Tag: Suicidality

Posted on

Coping with Childhood Trauma: 8 Ways to Overcome Alcohol Addiction and Anxiety with Kori Leigh

Life isn’t happening to you; it’s just happening. This profound realization, shared by Kori Leigh, a writer, recovery mentor, and host of The Kori Leigh Show podcast, is a cornerstone of her recovery journey. She challenges the common notion that life’s hardships are a personal attack, instead reframing them as neutral events to be navigated. In a powerful conversation on Recoverycast, Kori shared her story of navigating profound childhood trauma, a destructive battle with addiction, and the eventual surrender that led to a life of purpose and faith.

Before she reached sobriety in 2016, Kori’s life was a maelstrom of rage, self-hatred, and chaotic substance use, all stemming from a traumatic childhood. Her narrative isn’t just about overcoming addiction; it’s a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the transformative power of a 12-step recovery program. Kori’s story is a raw and honest look at how unresolved trauma can fuel addiction and how the painful process of facing one’s past is the only way to build a future worth living.

1. Childhood Trauma as a Catalyst

From a young age, Kori’s world was marked by loss and emotional turmoil. Her older brother died from a heart condition when she was an infant, and her father passed away from a brain aneurysm when she was six years old. The trauma of losing her father, a man she adored, left a deep, indelible mark on her psyche. As a child, she struggled to comprehend the arbitrary nature of his death and developed a deep-seated hatred for God and a profound distrust of life itself.

“I hated God for taking my dad,” Kori shared. This anger became her primary coping mechanism, manifesting as rage, resentment, and a feeling of being abandoned by the very fabric of existence. This early trauma set the stage for a lifetime of seeking escape, a pattern that would later lead her down the path of addiction. The sudden, unexplained loss shattered her sense of safety and made her feel like a “puppy that had fallen off the back of the truck,” left to fend for herself in a world that seemed inherently hostile.

See trauma treatment centers.

2. The Illusion of Control: The “Perfect” Double Life

Throughout her addiction, Kori maintained a facade of success and normalcy. She was a personal trainer, a marathon runner, and an author. She built a life that, from the outside, appeared to be thriving. This is a classic hallmark of high-functioning addiction—the ability to hide the chaos and destruction behind a veneer of accomplishment. For Kori, her athletic achievements and professional success were not sources of pride but rather tools for denial.

“No one can tell with me,” she stated, reflecting on her ability to mask her struggles. She believed that her outward success was proof that she didn’t have a problem, an idea that many people with substance use disorders cling to. This double life was a way to manage the intense shame and self-hatred that festered beneath the surface. It was a vicious cycle of self-harm, emotional chaos, and intense self-criticism.

This dual existence is a common theme in the lives of high-functioning addicts. They often excel in their careers, maintain social relationships, and engage in physically demanding activities, all while battling a severe addiction in secret. The shame and fear of exposure drive them to work even harder to maintain the illusion of control, making it incredibly difficult for loved ones to recognize the problem. The facade crumbles only when the addiction becomes so severe that it can no longer be hidden.

Explore alcohol addiction treatment centers.

3. The Onset of Addiction: “I Was a Blackout Party Girl”

Kori’s substance use began in her teens, but it didn’t escalate into full-blown addiction until her mid-twenties. Her drug of choice wasn’t a daily habit but a weekend-long bender, a pattern of “blackout party girl” drinking that she believed absolved her of having a problem.

“I always thought an addict, an alcoholic was like daily. They drank in the morning, they drank like warm, cheap beer under a bridge,” Kori explained, highlighting a common misconception about alcoholism. “I was like a blackout party girl on the weekend, but my weekend was like Thursday to Sunday.”

This pattern of binge drinking, despite not being a daily habit, is a dangerous form of addiction that can cause significant physical and mental health issues. It’s a form of high-risk drinking that can lead to alcohol poisoning, accidents, and a host of long-term health problems.

Kori’s story is a powerful reminder that addiction doesn’t always fit the stereotypical mold. It can be a series of blackouts, a cycle of shame and denial, and a desperate attempt to escape from an inner world of pain and self-loathing. The chaotic lifestyle, losing her car, and the constant fear of what she had done the night before became her new normal.

4. The Rock Bottom: A Spiritual Breaking Point

The path to recovery often begins with a moment of profound crisis, a “rock bottom” where the illusion of control shatters completely. For Kori, this moment was not a single event but a slow, agonizing slide into a level of darkness she could no longer ignore. After a series of destructive relationships fueled by substance use, she found herself in a place of extreme anxiety, depression, and self-harm.

She had a moment of clarity while sitting in a bathtub, fully clothed and without water, where she swore off God. She believes this moment opened a “portal of darkness” that led to a period of severe spiritual and emotional turmoil.

The final descent into recovery came after a period of self-harm and insomnia. She decided to do a “cleanse” from alcohol, a final attempt to regain control. After a brief period of sobriety, she tried to reintroduce alcohol into her life, only to find the darkness returning with a vengeance. She had hit her breaking point.

5. Surrender and the Daily Practice of Recovery

The journey to recovery for Kori was a painful process of surrender. It wasn’t just about giving up alcohol but about surrendering the false narrative she had lived by for so long. She had to face the difficult truth that her life was unmanageable and that she was powerless over her addiction. This admission, she says, was the first step toward true freedom.

She emphasizes that recovery is not a one-time event but a daily practice. It’s about “playing the tape through,” considering the long-term consequences of her actions instead of seeking instant gratification. This is a core principle of 12-step programs, which emphasize the importance of making amends, seeking a spiritual connection, and helping others. For Kori, this meant embracing a life of purpose and faith after a lifetime of feeling disconnected.

“The flip side of recovery is so good,” Kori said, challenging the common misconception that sobriety is a “killjoy” of all fun. “It’s not just a bit better; it’s an entirely different existence.”

Her story is a powerful testament to the idea that recovery is not just about abstaining from a substance but about building a new life, one of meaning, purpose, and genuine connection.

6. The Long Road to Healing: Shame and Forgiveness

Even after achieving sobriety, Kori had to confront the immense shame she carried from her past. The memories of her blackout nights, the lost car, and the destructive behaviors were not erased by her new way of life. She had to work through the shame and forgive herself for the person she was.

“There’s a lot of shame,” Kori admitted. “I’m not gonna come out and tell people…my best-laid plan is like, oh, I’ll kill myself if this doesn’t work out.”

The shame associated with addiction can be a major barrier to seeking help and maintaining recovery. It keeps individuals isolated and unable to share their struggles. For Kori, it took years of therapy and recovery work to process the shame and understand that her destructive behavior was a symptom of a deeper problem.

The journey to self-forgiveness is an essential part of the recovery process. It involves acknowledging the past without judgment and accepting that addiction is a disease, not a moral failing.

7. The Role of Faith and a Higher Power

A central theme in Kori’s story is her evolving relationship with a higher power. After years of hating God for the trauma she endured, she found a spiritual connection through recovery. She had to learn to trust again, not just herself but a force greater than her own will.

“I hated God, and I didn’t trust God,” she said, recounting her childhood rage. However, when she was at her lowest point, she “prayed to a God that I didn’t believe in,” which led her to a therapist and, eventually, the path of recovery.

This spiritual journey is a core component of many recovery programs. It’s not about embracing a specific religion but about finding a power greater than oneself to help overcome addiction. For Kori, this meant learning that life is not happening to her but is a neutral experience that she can navigate with faith and trust.

8. A New Purpose: Helping Others in Recovery

Today, Kori uses her story and her platform to help others. As a writer, recovery mentor, and podcast host, she shares her experiences to inspire hope and show others that a life in recovery is not only possible but incredibly fulfilling. Her podcast, The Kori Leigh Show, is a space where she continues to explore the themes of healing, faith, and purpose.

The act of helping others is a powerful tool for maintaining recovery. It allows individuals to turn their past pain into a source of strength and meaning. It’s a way of making amends for the past and contributing to the well-being of others.

The journey from a “blackout party girl” to a recovery advocate is a testament to the transformative power of a 12-step program and the courage to face one’s deepest fears. Kori’s story is a beacon of hope for anyone struggling with addiction, proving that a life of chaos can be replaced with one of grace, purpose, and genuine connection.

Posted on

A Survivor’s Guide to Mental Health: Imani’s 10+ Tools for Navigating Depression, Anxiety, and PTSD

Living with a mental health condition can often feel like an isolating and overwhelming journey. We hear stories about people managing conditions like depression and anxiety, but rarely do we get to hear an honest, in-depth account of the day-to-day realities—the struggles, the breakthroughs, and the slow, often painful process of building a life of purpose.

In a recent episode of the Giving Voice to Mental Health Podcast, a production of Recovery.com, Imani shares her powerful story of living with and managing complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD), anxiety, and depression. Diagnosed at a young age, Imani navigated years of misdiagnosis, provider trauma, and a deeply entrenched sense of hopelessness. Her journey from chronic suicidal ideation and isolation to finding purpose and becoming a peer support specialist offers a roadmap for others struggling to find their way.

Imani’s story shows that recovery isn’t a linear path and that there is no single right way to heal. She found her own way by collecting a personal toolkit of strategies—from professional therapy and peer support to smaller, internal practices—that helped her move forward, one small step at a time. This article dives into the key lessons from her journey, providing actionable advice for anyone seeking to build their own path toward mental wellness.

1. Understanding Complex PTSD and Its Impact

When we think of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), our minds often go to images of soldiers or survivors of a single catastrophic event. However, as Imani explains, a different form of this condition, complex PTSD (C-PTSD), arises from repeated, prolonged exposure to trauma, often beginning in childhood. Imani describes C-PTSD as the result of “small traumas that happen in your life that can kind of compound as you have more and more trauma, and you don’t have the tools to react to it.” These ongoing traumatic experiences, particularly those that happen within a person’s family of origin, can lead to a state of chronic unsafety.

Unlike single-incident trauma, C-PTSD often stems from developmental or generational trauma passed down through families. It can lead to a wide range of symptoms, including difficulty regulating emotions, dissociative episodes, and a persistent negative self-perception. Imani’s experience highlights how a lack of healthy coping mechanisms in childhood can set the stage for these conditions later in life. She explains that her reactions to her childhood experiences, without the proper tools to cope, were misinterpreted by professionals, leading to a misdiagnosis of borderline personality disorder. This mislabeling not only complicated her healing process but also exposed her to a kind of “provider trauma” that made it difficult to trust mental health professionals in the future.

Explore treatment options for PTSD.

2. Recognizing the Physical and Emotional Manifestations of Anxiety

Imani’s experience with anxiety started young, and she learned to recognize its physical and emotional signs. For her, anxiety manifests as a burning sensation in her chest, elevated blood pressure, and a tendency to overthink and get stuck in “a thought loop.” She notes that these physical sensations can overlap with her C-PTSD symptoms, and she manages them using grounding techniques. “Often with PTSD, you have to do some grounding,” Imani states. “You have to remind yourself that you’re here right now, you’re fine.”

The practice of grounding is a powerful tool for interrupting the physical symptoms of anxiety. By focusing on the present moment and engaging your senses, you can pull yourself out of a spiral of anxious thoughts. For example, you can try the 5-4-3-2-1 method: name five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This technique helps to anchor you in the present, reducing the intensity of anxiety and preventing a full-blown panic response.

Anxiety can also lead to emotional and social challenges, such as a desire to avoid eye contact or withdraw from social situations. Learning to identify these physical and behavioral cues is the first step toward developing effective coping strategies. With years of therapy, Imani has ingrained these tools so deeply that she now uses them instinctively.

Explore anxiety treatment centers.

3. Fighting the “Big Bad Wolf” of Depression

For Imani, depression was the most prominent and challenging of her diagnoses. It “stripped me of my goals and my ability to think ahead.” She describes a period of immense inadequacy and isolation in her early twenties, where she felt afraid to work and lived with chronic suicidal ideation for years. The culture she grew up in dismissed her feelings, telling her she was “too young to be depressed,” a common and harmful misconception.

Imani’s story offers a unique perspective on managing suicidal thoughts. She explains that by giving herself permission to have those thoughts, acknowledging them as an option, she was able to create a psychological distance from them. “I told myself, I may not kill myself, but I’m gonna allow myself to have these thoughts, and I worked through that.” This radical acceptance allowed her to stop fighting the thoughts and, paradoxically, to move forward. The distance between the thoughts grew, and she began to live her life in small increments, which eventually built into a more purposeful existence.

This experience highlights the importance of not suppressing difficult emotions. While professional help is essential for anyone with suicidal ideation, Imani’s approach of radical acceptance allowed her to reclaim a sense of agency over her life. By acknowledging the presence of the thoughts without acting on them, she was able to start building a future for herself.

Explore depression treatment options.

4. The Power of Peer Support and Shared Experience

Imani’s turning point came when she discovered peer support, a model of care that connects individuals with mental health challenges to people who have lived through similar experiences. “Peer support gave me hope,” she shares. She explains that peer support isn’t about one person “trauma-dumping” on another, but rather “about seeing each other as people that have things going on that have something that happened to you rather than you are a problem.”

This relational approach stands in stark contrast to the medical model of care she had experienced, which often focused on what was “wrong” with her. Peer support specialists use their lived experience as a tool to build a connection and walk alongside individuals on their recovery journey. Imani found immense meaning in her own suffering by becoming a peer specialist herself, helping others navigate the same challenges she faced.

A growing body of research supports the effectiveness of peer support. These specialists provide a unique blend of practical advice, emotional support, and the validation of someone who truly understands.

5. Therapy as a Tool, Not a Punishment

Both Imani and Terry, the podcast host, share the belief that therapy is a valuable tool for everyone, not just those with a diagnosed mental illness. Imani sees therapy as a place to “lay out the things I’ve been thinking about, things that I’ve not worked through from my past, my childhood, and things that are happening right now.” The value lies in having an objective person to talk to, someone who can provide a safe space for processing thoughts and emotions.

For Imani, therapy became a way to reaffirm her own inner strength. “It gives me peace,” she says, “that actually, I have everything I need, you know? And so the therapist just reinforces that.” Therapy isn’t about being told what to do but about gaining the clarity and confidence to make your own decisions. It can be used proactively to prepare for difficult life events, as Terry did before her mother’s passing. This approach turns therapy into a powerful form of self-care and preparation, rather than a last resort.

6. The Healing Power of Self-Compassion and Grace

One of the most profound lessons from Imani’s story is the importance of self-compassion and grace. She explains that it’s impossible to get better if you are constantly “punching yourself in the face.” Her journey involved a slow but deliberate shift from self-hatred to self-love. She started by catching herself when she would say “I hate myself” and eventually replaced that phrase with “I love myself,” even when she didn’t believe it.

This practice of radical self-acceptance is a powerful form of cognitive behavioral therapy. By changing the internal narrative, you can begin to rewire your brain’s emotional responses. As Imani’s journey shows, this isn’t an overnight process, but a slow, consistent practice that builds momentum over time.

7. Small Steps to Build Momentum

When you are in a state of depression or shutdown, the idea of doing anything productive can feel impossible. Imani offers a practical and realistic solution: break down tasks into tiny, manageable steps. She started by giving herself five minutes a day to do something, anything, like cleaning up a small area or just sitting in the same room as her family. This practice, often referred to as behavioral activation, is a cornerstone of cognitive behavioral therapy for depression. The goal is not to complete a big task but to simply get started and build a sense of momentum and accomplishment.

This “five-minute rule” helped Imani slowly build her courage back up, transforming her from a person who was ashamed and isolated to someone who had a career and a community. The small wins created a positive feedback loop, motivating her to take on bigger challenges.

8. Setting Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries are a crucial, yet often overlooked, tool for mental health. Imani’s story highlights how a lack of boundaries can lead to burnout and strained relationships. She wishes someone had taught her how to set boundaries earlier in life so she could have protected herself and her relationships.

Setting boundaries isn’t about being selfish or uncaring. In fact, Imani calls it a “compassionate” act. It is a way to respect your own capacity and protect your mental well-being. By setting clear boundaries with her clients, Imani found that she was not only protecting herself but also teaching them a valuable life skill. She learned that saying “no” doesn’t mean “I don’t like you,” but “I’m at capacity.” This simple reframing can change your perspective on self-care, turning it from a luxury into a necessity.

9. Finding Purpose Through Lived Experience

Ultimately, Imani’s story is one of transformation through purpose. She turned her “suffering” into a service that could help others. She found that her darkest experiences gave her a unique ability to connect with and empower others who were struggling. This sense of purpose became a protective factor, keeping her from shutting down and regressing into old patterns.

“What I’ve found is as I built momentum, it just made me wanna do more,” she says. Her work as a peer support specialist not only gave her a career but also gave meaning to her journey. This idea is supported by research showing that altruistic acts, like helping others, can improve a person’s mental health and sense of well-being.

10. You Are Not Your Diagnosis

Through her journey, Imani learned that her diagnoses of C-PTSD, anxiety, and depression “mean this much in my life.” She realized that she had been a strong person all along, but she hadn’t had the tools to act on it. Her journey was about rediscovering her inner strength and knowing that, with support, she could navigate any challenge.

Imani’s story is a testament to the fact that while a diagnosis can explain your symptoms, it does not define your future. You can use your struggles as fuel to build a life of purpose and pride. With the right tools and a supportive community, you can find the courage to move forward, one small step at a time.

Posted on

The Hope Dealer: 5 Life-Changing Lessons from Fausto Castellanos on Trauma and Recovery

The journey to healing is rarely a straight line. For Fausto Castellanos, a clinical counselor and recovery advocate known as “The Hope Dealer,” it was a long and winding road filled with pain, self-blame, and a desperate search for validation. His story, shared on the Recoverycast podcast, is a powerful testament to the idea that our most difficult experiences don’t have to define our future. Instead, they can become the very foundation of our purpose.

From a young age, Castellanos felt a deep sense of unease and a need to be accepted. He recalled, “I always thought that I was less than everyone, so I would always look at like, you know, any older boy for like, um, validation or or direction.” This feeling, rooted in a childhood environment with a narcissistic father and a codependent mother, led him to constantly seek external validation. He would imitate others, chasing a “performance self-worth” that would momentarily mask his internal struggles. This desperate need for acceptance would ultimately lead him down a path of self-destructive behaviors, a journey he now uses to help others find their way back to a place of hope and healing.

1. The Mask of Performance and the Search for Validation

Growing up, Fausto Castellanos learned to be a “chameleon,” constantly adapting his personality to fit in and be liked. This behavior was a direct result of a traumatic experience at age seven, where he was sexually abused by an older boy. He didn’t process it as abuse at the time, but as a young child, he internalized the subsequent cruelty from his abuser as a sign that he had done something wrong. This trauma, combined with an already anxious disposition, led to a deep-seated belief that something was inherently wrong with him.

In a desperate attempt to fix this perceived brokenness, he began to seek out risky behaviors. “That show Jackass came out… and I was like, that’s what I gotta do to fix this. Oh my gosh. I gotta jump off buildings. Just doing all these dares and stuff like that. And again, just trying to seek that, that, that, that, um, my fix validation.” His actions were a cry for help, a way to prove his worth and distract himself from the gnawing pain inside. This pattern of seeking validation through extreme and self-sabotaging acts would continue for years, culminating in a series of shocking events.

Explore trauma treatment options.

2. A Desperate Attempt to Escape: Faking His Own Death

By ninth grade, the pressure of his internal turmoil became unbearable. Castellanos found a new way to cope: skipping school. He would feign illness, often using a history of epilepsy from a childhood concussion to manipulate his mother into letting him stay home. This temporary escape, however, was not enough. He was still haunted by the fear that everyone at school knew his secret. It was at this point that he came up with a “bright idea to fake my own death.”

Using his skills in videography, he created a video of a car crash he found online, superimposed a childhood picture of himself, and added emotional music from the band Incubus. The plan, however, was a disaster. “People show up to my house to give my mom condolences and they see I’m, I’m the one opening the door.” The failed attempt at faking his death led to even more desperate measures.

In a misguided attempt to get more time off from school, he told his teacher he was “hearing voices to hurt people.” This lie backfired spectacularly, leading to a 5150 hold—a mandatory 72-hour psychiatric detention in San Diego. His stay was extended to seven days after he resisted the diagnosis, and he was forced to “pretend I was schizophrenic” just to get out. The experience, while terrifying, became another twisted form of validation. He felt a strange sense of belonging, a feeling of being seen, even if it was for a fabricated identity. This desire to be seen, no matter the cost, became a driving force in his life.

3. Finding “Comfort” in Alcohol and Drugs

After his release from the psychiatric hospital, Castellanos was granted his wish to do home studies. He was safe, alone, and free from the social pressures of school. But without a structured environment, his pursuit of external validation found a new and dangerous outlet: alcohol and drugs. At 14, he and a friend stole a bottle of whiskey. The first time the alcohol’s buzz kicked in, he had a revelation. “It was the first time in my life I can remember feeling comfortable. Feeling connected, feeling grounded, feeling seen, feeling safe.”

For a young man who had been battling anxiety and suicidal thoughts for years, alcohol was not a poison but a perceived cure. He came to believe that if he hadn’t found alcohol and drugs, he “would’ve killed myself a long time ago.” This belief became the foundation of a life of addiction. He transitioned from alcohol to ecstasy, a drug he had manifested after seeing a YouTube video of people dancing at a rave. He quickly developed a connection to a dealer, a neighbor who would later molest him for six months. This second traumatic experience, made all the more confusing by the disinhibiting effects of methamphetamines, reinforced his belief that his own actions were to blame.

4. The Vicious Cycle of Addiction, Breakups, and Despair

From the ages of 14 to 18, Castellanos’s life was a cycle of avoidance and self-destruction. He became the “party guy,” a role that gave him a false sense of purpose and belonging. “I played that character and I played that character really well.” He was the one who could get alcohol and drugs, the one with the “cool mom” who would let everyone stay over. This performance, however, couldn’t mask his growing addiction. He experienced blackouts, fights, and near-misses with the law. His underlying trauma continued to haunt him, and he continued to seek external validation, especially through romantic relationships.

At 17, he fell in love, convinced that this relationship would “fix” him. But his codependent nature led to a devastating overdose on 17 ecstasy pills after a party. He woke up in the hospital, handcuffed to a bed, his face bloody from a fall. Even in this moment of crisis, his first thought was to manipulate his way out of trouble, blaming the police for his injuries and demanding pain pills. Less than 24 hours after leaving the hospital, he overdosed again.

This pattern of using relationships as a crutch and self-destruction as a coping mechanism continued into his early twenties. He sought refuge in a high-profile bartending job, a role that fed his need for attention and validation. Yet, even as the “it dude,” his addiction spiraled out of control. Another failed relationship at 21 sent him to his rock bottom, a suicide attempt. It was this moment that forced him to confront the truth: his past trauma was still controlling his present, and his addiction was only making things worse.

5. The Path to Recovery and a New Purpose

Fausto Castellanos’s story is a powerful reminder that the desire to heal must come from within. While external sources of validation, like relationships or social status, may offer temporary relief, they cannot solve the underlying issues of trauma and self-worth. His journey highlights the importance of vulnerability in recovery, a theme he emphasizes throughout the podcast. “Vulnerability will save your life to know that there is people out there that are going through what you’re going through, and there is people who are willing to help you. You just gotta let people know what’s going on inside of you, because if you don’t reveal it, then you can’t heal it.”

His story, once a source of shame, has become a tool for advocacy. By sharing his experiences, he gives others permission to be vulnerable and seek help. His work as a clinical counselor and “hope dealer” is a testament to the power of turning pain into purpose. He now uses his past not as a burden but as a beacon, illuminating a path for others struggling with addiction and trauma. The long road of emotional recovery may be difficult, but as Castellanos’s story shows, it is possible to transform a life of self-destruction into a mission of healing and hope.

Posted on

Meg Kissinger’s 5+ Ways to Navigate Mental Illness in Your Family

The topic of mental illness has long been shrouded in silence, a hushed secret passed down through generations. Yet, as awareness grows and conversations open up, more and more individuals are realizing the profound impact mental health struggles have had on their families. Meg Kissinger, a Pulitzer Prize finalist reporter and author, offers a powerfully unique perspective on this often-taboo subject. Drawing from her own lived experience growing up in a family profoundly affected by mental illness, including the loss of two siblings to suicide, Kissinger provides invaluable insights into breaking the cycle of shame and fostering healing.

“There’s no shame in having mental illness of any kind, depression, anxiety, whatever it is. There’s no shame in that. It’s how you’re made and just that you would not be ashamed of cancer or diabetes. This is how we’re made and this is who we are and, and that’s okay. And it’s just a little piece of who we are,” emphasizes Kissinger, setting the tone for a candid and compassionate discussion about embracing vulnerability and seeking understanding.

1. Reframe Stigma as Discrimination: A Call for Dignity and Humanity

For too long, the term “stigma” has been used to describe the societal prejudice against individuals with mental illness. However, Kissinger, borrowing from the insights of Thomas Insel, former director of the National Institute of Mental Health, advocates for a crucial reframe: stigma is discrimination. This shift in terminology is not merely semantic; it fundamentally alters the focus from an internal failing to an external injustice.

“What stigma, you know, comes from the word stigmata… which literally means the markings of Christ. So marks on your hands and feet and head. And the suggestion is very subtle, but the suggestion is: people living with mental illness are marked,” Kissinger explains. “But I think where you, where you can kind of really get people to change the way they think about those folks is when you calibrate that view into discrimination. And so which ways do we deny people their full dignity and their, their full humanity? And then that really focuses, that shifts the spotlight then on the people who are doing that injustice.”

When we view the issue through the lens of discrimination, it becomes clear that the burden lies not with the individual experiencing mental illness, but with a society that denies them equal rights, opportunities, and compassion. This denial manifests in systemic ways, from inadequate housing and employment opportunities to the insistence that individuals “prove their worth” to receive care and support. By recognizing mental illness as an illness, rather than a character flaw or moral failing, we can begin to dismantle discriminatory practices and advocate for a more equitable and supportive system. This reframe empowers us to challenge the status quo and demand better treatment for those who are suffering.

2. Acknowledge and Address Generational Silence

Growing up in a large Irish Catholic family in an era where mental health was rarely, if ever, discussed, Kissinger experienced firsthand the pervasive silence surrounding mental illness. Her mother struggled with undiagnosed depression and anxiety, and her father with what is now recognized as bipolar disorder. These conditions, along with others, affected many of her eight siblings, leading to a profound impact on the family, including two suicides.

“My mother struggled with depression and anxiety. Of course, we didn’t know those were words that were never spoken in our house,” Kissinger recalls. “And we were never like sat down and told that. It’s just what we observed. So it took a long time to kind of sis out like what, or you know, what’s going on. And why is it when I come bounding down the stairs, you know, when I’m six years old looking for cream of wheat, it’s my grandmother at the stove and not my mother because she is mysteriously gone and they won’t tell me where she is or why. Then your, of course, your imagination runs wild and you think, what did I do to make my mother go away?”

This unspoken reality created an environment where confusion and self-blame often thrived. The lack of open communication and readily available information meant that the Kissinger children had no framework for understanding what was happening within their own home. This is a common experience for many families where mental illness is an unacknowledged presence. The absence of labels and conversations can lead to profound isolation and a distorted perception of “normal.”

To break this cycle, it’s crucial to acknowledge the impact of generational silence. Understanding that past generations may not have had the language, resources, or societal acceptance to discuss mental illness openly is an important first step. For families navigating similar legacies, initiating conversations, even if difficult, can be profoundly healing. This doesn’t necessarily mean public declarations, but rather creating a safe space within the family for honest dialogue and shared understanding.

3. The Power of Storytelling: Finding Healing in Narrative

Kissinger’s journey to understanding and healing involved writing a book that unflinchingly explored her family’s experiences with mental illness. This was not an easy undertaking, especially given the entrenched family silence. Yet, her siblings not only supported her endeavor but also provided access to personal records and insights, a testament to the transformative power of shared storytelling.

“It was imperative to me that I have their buy-in,” Kissinger states, highlighting the importance of family collaboration in her narrative. “It was important for me to have their approval. At the same time, this wasn’t gonna be a memoir by committee… It had to have the narrative arc and the My voice… But God bless my brothers and sisters and they, I am so grateful to them for being my fact checkers… they were very, very encouraging and. It was to me, nothing short of heroic for them to have the trust in me that I was gonna tell this story the way it needed to be told.”

The act of telling her family’s story, with their collective support, became a vehicle for processing trauma, finding perspective, and ultimately, healing. This illustrates that while not everyone needs to write a book, finding ways to articulate and share one’s experiences can be incredibly cathartic. This could involve:

  • Journaling: A private space to explore thoughts and emotions.
  • Support Groups: Connecting with others who have similar experiences can validate feelings and reduce isolation.
  • Therapy: A trained professional can provide a safe and confidential environment to process complex emotions and develop coping mechanisms.
  • Creative Expression: Art, music, or other creative outlets can offer a non-verbal means of expressing difficult experiences.

The goal is not necessarily public disclosure, but rather finding a healthy outlet to process and integrate one’s experiences with mental illness, both personally and within the family context. When we bravely share our narratives, we not only heal ourselves but also create pathways for others to feel less alone in their struggles.

4. Navigating Grief, Guilt, and Unexpected Relief After Suicide Loss

The death of a loved one by suicide brings a unique and often overwhelming constellation of emotions, including profound sadness, anger, shame, and guilt. Kissinger speaks candidly about the experience of losing two siblings to suicide, and in doing so, sheds light on a rarely acknowledged aspect of suicide grief: relief.

When her sister Nancy died by suicide after years of severe mental illness and multiple attempts, Kissinger and her family experienced a complicated mix of emotions. “When she finally did die, in June of 1978. It was a shock, but not a surprise,” she recounts. “And that night my dad gathered us all into the living room and, you know, looked at us sternly and said, if anybody asks, this was an accident. Which of course is a scary thing to hear. And the takeaway is that this is something to be ashamed of.”

Despite the profound sorrow and the societal pressure to conceal the truth, Kissinger admits to feeling a sense of relief alongside her grief. “There can be relief. Yeah. People need to hear that. Oh, absolutely,” she states. “And you know, I think that’s true of a lot of deaths, especially deaths where that, where the illness has gone on and on and on… it was a terrible sorrow. Of course. But it was also a great relief. I felt guilty that I felt such relief. But no, and you know, looking back on it so many years later. It’s a completely normal response and, um, why wouldn’t I, you know, she was out of her misery and we were out of ours. There’s a big sense of relief that came with that.”

This raw honesty is crucial for suicide loss survivors who may experience similar feelings but feel immense shame or guilt for them. It’s important to understand that feeling relief does not diminish the love for the person lost or the depth of grief. Instead, it can be a natural response to the cessation of intense suffering—both the individual’s and the family’s prolonged vigil.

For those coping with suicide loss, it’s vital to:

  • Allow all emotions: There is no “right” way to grieve. Grief is a complex process, and feelings like anger, guilt, and even relief are valid.
  • Seek support: Connecting with other suicide loss survivors can provide a sense of understanding and reduce isolation. Organizations like the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) offer resources and support groups specifically for those bereaved by suicide.
  • Challenge self-blame: Suicide is a complex issue with many contributing factors, and it is rarely the fault of family members.
  • Remember the person beyond their illness: While the illness was a part of their life, it did not define their entire being. Cherish memories of their good qualities and the joy they brought.

5. Cultivating Self-Love and Asking for Help

For individuals living with mental illness, and for those who support them, cultivating self-love and the courage to ask for help are paramount. Kissinger emphasizes that mental illness, particularly serious conditions like bipolar disorder or schizophrenia, can be a “lifetime saddle,” but it does not preclude a joyful and successful life.

“People with mental illness can have very good lives. And they can have joy and they can be loved and they can be successful. They can find success,” Kissinger asserts, challenging the notion that a diagnosis is a “death sentence.” She highlights her brother Jake, who lives in a group home for individuals with serious mental illness and “never apologizes for that. And he never flinches from talking about the struggles that he’s up against.” His openness and acceptance of himself serve as a powerful example.

For those struggling internally, Kissinger offers a simple yet profound piece of advice: acknowledge that mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. Once this foundational acceptance is in place, the path to healing becomes clearer.

“I think just to be, just to know yourself and to, it starts with really just acknowledging that mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. And once we get away from the shame of that and just accept who we are,” she advises. This internal shift can pave the way for seeking external support.

Learning to ask for help is a critical step. “People have such a hard time asking for help,” Kissinger notes, urging individuals to embrace humility and courage. Whether it’s confiding in a trusted friend, seeking professional therapy, or engaging with support groups, reaching out is a sign of strength, not weakness.

6. Supporting Loved Ones: Empathy, Boundaries, and Understanding

Supporting someone with a mental illness requires a delicate balance of empathy, understanding, and self-preservation. It’s not always easy to distinguish between a “stubborn personality” and the symptoms of an illness, as Kissinger points out. However, starting with the assumption that the person is hurting can guide compassionate responses.

Kissinger shares a poignant personal anecdote about her brother Danny, who confided in her that he “didn’t feel like being alive anymore.” Her initial, regrettable response was to punch him in the arm and tell him to “shut up.” This raw admission underscores the difficulty of navigating such conversations, especially when one is overwhelmed.

“I’m so sorry. And that’s, it’s understandable and that’s, it’s normal. A lot of people feel that way. I’m sorry. You’re going through that. You can get, you can come out on the other side. You’re, you’re gonna feel better. I’m here for you,” Kissinger reflects on what she would say now. This response prioritizes validation, hope, and support, recognizing the immense pain the individual is experiencing.

Furthermore, setting healthy boundaries is crucial to avoid burnout for caregivers. Kissinger quotes her brother Billy, who advises, “Acknowledge when it’s too much. Just learn that you have to sometimes walk away.” This doesn’t mean abandoning a loved one, but rather taking necessary breaks to recharge and maintain one’s own well-being. The love remains, but the ability to offer effective support depends on personal resilience.

Here are key takeaways for supporting a loved one with mental illness:

  • Educate yourself: Learn about the specific mental illness affecting your loved one. Understanding the symptoms and challenges can foster empathy and inform your approach.
  • Listen without judgment: Offer a compassionate ear and validate their feelings, even if you don’t fully understand them.
  • Encourage professional help: Gently suggest seeking therapy, medication, or other appropriate interventions. Offer to help them find resources or make appointments.
  • Practice self-care: Supporting a loved one can be emotionally draining. Prioritize your own mental and physical health to avoid burnout. This might involve setting boundaries, seeking your own therapy, or engaging in stress-reducing activities.
  • Remember it’s an illness, not a choice: Separate the person from their illness. Understand that their behaviors or moods may be symptoms, not intentional acts to hurt you.
  • Offer practical support: Depending on the situation, this could involve helping with daily tasks, transportation to appointments, or simply being a consistent, reliable presence.

Ultimately, navigating mental illness within families requires a commitment to open communication, empathy, and a willingness to challenge long-held societal norms. By reframing stigma as discrimination, acknowledging generational silence, embracing the power of storytelling, and cultivating both self-love and supportive relationships, families can move towards a future where mental health is discussed openly, understood deeply, and met with compassion and care.

Posted on

Understanding Suicide Loss: Lisa’s 5+ Ways to Support Yourself and Others

If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Line or your local emergency services number.

The ripple effect of suicide is far-reaching, touching countless lives beyond the individual lost. For every suicide, 135 people are impacted, whether they are family, friends, or acquaintances. This staggering statistic, highlighted by Lisa Sugarman on the Giving Voice to Mental Health Podcast, means that over 94 million people annually worldwide are affected by suicide loss. This unique form of grief, often accompanied by complex emotions like guilt and trauma, requires specialized support that generalized grief resources may not provide.

Lisa Sugarman, a three-time suicide loss survivor, emphasizes the isolation often felt by those grieving a suicide. “I just want people to understand two things,” she shares, “First is that they’re not alone. It’s such an isolating experience, but you’re not alone. There are so many people who’ve been impacted by suicide loss. People just don’t talk about it. The second thing is help is out there.”

For those navigating the aftermath of suicide loss, or for anyone seeking to better understand and support someone who is, this article delves into the nuances of suicide grief and offers practical advice and essential resources.

1. Recognizing the Unique Nature of Suicide Grief

Grief is a complex emotion, but grief stemming from suicide loss carries additional layers of pain and confusion. Unlike other forms of loss, suicide often leaves survivors grappling with questions of “why” and “what if,” leading to intense feelings of guilt, shame, and even anger. The sudden and often traumatic nature of suicide can make it incredibly difficult for those left behind to process their emotions.

Lisa Sugarman eloquently describes this distinction: “Suicide’s a funny animal in that way. It’s a, it’s a very unique and nuanced kind of grief because you have elements of a suicide grief that don’t exist with traditional loss.” These elements can include:

  • Profound Guilt: Survivors often question if they missed signs or could have done something to prevent the death. This self-blame, though often unfounded, can be overwhelming.
  • Trauma: The manner of death can be deeply traumatic, leading to intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, and other symptoms of post-traumatic stress.
  • Stigma and Shame: Despite growing awareness, a societal stigma still surrounds suicide, making it difficult for survivors to openly discuss their loss and seek support.
  • Complicated Bereavement: The unresolved questions and intense emotions associated with suicide can lead to complicated bereavement, a prolonged and intense form of grief that interferes with daily functioning.

Understanding these unique facets is the first step toward effective support and healing. It acknowledges that suicide loss is not “just” grief but a multifaceted experience requiring specific understanding and care.

Explore treatment options for suicidality.

2. Navigating the Waves of Grief, Even Years Later

Grief is not a linear process; it ebbs and flows, often resurfacing unexpectedly even years after a loss. Lisa Sugarman’s personal story powerfully illustrates this. She grieved her father’s death from a “heart attack” for 35 years before accidentally discovering he had died by suicide. This revelation brought back the raw, intense pain of loss, feeling as though she was “10 years old again.”

“My body remembered that grief the day that I found out he died when I was 10. In the same way I found out that it was a suicide 35 years later, and my body went right back to that same feeling that I had not felt in decades.”

This experience underscores that grief, particularly suicide grief, is not something to “get over.” Instead, it’s about learning to integrate the loss into your life and finding ways to carry it while still experiencing joy. For many, the initial shock and devastation eventually give way to a different, albeit persistent, form of grief.

  • Grief Attacks: These are sudden, intense waves of sadness, longing, or distress that can be triggered by a memory, a date, or even a seemingly unrelated event. They are a normal part of the grieving process.
  • Cyclical Nature: Grief often revisits in cycles, with periods of intense sadness followed by moments of peace or even happiness.
  • Finding a “New Normal”: Life after suicide loss is never the same, but it is possible to find a “new normal” where the pain is still present but no longer paralyzing. This involves slowly re-engaging with life, finding meaning, and honoring the memory of the lost loved one.

It’s crucial for those grieving to be patient and compassionate with themselves. There’s no timeline for healing, and every individual’s journey is unique.

Explore treatment options for grief.

3. Understanding Why Suicide Happens: It’s Not About You

One of the most agonizing aspects of suicide loss for survivors is the persistent question of “Was I enough?” or “Why did they do this to me?” This self-blame is a common and understandable reaction, but as Lisa Sugarman and many experts emphasize, suicide is rarely about the people left behind.

“What we have to remember is that the reason why our person chose to take their life was not about us. It’s not about us at all. It’s about them. And that one act, that final act, was the only act that they had complete control over.”

Individuals contemplating suicide are often in immense emotional pain, feeling hopeless and overwhelmed, unable to see a way out of their suffering. Their decision is a desperate attempt to end that pain, not to hurt or abandon their loved ones. While distorted thinking may lead some to believe they are a “burden” to their families, this perception is a symptom of their illness, not a reflection of reality.

  • Mental Illness as a Driver: Suicide is often linked to underlying mental health conditions like depression, bipolar disorder, or other psychiatric illnesses that impair judgment and problem-solving.
  • Loss of Control: For many, suicide is perceived as the only action they can control in a life that feels entirely out of their grasp.
  • Inability to See Alternatives: The intense emotional pain can blind individuals to alternative solutions or available help.

Understanding these dynamics can help to alleviate the crushing burden of guilt that many survivors carry. You cannot fix what you do not know is broken, and even when you are aware of someone’s struggles, you may not be able to prevent their choice.

4. How to Support Someone Grieving a Suicide Loss

Knowing what to say and do when someone has lost a loved one to suicide can be challenging. Many people fear saying the wrong thing or making the situation worse. However, genuine presence and thoughtful communication can make a significant difference.

Lisa Sugarman offers clear guidance on what is helpful and what to avoid:

Helpful Phrases and Actions:

  • “I’m here, I care.”
  • “I want to listen.”
  • “Let’s talk. What do you need?”
  • “How can I help?”
  • “Would it be helpful to you if we talked about your person? Or if we didn’t talk about your person?”

These phrases offer unconditional support and an open invitation for the grieving person to share at their own pace. Offering practical help, such as bringing meals, running errands, or simply sitting with them, can also be invaluable.

Things to Avoid:

  • Asking for details about how the person took their life.
  • Passing any kind of judgment.
  • Saying things like, “Were there any signs?” This implies blame or negligence on the part of the survivor.
  • Saying, “I bet you feel so guilty.” This can inflict immense pain on someone already struggling with self-blame.

The most powerful thing you can do is hold space for someone who has lost a loved one to suicide. This means being present, listening without judgment, and allowing them to feel whatever they feel without trying to “fix” it. Remember, almost everyone universally wants to be able to talk about their person in some way, so don’t shy away from mentioning their name or sharing positive memories.

5. Essential Resources and Lifelines for Support

In times of crisis or profound grief, knowing where to turn for help is crucial. Many resources are available, not just for those experiencing suicidal ideation, but also for suicide loss survivors and those who wish to support them.

National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or Text 988

“The best place that anyone can call and reach out to is the 988 Crisis and Suicide Hotline,” Lisa Sugarman emphasizes. This is a vital resource for anyone dealing with any kind of crisis, including grief. It’s important to remember that you don’t have to be in a suicidal state of mind to utilize 988. It’s designed to help individuals navigate any crisis, and grief is a significant part of that.

  • Availability: 24/7 in the United States.
  • Accessibility: Available by phone call, text, or through online chat at 988lifeline.org.
  • Confidentiality: Services are confidential.
  • Support for Others: As Lisa points out, you can even call 988 if you’re trying to support someone else and need guidance on how to approach the situation. “You don’t have to be calling for yourself,” she explains.

Other Valuable Resources:

  • The Trevor Project: This organization provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to LGBTQ youth (ages 13-25). They offer a toll-free hotline (1-866-488-7386), text messaging, and online chat. You can find more information at TheTrevorProject.org.
  • Crisis Text Line: For those who prefer texting over talking, the Crisis Text Line offers support by texting HOME to 741741 from anywhere in the US, anytime, about any type of crisis. Learn more at crisistextline.org.
  • American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP): AFSP offers programs and resources for suicide prevention, education, and support for loss survivors. Their website, afsp.org, provides extensive information, including local support groups and resources.
  • Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors: This online forum and resource center provides a safe and compassionate community for suicide loss survivors. Visit allianceofhope.org.
  • Local Support Groups: Many communities have in-person support groups specifically for suicide loss survivors. These groups offer a unique space to connect with others who truly understand the experience. Search online or through organizations like AFSP for groups in your area. Recovery.com also offers resources and treatment options for various mental health challenges.

Conclusion

Suicide loss is a profoundly painful and isolating experience, but as Lisa Sugarman reminds us, “You are not alone. There are so many people who’ve been impacted by suicide loss.” By understanding the unique nature of this grief, recognizing that it’s not a reflection of your worth or actions, and knowing where to access support, individuals can begin to navigate their healing journey. Whether you are a suicide loss survivor or someone looking to support a loved one, remember that compassion, open communication, and utilizing available resources are powerful tools for healing and hope.

Posted on

Did Trump Cut the Suicide Hotline? What’s Happening With 988

When you’re in your darkest moment, the last thing you should have to worry about is whether help will be there when you call. Yet recent changes to funding for the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline have left many wondering if this life-saving resource will still be there when people need it most.

The short answer is yes: 988 is still active and available 24/7. But the longer story involves budget cuts that affect how quickly you get help and what kind of support is available, especially for communities that already face higher needs and barriers to mental health care.

What Is the 988 Lifeline?

The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline launched in 2022 as a game-changer for mental health support in the U.S. Instead of remembering a long phone number, anyone in crisis can simply dial 988 to reach trained counselors who provide immediate support and connect people to local resources.

The lifeline is managed by SAMHSA (the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) under the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). It serves everyone, but it has specialized services for groups at higher risk, including LGBTQ+ youth and veterans. 

Infographic explaining the 988 Crisis Lifeline: call, text, or chat 988 for free, confidential support around the clock. Designed for those experiencing suicidal thoughts, anxiety, substance use issues, trauma, or loneliness. Includes contact options and highlights messages of hope and help.

Robert Gebbia, CEO of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention explains:

Suicide remains a serious public health concern in the U.S.,1 and we know from research that certain groups have higher risk, including veterans and LGBTQ+ youth. This is why these groups have dedicated services within the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, where uniquely trained counselors help prevent suicide in these disproportionately impacted populations.

What’s Changed With Funding

In July 2025, the federal government stopped funding specialized services for LGBTQIA+ youth through the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. As of July 17, the Lifeline’s “Press 3” option, (which routed calls to counselors trained specifically to support LGBTQ+ youth) was discontinued after federal funds for this subnetwork ran out.

The finalized fiscal year 2026 budget includes $520 million for the 988 Lifeline overall but omits any earmarked funding for LGBTQIA+ services. As a result, all callers are now served by general crisis counselors, regardless of background or identity.

The news comes at a time when suicide rates among LGBTQ+ youth are a clear concern: The Trevor Project estimates that more than 1.8 million LGBTQ+ young people (ages 13-24) seriously consider suicide2 each year in the U.S., and at least one person attempts suicide every 45 seconds.

While the lifeline itself remains operational, defunding specialized services affects the system’s ability to meet increasing demand. This doesn’t mean 988 is shutting down, but it does mean fewer resources for hiring staff, training specialized counselors, and expanding outreach programs.

Infographic showing key statistics about the 988 Crisis Lifeline, including 13,700 daily contacts, 11 percent of calls and 15 percent of texts going unanswered, a 22.7 percent usage increase since launch, and that less than half of U.S. states provide stable funding for 988 services.

Impact on the LGBTQIA+ Community

This change also significantly impacts organizations like The Trevor Project, which lost half of its federal funding for crisis response, threatening their ability to maintain trained staff and meet call volume demands.

The end of tailored support may increase wait times and reduce the quality of care3 for LGBTQIA+ youth, who previously made up as many as 70,000 calls to the specialized line each month. Additionally, general crisis centers may not have the cultural competency to respond effectively to the unique challenges LGBTQIA+ people face.

Despite the loss of federal support, independent hotlines like Trans Lifeline and The Trevor Project continue operating, though with more limited capacity. This shift underscores the importance of funding culturally responsive mental health services, especially for communities at higher risk of suicide and mental health concerns.

Infographic timeline showing the history and challenges of the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, from the launch of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline in 2005 to the official rollout of 988 in 2022, highlighting increased call volume, federal funding boosts, and ongoing financial support gaps.

Who Is Disproportionately Impacted

Unfortunately, funding cuts rarely affect everyone equally. According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, “Certain populations uniquely at risk continue to be underrepresented in suicide research and face disproportionate inequities in accessing the care,4 support, and services needed to improve mental health and prevent suicide.” 

The communities most likely to feel the impact include:

  • BIPOC communities who already face barriers to accessing culturally competent mental health care 
  • LGBTQ+ communities, especially youth, who have significantly higher rates of suicidal thoughts 
  • Rural residents who have limited access to mental health resources to begin with 
  • People without insurance who rely heavily on free crisis services

How do recent cuts to the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline affect access to care, especially in underserved or marginalized communities? What are the potential long-term implications?

The Suicide & Crisis Lifeline helps reduce suicide, mental health hospitalizations, and reduces healthcare costs overall because people are less likely to turn to higher levels of care that are more expensive. For marginalized communities, it provides access to someone who can listen and provide support as well as resources they may not have access to otherwise, which saves lives. The long-term implications of the recent cuts include staffing shortages, which lead to longer response times, diminishing the effectiveness of the Lifeline during crises.
Jack Bartel, PsyD
Jack Bartel, PsyD The Evergreen Initiative

What This Means for You

These funding reductions create staffing shortages, which lead to longer response times and reduce how effectively crisis helplines can help during crises.

Here’s what you might experience:

  • Longer wait times when calling for help
  • Fewer culturally competent counselors available
  • Reduced outreach programs in underserved communities
  • Less specialized support for high-risk groups

The broader concern is that without adequate mental health crisis support, more people may end up in emergency rooms or encounters with law enforcement—exactly the situations 988 was designed to prevent.

Why This Matters Beyond Individual Calls

The 988 lifeline doesn’t just save lives in the moment. It reduces overall healthcare costs by preventing more expensive interventions like psychiatric hospitalizations. For marginalized communities especially, it provides access to support and resources that might otherwise be unavailable.

Other Crisis Resources Still Available

While concerns about national suicide prevention lifeline funding are serious, it’s important to know that other crisis support options are still available. If you can’t get through to 988 or need specialized support, these resources can help:

  • National Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 for free, confidential support 24/7. This service operates independently of 988 and connects you with trained crisis counselors via text message.
  • The Trevor Project: Provides crisis support specifically for LGBTQ+ youth through phone (1-866-488-7386), text (START to 678-678), and online chat. Available 24/7 with counselors trained in LGBTQ+ issues.
  • Veterans Crisis Line: Call 988 and press 1, text 838255, or chat online. This specialized service for veterans, service members, and their families has dedicated funding and staff.
  • Crisis Text Line en Español: Text HOLA to 741741 for Spanish-language crisis support. Many local crisis centers also offer bilingual services.

Many communities also have local crisis hotlines, mobile crisis teams, and walk-in crisis centers. Your local 211 service (dial 2-1-1) can help you find nearby mental health resources and crisis support options.

The Advocacy Response

Mental health advocates nationwide are actively responding to the funding cuts to the national suicide hotline. Leading organizations have issued press releases and public statements urging Congress and the White House to restore and expand funding, emphasizing that access to crisis services is a matter of life and death for vulnerable communities.

Advocates stress that mental health is a bipartisan issue. “Suicide prevention is about risk, not identity,”5 says Jaymes Black, CEO of The Trevor Project. But Black also reminds affected communities that not all hope is lost:

I want to be clear to all LGBTQ+ young people: This news, while upsetting, is not final. And regardless of federal funding shifts, The Trevor Project remains available 24/7 for anyone who needs us, just as we always have.6

What You Can Do

If you’re concerned about these changes, here are ways to help:

  • Contact your elected officials to express support for 988 funding
  • Support nonprofit organizations working on mental health advocacy
  • Share accurate information about available resources in your community
  • Learn the warning signs of suicide and how to help someone in crisis

Moving Forward

988 remains available 24/7 for anyone in crisis, but some communities are disproportionately impacted when it comes to specialized services and response. The system’s long-term capacity depends on sustained and equitable investment from federal and state governments.

If you or someone you love is struggling, remember that help is still available. Aside from crisis support, you can also search for treatment centers that specialize in treating suicidal thoughts and behaviors for comprehensive care. 

Make a safety plan, connect with support, and remember—your story isn’t over yet.

FAQs

Q: Did Trump administration budget cuts affect the suicide hotline services? 

A: Funding reductions were proposed in early 20257 and confirmed on July 17th, 2025, as part of broader budget constraints from the Office of Management and Budget during the current administration. While the 988 hotline remains operational, the cuts will affect crucial services for LGBTQ+ youth as well as affect expansion and capacity-building.

Q: Did Trump’s suicide helpline cuts push Canada to step in for Americans? 

A: There’s no evidence that Canada has stepped in8 to provide crisis services for Americans due to these funding changes. This false claim stems from a viral social media post. The 988 lifeline continues to operate in the United States, though with reduced capacity.

Q: Did President Trump make any changes to the national suicide prevention hotline? 

A: The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline itself wasn’t changed or eliminated. However, federal budget for expanding the program were proposed in early 2025 and passed in July 2025, which affect the system’s ability to meet increasing demand.

Posted on

Johnny’s Journey: 12 Insights on Healing from Suicidality and Rock Bottom

Growing up, Johnny experienced persistent anxiety, but early attempts at therapy didn’t resonate. Depression took hold in high school, escalating in college to a point of paralyzing hopelessness. His days became a blur of missed classes, work, and a desperate reliance on drugs and alcohol to numb the pain. Blackouts became frequent as he sought oblivion from the torment of simply existing. “I was really just not enjoying um, just being alive like every day was, was painful,” Johnny recalled. Self-hatred consumed him, leading to dark thoughts and even a suicide note.

Behind a carefully constructed facade of intoxication, Johnny hid his struggles. Friends remained unaware of the internal battle raging within. “Because I would use all the substances to pretend like everything was okay,” he explained. His escapes involved alcohol, cocaine, and occasionally other substances, each night a fleeting attempt to find a “fun,” pain-free experience, only to be followed by the harsh realities of memory loss and regret. The transition from casual use to a desperate need for escape was subtle but significant. “And I don’t think there’s any like healthy way to do drugs, but I definitely like, I guess the mindset changed from…oh, let’s party kind of way to let me just like escape for a little bit. I need to do this,” Johnny realized.

The turning point came during a night of intense despair in his fraternity house. Confessing his suicidal thoughts to his parents over the phone prompted their immediate intervention. Their worry and subsequent arrival became the catalyst for change, overriding the bleak thought that his absence wouldn’t matter. “I had come to a point where I was thinking like  everybody in my life would be able to get over me killing myself, I guess. but I was just struggling with feeling like my mom couldn’t get over it. And then seeing her the next day kind of like cemented that, you know, I would not wanna leave her like broken like that.” His initial approach to seeking help was a last resort, a fragile hope in the darkness. “I gave recovery a shot. If I can fix my IBS and fix my depression and suicidality, then great. And if not, I can just take my life afterwards.”

Navigating the vastness of the internet in search of help for mental health and substance use felt like an insurmountable task for Johnny. The sheer volume of information was paralyzing, making it difficult to know where to begin. However, discovering Recovery.com provided a much-needed sense of clarity and direction. This platform offered a structured approach to finding treatment options, categorizing facilities and providing comprehensive information, reviews, and resources in one accessible place. This streamlined process transformed the overwhelming search into a manageable step towards finding help.

2. The Importance of Comprehensive and Individualized Care

Johnny’s struggles extended beyond substance abuse, encompassing depression, anxiety, and even gambling issues. Therefore, finding a treatment center that offered a holistic approach was crucial. Recovery.com facilitated this by allowing him to identify facilities that addressed a range of co-occurring disorders. This ensured that he wouldn’t feel like an outlier and that his specific needs would be met, paving the way for more effective and meaningful treatment.

3. The Calming Influence of Shared Experiences

The fear of the unknown surrounding treatment was significant for Johnny. However, a conversation with someone who had previously attended the facility he was considering helped to alleviate some of his anxieties. Hearing firsthand about their experiences provided a sense of reassurance and demystified the process. This highlights the profound impact that sharing personal stories can have in offering hope and guidance to those contemplating seeking help.

4. Johnny’s Gradual Integration into a Supportive Community

Entering treatment felt like stepping into an unfamiliar world for Johnny. Adjusting to the structured environment and connecting with strangers took time. The initial days were marked by a sense of disorientation. However, the gradual integration into the recovery community proved to be a pivotal aspect of his healing journey. The shared experiences and mutual support fostered a sense of belonging and understanding that countered the isolation he had previously felt.

5. The Unexpected Bonds of Resident-Led Support

While the formal treatment program was essential, the informal support networks within the facility also played a significant role for Johnny. The resident-run AA group created a strong sense of camaraderie and provided an additional layer of support and understanding. This highlights the power of peer-to-peer connections in fostering a sense of community and shared recovery.

6. Breaking Free from the Grip of Isolation

Both depression and substance use thrive in isolation, reinforcing negative self-perceptions. Connecting with others in recovery who had experienced similar struggles shattered the illusion of being alone in his pain. Witnessing their vulnerability and resilience offered a powerful message of hope and the possibility of recovery for Johnny.

7. The Profound Impact of Empathy and Shared Humanity

Sharing space with individuals from diverse backgrounds and with different struggles fostered a deep sense of empathy and connection for Johnny. Hearing their stories and witnessing their strength in the face of adversity broadened his perspective and reinforced the understanding that despite our differences, we share a common human experience marked by both pain and the capacity for healing.

8. Shifting from Escape to Healthy Engagement

Johnny’s substance use had been a maladaptive coping mechanism, a way to escape emotional pain. As he addressed the underlying issues in therapy and developed healthier coping strategies, his relationship with substances shifted. The intense craving for escape diminished, allowing for a more balanced and conscious approach to social situations involving alcohol.

9. Addressing Root Causes for Lasting Healing

Treatment provided the crucial opportunity for Johnny to delve into past traumas and experiences that had contributed to his mental health struggles. By processing these experiences with the guidance of a therapist, he began to understand the origins of his pain and develop healthier ways of coping. This focus on addressing the root causes, rather than just the symptoms, is essential for long-term healing and well-being.

10. Cultivating Purpose as a Foundation for Recovery

Finding a sense of purpose and meaning in life became an integral part of Johnny’s recovery. Identifying activities, relationships, and passions that brought joy and fulfillment provided a positive focus and a reason to move forward. This emphasis on creating a life worth living is a vital component of sustained recovery.

11. The Importance of Aftercare Planning

Recognizing that recovery is an ongoing process, the treatment program emphasized the significance of aftercare planning for Johnny. Developing a concrete plan for therapy, support groups, and healthy lifestyle choices provided a sense of direction and helped to mitigate the anxiety of returning to everyday life. This proactive approach increases the likelihood of sustained recovery and continued growth.

12. Embracing a Holistic Path to Well-being

Ultimately, Johnny’s journey to recovery involved a holistic approach that addressed the interconnectedness of his mental health, substance use, and overall well-being. By addressing past traumas, developing coping skills, building a supportive community, and cultivating a sense of purpose, he began to move from a place of despair towards hope and healing. This comprehensive approach underscores the complexity of recovery and the importance of addressing all aspects of an individual’s life.

Posted on

How to Stop Suicidal Thoughts: Find Support for You or a Loved One

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, hopeless, or unsure how to keep going, please hear this: what you’re feeling is real—and your life deeply matters. 

Suicidal thoughts can feel isolating and unbearable, but there is help and there is hope. 

Whether you’ve struggled in silence for a long time or these feelings are new and frightening, reaching out for support can be the first step toward relief. Reaching out for help, talking to a mental health professional,1 or connecting with a support network2 can make a critical difference.

Illustration of a person sitting on the floor with knees drawn to chest, looking toward a doorway with light streaming in, accompanied by the message: Suicidal thoughts are often a signal of deep pain—not a true desire to die. With the right support, pain can be treated—and life can still change.

In your clinical experience, what are the most effective ways to support someone in the midst of a suicidal crisis—and how can everyday people offer meaningful help?

To support someone in a suicidal crisis, it’s most important to help them stay safe and to stay connected. Ask them how they’re feeling, listen to them nonjudgmentally, and talk about their suicidal thoughts openly and clearly. If the person wants professional support, offer to help them call 988, text ‘HOME’ to 741741, or get to the closest crisis center or emergency room. Otherwise, offer to support them in other ways that you feel comfortable—staying with them, going on a walk or watching TV together, connecting them with other loved ones, helping them complete an errand or get something to eat, or continuing to talk about what’s going on—and then follow-up with a caring text, call, or check-in later.

Kiki Fehling, PhD, DBT-LBC

Meeting Yourself Where You Are

When experiencing suicidal thoughts, even basic self-care can feel overwhelming. Instead of setting expectations to immediately build a support network, acknowledge where you are right now. Getting through the next hour, or even the next five minutes, is a valid goal. You can meet yourself where you are with grace and acceptance.

Infographic titled, Factors That Increase Risk of Suicide, featuring icons and phrases such as mental health conditions, substance use or withdrawal, chronic pain or illness, isolation, trauma, recent loss, financial stress, discrimination, access to lethal means, and family history. On the right, a person is shown hunched over, burdened by overlapping warning signs.

Why Do I Feel Suicidal?

Suicidal feelings often arise from a mix of emotional, psychological, and environmental factors, including:

  • Mental health conditions3 like depression, bipolar disorder, or anxiety
  • Chronic health problems4 or physical pain
  • Substance use or withdrawal
  • Isolation, shame, trauma, or identity-based discrimination

Why Suicide Can Seem Like the Only Option

During a mental health crisis, your ability to think clearly or see alternatives may become impaired. Thoughts of suicide can feel like the only escape from emotional pain, but there are other ways to find relief. 

Depression, trauma, or overwhelming stress can cloud your judgment and make it difficult to see beyond your current suffering. This cognitive distortion, where everything feels permanent and hopeless, is a hallmark of suicidal thinking. In these moments, the brain’s ability to process options narrows, making death seem like the only way out. 

But suicidal thoughts are symptoms, not truths. With the right support, your perspective can shift, and you can begin to see other ways to reduce pain and reclaim your life.

Infographic titled, 5 Steps to Help Someone Struggling With Suicidal Thoughts, featuring five action steps: 1) Directly ask, 2) Keep them safe, 3) Be there for them, 4) Help them connect, and 5) Stay connected. Each step includes a tip and supportive example statement. Visual includes symbolic icons and reaching hands.

A Suicidal Crisis Is Almost Always Temporary

Strong suicidal urges often peak and fade. Many people who survive an attempted suicide later report feeling grateful they did not end their lives. Crisis support can help you move through this moment safely.

Intense emotional pain can convince you that it will last forever, but it won’t. Research shows that suicidal thoughts often rise sharply and then fade,5 much like a wave cresting before it recedes. 

Many people who survive suicide attempts report that they felt differently within minutes, hours, or days. They often express deep relief and gratitude for surviving. If you can ride out the storm—even for a few minutes—it opens the door for healing. Reaching out for help, calling a crisis line, or talking to someone you trust can be the first step toward making it through this moment alive and supported.

Even Problems That Seem Hopeless Have Solutions

You may not see it now, but solutions exist—even if they don’t feel immediately accessible. Talk therapy and peer support6 can help uncover new ways of coping.

When you’re overwhelmed, it can feel like your problems are too big or too complex to fix. But even the most painful circumstances like abuse, loss, shame, financial strain, or addiction, can improve with time, care, and support. 

Therapies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) have helped countless people develop tools to manage emotions and rebuild their lives. Peer support groups, faith-based communities, and crisis counselors can also offer perspective and encouragement. You don’t have to solve everything alone, and you don’t have to do it all at once. Small steps can lead to profound change.

If You’re Feeling Suicidal, Take These Immediate Actions

If you are in immediate danger, please call 988 or visit the nearest emergency room. You can also reach out to:

Small steps can interrupt harmful patterns. Try grounding techniques, journaling, or connecting with someone you trust.

When the urge to self-harm feels strong, commit to waiting—even for just 24 hours. This pause gives you time to access coping strategies and reconnect with support systems.

Suicide Crisis Lines Worldwide

Plan Ahead and Create a Suicide Prevention Plan

When you’re struggling with suicidal thoughts—or supporting someone who is—it can be difficult to see a way forward. But creating a suicide prevention plan offers a proactive, lifesaving path through crisis. By identifying support systems, warning signs, and personalized coping tools ahead of time, you can regain a sense of control and safety. The following strategies combine professional care, community support, and daily wellness practices to help prevent suicidal ideation and promote long-term mental health.

  • Preventing Suicidal Ideation: Preventing suicidal ideation involves several approaches that address mental health, social connections, and lifestyle factors. Here are some evidence-based strategies:
  • Seek Professional Help: Mental health professionals can provide proper diagnosis and treatment for conditions that may contribute to suicidal thoughts, such as depression, anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, and substance use disorders. This can include therapy, medication, or a combination of both.
  • Build a Support Network:9 Maintain regular contact with supportive friends, family members, or support groups who can provide emotional support during difficult times. Having people to talk to openly about feelings can reduce isolation.
  • Develop Healthy Coping Skills: Learning healthy ways to manage stress and emotional pain is crucial. This might include mindfulness meditation, deep breathing exercises, physical activity, journaling, or engaging in creative outlets like art or music.
  • Create a Safety Plan:10 Having a written plan that outlines warning signs, coping strategies, people to contact for help, and ways to make your environment safe can be invaluable during a crisis. This plan should be easily accessible.
  • Limit Access to Means: Reducing access11 to potentially lethal means, such as firearms or large quantities of medication, is an important preventive measure.
  • Address Substance Use: Alcohol and drugs can worsen suicidal thoughts and impair judgment. Getting help for substance use issues can reduce suicide risk.
  • Maintain Physical Health: Regular exercise, adequate sleep, and proper nutrition can positively impact mental health and reduce symptoms that may contribute to suicidal thoughts.

How to Help Someone Who is Suicidal

Experiencing suicidal thoughts or watching a loved one struggle with suicidal feelings can be frightening and overwhelming. It’s important to know that suicidal ideation is often a symptom of underlying mental illness or emotional distress, and help is available. 

If someone is showing warning signs such as talking about ending their own life, withdrawing from others, or engaging in self-harm, they may be at immediate risk and need urgent care.

  • Encourage them to connect with a mental health professional or call a crisis line like the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline can be life-saving. Trained counselors can provide compassionate, non-judgmental support and guide them through mental health crisis situations.
  • Offer alternatives like creating a safety plan, joining a support group, or just being part of their support network can reduce their risk of suicide. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, asking direct questions like “Are you thinking about hurting yourself?” shows concern and does not increase the chance of a suicide attempt—instead, it opens the door for support. 

Continued follow-up after a crisis and access to affordable mental health care are essential, especially for those affected by substance abuse or facing barriers to mental health services. Whether you’re a family member, a friend, or a peer, knowing how to help someone by recognizing the signs and connecting them to professional help like Samaritans or 988 can truly make a difference.

No matter how dark things feel right now, this moment does not define your future. 

What do you wish more people understood about the nature of suicidal thoughts, and how can early intervention or mental health literacy reduce stigma and save lives?

As a multi-attempt survivor, I have lived with stigma surrounding suicide my entire life and was always told how it is a ‘sin’ or ‘selfish’ just to have those thoughts. Working in mental health has shown me time and time again how common suicidal ideation is, and how individuals should have the ability to openly talk about and receive care and compassion in response.

When we talk about early intervention, we need to address how the discussion surrounding suicide needs to change, and entire communities need access to resources, such as NAMI, that provide education on suicide & prevention. The more we fight the idea that suicide and suicidal ideation are ‘taboo’ topics, the more we are removing shame and opening the conversation, which will save lives.

Sage Nestler, MSW | Releasing the Phoenix

It’s okay if reaching out feels impossible right now. When you’re in that kind of pain, asking for help can take more strength than most people will ever understand. Suicidal thoughts can cloud your sense of hope, making it feel like there’s no way out. But, it is important to remember that these thoughts are not permanent. You don’t have to face them alone. 

Whether it’s calling a crisis line, confiding in a trusted friend, or simply making it through one more day, every small step is a powerful act of survival. You deserve support. You deserve healing.

There are people who care about you, who want to help you, and who believe in your worth—especially when you’re struggling to see it yourself. Treatment is available that meets you where you are, without judgment or pressure.

FAQs

Q: What should I do if someone I know is suicidal?


A: If someone is expressing thoughts of suicide, stay with them and help them feel heard. Encourage them to contact a crisis counselor or call/text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If they are in immediate danger, do not leave them alone—call 911 or take them to the nearest emergency room.

Q: What are the 5 action steps for helping someone in emotional pain?


A: According to the National Institute of Mental Health, the five steps are:

  1. Ask
  2. Keep them safe
  3. Be there
  4. Help them connect
  5. Stay connected

These steps can reduce the risk of suicide and make a critical difference in someone’s recovery.

Q: What not to say to someone who is suicidal?

A: Avoid saying things that minimize their pain like “just snap out of it” or “you have so much to live for.” These statements can feel invalidating. Instead, listen without judgment and direct them toward mental health support.

Q: How to deal with a loved one being suicidal?


A: Support them with empathy and without panic. Help them develop a safety plan, remove access to means of self-harm, and stay in close contact. Encourage them to seek professional care, such as talk therapy or outpatient services.

Q: Why does someone have suicidal thoughts?


A: Suicidal thoughts often stem from complex interactions between mental illness, trauma, substance use, physical pain, or intense emotional distress. Life stressors like relationship breakdowns or discrimination can worsen these feelings, especially in marginalized groups like the LGBTQ+ community.

Q: What is suicidal ideation?


A: Suicidal ideation refers to thoughts about or planning suicide. These thoughts can range from passive (“I wish I weren’t here”) to active (“I want to end my life”). Ideation doesn’t always lead to action but should always be taken seriously.

Q: How can I know if they’re in immediate danger?


A: Immediate danger signs include talking about wanting to die, having a plan, giving away possessions, or withdrawing suddenly. According to the 988 Lifeline, any mention of intent or means to attempt suicide requires urgent intervention.

Q: Who is most at risk of suicide?


A: High-risk groups include people with untreated mental health conditions, individuals with a history of trauma or abuse, those with access to lethal means, and members of marginalized communities. LGBTQ+ youth, veterans, and those with chronic illnesses or a history of substance use are especially vulnerable.

Q: Is there a link between self-harm and suicide?


A: Yes. While not all self-harm leads to suicide, individuals who engage in self-injury are at a higher risk of suicidal behavior. Both are serious signs of emotional distress and require compassionate intervention.

Q: What are warning signs for suicide?


A: Warning signs include increased substance abuse, feelings of hopelessness, social withdrawal, changes in sleep or eating, and expressing a desire to die. The CDC provides a comprehensive overview of behavioral risk indicators.

Q: How can I support a friend who is feeling suicidal?


A: Be present, listen nonjudgmentally, and offer to help them access a helpline or mental health professional. Encourage connection to a support group or peer support community. Just knowing someone cares can be powerful.

Posted on

Maria’s Path to Peace: 7 Steps Towards Mental Health Recovery

Maria’s journey through the depths of depression and anxiety offers a powerful testament to the transformative potential of seeking recovery for mental health challenges. Her story, filled with raw honesty and hard-won wisdom, illuminates the path toward healing and a more fulfilling life. From the darkness of suicidal thoughts to the radiant joy of pursuing her dreams and finding true love, Maria’s experience underscores the profound impact of prioritizing self-care and embracing vulnerability. Her insights provide a beacon of hope for anyone grappling with similar struggles, offering practical steps and a message of profound self-acceptance.

1. Recognizing the Need for Change

Maria’s turning point came during her “lowest part of my life,” entangled in a toxic relationship marked by “cheating” and “emotional abuse.” She realized she was relying on her partner to be her savior, a burden no one person can truly bear. This pivotal moment of recognizing the unsustainability of her situation and the depth of her despair was the catalyst for seeking help.

2. The Life-Changing Decision to Seek Therapy

The suggestion from her partner to seek therapy, born out of a moment of crisis, proved to be the “decision that changed everything.” Maria emphasizes the vital role her therapist played in helping her navigate out of the toxic relationship and onto a path of healing. She says, “That therapist helped me get out of that relationship, believe it or not, and I was able to find the right medication dose that was right for me.” Therapy provided her with a safe space to process her emotions, gain perspective, and develop coping mechanisms.

Explore treatment options for depression and anxiety.

3. The Role of Medication and Holistic Self-Care

Maria’s experience highlights the importance of considering medication as a valuable tool in mental health recovery. For her, finding the “right medication dose” was crucial in managing her depression by addressing the imbalance of serotonin in her brain. She astutely compares this to managing a physical illness like diabetes, emphasizing that mental health conditions often have a biological basis that may require medical intervention.

“No one would ever say to you if you have diabetes, to just like get over it. Just make your blood sugar change, like you can’t do that. And if you’re somebody who doesn’t have the proper chemicals being admitted in their brain, then you need a little bit of help. And there’s nothing wrong with doing that, and there’s nothing wrong with taking it.”

Beyond medication, Maria underscores the significance of a holistic approach to self-care, including:

  • Nutritious Eating: Fueling the body with proper nutrition supports overall well-being, including mental health.
  • Exercise: Finding enjoyable forms of exercise, like yoga and weight training, helps to reduce stress, improve mood, and enhance physical health. Regular physical activity has been consistently linked to improved mental health outcomes, including reducing depression and anxiety symptoms1.
  • Abstaining from Alcohol: Maria identifies alcohol as a “toxin” that negatively impacted her mental state, relationships, and physical health. Eliminating alcohol brought her “mind more at peace” and improved her clarity of thought. Research highlights the complex relationship between alcohol and mental health disorders, noting that alcohol can exacerbate symptoms of anxiety and depression2.

4. The Power of Selfishness and Selflessness

Maria shares a seemingly paradoxical yet profoundly important insight: recovery requires “being selfish” in order to “be selfless.” By “selfish,” she means prioritizing her own needs for therapy, exercise, and nourishment – activities she had previously neglected while focusing on others. This act of self-care was essential for her healing.

When Maria first fills her own cup, she can then extend that compassion towards others, creating “selfless” acts of kindness to make the world a brighter place. Prioritizing your own well-being is not selfish; it is a necessary foundation for recovery.

“You have to be able to give yourself grace. You have to be able to forgive yourself. Like we’re humans, nobody is perfect. We’re all gonna make mistakes. And I used to constantly beat myself up for the mistakes that I made. Finally, when I let up, when I just let that guilt go, I can like even feel the relief now.”

5. Recovery as an Ongoing Journey, Not a Destination

Maria stresses that recovery is not a one-time achievement but an ongoing process. It requires continuous self-care, including consistent medication, regular check-ins with a therapist, and maintaining a supportive network. She likens it to the routine maintenance of a car, emphasizing the need for regular “tune-ups” for mental health.

She also highlights the importance of leaning on others, acknowledging her own struggle with wanting to do everything independently. Knowing who you can rely on provides crucial support during challenging times and helps prevent falling “off the beaten path.”

6. A Life Transformed: The Rewards of Recovery

Maria vividly describes the profound transformation in her life since embarking on her recovery journey. She has pursued her lifelong dream of becoming a writer and actress, found a loving and supportive partner, and built a fulfilling life in a new city surrounded by a strong community. This stark contrast to her previous state underscores the immense rewards of prioritizing mental health.

7. Practical Advice for Those Starting Their Journey

Maria offers heartfelt and practical advice for individuals facing similar challenges:

  1. Prioritize Self-Care: This includes taking prescribed medication, seeking therapy, and engaging in activities that nurture your well-being.
  2. Seek Therapy: Persevere in finding a therapist you connect with, even if it takes time.
  3. Consider Abstaining from Alcohol: Even without an addiction, alcohol can negatively impact mental and physical health.
  4. Exercise Regularly: Find a form of physical activity you enjoy to help manage stress and improve mood.
  5. Focus on Nutrition: Prioritize healthy eating habits to support overall well-being.
  6. Practice Self-Forgiveness: Let go of guilt and self-blame, treating yourself with the same compassion you would offer a friend.
  7. Trust Your Inner Wisdom: Take quiet time to listen to your own thoughts and intuition, as you often hold the best answers for yourself.

“Deep down. You’ll find the answers of where you need to go, what path you need to follow, what’s right for you, what you need to do, what you need to stop doing. Deep down, you know all of it because nobody knows you better than you.”

Maria’s powerful narrative serves as an inspiring reminder that recovery from mental health challenges is possible. By sharing her personal journey and offering practical advice, she provides a message of hope and encouragement for anyone seeking their own path toward peace and well-being.

Starting the journey of mental health recovery involves prioritizing self-care, seeking professional support, and cultivating self-compassion. Trusting your inner guidance and being open to change are essential steps forward. For further support and resources, check out Recovery.com.

Posted on

Creating a Safety Plan for Times of Suicidal Crisis: Gina Capobianco

I have lived with depression for decades. Suicidal thoughts have accompanied the depression most of my life. While facing a difficult time a couple years ago, the psychiatric nurse practitioner (PMHNP) I was seeing brought up the idea of a safety plan. I had never heard of this type of plan but was willing to try it.

Like many people with suicidal thoughts, when the depression is not bearing down on me, I don’t want to die. It is just when the thoughts get going and the depression turns everything dark that dying seems like my only escape. I needed a plan for dealing with the suicidal thoughts.

My PMHNP explained what a safety plan is and how it works. A safety plan is an intervention that helps a person survive a suicidal crisis by providing them with a set of steps, which they have helped create, to follow during the crisis that will decrease the chances they will engage in the suicidal behavior.  My PMHNP described the plan as my action steps for when I feel that the suicidal thoughts are becoming overwhelming. Together we laid out the plan. It has been necessary for me to use the safety plan a couple of times, and it has been effective each time.

Let’s go through the steps my PMHNP and I used when creating my safety plan.

Purpose of a Safety Plan

First, we identified the purpose of the safety plan. The main purpose of a safety plan is to prevent suicide. The plan provides a way to cope with the crisis of suicidal thoughts using a guide to get help in a way that is comfortable and not overwhelming. The plan allows an individual to reach out to family or friends, who will serve as a support person, as well as provides connections to mental health professionals. The plan lets the support person know how to help you in a crisis.  

It is helpful if the plan is written in the individual’s own words. This ensures the person understands the steps and can enact the plan in a crisis. The words should be simple and easy to follow. The person should keep it in a place that is easily accessible. The people involved in enacting the safety plan should also have a copy. 

Components of a Safety Plan

Identifies When It Will Be Used

The safety plan should spell out when it will be enacted. I discussed this with my PMHNP.  Discussing this with your mental health professional can ensure that you are aware of when to utilize it.  When the plan is used differs for each individual. So, the plan should include when to enact it in language that can be comprehended in a crisis. My plan is enacted when I recognize my thoughts becoming overwhelming and I start thinking about acting on my suicidal thoughts.

Provides Coping Strategies 

Coping strategies are going to vary from person to person. These may include breathing exercises, meditation practice, distractions, or anything that helps the person cope with suicidal thoughts. The plan should include how to know if the strategies are working. If the coping strategies are not working or the person recognizes they are beyond the use of coping strategies, it is time to reach out for support. My coping strategies include journaling and listening to music. When these are not working it means it is time to reach out for help.

Identifies Individual(s) Who Will Support You

When you are in a suicidal crisis, you need to be able to reach out to others for support. When developing your plan, identify a friend or family member who you can reach out to. The individuals on the safety plan need to be willingly involved and consent to being a part of the plan. It is not enough to just be willing to be part of the plan. The individuals need to be able to be an active part of the plan. You need to be able to reach them in a crisis. Share your plan with them and make sure they understand the plan. Your plan should also include who your mental health professionals are and their contact information. In addition, the 988 number, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, should be a part of your plan. 

Provides the Questions Your Support Person Will Ask You

Your support person refers to the safety plan when you contact them. My support person has the safety plan on her phone, so she does not have to look for it.  The first question the support person should ask is if you are safe. If you are not safe, they may need to call for emergency support. My plan is set up so that I am asked if I need comfort or support once it is established that I am safe. This gives the person an idea of how severe my suicidal thoughts are at that moment. 

If I respond that I need comfort, my support person will ask me if I need to be listened to or distracted? She then responds accordingly. If I respond that I need support, she will ask me if I need her to help connect me to my mental health professional or if I need her to do it for me.  If I respond that I need help, she reminds me of who to call and may need to provide the number. As I make the call, she stays in contact with me through texting. 

Provides Steps to Be Taken to Get Professional Help

If I need her to make the contact for me, she asks me for my location and what I am thinking. She will relay this information to my mental health professional when she contacts them. 

The 988 Hotline can be called if it seems like I need professional support, and it is at a time when my mental health professionals would not be able to be reached. Some people may not have mental health professionals that can be contacted. In this situation, if the person is not in imminent danger 988 can be contacted. The person can make the call themselves or the support person can call for them. 

If I say or indicate that I am not safe, my support person may need to call 911. While waiting for emergency help to arrive, my support person needs to stay in contact with me. It is important not to leave a person who is in crisis alone. The responders on the 988 hotline and at 911 have the ability to transfer a caller to the other line depending on the need and the level of safety concern.

Plan for Follow-Up

Once intervention has taken place the support person should follow-up with the individual. When my support person does this, it lets me know that I am not alone.  The support person should check in to see how the individual is doing and to ensure that the care provided was helpful. My support person calls me to just talk.

Conclusion

Having a safety plan has made a difference in how I cope with suicidal thoughts. It ensures that I am safe even in my darkest moments. Being a part of a safety plan requires a commitment on the part of the support person. I am grateful that I have a friend who is willing to fill this role. If you deal with suicidal thoughts, talk to your mental health professional about creating a safety plan. Your plan may look different than mine. That is okay. We each have our own needs and cope with our suicidal thoughts in our individual ways. Despite the differences, a safety plan can prevent a suicide attempt and save a life.