How to Meditate: Billy Wynne

In this article, I will provide core methods for practicing mindfulness meditation. In the first post of this series, I described the substantial evidence supporting the benefits of this tradition. In the second, I explored the definition of mindfulness meditation: the practice of paying attention to the present moment without judgement. Now, it is time to get started meditating. Here’s how you do it.

Body Posture: Upright and Relaxed

The first step in establishing an appropriate posture for meditation is to anchor yourself on three points. If you are meditating on a cushion on the floor, those three points are your knees and your tailbone. If you’re in a chair, it’s your tailbone and your feet. In either case, this tripod orientation is essential to achieving the stability of your body that will support the stability of your mind. 

The most common positions for floor meditation are one of the lotus variations, the Burmese style, or the seiza posture. The quarter lotus, typical for most American meditators (including the author), involves placing one foot on top of the calf of the opposite leg and tucking the other foot underneath the opposite knee. The half lotus entails placing that first foot on top of the opposing thigh, with the opposite foot still tucked under your knee, and the full lotus is putting both feet up on the opposite thighs. If you find the lotus posture unsuitable, I encourage you to explore the other postures mentioned above or to simply sit in a firm chair. 

Despite the assumption that it is a common meditation posture, the ”criss-cross applesauce” style we learned in pre-school is not optimal for this practice. It leaves the knees “floating” up in the air and it requires a tremendous amount of core strength to keep the torso upright when seated this way. 

However you decide to sit, the most important thing is to maintain an upright posture with a straight back. To accomplish this, you might tilt your hips forward so that your lower back curves naturally inward. If you are meditating on the floor, use a meditation cushion so that your hips are raised above your knees. Other types of pillows or even folded towels can also work fine. Then, elongate your spine up through your neck and head. I find it helpful to imagine there is a small hook on the crown of my head with a string tied to it that someone is gently tugging upward. 

As for the rest of your body: relax. Another helpful visualization I often use is to imagine my spine is a coat rack, directly upright, and the rest of my body is a long coat hanging effortlessly from the rack. As you settle into your meditation posture, scan your body for areas of tightness that you might relax by breathing in your awareness of that spot and breathing out whatever tension may be there. 

With most of your body nestled into place, you can allow your hands to rest comfortably in your lap. There are a variety of ways to position your hands. The simplest and most relaxed may be to put your dominant hand on the bottom, palm up, with the other hand placed gently on top, also palm up, with the middle knuckles approximately aligned. You can allow your thumbs to rest naturally or take up the “cosmic mudra” by letting the ends of the thumbs touch each other gently. 

While some meditation traditions call for placing the hands, upturned, on top of the knees, with the thumbs touching the tips of the middle fingers, maintaining that posture for an extended period of time can place unnecessary tension on the hands, arms, and upper back. In the long run, the posture that is most comfortable and relaxed will likely best serve your meditation practice. 

Finally, we get to your noggin and all of its wonderful components. Recalling that little hook, it’s important to keep the head up rather than letting it slouch forward, back, or to the side. Your mouth should be closed with your breath flowing in and out of your nose naturally. Many meditators find it helpful to let the tip of the tongue rest against the back of the top front teeth. (This may seem specific, but I promise the question will come up if you meditate for a while!) Your eyes can be open or closed; there are strong traditions of both. Either way, you want to let your eyes be soft, not focused on any particular thing. Similarly, let your ears be soft. Sounds may arise, but you don’t need to go out and grab them.

Ok, you are all set. Now we get to the trickier part… 

Mind Posture: Attentive and At Ease

Of all of the beautiful pictures you’ve seen of people meditating on hillsides with the sunset behind them, all of that external setting and the posturing of your body only serves one purpose: focusing and easing your mind. Once you have settled into your posture and allowed your breath to begin flowing naturally, it is time to turn your attention to this fascinating place.

As I stated plainly in my prior post, please forget about the idea that meditation is about stopping your thoughts. That would be like trying to stop your heart from beating or your gums from salivating. Secreting thoughts is what the mind does. There is nothing wrong with that. Meditation helps us learn to be with our thoughts in a different way. I will come back to mindfulness of thoughts practice, specifically, in a future post. 

The primary method of mindfulness meditation and numerous other meditation practices is to simply focus your mind’s attention on the sensation of your breath. Again, without feeling the need to alter the pace or depth of your breath, locate the part of your body where you feel your breath most prominently. That might be the tip of your nose, the nasal cavity or inside the mouth, or in the chest or belly. Wherever it is, try to maintain your attention on that place and gently experience the rhythm of your breath’s movement there. With time, you might begin to notice the unique sensations of the in and out breath, as well as the moments when the breath pauses between the two. 

As you can see, this is a simple practice, but it is not easy. Very quickly, your mind will start to wander off into thoughts of what you might have for your next meal, an email you need to answer, or a dream vacation you want to plan. All of this is completely natural and will be a part of your meditation practice forever. Please don’t worry about it. 

To support maintaining your focus on the sensation of the breath, it is recommended to count your breath to yourself. There are some variations on exactly how to do this and you are invited to explore the approach that works best for you. A common technique is to simply treat each full breath (both the in and the out) as one count. Many find it easiest to “mentally verbalize” the number during the full length of the outbreath. In other words, I breathe in all the way and then, in my mind, it’s “oooooone” as I breathe out. Then I breathe in again and, as I start to exhale, it’s “twwwwwwwwwwwo.” And so on. 

If you make it to ten without wandering off into paragraphs of thought, which is rare for beginners, then you can begin again at one. While this device can be very handy in maintaining your focus, it’s just as important to remember that this is not a “test” or, worse, a “contest.” There are no bonus points for making it to ten and that is not the goal. The goal is to give this one breath, the one that is here with you right now, your full attention. The rest – your expectations and doubts, critiques and comparisons – you can set aside for now. Let’s treat our meditation practice as the one sanctuary in our life that might be free from all of our incessant judgment.

The Golden Rule of Gratitude

Building on that last point, I find that the most important ingredient that enables people to maintain a consistent meditation practice is not having a flexible body or highly concentrated mind. It is not fierce dedication to discover “enlightenment” or drill sergeant-like discipline. 

The essential ingredient to maintaining a consistent meditation practice is the decision to simply enjoy the experience of meditating. Here you are, on your mat or chair. You’ve made a good decision to be there, and you’ve carved out some time in your busy life to take good care of yourself. It’s a unique and rare opportunity and, if you just simply let it, it will be relaxing. Pretty soon, you will start to experience your body and mind in a different way, even if for just a passing moment at first. 

So let’s be grateful. This practice is a gift. Our life is a gift. What a joy to simply be here with it intimately for a moment. 

Next Steps

Having examined the Why, What, and How of mindfulness meditation, next we will turn to the very practical considerations of When, Where, and Who (spoiler alert: it’s you). Please tune in next time for tips for integrating this healing practice into your busy daily life.  

What Is Mindfulness Meditation?: Billy Wynne

Key Points

  • Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment without judgment.
  • Mindfulness is not about suppressing thoughts or other aspects of our life experience. 
  • Mindfulness need not be religious and it is not a substitute for therapy or other clinical support for those who need it. 
  • Meditation is time we dedicate to the exclusive purposes of cultivating mindfulness. 

Just a few decades ago, mindfulness meditation was considered an esoteric, “new age,” or downright weird activity. Now, you would need to be living in a cave to miss reference to it. It has become so mainstream that it is on the verge of becoming cliché. Meanwhile, misperceptions about the practice abound, with common beliefs ranging from it being an exceedingly difficult and demanding discipline to it being little more than lazy navel-gazing. 

In a prior article, I summarized the persuasive evidence that mindfulness meditation can improve mental health, cognition, and overall wellness. In this article, I will explain what mindfulness meditation is and what it is not, with the goals of dispelling the mystique surrounding it and bringing this timeless practice down to earth and into your daily life.

What is Mindfulness?

It may be clearest to start by defining the mindfulness part of mindfulness meditation. Put simply, mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment without judgment. In this brief definition, you can discover four vital elements: 

  1. Mindfulness is a practice. Once we take it up, we can cultivate mindfulness in meditation (more on that later) and also in the car, going up the stairs, and in conversation with loved ones. Every moment is an opportunity to practice and deepen our mindful awareness, and that practice never ends. After a lifetime of reacting to circumstances automatically, with deeply ingrained habits, we are now setting a new course. It is a simple practice, but it is not always easy, and, as with any other new endeavor, it will get easier with practice.
  1. Mindfulness is about paying attention. How often do we coast through our lives without focusing on what we are doing? If we pause to observe, we might see that most of the time, while we engage in one activity, we are thinking about another. Taking a shower, we’re thinking about what we’ll have for breakfast. Engaged in a conversation, we are planning how we’ll respond. Going on a walk, we’re recycling an argument we had six months ago. Mindfulness is about coming back to awareness of what is here now. This awareness exists beneath our thoughts and activities, emotions and intentions. It is inherently clear, present, and non-judgmental. With practice, we can reconnect with this precious place. 
  1. Mindfulness is applied to the present moment. Thich Nhat Hanh said, you “have an appointment with your life….[It is] the present moment. If you miss the present moment, you miss your appointment with life1.” Our life only unfolds in moments. It doesn’t happen any other time. So often, we miss it while we’re preoccupied with revisiting our past or planning our future. Mindfulness is an invitation to reestablish an intimate relationship with what is happening right now, both inside of us and around us. In this way, it is about living fully and wholeheartedly. 
  1. Mindfulness is the art of nonjudgment2. We have a deep-seated instinct to rapidly assess each thing we encounter as beneficial or threatening. For the sake of our survival, it evolved over millennia as we learned to avoid predators and find sources of food, shelter, and other sustenance. Unfortunately, though we now live in relative security and comfort, our spigot of judgment never turned off. We apply it to sights, sounds, emblems of social status, our own ideas, and each other. Once you decide to notice your judging mind3, you might find that it is quite harsh, it never stops, and it reserves its fiercest criticism for its host: you. To be mindful is to practice noticing what’s happening before we add that second layer of judgment, allowing the dust we’ve stirred up to settle so we can see things more clearly.

What Mindfulness is Not

So many ideas about mindfulness have flooded into our culture that it is important to take a moment to “myth bust.” Here are a few corrections to common misperceptions about mindfulness:

  1. Mindfulness is not about stopping thoughts. As you can see in the description above, it is about turning toward the authentic experience of our life, here and now. It is not about suppressing; it is about acknowledging. This may be most important when it comes to our thoughts. We do not have to change them. We start by simply watching them as they rise and fall. Because we are no longer infusing them with more power, they will start to soften of their own accord. We will come back to mindfulness of thoughts in future posts.
  1. Mindfulness is not a substitute for therapy. While many individuals trained in psychology and other forms of therapy are also qualified to support your mindfulness practice, and the two techniques are often complementary, those who need clinical care for mental health challenges should not hesitate to seek it. This is particularly true for those who have experienced significant trauma. There are some instances where mindfulness when practiced without the support of a professional who is trained to deliver care for such conditions, can pose the potential for harm4
  1. Mindfulness is not a religion. The origins of mindfulness5 practice are most often traced to Vedic and Yogic traditions that were practiced in India over 2000 years ago, which we now generally refer to as Hinduism. Analogous mindfulness traditions also arose in aspects of ancient Judaism, Christianity, Islam, and Buddhism, as well as indigenous religions around the world. Despite these roots, the techniques of mindfulness need not have ties to religious beliefs. Recently, they have been intentionally secularized, perhaps most decisively by the work of Jon Kabat-Zinn in establishing and rigorously testing Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR). Whether or not you integrate mindfulness practice with your own religious or spiritual beliefs is entirely up to you. 

What is Meditation?

While we can engage with mindfulness anywhere, meditation is time we dedicate specifically to the purpose of deepening this practice. It’s the difference between the way we exercise our muscles all day versus the time we might spend in the gym lifting weights. 

Even within meditation, there are various forms – walking, lying down, etc. – but the most common, and the one we will focus on in this series, is seated meditation. We will delve into the details of these techniques in much greater detail, but the hallmark of seated meditation practice is finding stability of the body so that we can begin stabilizing the mind. There are forms of meditation that are characterized as “just sitting,” but usually it is recommended to engage our minds by focusing on a simple aspect of our experience, starting with the breath. 

While meditation often occurs in groups, and this can be quite helpful, it usually involves turning inward to investigate our own, unique experience and the nature of our own mind. With meditation, we can begin to see, perhaps for the first time, how our mind influences our perception of our circumstances and the ways we respond to it. In this way, as the clutter of our thoughts and judgments can begin to dissipate, we may discover a new way of being in the world and the boundless possibilities that offers. If mindfulness meditation has any “message” for us, it is simply to appreciate our opportunity to be here, now.

Next Steps

Having addressed the “What” of mindfulness meditation in this article and the “Why” in the previous one, my next installment in this series will focus on the “How.” I hope that, with what’s been presented so far, your interest is piqued and you are ready to jump in to this healing, invigorating, and joyful practice.

How to Sleep Better: Tips for Restful Nights and Energized Mornings

Sleep is a fundamental aspect of human life. It affects us physically and mentally, impacting growth and stress hormones, our immune system, appetite, breathing, blood pressure, and cardiovascular health1. Good sleep can help these systems work properly. 

Sleep deficiency is linked to chronic health problems2, including heart disease, kidney disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, stroke, obesity, and depression. It’s also linked to a higher chance of injury in individuals of all ages3 because the body heals during sleep. 

A common myth is that people can adapt to little sleep without negative repercussions. Research shows that getting enough quality sleep at the proper times is vital for mental health, physical health, quality of life, and safety. Follow these tips to maximize your quality sleep.

Assessing Your Sleep Environment

As you embark on your restful journey, you can note your current sleep setup. Notice how much light comes into your room, what temperature feels most comfortable, if any noises are present throughout the night, and how many hours of sleep you average. 

Optimizing Your Bedroom for Sleep

Creating a sleep-friendly environment is essential for improving sleep quality and overall health. Some aspects to consider include:

Choosing the Right Mattress and Pillows

Selecting the right bedding can support good sleep posture and comfort. Visit a mattress store to see if you prefer a firmer or softer bed. Mattresses can be made of memory foam, innerspring, latex, or a hybrid of materials. Explain your sleep patterns to a store associate for help choosing.

Choosing pillows can be similar to choosing a mattress—some prefer firmer ones for extra neck support, while others need softer, thinner pillows. The right height and firmness align your head and neck with your spine. Side sleepers usually need a thicker, firmer pillow; back sleepers may prefer a medium thickness and firmness; stomach sleepers need a soft, low pillow.

Establishing a Sleep-Conducive Lifestyle

No matter your job and lifestyle, you can always prioritize sleep. Implementing sleep-positive habits can greatly improve all aspects of your life.

Regular Sleep Schedules

Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, even on weekends, to regulate your body’s internal clock, also known as the circadian rhythm. This natural, internal process regulates the sleep-wake cycle and repeats roughly every 24 hours. Consistent sleep schedules can decrease mental and physical health risks9.

Daylight has the biggest influence on circadian rhythm10, but food intake, stress, physical activity, social environment, and temperature also affect it—this is why it’s vital to adjust your sleep environment to fit your sleep needs.

Diet and Sleep

Food is fuel for your body—physically and mentally. Healthy, well-rounded diets that include all food groups and minimize processed foods can promote sleep. Specifically, fruits, fatty fish, dairy, fiber-rich foods like beans and oatmeal, and certain protein sources with tryptophan, like turkey, are linked to good rest11. These foods have certain vitamins and nutrients that help regulate sleep and melatonin production. If you have dietary restrictions, you might find it beneficial to take vitamins such as magnesium, vitamin D, iron, and omega-3 fatty acids to support your sleep.

You’ll want to avoid saturated fats and refined carbohydrates close to bedtime, which are in most processed foods. Alcohol does not help your relax, and also disrupts your REM sleep cycles throughout the night, diminishing your quality of sleep.

Exercise and Sleep

Exercising can help you fall asleep faster and improve your sleep quality12. Physical activity increases the production of melatonin, a hormone that impacts sleep-wake cycles and reduces stress. This can help you feel more tired and fall asleep faster. 

Your physical activity doesn’t need to be intense to have the intended effect. Even 30 minutes of moderate daily activity can help you sleep longer and deeper. Choosing exercise you enjoy is the key to maintaining a routine and having positive sleep effects. Practices like yoga provide physical exercise and incorporate mindfulness, which can further improve sleep by lowering stress and promoting relaxation13.

Exercise releases endorphins, which keep your brain awake and energized, so physical activity should be done at least 2 hours prior to sleeping14. Going to bed after letting your core temperature cool down after exercise is also easier. 

Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques for Better Sleep

Mindfulness focuses on breathing and bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future. Several practices can cultivate mindfulness, such as meditation, yoga, tai chi, and qigong. These techniques reduce stress and rumination, improve memory and focus15, and enhance rest13.

Meditation and Breathing Exercises

You can practice several mindfulness techniques as you wind down for bed. A core mindfulness element is using breath to guide your energy. Deepening and controlling your breath can help lower stress16 and help you relax for sleep. Try box breathing—this calming exercise allows you to stay mindfully present in your body.

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As you mindfully breathe, you can practice meditation. Some people find it useful to use guided meditations from videos or apps such as Headspace. You may visualize inhaling positive feelings and exhaling unhealthy thoughts. If your mind wanders, that’s okay, just come back to the present moment. 

You can also do a mindful body scan. Sitting in a comfortable position with eyes closed, begin to pay attention to your head, then your shoulders, then your arms down to the tips of your fingers. As you scan down your entire body, you’ll mindfully release any tension, preparing you for a relaxing sleep. 

Reducing Screen Time Before Bed

Blue light from phones, laptops, and tablets can greatly reduce sleep quality7. This light wavelength inhibits melatonin production, disrupting your sleep cycle. If you’re using any of these devices right before bed, you may find falling and staying asleep harder.

Try to minimize your blue light exposure before bed by doing other relaxing activities, such as reading a book, gentle yoga, and journaling. Many devices have settings that reduce blue light exposure in the evening hours. Apps are also available to adjust your screen’s color temperature based on the time of day.

Managing Stress for Better Sleep

Factors such as work and relationships can keep you up at night; however, using stress management skills can help you navigate these stressors.

One way to ease stress is by creating a time management system that works for you. You can begin effectively managing your responsibilities by taking inventory of where you invest your time and energy. List your priorities and how much of your time each receives. Can and should something change to put more energy into something else? Be honest with yourself and see what you can change for the better. 

Set up your schedule in advance using a physical or virtual calendar to block off time for your responsibilities. Get granular with this—instead of blocking off 2 hours for “errands,” put “45 minutes: haircut; 30 minutes: pick up office supplies; 45 minutes: pick up groceries.”

Writing can be therapeutic17, so journaling is a great outlet to work through stress. You may reflect on your day, goals, desires, or beliefs, whatever helps you unwind. You could answer prompts such as:

  1. Write about three things you were grateful for today. How did they impact your mood?
  2. List your accomplishments today, no matter how small. How do you feel about what you achieved?
  3. Reflect on any insights you gained today. How can these influence your future actions?
  4. Explore any strong emotions you felt today. What triggered these feelings, and how did you respond?
  5. What stressed you out today, and how did you manage it? Are there strategies you could improve on or try next time?

Navigating Sleep Challenges

For some, sleep can become a more significant issue. Research found that anywhere from 10%-60% of adults have some form of insomnia12, a common sleep disorder that can make it hard to fall asleep or stay asleep. Other sleep issues can also interfere with getting quality sleep, affecting physical and mental health. Fortunately, there are options for you to recover. 

Dealing with Insomnia

Insomnia can be treated through various methods, and people often find success through a combination of evidence-based and holistic approaches. Helpful lifestyle changes include maintaining a regular sleep schedule, exercising, and eating wholesome foods with nutrients like tryptophan and magnesium. However, sometimes healing requires more intensive methods.

Cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-i) is the most effective non-pharmacological treatment for chronic insomnia18. You’ll work to change sleep habits and scheduling factors, as well as misconceptions about sleep and insomnia that exacerbate sleep difficulties. You may practice sleep restriction therapy, where you only lie in bed when asleep or very close to it, rather than lying in bed until you feel sleepy. 

Medically prescribed medications can help with more intense insomnia19. Your clinician may recommend benzodiazepine, melatonin, or orexin receptor agonists to provide more consistent sleep. Other medications, such as antidepressants with drowsy side effects, can also help with insomnia.

Addressing Other Sleep Disorders

Sleep apnea affects oxygen intake20 by stopping and starting breathing throughout the night. This can cause poor sleep quality and affect focus and mood throughout the day. Restless legs syndrome causes unpleasant or uncomfortable sensations in the legs21 and an irresistible urge to move them, which can also cause sleep disruptions.

If you have sleep apnea, restless leg syndrome, or other sleep disorders, seek professional help if the sleep issues persist, cause significant distress, or impact your daily activities. Professional treatment can help if lifestyle changes and home remedies do not improve your symptoms.

You and your doctor will walk through your symptoms to create the most effective treatment plan for your needs. You can ask questions such as:

  1. What do you believe is the underlying cause of my sleep issues? Do I need additional therapy to work through these underlying causes?
  2. What are the benefits and side effects of my treatment options? Are there lifestyle changes I need to make to accommodate these side effects?
  3. How soon can I expect to see a positive change in my sleep?
  4. Should I see a sleep specialist?

Supplements and Sleep Aids

Using sleep supplements and over-the-counter (OTC) sleep aids can be tempting for those struggling with sleep issues, but it’s important to approach these solutions with caution. Your body has a system to regulate sleep, so adjusting this process could negatively impact it.

Sleep supplements and OTC sleep aids are found in many pharmacies and convenience stores, making them accessible. Sleep aids include antihistamines and natural supplements such as melatonin, valerian root, and magnesium, offering various options based on individual needs. They are generally effective in the short term, making them useful in a pinch. 

There is a risk of becoming dependent on sleep aids22, especially with frequent use. Additionally, side effects of these sleep aids can negatively impact the following day, contributing to daytime drowsiness, dizziness, blurred vision, dry mouth, and cognitive impairment.

In general, use caution when trying sleep supplements and OTC sleep aids. While they can be beneficial in managing short-term or occasional sleep problems, they are not typically recommended for long-term use. It’s crucial to address the root causes of sleep disruption and consult healthcare professionals to manage any issues safely.

12 Practical Tips to Manage Stress as a College Student

College can be an exciting time, but it can also come with pressure to succeed. Students may think they need perfect grades, a buzzing social life, and adequate sleep and exercise to thrive. Outside factors like work and financial stress can also contribute to this pressure. Sometimes, it’s hard to maintain the juggling act.

More than ever in the past few years1, there’s been a rise in anxiety, depressive symptoms, and burnout among students2. Students have been seeking professional mental health services3 on campus than ever before; however, there is more demand than supply of mental health support. 

Fortunately, you have multiple ways to manage stress. Discover how tiny habits can transform your college life.

1. Time Management

Time management is crucial for students balancing coursework, social activities, and personal responsibilities (especially on a college campus with plenty of distractions). Studies have found that students who use time management skills excel in their grades4. These skills also reduce anxiety5, improve well-being, and enhance sleep quality.

You can begin effectively managing your school work, friends, job, and hobbies by taking inventory of where you invest your time and energy. What are your priorities, and do those get most of your time? Do you tend to procrastinate homework by scrolling on your phone? Do you spend so much time on schoolwork, that you don’t have time for activities you love? Be honest with yourself and see what you can change for the better. 

Set up your schedule prior to the start of the week. You can use a physical or virtual calendar to block schedule your responsibilities. Get granular with this—instead of blocking off 2 hours for “homework,” instead put “Art History 200 Reading and Discussion (pages 74-189).” You could even block off 3 hours for dinner with friends on Friday night. Visually seeing what tasks you need to do and when can help prevent procrastination. 

For personal goals, use a habit tracker to break down your daily progress. For example, you could write “go for a run” or “make my bed.” Remember to give yourself grace; it might be hard to check everything off your to-do list. Stay accountable yet flexible.

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2. Establishing Boundaries

Personal boundaries are the emotional, physical, and mental limits you set to protect your well-being. Establishing boundaries with everyone, from your partner to a stranger on the street, is essential.

Setting boundaries while in college can reduce stress6 by balancing your priorities. For example, you may say no to a friend’s get-together so you can do homework, and you may also set a time to stop studying so you can get 8 hours of sleep. Knowing your limits and when to say “no” can ensure you align with your values. There will always be more social and academic opportunities, but your well-being should be your top priority.

When discussing your new boundary with another person, communicate clearly and emphasize that you’re setting this to honor your well-being. For example, you could say, “I have a lot on my plate right now and need to focus on school work. I won’t be available for social plans until the weekend. I hope you understand.”

You can create a boundary with yourself to care for your mental and physical health. For example, you could include a “self-care” session once every two weeks, during which you take time to do things that bring you joy and reduce stress, such as reading, exercising, and getting outside. 

3. Seeking Professional Support

Numerous resources are available for students grappling with high-stress levels. Your university likely has qualified mental health professionals to assist students with stress and related concerns. A quick search for “__[College Name]__ Mental Health Resources” will reveal the support options at your disposal, including therapy sessions with licensed therapists, peer support networks, and wellness initiatives. You have the flexibility to choose the services that best suit your needs. These offerings are accessible both in-person and online, ensuring you can find help in the best format.

Because of the mental health crisis in college students7, sometimes counselors won’t have availability to take on a new client (especially during high-stress times of year, like leading up to finals week). The best way to avoid this obstacle is to be self-aware and recognize when you feel overwhelmed. Regularly assess your well-being, and if you start to experience unhealthy emotions, reach out for help. Some students may find it helpful to begin seeing a counselor through their university at the start of the semester, that way they can continue sessions throughout the school year. 

Questions to Ask Your Provider

Once you’re connected with a mental health professional, consider asking questions such as these to get the most out of your counseling sessions:

  1. How do you tailor your therapy sessions to my student experience?
  2. Can you help me with specific issues (like stress management)?
  3. What can I expect from the first few sessions?
  4. How will you measure progress in my therapy sessions? 
  5. What do you suggest for managing stress and anxiety, especially during exams or deadlines? 

4. Healthy Lifestyle Choices

Small adjustments to your daily routine can significantly lower stress levels, enhancing your overall college experience. Healthy lifestyle choices that resonate with your well-being can diminish stress and anxiety, elevating your general wellness8. Some important life areas you’ll want to consider include:

As you explore these lifestyle choices, trust what feels right for your brain and body. One person might discover that getting 9 hours of sleep is helpful for them, while another may feel amazing when they dedicate 20 minutes to meditation every day. Whatever contributes to your well-being is the right choice.

6. Setting Realistic Goals

Breaking down large academic and personal tasks into smaller, manageable goals will make achieving these goals more realistic17. If you see that your everyday effort is making a difference, you may feel more motivated to continue working towards your goals. This may also inspire you to effectively use your time and be the best version of yourself.

You can track your progress using the habit tracker or block scheduling method. Celebrating your achievements along the way is a fun way to encourage yourself. Once you’ve reached a milestone in one of your goals, you may go get ice cream or buy a new book. 

Remember, progress can be alinear, and what may have been a good plan initially might need to be adjusted to fit your current circumstances. Stay flexible and give yourself grace; some progress is better than no progress.

7. Time for Recreation

Allocating time for hobbies that bring you joy can help you stay motivated and happy. In fact, those who regularly enjoy their hobbies are less likely to experience stress, low mood, and depression18. Purposeful activity, meaning carving out time to do what you love instead of only doing it when you have leftover time, should be an important part of your schedule. You may have more energy to complete all your responsibilities when you allow yourself to have dedicated fun time.

8. Avoiding Procrastination

Procrastination can occur when you fall out of routines and motivation. Not only can your schoolwork suffer from procrastination, but your mental health can worsen with symptoms of stress, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem19

To overcome this, take note of what triggers your procrastination. For example, you might procrastinate when you feel overwhelmed with school obligations. When this happens, you can use task managers and block schedule your time, so you feel more in control of when you’re doing your tasks. You might enforce boundaries with others, like staying home on Sundays to do homework, and yourself, like no phone time from 4-8pm on school days. Creating a routine that works for you is a powerful incentive to manage your workload effectively.

9. Managing Finances

Developing a budget can help you manage your finances, especially during college when resources are often limited. A well-planned budget can help reduce financial stress by providing a clear picture of your income and expenses, allowing you to make informed decisions about your spending and saving habits. You could list all your expenses and put them into categories such as “necessities” and “wants.” Focus on essentials (tuition, rent, groceries) first and see what’s left for other spending.

You could search “__(University Name)__ Scholarships and Financial Aid” to see what scholarships or grants your school offers. You can talk to your academic advisor about applying to these. For more information, visit the Federal Student Aid’s FAQ page.

Some students have time in their schedules for a job. Part-time employment can be an excellent way for college students to earn money, gain work experience, and develop new skills while managing their study schedules. Internships can also help you advance to your desired career.

10. Practicing Self-Compassion

You practice self-compassion when you are kind and understanding rather than harshly self-critical when you make mistakes or feel inadequate20. In times of difficulty, like finals week, you can give yourself the same support and encouragement that you would give to a friend.

A positive mindset is a cornerstone of self-compassion. Some people are naturally more pessimistic, so creating positive thoughts and behaviors may take intentional actions. For example, you may say positive affirmations to yourself every morning or create a list of 5 things you’re grateful for every night. Small steps like these compound to a happier mindset. 

If you are typically hard on yourself when you don’t receive certain grades, try using a positive mindset rather than beating yourself up. For example, you could write in your journal, “Although this isn’t the grade I wanted, I’m proud of how much effort I put into studying. I know that I am capable and smart.” Positive thought patterns allow you to perceive stressful situations as less threatening, leading you to use healthier, more effective coping skills21

11. Time for Reflection

Taking time to reflect on personal values and goals can ensure that you look at the whole picture and live in harmony with your desires. You may journal your responses to questions such as 

  1. Are my academic classes aligned with my career goals?
  2. What would my future profession entail, and am I gaining valuable experience in my classes that will contribute to it?
  3. How much time do I spend on homework per week? How much time do I spend on hobbies and time with friends and family?
  4. How do I feel about my academic performance? Are there changes I can make to enhance it?
  5. Do I dedicate enough time to my hobbies? 
  6. In what ways have I been effectively managing my time? What ways can I improve?
  7. When I’m stressed, how do I cope? Are there better ways to cope?

You could plan to do a self-check-in once a week or once a month. If you need more advice, you can talk to advisors or mentors about personal development. Someone with more experience can provide valuable insights. 

12. Embracing Imperfection

Whether pressure comes from parents, friends, or yourself, perfectionism can lead to stress22 and unrealistic expectations. It can also hinder academic and personal growth because of the self-punishing thought patterns. 

Sometimes, accepting 85% is more valuable than achieving 100%, so you can care for your mind and body. Your happiness and well-being are more important than one test score. College is a time of change, learning, and self-discovery, so embracing imperfection can help mitigate these pressures by fostering resilience, adaptability, and compassion toward yourself and others. It can also create a more fulfilling college experience.

Nurturing Self: 13 Ways to Practice Self-Compassion

Self-compassion focuses on treating yourself with kindness, understanding, and acceptance, which can provide a plethora of benefits. Regularly practicing self-compassion can increase happiness, optimism, curiosity, and connectedness1. It can also decrease anxiety, depression, rumination, and fear of failure.

Implementing self-compassion into your daily routine is more simple than you may think. As you utilize the following 13 practices, your well-being may begin to flourish.

1. Understanding Self-Compassion

Dr. Kristen Kneff2, a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research, defines self-compassion3 as “the process of turning compassion inward. We are kind and understanding rather than harshly self-critical when we fail, make mistakes, or feel inadequate. We give ourselves support and encouragement rather than being cold and judgmental when challenges and difficulty arise in our lives.“

Self-compassion can motivate you to create positive change in your life because you love yourself and want to see yourself succeed. Creating a personal cheerleader as your inner dialogue can ensure that all your thoughts and actions benefit you. 

2. Cultivating a Positive Mindset

Self-compassion begins with a positive mindset as its foundation. To become that cheerleader for yourself, you first need to create positive thought and behavior patterns. You may say positive affirmations to yourself every morning or create a list of 5 things you’re grateful for every night. Small steps like these compound to a happier mindset. 

If you’re naturally a more pessimistic person, that’s okay. Self-compassion doesn’t ask you to change your personality completely but rather make a cognisant effort to reframe certain thoughts. 

For example, you can identify negative thought patterns that appear regularly for you. Then, become curious. Instead of getting mad at yourself, ask yourself where those feelings stem from. As you uncover why you feel negatively about certain things, you can actively shift your perspective to a more neutral or positive one. 

3. Embracing Imperfections

You wouldn’t expect your friend, partner, or family members to be perfect, so you shouldn’t expect that of yourself. Perfectionistic tendencies can often lead to stress and unrealistic expectations. They can also hinder your personal growth if you can’t accept progress unless it is exceptional. 

Growth is important for your goals, dreams, and relationships—but the growth doesn’t need to be linear. Even when it’s messy and imperfect, progress is still progress (and it’s better than no progress at all). Accepting yourself for all your positives and negatives will allow you to move forward and evolve as a person.

For example, if you tend to be hard on yourself when learning a new hobby, such as surfing, try to reframe your mindset. Although you are not perfect, are you better than when you first started? And are you proud of yourself for taking that leap and going to your first surf lesson? Did you have fun while doing it? Building a positive mindset can help combat unhelpful desires for perfection. 

4. Mindful Self-Compassion Practices

Mindful self-awareness allows you to realize which habits or ways of thinking contribute to a negative mindset. Practicing mindfulness can help you identify and refocus your thoughts to support self-compassion. 

To practice this, you can do a mindful body scan. As you sit in a comfortable position with your eyes closed, begin to pay attention to your head, then your shoulders, then your arms down to the tips of your fingers. As you scan down your entire body, you’ll mindfully release any tension. You can accept how you’re feeling in this moment and breathe out stress.

Mindful journaling can provide a great outlet to acknowledge all the emotions that you’re feeling. As you write, reflecting without judgment is key. Seeing your thoughts written out may provide insight into how you can change your mindset. 

Incorporating simple practices like these into your daily life can reduce stress and rumination and boost focus and cognitive flexibility4. Reap the benefits of mindfulness and see how it can transform your thoughts.

5. Compassionate Reflection

The first step toward self-compassion requires becoming aware of what areas of your life you want to change. Reflecting on your actions, thoughts, and feelings allows you to see what positive or negative energy you expend and where. 

Compassionate self-reflection takes inventory without judgment. It’s okay if you realize you’d like to shift some negative behaviors to more positive ones. This can be the start of a beautiful self-growth journey. Compassionate self-reflection can also bolster the thoughts and actions that you feel contribute to self-love.

To begin the reflection process, consider journaling the answers to questions such as

  1. What are the 3 most important things in your life? How do you prioritize them?
  2. What people and activities bring you joy?
  3. What would it be like to be free of commitments you feel trapped by?
  4. What change can you make today that will create a better “you” tomorrow?
  5. List 5 things you love about yourself. Do you tend to surround yourself with other people who also have these qualities?
  6. How did you initially respond to a recent challenge, and how might you respond in the future with self-compassion in mind?
  7. What is stopping you from being kind to yourself? What actions can you take to overcome this?
  8. What feelings do you tend to avoid? Why? 

6. Self-Compassionate Self-Talk

When your friend tells you they made a mistake and feel awful, or they were just short of achieving their goal, how would you respond? You would remind them of all the progress they made, help them create a plan for how they can do better moving forward, and, most importantly, comfort them.  

Now, begin to view yourself as your own best friend. You are human, and you will make mistakes. When this happens, offer yourself kindness. Progress isn’t created with negativity, but rather through confidence in yourself. 

If you engage in negative self-talk, try to change the narrative. Give yourself a compliment instead of an insult. You may leave sticky notes around your home with positive qualities about yourself, or you can say 5 positive affirmations about yourself every morning when you wake up. At first, it may not feel natural, but over time you can train your brain to focus on the positive. 

7. Setting Healthy Boundaries

Setting boundaries with friends, family, coworkers, etc. is not only important for your relationships but is also a practice of love for yourself. Without boundaries, you may say “yes” to things you don’t want to, avoid necessary conversations, and be consumed by others’ negative feelings. Prioritizing your boundaries ensures that you’re living your life in alignment with your beliefs and well-being.

If you want to create personal boundaries, begin by taking inventory of where you invest your time, energy, and emotions. Do all of these things matter? Do they require as much energy as you’re giving them? Do you give the most energy to your top life priorities?

Once you’ve decided what areas of your life you’d like to prioritize, clearly communicate this with your loved ones. Be firm in your decisions, and explain how this might affect your relationship moving forward. For example, you may tell a friend, “I can’t hang out on weeknights anymore because I like having alone time to decompress after work. We can still hang out on the weekends, though.”

Stay consistent with your boundaries; this will help others respect them. Be sure to let loved ones know that you appreciate their trust. 

8. Gratitude Practices

Practicing gratitude (giving thanks to the good things in life) can boost your overall well-being5. Fostering positive thoughts allows you to see and focus on the beauty in your life. Gratitude can also help you reframe the narrative of a difficult situation. 

To practice self-compassionate gratitude, try writing a self-appreciation letter. Describe gratitude for the qualities, skills, and achievements you value in yourself. Be specific about the traits you appreciate and their positive impact on your life. You can look back on this letter if you’re ever feeling down.

You can also create a gratitude jar. Write down one thing you’re grateful for daily on a small scrap of paper and place it in a jar. You could also write down your achievements and what you’re proud of. At the end of every month, sift through what you wrote and swell with gratitude and love for yourself.

9. Acts of Self-Care

Self-compassion and self-care go hand in hand. Nurturing your mind, body, and spirit are acts of self-love. Finding activities that recharge you helps maintain a healthy mindset. 

Self-care can be physical, with routine exercise, nourishing foods, and a regular sleep schedule.

Self-care can also be mental. Setting a boundary with family members to prevent emotional burnout6 is one example. Practicing meditation, gratitude journaling, and positive affirmations also provide self-care.   

10. Self-Compassion Meditation

Self-compassion meditation can foster a positive relationship with yourself, reduce self-criticism, and promote overall well-being. In fact, compassionate meditation can alleviate mental health conditions and symptoms like depression, anxiety, anger, and stress7

If you’re looking to mindfully tap into self-love, try following this adaptation of The Self-Compassion Break meditation script8:

Take a few deep breaths and settle into your body.

Then bring to mind a situation in your life that is causing you stress (begin with a mild to moderately challenging issue). 

Bringing this difficulty to life in your experience right now. Where do you feel it in the body? Be present with the sensations.

With the difficulty present, now try saying to yourself, slowly:

1. “This is a moment of struggle”

That’s mindfulness, the first component of self-compassion. Recognizing the struggle while we’re struggling, validating how we feel while experiencing it.

2. For the second stage of the Self-Compassion Break, try saying to yourself: “Struggle is a part of life.”

That’s common humanity, the second component of self-compassion. 

For the third stage of the Self-Compassion Break, experiment with offering yourself a simple gesture of soothing touch. One option is placing your hand over your heart or trying another gesture of soothing touch of your choice somewhere on your body. And try saying to yourself:

3. “May I be kind to myself,” or “May I give myself what I need.” That’s kindness, the

third component of self-compassion.

Continue experimenting with this practice and becoming familiar with it. The next time you are struggling or stressed, you can pause for a moment and acknowledge what you are experiencing with the 3 stages of the Self-Compassion Break.

11. Connecting with Others

Having a strong social circle is the strongest predictor of a happy life9. When you surround yourself with people who make you feel loved, lift you up, laugh with you, and support you through thick and thin, it makes it easier for their kindness to replicate in self-compassion.

Wisely choose the people you surround yourself with. Often, they can reflect many of your traits (or they can influence your characteristics). If you wish to improve certain aspects of your life, such as having a more optimistic outlook, hang out with people who have that optimistic outlook.

If there are unavoidable people in your life that have negative characteristics, set boundaries with them. Clearly communicate that your interactions might be restricted, or that you won’t be discussing certain topics.

12. Creative Self-Expression

In getting to know and love yourself, creative outlets allow you to compassionately tap into your feelings. Creativity provides ways to access thoughts and feelings that you may be unable to reach with words. Creative thinking also helps you embrace imperfections in your hobbies and in yourself. 

For some, drawing and painting speak to their souls. Others may find joy in music and dance or expressing themselves through fashion. However, you choose to access your creativity, live it authentically. 

13. Learning from Challenges

Learning to ride life’s lows and highs helps you adapt to changes and promote personal growth. When a challenge, or a low, happens, you can view it as a learning opportunity—not only to learn how you can adjust your actions for the future, but also how to practice self-compassion. It’s okay if you didn’t perfectly respond to a challenge. You did the best that you could with the knowledge that you had at that moment.

You can learn from challenges by reframing your view of the situation. For example, if you are rejected from a job interview, a positive mindset would see the situation as a redirection to another job opportunity that will be better suited for you. You may be better prepared for the next job interview, too. A relationship break-up teaches you what you prioritize in a partner and how you can be a better partner. 

Seeking Professional Support

If you need help for addiction or mental health issues, one of the best things you can do for yourself is seek professional treatment. Licensed providers can offer evidence-based therapies and holistic modalities to heal the root cause of the conditions. By caring for your mind, you’re showing self-compassion. Nurturing yourself is a lifelong process that can always be prioritized.

Empathy with Boundaries

Having empathy for people you love, and even those you don’t know, is important to form and maintain deep relationships. Learning healthy empathy and setting boundaries can help keep positive relationships between you and your loved ones.

Dr. Kristen Neff1, an expert in empathy and self-compassion, dives into this topic through her research. She wrote a book called Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself2 about these ideas and created a program called Mindful Self-Compassion to help people live aligned with their goals, motivations, and happiest selves.

Using her research as a basis, you can learn to set boundaries, practice self-compassion, and care for your loved ones and your well-being.

Why Is It Important to Set Boundaries?

Boundaries are the emotional, physical, and mental limits you can establish to maintain your well-being. You can, and should, set boundaries with everyone from your spouse to the stranger on the street. 

By creating boundaries, you can prioritize what’s most important to you by aligning your thoughts and actions with your values. Identifying and communicating your needs can boost your emotional and mental well-being. And knowing your limits can also reduce stress, which can directly improve your physical health3.

Boundaries are not only important for yourself, but also for others. Boundaries foster respect and clear communication, which ensures that you and the other person are comfortable and feel seen, creating a stronger, healthier relationship. 

Balancing Empathy and Boundaries

Empathy allows you to understand and share another person’s feelings. It plays an important role in connecting with others, viewing experiences with a new perspective, and developing a deep understanding of yourself in the process.

Striking the balance between practicing empathy while maintaining personal boundaries can take some refining. It’s great to show empathy to others; however, some people may take advantage of that. Without boundaries, your empathy may overextend to the point of emotional burnout4. You may say “yes” to things you don’t want to, avoid conflict even when it’s necessary, and absorb others’ negative emotions.

Boundaries can provide a resolution. Expressing your feelings, acting on your values, and listening to your body are all ways to practice self-respect. Supporting others begins with supporting yourself.

Kristin Neff’s Approach to Balancing Empathy, Self-Compassion, and Boundaries

Dr. Neff’s work centers around the concept of self-compassion, which is treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. The 3 elements of self-compassion5 include 

  1. Being kind to yourself rather than judging, even if you make a mistake
  2. Recognizing that it’s part of the human experience to go through difficult times
  3. Practicing mindfulness in how your thoughts, feelings, and actions may positively or negatively impact your well-being

Utilizing this concept, Dr. Neff believes that prioritizing your mental, physical, and emotional health is essential to provide empathy and help to others. In fact, Kristen Neff’s research proved that when practicing self-compassion, you can be in a better position to help someone else6. When you are in a stable, happy state, you may be better at supporting loved ones. 

Setting boundaries can prioritize and protect your well-being. You can learn ways to recognize what your boundaries are, how to communicate them, and how to practice them, so you can be the best you can be for the other person and yourself.  

Strategies for Implementing Empathy with Boundaries

You can practice these techniques to honor your well-being and boundaries:

  1. Identify how much time, energy, and emotional support you can offer without compromising your mental health. This will set the basis for your boundaries. 
  2. Clearly communicate your boundaries to your loved ones. Describe ways that you will be able to show up for them. You may say,
    1. “I want to support you, but this is a difficult topic for me to talk about right now. Can we revisit it when I’m in a better headspace?”
    2. “I have a lot on my plate right now and need to focus on work. I won’t be available for social plans until the weekend. I hope you understand.”
  3. Practicing mindfulness7 can help you navigate others’ emotional responses. You’ll learn to be present with others’ emotions, while still honoring your own to avoid being overwhelmed.
  4. Keep some emotional distance. You can recognize and understand others’ feelings without absorbing them by realizing their emotions are their responsibility.
  5. Practice saying no when necessary. Establish clear limits on what you can take on, and recognize when additional commitments might hurt your well-being.

How Empathy with Healthy Boundaries can Change Your Life

Implementing boundaries can transform your relationships with loved ones and yourself. In addition to emotional health, you may foster greater resilience by staying true to your boundaries. Communicating your boundaries can hone your communication skills and help you be more open with others. And you may develop healthier, more authentic relationships. 

Find Additional Resources

You can browse Kristen Neff’s self-compassion exercises8 to see how self-kindness is the first step towards setting your boundaries. 

If you’re looking to learn more about how you can support yourself, or how you can care for others in need, visit our resource library.

7 Essential Coping Skills For Drug and Alcohol Use

Finding healthy coping skills for drug and alcohol use can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re already preoccupied with other stressors. Sometimes addictions form because they seem like means to deal with uncomfortable situations and feelings. And, as a result, substance use has the potential to turn into a coping mechanism; however, it’s a harmful one. 

Learning the tools to navigate recovery, and applying them, can be extremely rewarding. Through therapies, groups, and moments in between, you can apply the skills that reinforce sobriety. Building a long lasting recovery toolkit can help you on your journey. Exploring programs that include individual, group, and family therapies can also be beneficial to jumpstarting that journey and serve as the foundation to continued healing.

What are Coping Skills?

Coping skills are instruments and methods that we use to work through stressful situations. These can look different for everyone.

Adopting healthy coping strategies can help you regulate your emotions and behaviors, helping you live a more positive lifestyle. There is a wide range of opportunities, or pearls, if you will, that you can gift yourself to make the possibilities a reality. It’s all about finding what works best for you and your recovery journey. Here are 7 “pearls” for you to consider. 

7 Essential Coping Strategies: The “Pearls”

1.Talk Therapy 

One of the most important ways you can cope with and heal your addiction is by seeking professional help. Talking regularly with a therapist can help you develop healthier, more effective habits. Your therapist will help you in an objective, non-judgemental way. And you can talk about a variety of topics to get to the root cause of your substance use. 

Aside from how your addiction is physically affecting you, you can also explore its emotional impact. Ultimately, your explorations will help you understand how to incorporate and value the new tools you acquire.

2.Mindfulness

Mindfulness can be a powerful way to work through addiction. This practice can reduce cravings and help your sobriety journey. The goal of mindfulness is to increase awareness of yourself and your surroundings. In doing so, you enable yourself to be the observer of your own thoughts and behaviors, and you then have the opportunity to move past negative patterns. As you’re going through recovery, you can use mindfulness to reflect on your progress and give yourself more grace.

Different meditation and mindfulness apps are a good starting point for your mindfulness journey. They can guide you through meditations, focus on different areas of growth, and are easily accessible to practice on your own time. 

3. Fitness

Exercise creates positive structure and routines, which can help you stay on track with other sobriety aspirations. And the endorphins we release when we work out can boost overall mood and motivation.

Exercise can help you physically, mentally, and spiritually. It’s important to nurture the lifelong relationship that you have with your mind and body. And keeping fit can lower your chances of relapse

There are a variety of fitness apps that help you reach your goals. Some offer virtual classes, while others track your progress. Whatever your needs are, there are tools out there to help you on your journey.

4. Practice Gratitude

Finding gratitude through your recovery process is extremely empowering. Focusing on the positive and where you want your life to go will help you stay in line with your goals. Practicing gratitude also allows you to seek out healthy experiences and relationships instead of resorting back to old ways. And gratitude helps you develop a personal arsenal of strengths needed to live a sober and happy life. 

5. Support Groups

Emotional support can be part of the framework for healthy sobriety. Surrounding yourself with others who support your recovery, and those in recovery themselves, can help reinforce your goals and maintain morale. Identifying with and feeling accepted by a group can give us a greater purpose

Different support groups like AA allow you and others in similar situations to come together. You’ll dive into addiction topics and open up about feelings that are often universally experienced. 

6. Connecting with Loved Ones

Outside of groups, having supportive loved ones in your life makes all the difference. Psychoeducation for loved ones, family therapy and/or couples counseling are great options for finding common ground and working through the pervasive aspects of addiction alongside the important people in your life. Your loved ones will learn more about addiction, what you’re experiencing, and how to work through issues together. 

7. Accountability Partner

While it’s important to be self-reliant, having someone support you along your journey can be a gamechanger. Oftentimes, your accountability partner is someone from a support group that you’re a part of, like AA. 

You should first decide what your goals, expectations, and boundaries are for your recovery. Communicating clearly and honestly is important throughout this process. You’ll focus on moving forward together, and they can also encourage and reinforce self compassion and morale. Sometimes, others can have tips that open your perspective and scope for your own rehab journey.

How Do They Help?

Healthy coping mechanisms can help reduce cravings for drugs and alcohol. They can also prevent relapse by teaching you how to identify warning signs. 

Beyond the physical cravings, healthy coping skills benefit all areas of your life. You’ll discover a new positive life perspective, improve communication skills, and follow through with new goals. Professionals at Gateway Foundation describe even more benefits learned from healthy coping mechanisms:

  • Manage strong impulses and emotions
  • Increase confidence
  • Better resilience
  • Improve overall health and wellness

Building Skills to Last a Lifetime 

A strong foundation for your future is built day by day. By setting realistic goals and timelines, you can create an action plan

Creating your game plan can be easy. First, identify your inner narrative. Acknowledge your hurdles, and then shift the energy you would have used on the hurdles towards reinforcing the positive. In taking this mindful approach, you can be more aware of how your thoughts impact your actions. Finally, be your own best friend. Give yourself kindness and grace as you carve out your journey.

Once you lay that groundwork, there are many ways you can sustain the skills that you learn. Here are some ideas: 

  • Start a new hobby that feels fulfilling and reinforces your new lifestyle.
  • Maintain healthy relationships, in and outside the recovery community. 
  • Write your own narrative. Reflect on why sobriety is important to you, what challenges you have overcome, and what wins you have embraced. You can go back and read your story on days that are harder than others to remind yourself of how far you have come.

While life can be full of stressors as you navigate through your rehabilitative journey, the skill toolkit you build can be with you every step of the way. You can explore programs that help you build and enhance your coping skills, so you find a lifetime of happiness.

Download your free Self-Care Check-In below:

daily self care check in


Goals of Depression Treatment (AAA)

You need more than a quick fix to treat depression. Depression won’t go away overnight, but that’s okay. That’s why therapy is a continual process that supports medication management, and vice versa. The goal, then, of depression treatment is to work through its root causes and teach you how to navigate daily life with more hope, ease, and joy. 

Through treatment, you can learn to manage depression and navigate your emotions. Talking with your doctor can help you decide which level of care is best for you. You could even attend a rehab for depression

Depression treatment could take many directions. Dr. Malasri, psychologist and Senior Director of Content at RehabPath, describes her AAA method below. 

“The more we focus on perseverative thoughts, the more they will prevail. To work through them, it is crucial to take the AAA approach: Acknowledge, Acknowledge, Action. The first round of Acknowledgement involves listening to yourself and acknowledging what you are truly feeling. In the second round of acknowledgement, you need to acknowledge the aspiration—what do you actually want to bring to your life, what are you seeking? Finally, take action—this is where you create an action plan that will enable you to take your solutions and break them down into monthly, weekly, and daily goals.”

You can use this method during and between therapy sessions. Using AAA, you can have progressive conversations with your therapist and yourself, and an all-around more successful treatment experience.

AAA Infographic2
The AAA method.

Acknowledgement 

The first step and goal of depression treatment is acknowledgement. You can acknowledge your symptoms, how they affect your life, and that they could mean you need extra help. Doing so might be your first step to healing.

You can do this with yourself, a therapist, or both. Because therapy doesn’t stop once you leave a session—it’s also every moment in between.

Your therapist can help you work through and resolve what contributes to your symptoms, especially if it feels hard to identify. For example, you might try to navigate a difficult job situation by identifying its pain points and seeing if you can relieve them. Or, your therapist could help you navigate a toxic relationship or living situation.

Once you’ve acknowledged what’s going on and how you’re feeling, you can move onto the second phase of acknowledgement.

Acknowledge What You Want

What do you want to happen next? What do you seek? Take some time to reflect on this. Dream, visualize, and see what you can imagine for yourself.

What does happiness look like? What does your ideal work experience look like? What motivates you? What are your sources of inspiration? 

Try to be realistic as you do this—taking off too big a chunk might feel daunting. Identify what you want here. Think of a blank canvas, and what picture you want to paint. 

And once you know what you want, you (and your therapist) can begin making it happen.

Action: Plan Your Next Steps 

Sometimes, leaving the cycle of depression can seem scary—paralyzingly so. Once you acknowledge this cycle and your goals, you can redirect your energy into action. Alone or with help, you can identify manageable steps that you can accomplish daily, weekly, and monthly. These form your action plan. 

You need to paint your dreams with paced, manageable steps. Here, it’s important to remember that small steps in your plan might feel easier to follow and commit to. 

For example, you might take a walk each day. Some days you might feel up to something bigger. Take that motivation and focus on the pace you created. On the days where it seems undoable, take that energy, go back to acknowledging those emotions, breathe through it, and remind yourself of your paced approach. 

Give yourself compassion—and space to breathe in your action plan.

Committing to the process could be invaluable, especially since, like other conditions, depression requires maintenance. It won’t vanish on its own. And once it’s gone, there’s always the chance it could come back. 

Maintaining your treatments, like therapy, self-care and medication management, can keep recurrent episodes at bay. 

And you can always come back to AAA. The process has no expiration date, and it’s yours. 

Break The Chains Without Fear

Despite how it may feel, depression can go away with proper treatment. The goal of treatment isn’t to give you a fast cure. Rather, it’s to give you systems and plans to manage the condition.
If you think residential treatment for depression could help you best, you can browse our list of depression rehabs and see pictures, pricing, and reviews.

How to Spot High Functioning Depression: Signs and Treatment

High functioning depression can look like appearing okay to friends and family, while really you’re struggling on the inside. There are a lot of misconceptions about what depression looks like. But depression actually comes in many different forms and levels of intensity. Sometimes, symptoms can be hard to identify.

Seeking help can be daunting, but you are strong enough to begin healing. You can get treatment for high functioning depression to start living to your fullest potential.

What Is High Functioning Depression?

High functioning depression is a subtype of depression in which individuals experience symptoms of depression but can maintain their daily functioning, such as going to work or school, socializing, and completing daily tasks. It is characterized by a relatively high level of functional status, low depression scores, and little agitation.

High functioning depression can be challenging  to spot, so it’s important to recognize the symptoms you’re experiencing. This disorder usually has milder symptoms of major depression1. And it can be caused by a combination of genetic factors2 and other life experiences.

Despite feeling the opposite, putting on a happy face may seem like a good way to cope with depression at first. But ignoring the signs that you might be depressed can make it worse. High functioning looks different for everyone. Sometimes it seems like a way to protect yourself from uncomfortable feelings, and sometimes it looks like wearing a mask and pretending to be happy when you are not.

While your high functioning depression might feel manageable now, it could snowball into something more harmful. But co-occurring disorders like anxiety, major depressive disorder, and insomnia can also be an issue as a result of the depression3. And if you’ve experienced these feelings for 2+ years, you may have persistent depressive disorder (PDD), or dysthymia4

Signs of High Functioning Depression

If you think you have high functioning depression, it’s essential to talk to a licensed clinician who can diagnose you; however, here are some of the symptoms that you can identify4

  • Low self-esteem
  • Changes in sleep habits 
  • Changes in appetite 
  • Internalized distress
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Trouble making decisions
  • Feelings of sadness and hopelessness
  • High achievement orientation
  • Difficulty seeking help

These symptoms can have damaging and long lasting effects. Sometimes, high functioning depression can cause more harm than acute major depression5. But there are resources and tools available. You can stop the cycle and step into a more fulfilling, positive lifestyle by seeking professional help for your high functioning depression. 

Healing from the Inside Out: Treatment for High Functioning Depression

Acknowledging that you may have high functioning depression, and facing those negative feelings, is a vital first step in your journey toward healing. Getting a diagnosis and the right care can then get you to feel like the real you again.

Antidepressants like selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOs) can help manage your symptoms. However, medications are even more effective when combined with other therapies5

Talk Therapy

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is proven to be one of the best treatments for depression6. This therapy helps you identify unhelpful thought patterns that might contribute to your high functioning depression. Then, you’ll learn how to replace those negative thoughts with positive ones. Once you build out these new ways of thinking, your emotions will likely become more manageable. And you’ll learn habits to overcome any new challenges that arise in the future.

Cognitive behavioral analysis system of psychotherapy (CBASP) is a therapy designed specifically for persistent depression7. CBASP helps you create a clear, step-by-step action plan to tackle your issues. You’ll learn how to develop constructive, positive habits. And you’ll focus on your actions’ impact on yourself and others. This, in turn, motivates you to maintain a positive lifestyle.  

Holistic Therapies

Healing requires looking at the whole “you.” And healthy lifestyle changes can enhance treatment for depression5. There are a few different holistic practices that you can incorporate into your recovery to heal your mind, body, and spirit.

Yoga builds physical and mental strength, which makes it an effective treatment for depression8. Yoga can provide community and a sense of belonging, and depression-related themes can be shared in classes. You’ll work through breathing exercises, learn resilience in different poses, and practice mindfulness. And you can do it from anywhere and on your schedule. 

Meditation and mindfulness are another instrumental way to treat depression. In fact, data shows that mindfulness-based training is as effective as other talk therapies for depression treatment8. These practices draw your attention to the present moment and your surroundings. By incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine, you can become more aware of your emotions. And in time, you can better manage your feelings and choose to seek the positive. 

How to Support Someone with High Functioning Depression

If you think someone you love is experiencing high functioning depression, providing a listening ear and complete understanding can go a long way. While you can be a support system for the person you love, encouraging them to get professional treatment is the best way to help them heal. You can be their rock, guide them through the process, and be patient as experts help your loved one work through their depression. 

Learning to Live Fearlessly

Coming face-to-face with your depression can be scary. But by confronting what’s holding you back, you can set yourself free. Tap into your resilience by seeking help for your high functioning depression

Change happens in small steps. Here are 6 things you can start doing today to live fearlessly: 

  1. Seek professional help
  2. Challenge negative thoughts
  3. Practice self-care
  4. Reach out for support from friends and family–remember reaching for help is a good thing
  5. Make manageable changes (i.e. daily routine, new hobby)
  6. Set goals for yourself

India’s Holistic Rehabs Treat Your Mind, Body, and Spirit

Travelers are drawn to India for its beautiful landscape and tropical climate. This country is perfect for people who enjoy warmer weather and striking views of the Himalayas, lush jungles, or vast beaches. And its vibrant culture has a focus on holistic wellness—which is a great fit for some people in recovery.

If you’re interested in integrated treatment for addiction, you may find what you’re looking for at a rehab in India. This approach is designed to help you heal as a whole person, instead of only treating one health issue at a time. 

What Is Holistic Treatment?

Most of India’s rehab centers take a holistic approach to addiction recovery. The goal is to help you heal your mind, body, and spirit as one. These programs also have a strong focus on spirituality. Treatment may include activities like yoga, meditation, and massage.

Some of these alternative methods are controversial, due to a lack of scientific data deemed legitimate in the Western world. However, many people find these ancient treatments helpful. Holistic techniques may be gentler than Western ones, with a larger-picture approach to healing and a greater focus on sustainable wellness. For instance, you may be able to go through treatment without taking prescribed medications. Instead, clients use diet and exercise as tools to improve their mental health.

And there’s no need to choose one philosophy over the other. You can do yoga and take antidepressants. You can join a support group and meditate. Some rehabs even recommend this combination approach. Lotus Wellness and Rehabilitation Center, for example, combines traditional Ayurveda with Western biomedical treatments. 

Lotus Wellness and Rehabilitation Center blog
Lotus Wellness and Rehabilitation Center in Tamil Nadu, India, combines holistic and Western treatment methods.

India’s Most Popular Therapies

You’ll encounter many different holistic treatment methods at rehab facilities around the country. These are some of the most popular.

Meditation and Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a practice that teaches you to just be in the present moment. These exercises can help you cultivate self-awareness and improve emotion regulation.

Meditation is a mindfulness technique that helps quiet your mind. You’ll feel more at peace, and learn to let your thoughts pass by, without attaching emotions to them. And you don’t have to meditate for hours to reap the benefits. Meditating for only 13 minutes a day, over the course of 8 weeks, had a profound effect1 on participants in one study. After treatment, they felt more positive and less anxious, and their memories improved. And mindful meditation can be an effective treatment2 for addiction.

Most treatment centers in India offer some form of mindfulness training. For example, Kairali The Ayurvedic Healing Village provides daily group meditation sessions.

Kairali The Ayurvedic Healing Village‘s peaceful surroundings in Kerala, India, set the tone for their meditation sessions.

Yoga for Mental Health and Addiction

You don’t need to be flexible or strong to try yoga. While this practice has physical benefits, it’s also about self-acceptance—not competition. And because yoga originated in India, you’ll get the full experience by practicing here. You may even enjoy it enough to continue after you leave rehab.

In addition to its physical health benefits, research shows that yoga contributes to positive mental health outcomes.3 It is especially helpful for people who are quitting smoking.  

These positive effects translate to people with other mental health conditions as well, like women with PTSD.4 One study discovered that practicing yoga for 12 weeks decreased these subjects’ PTSD symptoms. These changes were present both right after the study and at the 3-month follow up.

People in addiction recovery5 can also benefit from yoga. Research shows that yoga minimizes stress, decreases addictive behaviors, improves confidence, and increases self-control for these patients. One survey even found that yoga is “an effective tool” for people in every stage of recovery.6 Because this practice addresses both physical and spiritual wellness, it can be an important part of integrated treatment.

Ayurvedic Medicine

Ayurveda,7 also called Ayurvedic medicine, is an ancient, holistic approach to health. It teaches that diet, exercise, and herbal remedies can all contribute to a healthy lifestyle. 

Providers at Kairali The Ayurvedic Healing Village incorporate Ayurvedic teachings into rehab for addiction, chronic pain, and other conditions. They describe these techniques by explaining that “the human body is made up of 3 components,” or doshas.  Each dosha has 2 distinct elements:

  • Vata consists of space and air. Vata controls movement in the body and mind, like blood flow, waste elimination, breathing, and thought.
  • Pitta consists of fire and water. It is associated with heat, metabolism, and transformation within the mind and body. These functions include digestion, perceptions, and understanding right and wrong.
  • Kapha includes water and earth. This dosha governs structure and lubrication in both the mind and body, like the joints, lungs, and body tissues.

Depending on your specific needs, you may try various Ayurvedic therapies during inpatient treatment. These may include, but are not limited to, the following:

  • Abhyangam is a type of oil massage that improves sleep, circulation, and more.
  • During Podikizhi, the practitioner pounds warm bundles of herbs onto the body. This relieves muscle spasms and joint stiffness.
  • In Sirovasti, a clinician pours oil into specially-designed head gear while you wear it. This treatment relieves migraines, stress, sinusitis, and other issues.
  • During Kavalagraham, you’ll gargle oils and other Ayurvedic medicines to promote oral health.
  • Dhoompanam is a practice in which you inhale medicinal smoke intended to detox your body.

Your Ayurvedic practice doesn’t have to end when you leave rehab. Kairali The Ayurvedic Healing Village also provides lectures on Ayurveda every week, helping clients learn how to implement these techniques into daily life.

Acupuncture for Physical and Mental Wellness

During an acupuncture session,8 a trained acupuncturist will insert small needles into specific anatomical points. These points correspond with meridians, which are channels of energy that run throughout the body. The goal is to remove energy blockages, so that your qi—or vital energy—can flow freely. According to traditional Chinese medicine, this treatment can improve your physical, mental, and spiritual health. 

Massage for Detox and Recovery

Massage treatments can help you heal—both mentally and physically. Research suggests that massage therapy can treat chronic pain and various mental health conditions.9 And it’s hugely beneficial for people in early recovery from addiction. In fact, massage might even help decrease withdrawal symptoms.10 Rehab centers in India may offer Western styles of massage, Ayurvedic massage, or a combination of these techniques.

Ayurvedic massage techniques11 incorporate special oils, which are chosen based on the client’s energetic balance. Different oils correspond with the doshas, and are used to achieve specific purposes during treatment. Your provider may also stimulate certain pressure points that correspond to other areas of the body.

Mamta Landerman, president of the California Association of Ayurvedic Medicine, addresses the importance of Ayurvedic massage.12 “Ayurveda addresses therapies that relate to all the 5 senses,” she says. “And a very important component is the sense of touch.” For many clients, this is an essential part of holistic treatment.

Nutritional Therapy

A balanced diet can contribute to better health—and not just physically. In fact, studies show that good nutrition improves mental health,13 lowering depression and anxiety.

Because of this, most rehabs in India offer some form of nutritional therapy. For example, many centers will design a personalized nutrition plan for each client. These healthy, organic meals help you heal from the inside out. 

Kairali The Ayurvedic Healing Village takes it a step further. This center offers cooking classes, where clients learn to make their own rejuvenating meals. With this new skill, you can continue to eat well even after returning home. And, like any other creative pursuit, cooking can help you find joy in recovery. 

Train Your Brain With Music

Studies show that listening to music can decrease anxiety.14 Research suggests that music may even be more effective than anti-anxiety medication. Music has a natural ability to boost levels of certain hormones in your brain—like dopamine—that can increase positive feelings. In addition, music can decrease cortisol, which is the hormone involved in stress. Because of the role dopamine plays in addiction,15 the chemical effects of music can support your recovery process.

Alpha Healing Center offers various holistic treatments, including a Brain Health Training Program. In this program, clients participate in various activities, one of which is Brain Music Therapy. They describe Brain Music Therapy as an innovative treatment “based on the premise that personalized music derived from a guest’s own brain wave patterns can affect emotional stability.” Because this treatment hasn’t produced any negative side effects, it’s safe to try, and worth combining with other therapies. 

Alpha Healing Center India blog
Located in Gujarat, India, Alpha Healing Center offers innovative holistic treatments like Brain Music Therapy.

Hypnotherapy for Substance Misuse

According to researchers, hypnosis16 is a “state of awareness, (or consciousness), in which a person’s attention is detached from his or her immediate environment and is absorbed by inner experiences.” Hypnotherapy is just what it sounds like: receiving therapy while under hypnosis. 

Research shows that this treatment can minimize pain and emotional stress. It’s highly effective for patients with depression17 and anxiety.18 And one study found that “clinical hypnotherapy is a powerful promoter of mental and behavioral change” for people healing from addiction.19 In the right environment, this can be an inspiring way to start your recovery journey.

How to Travel to—And Within—India

India’s 2 largest airports20 are Indira Gandhi International Airport in New Delhi and  Chhatrapati Shivaji International Airport in Mumbai. Each one serves over 80 destinations. Because of this, it’s easy to travel to rehab in India—although it may be a long flight.

In addition to India’s 30+ international airports,21 there are more than 100 domestic ones scattered throughout the country. This makes it easy to take a quick flight if you’re traveling within India. 

If you fly to rehab, most centers will pick you up from the airport. 

If you’re traveling internationally, you may need a visa for India.22 These regulations vary by country, and you may need to apply in advance. Check with your rehab’s admissions team to see if they can help you arrange for travel.

Start Your Recovery Journey in India

If you’d like to begin your healing journey in a place that emphasizes spiritual and personal wellness, India might be a great fit. Maybe you want to surround yourself with people who share your values. Or if you’re coming from abroad, you might not have access to these treatments in your home country. Whatever your reasons, India is waiting for you. And so is your recovery.

Visit our list of rehab centers in India to learn about their philosophies, amenities, and unique treatment options.