Tag: Trauma

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What Happens in Recovery: Sam’s 11+ Lessons from Addiction to Sobriety

Addiction can feel like an unending cycle of pain, disappointment, and desperation, not only for the person struggling but also for their loved ones. For many, the focus is on the substance itself—the alcohol, the pills, the cocaine—and the frantic search for a way to stop using. However, as recovery advocate Sam Davis explains, this approach often misses the core of the problem. In a recent podcast, Davis shared his personal story, revealing that the true battle isn’t with the substance but with the underlying emotional pain, mistaken belief systems, and traumatic experiences that drive a person to seek escape.

Davis’s journey from a childhood marred by trauma and low self-esteem to a life of peace and freedom offers a powerful testament to the idea that addiction is not a moral failing but a result of deep-seated pain. He found that true healing came not from simply abstaining from drugs but from doing the difficult internal work of rebuilding his life’s foundation. Through his story, Davis offers a new perspective on addiction, one that shifts the focus from the symptoms to the root cause, providing hope and a clear path forward for those who are struggling.

1. Addiction Is a Result of a Problem, Not the Problem Itself

When we see someone struggling with addiction, our natural instinct is to focus on their substance use. We might blame them for their choices, plead with them to stop, or try to control their access to drugs or alcohol. But Davis argues that this approach is fundamentally flawed because it ignores the deeper issue. “I would hope that people would take away the fact that addiction is just a result of a problem,” Davis states, “a problem of pain, emotional, mental crisis, and that we all struggle with addictions to something.” He emphasizes that the real focus should be on treating the pain, not just the behavior that results from it.

Davis’s personal story illustrates this point perfectly. His addiction wasn’t the result of a desire to be reckless; it was a desperate attempt to cope with profound emotional turmoil that began in childhood. He explains that he was “really in recovery from the mistaken belief systems” he had developed over a lifetime. These beliefs—that he was “faulty,” “dirty,” and had no value—were the true problems. The drugs were simply his temporary, and ultimately destructive, solution to a pain he didn’t know how to handle. This perspective encourages a more compassionate and effective approach to treatment, one that seeks to understand and heal the individual’s core pain rather than just managing their substance use.

2. Childhood Trauma Can Lay the Foundation for Addiction

Davis’s feelings of not belonging started early in his life. He recalls being laughed at for his stutter as a child, which made him feel like an outcast. However, the most significant turning point came at the age of 10 when he was molested. This event solidified his mistaken belief system and became a secret he carried for decades. “That really hammered in that I’m faulty, that I’m dirty, that I don’t amount to much and I have no value in this world,” he says. This trauma, combined with the shame and secrecy surrounding it, became a powerful driver of his later addiction.

The experience created a deep sense of a loss of authenticity. Davis remembers feeling as if he wasn’t a “real man” because he couldn’t prevent the molestation, and he vowed that “no one can ever know” about it. This secret, this “stain,” as he called it, became a heavy burden that he tried to numb with drugs. His story highlights a critical link between unresolved childhood trauma and substance use disorders. Research has shown that adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) are a significant risk factor for developing addiction later in life1.

Explore trauma treatment options.

3. The “Addict” Ism Exists Long Before Substance Use Begins

Davis makes a powerful and somewhat provocative statement: he was a “drug addict before [he] ever picked up a drug or started drinking.” He explains that the addiction isn’t just about the substance; it’s about the feelings that drive a person to seek it out. For him, these were feelings of “uselessness,” an inability to control his “emotional natures,” and being “completely driven by fear.” He was struggling with these internal issues long before he took his first hit of marijuana at age 12.

When he finally did smoke that joint, it worked. For the first time, he felt a sense of belonging and comfort in his own skin. It was a “temporary solution” to a problem that had been festering for years. “I had the ism and I found the solution to it when I was 12,” he explains. This perspective challenges the common belief that addiction begins the moment someone first uses a substance. Instead, it suggests that the predisposition, or the “ism” of addiction, is an internal condition driven by emotional and psychological distress. The substance simply becomes the chosen—and ultimately destructive—tool for coping with that condition. This idea is supported by research into the bio-psycho-social model of addiction, which posits that a combination of genetic, psychological, and social factors contributes to the development of a substance use disorder.

4. The Physical Allergy and Mental Obsession of Addiction

For many people, the idea of an addict being unable to control their substance use is difficult to understand. They might think, “Why can’t they just have one drink?” or “Why can’t they just stop?” Davis explains this phenomenon using a concept described by Dr. William D. Silkworth, a physician who specialized in treating alcoholism in the early 20th century. Silkworth referred to it as a “physical allergy,” where consuming a substance “sets off what’s called the phenomenon of craving.” This craving is “beyond human comprehension” and compels the person to use more and more.

Davis vividly describes how this played out in his own life. He could tell himself he was only going to have one drink or smoke a little cocaine, but once the substance was in his system, a powerful craving took over, and he “lost the power of choice.” This physical craving is then compounded by a “mental obsession.” His mind would run “all these combinations about how this time is gonna work,” convincing him he could control his use, even though all his past experiences proved otherwise. He would “buy the lie again” and the cycle would continue. This mental obsession is a powerful force that can be difficult for non-addicts to comprehend. It’s not a matter of willpower; it’s a condition where the mind is essentially lying to the individual, telling them that this time will be different.

5. Selfishness in Addiction Is a Matter of Survival

When an addict’s behavior becomes destructive, their actions are often labeled as selfish. Davis acknowledges this, saying, “I mean, we are, I mean, everything is is about us.” However, he clarifies that this isn’t because addicts are “inherently just assholes.” Instead, he explains that it’s a function of being in survival mode. Many people with addiction, especially those with a history of trauma, are constantly in a state of fight-or-flight.

In this state, all a person can think about is their next move to get the relief they need. Davis recalls a deeply painful example of this from his own life. When his wife was in labor with their child, he drove her in the opposite direction of the hospital to meet his pill dealer. “I didn’t think anything of it,” he admits. This seemingly monstrous act was, to him, a necessary step in survival. His mind told him that if he didn’t get his pills, he would face an “unfathomable amount of pain and discomfort.” This fear, this need to avoid a feeling he couldn’t cope with, eclipsed all other considerations, including his wife’s pain and the birth of his child. This demonstrates how the self-centeredness of addiction is not a conscious choice to be cruel but an extreme, fear-driven response to a perceived threat to one’s well-being.

6. Desperation is the Catalyst for Change

For years, Davis went through a cycle of wanting to get sober and then relapsing. He went to treatment multiple times, but none of them stuck. He had the “want,” but he “lacked the willingness to do anything about it.” The reason for this, he realized, was that he hadn’t yet reached a state of true desperation. His family, in a misguided attempt to help, was unknowingly enabling his addiction by providing him with a safety net. “I knew that it wasn’t a sink or swim moment,” he says. Because he had options and knew he wouldn’t be completely on his own, he never fully committed to recovery.

This all changed when his family got educated on how to deal with his addiction. They intervened and gave him a clear choice: go to a long-term treatment center with no discharge date or go to jail. When he tried to leave the program two months in, he called his dad for a bus ticket, hoping for the same enabling support he had always received. But this time, his dad said, “No. Figure it out. Love you. Bye.” That was the moment everything shifted. “That was my life-changing moment,” he recalls. This “gift of desperation” provided the pain he needed to fully surrender and become willing to do the hard work of recovery.

7. The Gift of Time and the Power of Accountability

Davis’s last treatment experience was unlike any of the others he had been through. He describes it as the “Navy Seals of treatment centers,” designed for individuals “reluctant to recover.” One of the most critical differences was the removal of a discharge date. In his previous programs, the limited time frame gave him a sense of an end date, which prevented him from truly surrendering. In this program, with no end in sight, he was forced to face himself. “You’re gonna tell if somebody’s compliant or surrender very quickly when you take the discharge date off,” he notes.

This extended stay, which lasted nearly a year, gave him the “gift of time.” It allowed him to build a solid foundation for his recovery, going through the ups and downs of early sobriety in a structured, safe environment. The program also provided “excellent clinical care that processed the experience of an immersive 12-step experience.” Unlike other programs where he was just given worksheets, this one spoon-fed him the principles of the 12 Steps from day one. He was held accountable by both staff and his peers, which forced him to confront his past behaviors and develop new, healthier ones.

8. Recovery Is an Experience, Not Just Information

Before his final treatment, Davis went through several programs but left “just as confused about what my problem was than when I went in the door.” He had been given clinical information and worksheets, but no real experience of recovery. He explains, “sober isn’t about information. It’s about an experience.” His final program was different because it allowed him to experience what it felt like to be sober and to live by a new set of principles.

Through the intensive 12-step process, he was able to rebuild his “internal constitution” and realign his moral compass. For the first time, he experienced what it felt like to have peace without the use of drugs. He started to see glimpses of the solution and not just the problem. This experience gave him a powerful motivation to continue. He realized that the promises of recovery were not just “marketing material” but a reality he could achieve. This desire for more of that feeling—more peace, more clarity, more freedom—is what kept him going even when he wanted to give up.

9. Finding Freedom Through Challenging Core Beliefs

Davis spent years with the trauma of his childhood molestation, convinced it was a secret he would take to his grave. In recovery, he was finally able to face it, but not in the way he had expected. He didn’t have to “live through the whole thing” again. Instead, he went through a trauma intensive workshop that challenged his core belief systems. “It challenged a core belief that I had about myself and the world around me,” he explains. He came to accept that the belief he was “faulty” was not a fact, and by dismissing it, he opened the door for new, healthier beliefs to take root.

This process was about taking responsibility for his life, not for the trauma itself. He explains this through the lens of the 12-step inventory, which asks a person to look at their “part” in a situation. As a 10-year-old, he had no part in the molestation itself, but he was responsible for “how I let it dominate my life” from that point on. By accepting this responsibility, he was able to move past the victim mentality and begin to heal. This new perspective gave him a profound sense of clarity and freedom.

10. The Freedom of Knowing You Can Overcome Anything

Today, Davis lives a life of peace and freedom that he never thought possible. When asked what that freedom feels like, he shares a deeply profound realization: “I know that there is nothing in this life that is going to come down the road at me that is going to be more painful or more challenging than what I’ve come through.” He has confronted his deepest fears and traumas and survived the hellish years of his active addiction.

This perspective gives him a sense of unwavering strength and resilience. He knows that no matter what life throws at him—tragedy, loss, or illness—he has the internal tools and the foundation to handle it. This realization is a testament to the power of a long-term, comprehensive recovery process. It’s not just about abstaining from substances; it’s about building a life that is so strong and so fulfilling that you no longer need an escape.

11. Don’t Just Go to Rehab; You Get to Go to Rehab

For those who are just beginning their journey, Davis offers a simple yet transformative piece of advice: look at the content the algorithms are showing you. If you’re seeing a lot of recovery-related material, “the algorithm’s trying to tell you something.” He encourages people to see rehabilitation not as a punishment but as a gift. “You don’t got to, you get to,” he says.

He frames the opportunity to unplug from the world and do deep emotional work as a privilege, not a chore. He encourages people to “take care of your emotional health” and to challenge the stories they tell themselves about why they can’t get better. By shifting this perspective, a person can move from a place of resistance to a place of willingness, making it far more likely that they will find the desperation and surrender needed for long-term recovery.

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The Hope Dealer: 5 Life-Changing Lessons from Fausto Castellanos on Trauma and Recovery

The journey to healing is rarely a straight line. For Fausto Castellanos, a clinical counselor and recovery advocate known as “The Hope Dealer,” it was a long and winding road filled with pain, self-blame, and a desperate search for validation. His story, shared on the Recoverycast podcast, is a powerful testament to the idea that our most difficult experiences don’t have to define our future. Instead, they can become the very foundation of our purpose.

From a young age, Castellanos felt a deep sense of unease and a need to be accepted. He recalled, “I always thought that I was less than everyone, so I would always look at like, you know, any older boy for like, um, validation or or direction.” This feeling, rooted in a childhood environment with a narcissistic father and a codependent mother, led him to constantly seek external validation. He would imitate others, chasing a “performance self-worth” that would momentarily mask his internal struggles. This desperate need for acceptance would ultimately lead him down a path of self-destructive behaviors, a journey he now uses to help others find their way back to a place of hope and healing.

1. The Mask of Performance and the Search for Validation

Growing up, Fausto Castellanos learned to be a “chameleon,” constantly adapting his personality to fit in and be liked. This behavior was a direct result of a traumatic experience at age seven, where he was sexually abused by an older boy. He didn’t process it as abuse at the time, but as a young child, he internalized the subsequent cruelty from his abuser as a sign that he had done something wrong. This trauma, combined with an already anxious disposition, led to a deep-seated belief that something was inherently wrong with him.

In a desperate attempt to fix this perceived brokenness, he began to seek out risky behaviors. “That show Jackass came out… and I was like, that’s what I gotta do to fix this. Oh my gosh. I gotta jump off buildings. Just doing all these dares and stuff like that. And again, just trying to seek that, that, that, that, um, my fix validation.” His actions were a cry for help, a way to prove his worth and distract himself from the gnawing pain inside. This pattern of seeking validation through extreme and self-sabotaging acts would continue for years, culminating in a series of shocking events.

Explore trauma treatment options.

2. A Desperate Attempt to Escape: Faking His Own Death

By ninth grade, the pressure of his internal turmoil became unbearable. Castellanos found a new way to cope: skipping school. He would feign illness, often using a history of epilepsy from a childhood concussion to manipulate his mother into letting him stay home. This temporary escape, however, was not enough. He was still haunted by the fear that everyone at school knew his secret. It was at this point that he came up with a “bright idea to fake my own death.”

Using his skills in videography, he created a video of a car crash he found online, superimposed a childhood picture of himself, and added emotional music from the band Incubus. The plan, however, was a disaster. “People show up to my house to give my mom condolences and they see I’m, I’m the one opening the door.” The failed attempt at faking his death led to even more desperate measures.

In a misguided attempt to get more time off from school, he told his teacher he was “hearing voices to hurt people.” This lie backfired spectacularly, leading to a 5150 hold—a mandatory 72-hour psychiatric detention in San Diego. His stay was extended to seven days after he resisted the diagnosis, and he was forced to “pretend I was schizophrenic” just to get out. The experience, while terrifying, became another twisted form of validation. He felt a strange sense of belonging, a feeling of being seen, even if it was for a fabricated identity. This desire to be seen, no matter the cost, became a driving force in his life.

3. Finding “Comfort” in Alcohol and Drugs

After his release from the psychiatric hospital, Castellanos was granted his wish to do home studies. He was safe, alone, and free from the social pressures of school. But without a structured environment, his pursuit of external validation found a new and dangerous outlet: alcohol and drugs. At 14, he and a friend stole a bottle of whiskey. The first time the alcohol’s buzz kicked in, he had a revelation. “It was the first time in my life I can remember feeling comfortable. Feeling connected, feeling grounded, feeling seen, feeling safe.”

For a young man who had been battling anxiety and suicidal thoughts for years, alcohol was not a poison but a perceived cure. He came to believe that if he hadn’t found alcohol and drugs, he “would’ve killed myself a long time ago.” This belief became the foundation of a life of addiction. He transitioned from alcohol to ecstasy, a drug he had manifested after seeing a YouTube video of people dancing at a rave. He quickly developed a connection to a dealer, a neighbor who would later molest him for six months. This second traumatic experience, made all the more confusing by the disinhibiting effects of methamphetamines, reinforced his belief that his own actions were to blame.

4. The Vicious Cycle of Addiction, Breakups, and Despair

From the ages of 14 to 18, Castellanos’s life was a cycle of avoidance and self-destruction. He became the “party guy,” a role that gave him a false sense of purpose and belonging. “I played that character and I played that character really well.” He was the one who could get alcohol and drugs, the one with the “cool mom” who would let everyone stay over. This performance, however, couldn’t mask his growing addiction. He experienced blackouts, fights, and near-misses with the law. His underlying trauma continued to haunt him, and he continued to seek external validation, especially through romantic relationships.

At 17, he fell in love, convinced that this relationship would “fix” him. But his codependent nature led to a devastating overdose on 17 ecstasy pills after a party. He woke up in the hospital, handcuffed to a bed, his face bloody from a fall. Even in this moment of crisis, his first thought was to manipulate his way out of trouble, blaming the police for his injuries and demanding pain pills. Less than 24 hours after leaving the hospital, he overdosed again.

This pattern of using relationships as a crutch and self-destruction as a coping mechanism continued into his early twenties. He sought refuge in a high-profile bartending job, a role that fed his need for attention and validation. Yet, even as the “it dude,” his addiction spiraled out of control. Another failed relationship at 21 sent him to his rock bottom, a suicide attempt. It was this moment that forced him to confront the truth: his past trauma was still controlling his present, and his addiction was only making things worse.

5. The Path to Recovery and a New Purpose

Fausto Castellanos’s story is a powerful reminder that the desire to heal must come from within. While external sources of validation, like relationships or social status, may offer temporary relief, they cannot solve the underlying issues of trauma and self-worth. His journey highlights the importance of vulnerability in recovery, a theme he emphasizes throughout the podcast. “Vulnerability will save your life to know that there is people out there that are going through what you’re going through, and there is people who are willing to help you. You just gotta let people know what’s going on inside of you, because if you don’t reveal it, then you can’t heal it.”

His story, once a source of shame, has become a tool for advocacy. By sharing his experiences, he gives others permission to be vulnerable and seek help. His work as a clinical counselor and “hope dealer” is a testament to the power of turning pain into purpose. He now uses his past not as a burden but as a beacon, illuminating a path for others struggling with addiction and trauma. The long road of emotional recovery may be difficult, but as Castellanos’s story shows, it is possible to transform a life of self-destruction into a mission of healing and hope.

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Childhood Trauma Test: 10 Questions to Learn More About Your Past

Do you ever feel like something from your past is holding you back emotionally, physically, or in your relationships, but you can’t quite name it? 

This simple, 10-question childhood trauma test is a first step toward understanding how your early life may still be influencing your mental health, behaviors, and health outcomes today. It’s free, completely anonymous, and doesn’t require any sign-up.

Important Note: This test is not a diagnostic tool. It is intended for informational purposes only and should not be used as a substitute for evaluation by a licensed mental health professional or healthcare provider. If you’re concerned about how your past trauma may be impacting your well-being, speak with a qualified professional to explore further assessment and care.

What Is the Childhood Trauma Test?

Childhood should be a time of safety, exploration, and emotional growth. But for many, early years are shaped by pain, fear, or neglect—leaving lasting imprints that extend far beyond childhood. If you’ve ever wondered why certain patterns keep repeating in your relationships, why your stress response feels disproportionate, or why mental health issues seem persistent despite your best efforts, the answer may lie in unaddressed trauma from your earliest years.

Rather than offering a clinical diagnosis, this brief test is a tool to help measure your exposure to adverse childhood experiences, such as:

  • Emotional abuse or emotional neglect
  • Physical abuse or physical neglect
  • Sexual abuse
  • Witnessing domestic violence
  • Growing up with a household member who has a mental illness or substance use problem
  • Experiencing household dysfunction like divorce or incarceration

The Link Between Childhood Trauma and Health Outcomes

This assessment is a reflection of your early risk factors. The higher the score, the greater the increased risk for developing a wide range of mental health, behavioral, and physical health conditions later in life.

Key findings from the ACE study:

  • People with an ACE score of 4 or more are significantly more likely to experience mental illness, substance abuse, heart disease, and even early death.
  • Higher ACE scores correlate with low self-esteem, self-harm, and a toxic stress response that disrupts brain development and the body’s immune and hormonal systems.
  • Individuals with high ACE scores have a greater chance of experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation.

This underscores a powerful truth: Traumatic experiences in early life can shape long-term health outcomes in profound ways.

Breaking Down the ACE Test: What It Measures

Here’s a simplified breakdown of the ACE test’s 10 categories. The ACE test covers similar areas as this childhood trauma test. Each item is a reflection of common traumatic experiences:

1. Abuse

  • Physical abuse
  • Sexual abuse
  • Emotional abuse

2. Neglect

  • Physical neglect
  • Emotional neglect

3. Household Dysfunction

  • Domestic violence
  • Substance abuse by a parent or caregiver
  • Mental illness in the home
  • Parental separation or divorce
  • Incarcerated family member

Each “yes” answer contributes one point to your ACE score. While a score of 0 means no exposure to these categories, any score above 0 still matters, especially if the experience was prolonged or repeated.

Beyond the Score: Signs of Childhood Trauma in Adulthood

Even if you’re not familiar with your exact ACE score, there may be clues in your day-to-day life that point to unresolved trauma. Many adults live for years without realizing their challenges stem from past experiences.

Common long-term signs of childhood trauma:

  • Persistent anxiety, depression, or emotional pain
  • Chronic health problems with no clear medical cause
  • Trouble trusting others or maintaining close relationships
  • High reactivity or emotional numbness
  • Patterns of substance use or self-sabotage
  • Difficulty regulating emotions, especially under stress
  • Extreme guilt, shame, or fear that seems unrelated to current life circumstances

These effects don’t always show up immediately. Some only surface when triggered by a major life event, relationship breakdown, or prolonged stress.

Trauma and the Body: Why Early Stress Stays With Us

Why does trauma from decades ago still feel so fresh?

Because trauma doesn’t just live in the mind, it embeds itself in the body. Repeated exposure to toxic stress during childhood changes the way the nervous system develops. The brain becomes wired for hypervigilance, fear, or withdrawal, even in safe environments.

This dysregulation affects everything from hormone levels to immune function, contributing to heart disease, autoimmune conditions, and gastrointestinal disorders. It also influences the way we relate to others and how we respond to everyday challenges.

In short, the stress response system remembers what the mind tries to forget.

Healing Is Possible: Trauma-Informed Interventions and Support

Understanding your ACE score is only the beginning. True healing begins with compassion—for yourself and your journey.

If you or a loved one is struggling with the effects of trauma, there are evidence-based interventions that can help rewire the brain and promote healing.

Proven approaches include:

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Helps reframe unhelpful thought patterns and build healthy coping skills.
  • Trauma-informed care: Delivered by clinicians trained to recognize and respond to traumatic events with sensitivity.
  • Support groups or peer-led programs that normalize trauma recovery.
  • Healthcare interventions that address the mind-body connection, including somatic therapies and mindfulness.

You don’t need to go through this alone. Working with a licensed mental health professional—especially one trained in trauma—can help you process difficult memories and create new, healthier patterns.

What the Childhood Trauma Test Can (and Can’t) Do

This assessment is a valuable tool, but it’s not comprehensive. It doesn’t account for:

  • Racial trauma, bullying, or natural disasters
  • Protective factors, such as a caring teacher or mentor
  • How trauma was experienced or how long it lasted
  • Your current resilience, support system, or access to interventions

So, while this test offers important insights, it’s just one part of a larger picture. If you’re considering taking the test, do so with care and preferably with the support of a professional who can guide you through the results.

Next Steps

It’s not always easy to look back at what you’ve endured—but acknowledging your history is often the first, most courageous step toward reclaiming your life. If your score is high, or if the past still feels painfully present, know this: there is nothing wrong with you. You responded the best way you could with the tools you had.

And now, you have new tools—and new choices.

You are not alone. Help is available. Healing is possible.

Resources and Next Steps 

External Resources

FAQs

Q: What is the childhood trauma test meant to do?

A: This test is designed to help you identify whether your early life experiences may be affecting your current mental, emotional, or physical well-being. It screens for common forms of trauma, such as abuse, neglect, or dysfunction in the household. While it’s not diagnostic, it can be a valuable first step toward greater self-awareness and healing.

Q: Is this test clinically validated or used by doctors?

A: No, this is not a clinically validated or official diagnostic tool. It’s a simplified screening resource inspired by established trauma research and designed for personal insight only. If you’re concerned about your results or symptoms, speaking with a licensed mental health professional is the best next step.

Q: Can I still have trauma even if my score is low?

A: Yes. Trauma is highly personal, and the impact of a specific experience can vary widely. You may have gone through painful events that aren’t captured in this test—such as bullying, community violence, racism, or other forms of stress—and those experiences can still influence your mental and physical health.

Q: How do I know if my results are serious enough to seek help?

A: If your answers suggest a history of distressing or prolonged experiences—especially those involving abuse, neglect, or unsafe environments—it’s worth reaching out for support. Professional therapy, trauma-informed care, and medical consultation can help you understand what you’ve been through and how to move forward.

Q: I feel overwhelmed after taking the test. What should I do?

A: First, pause and take care of yourself. Trauma-related reflections can stir up deep emotions. Consider talking to a trusted friend, reaching out to a mental health professional, or calling a crisis line if you’re in distress. You’re not alone, and help is available.

Q: Is this test appropriate for children or teens?

A: This version of the test is intended for adults reflecting on their own childhood. If you are concerned about a child or adolescent, consult a mental health professional who specializes in pediatric or adolescent care. There are age-appropriate assessments and supports that can be tailored to their needs.

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Navigating Addiction: 6 Ways Elizabeth Pearson Found Hope and Healing in Recovery

Navigating the path to recovery can often feel like an isolating journey, fraught with personal battles and internal struggles. Yet, as Elizabeth Pearson, a content creator, marathon runner, and the powerhouse behind @eatlizabeth, profoundly shares, “You are not unique… You’re not alone. The experiences that you’re having, the things you’re grappling with. So many of us go through those same things.” Her story, as explored in a candid interview on Recoverycast with hosts Brittani Baynard and Tom Farley, illuminates the transformative power of embracing vulnerability, finding community, and understanding the deeper roots of addiction and mental health challenges.

1. The Mask of Perfection: High-Functioning Addiction

Elizabeth’s early life was marked by a relentless pursuit of perfection. As a “super type A, compulsive rule follower” involved in countless extracurriculars and academically driven, the idea of substance use was entirely off her radar, primarily driven by a fear of jeopardizing her future and disappointing her parents. However, college presented an opportunity for reinvention, and with it, the introduction of alcohol.

“When I drank alcohol for the first time, it was like, okay, all of a sudden I get to turn off the noise in my brain,” Elizabeth recounted. This initial experience offered a deceptive sense of ease and confidence, leading her to believe that drinking made her “funnier and smarter and wittier and more confident.” This feeling became a relentless chase, particularly within a college environment where binge drinking was normalized.

Her ability to maintain academic excellence and a robust social life while drinking masked the developing problem. Her grades remained high, her social circles thrived, and externally, there were no red flags for her family or friends. This highlights a crucial, often overlooked aspect of addiction: it doesn’t always manifest as immediate, visible collapse. High-functioning addiction can be particularly insidious because the individual maintains a semblance of normalcy, delaying the recognition of a problem for themselves and those around them. This can lead to significant confusion, as Elizabeth notes, “You know how nothing, there is no negative to this except this feeling.” The absence of immediate negative consequences makes it incredibly challenging to recognize that a problem exists.

Explore alcohol addiction treatment options.

2. Unpacking the Roots of Insecurity and Self-Punishment

Beneath the surface of Elizabeth’s high-achieving exterior lay a profound sense of insecurity and a pervasive feeling that “something inherently being wrong with me, but not necessarily being able to name what that thing is.” This deep-seated discomfort fueled a pattern of self-punishment, which first manifested as an eating disorder in middle and high school. This provided a twisted sense of control and a means to “keep me in line,” driven by a belief that “there’s something inside of me that feels broken or bad and like I need to be punished.”

This underlying theme continued into her relationships, as she gravitated towards verbally and physically abusive partners. Her rationale was chillingly clear: she believed she couldn’t trust herself to stay “in line” and needed external forces to do it for her. This demonstrates how unresolved emotional pain and self-perception can drive destructive patterns across different areas of life.

Elizabeth also grappled with the impact of a sexual assault during her senior year of high school. Growing up in a Christian household, she initially interpreted this traumatic event as “divine punishment for making a mistake.” Drinking became a way to “silence so much of that noise and not actually have to confront things that had happened.” While acknowledging the traumatic elements of her past, Elizabeth offers a powerful insight: “I wanted to hold onto that trauma really, really tightly and closely because I felt like it gave me reasons to drink.” This speaks to the complex interplay between trauma, narrative, and the justification of self-destructive behaviors.

3. The Catalyst for Change: When Rock Bottom Isn’t What You Expect

Despite maintaining external success, Elizabeth’s internal world was crumbling. Her drinking escalated, particularly during the isolation of the COVID-19 pandemic, when she found herself in an unsafe relationship. “I started drinking alone all the time,” she admitted, driven by “layer upon layer of shame and feeling like I had failed.” The situation became dire when her partner began to abuse her dog, Sawyer. “My self-esteem was so low at that point that I didn’t really care what happened to me,” Elizabeth revealed, but the abuse of Sawyer was the line she couldn’t cross. “That was really what got me out,” she said, crediting her dog with saving her life.

Even after escaping that abusive relationship, sobriety wasn’t immediate. She continued to drink for three more years, using the trauma as another “reason for me to drink.” She was stuck on a “hamster wheel,” trying everything to cope, all while maintaining a good job and a boyfriend. However, the emotional toll was immense. “I was so deeply depressed. I had a plan for how I wanted to end my life,” she shared.

The turning point came one Wednesday morning. “Nothing out of the ordinary had happened the night before, but I was just hung over again.” In that moment, Elizabeth experienced what she describes as a “divine intervention,” a stark realization: “You have two choices right now. You are either gonna stop drinking or you’re going to die.” This led to a period of being “dry,” abstaining from alcohol but without a structured recovery program. While physically feeling better, her mind was still consumed by thoughts of drinking. This illustrates the critical distinction between simply not drinking and actively engaging in the work of recovery.

4. Finding Community and the Power of Shared Experience

Unsure of where to turn, Elizabeth sought out an AA meeting, initially with the cynical expectation of finding people “worse off” than herself to justify her own continued drinking. “I walked into my first meeting and I thought, oh, this is gonna be great because I’m gonna go in and I’m gonna see how much worse off everybody else is, and then I’m gonna know that I don’t really belong here and I can go back to drinking,” she confessed. What she found instead was a profound sense of recognition and belonging. “I walk into that room and it is like a bunch of people exactly like me.”

This immediate connection, reinforced by a “ticket meeting” where she was called to speak, was a pivotal moment. “It was the scariest, but one most wonderful moment of my life is when I said like, hi, I’m Elizabeth and I’m an alcoholic.” This declaration, made in a room of strangers who understood her, lifted a decade-long weight of confusion and self-blame. “Finally it was just this weight lifted off my chest of being like, I have been trying to figure out for like a decade what is wrong with me. And I’m now sitting in a room full of people who just understand the way that my brain is wired. And I have a solution now.”

The response from her then-boyfriend was less supportive, as he dismissed her declaration with “Elizabeth, you’re being dramatic. You’re not an alcoholic. I know alcoholics. You’re not one of them.” Elizabeth astutely observed that “people take your choices around drinking very personally,” often seeing it as an “indictment on their choices.” Despite this, her decision to return to the meeting the next day was her “burning bush moment,” a clear commitment to herself over external validation.

Elizabeth strongly recommends women-only meetings, emphasizing that “the connection and the honesty I found in rooms of, of women has been like beyond anything that I’d experienced before.” This specialized support can foster a deeper sense of trust and shared understanding among individuals facing similar challenges.

5. Building a New Life: The 12 Steps and Rigorous Honesty

The gift of desperation, as Elizabeth calls it, was her greatest asset in recovery. She was “so desperate to feel differently and to feel well that I was willing to do anything that anybody told me to live a different life.” This willingness is paramount in embracing the 12-Step program, which Elizabeth credits with changing her life.

The 12 Steps provided not only a path to sobriety but also a framework for rebuilding relationships, particularly with women. She recognized that active addiction fosters selfishness, making genuine connections difficult. In recovery, she found an opportunity to learn “how I think about being in relationships with other people and how I can show up for people.”

A core component of Elizabeth’s transformation has been the embrace of “rigorous honesty.” Previously, her dishonesty was largely for “deception for image maintenance’s sake,” constructing a facade to prevent anyone from discovering her problem and potentially taking alcohol away. This involved blaming others for her struggles, a common defense mechanism in addiction. However, through the 12 Steps, she learned a profound lesson: “Your resentments aren’t necessarily the ways that people have wronged you, but it’s the ways that you give away your power.” This realization shifted her perspective from victimhood to accountability, allowing her to let go of anger and move forward.

The difference between being “dry” and “sober” became vividly clear. Dryness was merely the absence of alcohol, while sobriety, achieved through the 12 Steps and community, brought a profound sense of connection and purpose. “I went from feeling like I had nobody in my corner to… just having a room of strangers so ready to love me.” This unconditional acceptance, regardless of her past actions, allowed her to shed the shame and the belief that a seat in AA needed to be “earned” through a dramatic rock bottom.

6. Embracing Gratitude and a “Second Life”

Gratitude has become a cornerstone of Elizabeth’s daily practice, a tool for combating resentment, jealousy, and comparison. She reflects on her “two lives” – her “drunk life and our sober life,” seeing it as a “miracle” and a unique opportunity to choose again. This perspective fosters appreciation for the seemingly ordinary aspects of her current life that were unimaginable during her addiction.

The journey through recovery, particularly the step work, allowed her to understand the deeper layers of her struggles. She came to realize that alcohol was not her problem, but rather her “only solution.” This reframe is crucial for those grappling with addiction, suggesting that the substance itself is a symptom of underlying issues rather than the sole cause. For individuals questioning their relationship with alcohol, asking “Do you feel that like alcohol is your solution for life?” can be a powerful diagnostic question.

Elizabeth’s story underscores that true recovery is a holistic process that addresses not just substance use but also the mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being of an individual. It’s about building self-esteem through “esteemable things,” taking “the next right action,” and cultivating an unwavering commitment to honesty and self-awareness. Her journey from the depths of depression and self-hatred to a life of sobriety, community, and marathon running is a testament to the fact that transformation is indeed possible, even if it’s “often pretty messy.”

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Navigating Trauma: Jonas’s 7 Ways Treatment Can Transform Your Life

Life can throw unexpected curveballs, leaving us feeling lost, overwhelmed, and disconnected. For many, navigating the aftermath of trauma can feel like an insurmountable challenge, impacting not only their own well-being but also the lives of those around them. Yet, as one individual’s journey illustrates, seeking help can provide a pathway to profound transformation, even when circumstances remain largely the same.

1. Recognizing the Need for Help: The Unseen Struggle

Often, the individuals most in need of support are the last to recognize the depth of their struggle. This was certainly the case for Jonas, who found himself in a chaotic and dark period of his life, grappling with an abusive relationship and the heartbreaking loss of contact with his children. Despite his internal turmoil, it was his sister who ultimately identified the severity of his situation and recommended trauma treatment at InHarmoni Rehab. As Jonas recounts, “I didn’t really understand in what kind of position I was in. Before she told me I needed to go, of course I realized that I was using sleeping pills in order to sleep, and things were going not in the right direction. I could see the signs, but I could not understand it myself.”

This sentiment underscores a critical aspect of mental health: self-awareness can be a significant barrier when deeply entrenched in emotional pain. External perspectives from loved ones can be invaluable in these moments, offering a lifeline when an individual is unable to objectively assess their own needs. The signs—such as relying on substances like sleeping pills to cope—were present, yet the emotional toll prevented Jonas from fully grasping the extent of his struggles. This often happens because trauma can impair our ability to regulate emotions and make sound judgments, leading to a distorted view of reality and a reluctance to seek help.

2. Overcoming Skepticism: A Leap of Faith Towards Healing

The decision to enter treatment is rarely an easy one, often accompanied by a healthy dose of skepticism and apprehension. Jonas admits, “My expectations going into treatment was quite on the skeptical side. I didn’t think I could do much about changing my behavior and my mood because of the state and my life situation. So I would say that I was quite skeptical.” This initial doubt is a common hurdle for many seeking help for trauma. The weight of past experiences and the belief that one’s situation is unchangeable can create a powerful barrier to embracing the possibility of recovery.

However, moving past this skepticism is often the first and most crucial step towards healing. It requires a willingness to suspend disbelief and take a leap of faith, even when the path ahead seems uncertain. This initial acceptance, even if hesitant, opens the door to new perspectives and strategies for coping. For those contemplating treatment, it’s important to acknowledge these fears and recognize that they are a normal part of the process. Trusting in the therapeutic process, even when doubts linger, can unlock profound personal growth.

Explore trauma treatment options.

3. The Ripple Effect of Healing: A New Perspective on Connection

One of the most profound realizations Jonas experienced in rehab was the interconnectedness of his well-being with those around him. He discovered that his emotional state and behaviors had a significant impact on his friends, family, and ultimately, his children, even in their absence. “Well, I would say that rehab gave me a brand new perspective on life. I realized that it’s not only me that matters because the way I feel and behave affects everybody around me. And if I don’t feel well, My friends, my family, and everybody will be affected.”

This shift in perspective is a cornerstone of trauma recovery. It moves beyond individual suffering to encompass the broader relational context. When individuals heal from trauma, the positive effects radiate outwards, improving the quality of their relationships and creating a more positive environment for everyone involved. This understanding also empowered Jonas to maintain his strength for his children, recognizing that even without direct contact, his improved well-being could indirectly impact them. This concept aligns with attachment theory, which posits that our emotional well-being and relational patterns are deeply intertwined. A research article in Psychological Science in the Public Interest highlights the lasting impact of early attachment experiences on adult relationships and mental health, underscoring the importance of healing individual trauma for the benefit of broader relational systems.

4. Embracing Practical Skills: Tools for Lasting Change

Beyond theoretical insights, trauma treatment provides invaluable practical skills that empower individuals to navigate daily challenges and foster lasting change. For Jonas, two key practices stood out: morning meditation and a conscious effort to change his communication patterns. He notes, “And of course there was a lot of practical skills that I’m using every morning, especially the meditation and especially the way I communicate. I’m trying to change my communication patterns because I realized that that was one of the reasons why I ended up in the situation I was in.”

Meditation offers a powerful tool for mindfulness, allowing individuals to observe their thoughts and feelings without judgment and cultivate a sense of calm amidst chaos. It can help regulate the nervous system, which is often dysregulated in individuals with trauma.

Communication skills are equally crucial, especially for those whose past trauma may have impacted their ability to express themselves effectively or set healthy boundaries. Learning to communicate assertively, actively listen, and understand non-verbal cues can transform relationships and prevent recurring patterns of conflict. These skills are often taught in various forms of therapy, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), which are frequently used in trauma treatment.

5. Redefining “Better”: Thriving Amidst Unchanged Circumstances

Perhaps one of the most remarkable aspects of Jonas’s journey is his ability to thrive even when his external circumstances remained largely the same. He clarifies, “actually I would say that my life today is not much different. I’m not in a completely different situation. The situation is actually the same, although the way I feel in this situation is what has have changed. I can now handle the situation. I can now understand what I’m feeling, and I also understand that things will be as good as you make them.”

This powerful realization highlights that healing isn’t always about dramatically altering external circumstances, but rather about transforming one’s internal landscape. It’s about developing resilience, emotional regulation, and a proactive mindset to navigate life’s challenges. Before treatment, Jonas was “feeling worse and worse,” but now, even with similar external pressures, he’s “feeling better and better.” This shift in perspective and internal strength is a testament to the profound impact of trauma treatment. It demonstrates that true well-being stems from our ability to adapt, cope, and find inner peace regardless of external variables. This internal locus of control is a key factor in long-term recovery and resilience, as detailed by research on psychological well-being.

6. The Investment in Yourself: An Insurance for the Future

For those hesitating to seek treatment due to concerns about cost or efficacy, Jonas offers a compelling perspective: it’s an investment, an insurance for the future. He urges individuals to consider the broader implications of their well-being, emphasizing that the positive impact extends beyond themselves. “I would say that this is a really, really small investment compared to what it’s gonna cost you if you don’t make the investment. So I would see it as a, as an insurance. It’s an insurance for the future. You can change everything for the better. By taking this step, I wish you the best of luck.”

This powerful analogy underscores the long-term benefits of addressing trauma. The emotional, physical, and relational costs of untreated trauma can be immense, leading to chronic stress, strained relationships, and diminished quality of life. Investing in treatment is not just about alleviating immediate suffering; it’s about building a foundation for a healthier, more fulfilling future. It’s an investment in personal growth, improved relationships, and overall well-being. Thinking about the cost-benefit analysis of treatment can be a powerful motivator for many.

How to pay for treatment.

7. Taking the First Step: Embracing the Unknown

The journey to healing can feel daunting, filled with questions and uncertainties about the process, the environment, and the people involved. Jonas acknowledges these common fears: “maybe you are a little bit in the doubt about going, maybe you’re a little bit scared about, you know, how it’s gonna be like, maybe you’re thinking about what kind of people are you gonna meet? How is the premises gonna be? How is the food gonna be? How is, how is this gonna change me anyway? How can, how can a treatment change anything?”

His advice is simple yet profound: “I would say that the only thing you can do to find out is to take the step because you know where you’re at, you know what problems you have, and if you want to try to solve them, try to find a solution. I would say that this is a really good first step.”

This sentiment encapsulates the essence of taking control of one’s narrative. While uncertainties may linger, the potential for positive change far outweighs the fear of the unknown. Recognizing one’s current struggles and actively seeking solutions is the courageous first stride towards a brighter future. Embarking on a healing journey requires courage, self-compassion, and a willingness to embrace the transformative power of support.

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How to Overcome C-PTSD: Max’s Insights to Find Healing and Hope

Mental health challenges affect countless individuals, but sharing our stories can inspire hope and provide a path to healing. In a compelling episode of the “Giving Voice to Mental Health Podcast,” Max bravely shares her journey of living with and recovering from complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD). Her story is a testament to the human spirit’s resilience and the transformative power of therapy, self-reflection, and healthy relationships.

Understanding Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD)

While many are familiar with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), C-PTSD presents a unique set of challenges that stem from prolonged and repeated exposure to trauma, often during childhood. Max describes C-PTSD as “your regular PTSD and then you add a little bit of extra seasonings in.” These “seasonings” include deeply ingrained issues like a distorted sense of self, an altered perception of the world and others, and a pervasive sense of dread. Unlike single-incident trauma, the prolonged nature of C-PTSD means that the traumatic experiences often become a child’s “reality,” making it incredibly difficult to recognize the abnormality of their situation.

Max highlights several common symptoms of C-PTSD, including:

  • Negative self-perception: A deep-seated belief of being unlovable or unworthy.
  • Relationship difficulties: Struggling to form healthy connections and trust others.
  • Hypervigilance: A constant state of alertness and readiness for danger.
  • Dissociation: Feeling disconnected from one’s thoughts, feelings, or body.
  • Cognitive disorders: Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions.
  • Loss of meaning and purpose: A pervasive sense of emptiness or hopelessness.

“It’s very deep rooted, the complex trauma,” Max emphasizes, underscoring how these experiences shape an individual’s entire being and worldview. The feeling of helplessness experienced during the trauma often persists, even long after the individual is no longer in the traumatic environment.

The Profound Impact of Childhood Trauma and Unsafe Environments

Max’s narrative powerfully illustrates how childhood trauma, particularly within the home, can shatter a child’s sense of safety and self-worth. She bravely reveals the physical and emotional abuse inflicted by her older brother, and the heartbreaking lack of protection from her mother and stepfather. Her mother’s repeated refusal to intervene, stating, “I would never abandon my babies,” while simultaneously abandoning Max by not protecting her, created a deeply confusing and damaging dynamic.

The insidious nature of this trauma was further exacerbated by a lack of accountability from her family. Max recounts her desperate pleas to be heard, only to be met with superficial mending and a continuation of the cycle of abuse. This experience led to a profound feeling of being unheard and unsafe within her own home. As she painfully recounts, “I had to scream to be heard, but even if I was heard, things didn’t really change.”

The psychological toll of living in a constant state of fear and vulnerability, where the “bully” is “in your house,” is immense. Max describes this period as “mind messing with,” where every return home brought her back to an unsafe and unprotected space. The lack of intervention normalized the abuse, leading to a cognitive dissonance where she believed, “They’re telling me that they love me, even if they’re treating me this way. So this is how people who love you treat you.” This warped perception of love and relationships is a direct consequence of prolonged childhood trauma and can have lasting effects on an individual’s ability to form healthy attachments later in life.

Explore trauma treatment options.

The Weight of Unresolved Trauma: Carrying the Past Forward

Even decades later, the echoes of Max’s childhood trauma continued to resonate within her. She identifies a persistent “feeling of needing to perform” as a direct carryover from her upbringing, where “the only way that I was acceptable in my home was when I performed and when I met a certain standard, of honestly, perfection.” This ingrained need for perfection can lead to intense self-criticism and a constant feeling of inadequacy, even when achieving significant accomplishments.

At the core of these lingering effects is the pervasive belief, “I’m unlovable.” This deeply painful sentiment underscores the profound impact of her early experiences on her self-worth. “There’s nothing more that I’ve wanted in my life than to feel loved and understood because I just didn’t for a long time,” Max shares, highlighting the yearning for the very emotional needs that were denied to her as a child. This feeling of being unlovable, coupled with the expectation to manage others’ emotions, created an internal conflict.

The inability of her parents to acknowledge their role in her trauma further compounded Max’s pain. Her stepfather’s inability to grasp the depth of her fear, even after blunt explanations in her twenties, (“What do you mean you didn’t know I felt safe?”), exemplifies the gaslighting and emotional invalidation that was a hallmark of her upbringing. This lack of empathy and accountability from those who should have protected her left deep wounds.

The Path to Healing: Embracing Therapy and DBT

Max’s journey to recovery began over a decade ago with traditional talk therapy, but she quickly realized its limitations. “It kind of just felt like a bandaid where it’s like, okay, like I was able to process this thing. But I never really addressed like the core issues.” This realization led her to seek out more specialized and effective treatments, eventually connecting with her current therapist, Lisa.

Lisa introduced Max to a Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Prolonged Exposure Program, a multi-phase approach that proved to be “life-changing.” The first phase involved group therapy, where Max learned crucial DBT skills:

  • Interpersonal effectiveness: Strategies for navigating relationships and communicating needs effectively.
  • Distress tolerance: Techniques for coping with difficult emotions and challenging situations without resorting to destructive behaviors.
  • Emotional regulation: Skills for understanding, managing, and responding to emotions in a healthy way.

These skills empowered Max to “fight back a lot of the thoughts” that had long controlled her. While the thoughts still exist, she now possesses the tools to challenge them and prevent them from overwhelming her. This shift from passive acceptance to active engagement with her internal landscape was a pivotal moment in her recovery.

Confronting the “Shadow Realm”: Prolonged Exposure Therapy

Following the group therapy phase, Max entered what she aptly calls the “shadow realm” – the prolonged exposure component of her treatment. This intensive phase involved reliving traumatic memories and engaging in “in vivos,” which are real-life exposures designed to challenge avoidance behaviors and desensitize her to triggers. This process, while challenging, was crucial for directly addressing the deeply rooted trauma responses.

A key aspect of this phase was learning to communicate her needs effectively and setting healthy boundaries. “Communicating that I was really bothered by something and I need to see actual change versus just being like, okay, well I talked about it. I hope that it gets better,” was a significant step forward. This marked a departure from the cycle of superficial mending and enabled her to demand genuine accountability in her relationships.

The successful completion of prolonged exposure therapy led to a monumental achievement for Max: her C-PTSD went into remission. This remarkable progress highlights the effectiveness of evidence-based therapies in addressing complex trauma.

Living with Scars, Not Wounds: The Ongoing Journey of Healing

Max describes her post-remission phase as “the next phase of the DBT program where it’s mostly using what we call like the free skill.” This involves incorporating “random acts of exposure” and “embracing our emotions,” ultimately striving to live a life where struggles may still arise, but they no longer control her.

Her powerful metaphor of a “haunted house” illustrates her previous state of being, controlled by the “ghosts” of her past. Healing, she realized, wasn’t about exorcising these ghosts entirely, but rather about acquiring the “tools to fight back the ghosts.” With her “Ghostbusters like plasma beam” and “crucifix holy water,” Max now possesses the agency to navigate her internal landscape and manage her triggers effectively. The scars of her past remain, but they are no longer open wounds that dictate her life. This ongoing process of managing symptoms and embracing emotional experiences is a cornerstone of long-term recovery.

The Power of Being Seen and Heard: Validation and Connection

For someone who was gaslit and silenced for so long, the act of being seen and heard has been profoundly healing for Max. “It’s healing to talk about it because I was gaslit so much into thinking like, well, you are the problem. Well, if you didn’t push his buttons, if you didn’t do this, or if you were better than you wouldn’t have these things happening to you.” The validation she receives from others who acknowledge the injustice of her past experiences (“that is not okay. That was wild”) is a powerful antidote to years of self-blame.

Surrounding herself with supportive and understanding individuals has been critical. Her “platonic soulmate” in college taught her about unconditional love, a concept previously alien to her. This experience, coupled with her current healthy relationships, has allowed her to practice vulnerability and express her needs without fear. She shares a seemingly “silly” yet deeply impactful example of hiding phone games from her boyfriend due to past ridicule. The ability to be vulnerable and have her interests accepted, even something as small as a phone game, signifies a profound shift in her sense of safety and self-acceptance.

Unlearning and Reclaiming Self: Embracing Authenticity

Max’s outward presentation—her chosen attire, hair, and name—is a powerful reflection of her inner healing and the process of “unlearning” the societal and familial expectations placed upon her. “Me looking this cool, my 12-year-old self would be like bouncing off the walls,” she joyfully exclaims. This reclaiming of her authentic self, a self that was suppressed and judged in her youth, is a source of immense pride and healing.

While acknowledging that “masking” is sometimes necessary to navigate the world, Max emphasizes that her newfound confidence and hope empower her to be herself more fully. This journey of self-discovery and acceptance is an ongoing process, but one that brings her profound joy and a sense of liberation. The ability to present as her true self is a direct result of the inner work she has undertaken to heal from trauma and shed the burden of others’ judgments.

Finding Hope and Joy: A Message to Those Still Struggling

Max’s message to those closer to where she was than where she is now is one of unwavering hope. She acknowledges the immense difficulty of introspection and connecting the dots between past experiences and present struggles. However, she firmly believes that “it sucks way more to stay there.” The pain of remaining stagnant far outweighs the discomfort of confronting and working through trauma.

Her personal experience of wanting to give up, but realizing that her desire wasn’t to quit, but to alleviate pain, is a profound insight. While the pain may not entirely disappear, it becomes manageable and less controlling. What once took months to overcome now takes weeks, demonstrating the tangible progress possible through consistent effort and support.

Max’s decision to go no contact with her parents, though difficult, brought her an unprecedented sense of peace. “That’s the first time I’ve ever heard you say that you’re at peace with anything related to your family,” her therapist observed. This underscores the power of setting healthy boundaries, even when it involves significant personal sacrifice. Making “hard choices, doing hard things” may feel agonizing in the moment, but the ultimate reward is a life where “you feel a lot better and you can navigate it a lot better even if you stumble, even if there’s some lows, there is a higher, better place.”

Max’s story is a powerful reminder that while trauma leaves scars, these scars can serve as testaments to resilience and a healed spirit. Her journey from feeling like a “haunted house” to becoming a “Ghostbuster” of her own mind offers invaluable lessons and inspiration for anyone navigating the complexities of C-PTSD and seeking a path toward a life of hope, joy, and authenticity.

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The Path to Peace: Asia’s 5+ Steps to Embracing Your Mental Health Recovery Journey

Life can be chaotic. We may find ourselves entangled in a web of emotional dysregulation, strained relationships, and internal battles. For many, this tumultuous existence feels like an inescapable cycle, leaving them questioning if genuine happiness is even possible.

However, as Asia, a woman in recovery from mental health challenges, depression, anxiety, food addiction, and domestic violence PTSD, powerfully articulates, “My life before I started my recovery journey was extremely chaotic. I had problems with just about every family member of mine. I had problems in my relationship. I was emotionally dysregulated. Life was not fun, and I had realized that something had to give and something had to change. And I guess that something had to be me.” Her journey from chaos to clarity offers a beacon of hope, demonstrating that a commitment to self-discovery and intentional action can pave the way for a more peaceful and purposeful life.

1. The Power of Educating Yourself: Illuminating Your Inner Landscape

The initial spark for change often ignites with a moment of stark realization. For Asia, this moment arrived when her personal struggles began to impact her professional life. “When I realized like I’m losing control, I might lose my job based on my lack of being able to deal with the things that I have going on in a healthy way,” she recalls. This turning point propelled her toward self-education, a foundational step that laid the groundwork for her entire recovery. She discovered Emotional Chaos and Clarity by Phillip Moffitt, a book that profoundly resonated with her experiences. “It was nothing but emotional chaos and I wanted clarity,” she explains. This act of seeking knowledge allowed her to identify and understand the intricate patterns of her emotional life, providing a roadmap for change.

Self-education in recovery goes beyond simply reading a single book. It involves actively seeking out information, resources, and perspectives that shed light on your specific challenges. This could include:

  • Reading books and articles: Explore topics related to your mental health conditions, trauma, addiction, and emotional regulation. Look for reputable sources, including academic texts, self-help guides by qualified professionals, and memoirs of individuals who have successfully navigated similar journeys.
  • Listening to podcasts and webinars: Engage with content that offers expert insights, personal stories, and practical strategies for managing your symptoms and fostering well-being.
  • Attending workshops and seminars: Participate in educational programs that provide structured learning environments and opportunities to connect with others who share similar experiences.
  • Journaling and self-reflection: Regularly documenting your thoughts, feelings, and experiences can help you identify triggers, patterns, and areas for growth. This introspective practice complements external learning by fostering a deeper understanding of your internal landscape.

By investing in self-education, you equip yourself with the knowledge and vocabulary to articulate your experiences, challenge unhelpful thought patterns, and develop a more informed approach to your recovery. It empowers you to become an active participant in your healing process, rather than a passive recipient of circumstances.

2. Navigating the Therapeutic Journey: Persistence Pays Off

While self-education provides a crucial foundation, professional guidance often proves indispensable on the path to recovery. However, as Asia’s experience highlights, finding the right therapeutic fit can be a challenging, multi-step process. “I sought out therapy and the first time felt good, but I only went once. And then years later, more things were happening to me and I found another one virtually, and I went for a while, but I didn’t really feel the most comfortable with that person. And I think that’s why people give up on recovery… My third time didn’t even work out because I felt connected, but I didn’t feel like I was getting questioned enough to get to the root of what would help me change my mind about my issues.” This candid admission underscores a common hurdle in recovery: the temptation to abandon the process when initial attempts don’t yield immediate results.

Asia’s persistence ultimately led her to a fourth therapist who proved to be a transformative force. “Now I’m on my fourth therapist and she has been one of the best things ever on my journey of mental recovery, of defeat and depression, anxiety, food addiction and PTSD from domestic violence. She connects with me. She understands me. She digs deeper. She asks me questions that forces me to really connect with how I’m feeling and figure out, you know, how to stand on my boundaries, how to be a stronger person, how to be more resilient.” This powerful endorsement emphasizes the importance of a therapist who not only provides a safe space for expression but also actively challenges and guides you toward deeper understanding and actionable change.

When seeking therapy, consider the following:

  • Be patient and persistent: It’s rare to find the perfect therapist on the first try. Don’t be discouraged if you need to try a few different professionals before finding someone who aligns with your needs and goals.
  • Communicate your needs: Be open and honest with potential therapists about what you’re looking for, your concerns, and your preferred therapeutic approach.
  • Prioritize connection and trust: A strong therapeutic alliance built on trust and mutual respect is crucial for effective treatment.
  • Look for a therapist who challenges you: While support is important, a good therapist will also gently push you to confront uncomfortable truths, explore underlying issues, and develop new coping mechanisms. They should ask insightful questions that encourage self-reflection and deeper understanding.
  • Consider different modalities: Various therapeutic approaches exist, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) for trauma, and psychodynamic therapy. Researching these options and discussing them with potential therapists can help you find a suitable fit.

The commitment to finding the right therapeutic support, even when the path is winding, is an investment in your long-term well-being and a testament to your dedication to recovery.

3. Recovery is a Marathon, Not a Sprint: Embracing the Ongoing Journey

A fundamental truth of recovery, as Asia eloquently states, is that “recovery is a marathon and not a sprint. Recovery is an ongoing thing. There is no finish line to recovery because we’ve been through absolutely so much in life is so much to recover from that. It’s an everyday ongoing process of just healing those wounds.” This perspective shifts the focus from a finite destination to a continuous process of growth, healing, and self-discovery.

Embracing recovery as an ongoing journey means understanding that:

  • Setbacks are a normal part of the process: There will be days when you feel overwhelmed, experience old patterns resurfacing, or face new challenges. These are not failures but opportunities for further learning and refinement of your coping strategies.
  • Self-compassion is paramount: Be kind to yourself during difficult moments. Acknowledge your efforts and progress, even when things feel challenging.
  • Consistency is key: Regular engagement with your recovery practices, whether it’s attending therapy, practicing mindfulness, or utilizing coping skills, builds resilience over time. Asia’s commitment to weekly therapy sessions, even when she initially felt she didn’t need them, highlights the importance of consistent effort. “I know I need her every week because recovery is ongoing. I think I can handle things that sometimes I’m more overwhelming than I thought.”
  • Growth is layered: Asia beautifully describes recovery as peeling back the layers of an onion: “I’m proud and excited to be able to continue to pull back layers of myself, which I call an onion, because maybe sometimes it stinks, but you know, we still use it to spice up that food. It makes you who you are, it makes the dish what it is, and we need it, and we need to keep pulling back more and more to discover what is it gonna take for us to live our most healthy lives?” This metaphor encapsulates the idea that healing is not linear; it involves continually uncovering and addressing deeper wounds and unconscious patterns.
  • Adaptability is essential: As you progress, your needs and goals may evolve. Be open to adjusting your recovery strategies and seeking new forms of support as required.

Understanding recovery as a lifelong commitment liberates you from the pressure of perfection and allows you to appreciate the continuous unfolding of your personal growth.

4. Life Transformed: The Fruits of Intentional Recovery

The rewards of embarking on a dedicated recovery journey are profound and far-reaching. Asia’s transformation is a testament to this, as she describes a life now characterized by greater peace and purpose. “My life now compared to before I started my recovery journey is a lot more peaceful. I believe that I can handle difficulty in a way that will not destroy me.” While acknowledging that life isn’t perfect and challenges still arise, she emphasizes a newfound capacity to navigate adversity without being consumed by it.

The benefits of intentional recovery often manifest in several key areas:

  • Enhanced emotional regulation: Learning to identify, understand, and manage your emotions in healthy ways reduces emotional dysregulation and reactivity.
  • Improved relationships: As you heal internally, your relationships with others often become more positive, authentic, and fulfilling. You develop stronger boundaries and communication skills.
  • Increased self-awareness and understanding: Delving into your past and present experiences helps you understand “what happened to me and how it affected me.” This self-knowledge provides clarity and empowers you to make conscious choices. Asia notes, “My life has a better sense of purpose and understanding due to how I’ve educated myself like I am this way because I went on a recovery journey to figure out what happened to me.”
  • Greater resilience: The tools and insights gained through recovery equip you to face life’s inevitable challenges with greater strength and adaptability. You learn to “fight better and always become the winner and the conqueror of any hard situation.”
  • A sense of purpose and joy: Moving beyond the constant fight with internal demons allows you to connect with your values, pursue meaningful goals, and experience genuine happiness and peace. Asia articulates this beautifully: “I know how it feels to feel amazing and at peace and go to sleep every night, grateful and thankful, and wake up the same way the next morning.”

The transformation is not about eradicating problems but about developing the capacity to respond to them with greater wisdom and strength. It’s about shifting from being defined by your struggles to being defined by your resilience and capacity for joy.

5. Self-Compassion and Intentionality: Your Daily Commitment

At the heart of a sustainable recovery journey lies the twin pillars of self-compassion and intentionality. Asia’s advice to those facing similar challenges is direct and compassionate: “My advice would be to dive deeper into yourself. Cut the distractions that you so easily create in your life, whether it be work, relationships, kids, family, family, everyone else but you. I know so many people that focus on everything and everyone else but themselves.” This powerful statement underscores the critical need to prioritize your own well-being.

Key aspects of self-compassion and intentionality include:

  • Accepting that “it’s okay to not be okay”: This is a crucial first step. Acknowledging your struggles without judgment opens the door to healing. As Asia advises, “Be okay with the fact that you’re not okay. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s human to not be able to withstand so much trauma. That’s all right. What’s not okay, is ignoring it like it’s not there. Like it didn’t happen, like it didn’t affect you.”
  • Prioritizing self-care: This involves consciously dedicating time and energy to activities that nourish your mental, emotional, and physical health. It’s about setting boundaries, engaging in stress-reducing practices, and ensuring adequate rest.
  • Daily intentionality: Recovery is not something that just happens; it’s a choice made daily. This means actively engaging in practices that support your well-being, even when it feels difficult. “I have to be aware about it every day. I have to be intentional about my recovery. I have to be intentional about my mental health,” Asia emphasizes.
  • Shifting your identity: Recovery is about recognizing that your struggles do not define you. While you may have experienced depression, anxiety, or addiction, you are not those conditions. “Your depression is not something that should be a part of your identity. Your depression should not rule over your happiness and your joy. What has to be the winner is you genuinely being okay with yourself, with your life, and doing whatever it takes to be healthy, mentally, physically, emotionally,” Asia powerfully states. This reframe allows you to step into a more empowered and authentic version of yourself.
  • Don’t delay seeking help: For those on the fence about getting help, Asia’s message is clear: “Get off the fence because this is your life and we don’t have a lot of time. Every single day is so precious that I truly believe that every human being deserves to genuinely be happy, genuinely not have to be fighting demons daily.”

Ultimately, the journey of recovery is a profound act of self-love and courage. It demands honesty, perseverance, and a willingness to confront discomfort. However, the peace, purpose, and joy that await on the other side are immeasurable. By embracing self-education, pursuing consistent therapeutic support, understanding recovery as an ongoing process, and committing to daily self-compassion and intentionality, you too can unmask your path to lasting peace and well-being.

A Brighter Tomorrow, Today

Asia’s recovery journey is a powerful testament to the human capacity for healing and transformation. Her story underscores that while life may present immense challenges, it is within our power to cultivate a life of purpose, peace, and genuine happiness. By taking the courageous steps of self-education, seeking appropriate professional help, embracing the ongoing nature of recovery, and committing to daily self-compassion and intentionality, anyone can embark on their own path toward a brighter tomorrow. Remember, your journey is unique, but the promise of a more fulfilling life is a universal truth worth fighting for.

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The Body Keeps The Score Summary: 8 Key Insights to Heal From Trauma

Bessel van der Kolk’s seminal work, “The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma,” offers a groundbreaking perspective on the impact of trauma on individuals. This book summary delves deep into how traumatic experiences fundamentally alter the brain, mind, and body, moving beyond traditional psychiatry and opening new pathways for trauma recovery. Through extensive neuroscience research and compelling case studies, van der Kolk argues that traumatized individuals require interventions that address not just the psychological, but also the physiological effects of trauma.

The article aims to provide a comprehensive overview of the book’s core takeaways, highlighting the necessity of a holistic approach to trauma treatment for trauma survivors and emphasizing the profound connection between our mental and physical well-being. It explores how early life traumatic events can rewire the nervous system, leading to persistent challenges that manifest as various physical symptoms and emotional dysregulation.

1. Understanding Trauma’s Pervasive Reach

Trauma is not merely a psychological scar; it is a profound alteration of the entire human organism. Bessel van der Kolk emphasizes that traumatic experiences are far more common than generally acknowledged, ranging from child abuse and domestic violence to war and natural disasters.

He notes that:

  • One in five Americans was sexually molested as a child
  • One in four was beaten by a parent to the point of a mark being left on their body
  • One in three couples engages in physical violence.

These statistics underscore trauma as a pervasive public health issue.

The book argues that while humans are incredibly resilient, traumatic events leave indelible traces on our minds, emotions, biology, and even our immune systems.

This broad understanding of trauma extends beyond the immediate psychological distress, illustrating how it impacts an individual’s capacity for joy, intimacy, and overall well-being. The author asserts that the struggle and resilience of his patients are deeply moving, demonstrating the human capacity to endure and seek healing.

2. The Brain’s Altered Landscape in Trauma

One of the most profound contributions of The Body Keeps the Score is its detailed exploration of how traumatic experiences literally rewire the brain. Advances in neuroscience, particularly brain imaging, have provided irrefutable evidence of these physiological changes. The book explains that trauma compromises the brain areas responsible for basic self-awareness and the accurate filtering of information.

The brain’s alarm system, primarily centered in the amygdala, becomes recalibrated in traumatized people. This leads to a state of being hypervigilant to threat, even when no actual danger is present.

The prefrontal cortex, responsible for rational thought and executive function, can go “offline” during traumatic flashbacks, impairing the ability to think logically and put feelings into words. This neurobiological shift explains why trauma survivors often struggle with learning from experience and repeatedly face similar problems.

3. How the Body Keeps the Score: A Physical Imprint

The core premise of Bessel van der Kolk’s work is that trauma is “encoded in the viscera,” meaning it profoundly affects our bodily sensations and physical reality. The autonomic nervous system (ANS), comprising the sympathetic (accelerator) and parasympathetic (brake) branches, becomes dysregulated.

This leads to persistent physical symptoms such as chronic pain, fibromyalgia, and even heart disease, as the body remains in a perpetual state of defense.

A crucial concept is interoception, the ability to feel and interpret internal bodily sensations. Traumatized individuals often lose this connection, leading to alexithymia—the inability to put feelings into words. They may experience physical discomfort without understanding its emotional root, or become so adept at numbing themselves that they lose touch with pleasure as well as pain.

The book vividly illustrates how these deeply ingrained physiological responses are outside conscious control, emphasizing that “the act of telling the story doesn’t necessarily alter the automatic physical and hormonal responses of bodies that remain hypervigilant, prepared to be assaulted or violated at any time.”

4. Childhood Trauma: The Hidden Epidemic

Childhood trauma, including neglect, sexual abuse, and domestic violence, is presented as a hidden epidemic with devastating long-term consequences. Van der Kolk highlights findings from the ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) Study, which revealed a strong correlation between early adverse experiences and a multitude of adult physical and mental health problems, including chronic depression, alcoholism, substance abuse, and even heart disease and cancer. The study showed that “for every soldier who serves in a war zone abroad, there are ten children who are endangered in their own homes.”

The development of secure attachment in early childhood is crucial for a child’s sense of self and capacity for self-regulation. When caregivers are a source of terror or neglect, children often develop disorganized attachment patterns.

These patterns, characterized by a fundamental lack of safety and trust, lead to pervasive dysregulation in emotional brain functions, affecting their ability to form healthy relationships, regulate their arousal, and maintain focus. Such traumatized children often struggle to distinguish between safety and danger, leading to repeated cycles of revictimization.

5. The Unbearable Weight of Traumatic Memories and Re-enactment

Traumatic memories differ significantly from ordinary memories. Instead of being organized as a coherent narrative, they are often fragmented, stored as isolated sensory imprints: images, sounds, physical sensations, and overwhelming emotions.

This fragmentation is linked to the deactivation of Broca’s area (the speech center) and the frontal lobes during overwhelming events. This means trauma survivors often experience flashbacks where they literally re-live the event as if it were happening in the present, complete with physiological arousal and the original emotions.

The book delves into the concept of dissociation, where parts of the overwhelming experience are split off from conscious awareness. This can manifest as depersonalization (feeling detached from oneself) or derealization (feeling that reality is unreal).

This “speechless horror” makes it incredibly difficult for traumatized people to articulate their experiences, leading to a “cover story” that fails to capture the inner truth. The “compulsion to repeat” trauma, where individuals unwittingly re-enact aspects of their past in current relationships or behaviors, is also explored as a desperate, often unconscious, attempt to gain control over unbearable feelings.

6. Embracing Holistic Paths to Recovery: Mind-Body Connection

A central theme of The Body Keeps the Score is the necessity of a holistic approach to trauma treatment. Van der Kolk argues that traditional talk therapy alone is often insufficient, as the rational brain cannot simply “talk” the emotional brain out of its deeply ingrained responses. True healing of trauma requires engaging the entire organism—body, mind, and brain—through both “top-down” and “bottom-up” approaches.

  • Top-down processing involves strengthening the prefrontal cortex’s capacity to understand and make sense of internal experiences, fostering self-awareness and cognitive control.
  • Bottom-up processing focuses on recalibrating the autonomic nervous system by directly addressing bodily sensations and physiological arousal. This involves practices that help the body learn that the danger has passed and that it is safe to relax.

The goal is to restore the proper balance between the rational and emotional brains, enabling trauma survivors to regain self-leadership and feel in charge of their responses and lives.

7. Innovative Therapeutic Interventions for Trauma

The book explores a diverse array of interventions that target the various ways trauma is held in the body and mind:

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

EMDR is presented as a powerful method for processing traumatic memories. It involves bilateral stimulation (often eye movements) while the client focuses on distressing memories. The theory suggests this process mimics the memory reprocessing that occurs during REM sleep, allowing traumatic memories to be integrated into a coherent narrative rather than remaining fragmented and overwhelming. Clinical studies, including van der Kolk’s own, showed EMDR to be highly effective, often leading to significant symptom reduction and long-term improvements in trauma survivors, even outperforming certain medications like Prozac.

Yoga and Mindfulness

Yoga is highlighted as a potent tool for trauma recovery by helping traumatized people to safely inhabit their bodies. Through conscious breathing (pranayama) and postures (asanas), yoga cultivates self-awareness and directly impacts the nervous system, improving heart rate variability (HRV) and regulating arousal.

Mindfulness, a core component of yoga, teaches individuals to observe their physical sensations and emotions without judgment, fostering emotional regulation and increasing the “window of tolerance” for difficult feelings. This bottom-up approach helps to counter the numbing and hyperarousal often experienced by trauma survivors.

Neurofeedback: Rewiring the Brain

Neurofeedback is introduced as a cutting-edge trauma treatment that directly addresses dysregulated brain waves. By providing real-time feedback on brain activity, individuals can learn to rewire their brains, promoting more coherent patterns of electrical communication.

This can stabilize the brain’s alarm system, improve focus and attention, and reduce chronic hyperarousal. Neurofeedback offers a promising avenue for traumatized children and adults to overcome issues like concentration problems, emotional instability, and dissociation, by literally changing the brain’s functioning.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy

IFS offers a compassionate framework for understanding the “parts” of oneself that develop in response to traumatic experiences. This model posits that the mind is a complex system, like a family, with different parts (e.g., exiled, managerial, firefighting) that adopt extreme roles to protect the individual from pain.

IFS therapy aims to help trauma survivors access their undamaged “Self” (a core of compassion, curiosity, and calm) to heal wounded parts and integrate the fragmented self. This approach helps reduce internal conflict and enables individuals to regain self-leadership.

Psychomotor Therapy and Communal Rhythms

Psychomotor therapy and other body-based approaches, like somatic experiencing, help individuals reconnect with bodily sensations and complete thwarted self-protective actions. Through structured exercises and role-playing, participants can re-experience past traumatic events in a safe, contained environment, leading to a visceral sense of agency.

The book also emphasizes the healing of trauma through communal rhythms and shared experiences, such as theater, singing, and dancing. These collective activities foster muscular bonding, promote synchrony, and help restore a sense of belonging and safety among trauma survivors, combating the isolation that often accompanies profound hurt.

8. Societal Implications and the Path Forward

The Body Keeps the Score concludes by calling for a shift towards a trauma-conscious society. Bessel van der Kolk argues that trauma is “arguably the greatest threat to our national well-being,” with costs exceeding those of cancer or heart disease.

He criticizes the current health care system for often focusing on symptom management with drugs rather than addressing underlying causes and fostering self-regulation and genuine connection.

The book advocates for widespread prevention efforts, particularly for traumatized children, through early interventions, quality childcare, and trauma-informed schools. It stresses that understanding of trauma must move beyond individual pathology to acknowledge the “undeniable social causation” of many problems.

Ultimately, trauma recovery is about restoring the capacity for playfulness, curiosity, and meaningful relationships, recognizing that humans are fundamentally social creatures wired for cooperation and connection. True healing means rebuilding lives where individuals can feel safe, belong, and actively shape their own futures.

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Somatic Therapy: 5 Ways Body-Based Healing Transforms Trauma Recovery

What if your body is the key to healing your mind? According to somatic therapy and those who have benefited, it is. 

Somatic means “of, relating to, or affecting the body especially as distinguished from the mind.” Essentially, ‘body therapy.’ It uses physical sensations and awareness to release trapped trauma and negative emotions, bringing a type of healing talk therapy can’t always reach.

You can picture trauma like something that gets stuck inside you, almost like a popcorn kernel in your teeth. You can usually feel it there but it’s hard to find, and hard to release when you don’t know where to reach. Somatic therapy brings awareness to trapped energy and allows its release through movement, which can bring long-awaited healing.

Image illustrates somatic therapy as a combination of three elements: body awareness and tuning into physical sensations, nervous system regulation and calming stress through breath and grounding, and body movement to process trauma and guided actions to release stored trauma. These components contribute to trauma release and emotional healing by listening to the body, not just thoughts. Includes calming imagery of a meditative figure surrounded by soft lines.

Somatic Therapy Explained

Somatic therapy, an evidence-based type of trauma therapy, centers on mindfulness, which means being aware of your internal state and surroundings. It was developed by psychologist and healthcare researcher Peter Levine. It’s often used to treat post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and trauma, since the body can store trauma.1 

Healing trauma can become more of a struggle when the effects of a traumatic event feel psychologically and biologically engrained. That’s why somatic therapy focuses on your mind-body connection, interoception, and self-awareness.

A build up of trauma and other negative emotional experiences can skew your self-regulation ability, making emotions and other internal sensations feel intense and hard to bear. Moving your body serves as an activation of this pent-up energy, allowing its release.

Here’s how somatic therapy offers a unique path to trauma recovery that goes beyond what traditional talk therapy can achieve alone:

Image showing a person sitting with their head in their hand, surrounded by symptoms of trauma stored in the body. Labels point to areas affected by trauma, including tight shoulders and neck stiffness, knotted stomach or gut discomfort, frozen limbs or restlessness, tense jaw and clenched teeth, shallow chest breathing, collapsed posture or defensive curl, and disconnected or numb sensations.

1. It Addresses Effects of Trauma

Trauma is ‘stored’ in the body because it can change how the brain and parts of the body function, even down to a cellular and genetic level,2 which can lead to disease and poor health. Bessel van der Kolk studied and published a book on this phenomena and novel ways of treating trauma, called The Body Keeps the Score. 

Traumatic experiences can place someone in perpetual fight-or-flight mode,3 which can damage and strain other areas of the body, like adrenal functions and other autonomic nervous systems. Mainly, this can mean someone constantly has elevated levels of cortisol, which causes stress and puts strain on the body that should only be temporary.

2. It Provides Solution-Based Support

Somatic experiencing is an intervention that aims to bring attention to the areas of the body that respond when someone remembers their trauma, or experiences a similar event. By doing this somatic therapists ‘release’ the emotions and sensations stored in the body that prevent true healing. A sign of success includes feeling safer in their body and more comfortable with various bodily sensations.

Somatic psychotherapy also uses aspects of psychotherapy to improve your overall mental health, sometimes called sensorimotor psychotherapy. For example, your session may start by verbally going through traumatic memories and then noticing their physical symptoms. Does your chest tighten? Do you start sweating? Does your stomach hurt?

Improving your body awareness can help you and your therapist discover what has an effect on you, and what movements can help.

Image highlighting six key techniques: titration and releasing trauma in small, manageable doses; pendulation and shifting attention between distress and safety; somatic discharge and using movement to release held trauma; therapeutic touch and supporting regulation through consented touch; and somatic tracking and noticing subtle bodily sensations moment to moment. Illustrated with calming icons and a person surrounded by flowing lines representing energy or emotion.

3. It Explores Numerous Evidence-Based Techniques

Somatic therapists will use a variety of mind-body techniques and modalities to release trapped negative emotions and trauma4. They blend aspects of neuroscience and body psychotherapy for a completely unique approach to healing. These somatic practices can vary based on individual needs, but options can include any of the following.

Bottom-Up

This approach means you start by becoming aware of physical sensations before moving into your mind and emotions. You’ll make nonjudgemental notice of what your body feels like and simply accept that before moving into your mind. There, you’ll see what may be attached to those feelings and sensations.

Breathwork

Breathwork, one of the simplest somatic approaches, focuses solely on your breathing. You’re guided to become aware of your breathing and follow breathing patterns to calm your mind and body. Your somatic therapist may have you put a hand on your belly and chest to connect to each breath, reducing dissociation.

Breathwork can be used in-the-moment to calm a stress response like racing heartbeat, shallow breathing, and even panic attacks.

Body Scans

In a body scan your psychotherapist will guide you through noticing areas of the body that feel tense, uncomfortable, or relaxed. For example, maybe you’ll come into your session feeling fine but during the body scan notice you’re holding tension in your shoulders, or feeling tightness in your stomach. You may also tune into your proprioception, which is how you sense where you are and what movements you’re making.

Body scans can be the first step in the bottom-up approach, or done on their own.

Pendulation 

Pendulation means thinking of the traumatic event and feeling those negative emotions before swinging back to a place of calm and comfort, then swinging into the strong emotions again. 

You’ll first identify the mental space you’ll go to when you need calm, which could be the present moment or a past memory that makes you feel at ease and happy. Then you’ll focus on a painful memory, let yourself experience its emotions, and swing back to safety before it gets to be too much. This can gradually build your tolerance and show your mind and body that you can control your feelings of safety.

Titration

Using the titration technique means you work through a traumatic memory, either by verbally walking through it or simply remembering it in the quiet of your mind. As you do, you’ll make note of how your body reacts and what types of physical sensations you feel.

Dance

Dancing to music can release energy and emotions that may be pent up inside you. This could look like slow, repetitive movements that make you feel calm and grounded, or more vigorous dancing that gets your heart pumping and releases energy. For this type of dance your somatic therapist might cue up some pop or EDM music, or jazz and classical tunes for more calming moves. 

Yoga

Somatic yoga often begins with a body scan to identify areas of tension and discomfort, both so somatic therapists know which areas to target and to avoid adding extra discomfort. 

Somatic yoga involves slow, grounded movements to connect your mind and body and release energy and tension. It can be a highly emotional, freeing experience, as can other somatic techniques. 

Resourcing

This technique is similar to pendulation, but serves more as a way to identify a calming, peaceful memory and bodily sensation that you can return to when you feel anxious, distressed, and overwhelmed. It’s like making note of it and storing it for later. 

You may use a memory of being in nature, like spending a quiet afternoon at the lake, and remember how it felt in both your mind and body. Maybe you felt completely relaxed, grounded in the sensations of the sun, wind, and sounds of the water. You’ll practice getting back into this headspace and noting how it calms and soothes your body. Then, as needed, you can use your ‘resource’ to relax, calm down, or recuperate. 

4. It Combines Conventional Therapy Structure With Body-Based Techniques

A somatic therapy session will have some similarities to talk therapies like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), but differ in the fact that it involves your body, too. Some type of movement or body scan will accompany each session.

You may start with talk therapy, like verbally processing a recent event or a traumatic memory, before moving into the physical portion. Your somatic therapist won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do; you’ll collaborate to find the most appealing and effective techniques.

Somatic therapy sessions can last anywhere from 1-2 hours, like a typical therapy session. The exact length may be predetermined by the therapist or even your insurance coverage. You’ll most likely meet in person, since your therapist will need to guide your movements and, in some cases and with consent, use touch. 

The room your sessions happen in may look a little different too, probably with extra space and even some tools like body rollers, hula hoops, stereos, and sensory objects like stones. Somatic therapy could even happen outside, using nature as a powerful grounding tool.

5. It Delivers Life-Changing Results

Somatic therapy can be hugely beneficial for those with trauma, PTSD, depression, chronic pain, and anxiety. For some it can be more comprehensive than talk therapy alone,5 since it takes an active, body-focused approach to healing you can feel.

Somatic therapy can reduce symptoms of PTSD and trauma,6 along with conditions like depression and anxiety. It also was found to improve general well-being and quality of life.

You may also find hobbies you enjoy through somatic therapy, like dance or yoga. Engaging in these hobbies broadens your community and can give you a continuous outlet for both positive and negative emotions.

Start Your Somatic Healing Journey

Somatic therapy could be the breakthrough you’ve been searching for. If traditional talk therapy hasn’t fully addressed your trauma, stress, or emotional challenges, a body-based approach might unlock the healing you deserve.

Take the next step: Find qualified somatic therapists in your area and discover how this powerful mind-body connection can transform your recovery.

FAQs

Q: What is somatic therapy?


 A: Somatic therapy is a body-centered approach to mental health that focuses on the connection between the mind and body. It helps people in recovery release trauma and stress stored in the body through physical awareness and movement.

Q: What is an example of a somatic treatment?


 A: Examples include breathwork, body scans, somatic yoga, pendulation, titration, and even dance therapy—each designed to help you feel and process emotions stored in the body.

Q: What is the difference between CBT and somatic therapy?


 A: Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) focuses on changing thought patterns to influence behavior, while somatic therapy starts with bodily sensations to process emotions and trauma. Somatic therapy often involves physical techniques alongside talk therapy.

Q: Does somatics really work?


 A: Yes, research shows that somatic therapy can reduce symptoms of PTSD, anxiety, and depression, and improve overall well-being. It’s especially effective for trauma stored in the body.

Q: What does somatic therapy treat?


 A: Somatic therapy is commonly used to treat trauma, PTSD, chronic stress, anxiety, depression, and even physical pain linked to emotional distress.

Q: How does somatic psychotherapy work?


 A: Somatic psychotherapy works by helping you tune into your body’s sensations and responses, often through guided movement, mindfulness, and breathwork. This process helps release trapped trauma and restore emotional balance.

Q: What is Somatic Experiencing Therapy?


 A: Developed by Dr. Peter Levine, Somatic Experiencing (SE) is a form of therapy that guides patients to notice and release physical sensations connected to traumatic experiences in a safe and controlled way.

Q: What happens during a somatic therapy session?


A: A typical session may involve a mix of talk therapy and body-based techniques like breathing exercises, body scans, or movement. You and your therapist work together to explore physical sensations tied to emotional experiences.

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Johnny’s Journey: 12 Insights on Healing from Suicidality and Rock Bottom

Growing up, Johnny experienced persistent anxiety, but early attempts at therapy didn’t resonate. Depression took hold in high school, escalating in college to a point of paralyzing hopelessness. His days became a blur of missed classes, work, and a desperate reliance on drugs and alcohol to numb the pain. Blackouts became frequent as he sought oblivion from the torment of simply existing. “I was really just not enjoying um, just being alive like every day was, was painful,” Johnny recalled. Self-hatred consumed him, leading to dark thoughts and even a suicide note.

Behind a carefully constructed facade of intoxication, Johnny hid his struggles. Friends remained unaware of the internal battle raging within. “Because I would use all the substances to pretend like everything was okay,” he explained. His escapes involved alcohol, cocaine, and occasionally other substances, each night a fleeting attempt to find a “fun,” pain-free experience, only to be followed by the harsh realities of memory loss and regret. The transition from casual use to a desperate need for escape was subtle but significant. “And I don’t think there’s any like healthy way to do drugs, but I definitely like, I guess the mindset changed from…oh, let’s party kind of way to let me just like escape for a little bit. I need to do this,” Johnny realized.

The turning point came during a night of intense despair in his fraternity house. Confessing his suicidal thoughts to his parents over the phone prompted their immediate intervention. Their worry and subsequent arrival became the catalyst for change, overriding the bleak thought that his absence wouldn’t matter. “I had come to a point where I was thinking like  everybody in my life would be able to get over me killing myself, I guess. but I was just struggling with feeling like my mom couldn’t get over it. And then seeing her the next day kind of like cemented that, you know, I would not wanna leave her like broken like that.” His initial approach to seeking help was a last resort, a fragile hope in the darkness. “I gave recovery a shot. If I can fix my IBS and fix my depression and suicidality, then great. And if not, I can just take my life afterwards.”

Navigating the vastness of the internet in search of help for mental health and substance use felt like an insurmountable task for Johnny. The sheer volume of information was paralyzing, making it difficult to know where to begin. However, discovering Recovery.com provided a much-needed sense of clarity and direction. This platform offered a structured approach to finding treatment options, categorizing facilities and providing comprehensive information, reviews, and resources in one accessible place. This streamlined process transformed the overwhelming search into a manageable step towards finding help.

2. The Importance of Comprehensive and Individualized Care

Johnny’s struggles extended beyond substance abuse, encompassing depression, anxiety, and even gambling issues. Therefore, finding a treatment center that offered a holistic approach was crucial. Recovery.com facilitated this by allowing him to identify facilities that addressed a range of co-occurring disorders. This ensured that he wouldn’t feel like an outlier and that his specific needs would be met, paving the way for more effective and meaningful treatment.

3. The Calming Influence of Shared Experiences

The fear of the unknown surrounding treatment was significant for Johnny. However, a conversation with someone who had previously attended the facility he was considering helped to alleviate some of his anxieties. Hearing firsthand about their experiences provided a sense of reassurance and demystified the process. This highlights the profound impact that sharing personal stories can have in offering hope and guidance to those contemplating seeking help.

4. Johnny’s Gradual Integration into a Supportive Community

Entering treatment felt like stepping into an unfamiliar world for Johnny. Adjusting to the structured environment and connecting with strangers took time. The initial days were marked by a sense of disorientation. However, the gradual integration into the recovery community proved to be a pivotal aspect of his healing journey. The shared experiences and mutual support fostered a sense of belonging and understanding that countered the isolation he had previously felt.

5. The Unexpected Bonds of Resident-Led Support

While the formal treatment program was essential, the informal support networks within the facility also played a significant role for Johnny. The resident-run AA group created a strong sense of camaraderie and provided an additional layer of support and understanding. This highlights the power of peer-to-peer connections in fostering a sense of community and shared recovery.

6. Breaking Free from the Grip of Isolation

Both depression and substance use thrive in isolation, reinforcing negative self-perceptions. Connecting with others in recovery who had experienced similar struggles shattered the illusion of being alone in his pain. Witnessing their vulnerability and resilience offered a powerful message of hope and the possibility of recovery for Johnny.

7. The Profound Impact of Empathy and Shared Humanity

Sharing space with individuals from diverse backgrounds and with different struggles fostered a deep sense of empathy and connection for Johnny. Hearing their stories and witnessing their strength in the face of adversity broadened his perspective and reinforced the understanding that despite our differences, we share a common human experience marked by both pain and the capacity for healing.

8. Shifting from Escape to Healthy Engagement

Johnny’s substance use had been a maladaptive coping mechanism, a way to escape emotional pain. As he addressed the underlying issues in therapy and developed healthier coping strategies, his relationship with substances shifted. The intense craving for escape diminished, allowing for a more balanced and conscious approach to social situations involving alcohol.

9. Addressing Root Causes for Lasting Healing

Treatment provided the crucial opportunity for Johnny to delve into past traumas and experiences that had contributed to his mental health struggles. By processing these experiences with the guidance of a therapist, he began to understand the origins of his pain and develop healthier ways of coping. This focus on addressing the root causes, rather than just the symptoms, is essential for long-term healing and well-being.

10. Cultivating Purpose as a Foundation for Recovery

Finding a sense of purpose and meaning in life became an integral part of Johnny’s recovery. Identifying activities, relationships, and passions that brought joy and fulfillment provided a positive focus and a reason to move forward. This emphasis on creating a life worth living is a vital component of sustained recovery.

11. The Importance of Aftercare Planning

Recognizing that recovery is an ongoing process, the treatment program emphasized the significance of aftercare planning for Johnny. Developing a concrete plan for therapy, support groups, and healthy lifestyle choices provided a sense of direction and helped to mitigate the anxiety of returning to everyday life. This proactive approach increases the likelihood of sustained recovery and continued growth.

12. Embracing a Holistic Path to Well-being

Ultimately, Johnny’s journey to recovery involved a holistic approach that addressed the interconnectedness of his mental health, substance use, and overall well-being. By addressing past traumas, developing coping skills, building a supportive community, and cultivating a sense of purpose, he began to move from a place of despair towards hope and healing. This comprehensive approach underscores the complexity of recovery and the importance of addressing all aspects of an individual’s life.