a supportive bridge between intensive treatment and independent living.

9. “Straight Talk”: Prevention and Connection in Schools

Beyond recovery housing, Corey and Rise Recovery Community are actively involved in prevention through their “Straight Talk” program. This initiative takes them into high schools and middle schools to engage with students about real-life experiences with addiction. Rather than simply delivering a “just say no” message, Corey shares his personal story, aiming to foster connection and understanding. “Not like, Hey, drugs are bad. Don’t drink. Don’t use drugs. But it’s like, yeah, this is what I went through. I’m gonna tell you my story. If you can connect with it, then great.”

This approach to prevention is highly effective because it moves beyond didactic warnings and instead offers relatable narratives. By sharing their vulnerabilities and triumphs, individuals like Corey can demystify addiction, reduce stigma, and create a space for open dialogue with young people. It allows students to see the human face of addiction and understand the complex factors that can lead to substance use, empowering them to make informed choices and seek help if needed. Early intervention and comprehensive prevention programs are crucial for mitigating the impact of addiction on future generations.

10. The Enduring Message: Never Give Up on Recovery

Corey Warren’s journey is a powerful testament to the enduring message of hope and resilience in recovery. Despite multiple relapses, jail time, and life-threatening health complications, he never gave up. “Just never given up. I’ve had so many slips, so many relapses, so many issues along the way. I think a lot of people think that when you get in this recovery process, put a couple months a year behind you and life just smooths out. Yeah. And everything’s good. And that is so far from true.”

His honesty about the bumps in the road is vital. Recovery is not a destination but an ongoing process that requires continuous effort, self-awareness, and a strong support system. Life’s challenges don’t cease simply because one gets sober; instead, individuals learn to navigate them without the crutch of substances. Corey’s story exemplifies that even after significant setbacks, it is always possible to find a path to lasting sobriety and a life filled with purpose and joy. His work with Rise Recovery Community and the “Straight Talk” program serves as a living embodiment of turning personal pain into a powerful force for good, reminding us that at the heart of real recovery lies the profound act of helping others.

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Abbey Fickley on Overcoming Addiction and Chaos: An Inspiring Sobriety Story

Life throws curveballs, sometimes disguised as a Little Wayne concert gone awry at 16, complete with zip ties and a vibrating trailer. For Abbey Fickley, a recovery advocate, YouTuber, and inspiring voice, these early brushes with consequences were just the beginning of a much longer journey. Her story, shared on the Recoverycast podcast with Brittani Baynard, is a powerful testament to the idea that “as long as you’re breathing, you can change your life.” It’s a journey from seeking solutions in substances to embracing radical strength and authenticity in recovery.

You Are Never Too Far Gone to Change Your Life

Abbey Fickley’s core message, delivered with conviction, resonates deeply: “As long as you’re breathing, you can change your life… You cannot be too far gone to come back.” This sentiment is a beacon of hope for anyone struggling with addiction or mental health challenges. Abbey emphasizes that regardless of your past, your age, or the depth of your struggle, there is always a possibility for change. She draws on not only her own experience but also the profound transformations she’s witnessed in others within recovery communities. The worst thing that can happen, she says, is that things stay the same – so why not try for something better? This powerful affirmation underscores the idea that recovery is always within reach, offering a lifeline to those who feel lost.

Recognizing the Early Warning Signs: A Glimpse into Childhood Behavior

For Abbey, the seeds of her struggle were sown much earlier than she initially realized. It wasn’t until she got sober and actively engaged in recovery work that she could look back and identify certain behaviors from her childhood as potential indicators. While many teenagers experiment, Abbey’s experiences often carried a different weight. She recalls a moment in high school when, faced with the mundane task of cleaning her room, her first instinct was to mix Jack Daniels with Coke and drink it alone. This wasn’t her first time drinking, but it highlighted an early reliance on alcohol as a tool for productivity or escape. “To not wanna do something like clean my room and my first thought be to go pour myself an alcoholic drink as like a freshman in high school was really like a bizarre thing,” she reflects. This anecdote illustrates how early on, she began to associate substance use with feeling more capable or less burdened, a pattern that would intensify with time.

The Deceptive Comfort of Alcohol: When Party Habits Turn Problematic

Abbey’s initial forays into drinking mirrored those of many teenagers – social gatherings with friends. However, even in those early days, a distinct difference emerged. While her friends could stop when the alcohol ran out, Abbey found herself wondering why everyone was “so okay with being done for the night.” This early obsession with alcohol and the feeling it provided set her apart. She admits, “I think the obsession came from day one and it never really left me.” The social aspect was enjoyable, but the true draw was the internal shift alcohol facilitated. This desire for the feeling, rather than just the experience, was a critical distinction that foreshadowed deeper issues. As her use progressed, alcohol, while being the catalyst, eventually took a backseat when stronger substances entered her life.

Explore alcohol addiction treatment options.

The Illusion of Control: Alcohol and Early Consequences

Abbey’s journey into problematic alcohol use quickly brought consequences, highlighting her desperate need for control. She describes getting behind the wheel after drinking, an act that led to her first DUI at 21 and multiple car accidents. “One of my biggest, I don’t like to say regrets because you know, I am who I am today from it all, but my most shameful moments was getting behind the wheel.” This deeply personal admission underscores the pervasive nature of her disease, even in its early stages. Despite the severe repercussions, the underlying compulsion to be in control of her feelings and circumstances fueled these dangerous choices. These incidents, while distressing, ultimately served as early, albeit painful, indicators that her relationship with alcohol was far from normal and required intervention.

Navigating Early Attempts at Intervention: Resistance to Therapy and Authority

Abbey’s first formal encounter with help came when her dad attempted to send her to a therapist specializing in addiction. Her reaction was immediate and strong: “I was so against it. I was so annoyed. I couldn’t believe he was taking me there.” This resistance stemmed from a complete lack of acceptance about her situation. At this point, her struggles, while present, hadn’t fully escalated in a way that she perceived as needing professional intervention.

Her distrust of authority figures was further cemented by a formative experience at 16. While attending a Lil Wayne concert, she was zip-tied and detained in a trailer, missing the show. Despite her insistence that she “didn’t really do anything,” a police officer lied in court, deeply impacting her trust in authority. “I have to say that really messed me up as a kid in terms of like authority figures and trusting people.” This experience, coupled with her tendency to “always be the person that got caught” while others got away with similar behaviors, fueled a rebellious streak and a profound skepticism towards those in positions of power. While frustrating at the time, she later realized these constant consequences were a blessing in disguise, forcing her to confront her issues sooner than those who could hide their struggles.

The Unique Challenges of the “Only Child” Dynamic in a Disjointed Family

Abbey’s family life, though outwardly stable and fortunate, presented unique challenges that contributed to her coping mechanisms. Growing up as the youngest with a significant age gap between her and her older siblings, she experienced a childhood vastly different from theirs. By the time she reached her formative teenage years, her siblings had moved out, leaving her as effectively an only child in the home. During this critical period, her mother was pursuing her doctorate, leading to an emotional distance. “My mom was studying for her doctorate, honestly, when I was like a teen, probably when I needed her most.” This meant Abbey often felt isolated, witnessing her parents’ marital struggles firsthand without the buffer or understanding of her siblings.

The family’s emphasis on outward appearance over internal well-being also created a sense of hypocrisy that fueled Abbey’s rebellion. She recounts instances where her family would appear perfectly harmonious in public despite internal conflict. This disconnect taught her to project an image, a behavior she later tried to replicate in her own life. While her parents were supportive of her career choices, like going to beauty school, Abbey projected her own feelings of inadequacy onto them, believing they weren’t proud of her compared to her siblings’ academic achievements. This complex family dynamic, marked by isolation, perceived hypocrisy, and projected insecurities, pushed Abbey to seek her own “tools” and coping mechanisms, ultimately paving the way for substance use.

Motherhood as a Turning Point: The Onset of Postpartum Depression and Deeper Addiction

A pivotal shift in Abbey’s addiction trajectory occurred after the birth of her daughter at 20. She had successfully maintained sobriety throughout her pregnancy, demonstrating her capacity to stop using when motivated. However, the immense pressure of new motherhood, coupled with trying to force a “white picket fence life” with her daughter’s father, led to severe postpartum depression. “I fell into really bad postpartum depression… I didn’t understand what I was going through,” she explains.

In her search for relief, she was prescribed Xanax, a benzodiazepine, for daily use. This prescription marked the true beginning of her physical dependency and a deeper dive into addiction. Abbey vividly describes the immediate impact: “The moment I took that first benzo, every single issue I had ever experienced in my life that I was left without a solution for, for many, many years was solved in a second with a little tiny, you know, blue football shaped pill.” This experience highlights a crucial point in addiction education: it’s not just about physical dependency, but also about how substances “solve” underlying emotional and psychological pain. The immediate relief was profound, but the consequences were devastating.

Explore prescription drug addiction treatment options.

The Slippery Slope: From Prescriptions to Dangerous Escalation

The prescribed Xanax quickly became a gateway to a more severe addiction. Abbey found herself “eating them like candy,” taking multiple pills just to get through her demanding job at a high-end salon where clients were “brutal.” The sneaky nature of Xanax, where the user doesn’t fully grasp their level of intoxication, made it even more dangerous. This period culminated in her DUI, where she mixed Xanax with alcohol, a deadly combination. “I don’t remember anything,” she recounts, emphasizing the blackout nature of her intoxication. This incident, while terrifying, served as a stark warning, though not enough to stop the progression.

Her curiosity about other substances grew, leading her to Percocet 10s, which she initially swallowed. A frightening moment where she fell asleep at a family lunch after taking a Percocet was a clear “red flag” for her mother. Abbey then learned to snort pills, seeking quicker and more intense effects. The Percocet 10s escalated to Percocet 30s, which became her primary drug of choice. At this point, while the mental anguish of withdrawal was severe, she still hadn’t experienced the full physical dependency, making her situation even more insidious. The rapid escalation from prescription medication to dangerous illicit drug use underscores the powerful grip of addiction once it takes hold.

Enabling vs. Helping: The Painful Reality of Parental Boundaries

As Abbey’s addiction spiraled, her parents, despite their concern, initially continued to “fix all my mistakes.” They paid for car repairs, bought her new vehicles, and provided financial support. However, they eventually realized that their actions were enabling her addiction rather than helping her. This realization led to a crucial shift in their approach: “They stopped helping me, stopped enabling me, I should say.”

This transition was painful but necessary. Abbey faced consequences she had previously been shielded from, including multiple psych ward visits and 72-hour holds. Her parents’ decision to let her face jail time after her DUI, despite the father of her child advocating against it, highlights their desperate attempt to make her confront the severity of her actions. This struggle between enabling and setting boundaries is a common dilemma for families dealing with addiction. While difficult, the parents’ ultimate refusal to continue enabling forced Abbey to confront her reality in a way she hadn’t before, setting the stage for a critical turning point.

The Breaking Point: When Ultimatums Become Opportunities

Living with a random acquaintance, without a car, and struggling to co-parent her daughter, Abbey reached her nadir. Her addiction was fully consuming her life; she even fell asleep while washing a client’s hair at work due to Xanax use. Her parents, having exhausted all other options, delivered an ultimatum: “Go to rehab or we will have nothing to do with you.”

Initially, Abbey’s stubbornness and pride took over. She was convinced she didn’t need rehab and vowed to prove them wrong. However, the weight of her reality eventually crushed her resistance. One morning, she woke up and made the call to her mom: “Okay, fine, I’m ready.” This moment of surrender, born out of sheer exhaustion and desperation, was the critical turning point. It illustrates that for many, the path to recovery begins not with a desire for sobriety, but with an overwhelming sense of being “done” with the chaos and pain of active addiction. This acceptance of help, even under duress, became the first courageous step towards reclaiming her life.

The Power of Consequences: A Blessing in Disguise

Throughout her narrative, Abbey consistently reflects on the role of consequences in her journey. While she initially envied those who could “get away with things,” she later realized that her inability to escape the repercussions of her actions was a profound blessing. “Facing consequences forced me to turn my life around.” Unlike those who continued to suffer in silence, her repeated arrests, DUIs, and psych ward visits, though painful, served as unavoidable calls to action. These experiences pushed her to confront her addiction and seek help when others might have remained hidden in their disease. This perspective transformation highlights a crucial aspect of recovery: sometimes, the very things we initially resent or resist are the catalysts for our greatest growth and transformation. Abbey’s story is a powerful reminder that sometimes, getting caught can set you free.

In Abbey’s Fickley’s journey, we see the intricate web of addiction, from its subtle beginnings in childhood coping mechanisms to its full-blown manifestation fueled by postpartum depression and readily available substances. Her story is a testament to the fact that addiction doesn’t discriminate, affecting individuals from all backgrounds. More importantly, it is a beacon of hope, illustrating that no matter how deep one sinks into the throes of addiction, recovery is always possible. Her experiences underscore the critical importance of self-awareness, the impact of family dynamics, and the transformative power of reaching a personal breaking point. As Abbey so powerfully states, “as long as you’re breathing, there is a chance.”

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From Jail to the Olympics: Tony Hoffman’s 5 Lessons on Finding Balance and Redemption

The journey from the depths of despair to the pinnacle of success is a testament to the human spirit’s resilience. For Tony Hoffman, a former pro BMX athlete and now a nationally recognized speaker and recovery advocate, this journey took him from a prison cell to coaching at the Olympics. His story, shared on the Recovery Cast podcast, is a powerful reminder that redemption is not only possible but can also ignite a profound sense of purpose.

“I’ve been to some pretty low places, and I’ve been able to bounce back from that and get to some pretty high places,” Tony shares. “But none of that really matters. For me, it’s a balance. The most important thing I think that we can achieve in life is just feeling balanced. Like we know where we are is exactly where we’re supposed to be, but you have to do work to get there.”

Tony’s experiences highlight crucial lessons about mental health, addiction, the impact of childhood trauma, and the societal pressures that can lead individuals down destructive paths. His journey emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, seeking support, and understanding the deeper roots of one’s struggles.

1. The Unexpected Path to Passion and Pressure

Tony Hoffman’s initial foray into sports was accidental. Kicked out of school in seventh grade for selling weed, he found himself removed from his first love, basketball. His brother was racing BMX, and urged by his parents, Tony joined him at the track. Coming from a family with a background in racing—his father was a professional motocross racer—Tony quickly discovered a natural aptitude for BMX.

“When I picked up a bike, it was kind of like, you know, carpenters produced carpenters,” Tony recalls. “And my dad being a racer, produced racers. Me and my brother both picked up the idea of how to race, uh, really easily. And before I knew it, I was, um, one of the best in the country.” By his senior year of high school, he was on the cover of BMX Racing Magazine, ranked number one in the country.

Despite his immense talent and success, Tony didn’t necessarily love the sport itself. Like many professional athletes, he pursued it because he was good at it and didn’t see other viable options. Growing up in a town that celebrated sports and produced numerous high-level athletes, Tony simply followed the expected path. However, internal struggles and societal pressures began to intensify as he approached adulthood.

This early success in BMX, while seemingly positive, also presented unique challenges. The pressure to perform and the expectations from others began to clash with Tony’s internal desire for normalcy. He felt isolated despite being surrounded by teammates and coaches, especially in team sports like basketball where he was pushed into a leadership role he didn’t want. This internal conflict set the stage for later struggles.

2. The Weight of Isolation and Unmet Emotional Needs

Tony’s struggles with mental health began long before his professional athletic career. He describes his middle school years as a period of intense emotional difficulty, marked by impulsive decisions and a burgeoning sense of isolation. A pivotal moment he identified in therapy years later was his father’s frequent absence from his basketball games, despite promises to attend.

“My father was a workaholic and this was a big breakthrough I had in my therapy session, probably about eight years into therapy, which was kind of how I came to know my origin story of where this all started and how it really became what it was about to become,” Tony explains. “My father was a workaholic and he wasn’t around much. He was always at work… When my father was absent from these games, after he would tell me that he was pro, he would promise me that he was gonna show up to these games. It left me feeling more isolated, more alone, but more heavily confused.”

This feeling of being alone in a “boxing ring” without anyone in his corner deeply affected young Tony. He questioned why he had to endure such experiences when other children seemed to have more supportive presences in their lives. This perceived abandonment led to a profound disconnection from the world and a belief that if his own parents didn’t care, there was no reason for him to care either. This mindset manifested in rebellious behavior at school, where he disregarded authority figures.

The lack of understanding from adults around him exacerbated these feelings. While coaches and teachers saw his potential, they often failed to look beyond his outward behavior to the underlying emotional turmoil. Tony reflects on a conversation with his sixth-grade basketball coach, who, years later, asked what he could have done differently. Tony acknowledged that in a time when mental health was not widely understood, it was difficult. However, he suggested that understanding the root of his behavior and finding ways to engage him as a leader that met him where he was, rather than imposing expectations, could have made a difference.

This period solidified his “lone wolf” mentality, a coping mechanism that initially served him well in individual sports like BMX, where success depended solely on him. However, this deeply ingrained belief that it was “me against the world” would later contribute to his downfall when faced with the complexities of adult life.

3. The Lure of Escape: From Sleep to Substance Use

As Tony approached high school graduation, the societal pressure to choose a career path became overwhelming. He knew he didn’t want to go to college, struggling in traditional academic settings. He secured a job opportunity as a network administrator in San Diego, a self-taught skill developed partly due to his social anxiety and desire to be alone. This decision meant abandoning his BMX career, even foregoing the final race where he was ranked number one nationally.

This “limbo period” between high school and his new job proved to be a dangerous void. He lost his “tribe” at the BMX races – the empowering group of people who provided connection. Without this support system and with his existing struggles with suicidal ideation, anxiety, and depression, he began to self-destruct.

“Everything was laid out that this wasn’t gonna go the right way,” Tony reflects. “Because I didn’t have any type of conversation. I didn’t have any vulnerable spaces… I started going to parties ’cause that’s what every other senior was doing.”

His initial coping mechanism for his emotional pain was sleep. “Sleep was the first drug I ever took,” Tony states. “It stopped the suicidal thoughts. It stopped anxiety and was removed the weight of depression.” However, waking up brought a fresh wave of missed opportunities, responsibilities, and emotional disruption.

Then came Oxycontin. Tony describes it as “like sleep, but I could be awake.” The drug offered the same relief from his internal torment, but allowed him to participate in life. In the beginning, it seemed like a solution, enabling him to navigate social situations and fulfill obligations with a newfound sense of “balance” and happiness he believed others possessed effortlessly.

“Oxycontin was the first time I felt like, okay, I can actually be a part of life,” he explains. “Then there was the confusion of why can’t I just get the doctors to prescribe me this?”

This desire for an “effect” that brought temporary peace quickly spiraled. Within three years, Tony went from a nationally ranked athlete with a promising career to committing a home invasion robbery for Oxycontin. The adrenaline and risk-taking involved in his BMX career, he now realizes, mirrored the rush he felt while engaging in criminal activities, highlighting the dangerous connection between unaddressed emotional needs and destructive behaviors.

Find treatment for prescription drug addiction.

4. The Societal Stigma and Misunderstanding of Addiction

Tony’s story also sheds light on the prevailing societal attitudes toward mental health and addiction, particularly in the early 2000s. Depression was often dismissed as laziness, and suicidal thoughts in teenagers were frequently brushed off as attention-seeking. This lack of understanding prevented genuine support and intervention.

“People depressed was like a get up, quit being lazy,” Tony recounts the common sentiment. “A teenager that says they want to kill themselves is just looking for attention. Oh, wow. I know. I hate to break it to you. A healthy teenager doesn’t use suicide as a way to get attention.”

This pervasive stigma meant that when Tony’s behavior shifted – like excessive sleeping or drug use – those around him often reacted with judgment rather than concern. Friends began to distance themselves, and the concept of offering genuine emotional support was largely absent from the cultural narrative. While some of his friends were worried about his drug dealing, their concern often stemmed from the impact he was having on their community rather than a deep understanding of his personal struggle.

The “lone wolf” mentality he developed in his youth further isolated him, making him unreceptive to any attempts at intervention. He saw himself as self-sufficient, even as his life spiraled out of control. This highlights a critical point: addiction is not simply a moral failing but often a complex interplay of genetic predispositions, environmental factors, and unaddressed trauma. Early intervention and a compassionate approach, focused on understanding the “why” behind the behavior, are crucial.

5. Finding Balance and Purpose Through Recovery

Tony Hoffman’s journey to recovery began in prison, where he started the difficult process of self-reflection and soul-searching. He realized that elements of his past, particularly the individualism and self-reliance he developed in BMX, could be harnessed for positive change. These aspects, which once contributed to his isolation, could now be sources of strength and confidence.

His transformation from incarceration to coaching at the Olympics is a powerful narrative of what is possible with dedication and the right tools. He has since founded pH Wellness, a treatment center, and the Free Will Project, organizations dedicated to equipping individuals and communities to confront addiction, stigma, and trauma.

Tony’s emphasis on balance is a recurring theme in his philosophy. It’s not about achieving external accolades or financial success alone, but about finding internal peace and knowing “where we are is exactly where we’re supposed to be.” This balance requires significant “work” – introspection, therapy, and a willingness to confront difficult truths about oneself and one’s past.

His story reinforces the idea that true healing involves addressing the underlying emotional pain and trauma that often fuel addiction. By understanding why he sought escape in sleep and then in drugs, Tony could begin to dismantle the destructive patterns that had governed his life.

The concept of redemption in Tony’s story is not about erasing the past but about transforming it into a source of strength and purpose. His experiences, no matter how dark, now serve as a beacon of hope for others struggling with similar challenges. He uses his platform to advocate for a more empathetic and informed approach to mental health and addiction, urging society to move beyond judgment and towards understanding and support.

Tony Hoffman’s journey from a troubled youth to an Olympic coach and recovery champion is a powerful testament to the resilience of the human spirit. It underscores the critical need for early intervention, mental health awareness, and compassionate support systems that empower individuals to find their balance, reclaim their lives, and ultimately, spark purpose from their pain.

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Roger’s Road to Recovery: 7+ Ways Hope Can Overpower Addiction

On this episode of the Giving Voice to Addiction Podcast, we sit down with Roger, a man who has not only navigated the treacherous waters of addiction but has emerged with a profound message of hope and resilience. Roger’s story is a testament to the human spirit’s capacity to overcome immense challenges, offering invaluable insights for anyone struggling with addiction or supporting a loved one through it.

1. The Overpowering Force of Hope: A Counter to Addiction’s Grip

Addiction often feels like an insurmountable force, an overpowering entity that leaves individuals feeling trapped and hopeless. However, Roger’s journey reveals a crucial truth: hope can be an even more potent force. For those entrenched in the depths of addiction, the very concept of hope can seem elusive, a forgotten dream. Yet, Roger, having lived through decades of active addiction and trauma, emphasizes its transformative power. He states, “It’s possible. It’s possible to find hope, and it’s possible that that hope can overpower everything that tries to stop us, and we can move towards the life that we’re trying to have.“

This isn’t a naive optimism but a hard-won conviction born from personal experience. Roger understands that addiction often leads to a sense of undeserving suffering, a belief that one is inherently flawed and destined for failure. He candidly shares his own past struggles with mental health and suicidal ideation, revealing that he once believed, “My addiction, my poor mental health, my time messing around with suicide. It’s a lie. I’m worth something. And for a long time I didn’t think I was.” This realization, that one’s worth is not diminished by addiction, is a cornerstone of true recovery.

The idea of standing “a millimeter taller” than one’s pain is a powerful metaphor Roger uses to illustrate the incremental victories in recovery. It signifies that even the smallest shift in perspective or effort can create a foothold, a spark of possibility that can ignite a larger transformation. This resonates deeply with the understanding that recovery is not a single event but a continuous process of small, deliberate steps.

2. Unpacking a Lifetime of Trauma and Addiction

Roger’s narrative is a stark reminder that addiction rarely exists in a vacuum. His story begins at a tender age, with his mother’s incarceration due to mental health issues when he was just four, followed by her subsequent homelessness. This early exposure to instability and profound loss laid a fertile ground for trauma. He began using drugs at 12, a rapid escalation from marijuana to speed, acid, and cocaine within a year. For Roger, drugs were initially a form of self-medication, a perceived source of comfort and safety in a chaotic world. He describes them as “my mother and my father all at the same time. It was comfort, nature, nurture. It was an escape. It was warm, especially when I started shooting heroin. It was warm, felt good. It was safe until it tried to kill me.“

The allure of drug dealing, though dangerous, provided a perverse sense of purpose and engagement that was otherwise lacking. This highlights how addiction can fulfill unmet needs, even in destructive ways. However, this illusion of safety and purpose eventually shattered. The constant threat of violence, including having a gun to his head multiple times, coupled with a cocaine overdose, signaled a turning point. The realization that his lifestyle was not only endangering himself but also his innocent family members became a powerful motivator for change. “Now I’m putting other people at risk,” he recalls, a clear indication that his addiction’s reach extended far beyond himself.

The journey to discontinue drug use was not immediate but a five-year “de-escalation,” starting with breaking free from the needle and gradually tapering off harder substances. This gradual process underscores that recovery is often a marathon, not a sprint, requiring sustained effort and commitment.

3. The Power of a Vision: Turning Point to Recovery

One of the most profound catalysts for Roger’s initial sobriety was a vivid dream of his own funeral, where he witnessed the devastation it wrought on his father and sister. This dream, coupled with a subsequent “day vision,” solidified his resolve to change. “I had a dream and the dream was my funeral. Then I looked around the funeral scene and I saw my dad and my middle sister, who I’m very close with, and they were just wrecked.” This powerful emotional experience transcended his love for being high, offering a clear and devastating consequence of continuing his path. It shifted his motivation from self-preservation to protecting those he loved.

This deeply personal turning point illustrates that while external pressures can play a role, true and lasting change often stems from an internal shift in values and priorities. Roger’s decision was not driven by a desire to simply stop using, but by a profound realization of the impact his addiction had on his loved ones.

After finally quitting drugs, Roger channeled his addictive tendencies into a new, healthier pursuit: professional mountain biking. While this brought its own set of challenges, including head injuries, it was a significantly less destructive path than his previous drug use. This demonstrates the concept of addiction transfer, where individuals in recovery might replace one addictive behavior with another. While not ideal, it can sometimes be a stepping stone towards healthier coping mechanisms, provided it doesn’t lead to equally destructive outcomes.

4. The Continuous Journey: Sobriety, Clean Time, and Recovery

Roger’s commitment to his recovery is evident in his meticulous counting of clean time: “36 years, one month, and four days.” This unwavering awareness of his sobriety date is not a burden but a source of strength, a tangible representation of his dedication. He explains, “I have to count the days. The days give me strength if I let myself go, I’d be dead tonight because if I’m gonna give up that time, I’m going all the way.” This highlights the ever-present temptation for those in recovery and the importance of recognizing the significant investment made in staying clean.

However, Roger’s journey also includes a relapse with alcohol after his first divorce, underscoring that recovery is not a linear path. Despite being clean from drugs for 15 years, the emotional devastation of his divorce led him to heavy alcohol use, consuming a fifth of tequila daily and later two to three bottles of wine. This period of alcohol abuse lasted five years. His experience demonstrates that past sobriety from one substance doesn’t grant immunity from addiction to others, especially during periods of intense emotional distress.

His eventual cessation of alcohol came after a work trip in Spain where he drank himself unconscious and missed a flight, followed by his second wife being hospitalized for alcohol poisoning. This dual crisis, coupled with the realization of the impact on their three young children, spurred him and his wife to quit drinking together. This collective decision highlights the power of shared commitment and accountability in recovery, especially when children are involved. Roger now differentiates between his “clean” time from drugs and his “sober” time from alcohol, emphasizing that true recovery encompasses addressing all addictive behaviors and underlying issues. He states, “I’m 14 years sober. 14 years, and 21 days, April 17th. So I count that too.”

5. Beyond Abstinence: The Essence of True Recovery

For Roger, being “clean” and “sober” is distinct from being “in recovery.” His past experience with suicidal ideation, even years after achieving drug sobriety, revealed that abstinence alone isn’t enough. He discovered that his suicidal thoughts were a side effect of antidepressant medication, emphasizing the complex interplay between mental health and substance use. Roger’s current recovery hinges on a structured life built on connection, engagement, and introspection. Living in a cabin in the woods without internet, cell service, or TV forces him to actively seek human connection. He elaborates, “I need structure. I need engagement. I need connection… I have to consciously get outta the house every day, or it puts me in trouble. But that connection is key for me and facing my truth.“

This active pursuit of connection and self-awareness through journaling, writing, and maintaining relationships with friends and family is central to his ongoing well-being. He also finds purpose in mentoring others, understanding that helping others strengthens his own resolve. This highlights the altruistic nature of recovery, where sharing one’s experience can create a virtuous cycle of support.

6. Understanding Addiction from the Family’s Perspective

Addiction’s ripple effect extends far beyond the individual, deeply impacting families who often grapple with immense pain, confusion, and a desperate desire to help. Roger offers crucial insights for families struggling to understand their loved one’s addiction. He emphasizes that judgmental attitudes towards behavior miss the underlying suffering. “For many people there is a mental health component that goes along with substance abuse. And more than anything, I think as a people, as humanity, we’re quick to judge the behavior. The behavior is the person people think. It’s not that person’s in trouble. That person’s hurting.“

This distinction between the person and their behavior is fundamental to fostering empathy and effective support. Roger advises families to “love the person no matter what” while simultaneously establishing healthy boundaries. He acknowledges the fine line between tough love and enabling, urging understanding that individuals, even in addiction, are often doing what they believe is best, however misguided it may seem.

Roger asserts that genuine change must come from within: “If we want to go to rehab, we have to want to go to rehab. If we want to quit, we have to want to quit.” This speaks to the limitations of external pressure and the necessity of internal motivation. His personal experience of his mother’s homelessness serves as a poignant example of how societal judgment can dehumanize individuals struggling with addiction and mental illness, reminding us that “that’s somebody’s mother. That’s somebody’s sister. That’s somebody’s kid.”

7. The Role of Support and the Evolution of Treatment

While Roger’s journey was largely self-directed due to the limited resources available at the time, he acknowledges the critical role support plays. He recalls how two close friends intervened when he was desperate to quit the needle, physically preventing him from using and offering unwavering support. “I just told ’em, this is my life and this is how I’m gonna die. I was crying and they said, well, we’re gonna help you.” This demonstrates the profound impact of genuine care and intervention when an individual is ready to receive it. His move to Colorado, away from the triggers of Baltimore, also provided a crucial “break” from his active addiction.

Roger’s early attempt to seek professional help was met with a devastating response: “What’s your insurance? I don’t have any. And they’re like, sorry, we can’t help you.” This highlights the significant barriers to treatment that existed in the past, particularly for those without financial means. It underscores the vital progress made in the addiction treatment landscape, with increased access to resources like harm reduction strategies, needle exchange programs, and a greater emphasis on integrated care for co-occurring mental health disorders. While Roger didn’t attend his first 12-Step meeting until six years ago, he now recognizes their immense value: “They are helpful ’cause it’s a community that you don’t find elsewhere. You need people that can accept you as you are.”

8. Roger’s Enduring Message of Possibility

Roger’s ultimate message is one of unwavering hope and the boundless possibilities of change. He implores anyone struggling to believe in the potential for a different future: “It is possible. It’s possible for something else. It’s possible for change. Change is actually a given.” He challenges the ingrained cynicism and self-deprecating labels that often accompany addiction, such as “loser, low life piece of shit, junky, alcoholic, dropout.” Roger powerfully asserts, “No matter our worst behavior, we’re more than that. We can be anything we wanna be. We can start over every single morning.”

His call to action is simple yet profound: “Just get started. Try to try start there.” This emphasis on taking the first, often daunting, step resonates with anyone facing a significant challenge. Roger’s journey from a childhood marred by trauma and a devastating 13-year drug addiction to a life of profound purpose and continuous recovery is a powerful testament to the fact that even in the darkest moments, possibility exists.

Roger’s story is a beacon of hope for countless individuals. It underscores that recovery is a complex, non-linear journey often intertwined with trauma and mental health challenges. Yet, with internal motivation, external support, and an unwavering belief in the possibility of change, individuals can not only overcome addiction but also build lives of purpose and profound meaning. His message is a powerful reminder that “you’re beautiful. I love you, and you can do it. I know it. Absolutely know it. ‘Cause it is possible.”

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Honesty’s 8 Lessons to Thrive in Opioid Addiction Recovery

Honesty’s life before finding recovery from a debilitating opioid use disorder, specifically heroin, was a relentless cycle of physical agony from daily withdrawal, deeply fractured bonds with loved ones, and a desperate descent into criminal activity driven by the insatiable need for drugs. The weight of self-hatred was crushing, and the world around her felt hostile. In those dark days, the desire for oblivion was a constant companion. This is the story of Honesty’s journey and the profound lessons that illuminated her path to recovery.

1. A Glimmer of Hope and the Unexpected Lifeline

Honesty’s final attempt at seeking help felt like precisely that – her last chance. Entering the doors of the Chen Foundation, her initial intention was solely to endure the acute discomfort of detoxification and then leave. However, fate intervened, or perhaps it was an unconscious recognition of a deeper need, leading her to stay in their female recovery house for five transformative months.

Within those walls, she encountered an unexpected source of strength: the profound “peer-to-peer connection” forged with other women who intimately understood the torment of addiction. Sharing their experiences created a bond that became an essential lifeline.

Explore treatment options for heroin and opioid use disorder.

2. Finding Her Footing and the Enduring Power of Connection

In the initial, fragile days of recovery, Honesty’s primary focus was a primal one: navigating each day without succumbing to the debilitating grip of withdrawal. This immediate need for physical relief was what initially tethered her to the recovery process.

However, it was the burgeoning relationships with fellow travelers on this path – both women and men who carried the weight of shared lived experiences with addiction – that truly solidified her commitment. These connections offered understanding, validation, and a sense of not being alone in a seemingly insurmountable struggle.

3. The Gift of Giving Back and Discovering Purpose

As Honesty progressed in her recovery, a compelling inner prompting arose – the desire to extend the support she had received to others still navigating the challenging early stages. This innate drive to help led her to work for the very Recovery Community Organization (RCO) that had played such a pivotal role in her own healing. Through the act of service, by offering a hand to those still reaching, she began to uncover a deeper sense of purpose and the “pretty awesome” person she was capable of becoming.

4. The Profound Inner Journey: Cultivating Self-Love and Embracing Healing

Sustaining recovery has been an intricate process for Honesty, with the cornerstone being the cultivation of self-love. This journey inward has demanded that she learn to extend compassion and forgiveness towards herself, to confront and heal the deep-seated wounds of past traumas, and to acknowledge the profound pain she inflicted on her daughter, her family, and the broader community. It has been about a fundamental rediscovery, about “really digging into the inner core of the human being that [she] was meant to be on this planet,” stripping away the layers of addiction to reveal her authentic self.

5. Creating a Supportive Environment and Nurturing the Soul Through Daily Rituals

Maintaining her recovery necessitates a conscious effort for Honesty to cultivate a supportive and nurturing environment. This includes actively surrounding herself with “amazing women in recovery” who offer understanding and encouragement, immersing herself in the wisdom found in “lots of books, lots of podcasts, lots of step work,” and intentionally incorporating daily rituals that nourish her soul.

Practices such as meditation, the reflective act of journaling, and consistent engagement in self-care activities are not mere habits; they are vital threads in the tapestry of her ongoing commitment to “continually working on her soul.”

6. A Life Transformed and the Immeasurable Value of Her Present

Looking back nearly 18 years, the life Honesty now inhabits as a mother, a wife, the CEO of a nonprofit organization, and an author is almost beyond the realm of what her addicted self could have conceived. The crushing weight of self-loathing has been replaced by a genuine and growing sense of self-acceptance and love. The life she has painstakingly built, interwoven with the love of her husband, the support of her family, and the camaraderie of incredible individuals, is now immeasurably precious.

The insidious pull of drug use has faded, not merely as a conscious choice, but because the vibrant and fulfilling life she now lives far outweighs any fleeting illusion it once offered. “I value this one life that I have and it rocks. It completely rocks.”

7. The Imperative of Perseverance: Holding Onto Hope and Taking Action

For anyone currently grappling with the agonizing realities of active addiction or navigating the often-turbulent waters of early recovery, Honesty’s most fundamental piece of advice is this: “just hold on, never give up on yourself.” Even in the darkest moments when self-loathing feels all-consuming, it is absolutely crucial to cling to the inherent worth that resides within you and to persistently explore different pathways to recovery. “For sure don’t give up on yourself. Just keep trying, you know, and you are loved no matter what.”

8. Embracing the Fear of the Unknown and Exploring Diverse Paths to Healing

The apprehension and fear associated with embarking on the journey of recovery are entirely understandable. Honesty’s own path was marked by numerous attempts, including multiple detoxifications, trials with various medications, explorations of faith-based approaches, and engagement with 12-Step programs and traditional therapy, before she discovered the specific combination that resonated with her: the structure of a 12-step program coupled with the unwavering support of the recovery community, particularly within a peer-run RCO.

However, it is vital to remember that “that doesn’t have to be your story.” The key is to take that initial step, to “just try something…on a day-to-day basis.” Explore the diverse landscape of recovery options, whether it be 12-Step fellowships, SMART Recovery, harm reduction strategies, or other modalities, until you find the path that aligns with your individual needs and resonates with your inner self.

Honesty’s journey from the abyss of opioid addiction to a life brimming with purpose, profound love, and genuine self-acceptance has been a challenging yet ultimately transformative odyssey. It stands as a testament to the indomitable power of human perseverance, the vital importance of community and peer support, and the unwavering belief in one’s own inherent potential for profound healing and lasting recovery. Recovery is not a distant dream; it is an attainable reality, and you are never truly alone on this path.

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The 12 Most Dangerous Drugs in the World

If someone is overdosing, call 911, or your local emergency services number, immediately. If you are qualified, administer CPR. Use Naloxone (Narcan) if available.

Dangerous substances like heroin, cocaine, and methamphetamine are known not just for their immediate effects but for how quickly they can lead to addiction, wreaking havoc on one’s body; however, mental health effects can be as equally severe. In most cases, addiction co-occurs with mental health issues like depression1 or can cause the onset of others, like psychosis. 

The unpredictability of dangerous drugs adds another layer of risk. Often, these substances are mixed with other harmful or deadly chemicals, especially in unregulated street sales.

Recognizing these dangers is vital for not just those directly at risk but for society as a whole. And awareness isn’t just about scare tactics—it’s about equipping people with the knowledge they need to make informed choices, and to understand that one experiment can turn into a life-altering struggle.

1. Heroin

Heroin is considered one of the most dangerous and addictive drugs2 in the world due to its powerful effects on both the brain and body. Heroin acts as a depressant on the central nervous system3, slowing down critical bodily functions such as breathing and heart rate. The drug can be injected, smoked, or snorted, and each method of use comes with its own set of health risks, such as infections like HIV and organ damage. Heroin also damages the brain through deterioration of white matter4, negatively impacting decision-making skills, emotional and behavioral regulation, and stress tolerance. 

Heroin is notorious for being highly addictive. When a person uses heroin, the drug rapidly crosses the blood-brain barrier, creating a euphoric rush by binding to opioid receptors in the brain. This intense pleasure, as well as harmful withdrawal symptoms, reinforces the desire to use the drug again, leading to repeated use. 

Heroin users also have a high overdose risk since it’s often mixed with potent substances like fentanyl. Fentanyl-laced heroin has led to a significant spike in overdose deaths5, as users often don’t know they are ingesting such a potent drug. Even a small amount of fentanyl can cause immediate death. 

2. Alcohol

Alcohol, while legal and widely consumed across the world, is one of the most dangerous and commonly misused substances6. It has a perilous long-term impact on physical and mental health, has the potential for addiction, and causes societal harm. Because alcohol is so deeply embedded in many cultures and social practices, its risks are often underestimated, but it remains a major public health issue worldwide.

Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant7, impairing brain function, motor skills, and judgment in the short term and ultimately leading to adverse changes in mental health. Excessive drinking can also lead to dangerous behaviors like impaired driving, risky sexual activity, and violence. 

Alcohol affects vital organs8, including the brain, liver, gastrointestinal system, cardiovascular system, and kidneys. Additionally, alcohol is a cancer-causing agent9 directly associated with multiple forms of cancer, including liver, breast, colon, mouth, throat, and more. 

3. Fentanyl

Fentanyl is one of the most potent and dangerous opioids in the world, and it has played a significant role in the ongoing opioid crisis. Initially developed for medical use, fentanyl is a synthetic opioid that is 50 to 100 times more potent than morphine and about 50 times stronger than heroin10. Doctors can prescribe it in specific cases to manage severe pain, particularly for cancer patients or those recovering from major surgeries. When used under medical supervision, fentanyl can be effective, but its extraordinary potency and widespread illegal use have made it incredibly lethal outside controlled settings.

Due to its strength, even a very small dose can suppress breathing to the point of being fatal. This risk is amplified in street fentanyl, which is often mixed with other drugs like heroin or cocaine without the user’s knowledge, dramatically increasing the risk of accidental overdose. The amount of fentanyl required to cause an overdose is so small that just a few milligrams—equivalent to a few grains of salt—can be deadly.

The widespread availability of illicit fentanyl has had devastating effects on communities, contributing significantly to the opioid overdose epidemic. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), synthetic opioids like fentanyl are now the leading cause of overdose deaths11, surpassing those caused by prescription opioids and heroin.

4. Cocaine

Cocaine is a powerful stimulant drug derived from the leaves of the coca plant in South America. Cocaine is highly addictive, as the intense craving and quickly developed tolerance make it difficult to quit. This tolerance often leads to higher doses and more frequent use, which significantly increases the risk of overdose. 

Cocaine overdoses are often fatal, especially when the drug is combined with other substances, such as alcohol or opioids. The combination of cocaine and heroin, known as a “speedball,” is hazardous, as the opposing effects of the two drugs can cause respiratory failure and death. 

Cocaine use also significantly increases the risk of heart attacks12, strokes, and arrhythmias, as it raises heart rate and blood pressure while constricting blood vessels. Even young, healthy individuals risk sudden death from heart complications after using cocaine. 

In addition to cardiovascular issues, cocaine can cause long-term damage to the brain, leading to cognitive impairments, memory loss, and an increased risk of strokes and seizures. Chronic users often develop mental health issues, including paranoia, hallucinations, and psychosis.

5. Methamphetamine

Methamphetamine, commonly known as meth, is a synthetic drug related to amphetamines13 but with more intense and longer-lasting effects on the central nervous system. Meth can be smoked, injected, snorted, or swallowed. These consumption methods make meth particularly dangerous, as they deliver enormous amounts of the drug into the bloodstream, amplifying the risk of addiction and overdose.

Meth’s impact on the body is both immediate and catastrophic14, leaving visible consequences over time. Users experience heart attacks, strokes, and arrhythmias, as well as “meth mouth”—or severe dental decay. Methamphetamine often causes users to compulsively pick and scratch at their skin, leaving sores and scars.

Mentally, methamphetamine use has devastating implications. The drug creates intense psychological dependence due to its powerful effects on the brain’s reward system, leading to addiction after just a few uses. Chronic users often experience severe paranoia, hallucinations, and psychosis. Eventually, meth can cause permanent cognitive damage, including memory loss, difficulty concentrating, and poor decision-making.

6. Benzodiazepines

Benzodiazepines, also known as “benzos,” are a class of drugs primarily prescribed for anxiety, insomnia, seizures, and other conditions. While Xanax, Valium, Ativan, and Klonopin are highly effective in treating short-term anxiety or helping with sleep disorders, they carry significant risks, especially when misused or taken over a long period of time. The soothing effects that make benzodiazepines helpful also make them dangerous, as they can lead to physical dependence, psychological addiction, and potentially life-threatening withdrawal symptoms.

When used regularly over a period of weeks or months, the brain begins to rely on the drug to maintain its calm state15, and natural GABA production (a neurotransmitter) is reduced. This dependence can happen even when the medication is taken exactly as prescribed. If the person tries to reduce their dose or stop taking the drug abruptly, they can experience intense withdrawal symptoms.

Benzodiazepine withdrawal is severe and can be life-threatening. Unlike some other drug withdrawals, which can be intensely uncomfortable but not fatal, stopping benzodiazepines suddenly after prolonged use can lead to serious complications such as seizures, delirium, hallucinations, and psychosis16. Common withdrawal symptoms also include extreme anxiety, panic attacks, muscle pain, insomnia, and agitation. It is vital to detox from benzos under medical care.

7. Crack Cocaine

Crack cocaine is a highly addictive and potent form of cocaine that appears as solid “rocks.” The user smokes the crack rocks, delivering an immediate and intense high that is more potent than snorting powdered cocaine but far shorter in duration. 

The stimulant properties of crack cause a dramatic increase in heart rate and blood pressure, putting immense strain on the heart and blood vessels. This can lead to serious conditions such as heart attacks, strokes, and permanent heart damage17. Smoking crack also causes lung damage18, leading to chronic bronchitis, persistent coughing, and respiratory infections. In more severe cases, long-term crack use can result in acute respiratory distress, which can be life-threatening.

Chronic crack cocaine use can lead to seizures and permanent cognitive disabilities18, such as memory loss, difficulty concentrating, and impaired decision-making. Over time, many users experience lasting brain function alterations, which can leave them struggling with basic cognitive tasks. Crack cocaine also leads to anxiety, paranoia, and psychosis.

8. Synthetic Cannabinoids

Synthetic cannabinoids, often marketed under names like “Spice,” “K2,” “Black Mamba,” or “Cloud 9,” are man-made chemicals designed to mimic the effects of THC found in marijuana19. These substances are typically sprayed onto plant material and smoked, or they can be sold as a liquid for vaporizing. 

While synthetic cannabinoids are sometimes advertised as a “legal” or “safe” alternative to marijuana, they are anything but. In fact, synthetic cannabinoids are among the most unpredictable and dangerous drugs20 in circulation today. They can cause extreme reactions that are vastly different from natural cannabis, posing serious risks to both mental and physical health.

Synthetic cannabinoids are extremely potent—which significantly increases the risk of overdose and severe reactions. Unregulated production causes some batches to contain highly concentrated chemicals while others may be weaker. 

The chemical formulations of synthetic cannabinoids are ever-changing—meaning that one batch of “Spice” or “K2” may contain entirely different chemicals than another, making it impossible to predict how the drug will affect the user. In many cases, the effects of synthetic cannabinoids are much more intense and dangerous than natural cannabis, often leading to severe health problems that can result in hospitalization or even death.

9. Prescription Opioids

Prescription opioids are a class of powerful pain-relieving medications prescribed for pain following surgery, injury, or in the treatment of chronic conditions like cancer. These medications, including oxycodone (OxyContin), hydrocodone (Vicodin), morphine, and fentanyl, come with significant risks, like the potential for addiction, overdose, and health complications. Their widespread availability and misuse play a central role in the opioid crisis, as well.

Sometimes, people misuse prescription drugs by taking higher doses than prescribed, using them without a prescription, or continuing to use them after their medical need has passed. This can quickly lead to dependence, causing withdrawal symptoms—such as anxiety, nausea, muscle aches, and intense cravings21—when they stop taking the drug.

10. PCP (Phencyclidine)

Phencyclidine, or PCP, is a powerful dissociative drug initially developed as an anesthetic for medical use, though it is no longer in practice due to its severe and unpredictable psychological effects. Today, PCP is a street drug used for dissociation, hallucinations, and altering perception, leading to violent behavior, self-harm, and life-threatening health consequences. PCP is typically sold as a white crystalline powder, though it is often found in liquid or tablet form. It can be smoked, snorted, ingested, or injected. It is sometimes sprayed on marijuana or tobacco and smoked.

PCP can cause severe psychological disturbances22, even at low doses. Users experience paranoia, delusions, aggression, and psychosis, contributing to long-term memory loss and cognitive decline. Some people slip into permanent psychosis, which may require long-term psychiatric treatment.

11. MDMA (Ecstasy)

MDMA, commonly known as ecstasy or molly, is a synthetic drug that alters mood and perception. Despite its reputation as a party drug, MDMA carries significant risks. In the long-term, MDMA causes serious damage to the brain’s serotonin system23 and has potential neurotoxic effects. Because MDMA releases large amounts of serotonin, frequent use can deplete the brain’s natural reserves of this neurotransmitter, leading to issues with mood regulation, memory, and cognition over time. 

MDMA is typically used in recreational settings and in conjunction with other substances, so it can be cut with other chemicals, such as fentanyl, methamphetamine, and caffeine. These substances can significantly alter the effects of MDMA, leading to more dangerous outcomes like overdose, extreme agitation, or psychosis. 

12. Ketamine

Ketamine is a dissociative anesthetic that has been used in both medical and recreational settings for decades. While ketamine has legitimate medical uses, when misused it can cause physical harm, psychological effects, and addiction. 

Ketamine is widely used as a recreational drug, and in these settings, ketamine is typically snorted or taken in pill form. Frequent ketamine use can lead to bladder and kidney damage, including ketamine-induced cystitis24, a condition characterized by inflammation and damage to the bladder. It can also cause memory problems, difficulty concentrating, and impaired cognitive function.

Similarly to MDMA, ketamine can be mixed with other dangerous substances, and as an unregulated party drug, it’s possible to have severe psychological reactions or overdose.

Treatment Options For Dangerous Drugs

A multifaceted treatment approach can support healing from drug addiction. No single treatment works for everyone, and the most effective programs are often tailored to meet each person’s unique needs.

Detox is a crucial first step in recovery, clearing the body of harmful substances while managing the often painful or dangerous withdrawal symptoms. In cases where withdrawal can be life-threatening—such as from alcohol, opioids, or benzodiazepines—medical detox is a necessity.

For those battling opioid or alcohol addiction, medication-assisted treatment (MAT) has proven to be an effective tool. By combining medications with counseling and behavioral therapy, MAT helps reduce cravings and withdrawal symptoms, making the road to recovery less overwhelming. Depending on your needs, your care team may recommend methadone, naltrexone, or others. 

Residential programs offer a structured, immersive environment, free from distractions, where you can focus entirely on healing. For patients who have been in inpatient rehab for 30+ days, it includes intensive therapy, medical care, and life skills training. You may participate in various evidence-based therapies such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), motivational interviewing, and holistic approaches like yoga.

Outpatient care is another pathway, offering flexibility for those who need to balance treatment with work, school, or family commitments. With therapy sessions scheduled throughout the week, outpatient rehab allows you to remain at home while still receiving support. Like residential rehab, you may engage in individual, group, and family therapy.

Once formal treatment is complete, transitioning back to daily life can be daunting. Sober living homes provide a safe, drug-free environment where you can ease back into everyday life while continuing to receive support. These residences often require residents to attend therapy, maintain sobriety, and participate in household responsibilities, reinforcing the skills needed for long-term recovery. 

Find the Best Drug Rehabs

If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, help is available. Taking that first step toward seeking support can feel overwhelming, but it’s also a step toward reclaiming your life. There are resources designed to guide you through the challenges of recovery and help you build a healthier, more fulfilling future. You don’t have to face this journey alone—reach out, lean on others, and know that with the right support, you can break free from addiction and rediscover your strength.
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