Bryon’s story, shared on the Giving Voice to Addiction Podcast by Recovery.com, is a powerful testament to the fact that recovery is possible, no matter how deep the descent into addiction. His journey, marked by a gradual slide into alcohol dependence and a profound moment of clarity, offers invaluable insights for anyone grappling with substance use.
Addiction, as Bryon poignantly illustrates, doesn’t discriminate. It can creep into anyone’s life, often disguised as a harmless way to unwind, before tightening its grip. But within the darkness of addiction lies the potential for a powerful rebirth, a “phoenix rising” as Bryon describes it, towards a life filled with hope and sobriety.
The Subtle Inception of Dependence
Bryon’s relationship with alcohol began innocuously. In his words, “It was my friend for a long time.” His early experiences in the military involved partying, but it wasn’t until later in life, during a seemingly prosperous period, that alcohol began to take a more central role. The casual evening drink gradually increased in frequency and strength.
As Bryon reflects, “There was nothing intentional. And most alcoholics will say it starts fun. It was fun. So a way to wind down the day.” This highlights a crucial aspect of addiction: it often begins subtly, masked as a social lubricant or a way to relieve stress, making it easy to overlook the gradual shift towards dependence.
The Turning Point: When “Fun” Turns to Necessity
The dynamic shifted significantly for Bryon after his divorce and during a stressful real estate deal. He recounts, “It was just this constant struggle to try to stay ahead of this property before I went bankrupt… Anyway, so there happens to be a liquor store on the way there, so me and this other guy would get in there in the morning and he’d have his Diet Coke and fill it up and I have my Diet Coke and fill it up. And that was the beginning of the day drinking.” This marked a critical transition from recreational use to a daily necessity, a coping mechanism to navigate overwhelming stress.
The “Soft Landing” That Was Anything But
Bryon describes his experience as a “soft landing,” contrasting it with the more outwardly destructive paths of some other alcoholics. However, his personal account reveals the profound impact of his drinking. He lost track of days, culminating in a terrifying incident where police officers conducted a welfare check, finding him with a blood alcohol level of 0.38.
“I woke up one time and I had six police officers around me… My blood alcohol was uh, 0.38. So, I mean, I was, 38% of my blood was alcohol. How much more of that could I have tolerated? I don’t think very much.” This stark reality underscores that even without overt legal consequences, the internal and personal devastation of alcoholism is immense.
The Downward Spiral and the Need for Intervention
Bryon vividly describes the insidious nature of addiction: “With an alcoholic, you just I, I just slid down this path where every time I would be afraid, afraid I would just have a drink. And then I’d have 2 drinks and I’d have 5 drinks, and then I don’t have to think about it at all. So you just continue sliding down and down. And then at the end of the day. I can break my shoelace and I just wanna go drink ’cause that’s the only tool that I have left.” This illustrates the progressive isolation and reliance on alcohol as the sole means of navigating life, emphasizing the importance of breaking this cycle.
Recognizing the Need for Change
For Bryon, the realization that he had a drinking problem came relatively quickly. “So I realized within about only about 4 or 5 years that I immediately decided I had a drinking problem and I went immediately and got in, involved in that and made the decision to stop drinking.” This swift recognition, though not always the case for everyone, was a pivotal step in his journey towards recovery.
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The Power of a Personal “Red Roof”
Bryon’s story takes a profound turn when he describes 2 pivotal moments that solidified his desire for sobriety. The first was a seemingly divine experience while driving, hearing the words, “So you want to see a miracle?” followed by the breathtaking beauty of a valley.
The second, and perhaps more relatable, was the overwhelming exhaustion during a hike in the Grand Canyon, followed by an unexpected surge of energy and hope upon seeing the “red roof” of the welcome center. “I stepped up and I looked over the top. I could see the red roof of the welcome center where we started. And in that moment I felt, I felt hope… That to me was how this moment was. It was like for whatever reason, I felt I could do it. I could walk because I had hope.” This “red roof” became a powerful metaphor for a tangible goal, a beacon of hope that propelled him forward.
The Nature of Hope in Recovery
Bryon beautifully articulates the role of hope in overcoming addiction: “That’s what alcoholism is. I mean, you’re, you’re hapless, hopeless, helpless to the next drink, and then for whatever reason, there’s this moment and you can then walk the mile.” This highlights that while addiction can strip away feelings of agency, the re-emergence of hope can be the catalyst for change, providing the strength to embark on the challenging journey of recovery.
Facing Fears and Embracing a New Life
Recovery, as Bryon describes it, is about confronting the underlying issues that fuel the addiction. “Life begins where your, your fear ends. And that’s what that is. I mean, if you’re drinking, you’re drinking to hide from something, whatever that is, and at some moment you’re gonna find the strength and the hope to face whatever it is that’s, that’s making you want to drink.” This process involves an “ascension out of the darkness” towards a “rebirth,” where one learns new, healthy coping mechanisms to deal with life’s challenges.
Finding Your Own Path to Recovery
Bryon’s experience with seeking help was unique. While he attended AA meetings and found a sponsor, he resisted traditional in-house treatment, driven by a desire for autonomy. “Well, when I ended up going to the VA 2 times, and the second time I went to the VA they kinda had a family meeting and said, well, if you don’t do this…you’re not gonna be able to be around the grandkids… It was like…I’m not doing this. I don’t want this as my life and uh, I can do this myself.” Instead, he focused on self-education, incorporating self-hypnosis, meditation, manifestation, and Stoic philosophy into his recovery.
The Importance of Diverse Treatment Options
Bryon’s story underscores the significance of offering a range of treatment options. As Caroline Beidler points out, resources like Recovery.com provide individuals with the ability to search for specific types of support that resonate with their needs, whether it’s a focus on veterans, a specific location, or particular therapeutic approaches. This personalized approach can be crucial for individuals who may feel resistant to more traditional forms of treatment.
Finding Connection and Shared Experience
Bryon emphasized the value of connecting with others in recovery. “The other thing is you find a group of people that understand who you are and you, you want examples of where you’re going… Just talking to them and sharing their stories and listening to that and having that to look forward to.” Hearing the stories of others who have successfully navigated recovery can provide immense hope and practical guidance.
Filling the Void with Positive Activities
Sobriety often leaves a void that was previously filled by alcohol. Bryon highlights the importance of actively engaging in positive activities to fill this time. “If you drank all the time and then now you don’t drink, you have nothing but time. So you have to fill those things with positives, so you have to decide what you enjoy.” This proactive approach helps to build a fulfilling life in recovery.
Reframing Identity: From “Alcoholic” to “Recovering”
Bryon offers a powerful shift in perspective regarding identity. “My message to everybody who is going through this is number one is don’t define yourself by your alcoholism. Refine yourself with alcoholism… You can one day say, I refined that view and I used to drink. I don’t drink anymore.” This emphasizes that addiction is a part of one’s story, but it doesn’t have to be the defining characteristic. Recovery is an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.
The Power of Choice
Bryon doesn’t shy away from the stark reality of untreated alcoholism. “See we’re, we have a disease that’s 100% fatal. If you do not address your alcoholism, it’s 100% fatal.” However, he immediately follows this with a message of empowerment: “Once you find control, you have a choice to rebuild your life in any manner that you want… there’s nothing beyond your control. You are not hapless, helpless, or hopeless.” Recovery is a choice, and with support and determination, a fulfilling life is attainable.
The Transformative Power of Sobriety
Bryon’s personal transformation is a beacon of hope. “I’ve made all my money back. I’m a, a successful day trader. I have all my family. Everything’s back.” He acknowledges that this reality seemed unimaginable during his active addiction, emphasizing the profound positive changes that sobriety can bring.
Reaching Out and Finding Your “Red Roof”
Bryon’s final message is one of hope and action. “For those that really want it to be done, you’ll find that point. And then you need to reach out for people like me who are in the AA program or whatever program that you choose, and you go there and you say I’m an alcoholic and I need help. And there are millions of people that will help you. What you have to realize is that there is hope. There is a red roof for you and you have to go and walk to it. And that’s a choice.”
Bryon’s powerful story reminds us that while the journey of addiction can be dark and isolating, recovery is not only possible but can lead to a life beyond what once seemed imaginable. Finding your “red roof,” that personal beacon of hope, and taking the courageous steps towards it, is the key to unlocking a future filled with sobriety and renewed purpose.
