Tag: Personality Disorders

Posted on

Imposter Syndrome Test: 10 Questions to Find Out if You Struggle with Self-Doubt Despite Success

You’re accomplished, capable, and maybe even admired by others. But deep down, do you fear being exposed as a fraud? 

That’s the core experience of imposter syndrome: a persistent belief that your success isn’t real, earned, or deserved.

The imposter syndrome test is a self-assessment tool designed to help you reflect on those inner doubts, perfectionist tendencies, and feelings of inadequacy. Grounded in psychological research like the Clance Impostor Phenomenon Scale, this test is not a diagnosis. It’s a mirror to help you explore whether imposter feelings are interfering with your mental health and well-being.

Disclaimer: This is not an official diagnosis. If your results cause concern, reach out to a licensed mental health professional or healthcare provider for further guidance.

Why Take an Imposter Syndrome Test?

Everyone experiences self-doubt from time to time. But imposter syndrome goes beyond modesty. It’s a chronic internal struggle that can sabotage your success, relationships, and emotional wellness.

This test can help you:

  • Reflect on recurring thoughts of incompetence or fraudulence.
  • Understand how perfectionism, fear of failure, or external validation might be impacting your mental health.
  • Identify which type of imposter you relate to (e.g., The Perfectionist, The Soloist, The Natural Genius).
  • Gain clarity on whether it’s time to seek tools or support to overcome imposter syndrome.

Even high-achieving and successful individuals like doctors, artists, athletes, and more, can wrestle with imposter feelings. Recognizing the pattern is the first step toward self-compassion and healing.

Common Signs of Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome, sometimes called the impostor phenomenon, is not a mental health diagnosis, but it’s widely recognized by professionals and supported by decades of research.

People experiencing imposter syndrome often:

  • Attribute their achievements to luck, timing, or other external factors.
  • Dismiss compliments or positive feedback as inaccurate.
  • Set impossibly high standards for themselves (perfectionism).
  • Fear being “found out” or seen as incompetent.
  • Struggle with burnout due to chronic overworking.
  • Avoid asking for help, believing it confirms their inadequacy.

These patterns can quietly erode self-confidence and increase the risk of anxiety, depression, and exhaustion.

How the Imposter Syndrome Test Works

This imposter syndrome quiz draws from validated tools like the Clance Impostor Phenomenon Scale (CIPS) and the work of experts such as Dr. Valerie Young and Pauline Clance, PhD. It’s structured as a self-report questionnaire with questions that measure:

  • Feelings of self-doubt
  • Responses to success or failure
  • Relationship to hard work and competence
  • Perfectionist and soloist tendencies
  • Emotional reactions to external validation

Sample questions include:

  • Do you secretly worry others will discover you’re not as capable as they think?
  • Do you downplay your accomplishments even when others praise you?
  • Do you feel guilty for achieving more than others in your field or family?

The more frequently you answer “yes,” the more likely it is that imposter syndrome may be affecting your daily life and mental health.

What If You Score High?

A high score on the imposter syndrome test doesn’t mean you’re broken or unqualified. It simply suggests that you may be stuck in a pattern of negative thoughts that’s holding you back—and that healing is possible.

Here’s what to do next:

  1. Talk to a mental health professional, such as a therapist or psychologist. They can help you unpack imposter beliefs and develop healthier coping strategies.
  2. Explore the “Five Types” framework popularized by Valerie Young to better understand your unique imposter profile (e.g., The Perfectionist, The Soloist, The Superwoman/man).
  3. Practice reframing—learn to notice distorted thoughts and replace them with more compassionate, grounded truths.
  4. Join a support group or talk openly with peers. You’re not alone, and many people—especially women, BIPOC individuals, and first-gen professionals—struggle with imposter feelings.
  5. Celebrate your wins, no matter how small. Documenting success builds self-confidence and helps counter the belief that you’re just “faking it.”

When Imposter Syndrome Becomes a Mental Health Concern

Imposter syndrome can sometimes mask or amplify more serious mental health conditions, such as:

  • Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD)
  • Depression
  • Perfectionism-related burnout
  • Low self-esteem or chronic shame

These issues may be made worse by external pressures like social media comparison, academic or career competition, or family expectations. Left unaddressed, imposter feelings can lead to procrastination, fear of failure, and even withdrawal from opportunities.

The Five Types of Imposter Syndrome

Dr. Valerie Young identified five common patterns among people with imposter syndrome. Do any of these sound familiar?

  1. The Perfectionist: Sets unrealistically high goals and feels like a failure when they’re not met.
  2. The Natural Genius: Believes they must excel effortlessly. Struggles when learning takes time.
  3. The Soloist: Feels asking for help is a sign of weakness or incompetence.
  4. The Expert: Constantly seeks additional training or credentials to feel qualified.
  5. The Superperson: Pushes to work harder than everyone to prove worthiness.

Understanding your pattern can empower you to interrupt it and build self-confidence.

What the Imposter Syndrome Test Can—and Can’t—Do

It Can:

  • Help you identify unhelpful patterns and perfectionist thinking
  • Encourage honest reflection about your mental health and self-esteem
  • Motivate you to seek tools or support to improve your well-being

It Can’t:

  • Diagnose a mental illness or official condition
  • Account for all external or cultural influences shaping your identity
  • Replace the guidance of a licensed mental health professional

Treat the test as a jumping-off point, not a final verdict.

Who Should Take the Imposter Syndrome Test?

You may benefit from taking this quiz if you:

  • Struggle to internalize your accomplishments
  • Worry you’ll be “found out” as incompetent
  • Feel like you need to work harder than others to prove yourself
  • Avoid opportunities out of fear of failure or being exposed
  • Experience anxiety, burnout, or emotional exhaustion linked to performance

Recognizing imposter syndrome is a powerful step toward restoring self-worth, balance, and well-being.

Treatment and Support for Imposter Syndrome

There is no single “cure” for imposter syndrome, but there are effective ways to manage it:

  • Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) to challenge negative thought patterns and build self-confidence
  • Mindfulness and reframing exercises to stay grounded in facts—not fear
  • Coaching or mentorship for career-specific imposter challenges
  • Group therapy or peer support to reduce isolation and normalize experiences
  • Self-reflection practices like journaling, affirmations, or positive feedback logs

With time and the right tools, you can stop feeling like an imposter—and start showing up as the person you truly are.

Feeling like a fraud doesn’t mean you are one.

It means you care. You’re trying. And you deserve to feel secure in your success. The imposter syndrome test is one way to start rewriting the story and discovering that your worth isn’t tied to perfection, productivity, or external approval.

Resources and Next Steps

External Resources

FAQs

Q: Is imposter syndrome a real mental health diagnosis?

A: No, imposter syndrome is not listed in the DSM-5 as a formal diagnosis. However, it’s a widely recognized experience with serious effects on self-esteem and well-being. Many therapists address it through evidence-based treatment.

Q: Can I have imposter syndrome and still be successful?

A: Absolutely. In fact, imposter syndrome is common among high-achieving individuals. The disconnect lies not in your actual competence, but in how you perceive and internalize success.

Q: How do I know if I need professional help?

A: If imposter feelings are affecting your daily life, mental health, or relationships, a therapist can help you identify root causes and create a personalized treatment plan.

Q: Does perfectionism always mean I have imposter syndrome?

A: Not necessarily. But perfectionism often fuels imposter feelings by setting unrealistically high standards and feeding fear of failure. They frequently overlap.

Q: Can social media make imposter syndrome worse?

A: Yes. Constant comparison, curated successes, and unrealistic portrayals of life can intensify feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. Reducing social media exposure can help.

Q: How can I support a loved one struggling with imposter syndrome?

A: Offer validation and emotional support. Remind them of their strengths and accomplishments, and encourage them to talk to a mental health professional if needed.

Posted on

Narcissist Test: 10 Questions to Explore Your Traits and Understand What They Mean

Most people think of narcissism as arrogance or a constant need for attention. But narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum. Understanding where you or a loved one falls can be vital to self-awareness and healthier relationships.

Disclaimer: This self-assessment is not a clinical diagnosis. It is designed to support personal reflection. If you’re concerned about your results or someone else’s behavior, speak with a licensed mental health professional.

Why Take a Narcissist Self-Assessment?

You might be asking, “Am I a narcissist?” Or perhaps you’re trying to understand difficult dynamics with a loved one who constantly seeks validation, lacks empathy, or displays a persistent sense of entitlement.

Taking a narcissism test can help you:

  • Recognize narcissistic traits such as grandiosity, attention-seeking, or excessive admiration
  • Distinguish between high self-esteem and harmful patterns of narcissistic behavior
  • Understand your relationship with self-worth and how it affects the needs of others
  • Reflect on whether personality traits are interfering with your emotional health, relationships, or well-being

Self-awareness is powerful. And in cases of narcissistic tendencies, early insight can reduce harm to yourself and to those around you.

Signs and Traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a formal diagnosis outlined in the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). It falls under the category of Cluster B personality disorders, which include emotional, dramatic, or erratic thinking and behavior.

That said, not everyone with narcissistic traits has NPD. Traits may exist without meeting the full clinical criteria. Still, they can have a serious impact on your relationships, emotional regulation, and self-worth.

Common symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder include:

  • A sense of self-importance or inflated self-image
  • Belief in being unique or deserving of special treatment
  • Intense need for excessive admiration
  • Difficulty recognizing or responding to the needs of others
  • Using others for personal gain without remorse
  • Envy of others or belief that others are envious of you
  • Arrogant or entitled behavior, often displayed in subtle or overt ways
  • Lack of empathy, particularly in emotionally vulnerable situations

It’s also important to recognize vulnerabilities that may be hidden beneath narcissistic behavior—like fragile self-esteem, deep shame, or unresolved childhood experiences that shaped self-image.

Understanding the Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI)

The NPI is one of the most widely used screening instruments for narcissism in the general population. It was originally developed to assess levels of narcissism through a series of forced-choice questions that examine personality traits.

While the NPI isn’t a diagnostic tool, it can point toward behaviors such as:

  • Enjoying being the center of attention
  • Feeling superior to others
  • Being preoccupied with success, power, or beauty
  • Resisting criticism or blame
  • Having difficulty maintaining healthy, mutual relationships

In clinical settings, the NPI might be used alongside other personality disorder tests, structured interviews, and assessments to determine whether someone meets the criteria for NPD.

What If You Score High on a Narcissist Test?

Scoring high doesn’t mean you’re irredeemable—or that you’re automatically living with a personality disorder. It simply suggests that your personality traits or behaviors may be affecting your well-being or that of others.

If you’re concerned about your score, here’s what you can do next:

  1. Speak to a licensed mental health professional, preferably someone with experience in personality disorders or psychotherapy.
  2. Consider cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), which is shown to help people improve emotional insight, empathy, and relationship skills.
  3. Reflect on your self-image and how it was shaped. Narcissistic tendencies often stem from early life experiences that impacted a person’s sense of safety or identity.
  4. Be honest with yourself about how your actions affect those around you—including partners, friends, and colleagues.
  5. Recognize that the goal isn’t shame, it’s growth.

For those with loved ones who exhibit narcissistic behavior, understanding the difference between occasional self-focus and a diagnosable disorder is critical for protecting your own mental health.

Narcissism vs. Confidence: What’s the Difference?

It’s easy to confuse confidence with narcissism, but the motivations behind each are quite different.

Confidence is grounded in realistic self-worth, empathy, and mutual respect. It doesn’t require tearing others down to feel good.

Narcissistic behavior, on the other hand, often involves:

  • Inflated self-importance at the expense of others
  • Dismissal of constructive feedback
  • Manipulation, such as gaslighting, to protect ego
  • A craving for admiration to soothe a fragile sense of self

Being confident means you value yourself. Being narcissistic means you need others to reflect your worth constantly and may react negatively when they don’t.

What the Narcissist Test Can and Can’t Tell You

What it can do:

  • Highlight patterns that suggest narcissistic tendencies
  • Encourage deeper self-exploration or professional assessment
  • Help loved ones better understand troubling behavior

What it can’t do:

  • Diagnose NPD or any other mental health condition
  • Determine your motives or the emotional experiences behind your actions
  • Replace a clinical evaluation by a licensed mental health professional

A narcissism test can be an illuminating first step, but understanding and healing often require therapeutic work.

Who Should Take a Narcissist Test?

This test may be helpful if you:

  • Regularly feel the need to be admired, praised, or recognized
  • Notice conflict in relationships around validation or emotional connection
  • Struggle with taking accountability or responding to others’ needs
  • Are concerned you may be showing narcissistic traits in how you relate to others
  • Want to understand a loved one’s behavior that feels dismissive, manipulative, or overly self-centered

Whether you’re exploring your own behavior or trying to understand someone else’s, this questionnaire can offer clarity and a place to start.

Treatment Options for Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Treatment for NPD focuses on long-term behavioral and emotional change. It’s challenging work, but with support, it’s possible to make meaningful progress.

Effective treatment options may include:

  • Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) to build insight, challenge distorted thinking, and improve empathy
  • Psychodynamic therapy to explore childhood experiences and attachment wounds
  • Group therapy, especially in structured environments, to practice relational skills
  • Medication, in cases where anxiety, depression, or other co-occurring conditions are present
  • Ongoing support from a mental health professional trained in personality disorders

Narcissistic traits can soften over time with effort, self-reflection, and guidance.

Narcissism can be confusing, especially when it shows up subtly in yourself or someone you care about. But understanding it is the first step toward change, healing, and clarity.

The narcissist test isn’t a judgment. It’s an opportunity to reflect, identify patterns, and move toward healthier ways of relating to yourself and others. Whether your results raised questions or confirmed concerns, you have options and you’re not alone in seeking answers.

Resources and Next Steps

External Resources:

FAQs

Q: Can someone change if they have narcissistic personality disorder?


A: Yes, but change requires consistent effort and a willingness to engage in therapy. While NPD is a deeply ingrained condition, many people can reduce narcissistic behaviors and improve relationships through long-term treatment.

Q: What causes narcissistic traits to develop?

A: Narcissism may be shaped by a combination of genetics, early attachment issues, emotional neglect, or excessive praise and criticism during childhood. These factors affect self-image and coping strategies.

Q: Is it harmful to call someone a narcissist without a diagnosis?

A: Labeling someone without understanding the full picture can be harmful. Narcissism is complex, and casual use of the term may invalidate real pain or oversimplify deeper issues. Focus on behaviors, not labels.

Q: Are all narcissists abusive?

A: Not all people with narcissistic traits are abusive. However, some may engage in manipulation, gaslighting, or emotional neglect. It’s important to prioritize your well-being and seek help if you’re in a toxic dynamic.

Q: What’s the difference between narcissism and NPD?

A: Narcissism refers to a range of traits that exist on a spectrum. NPD is a clinical diagnosis that reflects a rigid, pervasive pattern of these traits, typically confirmed through a mental health assessment.

Q: Can therapy help people with narcissistic tendencies even if they don’t have NPD?

A: Absolutely. Many people with narcissistic traits benefit from therapy, especially when they’re motivated to improve relationships and self-awareness.

Posted on

How Traumatic Invalidation Leads to Personality Disorders

Invalidation takes many forms, from obvious “I don’t believe you”s to more subtle reactions, like not listening or telling you how your experience should feel. When someone doesn’t accept or believe your experiences and emotions, it invalidates them and can lead to numerous psychological effects, including personality disorders.

Invalidation that extends over a long period of time with intensity is considered traumatic, as it alters your perception of self and others. Traumatic invalidation often occurs in childhood from caregivers, and its effects can last well into adulthood.

But you can learn how to validate your experiences and heal from the results of traumatic invalidation, one day at a time.

Understanding Traumatic Invalidation

Traumatic invalidation stems from intentional or unintentional emotional abuse, most often in childhood1. It happens when a parent or other caregiver repeatedly invalidates their child’s experiences or emotions. This can happen from childhood into adulthood, depending on if the parent or caregiver recognizes and wants to change their behavior. A few examples of traumatic invalidation include:

  • A parent acting disgusted or disappointed when their child cries or shows emotion. The parent makes it known their response isn’t valid or acceptable.
  • Minimizing someone’s negative experiences by saying, “It could be worse,” “At least it’s not…” or challenging it with something they went through that they believe is worse.
  • Berating and name-calling, like “You’re being such a baby about this.”
  • Villianizing emotions and sadness by saying “You’re always crying” or “I’ll give you something to cry about.”
  • Facial expressions, purposeful ignoring, and body language can be more subtle forms of invalidation, but equally hurtful.

Why Do People Do It?

Many people don’t intend to invalidate someone’s feelings and experiences. For parents especially, they may do it by accident since they don’t know how else to communicate or have their emotional availability lowered due to a mental health condition or stressor. But its effects remain regardless of intent.

Some parents, friends, or romantic partners may use traumatic invalidation as a means of control and harm. For instance, they might be the abuser themselves, dismissing or denying the victim’s experiences to prevent them from seeking help or breaking free from their influence. This form of invalidation not only erodes self-esteem but also creates doubt about your reality, making it harder to recognize the abuse and reach out for support.

Traumatic invalidation can also stem from racism and prejudice towards minorities2, like LGBTQ+ people, women, and people of color. These groups are less likely to have their experiences and perceptions believed. This can lead to microaggressions and ongoing stress for minorities.

Connection to Personality Disorders

Traumatic invalidation has been connected most strongly to borderline personality disorder (BPD)3. This means children who experience traumatic invalidation were found more likely to develop BPD, plus other cluster B personality disorders. Here’s a quick overview of those and BPD:

  • BPD’s symptoms4 include an intense fear of abandonment and efforts to prevent it, uncontrollable emotions, unstable relationships, and suicidality. Someone with BPD fluctuates from extreme emotions and seeing people as all good or all bad, which can start and end relationships quickly.
  • Narcissistic personality disorder’s (NPD) symptoms5 include entitlement, lack of empathy, grandiosity, and a need for excessive and constant admiration. Someone with NPD struggles to function if they’re not the center of attention, as their sense of self-worth depends on it.
  • Antisocial personality disorder’s (APD) symptoms6 include lying to, manipulating, or harming others for personal gain or pleasure without remorse. Someone with APD is generally prone to violence and criminal behavior. 

Other personality disorders fall into clusters B, C, and A7. Cluster C includes anxious personalities and cluster A includes eccentric, like schizotypal. Traumatic invalidation generally correlates to cluster B.

Traumatic Invalidation as the Starting Point

Not every case of BPD or other personality disorder starts with traumatic invalidation, but it often does. BPD in particular, while it doesn’t have a primary cause, often stems from emotional instability in childhood. This could include traumatic invalidation, emotional abuse, and other traumas, like physical or sexual abuse.

Traumatic invalidation can lead to low self-worth, an unstable sense of self, and difficulties with forming and maintaining relationships. These effects can form the blocks of a personality disorder like BPD.

Traumatic invalidation often happens in childhood. Similarly, personality disorders typically develop in adolescence, showing more prominently after age 18. Signs of traumatic invalidation may first show through symptoms of a personality disorder in later teen years.

Psychological Mechanisms at Play

Repeated invalidation can cause critical damage to self esteem and personal identity. To cope with the confusion, shame, and disorientation caused by a parent or caregiver dismissing emotions and experiences, someone may use substances. This can numb emotions and connect people to others who use substances, giving them a sense of belonging and community lacked in childhood. 

Similarly, teens may engage in a sport, art form, or academic perfection to find another source of validation and support. While the activity itself may not be harmful, reliance on it can damage their sense of self and self-worth.

The Rocky Road of Relationships

Traumatic invalidation can make relationships, romantic or otherwise, a confusing and daunting experience. Difficulty with relationships is a hallmark of personality disorders8 like BPD, too. 

After traumatic invalidation, someone may intensely pursue relationships and use them to dictate their identity. Or, they may avoid relationships since that’s what caused them harm as a child—people can seem unreliable, mean, and untrustworthy after traumatic invalidation. Unstable relationships can deepen their sense of invalidation and further shroud their sense of self. 

Treatment and Therapeutic Approaches

Professional treatment can heal the effects of traumatic invalidation by reshaping how someone views themselves and their emotions. Therapy can re-validate someone’s experiences and feelings, helping old wounds heal and their true identity come to light. 

For example, a therapist trained in healing traumatic invalidation can help their client realize

  • Their emotions, past and present, are real, valid, and important. And then, how does that change how they feel about themselves?
  • What happened wasn’t okay or deserved. But healing is.
  • They don’t need other people to decide how they feel and what they’re allowed to feel. 
  • They can challenge others’ perceptions and feelings with truths about themselves.

Treating traumatic invalidation can also address a personality disorder. Those with personality disorders often stay in treatment throughout the ups and downs of their life, learning how to navigate their symptoms and develop the skills needed to maintain positive relationships. Their therapist may use dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) which was specifically developed for BPD; it helps people shift from black-and-white thinking and regulate their emotions before they harm themselves or others.

Preventing Traumatic Invalidation: Countering with Truth

As an adult, you have the opportunity to challenge invalidation from your parents or other sources, like friends, partners, or other family members. Their opinions and reactions don’t define you or what you experience. 

If you sense someone is trying, purposefully or not, to invalidate you, you can challenge the feeling either to yourself or out loud in conversation. Here’s what you can reflect on:

  • Is this coming as helpful feedback to offer me perspective, or to minimize my experience and emotions?
  • What gives this person the authority to challenge my experiences?
  • If they have a different perspective, are they leaving room for what I believe is true and treating my emotions with respect?

Conversation Examples

This is how using this truth-focused approach in a conversation could go:

  1. “That’s not at all what happened. She wasn’t trying to say that; you shouldn’t have got so upset.”

“It’s what I experienced, and how the experience made me feel.”

  1. “You’re taking this too seriously. If you just tried to relax more or calm down you wouldn’t feel like this.”

“No, this is how I feel and it’s okay to feel it. My experience was upsetting to me.”  

  1. “That’s not true. You should have done _____.”

“Since you weren’t there and haven’t experienced this yourself, I’ll believe my truth.”

Healing With Support and Community

Traumatic invalidation effects don’t last forever; nor do personality disorders with proper treatment. You can learn to validate your experiences, feel secure in how you feel, and use your community to gain new perspectives—delivered with respect. 
As iron sharpens iron, so you and your peers can learn and heal together. Using Recovery.com you can also find a rehab for personality disorders and compare prices, locations, amenities, and more.

Posted on

Overcoming Lying Addiction: A Guide to Honesty

It’s not uncommon for people to tell an occasional white lie. But for some people, it becomes a way of life. 

Most people tell between zero to 2 lies per day. But people who lie compulsively may tell 5 to 20. What drives this addiction to spinning untruths, and what can be done to stop it? 

We look at the causes of lying addiction, how it affects relationships, and strategies for lasting change.

Understanding Lying Addiction

None of us like to think we lie. But the truth is, everyone tells relatively harmless fibs here and there. Pathological lying, however, takes lying to the next level. 

Some behavioral health professionals advocate for classifying pathological lying as a mental health disorder.1 But it’s difficult to define by itself, as it’s a common trait of so many other mental health disorders. 

“Pathological lying isn’t considered a mental health disorder,”2 says psychiatrist Dr. Tracey Marks. “It’s a behavioral disturbance that’s often a part of certain disorders, like antisocial personality disorder or brain damage from alcohol.” 

Unlike telling your friend they look great in a questionable outfit, pathological lying is compulsive, and the lies don’t have a clear motive or benefit. It’s lying for the sake of lying.  

So what causes someone to become a habitual liar? 

The Psychology Behind Compulsive Lying

Some people lie out of a need for approval or fear of rejection. They might try to create a more attractive image of themselves to compensate for low self-esteem. In this case, lying might give them a temporary boost or shield them from feeling inadequate.

Some people struggle with impulse control, which can cause them to lie without considering the consequences. Impulse control disorders3 may coexist with other mental health conditions.

If you fear the consequences of your actions, you might lie to avoid being punished or criticized, or feeling ashamed. 

On the other hand, if feel neglected or overlooked, you may resort to lying to gain attention and validation. This can be a way to ensure that others show an interest in you. 

According to licensed therapist Kati Morton, compulsive lying doesn’t need to have an external motivation.4 Some people simply “don’t think their life is interesting enough.” 

Eventually, lying can become a habitual response to a range of situations. And once it becomes ingrained, it’s hard to stop even if you see the damage it’s doing to your life.

Underlying Mental Health Disorders 

Excessive lying is a symptom of several different mental health diagnoses, and is especially common among cluster B personality disorders:

For some people living with these diagnoses, lying is a core trait of the disorder.5 One example of this is borderline personality disorder, or BPD. According to psychiatrists:  

These patients often lack a consistent self-identity and hold contradictory views of themselves…Such distortions of reality complicated by a lack of impulse control and the defense mechanisms of primitive denial, idealization, and devaluation are fertile grounds for pathological lying.

Pathological lying is also a core trait of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Lee Hammock, who identifies as a self-aware, diagnosed narcissist, explains how someone with NPD benefits from lying:6 

One reason why narcissists lie all the time is for control. Yes, you can easily lose control by lying so much. But lying in the moment means you get to control the narrative; you get to control the situation, which sometimes means you get to control the outcome…Another reason narcissists lie so much is because it’s fun. It is fun to manipulate a situation with lies and watch how things work out.

Some people may lie as a coping strategy to survive symptoms of depression or anxiety.

Compulsive lying is also sometimes associated with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). If you’re lying to compensate for obsessive thinking, treating underlying OCD could also address the lying.  

You could also be more likely to struggle with excessive lying if you grew up in a chaotic environment, or if one of your parents had an unresolved mental health issue. 

The Impact of Lying on Relationships and Self

Lying can have deep, detrimental effects on both your relationships and your sense of self. 

How Lying Affects Relationships 

  • It erodes trust. Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Lying, on the other hand, breeds doubts and suspicions that erode its foundation.
  • It compromises communication: Honest and open communication is crucial to relationships. When lies are present, they challenge your ability to maintain genuine connection and understanding.
  • Lying creates emotional distance: Deceived partners tend to withdraw emotionally to protect themselves from further hurt.
  • It damages intimacy: Intimacy is built on trust and vulnerability. Lying damages the bond between partners, making them hesitant to share their true feelings.
  • It breeds resentment: Discovering lies creates conflict and, over time, leads to resentment. It may become increasingly challenging to resolve issues as the foundation of trust is compromised.

If left unchecked, excessive lying can ultimately cause relationships to break down. Once trust is shattered, rebuilding it is a challenging and lengthy process.

Professional Consequences of Lying

Trust is also a critical component of professional relationships. Once it’s compromised, colleagues, superiors, and clients may question your credibility.

  • Negative impact on leadership: If you’re in a leadership role, lying can undermine your ability to lead effectively. People lose confidence in leaders who aren’t perceived as truthful and transparent.
  • Impaired team dynamics: Lying can disrupt the cohesion and collaboration within your team. Team members may be hesitant to work with someone who has a history of dishonesty.
  • Reduced productivity: Lack of transparency can hinder your team’s ability to do their work efficiently and effectively.
  • Missed opportunities: Lying can result in missed opportunities for projects, promotions, or collaborations. Employers may be hesitant to entrust significant responsibilities to someone with a history of dishonesty. 

Depending on their nature, lies in the workplace can result in disciplinary or even legal action. 

Career growth is tied to trustworthiness and integrity. People who lie may find their professional development stunted, as employers seek to invest in people they can trust.

How Lying Affects Your Relationship With Yourself

Your relationship with yourself is the longest and most important relationship you have. It’s also the one that suffers the worst consequences of lying: 

  • Guilt and shame: These emotions can weigh heavily on your self-worth and damage your self-image.
  • Isolation: Fear of being discovered can cause you to withdraw from social situations. The resulting loneliness further damages your self-esteem.
  • Loss of self-respect: Continuously lying can cause you to lose respect for yourself. Knowing that your actions are dishonest creates internal conflict.
  • Self-deception: People who lie habitually may convince themselves that their lies are justified or necessary. This can lead to a distorted sense of self and a lack of authentic identity.

Ultimately, lying leads to a worse quality of life. Maintaining the web of lies requires effort and constant vigilance to avoid exposure. And that ongoing stress and anxiety take a toll on your well-being. 

Signs You Might Be Addicted to Lying

What are the signs that you or someone you know might be caught in a loop of lying?

1. Frequent Lying for No Apparent Reason

Unlike the occasional lies told by most people, pathological lying is a chronic behavior. It’s not limited to specific situations or circumstances. Rather, it becomes a pervasive and regular pattern.

According to psychiatric research on pathological lying,7 “functional elements of the phenomenon are: the repeated utterance of untruths; the lies are often repeated over a period of years, with the lies eventually becoming a lifestyle.”

Sometimes, lying becomes so habitual that people don’t even notice they’re doing it. To them, it seems like normal conversation or casual storytelling. 

It’s important to note that compulsive lies are not delusions. That is, people telling them don’t believe they’re true. Sometimes, though, if someone tells a lie repeatedly over a long enough time, they start to believe themselves.

2. Attention-Seeking

Constantly seeking validation, pathological liars may fabricate stories to make themselves appear more interesting, accomplished, or victimized than they really are.

Dr. Christian Hart of Texas Woman’s University says a main hallmark of compulsive lying is that the lies are aimed at getting attention:8

One of the patterns that we tend to see perhaps more than you would see in your typical everyday form of liar is lies that are aimed at bringing attention on oneself. That’s the biggest distinction that we see. 

3. Impulsivity

The lies told by pathological liars are often impulsive and not well-planned. They may create stories on the spot without considering the consequences.

For some people, like those with Cluster B personality disorders, lying may be an intentional and key part of their goals of manipulation. But for others, it’s purely impulsive. One study on pathological lying finds that “Material reward or social advantage does not appear to be the primary motivating force but the lying is an end in itself; an inner dynamic rather than an external reason drives the lies, the lies are often woven into complex narratives.”9

Someone’s reasons for lying, and how they feel about lying, may vary if their compulsive lying is tied to an underlying mental health condition.

Whatever the cause of your lying is, self-awareness is the first step to change.

Strategies to Overcome Lying Addiction

Once you start to believe your own lies, it gets harder to know what the truth is—and harder to be in an honest relationship with yourself. Some people get so lost in the lies they can’t dig their way out. 

Before that happens, you can develop strategies to address what’s driving this behavior, and start to flex your honesty muscles. 

Acknowledging the Problem

Admitting to yourself that lying is a problem is a foundational step toward recovery. This shows your commitment to change and willingness to address the issues that cause your compulsive behavior. 

The act of acknowledgment can be empowering in and of itself. After all, it marks the beginning of a journey in which you actively participate in shaping a more accurate and authentic narrative.

Seeking Professional Help

Professional support can be hugely beneficial when changing deeply ingrained patterns like compulsive lying. A qualified therapist or counselor can help you work through underlying problems and implement strategies for behavioral change. They can help you develop healthy communication skills so you can express yourself authentically and build relationships based on mutual trust. And, they can identify and create a treatment plan for any co-occurring disorders.

Group therapy and support groups are non-judgmental spaces where you can open up about your struggles with lying. This safe environment encourages honest self-reflection and discussion about sensitive issues.

Building Honesty Skills

Building honesty skills is a gradual process that involves self-reflection, awareness, and the development of new habits, and is most effective with professional guidance. Your therapist might use these strategies to help you adopt more honest behaviors:

  • Pausing before responding: Learning mindfulness practices can help you create mental space to pause in conversation before responding impulsively with a lie.
  • Reflecting on the consequences of lying: Before lying, consciously consider the potential outcomes of being dishonest. Understanding the repercussions might be a deterrent.
  • Practice transparency: Practice open communication with people you trust. Share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences honestly, fostering a habit of openness. Surrounding yourself with friends who value honesty and act with integrity can also reinforce the importance of truthful behavior.

To take on this journey, you’ll need to get clear on your personal values. Cultivating a strong sense of integrity can guide your decision-making towards greater honesty.

Tools and Techniques for Lasting Change

Because there’s a lack of attention paid to pathological lying, there’s no standard treatment protocol. But like any major life change, therapeutic intervention helps. Your treatment team can tailor a strategy to your needs, which may include a combination of methods:  

  • Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) helps you identify what thought process your behaviors are coming from, then work on disrupting and changing it. 
  • Behavioral rehearsal lets you practice alternative, truthful responses to common situations that trigger dishonesty. You might role-play scenarios to reinforce new behaviors.
  • Journaling promotes self-awareness of which thoughts, emotions, and situations are associated with lying, helping you identify patterns and triggers.
  • Daily affirmations can shift your focus to more honesty and integrity, and galvanize your desire for positive change.
  • Role models can inspire and provide guidance on what honest behavior looks like.
  • Setting realistic goals for building honesty empowers you to break down the process into achievable steps and set a clear path for lasting change.
  • Rewarding yourself for staying honest, and celebrating milestones along the way, reinforces positive behavior.

Recovery is never easy. But once you decide to break free from the cycle of deceit, you can work toward building more authentic relationships.

Healing and Rebuilding Trust in Relationships

Being lied to can trigger trauma and grief, and whether your partner chooses to forgive you is up to them. It may take them some time to gain clarity on where they stand, and you can’t force them to speed up their process. In the meantime, you can give your relationship the best chance of healing by taking accountability, apologizing sincerely, keeping promises, and showing your commitment to change through consistent actions. 

Research shows that “trust harmed by untrustworthy behavior can be effectively restored when individuals observe a consistent series of trustworthy actions.” Trust harmed by the same untrustworthy actions and deception, however, never fully recovers. Promising to change is one thing, but trust can be further broken if your actions don’t match your words. 

Not all relationships can be repaired. Forgiving and forgetting when behavior hasn’t changed only further enables unhealthy patterns.  

Taking accountability and making sincere efforts to be honest might mean there’s hope for your relationship. “If not, it may be difficult to move forward in the relationship,”10 says therapist Laura Sgro. “Sometimes the most helpful solution is to distance yourself.” 

Maintaining Honesty: A Lifelong Commitment

Maintaining honesty is an ongoing effort. But with the right treatment and plan for improvement, you can hold yourself accountable and cultivate a more reliable relationship with yourself and the people around you. 

Taking steps to get better shows a genuine desire to repair damaged relationships by addressing the root cause of your lying behavior. And, as with any recovery process, the sooner you get help, the better.

To learn more about your options, search our list of mental health treatment programs and reach out to admissions staff directly today.